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Fear of Flying: Why Your Brain Panics on a Plane and How to Overcome It · Moving Minds Forward

• 0:10
  Gary Johannes: Hello, and welcome to Moving Minds Forward. Today, we're talking about the fear of flying. People aren't broken, and whatever they're carrying, there's always a way forward. I know that because I've lived it. I left school at 14 with no qualifications, one of nine kids.
• 0:29
  I joined the RAF at 16, then spent years in sales, going on to run nightclubs and bars and restaurants. Not exactly the typical route into mental health. But in my late forties, I met a hypotherapist. I think I thought I knew about myself. Turned out to be a lot more flexible than I'd assumed.
• 0:52
  I retrained, and I started inspired to change. Then later, around 60, I took an MSc in the psychology and neuroscience of mental health at King's College. I'm Gao Jahannes, solution focused hypnotherapist, founder of Inspired to Change, and a lecturer. And that belief, people aren't broken, and there's always a way forward, runs through everything on this podcast. One condition per episode.
• 1:26
  What's going on? What's happening? What actually helps? Over the years, I've sat with a lot of people who were sure that this was just how they were made. The woman who drive two days to the South Of France with three kids in the back, rather than take a two hour flight, the man who had a large whiskey or two or three in a departure lounge at seven in the morning just to get him through the gate.
• 1:57
  The ones who book a holiday, pay for the holiday, and then quietly counsel it a week or so before and tell everyone something came up. None of them are weak. Every one of them was carrying a fear that had learned to run the show. So if you've ever turned down a trip you actually wanted to go on, or spent a fortnight before the flight with a knot in your stomach that spoiled the holiday before it even started, this one's for you. Stay with me.
• 2:31
  Let's get into it. Picture it. You're in your seat, bag stowed, belt on, and then you hear it, a heavy clunk as the cabin door closes. That's the sound your fear has been waiting for because that's the moment the choice has gone. The engines start to build.
• 2:52
  The safety card's in your hand, and you haven't taken a single word in what's already going. And the plane hasn't even moved. Here's the thing I want you to hold on to. This is not a flaw in your character. You're not being dramatic.
• 3:08
  You're not being a coward. What you're feeling is a survival system doing exactly what it's built to do. It's just aimed at the wrong target. And here's the part that matters. Character doesn't shift much.
• 3:24
  A misfiring alarm does. That can be the change. Let's be clear about what this episode is and isn't about. A flutter of nerves on a bumpy landing is normal. Clancing up when the engine note changes.
• 3:41
  Normal. A bit of respect for the fact that you're in a metal tube at 30,000 feet. That's just being awake. That's not what we're talking about. What we're talking about is the fear that stops you booking, the fear that hijacks your whole trip or grounds you completely.
• 4:03
  If your nerves settle once you're up and you get on with the crossword, you probably haven't got a problem. This is for the people whose fear is making the decisions. We're going to look at what the fear of flying actually is. What's happening in your brain when it fires? What causes it?
• 4:25
  And what keeps it going? And then we're gonna actually find out what helps. If you're finding this useful, hit subscribe wherever you're listening. There's a lot more to come. What fear of flying actually is?
• 4:39
  So what is it really? To pop a name is aerophobia. And for a lot of people, it was never really about the plane. Ask around, and you'll find two camps. Some are frightened of what's outside, the turbulence, the weather, something going wrong with the aircraft.
• 4:59
  But a huge number are frightened of what's inside, of losing control of themselves, of panicking in a place they can't walk out of, of the feelings, not the flight. You're not always afraid of flying. Sometimes you're afraid of how flying makes you feel, and that's a different thing entirely. Because feelings, we can work with. And you're in a lot of company.
• 5:27
  Anxiety UK reckons around one in ten people have a fear of flying, and they're clear that the real figure is probably higher because most people never report it. They just quietly stop flying. And roughly a quarter of UK adults say they feel some fear or anxiety about getting on a plane. A quarter. So when you're sat there convinced you're the only one gripping the armrest, you're surrounded by people doing the very same thing behind a calm face.
• 6:06
  This is common. This is not a character defect, and the shame you might feel about it only pours petrol in the fire. Let's put that down. So what's actually going on up there? Deep in your brain sits a little alarm.
• 6:23
  Think of it as a smoke detector. Its whole job is to spot danger and act before you've had time to think. And it can't tell the difference between smoke from a fire and smoke from the toast. When it decides flying is a threat, it floods your brain with adrenaline, heart hammering, breathing fast, and shallow, harm sweating, stomach dropping. That's not being pathetic.
• 6:56
  That's your body getting ready to run from a lion or a tiger. The trouble is there's no lion or tiger. And here's the cool bit. The moment that alarm goes off, it shoves the clever thinking part of your brain, the part that knows flying is the safest way to travel straight out of the room. That's why the facts don't help in the moment.
• 7:25
  Your survival brain can't read safety records. It can only read your heartbeat. So it fills the racing heart, decides the danger must be real, and rings the alarm harder, fear making more fear. So what causes it? Where does it come from?
• 7:45
  Here's what surprises most people. You don't need a bad flight to develop a fear of flying. Plenty of people flew happily for years and then seemingly out of nowhere couldn't. Usually, it's one of a few things, often more than one at once. Sometimes it's claustrophobia or a fear of heights wearing a different coat.
• 8:10
  Sometimes you learned it. What's the crushed replayed on the news or sat beside a parent who gripped the seat at every bump, and your brain quietly filed flying under danger? And very often is the stress bucket. Picture bucket that every bit of life's pressure pours into, work, money, family, health, the lot. Sleep is the tap that drains it.
• 8:40
  When more goes in than drains out, the bucket starts to overflow. And it tends to overflow whenever your nervous system finds it easiest to leak. For some people, that's their gut. For some people, it's their sleep. And for some, it's the one situation where they feel completely out of control.
• 9:06
  Strapped into a seat at altitude, the fear of flying is often the symptom. The overflowing bucket is the cause. One quick, honest word. For some people, this doesn't stay on the plane. The panic starts turning up into everyday life too.
• 9:26
  If that's you, it's worth a conversation with your GP. Not because something's wrong with you, but because you deserve the right support. And getting it early is a sign of sense, not weakness. So why does it dig in and stay? Mostly avoidance.
• 9:45
  And avoidance is a brilliant short term deal and a terrible long term one. Every time you dodge a flight, you feel instant relief, and your brain learns a lesson. That was dangerous, and steering clear kept me safe. So the fear doesn't fade. It grows, and your world shrinks to wherever you can drive to or sail to.
• 10:13
  Then there's a rehearsal. You run the disaster in your head for weeks before the trip, the panic, the turbulence, the worst of it. And because your brain can't fully tell a vividly imagined flight from a real one, you've flown that nightmare a 100 times before you reach the airport. And there's the body watching, scanning yourself for the first flicker of panic, which all but guarantees you find it. Round and around it goes.
• 10:48
  Each part feed in the next. But hear this clearly. A cycle that feeds itself can also be start. Break one link, and the whole thing starts to come apart. Here's where solution focus works differently.
• 11:06
  We don't go digging through your past for the first time a plane frightened you. We look forward. So here's the question I'd put to you. What does the start of a holiday look like when flying is just a boring bit? You do to get to the good bit.
• 11:28
  When you're in your seat with a book and a coffee, mildly bored, thinking about where you're going, not braced against the armrest, get clear on that because that's the target. And we build towards it in three ways. Positive interaction. Stop flying your fear in secret. Tell whoever you're traveling with, tell the cabin crew when you bald.
• 11:57
  Nervous flies are their bread and butter. And a quiet word means someone's got half an eye on you. Fear shrinks when it's shared and grows when it's hidden. Positive action. Small steps in the right order.
• 12:12
  Look how well before the trip, not the night before. Go and sit in an airport with a coffee and let let it be ordinary. Take a short hop before long haul. And on the day, the simple things earn their place. Go easy on the caffeine and the alcohol, and slow your breathing right down.
• 12:36
  Out breath longer than in breath. Because that's one of the few switches that talks straight to the alarm and tells it to stand down. Positive thinking. Feed your mind the flight you want, not the one you dread. Picture the calm boarding, the smooth climb, the wheels touching down, the doors opening, the people waiting for you on the other side.
• 13:06
  Each time you rehearse that, you're teaching the brain a new story to expect. And if the real culprit is the bucket, we work on that too. Because bringing the level down stops the alarm sitting on a hair trigger to begin with. That's where hypnotherapy comes in. And let me be plain about what it actually is, because there's a lot of rubbish talked about it.
• 13:33
  You're not asleep. You're not under anyone's control. It's a focused, relaxed state. The same one you drop into when a film pulls you right in, or you drive a familiar road and barely remember the journey. In that state, the thinking part of the brain stays switched on, and we use it to rehearse the calmer response, to change the template your mind reaches for when it turns to flying.
• 14:06
  And because the brain doesn't draw a hard line between a vividly rehearsed flight and a real one, you arrive with a bit of practice already behind you, when this isn't hand waving. Researchers at Stanford have put people into hypnosis inside brain scanners and watched the activity change. The regions that handle worry and self consciousness quieten down. A real measurable shift, not a stage trick. The fear was learned, and what's learned can be unlearned.
• 14:45
  One thing you can take from this, next time the dread starts to rise in the departure lounge or just booking the flight at your kitchen table, say this to yourself plainly. This is my alarm going off. It's not the airplane. That's it. Name it.
• 15:04
  It sounds almost too simple, but putting feelings into words is one of the fastest ways we know to bring the thinking parts of the brain back into the room. You're not fighting the fear. You're just reminding yourself what it actually is, an old alarm, not new evidence. Let me speak to you directly. If this is you, you're not broken.
• 15:33
  You're not weak, and you're very far from alone. The same brain that has learned to be frightened of flying can learn to sit on a plane and be bored by it, because that's how the brain works. They learn, and they can always learn something new. That's not me being kind. That's neuroscience.
• 15:57
  Understanding what's going on is where it starts, and you've just done that. If this has been useful, subscribe wherever you're listening, and leave a review if you've got a second. It helps more people than you think find their way to it. One condition per episode. What's going on, what's keeping it going, and what actually helps.
• 16:20
  And if you'd like to find out whether Inspired to Change can help you with the fear of flying, we've got a nationwide network of solution focused hypnotherapists right across The UK. Working in person and online is worth starting well before your trip. You can find your nearest therapist, read more about the how we work, and book a free initial consultation at inspiredtochange.biz. The link will be in the description below. See you on the next one.