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If you are FAT you may be a Food Addict · Connor with Honor: AI, Real Estate and Real Life

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Good everybody, 301.2.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: So four days ago I was 317.2 pounds.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Now, before you do what everybody does and say that's not real weight, let me stop you.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: You're right.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's not all fat.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: I never said that it was, but here's what it is.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's inflammation leaving my body.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's water that had no business being stored in my tissues.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's the bloat from processed garbage that was keeping my joints stiff and my face puffy and my gut distended like I swallowed a basketball.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, some of it's fat, but more importantly, all of it is evidence.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Evidence that when you stop poisoning yourself, the body starts releasing what it's been holding on to.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now that's not a small thing, that's everything.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because what that tells me is my body wanted to heal.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: It was waiting for me to get out of the way.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Now, day four.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yesterday was not hard.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I need to talk about why it matters more than the number on the scale.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I stayed busy.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: I immersed myself in work.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: I have things to build, problems to solve, and people to serve.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're locked in on something that matters, food doesn't call your name the same way.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: When food calls your name, well, when you're bored, when you're standing in the kitchen with nothing to do, and the refrigerator starts talking and it does talk.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Don't pretend it doesn't.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: The fridge has a voice and it knows your weaknesses better than your therapist.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what I did.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't give myself time in the kitchen.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Not because I'm running from food, but not because I'm white knuckling it, but because I've engineered my environment.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the word I want you to hold on to today.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Engineered.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: You don't beat food addiction with willpower.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: You beat it with architecture.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: You build a day that doesn't leave room for the saboteur.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because the saboteur is real.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Let me say that again.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: The saboteur inside you is a real entity.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: It has a voice, it has a strategy, and a timing.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: It knows when you're tired, it knows when you're lonely, it knows when you just had a bad phone call or a deal fell through or somebody disrespected you.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it shows up with one message.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: You deserve this.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: You've earned this, just this once, and just this once turns into just today.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: And just today turns into, I'll start Monday.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: And Monday turns into next month, and next month turns into next year, and next year turns into, I can't believe I'm back here again.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the cycle.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And the only way to break it is to stay present.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Not tomorrow, present, not next week, right now, present, this hour, this moment, this decision.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: When I eat today, here's what's going on my plate.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to be eggs, ground turkey, raw onions with apple cider vinegar, and maybe a little bit of avocado in the onions, and that's it.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Not because I'm punishing myself, but because I'm fueling my machine.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the shift I'm trying to make.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I really mean make, not just say.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Food is not a reward.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Food is not entertainment.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Food is not a celebration.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Food is construction material.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: When I eat those eggs, I'm rebuilding muscle tissue.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: When I eat that ground turkey, I'm feeding a metabolic furnace.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: When I eat those raw onions, I'm giving my gut bacteria what they need to do their job.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: When I take the apple cider vinegar on the onions, I'm supporting my digestive system so I can extract every nutrient from what I just consumed.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's the whole relationship.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: But Connor, why is it so hard?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, because we've been lied to since we were kids.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: What do you do at a birthday party?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: You eat cake.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: And at Thanksgiving, well, you shut, you stuff yourself until you can't move.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And what do you do on a date?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you go to dinner or you go to lunch.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: What do you do when somebody dies?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: People bring food to the house.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: What do you do when you close a deal?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: You go out to eat.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: What do you do when you're sad?
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Eat.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: And you're happy?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, eat.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Every emotion we have has been wired to a food response.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that wiring didn't happen by accident.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: It was engineered.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Just like I'm engineering my day to avoid the kitchen, there are industries engineering your day to make sure you never leave it.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now let me talk about the alcohol play for a second because it's the exact same game and same cycle.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Go look at a beer commercial.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: What do you see?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful people, fit people, people with six-pack abs holding a bottle of something that will destroy six-pack abs.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: People on boats, people at parties, people laughing with perfect white teeth while drinking liquid that rots your liver and packs visceral fat around your organs.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: They never show you the guy at 2 a.m.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: on his bathroom floor puking and praying to the porcelain god, thinking, oh my god, it's so cold.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: They never show you the woman crying in her car in the parking lot.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: They never show you the DUI, they never show you the divorce papers.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: They sell you the fantasy and hide the invoice.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Food companies do the exact same thing.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Go look at a fast food commercial.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Who's eating the burger?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: A fit 23-year-old with a perfect jawline.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: They're laughing.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: They're with friends.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: The lighting is warm, the music is good, and everyone is having the time of their life over a 1,200-calorie sandwich that was assembled by someone that doesn't know any better under fluorescent lights in a kitchen you've never eaten in, and you wouldn't if you saw it.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: But they're selling you belonging.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: They're selling you community, they're selling you the idea that this food is what happy people eat, and that's the hook.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because deep down, what every food addict really wants isn't the food.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's the feeling they've been told the food's going to give them.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Connection, comfort, and celebration.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Being part of something, and the cruelest part, the food never delivers.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: You eat the thing, you feel good for about 90 seconds, then the guilt arrives, then the bloat arrives, then the thirst arrives, then the self-hatred arrives.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: And now you're worse off than before you ate it.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: But you'll do it again tomorrow because the commercial is still playing in your head, and because your mom still equates love with a full plate, and because your friends will still say, come on, just have one.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that brings me to the most important thing I'm going to say today.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: The people around you, they have to be on that same page.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I don't mean they have to be fasting or have to be not eating certain things.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: I don't mean they have to eat what you eat either.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: They have to respect what you're doing enough to not put obstacles in your path.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's the truth nobody wants to say out loud.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the people who love you the most are going to sabotage you the fastest.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Not because they're evil, but because your change threatens their normal.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: When you stop eating the way you eat, it holds a mirror up.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: When you start losing weight, it reminds them they haven't.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: When you say no to the pizza, it makes their yes feel like a weakness.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And the easiest way to make that feeling go away is to pull you back down.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Have some.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Just a little.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're already looking so good, you can't afford it.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: You can afford it.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: One won't hurt.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's not love, that's recruitment.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Misery wants company, and it's very polite about the invitation.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: You have to build a perimeter.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: You have to communicate clearly.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I'm doing.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: This is why I'm doing it.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: I need you to support me, not test me.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And if they can't do that, you limit exposure during the critical phase.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm not saying cut people off, but I am saying protect your mission because your mission has a deadline.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: My mission does as well.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: May 17th, 63 days.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: 265 pounds is my goal, and I will not let anyone's comfort zone become my coffin.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now let me address this other voice.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: The one inside me that says, why can't you just eat clean all the time?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Why does this have to be a war?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Why can't you just view food as fuel and be done with it?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Here's my honest answer.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm an addict.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: And the substance I'm addicted to is the one I can't quit cold turkey forever.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: You can stop drinking and never touch alcohol again.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: You can stop smoking and never light up another cigarette.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: You can stop gambling and never walk into a casino, but eating can't stop it.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: You have to face your drug three times a day or whenever.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: You have to open the cabinet where it lives.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: You have to walk through the grocery store where it's displayed like art.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: You have to sit at tables where other people are using it recreationally while you try to use it medicinally.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's what makes food addiction the last addiction.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: The one you can never fully escape.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: You only change your relationship with it.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And the re changing a relationship takes time.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: It takes pain and it takes days like yesterday where you win, but because you were strong, but because you were smart.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: I stayed busy, I stayed out of the kitchen, I stayed present.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And today I'm 301.2.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow it'll be less.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And the day after that, not because of willpower, but because of architecture.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because I built a day that serves the mission instead of the addiction.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I want you to do.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Stop trying to be strong.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Start trying to be strategic.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Build your day so tight that the saboteur can't find a gap.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Fill your hours with purpose.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Fill your mind with work.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Fill your identity with something bigger than what's in the refrigerator.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because hunger is real.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because hunger is not dangerous.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Hunger is a signal, not an emergency.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Your body is not dying, it's adapting.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's switching fuel sources.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: But learning to burn what you've stored instead of begging for what you keep feeding it.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when you let that process happen, when you stop interrupting it every four hours with another meal you didn't need or grazing all day long, something remarkable starts to happen.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: The noise stops, the obsession fades.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: The food loses its power.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Not forever, not completely, but enough.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Enough to get through today, and today is all you've got.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to look at your why.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to find it.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to embrace your do.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is my day for 301.2.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just getting started.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see you in the next one.