Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Rooted in Values: Honoring Your Emotional, Personal & Professional Growth with Tina Mistry

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Rooted in Values: Honoring Your Emotional, Personal & Professional Growth with Tina Mistry · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

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  Hello, Melissa Crook here with The Field Podcast.
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  Here are your ways to engage with our new episode rooted in
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  values, honoring your emotional, personal and professional growth
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  with Tina Mystery Journal. Your values in different areas
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  of your life such as professional, personal,
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  emotional, spiritual, you get the idea.
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  Continue to check in with yourself from time to time and
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  journal these values as things change.
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  Are there any similarities or themes?
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  Is there a shift in your values? Is there a constant value that
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  has remained over time? This is a really important check
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  in process to do throughout your year, your month, different
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  seasonal changes to make sure that you're still living your
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  life in alignment with where you are currently.
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  So I hope these give you really helpful ways to engage with this
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  great discussion with my friend Tina Mystery rooted in values,
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  honoring your emotional, personal and professional
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  growth. Thanks so much for being with
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  us. Hello field podcast audience,
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  Welcome back this week. I'm here today with a friend
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  that I've known less than a year, but I feel like I've known
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  forever. She's just one of those people
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  where we connected right away. I met her here in Fresno where I
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  live through my membership at the Fresno County Women's
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  Chamber of Commerce. And she I just, I just really, I
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  think I met her at my first meeting actually last summer and
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  we just connected. We met right away.
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  She's been on panels with us. You've heard her voice before.
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  Now you get to meet her individually one-on-one.
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  And I've got Tina Mystery here with me today.
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  And she describes herself as thoughtful, strategic and
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  committed. And I've, she said those things.
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  She's like, this might be a region like not at all.
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  That's exactly, exactly how I see you and better off you see
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  yourself that way, which I love. Tina, Welcome to the Field
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  podcast. Thanks, Melissa.
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  Thanks for having me. I'm really, really excited to be
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  here and kind of have this conversation.
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  And yeah, yeah, thank you so much for having me.
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  Absolutely, I can't wait to get into and share all that you have
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  to offer to women to people and and you're why behind doing it.
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  It's really going to come through as we Share your story
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  today, but also how you balance everything because you're you
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  know, you have a lot of roles. I mean, you, you know, you have
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  you run an organization where you are the boss, the manager,
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  the owner, all those things. You have a family of kids that
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  are pretty young. You have partner, so you're
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  wearing all these different hats and so you've really had to get
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  creative on how you show up in all of these spaces as as
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  authentically and healthily as you can.
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  So I think that's going to give a good lens to women on on how
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  you do this because so many women are in the space you're
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  in. I know you're going to have a
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  lot to offer them today. So let's get right into it.
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  Prioritizing self-care in your life.
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  Talk to me about your journey with that.
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  Yeah. You know, it's been kind of
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  interesting. So, yeah, like you mentioned, I
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  own my own business. I'm a financial planner.
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  I've been doing this for about 20 years now, bought the
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  business from the previous owners, So juggled sort of
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  building a career into sort of this, I guess, you know, to a
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  certain degree, entrepreneurship life.
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  I'm a mom of two. My kids are five and two or six
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  and two when this episode comes out.
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  And, you know, the other thing too, that I find a lot of joy
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  and, and sort of being involved in is in the community.
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  So, yeah, through the chamber, through various nonprofits,
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  through my alma mater, Fresno State.
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  Yeah. So, So yeah, definitely a lot to
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  juggle. But I think, you know, I'm very
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  passionate about the things that I decide to get involved in.
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  So that sort of helps from a mental standpoint.
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  But yeah, you know what, I'll what I'll say first is that
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  prioritizing self-care does not come naturally to me.
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  I think through some of the episodes I've listened of yours,
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  Melissa, that I don't think it comes easy to a lot of women.
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  So, you know, I think I just want to fully recognize that.
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  But yeah, it, it's been a slow process.
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  I think I just sort of take it a day at a time.
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  You know, some of the things I do are really small in nature.
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  So, you know, listening to favorite podcasts of mine,
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  listening to music. One thing I recently started
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  doing was on Spotify. I've I used to be really a a
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  really big music collector when I was a teenager and then in my
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  20s and then I got a full time job and that stopped.
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  And light happened. So I couldn't, I couldn't go to,
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  you know, the proverbial record store and, and go buy all the
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  music I wanted to. So my husband introduced me to
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  Spotify a few years ago. And then just recently I, I
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  started thinking about, you know, some of my favorite sort
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  of albums and started downloading those on Spotify and
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  go back and listen to those. So I'm kind of in this sort of
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  90s R&B hip hop face right now. So that gives me a lot of joy
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  and I feel like I it almost helps me sort of reminisce back
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  to the days when I didn't have kids and didn't have a huge load
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  of commitment. And that sort of puts me in a
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  good mental space. Yeah.
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  Yeah, I I watched, you know, favorite TV shows.
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  I I especially love comedies. I really enjoy this thing and
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  watching to various comedy specials and a variety of
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  comedians, especially there's some really amazing comedians
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  that are women out there. Yeah, yeah, they they talk about
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  like all the mom stuff, all the women stuff.
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  And it's just like, Oh yeah, I totally know what you're you
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  know, I can totally relate to that.
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  So that's a lot of fun. So yeah.
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  So it's really a lot of small things that I do for self-care
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  because again, sometimes it's very sort of small amounts of
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  time that I have or, you know, it's in between changing a
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  diaper and feeding another kid or, or something like that.
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  So so yeah. And, you know, you know, in the
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  occasion where I maybe get a couple hours to myself or
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  something, I, I can never pass up a, a good massage.
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  So I, I try to do that too. But yeah, it's a lot of little
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  things, yeah. Yeah, a lot of little things.
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  I think that you hit on some important things.
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  You found those things, those activities that nourish you,
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  those things that lift your spirit, and you've weaved them
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  into your day and into your spaces.
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  And I think that's such a key component here.
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  And you said something earlier that this is hard for a lot of
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  women. It is it's hard for a lot of
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  women because it's not the script we got, it's not the
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  script we got. It's not what we even
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  necessarily saw modeled to us, you know, And so in order to
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  like get to us, we really have to go on our own journey and
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  realize. And I think we're starting to
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  see more and more of that now where it's like, no, this old
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  script, an old narrative is not serving and we're just not going
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  to generationally carry that on. And so making that shift and
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  that awareness within that so that you can show up the way you
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  want to in this space. You also, you know, you've
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  appeared with us on our New Year Take Care of You panel because
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  you show up for people and you really especially you help all
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  people, but you help women with their finances who maybe haven't
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  had an appetite for that before. And maybe they've been forced
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  into a situation, whether through loss of someone, a
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  divorce, you know, whatever the case may be, they didn't learn
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  about it from their parents, whatever it was of helping them
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  get confident in their finances and financial health is a part
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  of our self-care. And you very clearly articulate
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  that. You realize that you present it
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  in a very personable and approachable way.
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  Absolutely. And you know, and I think that
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  is such an important piece of what you not only what you
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  offer, but how you offer it. You're very philanthropic.
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  You know, the power of women coming together and supporting
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  each other. You're a women owned, woman
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  owned business yourself. And I think I, you know, it's
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  important for us to talk about that.
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  These are all pieces that fit into our self-care.
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  Absolutely, Absolutely. Yeah, I know.
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  Yeah, we talked about it during the panel discussion in terms of
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  just, gosh, you know, how how tough it can be, how
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  overwhelming it can be to get a handle on finances, especially
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  if it hasn't been your thing. You know, usually, you know, in
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  a traditional couple when they kind of walk into my office, it
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  is usually the male sort of leading.
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  I will say, you know, I think just over the course of the last
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  couple years as we grow our clientele, I have seen more
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  women taking the lead, which is great.
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  I think that's fantastic. I really honestly, I like a
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  balanced approach. So whether it's, yeah, you know,
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  a male or female coming in and maybe the males more dominating
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  the conversation or maybe the female in some cases, I really
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  make a point to try to engage both, you know, eye contact, you
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  know, physical behavior, making sure, you know, I address, okay,
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  you know, Mrs. Smith, did you have any questions too?
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  Or, you know, does that make sense to you, Mrs. Smith or
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  something like that? So really trying to make a
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  conscious effort to engage everybody in the room when it
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  comes to managing their finances is is super important.
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  And I think I know we're going to, you know, talk a little bit
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  about the, you know, the importance of having a why.
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  And, and I want to maybe even elaborate on that journey of how
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  I got to my sort of personal why statement.
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  But I think that one of the things I've realized in the
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  course of doing this for almost 20 years is that, but money is a
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  very sensitive topic. A lot of people may come in
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  whether they're wealthy or not, they have some sort of maybe
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  quote, UN quote shame about how they've managed their finances
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  or. Maybe they don't know.
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  Something that they feel like they should.
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  And I think they come in feeling like they're going to be judged.
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  And I think that's something that I've personally strived as
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  an advisor is to make sure it's a no judgement zone.
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  I know what it's like to be broke.
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  I know what it's like to be well taken care of.
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  And I know what it's like to be broke again.
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  I've gone through sort of that cycle in my life and I know how
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  it feels in terms of being judged, being judged by people
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  who you think are supposed to be in your corner, being judged by
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  people who you don't even know, you know, and whether you know
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  somebody comes in with a dollar or $1,000,000.
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  I, I make it a point to make sure that they feel like it's a
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  safe space to talk, it's a safe space to share what's on their
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  mind, what their concerns are, what they're scared about, what
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  keeps them up at night. And that's, that's really a
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  really important part of the journey, I think.
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  Yeah, I love the way you laid that that out.
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  We're going to come back to some of that stuff in a moment here.
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  So hold on, hold on to some of those thoughts.
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  You got it. Before we get into that, talk to
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  me about confidently setting boundaries.
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  When you own your own business, it's real easy to just work all
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  the time, but you know you can't do that or you'll burn yourself
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  out. Not to mention you got little
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  ones at home that are waiting for your attention when you walk
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  through the door and and a partner relationship and and
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  just yourself. So talk to me about that
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  boundaries piece and balancing all of that.
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  Yeah, I think something I've done over the last couple years
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  again, especially having two kids and everything going on, as
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  crazy as it sounds, I plan out my entire year sometime in like
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  December of the previous year. So.
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  I literally look at the entire 12 months ahead of me and I
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  decide, OK, the first week, I'll just kind of throw this out
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  there. The first week of every month,
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  no client meetings, no personal meetings.
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  It's all about focusing on the business.
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  So whether it's going out there, networking, building a strategic
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  plan, checking up on goals, maybe watching a webinar or two
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  to educate myself on a particular aspect, that's the
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  first week of every month. And then usually the the next
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  two or three weeks of the month are client meetings.
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  So that time is in service to clients.
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  And a lot of the service things that we do as a team here to
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  ensure clients are taking care of is focused on that.
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  So I'll just sort of block out my calendar on Outlook like
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  it's, I'm just like a maniac about it.
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  And. Then the other thing I do too,
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  as sort of a part of that exercise is I will block out
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  days or particular weeks. So I'll, I'll pencil in my
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  vacations first. You know, I'll pencil in like,
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  you know, maybe there's a day or two where it's like kids,
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  doctor's appointments, my doctor's appointments, personal
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  errands, just all that kind of stuff in one day.
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  And just really focus on time blocking because, one, it helps
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  me be more efficient with my time.
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  But then I'm also not like doing this sort of brain switch
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  between like, work and personal work and personal.
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  And that can be in and of itself extremely exhausting.
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  So yeah, I try to do that. I communicate with my team in
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  the office all the time. I tell them, hey, you know what,
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  next week's my son's birthday, not going to be here, not going
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  to do this, or I've already planned it out.
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  So yeah, I'll even like plan, plan for days where I'm just not
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  doing anything. I, you know, hopefully maybe
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  coming in, getting that massage that I've been wanting for the
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  last couple months or whatever. Yeah, time blocking, you know,
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  really people think of it as more of a work thing.
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  I really think of it more as well personal and work.
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  Yeah. And I, and I think like a lot of
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  people sort of say, OK, well, gosh, you know, you, you, you
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  know, really should be focusing on the business or focusing on
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  your clients and, and that sort of thing.
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  And I 100% agree. But I think on one of your
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  previous episodes, you talked about how, you know, taking time
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  off or just sort of relaxing isn't really lazy.
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  It's actually should be, you know, a part of the routine.
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  It's actually a good thing to do.
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  And I heard a really great quote from another person in my
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  industry that said, like planning for time off or, or
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  resting or taking care of yourself should be a
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  prerequisite for doing good work and not a real board.
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  And that's really how I sort of look at that and how I how I
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  look at that and plan for that and, and sort of put myself in a
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  positive mindset so that I don't feel guilty about it.
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  So. Yeah, yeah, it's it's it it
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  making it a non negotiable like this is part of my process to
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  make sure I'm refreshed and renewed and showing up in all of
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  my spaces the way that I want to show up, present in the moment,
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  not distracted, not irritable, all those things.
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  I love that that this idea that rest, that we only can rest
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  after we've ran ourselves ragged is a capitalistic idea that is
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  really, really damaging to our health.
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  And no one wins when we do that. I mean, it's this, this idea
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  that, you know, probably starts back to, you know, getting
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  history on this here. Industrial revolution is just
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  like ran like wildfire. And, you know, and it's just
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  like, no, this is not sustainable.
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  Why do we want to do that to ourselves?
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  We want to be in this for the long haul, but we want to be, we
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  want to live full life well in all of our spaces.
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  So yeah, getting rid of this idea that it's earned and making
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  it part of what we do. I love the time blocks.
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  And I think that's such an important, especially when you
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  have all the pieces and layers to your life that you do.
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  That's really smart. And it makes sure that you're
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  able to really show up and hidden all cylinders the way you
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  want to and all the spaces and places.
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  And I and I, man, I love that you get on a year before in
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  advance. Oh my gosh, that's fantastic.
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  I mean, not to stay. And again, I don't want this
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  coming off as like being sort of perfect in terms of how
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  everything's absolutely. And like, oh, trust me, like
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  there have been so many sort of curveballs thrown at me this
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  year so far where I had to just sort of rearrange and readjust
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  so that that is just sort of an expectation.
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  I even build into it and I try to build it, you know, maybe
• 18:14
  some wiggle room or some wiggle time to account for the
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  unexpected. But yeah, it really, I mean, I,
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  I tell everybody on my team like I live and dive on my calendar
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  and you know, it. It's what keeps me sane and, and
• 18:31
  just having that sort of level of organization and, and again,
• 18:34
  putting myself in the right mindset because you know, the
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  other thing too, I was going to say was, you know, if I have a
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  bad day or, you know, just something just sort of negative
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  happens and I'm headed into a client meeting where I'm
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  supposed to be giving advice and supposed to be helping somebody
• 18:54
  and, and giving them the right direction.
• 18:58
  Like I've got to be in a good mindset for that.
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  So, so if all I'm doing is client meetings on a particular
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  day, I'm, I'm in that zone, you know, if you will, throughout
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  the day or throughout that entire week.
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  And and I feel like that that sort of builds on itself and in
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  weeks like that too. Yeah, 100%.
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  And what this gives you by this planning and having this count,
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  it gives you a framework and then you've got, you've got, you
• 19:24
  know, flexibility within the framework and the expectation
• 19:27
  that things can come up, but it gives you a framework to operate
• 19:31
  off of, to keep you on track. I mean, that's a lot what I talk
• 19:34
  about this, these talking points that I use this framework when I
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  speak to women, When I present to women, I'm like, listen, life
• 19:41
  happens. That's why we need a framework
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  to keep us in place to keep asking ourselves the questions
• 19:47
  that are going to help us get back in alignment when we get
• 19:50
  out of it. That's a great example of a
• 19:52
  framework that you've set up for yourself that allows you to stay
• 19:55
  on track and gives you kind of a compass, you know, to follow and
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  with you with, you know, knowing there's still room for life to
• 20:03
  happen. It's not so rigid that you don't
• 20:04
  understand that, but it gives you that blueprint.
• 20:07
  I think that's a great that's a great example.
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  Thank you. OK, going this is going to take
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  us back to some things, she said when we were talking about
• 20:13
  self-care. But taking care of our.
• 20:16
  Taking care of our emotional health, mental health, physical
• 20:20
  health, spiritual health, one that's, that's a peace and
• 20:24
  component of our health that we're really, I think just
• 20:26
  starting to talk about over the last five to 10 years, the fact
• 20:29
  that they're all connected, you know, within that for you, it's
• 20:33
  a necessary component, I would imagine, just because of the
• 20:36
  different layers you have in your life.
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  But then also too, when you're helping clients, you mentioned
• 20:41
  earlier that money can bring up a lot of emotions with people.
• 20:46
  And. So you're going to be dealing
• 20:47
  with a lot of those emotions, helping them walk those out and
• 20:51
  get to a place where it feels doable, where it feels safe,
• 20:55
  where it feels they feel empowered.
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  But then you also have to kind of be in a space where you're
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  not taking on those emotions yourself.
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  So I mean, you're like, you're like a financial advisor slash
• 21:07
  therapist sometimes. And it's like, wait a minute, I
• 21:11
  did not get my own Mt God that that was the part of the deal.
• 21:17
  So talk to me about kind of, you know, how you manage the
• 21:22
  different layers of that. Yeah, yeah.
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  You know, with, with clients, it's definitely a fine balance
• 21:33
  between being empathetic and, you know, just just sort of
• 21:37
  listening, right, Just being a sounding board for them, but
• 21:41
  then also, you know, keeping them accountable, right.
• 21:44
  You know, if I have a client who says, gosh, you know, I'm going
• 21:49
  through, you know, XYZ situation and I'm having to spend, you
• 21:54
  know, more money than I expected.
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  And, you know, hearing them out and understanding and, and
• 22:01
  understanding where they're coming from.
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  And at least, you know, listening is a huge part of my
• 22:05
  job. So, you know, really just being
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  there and listening. But.
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  Then also, you know, if they say that, you know, they're
• 22:12
  overspending and it's derailing, you know, their plans for
• 22:15
  retirement. Let's say, you know, they want
• 22:17
  to retire at a certain age. And I kind of say, well, if you
• 22:20
  continue to spend this way, you're going to have to work a
• 22:22
  couple extra years. And they're like, well, no, no,
• 22:25
  no, no, we can't have that happen.
• 22:26
  Well, I'm like, well, here's all the things you need to do to,
• 22:29
  you know, make that happen. So, so it's a fine balance
• 22:34
  because like, again, like, like you said, life happens and life
• 22:38
  throws us curve balls. And we've got to be willing to
• 22:40
  adjust for that. But at the same time, keeping
• 22:43
  ourselves accountable and, and keeping ourselves sort of being
• 22:48
  very self aware, I guess is maybe another way to say it and
• 22:51
  making sure are we self sabotaging or not and, and that
• 22:54
  kind of thing. So, so, yeah, I, I think, you
• 23:00
  know, in terms of, you know, gosh, you know, some of the
• 23:03
  toughest conversations I have with clients are, you know, I
• 23:06
  remember having a client that came in and they lost their job
• 23:09
  and it was like their entire world was falling apart.
• 23:14
  Clients come in and they've just lost a spouse or they're getting
• 23:18
  a divorce. They're, you know, you, you name
• 23:20
  the sort of tragedy, right, that life goes away.
• 23:25
  Those are not easy conversations.
• 23:27
  And I think I find a lot of maybe comfort in terms of, you
• 23:32
  know, maybe not quote UN quote taking that home with me.
• 23:34
  But. I find a lot of comfort in just
• 23:37
  talking with my teammates here in the office.
• 23:39
  You know, my colleague AJ, who's the other lead advisor here, you
• 23:43
  know, we, we sort of just kind of go back and forth about,
• 23:47
  well, what was your, what was your meeting like or what was
• 23:49
  your meeting like? And just sort of like air it
• 23:52
  out. And I think that's how the
• 23:54
  battle is. Just you almost like when you
• 23:56
  talk about it, it's off of your shoulders and it's like in the
• 23:58
  atmosphere and you're not the one carrying it anymore.
• 24:02
  So I think stuff like. That happens.
• 24:06
  I think one of the things too, just in terms of the emotional
• 24:10
  side of it, we started this thing in the office called, let
• 24:14
  me see if I can say it without getting my words twisted.
• 24:19
  A client kudos corner. So we have a bulletin board
• 24:22
  that's right outside of my my office and my colleague AJ's
• 24:26
  office. We can see it from our eye line
• 24:28
  where we sit at our desk. And anytime a client gives us
• 24:33
  some words of affirmation or gratitude or sends me a nice
• 24:38
  text or whatever it is, if we feel like it's impactful, we
• 24:43
  throw it on the board. And anytime we are feeling like
• 24:48
  just horrible and having a bad day, I go and I read some of
• 24:52
  those notes because it centers us back to why we do what we do,
• 24:59
  why we care for the people we care for.
• 25:02
  And, you know, as bad as, you know, conversations can get, you
• 25:07
  know, just sort of centering us back to that purpose and I that
• 25:12
  that's been really, really helpful.
• 25:14
  So. Oh, I love that.
• 25:15
  That's so smart. That's so helpful.
• 25:17
  We talked about on a panel that I recorded yesterday, the power
• 25:21
  of a couple of us brought up if someone has made a you come
• 25:26
  across and we were talking about women in this case, and it can
• 25:28
  be anybody you've come across a woman who has impacted you in a
• 25:33
  in a positive way, in a helpful way, in a way that was just made
• 25:38
  a difference for you. It made a shift for you with
• 25:40
  something you needed to hear. Whatever it was, make sure you
• 25:44
  let them know. Because I think.
• 25:46
  So many times we just assume, well, they must know they do
• 25:50
  this kind of work. They must know how valuable you
• 25:52
  they are. They must maybe you don't know
• 25:55
  how many tough things they've had to deal with that day and
• 25:58
  how much pushback they've gotten.
• 26:00
  You just never know what people's inner stories are.
• 26:03
  So taking that opportunity to tell people the impact they've
• 26:07
  had on you, you just never know what that's going to do for
• 26:11
  someone's mood, how they feel about their work, work they're
• 26:13
  doing, you know, giving. Maybe it's just that
• 26:17
  legitimization they need for that day.
• 26:20
  So. I love that.
• 26:23
  I think, you know, I for for whatever reason, like I don't do
• 26:28
  compliments. Well, I don't know what it is.
• 26:30
  I'm maybe that's something else. We'll unpack it so.
• 26:33
  I know. I don't either.
• 26:34
  I know, I know. I want to like run and hide
• 26:38
  like, you know, my cheeks get red.
• 26:40
  I I just don't do it well, but when I do get those compliments
• 26:44
  now, you know, again, we kind of have this outlet to you know,
• 26:47
  this this this bulletin board that we use.
• 26:50
  We have an outlet for that. But then I would also say too,
• 26:53
  in turn, I think it's made me be more outspoken about how
• 26:57
  appreciative I am so of, of what other people do too.
• 27:01
  So, you know, you know, I see a post on LinkedIn of somebody
• 27:06
  doing something amazing out in the community.
• 27:09
  And, and that's something that resonates with my values in
• 27:12
  terms of giving back. And I'll post, you know, I'll
• 27:15
  make more of an effort to post and say, Hey, that is such a
• 27:18
  cool project that you're doing. That's such a great nonprofit
• 27:21
  or, you know, whatever it is, right.
• 27:23
  So that I appreciate, like you said, appreciate the work that
• 27:26
  they're doing and the impact they're making.
• 27:29
  I, I, it's made me more conscious of that and doing that
• 27:32
  and making an effort to do that. Not to say I'm not an
• 27:34
  appreciative person, but, you know, showing it, showing it is
• 27:38
  always maybe has been tough for me.
• 27:40
  So yeah. Yeah, I think those are things
• 27:42
  that are swimming around in our head and we just don't slow
• 27:44
  down. It's that slowing down and being
• 27:45
  present and mindful and. And you do that really well, You
• 27:49
  really do. You are great at celebrating the
• 27:51
  people around you. I've seeing you in action doing
• 27:55
  that and and this goes nice. You're welcome, you're welcome.
• 27:58
  And this really goes nicely into how we can support ourselves and
• 28:04
  other women in living unapologetically.
• 28:07
  You model this very what feels very seamless to me.
• 28:12
  You show up unapologetically. You show yourself you're very
• 28:15
  authentic. You're very this is who I am.
• 28:18
  You're very organic, You're very engaging, like you have all
• 28:23
  those that you just really to me feel naturally wired that way.
• 28:27
  And you also show up, you know, in the way you show up and the
• 28:30
  things you're involved in. I mean, you know, we are
• 28:33
  involved in multiple organizations together.
• 28:36
  You know, Fresno County Women's Chamber, you are the chair of
• 28:39
  the board for the gender and leadership, you know, consortium
• 28:43
  that we are a part of at Fresno State University supporting
• 28:47
  students, primarily women students and, and, and you,
• 28:51
  you're, you know, you are a key sponsor for the work we do at
• 28:57
  Fresno County Women's Chamber. Like you're really, you're out
• 29:00
  there in the community. I go to look at Tina's LinkedIn.
• 29:04
  It's they are supporting. I mean you, but you're smart
• 29:08
  about it too. You're strategic about it in the
• 29:11
  places you show up, but you're very intentional.
• 29:14
  So you very naturally show up for yourself and other women
• 29:18
  unapologetically. Thank you.
• 29:20
  Is this a space you've always felt at home in?
• 29:24
  How did you get here? Or just have you just feel like
• 29:27
  you came out that way? You know that that's a really
• 29:31
  great question. You know, I think what I'll say
• 29:35
  is that I think it's taken me time to get here.
• 29:38
  I can't say that I, I have a secret, Melissa.
• 29:43
  I'll be 40 this year. And again, maybe that's
• 29:46
  something else we need to unpack, but I, I can't say that
• 29:50
  in my 20s, I felt as just mentally confident as I do now.
• 29:57
  And I think it's just, I think it's just time and experience,
• 30:00
  whether that's in my profession or having some actual life
• 30:04
  experience, you know, having kids is a life experience of
• 30:07
  itself. You know, being married is a
• 30:09
  life experience and managing, you know, you know, a
• 30:12
  relationship with your spouse is life experience.
• 30:15
  And I feel like, you know, you get to a certain place where you
• 30:19
  just feel a little bit more comfortable in your own skin and
• 30:21
  you just show up And it's like, like, I almost sort of say like,
• 30:25
  gosh, you know what, I'm going to do my best to connect with
• 30:28
  people, but if they don't want to connect with me or, you know,
• 30:31
  just sort of some sort of negative energy happens in the
• 30:34
  room, just move on with my day. Like it's just, I just let it
• 30:38
  roll right off my shoulders. And again, I think again, that's
• 30:41
  just, that's just time and experience.
• 30:43
  And then, you know, the other thing I'll add to is, you know,
• 30:48
  a lot of, a lot of my line of work, a lot of the community
• 30:51
  involvement I do, it's all about building relationships.
• 30:55
  And as soon as I, you know, I don't know, I don't know if
• 30:58
  you've ever met Beth Bridges, but she was, she did our speed
• 31:01
  networking thing at the at the Chamber.
• 31:04
  Yeah, yeah. I've actually known her for a
• 31:07
  really long time. We sort of had a lot of touch,
• 31:10
  but she was the first person who really taught me what true
• 31:12
  networking was. You show up and you figure out
• 31:15
  how you can help the person across the room.
• 31:18
  And I was just like, that is so genius like that.
• 31:22
  I think that's the approach I have when I decide to join a
• 31:26
  nonprofit board. I decide to obviously, you know,
• 31:30
  my, my line of work and, and running my business, you know,
• 31:34
  coming to chamber events or whatever it is, I'm just like, I
• 31:37
  go at it with an attitude of like, I'm just here to help
• 31:40
  people. And I, I know for certain it has
• 31:44
  come back to me tenfold. But I, I think when you just go
• 31:49
  in with sort of that positive mindset and that's not always
• 31:51
  easy to do, but when you just go into it with like the best of
• 31:55
  intentions, I, I just feel like it, it all sort of works itself
• 32:01
  out in some fashion. Well, and I like to it takes the
• 32:04
  pressure off. I think in network events, we
• 32:06
  can really freak ourselves out. I'm not an extrovert, you know,
• 32:10
  those kinds of things. But if you go in with that
• 32:12
  mindset of like, how can, how can I help people in the room,
• 32:14
  then you've got a kind of a purpose and a like, oh, I can
• 32:17
  connect with that. I could that that's a good
• 32:19
  starter for a conversation. I think that really makes it
• 32:22
  feel, you know, more practical, doable, relatable, connectable,
• 32:27
  takes the pressure off. You also work in an industry
• 32:30
  that's very male dominated. So this piece of being able to
• 32:34
  show up and apologetic as yourself I think is really key
• 32:37
  here. I think you might have, I think
• 32:39
  you were going to say something right before that.
• 32:40
  So go ahead and say what you were going to say and then.
• 32:44
  I think, yeah, no, I sorry, no, I, I, I think one of the other
• 32:49
  sort of things too is so, so sometimes when we go out to
• 32:53
  these community events, whatever they may be, networking or
• 32:56
  otherwise, and you know, let's say you only get a chance to
• 33:00
  talk to a couple people. Maybe you were there to network
• 33:03
  and pass out business cards and maybe you don't necessarily get,
• 33:06
  you know, the opportunity to do that or maybe like the turn out
• 33:08
  slow or something like that. Yeah.
• 33:10
  And I'm not sure what clicked with me a really long time ago,
• 33:16
  but I always went into those situations and and tried to find
• 33:22
  the opportunity in in the situation, right.
• 33:25
  So I go to an organization's event, maybe there's not a lot
• 33:28
  of turn out. What's sort of driving that?
• 33:31
  Where can I maybe step in and help?
• 33:33
  Or, you know, who did I have a chance to talk to?
• 33:38
  Maybe, you know, the, the event coordinators or the chairs of
• 33:42
  the board were there and I maybe I had a deeper conversation with
• 33:46
  them better than I would have had if there were hundreds of
• 33:50
  people there or something like that.
• 33:51
  And I think that's, that's something I really try to
• 33:55
  instill with my team because my, my team is significantly younger
• 33:58
  than me here in the office. I, I really try to install with
• 34:03
  them. Like, you know, if, if you sit
• 34:05
  on, on a webinar or you sit on a lecture or you know, you got,
• 34:08
  you got to go to a class that has nothing to do with your
• 34:11
  major, finding the opportunity in that finding maybe one or two
• 34:18
  takeaways. If you sort of approach things
• 34:22
  in that manner, I guarantee people will walk away and learn
• 34:29
  something from any experience that they have.
• 34:31
  And I, I think I get it from now.
• 34:36
  I now I kind of know where I get it from, but I, I think I get it
• 34:39
  from the experience I had when working in my parents business
• 34:42
  and dreading it so much. And I look back on that, doing
• 34:47
  what I do now and I'm like, gosh, you know, that's where my
• 34:52
  customer service comes from. That's where my.
• 34:54
  Thoughts on this comes from. That's where you know me going
• 34:58
  over and beyond for a client. That's where it comes from.
• 35:01
  It's it's from those experiences, so.
• 35:04
  Yeah. Oh, that's good.
• 35:05
  I love that. OK, so, so back to so you are in
• 35:10
  a very male dominated industry. Yeah.
• 35:14
  Talk to me about the ability to show up and apologetically in
• 35:18
  that space. You've had some key men that
• 35:21
  have supported supported your journey, which I think is such
• 35:24
  an important part of, you know, it's like, yes, we women need
• 35:28
  each other and we need to support each other and be united
• 35:31
  voices. I talk about that all the time.
• 35:33
  It's also very important that we have some men along the way that
• 35:37
  are supporting this as well. And you've you've had that.
• 35:41
  So talk to me about that piece too.
• 35:44
  Yeah, just for maybe a little added context too.
• 35:47
  So you know, about a year before I graduated from Fresno State
• 35:51
  was when I got hired on at at portfolio advisors.
• 35:54
  Just kind of front office admin work.
• 35:56
  Broke college, didn't need a job, answered phones, filled out
• 35:59
  paperwork, etcetera. A friend referred me to my
• 36:03
  former bosses and and really the rest is history.
• 36:08
  I think so. So the gentleman that started
• 36:12
  the firm, his son took it over and then there was another
• 36:16
  gentleman here who was a lead advisor as well.
• 36:19
  So they kind of the three of them worked together for a
• 36:21
  really long time. And that's, you know, when I,
• 36:23
  when I kind of came into the fold along with the other sort
• 36:26
  of admin person at that time. And so it's, you know, it's 3
• 36:30
  males, you know, running the show, managing the client
• 36:34
  relationships, doing all this sort of, you know, high level
• 36:36
  advisory work. And I just, I think I just
• 36:41
  really took to the, the technical side of what we did,
• 36:46
  you know, hurting all the ropes. And I, I was able to sit in and
• 36:49
  observe things and ask questions and all that.
• 36:52
  And they never shut me down. And what they gave me a full
• 36:56
  time job with the, you know, opportunity to become an
• 37:00
  advisor. It just happened very
• 37:03
  organically. It wasn't like this people like
• 37:06
  parade of like, Oh my gosh, you're such an amazing female
• 37:09
  and blah, blah, blah. And it was just like, Tina, you
• 37:12
  do great work, you ask good questions, you're reliable,
• 37:15
  you're trustworthy. Here's an opportunity. the IT
• 37:18
  just they just sort of, it would just sort of plug and play.
• 37:21
  And they didn't make this huge big deal about it, but they also
• 37:25
  didn't underestimate me either. And I think it was just sort of
• 37:30
  like this, this this person who happens to be a woman has got
• 37:35
  it. She, she knows what she's doing
• 37:37
  and she's really good at it. And we don't want to lose her.
• 37:39
  And they valued me. I think, you know, telling me
• 37:43
  that I did good work and, and showed how much they valued me
• 37:47
  was a huge piece of that. And they just never shield away
• 37:51
  from stuff like that. And I think, you know, they made
• 37:54
  great sort of examples of like how to serve clients and how to
• 37:58
  be there for them and, and all those things that you need to
• 38:01
  have as a good, you know, good traits of being an advisor.
• 38:04
  But just from like a mentoring standpoint.
• 38:06
  It was just like, I think I've told you this before.
• 38:09
  They never told me no, they never doubted me.
• 38:13
  They just sort of said, OK, well, if you want to try it, try
• 38:16
  it. Ask me, you know, let me know if
• 38:18
  you have questions or, you know, here's kind of generally some
• 38:22
  career path things that you need to be aware of.
• 38:25
  Oh, hey, there's this really interesting, you know, article I
• 38:29
  read or, you know, webinar or whatever it is this really great
• 38:33
  resource. Tina, I think you should, you
• 38:35
  know, you know, listen to this or read this.
• 38:38
  They just always brought me in the fold.
• 38:40
  And like I said, they just never made a big deal out of it.
• 38:43
  But yeah, it was just sort of how it sort of transpired and
• 38:50
  and I just, I think like male counterparts in this industry
• 38:54
  just need to do more of that. You know, I've, yeah, I've not
• 38:57
  to digress here, but I've interviewed, you know, several
• 39:00
  females now as an owner of a firm and when we're hiring and
• 39:04
  stuff, I've interviewed several females and the stories they
• 39:07
  tell me about their male counterparts and why they're
• 39:10
  leaving the firms that they're leaving, I'm just like, how dare
• 39:12
  they speak to these women like that?
• 39:14
  But it's just, it's just shocking.
• 39:17
  And that was just never my experience.
• 39:19
  So I feel very, very fortunate, of course.
• 39:22
  But yeah, it's it's just so important for for basically just
• 39:28
  to be treated like an equal counterpart.
• 39:30
  Yeah, I love that example you laid out because it's exactly
• 39:33
  what you said. This is how it should be.
• 39:36
  You were capable, you were hard working, you were smart.
• 39:40
  You showed up and they and they and they were like honored that
• 39:44
  period, period. And and and that, you know, it's
• 39:48
  just like, man, that should not be the exception.
• 39:51
  That should be the rule. And if we could get to a place
• 39:56
  where that's the rule, that it's going to change a lot of things
• 39:59
  for people. And it's also going to change
• 40:01
  the trajectory of women feeling like there's a place for them in
• 40:05
  these industries because so much of our work, you know, going
• 40:08
  back to our GAL work, is preparing these women.
• 40:13
  Primarily, it can be, it can be anybody can get involved with
• 40:16
  this, but mostly women that we're dealing with to go out in
• 40:21
  the world confidently, to go out in the world feeling like they
• 40:25
  belong, to have a voice to be seen and to be heard.
• 40:28
  So regardless of whatever they run into, they're not going to
• 40:32
  be derailed when you know, if that situation comes up or maybe
• 40:37
  they need to speak up for themselves or need to make sure
• 40:39
  they're not interrupted and make sure they're valued, that
• 40:42
  they've got the framework they need to go out and do that.
• 40:47
  But if we could create a more experiences like the one you're
• 40:50
  talking about, yes, we still absolutely want to prepare them
• 40:53
  because life happens and Co workers and bosses can be tricky
• 40:58
  on both male or female. I mean, right, but but you, you
• 41:03
  take away significant challenge when you have the experience you
• 41:06
  had. Yeah, yeah.
• 41:08
  I think, you know, just just going back to the the GAL
• 41:13
  program a little bit. You know, I remember the
• 41:17
  leadership of the Business School sharing with me.
• 41:20
  I don't know if it was a study at the Business School or just a
• 41:22
  study across, you know, colleges nationwide.
• 41:25
  But you know, females are not going after the jobs that they
• 41:29
  think that they're very interested in, but they don't
• 41:33
  think that they're capable of because they don't meet, you
• 41:35
  know, all the expectations or the whatever the job criteria
• 41:38
  was. Or they just sort of felt, oh,
• 41:41
  no, that's, that's too much above what I'm able to do.
• 41:46
  And I just I remember sitting there scratching my head
• 41:48
  thinking like, I didn't feel that way.
• 41:52
  Yeah, Yeah, I didn't feel that way going into becoming an
• 41:56
  advisor, even though like I didn't know any better.
• 41:59
  First of all, that it was such a male dominated industry.
• 42:02
  I just like, OK, well, this is the office that I'm in.
• 42:04
  Great. You know, no harm to foul.
• 42:06
  But. But once I started going to
• 42:08
  conferences and stuff, I was like, oh, this is interesting.
• 42:10
  You know, I'm, you know, maybe very few female, even fewer of
• 42:15
  color. So that would you've.
• 42:17
  Got Yeah, you've got all those layers packed right here.
• 42:21
  Yeah, so I remember thinking, I remember when I when I heard the
• 42:26
  talk about the GAL program, what was sort of the impetus for
• 42:29
  starting that. And I just remember thinking
• 42:31
  like, gosh, that's not my experience.
• 42:34
  And and I was just like nobody, I never felt that way.
• 42:39
  And again, it has a lot to do with the environment I came
• 42:42
  from, you know, and, and those male counterparts of mine
• 42:46
  basically just having that confidence and not doubting me.
• 42:50
  Yeah. So so yeah, yeah.
• 42:52
  And, and I think with the GAL program too, you know, just
• 42:58
  really instilling that confidence or, or, you know,
• 43:01
  showing really great examples of females who are in these various
• 43:07
  leadership positions and, and just really shooting for the
• 43:10
  moon. And, you know, I know over the
• 43:12
  last year of being involved, even just, you know, recently
• 43:16
  with the end of year event, you know, I find inspiration in some
• 43:22
  of those leaders and, and what not too.
• 43:24
  And it just reassures me that, you know, I'm doing the right
• 43:27
  things as well. So, so yeah, it's a wonderful,
• 43:31
  wonderful program. I'm I'm so glad they have it.
• 43:34
  And like, like I said, I feel very fortunate that that has not
• 43:38
  been my experience, but I definitely recognize in talking
• 43:42
  with others that that is unfortunately what they
• 43:44
  experience. So.
• 43:45
  Yeah, yeah, absolutely. All right, the importance of
• 43:50
  setting and coming back to your why and your values, this is a
• 43:54
  big piece for you. So talk to me about how this
• 43:57
  plays into how you're engaged in the world.
• 44:01
  Today, yeah, this. So I, I hopefully I don't
• 44:05
  overstay my or overstay my welcome here, but this has been
• 44:11
  something I've really focused on in the last few years and, and
• 44:14
  really kind of had a little bit of evolution around it.
• 44:17
  So let me just kind of go back a little bit and, and share.
• 44:21
  So you've probably heard of Simon Sinek's start with Y Yeah,
• 44:26
  wonderful book. Yeah.
• 44:28
  A few years ago I was feeling stuck.
• 44:32
  I had made a very expensive business decision that did not
• 44:39
  go my way. We'll go in the details, but
• 44:43
  let's just say it was not my proudest moment.
• 44:46
  And I felt like I had done all of the research and analysis on
• 44:53
  it was a it was a change in technology we were making in the
• 44:56
  office. And I felt like I'd done my due
• 44:58
  diligence. And then several months into the
• 45:02
  process, the entire thing blows up and I have to pay a lot of
• 45:05
  money to get out of contracts and, and all that kind of stuff.
• 45:08
  And and it was all very doable, but and I was just like, Oh my
• 45:14
  God, like, what am I doing here? Like I just it just made me just
• 45:18
  question everything, right? Yeah, so Shakes.
• 45:21
  Your confidence when those things happen A. 100% And I just
• 45:25
  really kept asking myself like, why am I doing this?
• 45:28
  Why am I doing this? Why am I putting myself through
• 45:30
  this? And then I picked up Simon
• 45:32
  Sinek's book, fantastic book, great examples.
• 45:37
  And then I was like, OK, so if I'm going to do this, I need to
• 45:40
  come up with my why statement. So I read find your why, which
• 45:43
  is the actual activity of putting together a why
• 45:46
  statement, the questions that it asks you.
• 45:51
  I even did like the online workshop and stuff too.
• 45:53
  So it was. My daughter's dope are way into
• 45:57
  this in an internship a few years ago and it was really,
• 46:00
  really incredible. Yeah.
• 46:02
  And I, you know, the other thing too that I was thinking is like,
• 46:05
  you know, if I'm going to build this firm and get the investment
• 46:10
  of my team members and, and, you know, really try to shoot for
• 46:14
  the moon with the business, I used to find it very cliche.
• 46:19
  Oh, you got to have a wise day. You got to have values, mission
• 46:22
  and all that guys, blah, blah, blah, you know, blah, blah,
• 46:24
  blah, right. And then when I finally did it,
• 46:26
  I was just like, Oh, I get it now.
• 46:30
  And the questions that find your why sort of takes you through.
• 46:34
  And I know you, you probably do this, you know, with, with the
• 46:37
  women you work with too. Yeah.
• 46:39
  But some of the questions that it asks you, you know, who were
• 46:43
  some really influential people in your lives?
• 46:46
  I think, you know, when did you feel like somebody was really
• 46:49
  there for you? When did you feel like somebody
• 46:51
  wasn't really there for you? Some of those questions that
• 46:53
  really I, I, I like to journal. So I, I drilled all the answers
• 46:57
  to these questions and, and then it forces you to find like an
• 47:01
  underlying theme and, and some of those stories and stuff that
• 47:04
  you've told. And my underlying lying theme
• 47:07
  was support, the word support. So I found even going back to
• 47:13
  like high school, I found examples of teachers that
• 47:17
  supported me. You know, I, I remember a
• 47:19
  teacher who helped a friend of mine win a state championship
• 47:24
  for a nerdy call, a nerdy club called Science Olympiad.
• 47:28
  And how important that that was like the center of our world at
• 47:31
  that point in time. And, and that particular teacher
• 47:35
  helped us do that. I think to the supportive nature
• 47:41
  of like my male counterparts that supported me here in my
• 47:46
  career. And then I even thought back to
• 47:50
  areas that I didn't feel supported about 10 years ago or
• 47:55
  so. My family and I, my parents
• 47:58
  specifically, went through some really tough Financial Times and
• 48:02
  I had to help them get out of that.
• 48:05
  And we were not supported by very many people.
• 48:09
  It was, it was 84 of us, including my brother.
• 48:13
  We had to figure it out and get through it.
• 48:15
  And the amount of judgment we felt from others, including
• 48:19
  their family members, was just tremendous.
• 48:22
  And so this this sort of idea of support in times where you felt
• 48:30
  it and times that you didn't and what those two things, you know,
• 48:34
  those two different opposites sort of felt like.
• 48:38
  And my wise statement is to support people in their best and
• 48:43
  worst moments. So everyone has someone looking
• 48:46
  out for their best interests. And it it really sort of again,
• 48:52
  going through that process of figuring out that why statement
• 48:55
  and something that I can verbally share with people or
• 48:59
  can verbalize and put into words why I do what I do has been
• 49:06
  really, really impactful. And then carrying on that story
• 49:11
  and I promise I'll wrap it up. No, this is great.
• 49:14
  This is so good. Carrying on that, going back to
• 49:18
  what I was feeling in the business, I said OK, now that I
• 49:21
  have my personal life statement, I now know why I'm a planner,
• 49:28
  why I'm a financial advisor because I want to be there for
• 49:32
  people. I want people to feel supported,
• 49:34
  and I know what happens when they don't, you know?
• 49:39
  Yeah, especially when it comes to money.
• 49:41
  Bad things happen when people don't have support, when they
• 49:44
  don't have resources, when they don't have that sounding port.
• 49:47
  So then what we did as a company is my colleague Aja lot of this
• 49:52
  really resonated with him. He read the book, he went
• 49:54
  through the find your why exercises and then we did this
• 49:58
  did this on the company level. So our our company why statement
• 50:03
  is enriching lives through transformative actions and that
• 50:08
  mission or that why statement, that company why statement came
• 50:12
  through, you know, not only my personal experiences, my
• 50:15
  colleagues personal experiences, the things we want to sort of
• 50:19
  live out in our day-to-day work and, and working as folks.
• 50:25
  It, it's a really big part of, you know, just our values and,
• 50:30
  and what we feel and what we put into our work every day.
• 50:34
  Well, and it really informs who you want to work with, how you
• 50:38
  want to work with them. When you're collaborating with
• 50:40
  other industries or groups, do they align with this?
• 50:44
  You know, it keeps you in alignment.
• 50:46
  It helps you set boundaries where you might need to set
• 50:49
  boundaries with certain folks. It helps you remind you of why
• 50:52
  you show up day in and day out. You've got those affirmations on
• 50:56
  the wall. You've got that firm why and
• 50:58
  those set of values to guide you.
• 51:00
  It's such a key component and I love the transferability of your
• 51:05
  why between your personal life because you were able to make
• 51:08
  that connection. And I tell women all the time,
• 51:11
  if your why and your values are not aligned with your work, you
• 51:15
  will feel an angst. You will feel out of sorts.
• 51:19
  And until you make a correction there, you're going to continue
• 51:23
  to feel that your body is there to let you know something's out
• 51:28
  of balance here. And these really help us keep
• 51:31
  that in alignment. And also if if you start feeling
• 51:35
  out of alignment, sometimes you got to re look at that why in
• 51:40
  values every so often to make sure there doesn't need to be
• 51:44
  addendum items. OK, what's changed as you go
• 51:47
  through different seasons? But having that and examining it
• 51:50
  and making sure everything matches up with that, that's a
• 51:53
  key part of health and Wellness. Exactly.
• 51:57
  Exactly. Yeah.
• 51:58
  And I think, you know, going back to when I was sort of
• 52:07
  feeling a little lost in the business in terms of just again,
• 52:10
  like, why am I putting myself through all this torture and,
• 52:14
  and decisions and, you know, time consuming exercises and,
• 52:19
  and all of it. And now when, when I have a bad
• 52:25
  day, you know, tough conversation with a client or
• 52:28
  you know, that sort of thing, it, it, it just centers me, it,
• 52:34
  it centers me, it, you know, everything.
• 52:37
  You know what I'm trying to make a decision around whether or not
• 52:39
  I want to get involved in something or not or, or read
• 52:42
  something or not or whatever it is.
• 52:45
  You know, you can ask yourself if, if it is a line in alignment
• 52:48
  like you said. And it and it really helped her
• 52:50
  filter out sort of the things that really maybe don't benefit
• 52:55
  you or or have no value to you versus the ones that really do
• 52:58
  and that will will sort of help you and enrich your life.
• 53:02
  So, yeah, yeah. Thank you for that.
• 53:05
  That was so good. I appreciate that so much.
• 53:08
  All right, living out of your own expectations versus others.
• 53:12
  You and I talked about this a little bit before it came up a
• 53:15
  little on the panel, the generational differences,
• 53:18
  conversations you've had to have with your mom and your family
• 53:22
  about the way doing things versus the way they've done
• 53:26
  things. I mean, we laughed the other day
• 53:29
  when we were at an event and you let us know that there was a
• 53:32
  food item there that was like, I know this is good at this place
• 53:36
  because my mom makes it and it's awesome, but I don't make it
• 53:40
  myself. But I told her to go to get
• 53:43
  something that's really close. And I thought like, Oh my gosh,
• 53:48
  that's hilarious. So so but you ask, but you're
• 53:51
  also, you're to this day, I mean, you're one, you're someone
• 53:53
  that really carries yourself. Be very clear on those.
• 53:56
  But you've had to communicate those to people as well.
• 53:59
  So talk to me about that. Journey yeah so yeah I mean my
• 54:05
  mom is everything so I don't want to you know dismiss
• 54:08
  everything that she absolutely or just generational differences
• 54:13
  exactly yeah and we we definitely I think any mother
• 54:17
  daughter sort of at some point starts you know you know butting
• 54:23
  heads a little bit at some point yeah so yeah so I think we
• 54:27
  really recognize that in our relationship.
• 54:29
  But yeah you know like you know like I talked about in town a
• 54:35
  little bit of like cleaning your own home right and you know I
• 54:39
  just don't have the time for it and and it's not that I don't
• 54:43
  want to do it. It's by no means is it beneath
• 54:47
  me as a teenager, you know, I remember my brother and I
• 54:51
  cleaned the house from top to bottom because mom and dad said
• 54:54
  this is the weekend, do it. We didn't, you know, definitely
• 54:58
  have have rolled up my sleeves and gotten my hands dirty.
• 55:01
  But you know, you know, do I want to clean my house or want
• 55:05
  to spend time with my kids? You know, you know, thinking
• 55:07
  about those trade-offs, right. And yeah, I'd rather have
• 55:11
  somebody come in every other week, clean the house so I don't
• 55:15
  have to, and I have that much more time with the kids, or I
• 55:17
  have that much more time to go do something else, you know,
• 55:20
  that I enjoy or whatever. And yeah, it's just a
• 55:24
  generational thing. You know, my mom still cleans
• 55:27
  her house top to bottom, and she's exhausted.
• 55:31
  And she's like, oh, it's taking me all day to do it.
• 55:32
  I'm like, mom, why do you do that?
• 55:34
  Why? Do you do?
• 55:35
  That was a choice. Yeah, Or, you know, you know,
• 55:41
  even like, you know, in, in Indian culture, you know, a lot
• 55:44
  of our sort of culture, you know, rolls around food.
• 55:47
  And Melissa, you don't want me anywhere near a kitchen.
• 55:50
  Like I can't cook like bird water.
• 55:55
  Like you don't want any. You know, my husband, like even
• 55:58
  when I try to go in and like try to help a little bit, he's like,
• 56:00
  no, just get out of the kitchen. Like, no, just I don't want you
• 56:03
  learning what I'm doing. But, you know, my mom and her
• 56:08
  generation, you know, my mom tells me about how she learned
• 56:13
  how to cook from her mother-in-law, how she learned
• 56:16
  how to cook from her mom, you know, before she moved away and
• 56:18
  stuff. I have relatives, you know, who
• 56:23
  asked me, do you know how to cook yet?
• 56:24
  Like, you know, that's just sort of been an ongoing conversation
• 56:27
  for the last 20 years. And the answer is still the
• 56:30
  same. No, I don't know how to cook.
• 56:32
  But one, I have a husband who takes really good care of me.
• 56:35
  And two, I have a mother and a mother-in-law who are a
• 56:38
  fantastic cook. So I do not go hungry.
• 56:41
  So. So yeah, it's just sort of like
• 56:43
  those traditional expectations that I just, it is what it is.
• 56:49
  I'm, I'm a completely different human and, you know, generally
• 56:53
  speaking, I think I'm a good person.
• 56:57
  And that's that, that I think that's what means more in life
• 57:00
  as opposed to knowing how to cook.
• 57:02
  Yeah, I would love, I mean, I wish my husband was a
• 57:05
  professional chef. I know friends who married
• 57:07
  professional chefs. And I'm just like, oh, you guys
• 57:09
  got it right. So, yeah, I, you know, I think
• 57:15
  I've just let a lot of that stuff kind of go.
• 57:17
  And then, you know, the other thing I was reminded of last
• 57:20
  week at the At the Gal event was the keynote speaker talked about
• 57:25
  how, you know, she was, she's a physician and growing up, her
• 57:30
  grandmother told her, well, you'll never be a physician or
• 57:32
  you're going to go to medical school.
• 57:34
  And it was, she probably said that she didn't say that to be
• 57:38
  mean to her granddaughter. She probably said it because in
• 57:41
  her lifetime, in her generation, she never saw a female doctor.
• 57:45
  Exactly. And, and that really reminded me
• 57:48
  that really, really hit home with me because I was just like,
• 57:51
  my mom's never seen her mom go out in the workforce.
• 57:57
  Her mom or her grandmother for that matter, own their own
• 58:00
  business, managed like bajillion things like kids and a career
• 58:05
  and a spouse and all that. She's never seen that.
• 58:08
  Yeah. My grandparents, you know, never
• 58:11
  saw that. My uncles and aunts around the
• 58:15
  world have not seen that. So it's a, it is a very boring
• 58:19
  concept to them. They're really, they're not
• 58:20
  trying to be me and they're not trying to be really.
• 58:24
  So. Yeah.
• 58:25
  Yeah, I think those are those are just sort of things that
• 58:30
  have stuck with me. And and like I said, I think
• 58:32
  I've just kind of come to the point in life where I'm just let
• 58:34
  it go. Yeah, yeah.
• 58:37
  I I wanted to go back to what you said, though.
• 58:40
  You hadn't seen that. They hadn't seen that.
• 58:42
  So how do you think you got here then?
• 58:45
  What allowed you to step into this space in a it you know as
• 58:50
  being the first generation of a woman to do this?
• 58:55
  Yeah, so you know, my parents Co own their their own business
• 59:00
  growing up. So again, I I learned a lot from
• 59:02
  that. Learned what to do as well as
• 59:03
  what not to do Sure, but you know, I think what I'll say is
• 59:10
  that when I was in like grade school, it's very, very
• 59:14
  competitive. Clovis Unified is a very, very
• 59:17
  competitive school district. And I kind of jumped into this
• 59:21
  environment because we moved here when I was like 10 years
• 59:24
  old. So I into the school system
• 59:27
  pretty early on. Okay.
• 59:28
  But like everything just was about grades and it was just a
• 59:33
  very competitive environment. I felt it walking into school
• 59:36
  every day. I felt it through conversations
• 59:39
  from kids and I just sort of felt like, Oh my God, like I've
• 59:43
  got to get involved in this sport or this activity and all
• 59:46
  that if I want to go to college and have a good career and do
• 59:49
  all these things. It was just sort of the
• 59:51
  environment that I was in, which was very, very different than
• 59:55
  maybe home life or otherwise. And it's not to say my parents.
• 1:00:00
  I've always valued education, have always valued, you know,
• 1:00:05
  growth and going to college and all those things.
• 1:00:08
  But this whole idea of like having a career of my own and
• 1:00:14
  doing all these things like they never have done in their
• 1:00:17
  lifetimes, yeah, was a really different concept for them.
• 1:00:22
  And and again, I think it was just out of, to a certain
• 1:00:25
  degree, it was almost out of necessity, Melissa.
• 1:00:27
  I mean, I, I just sort of felt like if I'm going to compete in
• 1:00:32
  this competitive school environment, like I got to do
• 1:00:35
  stuff and I got to get active and I got to try all these
• 1:00:38
  things and and then maybe I'll have a shot at going to college
• 1:00:40
  or something. So I think a lot of it came from
• 1:00:43
  that. I will have to say, I think both
• 1:00:48
  of my grandfathers were very entrepreneurial.
• 1:00:51
  So I think it is genetic. Yeah, for sure.
• 1:00:54
  Yeah. There's something there.
• 1:00:56
  There's something there to know. So yeah, yeah, that that's a
• 1:01:01
  tough, that's a tough one to answer in terms of where exactly
• 1:01:04
  it came from. But I I would suspect that had
• 1:01:06
  something to do with it too. So.
• 1:01:08
  Yeah, yeah, I agree because I think a lot of people I know for
• 1:01:12
  me and I'm, you know, I'm 15 years older than you.
• 1:01:15
  So but for me, even I was the first college graduate in my
• 1:01:19
  family, you know, and so there's always got to be that one.
• 1:01:22
  That's the first one to kind of go out and do it.
• 1:01:24
  But I also want to, you know, speak to what you said and what
• 1:01:28
  we heard last week from doctor campaign is you, you be it's
• 1:01:33
  really important for women and girls to see somebody looks like
• 1:01:39
  them succeeding and being in these spaces and places so that
• 1:01:44
  they it's possible because so much of you know of what what
• 1:01:49
  you know, Danielle talked about and also you're talking about
• 1:01:52
  it's they've never seen it. So they had no reference point,
• 1:01:57
  but it also was a motivator of like, okay, but it also goes
• 1:02:01
  back to the importance again of us women, women supporting each
• 1:02:05
  other, us knowing what our expectations are and
• 1:02:08
  communicating those clearly so that we can become those women
• 1:02:13
  that are seen and generations behind us have confidence.
• 1:02:16
  They're like, oh, but that's possible.
• 1:02:18
  I she's doing it. That's.
• 1:02:19
  Attainable. Yeah.
• 1:02:21
  And I think, you know, the other thing too is, you know, I, I
• 1:02:26
  definitely feel like I get my mom's stubbornness.
• 1:02:30
  You know her, it's her greatest weakness and her greatest
• 1:02:32
  strength. I think I get it from that too,
• 1:02:38
  even though she has seen those examples.
• 1:02:41
  But also like nobody's going to tell her otherwise on any
• 1:02:46
  particular topic, right? I feel I feel the same way.
• 1:02:50
  I feel the same way with my career and my career path.
• 1:02:53
  Like once I sort of figured out like this was the direction I
• 1:02:57
  wanted to go and nobody was going to tell me otherwise.
• 1:03:00
  I didn't care who you were. I was going to figure this out
• 1:03:04
  and, and move forward and, you know, do what I wanted to do
• 1:03:08
  from a career standpoint. So yeah.
• 1:03:11
  So sometimes it's just like innate stubbornness that sort of
• 1:03:15
  as well, you're just going to figure this out.
• 1:03:18
  And, you know, if this is truly what you want to do.
• 1:03:21
  Yeah. You just roll up your sleeves
• 1:03:22
  and and figure it out. Get it done so.
• 1:03:24
  Yeah, yeah. Thank you for that.
• 1:03:26
  All right, accepting the layered aspects of ourselves, all the
• 1:03:30
  parts and pieces that make up our journeys.
• 1:03:33
  Some we love, some we don't, but I'm very, very committed to the
• 1:03:39
  idea that this isn't a very important part of us knowing our
• 1:03:42
  value, getting curious rather than judgmental so that we will
• 1:03:48
  prioritize ourselves so we will see the need and and clear the
• 1:03:51
  way for that. Talk to me about your layers
• 1:03:54
  journey. Yeah.
• 1:03:56
  You know, I think obviously life is full of ups and downs and I
• 1:04:04
  think looking at almost looking at those experiences equally and
• 1:04:10
  you know they always people always say, well, you're going
• 1:04:12
  to learn a lot from your mistakes or a lot from sort of
• 1:04:15
  those down periods then you will the good ones.
• 1:04:17
  But I think, again, looking at those different experiences and
• 1:04:21
  trying to pull something from positive from every single one
• 1:04:25
  of them, I think helps you sort of build those layers.
• 1:04:30
  Good ones, good ones. You know, I think back to, you
• 1:04:37
  know, I, I mentioned a little bit of during my Y, during the Y
• 1:04:42
  sort of discussion about some of the stuff my parents and I went
• 1:04:46
  through. Yeah.
• 1:04:47
  And I feel like, gosh, you know, I was so embarrassed.
• 1:04:52
  I didn't even tell anybody at work.
• 1:04:54
  I, you know, I was just very sort of kind of kept to myself
• 1:04:58
  and when I felt like I needed advice or needed to pick
• 1:05:01
  somebody's brain, you know, I just sort of maybe asked them,
• 1:05:03
  but I didn't even like explain why or anything like that.
• 1:05:07
  But I feel like, you know, experiences like that made me a
• 1:05:11
  better advisor, made me a better person.
• 1:05:15
  I think, you know, I, I even sort of look at it from the
• 1:05:18
  perspective of like when I first started my career, it was, it
• 1:05:26
  was 2006 when I was hired, 2007 was the top of the stock market.
• 1:05:32
  And then the Great Recession happened.
• 1:05:33
  Oh my gosh. And.
• 1:05:35
  I mean the market. Yeah, I remember like it was
• 1:05:38
  yesterday, the bottom of the market was March of O 9 and then
• 1:05:42
  everything kind of took off after that.
• 1:05:44
  And it's experiences like that, you know, from a professional
• 1:05:49
  standpoint that I learned a heck of a lot from, you know, in
• 1:05:55
  terms of just being there for clients.
• 1:05:57
  I, I tell my team all the time about the experience that I had
• 1:06:01
  with a client called me wasn't even my client at the time.
• 1:06:04
  She was, I was just sort of, I wasn't even an advisor at the
• 1:06:07
  time. And she just called and yelled
• 1:06:09
  at me and was upset about losing money in the markets.
• 1:06:13
  And I was just like, I, I, I'm really sorry.
• 1:06:15
  Like, you know, I'm happy to put you in touch with your advisor.
• 1:06:19
  Like I just sort of was trying to talk to her and, and calm her
• 1:06:22
  down. Those, those experiences have
• 1:06:27
  made me a lot better of an advisor.
• 1:06:28
  I I think I would have rather gone through, looking back, of
• 1:06:32
  course it's tough, but I would have rather gone through an
• 1:06:35
  experience like that first at the very beginning of my career
• 1:06:39
  because it's really fun what I was made of and really showed me
• 1:06:43
  some really good examples through the advisors I was
• 1:06:45
  working with, how they were there for their clients, how
• 1:06:48
  they helped them stay put, how they helped them ride through
• 1:06:51
  the market turmoil or just the tough stuff.
• 1:06:54
  Yeah. And that that, I mean, you know,
• 1:06:58
  talk about, you know, layers, building a thick skin in this
• 1:07:02
  industry is, is super important and it really helped me do that.
• 1:07:06
  But then also, you know, gosh, just, you know, obviously in the
• 1:07:10
  last few weeks in the market and whatnot, it's been really tough.
• 1:07:14
  And I'm, I'm constantly reminded that this is, this is, these are
• 1:07:20
  the times that my clients need me the most.
• 1:07:23
  This is the time where I can show my value and expertise and
• 1:07:26
  really support people. And, and again, going back to
• 1:07:30
  that lie statement, living out that lie of, of supporting
• 1:07:33
  people in good times and in bad. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:07:37
  It, it's, it's, you know, not to sound cliche, but it's, it's
• 1:07:40
  really about those experiences that just just really add to, to
• 1:07:46
  how you can do your work even better.
• 1:07:49
  Yeah, you know, you know, going forward so.
• 1:07:53
  Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you for that.
• 1:07:55
  So good. All right, in summary, living
• 1:07:58
  out feel, finding empowerment, embracing layers which you
• 1:08:02
  really do you really walk that out well.
• 1:08:05
  Talk to me about the impact that has had on your relationship
• 1:08:08
  with yourself as well as your relationship with other.
• 1:08:11
  People, yeah, I think with myself, I'll start maybe there
• 1:08:17
  just giving myself more latitude and grace and not being so hard
• 1:08:23
  on myself. I definitely remember in my 20s
• 1:08:26
  and even in my teens how hard on myself I was just to get the
• 1:08:30
  perfect grade or the perfect this or the perfect that.
• 1:08:33
  So I think I've just based, like I said, I've just kind of let it
• 1:08:36
  go. I'm not perfect and I'm going to
• 1:08:38
  make mistakes, but I'm a lot wiser now and know how to maybe
• 1:08:42
  navigate some of that a lot better.
• 1:08:46
  I have more equipment in the form of life experience now we
• 1:08:51
  need some of that. So, so, yeah, that, that maybe
• 1:08:53
  from a personal standpoint, you know, from, from other, you
• 1:08:57
  know, in terms of other relationships, you know, I, I
• 1:09:01
  think again, you know, some of the things that I talked to my
• 1:09:04
  parents about or, you know, you know, elderly people and, you
• 1:09:08
  know, in my family and stuff. And, and I've just, I've learned
• 1:09:10
  to let a lot of that stuff go. It's, it's, you know, like you
• 1:09:13
  said, you'd talk it up to generational experiences.
• 1:09:16
  And, and I, I think people genuinely don't mean to be
• 1:09:21
  malicious in anything they say. I, I try to come from it from
• 1:09:25
  that positive angle. It's sort of look at it through
• 1:09:29
  their lens a little bit more. I'm, I'm a lot more cognizant of
• 1:09:33
  that now than I used to be in my 20s where, yeah, maybe I was a
• 1:09:37
  little bit more stubborn and I kind of thought I knew
• 1:09:40
  everything. I've, I've taken more of when
• 1:09:44
  it, when it comes to relationships with others,
• 1:09:47
  whether you get along with others or not, really just
• 1:09:50
  looking at it through their lens.
• 1:09:53
  You know, we talked about at the panel that, you know, as much as
• 1:09:57
  we think it's written on our face, our spouse doesn't know
• 1:10:01
  what we're thinking. It's so true.
• 1:10:04
  It's so true. And, and you know, I, I, what
• 1:10:09
  I'll say is that with, with my spouse, you know, we're not
• 1:10:13
  perfect. And if anyone ever says they
• 1:10:16
  have a perfect relationship, they're totally lying.
• 1:10:18
  But, you know, I, I think I try to pick my battles right.
• 1:10:24
  You know, if it's top on the toothpaste wasn't put on
• 1:10:27
  properly, just let it go. But if it's something bigger
• 1:10:32
  than that, yeah, we need to sit down and talk about it, you
• 1:10:34
  know, and just be more open about that, being more open to
• 1:10:39
  just talk and get the feelings out there.
• 1:10:42
  I think it's something that I've really, really learned, you
• 1:10:46
  know, over time and just kind of through some of my relationships
• 1:10:48
  too, and just just being more open to talking about stuff,
• 1:10:52
  yeah. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:10:53
  Communication is such a key component because if you don't
• 1:10:56
  have communication, that's where the assumptions come in.
• 1:10:59
  And guessing and imposing things and treating thoughts that are
• 1:11:04
  truth that aren't, I mean, it just leads you down all kinds of
• 1:11:06
  roads of no good. And, and, and I think we
• 1:11:10
  underestimate the power of a simple like take 5 minutes to
• 1:11:13
  have a conversation and save yourself a lot of trouble.
• 1:11:16
  Yeah, absolutely. I think, I think going back to
• 1:11:19
  what I said earlier about especially in my line of work,
• 1:11:23
  just having this sort of no judgement zone when folks walk
• 1:11:26
  in, I'm, I will, I will tell my 20 year old self like I was so
• 1:11:33
  judge mental. I don't know what I was
• 1:11:35
  thinking. Like, you know, again, you think
• 1:11:37
  you're invincible during that age and you know, even in your
• 1:11:40
  teens, you think you know everything.
• 1:11:45
  You know, you judge, you judge success differently, you judge
• 1:11:50
  people's professions differently.
• 1:11:52
  The whole just sort of world view is so different than it is
• 1:11:56
  now. And I think going into a lot of
• 1:12:00
  relationships, just I catch myself sometimes if I, if I do
• 1:12:04
  feel like I'm being judgmental, catching yourself and just sort
• 1:12:07
  of say no, that they just have a different way of looking at
• 1:12:10
  things and taking the judgment out of it.
• 1:12:14
  I think it's something else that I try to bring in that aspect of
• 1:12:18
  relationships. Yeah, that's really good.
• 1:12:21
  Yeah. That's something I've really had
• 1:12:22
  to work on to. I like, I keep going back to, I
• 1:12:25
  talked about earlier, curious rather than judgmental, get
• 1:12:28
  curious rather than judgmental. And because curiosity and
• 1:12:32
  judgment cannot coexist together.
• 1:12:34
  And so that's become a really important piece for me to
• 1:12:38
  implement. That's a great point.
• 1:12:41
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, we are down to the
• 1:12:44
  rapid fire, my friend. Name 5 activities.
• 1:12:48
  Name 5 activities that nourish you.
• 1:12:52
  Let's see here. I love to play tennis.
• 1:12:55
  I haven't played for a while, but I love to play tennis or do
• 1:12:58
  something competitive so that that actually nourishes me.
• 1:13:03
  I love to listen to music. I do love to read.
• 1:13:07
  I read a lot of business books, but again, I just, I'm just so
• 1:13:11
  curious about how to run business and what I do.
• 1:13:15
  So it just really feeds my curiosity and that need to
• 1:13:18
  learn. I love watching comedy clips.
• 1:13:22
  I, I will refrain from sharing the things that I watch, but I
• 1:13:27
  love watching comedy clips. Just just makes my, it makes my
• 1:13:31
  lunch hour. It just makes me feel just a
• 1:13:33
  little bit happier. And then holding my kids and
• 1:13:38
  group hugs. We do group hugs at home also
• 1:13:41
  five of us, if you include the dog.
• 1:13:42
  So that's, that's been a fun thing.
• 1:13:44
  But why my 2 year old? She, you know, anytime we just
• 1:13:47
  hug each other, she says group hug and then whoever's nearby
• 1:13:51
  comes comes through so that, that's always fun.
• 1:13:54
  Yeah. I love that.
• 1:13:55
  That brings back a memory. We used to do that when the
• 1:13:57
  girls were a little too and Brady met Brady.
• 1:13:59
  He was so big when they were literally, it just became this
• 1:14:02
  enveloping like thing where we have pictures of it and you can
• 1:14:06
  just see him and his arms and these little legs sticking out
• 1:14:10
  and it's so, Oh my gosh, that's so sweet.
• 1:14:13
  Oh, I love that so much. All right, 5 words on how you
• 1:14:16
  want to feel the next six months.
• 1:14:20
  I think I wrote down 6, but I'll maybe omit 1.
• 1:14:25
  Give it 6. You can give it 6.
• 1:14:27
  Yeah, I'll give you 6. I'll give you 6, impactful
• 1:14:31
  growth or progress. So those can be sort of
• 1:14:34
  synonymous, energized, healthier and fulfillment.
• 1:14:39
  I think we're the ones I came up with.
• 1:14:42
  I love that. Oh, so good.
• 1:14:43
  All right, Tell people how they can find you and follow you.
• 1:14:47
  And yes, this will all be on embracinglayers.com on our
• 1:14:51
  website, on the resources page, but let people know right now
• 1:14:54
  where that would be. Yeah, I'm, I'm pretty active on
• 1:14:58
  LinkedIn, so they can find me on my LinkedIn page.
• 1:15:02
  I think it's just at Tina Mystery, maybe the letter CFP
• 1:15:08
  after it, something like that. But I'm on LinkedIn, so they can
• 1:15:10
  find me. And then our company has a
• 1:15:13
  LinkedIn page to Portfolio Advisors Inc, so you can find us
• 1:15:17
  there too. And then on our website,
• 1:15:21
  portadvisors.com, which is short for portfolioadvisors.com, but
• 1:15:25
  it's Port advisors.com. Yeah, we have a lot of really
• 1:15:30
  great resources. We started webinars this year,
• 1:15:34
  so we have a really, really good webinars on obviously recent
• 1:15:39
  market activities and how to manage emotions and how to stay
• 1:15:43
  put. And then we've done some
• 1:15:45
  education around what people need to know when seeking
• 1:15:50
  financial advice so they don't get scammed as well as there's
• 1:15:53
  been some recent changes around Social Security.
• 1:15:55
  So really our pre retiree market that that's been really helpful
• 1:15:59
  to them. So yeah, we've got, hopefully
• 1:16:01
  we've got a podcast coming where we've got a lot of other
• 1:16:04
  marketing things in the works. But yeah, our website and
• 1:16:07
  LinkedIn are the best places to find me so.
• 1:16:10
  All right, well, when your podcast starts, we'll have to
• 1:16:12
  bring you back and let you and let you kick that off because
• 1:16:15
  it's what you do with those webinars is such great
• 1:16:18
  information. So we have listeners for all
• 1:16:21
  over the world. So tell me, how many of those
• 1:16:24
  people can you work with versus you refer after?
• 1:16:29
  Yeah, so. From a licensing standpoint,
• 1:16:33
  it's, it's helpful to know that I'm licensed throughout the US
• 1:16:37
  So I, I can practice across the US, I can really practice across
• 1:16:42
  the world. I just don't quote UN quote
• 1:16:44
  solicit business outside of the US.
• 1:16:47
  If they come home, great, that's fine.
• 1:16:50
  But so, so no harm, no foul there.
• 1:16:54
  OK, Yeah, I can work with people across the country and you know
• 1:16:59
  our key demographics are sort of fit into one of three
• 1:17:02
  categories, people who are retired, people who are five to
• 1:17:06
  seven years away from retiring, which I will say is our bread
• 1:17:09
  and butter. We are really good in that
• 1:17:11
  market. And then something I like to
• 1:17:13
  call mid career professionals who are maybe just starting out
• 1:17:18
  or just kind of got that first six figure job, starting a
• 1:17:20
  family, have all these sort of dynamics.
• 1:17:24
  We're really good at helping those three and three folks.
• 1:17:27
  And what I'll also add to Melissa is that, you know, our
• 1:17:31
  company is celebrating 35 years of being in business this year.
• 1:17:35
  So we're super excited about that.
• 1:17:38
  And because we've been around for so long, we're already
• 1:17:44
  working with the 3rd or 4th generations of some of the
• 1:17:46
  families that we originally started serving in the early
• 1:17:50
  90s. So that's why, you know, we kind
• 1:17:53
  of work with those three different sort of demographics
• 1:17:57
  because it's just sort of been a natural sort of flow of the
• 1:18:00
  family, I guess. You're working with the parents
• 1:18:03
  here and you're working with their kids here as they get that
• 1:18:06
  first, you know, job and they're planning their family and
• 1:18:09
  college funds and retirement and all those things.
• 1:18:12
  I love that. Yeah.
• 1:18:13
  I mean, I just, you know, I just feel very fortunate to be in
• 1:18:17
  this line of work where I can help people in some fashion.
• 1:18:21
  You know, some of my, as tough as some of the conversations can
• 1:18:25
  be, you know, some of my favorite more positive
• 1:18:28
  conversations are, you know, when I have that conversation
• 1:18:31
  with folks and I can tell them they can retire, you know,
• 1:18:34
  they've, they've done everything that they can and, you know,
• 1:18:37
  hey, you know, go, go quit your job.
• 1:18:43
  Yeah. Like, you know, go for it.
• 1:18:45
  Like, you know, start planning that trip or, you know, I, I
• 1:18:49
  often hear about, you know, kids getting into college or
• 1:18:52
  graduating college. And those are fun conversations.
• 1:18:57
  So yeah, I, I think I just feel very fortunate to be a part of
• 1:19:00
  those different life events because.
• 1:19:02
  Yeah, you know, we, we like to work with people for a really
• 1:19:06
  long time. I I like to be working with the
• 1:19:08
  kids and their grandkids eventually and introduce them
• 1:19:11
  and, and help educate them along the way.
• 1:19:13
  We really do come up from a place of education.
• 1:19:16
  So yeah, it's not transactional for us.
• 1:19:18
  It's all about the relationships.
• 1:19:20
  And yeah, like I said, I just feel very, very fortunate to to
• 1:19:24
  be able to do what I can do. So yeah.
• 1:19:27
  I love it. I love what you do and how you
• 1:19:29
  do it because this is an industry you and I've talked
• 1:19:32
  about this before that there can be, there are some bad actors
• 1:19:36
  and you all are such the opposite of that.
• 1:19:39
  You're, you're such a breath of fresh air and how you approach
• 1:19:42
  this. So ladies, if you're listening
• 1:19:44
  to this and this is, these are resources you need, go to
• 1:19:48
  embracinglayers.com. Have a conversation with Tina
• 1:19:52
  AJ. Her partner's fantastic too.
• 1:19:55
  They're both great, they're there to hear, they're they're
• 1:19:58
  here to support you in this. But take take care of that
• 1:20:02
  financial health piece that you're that is a part of your
• 1:20:06
  self-care. So make sure you understand
• 1:20:10
  what's happening there. And it may even if you split
• 1:20:13
  stuff like Brady and I split things, but he but he and I know
• 1:20:17
  where to find each other's stuff.
• 1:20:20
  So something happens. We find it so that we can access
• 1:20:26
  those things with needed. Just make sure you have the
• 1:20:28
  information you need. If you've had a bad actor, we've
• 1:20:31
  had a bad actor in the past as a financial advisor.
• 1:20:34
  So we, you know, and, and so and we will be meeting with Tina in
• 1:20:39
  2025 to talk about our stuff and get it, you know, and because
• 1:20:44
  we're kind of working with somebody that's kind of neutral,
• 1:20:46
  doesn't really know us and there's just not really a
• 1:20:48
  relationship there. But you'll, you'll be pleasantly
• 1:20:53
  surprised if you've had one of those that you know, that she
• 1:20:57
  and her people are really there to support you.
• 1:21:00
  They really are authentically about the relationship and they
• 1:21:02
  want to be with you through all these seasons in your life.
• 1:21:06
  Thank you, Melissa, that that really means a lot.
• 1:21:10
  I think for AJ and I, you know, it's it and I'm kind of
• 1:21:16
  grooming, you know, some other, you know, gentleman in the
• 1:21:19
  office to become advisors and, and sort of helping them get
• 1:21:23
  their licensing and, and teach them the ropes.
• 1:21:26
  And for, for us, it's, it's about impact.
• 1:21:28
  It's, you know, how do we reach as many people and work with
• 1:21:32
  many people and help as many people as possible.
• 1:21:34
  And I forgot to mention too, that we should be having a
• 1:21:39
  speakers page go up on our website soon too.
• 1:21:42
  So AJ and I are, you know, willing to come out to, you
• 1:21:47
  know, we've spoken at groups of students at Fresno State, We've
• 1:21:51
  spoken to attorney's offices, whether it's like a local Rotary
• 1:21:55
  Club or some sort of community organization.
• 1:21:58
  You know, we're, we're happy to come out and speak on a specific
• 1:22:02
  topic too. So, so yeah, we can kind of
• 1:22:04
  cater the presentation to the audience too.
• 1:22:06
  So we're happy to do that as well.
• 1:22:08
  It's about getting the education out there and making an impact.
• 1:22:13
  Absolutely, absolutely. All right, Thank you so much for
• 1:22:16
  your time today. I'm so thankful to know you.
• 1:22:19
  I love the way you show up in the world.
• 1:22:21
  And again, ladies, tons of resources here for you, but also
• 1:22:24
  so many good Nuggets and what Tina talked about today and how
• 1:22:28
  she prioritizes her Wellness and sets those boundaries and
• 1:22:31
  communicates those expectations. The core Y and values piece, how
• 1:22:36
  she shows up unapologetically in in the things that she supports.
• 1:22:41
  And there's so much to pull from this today, but take good care
• 1:22:44
  of yourselves, find that financial advisor you trust,
• 1:22:47
  deal with that part of your of your health and, and relieve
• 1:22:52
  stressors that don't have to be there.
• 1:22:54
  And, and that's such a key component here that sometimes
• 1:22:57
  gets lost in the discussion. And so I'm so happy to be able
• 1:23:02
  to provide those resources with that.
• 1:23:04
  If you have any questions, let us know
• 1:23:06
  embracinglayers@gmail.com. We can get those to Tina or just
• 1:23:10
  reach out to her directly. But we hope you found this
• 1:23:13
  helpful and resourceful. Take good care of yourselves and
• 1:23:16
  have a great day. Hello, Melissa Crook here.
• 1:23:23
  Thank you so much for joining us on the field podcast today.
• 1:23:27
  Finding Empowerment. Embracing Layers.
• 1:23:30
  I hope you found today's framework and resources
• 1:23:34
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• 1:23:38
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• 1:23:41
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• 1:23:46
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• 1:23:49
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• 1:23:52
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• 1:23:56
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• 1:24:01
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• 1:24:51
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• 1:25:02
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• 1:25:06
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• 1:25:09
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• 1:25:13
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