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Hypnosis to Turn The Harsh Inner Critic to a Kind Voice of Encouragement · The Hypnotist

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  Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
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  access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing genuine
• 0:07
  issues. Brought to you by the
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  hypnotherapist, demanded by celebrities, CEOs and even
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  royalty. Adam Cox.
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  These recordings took place live from Adam's clinic in London's
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  world famous Harley Street. This podcast features powerful
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  hypnosis, so do not listen while driving or operating machinery.
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  This recording is not suitable for those with epilepsy or
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  severe mental health issues, so get yourself comfortable and
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  enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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  Hi, it's. Adam here.
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  And in this session of hypnosis, you're going to be listening to
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  something designed to turn that inner critic into a much kinder,
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  supportive, encouraging voice. I was working with a client that
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  was very harsh on themself. But actually there was an
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  unintended benefit, not to the life in general, but what feels
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  like a win. And then this is called a
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  secondary gain. So the pattern of this client is
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  that they had very high standards, impossibly high
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  standards. Let's call it perfection.
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  And when they failed to meet these very high standards, then
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  they would be very mean to themselves, very critical, very
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  harsh, and that would make them feel bad.
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  But when they felt bad, that would then give them permission
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  to eat whatever they wanted. So you can see how this becomes
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  a loop that is destructive in every way possible.
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  But for a part that wants to crave certain foods, it gives
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  permission to do that. And they couldn't do that if
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  they felt great. So it had this kind of pattern.
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  And what we noticed with this particular client is that when
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  they're a child, certain responsibilities, they can never
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  get them right. They were very harshly
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  criticized by their parent. So this hypnosis session starts
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  with an element of regression and a form of inner child work.
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  By being the mother to themselves the way they would
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  have wanted to have been, that would have been much kinder and
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  encouraging and helped them much better than the criticism ever
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  did. Then a form of seeing how they
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  communicate with their current daughter, which is that kind
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  encouraging way. And the reason for that is that
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  I wanted to give them evidence that they already have this
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  skill set because if they could communicate that way to their
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  daughter, they could definitely communicate that way to themself
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  in their own, in a dialogue. And then it's about harnessing
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  that. Is there an element of what's
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  called parts integration therapy or parts therapy?
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  We use this metaphor of a room with a chair, and we invite that
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  critical part. We elicit the positive intention
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  and we see if we can meet that positive intention in a more
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  elegant, resourceful, and useful way.
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  And then we link that to an extra resource of kind
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  encouragement, integrate those two resources and then future
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  pace that so they get to test. Would it actually work in their
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  reality when they do something quote UN quote wrong?
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  When they mess up, are they harsh to themselves or are they
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  being kind, understanding and compassionate to themselves?
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  So there's a bit going on here. And of course, because it was
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  for a client, some of the references about cooking as a
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  child or helping their daughter, colouring in won't make sense
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  for you if that wasn't your experience and you're not in
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  that situation. But the essence is to train a
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  critical part to be more encouraging and kind.
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  So hone into that if you want to get the maximum value from this
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  session. And if you like the idea of
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  working with me directly, the best thing to do is to look for
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  a link in the description to book a free 30 minute
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  consultation call. We'll have a chat and I'll
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  explain how we can work together.
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  For now though, find a quiet, comfortable place where you
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  won't be disturbed. Relax and enjoy the session.
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  Take a deep breath in and as you breathe in, breathe in that
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  wonderful feeling of calm and relaxation.
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  And as you exhale, feel a sense of release as any tension,
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  stress and worries just feels like it's leaving your body in
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  your outward breath, enabling you to feel deeper and deeper,
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  relaxed. That's it.
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  Scan your body for any clues of tension, maybe around your
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  forehead, your jaw, your neck, or your shoulders and just said
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  the intention to release that tension.
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  That's it. And breathing in.
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  Relaxation and exhaling. The sensation of melting away,
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  tension now breathing in and breathing out.
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  And I want you to imagine what it would be like to see one of
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  those big fun water slides. But imagine that this water
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  slide doesn't take you into a pool.
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  It takes you into the past, into your childhood.
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  Imagine you're standing at the top of this slide, being able to
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  slide all the way back into your past.
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  And there's something about a water slide that brings out that
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  inner child within that fun, playful part within you, the
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  part that likes to enjoy and smile.
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  And I want you to imagine sliding down that water slide,
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  feeling the exhilaration, the speed, the velocity all the way
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  down, twists and turns all the way down.
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  But when you get to the bottom, no pool.
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  I want you to imagine you are now back in your childhood home.
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  And I want you to imagine how it would feel to be yourself at
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  your current age, walking around that place.
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  You can see everyone and everything, but you are
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  invisible to them. And I want you to see yourself
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  as a child and your mother at a time where food was being
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  prepared. I want you to see yourself
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  stirring some tomato sauce in a pan, but I want you to see that
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  no matter how you stirred that sauce, it was never quite right.
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  It was never good enough. Didn't matter the direction, the
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  speed, how hard you concentrated, it was never good
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  enough. And I want you to imagine that
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  younger version of you perhaps learning two things.
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  One that you couldn't quite get things right.
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  You had to strive for perfection, and no matter how
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  hard you strived, it was always elusive.
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  And maybe the second thing you learned all the way back then
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  was if you don't do something right, you should be told off.
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  And in fact, you shouldn't even be attempting to do that thing
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  at all, that the responsibility was taken from you.
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  But now, as you see that memory, I want you to get a different
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  perspective. It wasn't that you were doing
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  the wrong thing, it was the way that you were being taught or
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  told off wasn't the right thing. And I want you to imagine how it
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  would feel to step into the body of your mother and decide that
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  you're going to give you feedback in a different way, a
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  way of kindness, compassion, encouragement.
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  Rewind it all until you can see that young version of you
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  attempting to stir the source the very first time, and you
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  know it's not right. But imagine in a loving, kind,
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  encouraging way, you give that feedback to that younger version
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  of you as to how to improve slightly, how to make some
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  progress and notice how good it feels and natural it feels for
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  you to be kind to yourself and see the reaction of that younger
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  version of you responding positively to that kind
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  understanding, that helpful, constructive encouragement,
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  guidance, support. And each time there's more
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  guidance, every bit of feedback, lessons, support is always
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  winnable. They can always make that tiny
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  bit of progress. And I want you to see what
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  impact that would have had on that young child.
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  They would have taken pride in their ability to stir sauce.
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  They would have felt the sense of growth, learning,
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  responsibility because the game was winnable.
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  They wanted to play that game. And imagine when that younger
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  version of you is finished during the support finish
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  stirring that sauce. Just give them wonderful praise,
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  tell them they did a wonderful job so good at stirring that
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  sauce, and just see their face light up with a smile and give
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  them a hug. And if this feels like it would
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  have been more useful for you back then to have had feedback
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  in that way, let me know by nodding your head.
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  I want you to get a sound that there is a inner child within
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  you being healed, and that child perhaps wouldn't have had that
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  critical voice within the way that you do now.
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  I want you to imagine what it would be like to see a mirror
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  somewhere in that childhood home, and the mirror is a portal
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  to your current present home. Again, imagine yourself as a
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  invisible entity. Step through the mirror and I
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  want you to see another young child, this time your daughter.
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  And I want you to see them colouring in maybe a picture
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  that's already printed and they're trying to colour inside
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  the lines. And I want you to see that every
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  now and then the colours go outside of the lines.
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  And I want you to feel that your instinct is that it's no big
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  deal. The intention is to make a nice
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  picture and if every now and then a colour goes outside of
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  the lines then So what? The blip is not the trend.
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  I want you to get a sands. Then your daughter is teaching
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  you a valuable lesson to focus on the picture, not the colour
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  outside of the lines. So breathe in and breathe out.
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  That's it. And imagine a place of pure
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  comfort, pure relaxation. And as you hear the sound of my
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  voice, you may begin to notice things, things that aren't
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  usually noticed. I want you to focus on the
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  rhythm of your breath, the weight of your body supported by
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  anything beneath you. Perhaps even a sense that the
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  very act of listening to my words can lead to a calm and
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  open state. And as your awareness settles,
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  you may begin to drift and wonder how many ways you can
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  relax even now. And every breath in invites a
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  wonderful feeling of kindness. And every breath out releases
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  harshness. And you can drift deeper now,
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  deeper with every word, drifting deeper and deeper down to that
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  place where change happens. And I want you to imagine before
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  you quiet, peaceful room, a room not in your home, a different
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  room, perhaps even a room you've never been to before, a place
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  where all parts of you are welcome.
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  And in this room is a chair, not a comfortable chair, but a
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  functional chair, like a meeting chair.
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  And seated on that chair is a part of you.
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  I want you to imagine that this is your inner critic, the part
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  that speaks harshly when you're late.
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  You don't meet your standards. Maybe that part says things like
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  you're late, you've messed things up, everything is ruined,
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  you're never going to change. And maybe that part looks a
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  certain way or sounds a certain way.
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  Maybe they're dressed a certain way, maybe their facial
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  expressional posture looks a certain way.
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  And you're in the room with this part and just observe it without
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  judgement. But I want you to thank this
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  part not for the harsh criticism, but for the positive
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  intention behind it, because I think this part wants good
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  things for you, wants you to have high standards.
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  So as you thank that critical part for its intention, I want
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  you to see the facial expressions and the posture
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  shift and change and soften this part.
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  Thought you'd be angry with it, but I want you to be grateful
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  for the intention. And then I want you to share
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  something that if this part has the intention of high standards,
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  I want you to imagine projecting all those memories.
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  Then, because you failed those impossibly high standards, I
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  want you to telepathically project all those times you felt
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  that sense of heaviness, blackness, tightness, All those
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  times you ate too much. Felt lousy about yourself?
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  Project all of those experiences directly into the mind of this
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  part that has been harsh with you.
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  I want you to see that perhaps they had no idea that by trying
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  to have the very highest of standards, they were
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  inadvertently giving you permission to lower your
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  standards. Maybe ask that part, what are
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  they trying to do for you? Maybe they're trying to protect
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  you or help you in some way, and just listen to what that part
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  says. I think you already know they
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  had a positive intention, just like your mother had a positive
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  intention. But sometimes positive
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  intentions can lead to the very opposite direction to which they
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  intend. Because that voice may have
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  sounded harsh, but it was never meant to punish.
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  He was trying to motivate, to protect, to raise your
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  standards, to help you live a better life.
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  What if it didn't know how to speak kindly and encouraging?
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  I want you to imagine asking that part if it's willing to
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  meet the intention in a more effective way, and if that part
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  is willing to keep the intention the same, but the way it
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  delivers that intention in a new way.
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  Let me know by nodding your head.
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  That's it. And I want you to ask that part
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  to use kindness, understanding, to use encouragement as the way
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  to have those high standards. And I want you to find the part
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  within you that is the kindest, wisest part, the part that
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  naturally does those things. And when that part enters the
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  room, let me know by nodding your head.
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  And I want you to imagine these two parts will now work as a
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  team. The part that was critical will
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  keep the standards, but the way it will maintain those standards
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  is through encouragement, learning, and tiny incremental
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  progress. And if both parts are willing to
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  work as a team to help you move forward through progress,
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  improvements, refinements, let me know by nodding your head.
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  And I want you to test it out. I want you to imagine it's a
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  week or two from now and you know you're going to be late for
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  something. But I want you to hear that
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  inner dialogue is different now. Maybe instead of reprimanding
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  you, telling you off, maybe that voice is supportive and
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  encouraging. Don't worry, you can still do
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  what you need to do or make this work.
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  And next time we'll leave earlier.
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  You've got this. And notice that when you feel
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  encouraged, when there's perspective, when there's
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  understanding. Notice how you don't feel bad
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  about yourself and any cravings to binge or eat horrible food
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  just isn't there. If this feels like a better
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  relationship with yourself, that would take you forwards where
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  the critic agrees to stop using shame to punish you and instead
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  becomes this inner standard setter quality control to move
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  you forward through progress rather than punishment.
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  A part that still wants growth but speaks with kind,
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  encouraging words. It feels like that change has
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  now taken place. Let me know by nodding your
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  head. And if every now and then you
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  hear that harsh tonality, you can remind that part that we
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  don't do that anymore. It would be an echo.
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  The new part is kind and encouraging.
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  It will be a coach to you, the voice you hear when things don't
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  go to plan, giving you ideas for improvements, refinements, areas
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  of progress. And let's try something else.
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  I want you to imagine you failed at something.
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  Something didn't work out the way you intended.
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  Hear the words of kind encouragement, like a
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  motivational speaker inside your head.
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  Not shaming you and blaming you, reprimanding you, but building
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  you up, getting you back on your feet, helping you to stay the
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  course to that direction that you really want to get to.
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  And you can always choose to feel bad about yourself, but you
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  don't need that anymore. You want something that makes
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  your life better. And by doing so, don't be
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  surprised if you become a different example to the people
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  you love the most. That you don't need to be hard,
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  harsh, mean and cruel to yourself to make progress.
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  You can be kind, loving, caring, compassionate and understanding
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  and still make progress. Hear that new, warm, encouraging
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  voice telling you that you're human.
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  You're still learning. There is no failure, only
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  feedback. We can learn from this, and all
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  of it is true. And you feel how this response
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  feels better. Instead of that darkness and
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  tightness feel lighter, energized, galvanized to move
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  forward. If this path forward feels more
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  winnable, more motivating, more inspiring, let me know by
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  nodding your head as it now dawns on you that perfection is
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  the enemy of progress and you will now prioritize progress
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  over perfection. The setbacks are part of your
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  springboard forward. Your eye is on the progress and
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  the direction that you're heading in.
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  It's time to leave this place, this place deep down in your
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  imagination. But you will return where your
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  inner critic is now, your inner coach, encouraging, supportive,
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  helping you move forward. So take a deep breath in through
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  your nose and out through your nose.
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  Just wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes, connect and calibrate
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  into the here and the now as I now count from 1:00 to 10:00 to
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  awaken you. Starting to count 123 waking up
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  456 more alert 7-8. Open your eyes.
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  Open your eyes 910 Wide awake, Wide awake.
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  Wide awake. Thank you for listening to The
• 30:25
  Hypnotist with Adam Cox, the show that gives you inside
• 30:29
  access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing genuine
• 30:33
  issues. To automatically receive the
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  latest episodes, please subscribe.
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  review.