Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / The Weather Man vs The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

Transcript

The Weather Man vs The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

• 0:00
  Oh, God. Oh, my God.
• 0:12
  Tell you what, I ate a lot of tacos in the 90s.
• 0:15
  They were popping.
• 0:18
  There's a hair on my microphone.
• 0:19
  Gross. Is it mine?
• 0:20
  No, I think it was one of the like rosies or something.
• 0:22
  OK, that's better, I suppose.
• 0:25
  Depends where on Rosie.
• 0:26
  Hmm. True.
• 0:28
  Not all dog hair is the same.
• 0:29
  But but hair, but hair.
• 0:31
  Things haven't changed that much over here.
• 0:33
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 0:34
  So, Darrell, do you have a strong feeling one way or the other on these movies?
• 0:38
  I know this is our comedy bracket.
• 0:40
  I'm the big fan of both, to be honest.
• 0:43
  Weatherman.
• 0:45
  I think low key one of my favorite cage films.
• 0:47
  It might actually be.
• 0:49
  It's a good film.
• 0:50
  Yeah.
• 0:51
  There's so many things throughout that movie that I forgot until I turned it on.
• 0:55
  I was like, oh, wait, I'm a see some fucking chicken nuggets
• 0:58
  slapping him in the face. That's going to be good.
• 1:02
  That's what we come for.
• 1:04
  I still want to believe that brands paid to have like
• 1:09
  stuff thrown on Nick Cage.
• 1:11
  Yeah. I mean, he talks about Frosty's a lot.
• 1:13
  And he goes into an Arby's to get Arby's coffee.
• 1:17
  Well, he was trying to get change.
• 1:18
  I know.
• 1:19
  It's also so weird to think about.
• 1:22
  There was a time not that long ago where you needed cash.
• 1:25
  It's true.
• 1:26
  Do you think Arby's coffee is just like as you beefed?
• 1:30
  That's just as you.
• 1:31
  I was just thinking that'd be great.
• 1:32
  That would be a way better marketing if they just sold like a cup of as you
• 1:36
  caffeinated as you could take your roast beef and dip it.
• 1:39
  I want caffeinated gravy.
• 1:41
  Yeah. Isn't that a red eye gravy?
• 1:43
  Is that what that is?
• 1:43
  Yeah. It's gravy with coffee in it.
• 1:45
  How much coffee?
• 1:46
  Not enough to like get you going.
• 1:48
  That's not what I want.
• 1:50
  Well, then you just want coffee.
• 1:51
  Yeah, but I want it to be graveyed.
• 1:53
  OK, I'll do that for you, but you have to eat it all.
• 1:57
  You're going to make a disgusting amount.
• 1:58
  No, I'm going to make a normal 16 ounce cup of coffee's amount.
• 2:03
  That sounds horrible.
• 2:05
  It truly does.
• 2:06
  And just a cup of coffee.
• 2:08
  Since we've last met, I've quit drinking.
• 2:10
  I need new and interesting ways to hurt myself.
• 2:13
  Which is great, because that's where I come in.
• 2:15
  Blending stuff in gravy.
• 2:17
  This is how you get your sick kicks from gravy to the grave.
• 2:21
  I don't want coffee gravy.
• 2:22
  I want caffeinated gravy.
• 2:24
  The fuck are you talking about?
• 2:25
  You're going to get the gravy I make you.
• 2:28
  One of the scenes in Weatherman that I had forgotten about entirely
• 2:31
  and was just like, this is so strange.
• 2:33
  It's when Mike is eating the corn dogs and Nick Cage is like,
• 2:37
  what are you eating?
• 2:38
  Yeah, like he's never seen a corn dog before.
• 2:42
  So welcome back to Cage Magical on a roundabout way of meeting Nicholas Cage.
• 2:45
  I'm Sean here with my co-host Nick.
• 2:48
  I'm Nick and our producer Peter. Hello.
• 2:50
  And this week we have back Darrell Edge from the Cage Raid podcast
• 2:54
  and getting to foe you.
• 2:56
  Hello, hello. Yes, there's there's been more to foe since the last time.
• 3:01
  This cage is still caging on.
• 3:03
  Thank you for having me back.
• 3:04
  Feels like it was only yesterday you were talking to me about spiders
• 3:08
  and spider season.
• 3:10
  And I'm still mad that I know that's a thing that exists.
• 3:13
  Well, I can I can put your I can put your mind to ease it a little bit.
• 3:17
  We are currently at the start of bunny season. Yeah. It's much softer.
• 3:22
  Is that that's not under the name like spiders, is it?
• 3:24
  Because I will start throwing hands at all of you.
• 3:27
  No legit, you know, the Pacific Northwest rabbit.
• 3:31
  Yeah, like legit bunnies.
• 3:32
  I was like pulling out of my driveway the other day,
• 3:33
  and there was just a bunny in front of my car that I had to like shoe off.
• 3:36
  Would have been better if it was on your car. Yeah.
• 3:38
  Just I think just driving your car.
• 3:40
  I mean, that'd be a much better story for me.
• 3:42
  Just a rabbit, like three rabbits in a trench coat, stealing his car.
• 3:46
  That's still be a very short person.
• 3:48
  The power of three, three, anything's in a trench coat
• 3:51
  can do whatever it puts its mind to.
• 3:52
  The trench coat is what gives it the power, really.
• 3:56
  Yeah, it's a magical trench coat. It does make sense that way.
• 3:59
  Darrell, I had a question for you because I watched a movie recently
• 4:02
  and it did have Willem Dafoe in it, and it's a new movie.
• 4:04
  Have you seen Poor Things yet?
• 4:07
  I have indeed. Yes.
• 4:09
  What did you think of that movie?
• 4:10
  Obviously, without spoiling too much of your own work
• 4:13
  that you're going to do later when you actually review that.
• 4:16
  I loved it. I'm a big, big fan.
• 4:19
  Give me Deformed Dafoe any day of the week.
• 4:22
  Give me Deformed Daddy.
• 4:24
  And I'm there with bells on.
• 4:26
  Give me Emma Stone.
• 4:28
  You know, anything really big fan of Emma Stone.
• 4:30
  And also Mark Ruffalo, what a goddamn GM.
• 4:33
  So you say a deformed Dafoe.
• 4:36
  We've seen Dafoe with tiny teeth.
• 4:38
  What's the what's he bring into the table this time?
• 4:41
  Oh, it's something.
• 4:42
  Oh, my God, is it his wiener?
• 4:44
  No, that's too scary for everyone.
• 4:46
  I wish. I mean, you know, we we have a running gag on our show.
• 4:50
  It's not even a gag at this point.
• 4:51
  It's just a fact that we have to bring up the foes hog every episode
• 4:58
  where it does not belong.
• 5:00
  A lot of lies like sort of weird Frankenstein jigsawed prosthetics on the face.
• 5:05
  This kind of odds kind of Germanic accent fat fingers.
• 5:12
  This guy got a whole lot going on.
• 5:14
  Yeah. And no doubt that he's got a Frankenstein dig to thank God.
• 5:19
  Patched together all different shades.
• 5:21
  Do you think the stitching is like a selling point when he goes on a date?
• 5:26
  Like, yeah, it's got stitching, so it's like kind of all off center ribbing.
• 5:31
  Unintentionally ribbed for her pleasure.
• 5:33
  Right. Yeah.
• 5:34
  Don't go too hard. It might like rip something off.
• 5:38
  But my favorite line in that movie is when he's sort of like defending his actions.
• 5:43
  And he's just like, well, of course, what was I supposed to do?
• 5:46
  I put the baby's brain in the mother's body.
• 5:49
  And I was like, all right, I have no clue what this movie is about.
• 5:54
  When did you start talking about American politics?
• 5:57
  He did nothing wrong.
• 6:01
  We've got it coming up in a soon as we start.
• 6:03
  We thought to ourselves we should probably do some more recent movies
• 6:06
  so people listen to us. That'd be nice.
• 6:08
  Wait, you do this for listeners?
• 6:10
  Wait, what? You do this for the listeners?
• 6:13
  I do it to get laid.
• 6:15
  Actually, maybe you do it to get laid.
• 6:17
  I've tried. It hasn't worked yet.
• 6:19
  That's yeah. No, that's the thing.
• 6:21
  Nick Cage, podcaster is on my dating profile and everyone I like,
• 6:25
  whenever I bring it up with someone I'm talking to on an app, they're just like,
• 6:28
  wait, that's real.
• 6:29
  And my only response to that is ever.
• 6:31
  Why would I lie about that of all the things I can lie about?
• 6:34
  Why would I lie about that?
• 6:36
  I think that's where you're going wrong.
• 6:37
  You can't get defensive as soon as someone asks you a question
• 6:40
  about something you put in your own profile.
• 6:42
  So you were Nick Cage, podcast, a fuck you.
• 6:44
  Fuck. You're serious about that.
• 6:47
  I'm like, of course I'm serious about it.
• 6:49
  You should just.
• 6:51
  Why would I lie about that?
• 6:52
  Not answer with words, but answer with just a bottle of ether.
• 6:57
  My profile was written by three bunnies in a trench coat.
• 7:02
  What do you want from me?
• 7:04
  Now that you should add. Oh.
• 7:08
  So Dave Spritz, Dave Spritz,
• 7:11
  just like the weatherman, this conversation is full of depression.
• 7:14
  All right. Here we go.
• 7:17
  Back on track.
• 7:18
  Oh, if we're talking about weatherman in respect to the horrible
• 7:24
  American accents by English actors in this,
• 7:26
  I want to hear your best worst American accent.
• 7:29
  I mean, I feel like on behalf of all British people,
• 7:32
  I have to apologize for Michael Caine.
• 7:35
  We didn't tell him to do that.
• 7:37
  I remember talking about this on like when I covered this and I was like,
• 7:40
  you know what?
• 7:41
  No one's watching Michael Caine for an accent.
• 7:44
  You know what I mean?
• 7:45
  Let Michael Caine be Michael Caine just in like.
• 7:49
  Nicholas, your daughter's got a camel toe.
• 7:51
  What is this? Still does.
• 7:53
  Like that would have been great.
• 7:54
  That would have been fine. Sucking and fucking and chucking rocks.
• 7:59
  Fucking good. What is this all about?
• 8:01
  It's much better.
• 8:03
  It would have been fine.
• 8:04
  Like, you know, transatlantic relationships can happen.
• 8:07
  You can have a British mother, a British father, Michael Caine, father
• 8:10
  and American mother still produce a Nicholas Cage.
• 8:14
  Now you're asking my own best and worst American.
• 8:18
  I don't know. I feel like any time
• 8:20
  someone English tries to do an American accent,
• 8:22
  it's going to end up being some kind of California surfer.
• 8:25
  Yeah, dear.
• 8:27
  Kind of stuff like that.
• 8:28
  Or it's going to be.
• 8:31
  I don't know.
• 8:34
  I'm walking here.
• 8:35
  Is that did I sound like I'm one of you?
• 8:37
  Did I sound good?
• 8:38
  Was that convincing?
• 8:39
  Yeah, exactly. I heard that as I came over here.
• 8:42
  Like the gold standard for me is like the Hugh Laurie house.
• 8:45
  Oh, it's like a bad.
• 8:47
  Yeah, it's just like this is generic American.
• 8:50
  Yeah, it always feels like you have to move your mouth in a really weird way.
• 8:56
  I don't know. It just sounds so strange.
• 8:58
  Yeah, it just sounds like anytime you guys talk,
• 9:00
  it's just a massive struggle to keep that accent going.
• 9:03
  You can stop faking it, guys.
• 9:05
  Oh, thanks. Fuck.
• 9:06
  Yeah, we've all actually secretly been using British accents
• 9:10
  for the last 250 years.
• 9:12
  We're like, let's not let this one go.
• 9:14
  I'm Greek. Yeah.
• 9:17
  Who said the revolution failed?
• 9:19
  You know, we played the long game, guys.
• 9:22
  We tried our best.
• 9:26
  So the weatherman, so the weatherman,
• 9:28
  it's early here.
• 9:29
  Yeah, I'm only on my first cup of coffee.
• 9:32
  It's weird going back and like thinking about a time where money was necessary.
• 9:36
  I said that already. Yeah, you did.
• 9:39
  It's fine. But yeah, like if anyone gives me cash now, I'm really annoyed with them.
• 9:43
  Oh, I was nothing to do with it.
• 9:44
  I got cash the other day because that's less cash I needed to pull out for weed.
• 9:49
  Oh, yeah.
• 9:50
  Cash to me always feels like fake money now, which is really funny,
• 9:53
  because if I have it, I'm like, well, I haven't thought about this.
• 9:56
  I'm not like going to have this deducted from my bank account anymore.
• 9:59
  So it's just sort of like whatever it's cash.
• 10:01
  Yeah, that's like just free good.
• 10:04
  Yeah, this isn't going on the books.
• 10:05
  Yeah, you could spend it on anything, anything like cheap hand jobs.
• 10:12
  How cheap?
• 10:13
  Well, I only carry I only carry one dollar usually.
• 10:16
  So it's going to be a weird sounds callous, a tug and rotation from below.
• 10:22
  Hey, you don't know what I like.
• 10:23
  I don't. But I know what I do.
• 10:26
  Like the hand grip of someone trying to start a motorcycle, just wrenching it down.
• 10:31
  That's the kind of stuff I'm in.
• 10:32
  Start at the top and pull straight down.
• 10:35
  Oh, like on a like a matter.
• 10:37
  Yeah. Yeah. Like an utter like a milking a llama.
• 10:40
  Yeah. Or an alpaca.
• 10:42
  The the boobs.
• 10:46
  See, this is the kind of conversation you just don't get on any other podcast.
• 10:50
  The one dollar hand job conversation.
• 10:52
  You know, cranking it.
• 10:56
  Yeah, this is what brings you back, a Darrell.
• 10:59
  And I'll come back again and again and again, because I want to know
• 11:03
  what two dollars can get me five dollars.
• 11:05
  I want to convert it.
• 11:07
  I was just thinking of like if you showed up with like a two dollar bill
• 11:10
  but want change, but want change.
• 11:14
  So it's is it that hard to get change?
• 11:17
  I know we're like, you know, we're all cashless society, you know, you know, twenty to twenty four.
• 11:20
  Is it that hard to get change in an Arby's?
• 11:23
  We don't have them over here.
• 11:25
  So I can only go by what this film tells me about, like a tooth.
• 11:28
  Circa two thousand and five Arby's.
• 11:30
  Will they fight you on that?
• 11:31
  No, you would be allowed to get change. Yeah.
• 11:34
  I mean, there might be some stores that have certain policies where like,
• 11:37
  I mean, the McDonald's in downtown Seattle, the third and like, yeah,
• 11:43
  you can't do anything there.
• 11:44
  No, you could probably get you could barely order food.
• 11:47
  They're drug dealers out front.
• 11:48
  Yeah, you could probably do that.
• 11:49
  You could probably get a dollar hand job.
• 11:50
  You could also probably do that.
• 11:52
  But you have to get the special code to get in the bathroom.
• 11:54
  So all right.
• 11:56
  So now it's like, what, a five dollar hand job.
• 11:57
  Could you have to buy a drink or something?
• 11:59
  You have to buy coffee.
• 11:59
  Who's wasting their time on bathrooms?
• 12:03
  It's already third and like, yeah, right.
• 12:05
  It's public. Just let it fly.
• 12:08
  Gross.
• 12:09
  Can I get the one dollar McCann job aside?
• 12:13
  A small coffee.
• 12:14
  I spill my McNuggets all over the sidewalk.
• 12:20
  Podcast is over. Yeah.
• 12:22
  Well, it ties into all the throwing of food.
• 12:24
  It does. This movie. So there you go.
• 12:26
  It's not totally.
• 12:28
  How many takes do you think those each took?
• 12:30
  Oh, yeah. Like, did they just have a ton of coats and just pelted
• 12:33
  the fuck out of him?
• 12:34
  Go over Binsky.
• 12:35
  He was throwing all the food at him off camera.
• 12:37
  Yeah, yeah. He was just catching him by surprise.
• 12:40
  No, no.
• 12:41
  So just standing there waiting in cage had to just perform.
• 12:45
  I hope they set up like a whole bunch of blinds
• 12:47
  where you didn't know where Verbin's he was going to come out of.
• 12:51
  Keep him guessing.
• 12:52
  Or what if he just wore a ghillie suit and just like on the sidewalk?
• 12:57
  I saw a dude step out of some like shrubs.
• 13:01
  Uh, it was in Queen Anne, I think,
• 13:05
  wearing a ghillie suit and a scuba mask or like a snorkel.
• 13:10
  I would actually don't know.
• 13:12
  I would actually be afraid in that situation.
• 13:14
  Yeah, that's weird.
• 13:16
  I love it.
• 13:17
  I'd have to approach the scuba man.
• 13:19
  I can't just let that go.
• 13:21
  He just like stepped out and walked away.
• 13:23
  And I was standing there waiting for a bus like
• 13:27
  just enthralled.
• 13:28
  Just did he get on the bus?
• 13:29
  No, he walked a different direction.
• 13:31
  He had no connection with me after that.
• 13:34
  It just two ships passing in the night.
• 13:36
  What was the scuba mask about?
• 13:39
  Where did he come from?
• 13:40
  Where did he go?
• 13:41
  Was this man caught on IJ?
• 13:43
  I want to.
• 13:44
  Why did you not follow him?
• 13:46
  I'm actually furious.
• 13:48
  Oh, man. I know. I really fucked that one up.
• 13:50
  You would have been spotted so fast, though.
• 13:52
  Yeah, I didn't have a ghillie suit.
• 13:54
  I don't know. You look like a lot of people.
• 13:55
  You would have just blended in.
• 13:57
  Yeah. At least once a day,
• 13:58
  I see someone who isn't new that I think is you.
• 14:00
  That's fair. You should always be suspicious of people walking around.
• 14:04
  They could be me.
• 14:05
  I know. Minor disguises.
• 14:07
  Terrifying. Like a snake costume with just my big fucking head on top.
• 14:13
  Watch out for those snakes.
• 14:15
  The snakes be sneaking.
• 14:18
  That man wriggled on his belly, unlocked his jaw,
• 14:22
  ate my six pack carton of eggs from the grocery store.
• 14:25
  Well, she had his skin slithered his forked tongue at me.
• 14:30
  Yeah. And all along, it was me.
• 14:35
  So the weatherman.
• 14:39
  The weatherman.
• 14:40
  Secret for Binsky, he's got some nuggets.
• 14:44
  I mean, what I always enjoy is that he just made this
• 14:47
  between the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, just a little quiet side thing.
• 14:52
  Yeah, like a sandwich cleanser as a director.
• 14:55
  I think it must be like how many years did he lose to like pirates?
• 14:58
  Like eight years, nine years.
• 15:00
  He's like, I need I need a depressed Nicholas Cage having visions of SpongeBob
• 15:05
  and just like fucking later hoes and women dressed as Abraham Lincoln.
• 15:09
  Abraham Lincoln cage in my notes, actually.
• 15:12
  I it's always weird when a film you get in a cage,
• 15:18
  but the film takes place in like a world where pop culture stuff exists.
• 15:23
  Oh, yeah. Like it's always like Brian Gummell, like real news guy.
• 15:28
  Like, OK, so does Nick Cage not exist in this universe?
• 15:31
  What is the rule?
• 15:32
  Oh, yeah. I would assume that that he wouldn't exist.
• 15:36
  I have a theory now, but I'll get to it later
• 15:39
  because it has to do with the unbearable weight.
• 15:40
  That makes sense.
• 15:41
  There were so many things in this movie that I had forgotten about that.
• 15:45
  Just kill me like the tartar sauce monologue.
• 15:49
  I love the tartar sauce.
• 15:50
  I like it.
• 15:51
  I'll say some guys don't.
• 15:52
  Maybe not. Like most guys don't.
• 15:54
  Maybe not most guys, just black guys.
• 15:56
  I just I remember that.
• 15:58
  I'll do it.
• 15:59
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 16:02
  Don't isolate that audio.
• 16:04
  Yeah. Don't challenge me with a good time.
• 16:08
  Yeah. Cancel one third of your podcast.
• 16:10
  That sounds like a bit of a laugh.
• 16:12
  If Nixon is still here, I'm not worried about it.
• 16:14
  It's just going to be me talking to myself.
• 16:17
  I have never said anything problematic on this podcast, so it's not a problem.
• 16:23
  Oh, God.
• 16:25
  Tartar sauce, tartar sauce, tartar sauce, tartar sauce.
• 16:28
  My hips are cold.
• 16:30
  Well, so, Darrell, you said that this is one of your favorites, actually.
• 16:33
  And I'm kind of curious about that, because obviously you've run the game
• 16:36
  that you've seen every single movie.
• 16:38
  So it's surprising to hear it in such high regard.
• 16:42
  Yeah, this is kind of I consider it one of the
• 16:47
  untalked about forgotten gems of Cage.
• 16:49
  This is like genuine good.
• 16:53
  And I don't know if I brought this up before.
• 16:55
  I've definitely brought it up on my podcast.
• 16:56
  There are certain films that I think you recommend to people
• 16:59
  when you want to remind them that Nicolas Cage is actually a good actor.
• 17:03
  And this is up there with them.
• 17:05
  This is kind of like just sort of a mellow, just kind of like sad, grounded Cage.
• 17:11
  There's not that many Cage-isms except when he's like running and throwing that pie
• 17:16
  at that guy like, I gotta see my family.
• 17:18
  They got a pie on me, man.
• 17:20
  Which is great.
• 17:22
  But it kind of comes in at some strange mid-noughties period where he's like just
• 17:28
  he's coming off the back of the awards or nominations for adaptation.
• 17:32
  He's just a national treasure.
• 17:34
  We are on the cusp of the straight to DVD era.
• 17:38
  It's this weird sort of midway point.
• 17:42
  I guess if you think about it, it's kind of like an interesting juxtaposition with
• 17:46
  the unbearable weight of massive talent because I think some may argue that this was one of
• 17:52
  his last good, I'm going to use air quotes there, good performances that was on at the
• 17:57
  cinema and then you sort of consider unbearable weight this movie where he's again, air quotes,
• 18:03
  he's come back.
• 18:05
  It's kind of this weird two tail ends of his career here.
• 18:10
  I think it's a very understated performance.
• 18:13
  It's a very underrated performance.
• 18:16
  Loki, I think is just a very good film that you definitely, wink, wink, cannot watch for
• 18:20
  full on YouTube for free.
• 18:22
  Wink, wink, you can't do that at all.
• 18:24
  That's definitely not how I watched it last night.
• 18:26
  And also, I think this is some of the best Nicolas Cage's hair has ever been in cinema
• 18:31
  as well.
• 18:33
  I think good, a good clean cut.
• 18:36
  I'm inclined to agree.
• 18:37
  I know some people don't like it, but it's a, it's a haircut that you've never seen on
• 18:43
  him before.
• 18:44
  Like it's a very youthful haircut.
• 18:47
  Different do.
• 18:48
  Yeah.
• 18:49
  It's very TV.
• 18:50
  It does it for me.
• 18:51
  Exactly.
• 18:52
  It's the kind of haircut I want on my weatherman.
• 18:55
  John Weatherman.
• 18:57
  Yeah.
• 18:58
  That's a TV name.
• 19:00
  That's a bullshit name.
• 19:01
  Oh, man.
• 19:03
  Do you think whether people actually get shit thrown at them?
• 19:05
  They seem so benign to me.
• 19:07
  I don't know that I'd recognize a weather person.
• 19:10
  I would throw something at Al Roker.
• 19:12
  Yeah.
• 19:13
  Fair.
• 19:14
  Al Roker was weather, right?
• 19:15
  Yeah.
• 19:16
  Yeah.
• 19:17
  I'd throw some shit at him.
• 19:18
  Oh, he needs to eat more.
• 19:19
  Well, he's too skinny.
• 19:20
  Look, I'm not.
• 19:21
  It's because he got like lap band surgery.
• 19:23
  Yeah, but he looks funny now.
• 19:25
  He looked better when he at least was like 50 pounds heavier.
• 19:29
  There are some people that look better with more weight on them.
• 19:32
  I agree with that.
• 19:33
  Sorry, Al Roker.
• 19:34
  And some people look better with a mustache.
• 19:36
  Some people, they've had a mustache forever and then they shave it off and you're like,
• 19:41
  the fuck?
• 19:42
  Oh, yeah.
• 19:43
  One of my apprentices came to work without his mustache the other week and he just looked
• 19:47
  like a child.
• 19:48
  I couldn't handle it anymore.
• 19:49
  Are you a Jedi master?
• 19:50
  What do you mean apprentice?
• 19:51
  Explain yourself, man.
• 19:52
  First, you're a snake man.
• 19:53
  Now you've got apprentices.
• 19:54
  Yeah.
• 19:55
  I'm a journeyman snake man.
• 19:56
  I train with the Jedi.
• 19:57
  I train other people to be public snakes with mustaches.
• 20:03
  My egg apprentices.
• 20:04
  Yeah.
• 20:05
  Well, you're not a snake.
• 20:08
  You have hair.
• 20:09
  Have you seen those Harry Snakes?
• 20:12
  Oh, boy.
• 20:13
  Never mind.
• 20:16
  This man is unhatched apprentice.
• 20:18
  Yes, he is.
• 20:23
  I do like how we get the we get to see what happened to a little Brown Jr. and that woman
• 20:28
  he used to lift.
• 20:29
  Wait, what?
• 20:30
  Davis.
• 20:31
  That was Hope Davis.
• 20:33
  Yeah.
• 20:34
  Well, shit.
• 20:35
  His wife, ex-wife and this movie.
• 20:40
  Put it on a tombstone.
• 20:41
  His ex-wife, his ex-wife.
• 20:44
  There's actually like another grave between them.
• 20:47
  Yeah.
• 20:48
  What happens if you get remarried?
• 20:49
  Do you have to like does the old body get exhumed so that your new wife can go in there?
• 20:52
  Do you just throw him in the same pit?
• 20:54
  Do you get a second?
• 20:55
  Do you get a third plot?
• 20:56
  Can you like double decker a grave?
• 20:59
  Once you went back like bunk beds.
• 21:01
  Yeah.
• 21:02
  Just bury the old wife a little bit deeper.
• 21:05
  You got to take a look on top deeper.
• 21:08
  His wives, his wives.
• 21:11
  You got to plan ahead for that.
• 21:12
  You start out by digging one really deep grave.
• 21:15
  Oh, yeah.
• 21:16
  This guy's like your ambition.
• 21:18
  Yeah.
• 21:19
  It's like, I know I'm getting at least three.
• 21:21
  I'm having many divorces.
• 21:23
  Let's get this thing deep.
• 21:24
  It was always one of my questions about like when people are trying to explain the idea
• 21:28
  of heaven to me when I was a child, like you get to meet all your loved ones.
• 21:31
  Like, what if you get remarried?
• 21:32
  That's an awkward conversation.
• 21:33
  I have a later.
• 21:34
  No, everyone's chill in heaven, though.
• 21:36
  You got time, I guess.
• 21:38
  The Saint Peter just like rolls up one day to your ex-wife and is like, hey, you're needed
• 21:44
  somewhere else.
• 21:45
  Like, Sean's getting remarried.
• 21:46
  You can't stay.
• 21:47
  Like you have to go to other heaven.
• 21:49
  Oh, not heaven to lesbian heaven.
• 21:53
  Also, how fucked up is that?
• 21:54
  It's like they have to be a part of your heaven.
• 21:57
  Like, where's their heaven?
• 21:59
  Like, do you have to spend your afterlife with all of their loved ones, too?
• 22:03
  That's a good point.
• 22:04
  Did my aunt really like me that much?
• 22:05
  Yeah.
• 22:06
  Spend an eternity with you.
• 22:08
  Look, I love my in-laws and all, but I'm not I'm not trying to spend eternity with them.
• 22:14
  You got to meet those people in heaven and just like his wife, like you've had an argument
• 22:20
  like my blowjob lacked enthusiasm because I hated you.
• 22:24
  And now we're all in heaven together.
• 22:26
  What if that's the last thing you heard before you died?
• 22:31
  Like your wife tells you that you die and then the next time you see them is when they
• 22:34
  get to heaven.
• 22:35
  Hold on.
• 22:36
  I do.
• 22:37
  That was another one that like just killed me because I forgot about it.
• 22:43
  BJ's lacked enthusiasm.
• 22:47
  He did not wait to open that note.
• 22:48
  Oh, man.
• 22:49
  No, he was just on it right away.
• 22:51
  OK, so this movie is funny.
• 22:54
  Like I watched it last night and it's obviously it is a comedy, but I didn't laugh a single
• 22:59
  time by myself.
• 23:00
  And maybe that's just the nature of like watching something alone.
• 23:03
  But I was like amused and entertained, but I didn't laugh at all.
• 23:06
  But talking about it out loud right now, I'm like, this is pretty fucking funny.
• 23:09
  Yeah.
• 23:10
  Yeah.
• 23:11
  And that's how it gets you.
• 23:12
  I know I'm very comfortable laughing at like depression and sad things
• 23:17
  because I'm a laugh at me.
• 23:20
  Yeah.
• 23:21
  That's why I hang out with you.
• 23:22
  I feed off of it.
• 23:25
  I think the some of this is kind of like very meta about cage as well, because there's that
• 23:29
  bit where he's doing some of the various like narration and also cage ASMR narration that
• 23:35
  can put me to like comfortably to sleep like, yes, please tell me all the stories in those
• 23:40
  sort of gravely deep, dulcet tones.
• 23:43
  If you don't want your dad, if you don't want your dad to think you're a silly fuck, don't
• 23:46
  slap a man with a glove.
• 23:49
  You'd have to have a dad for that to happen first.
• 23:51
  One nil this guy.
• 23:52
  Yay.
• 23:53
  Ouch.
• 23:54
  It's okay.
• 23:55
  If I've laughed for 32 years, I will laugh for a 33rd.
• 24:00
  Wait, was that a dig at me or a dig at you?
• 24:07
  Both?
• 24:08
  Yeah, sure.
• 24:09
  Why not?
• 24:10
  Who needs him?
• 24:11
  Who needs men?
• 24:12
  I don't need him.
• 24:13
  I am one male father figures who needs him.
• 24:18
  He turned out really good strong boys.
• 24:24
  We are the Sad Lads Club.
• 24:26
  Everyone.
• 24:27
  Everyone's welcome.
• 24:28
  Not me.
• 24:29
  I've got a dad.
• 24:30
  A real strong.
• 24:31
  Fuck you, buddy.
• 24:32
  I bet my dad could dig up your dad and beat the shit out of him any day.
• 24:38
  You know what?
• 24:40
  I want your dad and my dad to fight.
• 24:41
  I'm just going to throw my dad's like ashes in your dad's face.
• 24:44
  It'll get all caught up in his fucking manly ass mustache.
• 24:49
  My dad's still alive.
• 24:50
  I just don't know where he is.
• 24:53
  Like a where's Waldo situation.
• 24:56
  Have you checked into the bushes?
• 24:58
  He could be wearing a ghillie suit and a snorkel.
• 25:02
  My dad's a scuba snake.
• 25:03
  Everyone's going to make fun of me at the playground.
• 25:07
  He's the apprentice.
• 25:08
  One of these days he's going to come back.
• 25:10
  He's like, I need you to take over the family business and just hand you your own snorkel.
• 25:14
  It gives me all of these like old snake skins that he's used.
• 25:18
  Like I don't want any of this.
• 25:21
  Let me inherit your debt.
• 25:22
  I don't want this.
• 25:23
  Joke's on you.
• 25:24
  This is both.
• 25:25
  I still have payments on all of these snake skins.
• 25:30
  No.
• 25:31
  Oh God.
• 25:32
  That would be a fitting way for my life to go.
• 25:39
  What point was I making for my dad ruined my life again?
• 25:42
  No, that was it.
• 25:44
  There was those couples, that couple on the couch.
• 25:47
  They're like, he was talking about his name.
• 25:49
  He had to change his name to David Spritz because it sounded all weathery.
• 25:52
  And like, it's like, I don't like him.
• 25:54
  Like, I like him.
• 25:55
  I like him.
• 25:56
  He's like, he's got an asshole face.
• 25:58
  I don't like his face.
• 25:59
  And I feel that that scene was like very directed about like the split consensus towards Nicholas
• 26:04
  Cage anyway, tackling this stuff about who we are and who we appear to be and where we
• 26:10
  are.
• 26:11
  And as we all approach 40 covered in like frosty all over us, which like interesting
• 26:17
  side fact, there's recently a Wendy's that does these kinds of frosties open up by me
• 26:22
  in the UK.
• 26:23
  We're finally getting one.
• 26:24
  So I have the chance to be hit by a frosty now.
• 26:26
  So that's nice.
• 26:27
  I hope it's because they know that you're Darrell Edge of the podcast.
• 26:31
  They're like, it's that guy for better or worse.
• 26:35
  Love what you do.
• 26:36
  Yeah.
• 26:37
  Big fan.
• 26:38
  I got to see my father today.
• 26:44
  I've inherited so many skins.
• 26:49
  I can't show up with frosty all over me.
• 26:51
  I don't want to look like a fucking fool.
• 26:54
  Snakes are cold blooded.
• 26:55
  I can't handle a frosty.
• 26:59
  I mean, speaking of weird like male figures in the film, though, that subplot with the
• 27:04
  sun and like the creepy counselor, I still don't really get what that's all about.
• 27:09
  I think they actually could have gone harder with the.
• 27:15
  Well, he was just where's that mute button?
• 27:17
  He was just the boring as pedophile I've ever seen.
• 27:21
  Those were some real dry line ratings.
• 27:23
  That's my problem.
• 27:24
  I was like, OK, he had the goatee.
• 27:26
  I'll give him that.
• 27:27
  But classic look.
• 27:30
  Now let's talk about camel toe.
• 27:32
  Oh, I've got some opinions on camel toe.
• 27:35
  I don't.
• 27:36
  I'm totally fine with the color camel toe.
• 27:39
  David Shelley is one of my favorite characters, though.
• 27:42
  She's fucking fantastic.
• 27:45
  I love the placidity of her ordering cigarettes and then like strikes.
• 27:50
  It's like, yeah, God, you're such an old soul.
• 27:53
  Is it that easy for children to get like cigarettes in America as well?
• 27:58
  As long as you're confident.
• 28:00
  According to American film, and I can only base this on this movie and clerks.
• 28:06
  Yes, you're not going to make any money by withholding cigarettes from kids.
• 28:11
  It's fair.
• 28:12
  If you sell them cigarettes now, you've got a customer for at least 15 years.
• 28:17
  Back to Shelley.
• 28:18
  I like Shelley as well.
• 28:20
  She's a she's an awesome character.
• 28:21
  I love just how much she doesn't care
• 28:26
  how she wanted to take up archery to kill animals.
• 28:30
  It's like she is probably going to be a serial killer.
• 28:33
  Yeah. Like unless you age really gets his shit together.
• 28:36
  Shelley is going to hunt her brother.
• 28:41
  I just feel like it's such a good representation of an actual like shitty kid.
• 28:46
  They did a great job of that, like her trying to shoot the bow and just like, oh,
• 28:49
  yeah, oh, I don't want to do this anymore.
• 28:52
  And it's like, yep.
• 28:53
  Yeah. Nice parallel between the movies to Nicholas Cage
• 28:58
  thrusting his enthusiasm for a subject onto a child that's not into it.
• 29:03
  Yeah, for sure. So thrusting his enthusiasm is not a great.
• 29:07
  So I was going to say like
• 29:10
  better than enthusiastically thrusting on a child.
• 29:12
  There you go. We have to cut.
• 29:14
  No, you cowards.
• 29:17
  See, you cowards, you'll cut nothing.
• 29:19
  You cowards. That's right.
• 29:21
  This is our first no edit episode.
• 29:23
  Me and Darryl versus the world.
• 29:26
  Full uncut audio.
• 29:30
  Snake skins everywhere.
• 29:34
  OK, so this movie's good, right?
• 29:36
  Yes, I love this film.
• 29:38
  I saw it like right when it came out on DVD.
• 29:41
  I rented it from a blockbuster.
• 29:43
  I really enjoyed it.
• 29:45
  That'll take you back. No shit.
• 29:46
  I probably paid cash to was a different time.
• 29:50
  So you've all seen this a couple of times now.
• 29:52
  Yes. Big reveals.
• 29:53
  I mean, we talked about some stuff that you noticed,
• 29:54
  but was there anything that like major, major takeaway?
• 29:57
  I'm watching it on fresh eyes.
• 30:00
  I like it. I think it's really well paced movie.
• 30:03
  It doesn't let me wander much.
• 30:05
  The big takeaway that I had as kind of a new memory of it was that
• 30:09
  the music, the Hans Zimmer score is really fucking good.
• 30:12
  Like it fits that movie.
• 30:13
  It's sort of like anxious and weird, but also chill.
• 30:16
  It could use a few more miles.
• 30:20
  Every time SpongeBob.
• 30:25
  I mean, I would I always sort of wondered
• 30:27
  how it was they approached the casting for the character of Shelley
• 30:32
  because they'd have to be the sort of caveat is like, OK,
• 30:35
  you're going to be sort of Nicholas Cage's like daughter.
• 30:37
  At one point, we will be doing a close up on your camel toe.
• 30:40
  We'll do some ice skating stuff as well.
• 30:42
  It's like, what was that bit in the middle?
• 30:43
  It's like it's 2005.
• 30:45
  There's no real child laws.
• 30:47
  We can just do what we want.
• 30:48
  I'm off to make another Pirates of the Caribbean movie in like six months.
• 30:51
  Prosthetics technology hadn't advanced enough to do a fake child
• 30:55
  camel toe at that point.
• 30:56
  You had to go authentic.
• 30:59
  Damn, just like real gorilla recording, too,
• 31:02
  because you got to catch it in the right light.
• 31:04
  Unsuspecting a real candid cam.
• 31:08
  That absolutely was a website in like 2001, for sure.
• 31:12
  And you can't cut this out
• 31:16
  because it's a huge character point for Shelley as well.
• 31:18
  It's all factual stuff.
• 31:22
  God damn it. My dialogue is invincible.
• 31:26
  Stop trapping me with this shit.
• 31:30
  That's the best thing I like about being a podcast guest is
• 31:33
  trapping my hosts. Edit around that, you losers.
• 31:38
  Good luck, assholes.
• 31:40
  Assholes being me.
• 31:43
  Take that future.
• 31:45
  Yeah, right.
• 31:46
  That guy's probably evil.
• 31:47
  That's true. Is it goatee?
• 31:49
  I'm going to do it. He's going to leave it in.
• 31:52
  Good job, evil Peter. Yeah.
• 31:56
  Evil clones, evil snakes.
• 31:58
  What are we talking about?
• 31:59
  All right. So the weatherman on on the grid.
• 32:02
  Good, bad, bad, good, bad, good, good, bad, bad, bad.
• 32:05
  Where's this one? Where's this one pin?
• 32:07
  I think it's a great performance.
• 32:09
  I think it's a solid movie.
• 32:10
  I good, good for me.
• 32:12
  Yeah, this is a good good on my books.
• 32:15
  Darryl, we kind of already know, but put it on tape.
• 32:18
  I'm going to put it right there on tape.
• 32:21
  I would put it somewhere between the fiber grade and SpongeBob.
• 32:24
  Good, good. One of the faves.
• 32:27
  Any any final thoughts?
• 32:29
  Sucking fucking chucking rocks.
• 32:32
  That was such a I loved his like the last conversation
• 32:35
  we see him have with his father is just like,
• 32:37
  I'm sure you have to chuck rocks in this in this shitty world.
• 32:42
  Sometimes you have to chuck something.
• 32:44
  It's like, oh, you're supposed to be a fucking great writer, sir.
• 32:47
  And those are the last words you said to your son.
• 32:49
  Yeah. He also had a living funeral, though.
• 32:51
  So, you know, what a what a guy arrogance, maybe.
• 32:55
  I don't know. But I still want my funeral to have like a three drink minimum.
• 32:59
  I don't want any fake stories about me.
• 33:00
  I don't want to talk about how such a great guy
• 33:03
  mine is going to have commemorative coins minted.
• 33:06
  I love that. Oh, that's tight. I like that. Yeah. Yeah.
• 33:09
  Yeah. Hawaiian shirts for me.
• 33:11
  And it ends with a mandatory suck and fuck.
• 33:15
  What? I want Hawaiian like suits.
• 33:19
  Hawaiian suits and a mandatory suck and fuck is a pretty good way to go.
• 33:22
  Do Hawaiian suits have formal pants or formal?
• 33:25
  I mean, like they're still Hawaiian printed, but like shorts or pants shorts.
• 33:29
  How short short short short.
• 33:32
  Yeah. And I think you don't wear a shirt underneath it.
• 33:34
  It's just the jacket.
• 33:35
  I like it.
• 33:36
  Pedro Pascal and Nick Cage, both would look good in Hawaiian shirts.
• 33:39
  Agreed. Not at the same time, though.
• 33:41
  It's too much. No, too much.
• 33:43
  Especially if you were on acid.
• 33:44
  That'd be a lot. Yeah.
• 33:46
  I think just Nicholas, maybe not acid and like
• 33:49
  sitting across from Nicholas Cage would be too much.
• 33:53
  But it's Nicholas. That man's done some masculine, we know.
• 33:56
  Yeah. At one point, he wanted to tattoo
• 33:59
  dreadlocks in his hair on his scalp.
• 34:02
  I still don't understand that concept. I don't either.
• 34:04
  They're not three dimensional.
• 34:07
  So the unbearable weight of massive talent, his hair in this box may.
• 34:11
  Well, his whole vibe is very.
• 34:14
  Chris Evans.
• 34:16
  Yeah, what we all the three of us watched this together and five minutes
• 34:20
  and I'm like, he's really like channeling like
• 34:23
  real life Chris Evans in terms of his look.
• 34:25
  Brown jacket, hair, that beard.
• 34:28
  I think it's a like my favorite contemporary Nicholas Cage look.
• 34:33
  Like my favorite post 2018.
• 34:37
  Like body type, his beard is like a good length and a nice
• 34:42
  like it got lined up real nicely.
• 34:44
  Obviously nicely dyed. Yeah. Yeah.
• 34:47
  Yeah. It's how dark it all is, is what.
• 34:50
  Yeah, I wouldn't have minded a little salt in that pepper.
• 34:52
  But I mean, I guess the whole point of his character is he's, you know,
• 34:55
  not that he ever went anywhere, but he's like trying to recapture, like that,
• 35:00
  that get that next big movie that's going to really put him back on the map.
• 35:04
  So a little.
• 35:06
  They asked to project you a little bit youth and strength.
• 35:09
  Yeah. And gray hairs don't equate strength.
• 35:14
  Fuck. Yeah.
• 35:16
  I mean, I know that because I exclusively beat up people with gray hair.
• 35:19
  Damn it. Yeah. You're next.
• 35:21
  All right. That's fair.
• 35:22
  And you're a big strong boy.
• 35:24
  I'm a big strong boy.
• 35:26
  I'll wrap you up in my snake arms.
• 35:29
  Snakes don't have arms.
• 35:31
  I don't know if you've ever seen a snake.
• 35:33
  Yeah. I don't know what snakes you're looking at.
• 35:35
  It's like a medieval or Renaissance paintings or pre Renaissance paintings
• 35:39
  where every snail is just like a dragon size.
• 35:42
  It's like, God, have you seen snails terrifying?
• 35:47
  Did you want Europeans or don't did you?
• 35:48
  Did Europe just used to be like covered in iguanas?
• 35:51
  Is that where we get dragons? Probably.
• 35:54
  I mean, you're looking at me.
• 35:56
  Unfortunately, I wasn't there in the 12th century.
• 35:59
  Coward. I'm going to assume.
• 36:02
  Yes. I think like, I saw it.
• 36:05
  Me Lord, a snake with legs.
• 36:07
  We now know that's a lizard.
• 36:09
  What was being described back then?
• 36:12
  You know what? Dictionaries were much smaller.
• 36:15
  They didn't have words for everything.
• 36:17
  So I remember a while back, someone was celebrating
• 36:21
  like the anniversary of the first, like alphabetical dictionary.
• 36:25
  I'm just like, how infuriating would it be before that time?
• 36:29
  What was the cataloging? I don't know.
• 36:31
  Well, you just get a new word.
• 36:32
  You add it to the end because otherwise you had to handwrite the whole thing.
• 36:36
  So you didn't want to have to like start all over.
• 36:39
  It's like, oh, fuck, I forgot about Ruda Vega.
• 36:42
  I got to start from the beginning.
• 36:44
  That's mad.
• 36:45
  But I guess you could just start
• 36:47
  the page Ruda Vega would appear on our Dvark.
• 36:50
  That's two A's.
• 36:51
  I got to start all over again, retranscribe everything.
• 36:56
  Damn, this illuminated manuscript.
• 36:59
  Yeah. What did we do before words were written down?
• 37:02
  Did we just like go off vibes like we categorize this one was like, oh,
• 37:06
  then that one is, oh, it was just a category.
• 37:09
  We went purely on vibes and feelings, which mostly ended up
• 37:12
  in like burning women at the stake.
• 37:14
  It was a different time. We've moved on, guys. Come on.
• 37:16
  It was a simpler time. Yeah.
• 37:18
  You're only allowed to burn them if they try and burn you first.
• 37:20
  Yeah, seems fair. Yeah.
• 37:22
  I think that's the rules.
• 37:24
  It's the golden rules.
• 37:25
  So unbearable weight of massive talent.
• 37:28
  We saw this at like our quarter mark in this whole process.
• 37:32
  So there were some things that I think we didn't like appreciate as much
• 37:37
  the first time, but for the most part, it's like pretty easy watch. Yeah.
• 37:42
  Digging more into like his career, especially during like
• 37:46
  the straight to DVD years, there is a very
• 37:50
  palpable sadness to the beginning of this film.
• 37:53
  It seems a little too real at times.
• 37:55
  Yeah. As somebody who hasn't quite peaked yet.
• 37:59
  I don't know. I haven't felt these feelings of downtroddenness,
• 38:04
  so I couldn't identify. But when is your peak?
• 38:08
  Like 49 usually around like 330 in the afternoon.
• 38:12
  It's all downhill from. Oh, you're just talking about today.
• 38:15
  You haven't peaked. I got it. Yeah.
• 38:18
  Drinking the sadness away.
• 38:20
  That's the secret of podcasting.
• 38:22
  We've all already peaked.
• 38:24
  We've got a fake beard drawn on.
• 38:26
  We're just waiting for someone to send us to a house in Spain.
• 38:29
  There was a period of time on my Zoom where I had accidentally turned on a filter
• 38:34
  that added a beard to my face, but I already have a beard.
• 38:37
  So it was just putting a beard on a beard.
• 38:39
  It's like a hat on a hat.
• 38:40
  It was really confusing because I couldn't quite like it looked like a glitch or something.
• 38:45
  And eventually I finally was like, oh, there's a setting.
• 38:49
  You like that guy who goes to court for his kitten.
• 38:52
  Yeah. I'm prepared to proceed anyways.
• 38:56
  I can assure you I'm not a cat.
• 38:58
  I challenge you to prove that you're not a cat, sir.
• 39:01
  Cats don't talk.
• 39:03
  That we know of.
• 39:04
  I'm just saying these cats are smart.
• 39:07
  Then you put three of them in a trench coat.
• 39:09
  Can you imagine the sheer number of things they could knock off of tables
• 39:13
  if there were three of them in a trench coat getting them to newer heights?
• 39:17
  Just all three at once.
• 39:19
  Yeah.
• 39:20
  Now I got a vault on it where each hand is a cat head.
• 39:24
  That's five.
• 39:24
  That's five cats in a trench coat.
• 39:27
  Too many cats.
• 39:28
  Yeah.
• 39:28
  Right now it's just limp arms hanging down.
• 39:31
  Just a broom.
• 39:32
  Come out of the room and a plunger on either end.
• 39:34
  There you go.
• 39:35
  Real Vincent Adulman vibes.
• 39:38
  Yeah, I think I think five is too many cats for maybe the optimal amount of cats.
• 39:42
  Can the cats coexist long enough because they could get territorial?
• 39:47
  Does its belly start hissing?
• 39:50
  Do you start like seeing like a kind of loony toons fighting inside the trench coat as well?
• 39:55
  I don't know.
• 39:56
  Like these are why the apes get their own planet and not the cats.
• 39:59
  You know.
• 40:00
  Good point.
• 40:01
  How long of a trench coat do you need for the human centipede?
• 40:04
  Like obviously pretty long, but how well would it hold up?
• 40:09
  Sometimes I still quote human centipede.
• 40:13
  Just that guy from good.
• 40:14
  Yes.
• 40:15
  No.
• 40:16
  When I remember how many legs that I've got, which is to prove it.
• 40:21
  Thank you.
• 40:22
  Thank you for clarifying.
• 40:23
  Yeah.
• 40:23
  Human centipede is terrific.
• 40:25
  Did you ever watch the second one?
• 40:27
  I never watched like the sequels.
• 40:29
  I was like, you know what?
• 40:30
  This is fine.
• 40:32
  No, like one lives on fine.
• 40:34
  It lives rent free in my mind, but two is the landlord because
• 40:40
  it goes like full fucking meta where it starts out with like a security guard
• 40:45
  watching the original movie and he's like, I could do this.
• 40:49
  And then he like just starts kidnapping people and he has zero medical credentials
• 40:54
  because he's a night security guard at like a turnstile and starts sewing people mouth to asshole.
• 41:01
  And it does not go well.
• 41:03
  And pretty soon you've got corpses in the middle.
• 41:06
  It's bizarre and hot.
• 41:11
  But I think a trench coat would have improved it
• 41:13
  because then you wouldn't have to look at the dead ones.
• 41:15
  Yeah. You just cover them up.
• 41:16
  Yeah.
• 41:16
  It really does reveal which ones are alive and dead, though.
• 41:19
  I don't want to do this anymore.
• 41:20
  Yeah.
• 41:21
  We talked about the actual movie.
• 41:23
  Yeah, it's great. I love it.
• 41:24
  We were talking about a movie.
• 41:26
  The unbearable length of massive centipedes.
• 41:28
  I remember with the unbearable weight, like our first viewing of it,
• 41:33
  not being completely sold on it, not really liking the third act
• 41:37
  when it turns into an action movie.
• 41:39
  And I still maintain like, be nice to see him like wrestle with the fact that he's a murderer now.
• 41:46
  Yeah, like he definitely kills it.
• 41:48
  Yeah, it's just fine with that.
• 41:50
  Like just having to be a little weird about it.
• 41:51
  That's all I'm asking.
• 41:52
  But upon rewatch and I was like, oh, I'm going to kill him.
• 41:56
  Upon rewatch and being so much more within the Stockholm syndrome
• 42:02
  of only watching the cage movies, I loved it.
• 42:06
  Yeah, you do have to let it be a movie at some point, too.
• 42:10
  I didn't like in our original watching.
• 42:12
  I don't think I acknowledged how much it mirrored the progression of adaptation.
• 42:20
  Yeah.
• 42:21
  And that one even gets a little bit into an action movie in the third act.
• 42:25
  And I got shot, isn't that fucked up?
• 42:30
  And it's terrific.
• 42:31
  I mean, just as a nice little homage back to that one.
• 42:34
  And what better way to pay some respect to adaptation than not even acknowledge it?
• 42:41
  I love the unbearable weight when it came out.
• 42:45
  Just because I got told who to email, I got to go to like
• 42:48
  a kind of advanced screening of it, but it was just really one of those things where they get.
• 42:53
  I mean, he's like such a big quote, celebrities or social media
• 42:56
  influencers just to create some buzz about it.
• 42:59
  And then I'm just there like a stain hoodie going like, I belong here.
• 43:03
  It was like a weird thing because this was like the first sort of big cage movie in a long time
• 43:07
  to come back to like big screens and stuff.
• 43:09
  So I was like sat there like a concerned dad watching their like kid go to like school for
• 43:16
  the first time or something being like a school play like, oh, God, like I hope he remembers his
• 43:20
  lines. I hope everyone likes him like I do.
• 43:22
  And he got some like big laughs and was like, oh, my boy still got it.
• 43:26
  He can do it. He's going to be okay.
• 43:28
  And I felt this parental pride just like watching the movie.
• 43:33
  And I loved it.
• 43:34
  Like I've loved the unsubsequent views, even though I think that in many ways,
• 43:38
  this is like just such a vehicle for Pedro Pascal, if nothing else.
• 43:43
  And I have no problem with that because I'm so on board with like Pedro Pascal now.
• 43:47
  And I wish we could all find some passion in our lives like he has for Nick and this cage in real
• 43:54
  life and on screen as well.
• 43:56
  It's weird watching because when we first watched this, I watched a lot of interviews with the cast
• 44:01
  about this film and that cage gives a good interview and his press circuit for this movie is
• 44:07
  clearly him being so uncomfortable with him being a meme.
• 44:11
  I feel like a lot of movies just he's trying to face the fact that he's actually trying to
• 44:16
  be a meme.
• 44:17
  I think more so in dream scenario more recently, but he's like the only celebrity who's been,
• 44:23
  I guess, memed to the extent that he has like who else is just having a losing their shit compilation
• 44:30
  go online.
• 44:32
  I mean, Mel Gibson, but that's
• 44:33
  Yeah, from a performance perspective, no one really.
• 44:40
  But you know, but not as much.
• 44:42
  Yeah, that's different, but that's really like a one note kind of vibe.
• 44:45
  Great ass.
• 44:46
  Yeah.
• 44:48
  Pacino?
• 44:49
  Yes.
• 44:51
  Now I know your type.
• 44:52
  All right.
• 44:53
  Well, I also like, I think this just confirms my theory that Nicholas Cage just loves dressing
• 44:58
  up like old man because he does it in pig army of one, not necessarily dressed like
• 45:04
  one, but he's just a bald old man in dream scenario.
• 45:07
  I think part of him, he just loves to be just like a fucking like weasley old guy who
• 45:13
  doing that Peggy Sue voice.
• 45:15
  He loves to be like a crazy little guy.
• 45:17
  He just fucking loves it.
• 45:19
  It's probably in his contract that he has to have at least three days of shooting in
• 45:23
  comfortable attire.
• 45:24
  He's like, I'll do everything else in leather jackets and tight shirts, but you got to give
• 45:29
  me at least a couple scenes in a cardigan or a bathrobe.
• 45:33
  I mean, that's, you know, you, you set that standard on day one on, you know, shoot day
• 45:37
  one and they have to keep it.
• 45:39
  Jake Johnson has a great story about how on New Girl, he wore his like trailer slippers
• 45:46
  to the set and someone's like, are those your those slippers?
• 45:50
  Like they were in my trailer.
• 45:51
  I thought they were wardrobe and they're like, OK, I guess.
• 45:54
  And he got to wear them for the rest of that show.
• 45:56
  Whereas Mac Greenfield is like, yeah, you have to wear a suit and those fucking shoes
• 45:59
  for like 12 hours and I get to wear these.
• 46:03
  I would hold out until like 60 percent of the film is in the can before I'm just like,
• 46:08
  I'm wearing this now.
• 46:10
  What are you going to do?
• 46:11
  Replace me.
• 46:11
  Good luck.
• 46:12
  That's expensive.
• 46:13
  This is the Wesley Snipes scenario.
• 46:15
  Yeah, I'm not going to open my fucking video Photoshop eyes on me.
• 46:19
  Yeah.
• 46:21
  What you don't know about this blade three.
• 46:26
  Wesley Snipes is just such a fucking diva and doesn't want to do anything.
• 46:31
  Hates the director.
• 46:32
  Ryan Reynolds hates Ryan Reynolds.
• 46:33
  So that the opening scene where you first introduced Blayden, he's honest.
• 46:37
  He's in a morgue.
• 46:39
  All Wesley Snipes has to do for the scene is open his eyes like his eyes of like shoot open,
• 46:43
  but he refuses to do it.
• 46:44
  He just won't do it.
• 46:46
  So they like CG in him open in his eyes and it's terrible.
• 46:50
  Yeah, it looks really bad.
• 46:52
  No, early CG is the best CG.
• 46:55
  I stand by that.
• 46:57
  Ghost Rider one man.
• 46:58
  Fuck, that's so bad.
• 47:00
  Ghost Rider one holds up shockingly well.
• 47:02
  Blade two.
• 47:03
  The Ghost Rider holds up.
• 47:04
  The water.
• 47:05
  Yeah, fucking dusty boy.
• 47:07
  Wet boy.
• 47:07
  Wet boy.
• 47:08
  The wet bandit.
• 47:09
  Yeah, go back and watch some black on.
• 47:12
  Oh, my God.
• 47:12
  Spawn is incredible.
• 47:14
  CG and spawn is.
• 47:16
  What's the huge thing that cape Malbo Malbo?
• 47:19
  Yeah, Malbo.
• 47:20
  Yeah, that scene is so egregiously bad where its mouth is just like hinged open.
• 47:25
  Yeah, and it's like, Spawn, you are my servant.
• 47:29
  I'm going to make you do how things your voice is better for this.
• 47:33
  Oh, man, I thought Spawn was going to be so fucking cool.
• 47:38
  Me too.
• 47:39
  Oh, well, maybe we could get a new spawn movie.
• 47:42
  We won't.
• 47:43
  Nobody cares about Spawn anymore.
• 47:44
  I don't know.
• 47:45
  He's fucking still trying.
• 47:46
  What's his name?
• 47:47
  McFarland.
• 47:47
  McFarland.
• 47:48
  Every every six months like McFarland, like we'll talk to anyone who will interview him
• 47:53
  and be like, it's happening.
• 47:54
  We're 25 years out of the 90s.
• 47:56
  Nobody needs Spawn anymore.
• 47:58
  Yeah, look, if we're not getting National Treasure three, we're not getting a new spawn.
• 48:02
  That's the agreement.
• 48:03
  Nothing else happens until National Treasure three.
• 48:06
  No, that's the deal.
• 48:09
  That's the deal.
• 48:10
  Deal.
• 48:10
  Malbolja.
• 48:11
  The day they get turtle top on board, the day they locked down Trent Reznor for Spawn,
• 48:17
  I will believe that it's happening to play Spawn.
• 48:20
  No, to do the soundtrack.
• 48:21
  Oh, yeah, because he does fucking kick ass soundtrack.
• 48:24
  Oh, yeah.
• 48:25
  But nobody else could do a spawn soundtrack.
• 48:27
  No, I want Danny Elfman to do a spawn soundtrack.
• 48:30
  Nobody else could do a successful spawn soundtrack.
• 48:33
  I didn't say successful.
• 48:34
  No, I said it, though.
• 48:37
  Any.
• 48:37
  Now we're moving the goalposts.
• 48:38
  Yeah, obviously, because I didn't like your answers.
• 48:41
  So I'm changing the game.
• 48:44
  It's kind of this podcast works.
• 48:45
  Yeah.
• 48:46
  So on this podcast, we're taking 64 Nicolas Cage movies, the bracket style,
• 48:51
  and we're going to figure out what the cage is to film is as decided by Nick and myself.
• 48:55
  Perfect.
• 48:56
  I'm not even going to put that at the beginning.
• 48:57
  I wouldn't.
• 48:58
  OK, so this movie, I don't think we ever touched on it, but why the fuck did it get made?
• 49:05
  I think the right is Tom Gormican really like Nicolas Cage.
• 49:13
  So I got to like speak to them and like my podcast somehow.
• 49:18
  And I was like, with a movie studio is like, how did how did they agree to this?
• 49:23
  And like, yeah, they were just on board.
• 49:25
  So I think the movie studios have always had faith in our boy.
• 49:30
  I think it's just an interesting premise as well, though, that it's a Nicolas Cage movie
• 49:34
  about Nicolas Cage becoming Nicolas Cage and also battling Nicolas Cage, co-starring Pedro Pascal.
• 49:41
  It brought me lots of joy.
• 49:43
  I wish I had a Nicolas Cage shrine in the secret room where I live, but I just like,
• 49:49
  I want those face off wax work figures in my house.
• 49:52
  It's grotesque. I'll give you twenty thousand for that.
• 49:57
  I think it's maybe my favorite scene.
• 49:58
  I love the acid scene, but I think the reveal of his fandom is probably my favorite.
• 50:04
  I think so.
• 50:07
  The whole premise of this film is just like, oh, Nick Cage is, you know,
• 50:12
  we all think of him as like this weird, like kind of has been like bygone actor who
• 50:17
  just whose career is just completely like, oh, I'm going to be a
• 50:17
  man, but he's so much of his later work that came out before this film.
• 50:28
  And they even reference part of it in this film is so good.
• 50:31
  So like Mandy is referenced in this film, but like Pig came out before this.
• 50:37
  Joe came out before this.
• 50:39
  Like he has such solid work after this.
• 50:42
  It seems odd that two normal people who aren't obsessive like me,
• 50:47
  like they still think of Nick Cage is like a bad actor.
• 50:51
  I think it's group think a lot on. Yeah.
• 50:53
  You know, you hear it. It's like, oh, he's a shitty actor.
• 50:56
  He's over the top. He's wild, whatever.
• 50:58
  And then everyone's just like, oh, yeah, that's true.
• 50:59
  Look, look at his big weird eyes.
• 51:01
  Well, you don't do the homework and you only watch the like
• 51:04
  Internet compilations of him reciting the alphabet.
• 51:08
  And you're like, well, yeah, that's not going to be a good movie.
• 51:10
  It's like, well, no, it's a great movie.
• 51:13
  It's going to win. Yeah, I love that movie.
• 51:16
  But like, you know, I'll have those conversations.
• 51:18
  I've told the story where I was at a wedding
• 51:20
  and I told someone I was doing this podcast and like
• 51:22
  Nick Cage is a terrible actor. What's he been in?
• 51:24
  And the guy just starts like naming like movies and gets to like,
• 51:27
  you know, his second hand naming films.
• 51:29
  He likes like, wait, is Nick Cage a good actor?
• 51:31
  I'm like, yes. See, you proved yourself.
• 51:35
  Yeah. It's like, well, this is kind of rock face off leaving Las Vegas.
• 51:39
  The weatherman, Peggy Suga, wait a minute,
• 51:42
  that moon's draw. Oh, fuck.
• 51:47
  Guys, I got to leave this wedding right now.
• 51:50
  I got to watch Moonstruck.
• 51:53
  Guardian Tess.
• 51:55
  Guardian Tess is a terrible film.
• 51:59
  I don't know if it's terrible, but it's not in a conversation for me
• 52:02
  when I start telling people about Nicholas King.
• 52:04
  No, it wouldn't be high on mine either.
• 52:05
  I barely remember Doug Chesnick until watching the unbearable weight of massive talent.
• 52:09
  OK, here's the thing we really need to talk about, though.
• 52:13
  Paddington two is pretty good. Yeah, I really enjoyed it.
• 52:17
  Yeah. OK, so have you watched Paddington two?
• 52:19
  And for context, for anyone who's listening to this, who doesn't who hasn't seen unbearable weight.
• 52:23
  What's wrong with you? Go watch it. Turn off this podcast.
• 52:25
  Pedro Pascal lists Paddington two as his third favorite movie of all time.
• 52:30
  Have you watched it, Darrell?
• 52:32
  I have. I have seen it.
• 52:34
  And I think the references to Paddington two, whenever I've seen it in the in the cinema,
• 52:39
  I've always got like the biggest laughs because you just don't expect it.
• 52:42
  But then you're like, yeah, no, Paddington two is great.
• 52:44
  We all have Paddington two.
• 52:47
  And he brings you to tears.
• 52:50
  The bear gets arrested. Why would you arrest a bear?
• 52:54
  Why is the bear not using his bear powers to kill?
• 52:57
  That was my thing at the end when he's like when the train's going underwater.
• 53:00
  I'm like, use your bear strength, dude. You're a bear.
• 53:02
  Oh, he had that really good hard stare. Yeah.
• 53:05
  And that was intimidating. Yeah.
• 53:06
  Like the animators did a great job on that.
• 53:09
  Animators in that whole movie did a great job. That's a visually stunning film.
• 53:12
  I kind of liken Paddington two to being like the UK's national treasure.
• 53:19
  Like he goes on a little heist. He gets like he has adventures.
• 53:25
  It's good. Yeah, I felt I got the same amount of energy from Paddington two as I did from.
• 53:30
  We have Nicholas Cage. You have Paddington.
• 53:32
  Yeah. I mean, it's a fair trade, I think.
• 53:36
  It's like over here, like anytime someone of like high, high significance, like a royal dies,
• 53:43
  someone will post a picture on the internet of like Paddington two, like holding their hand.
• 53:46
  And it makes it look like Paddington is the Grim Reaper.
• 53:51
  Just leading them away.
• 53:53
  And if you're not a fan of the royal family, as I'm not particularly,
• 53:56
  I like the idea that the last thing they see before it all goes dark is just this like
• 54:00
  bad, boring marmalade on you and just unveiling his hood.
• 54:05
  No, it's like a reservoir dog scene where Paddington's got you like tied to a chair and
• 54:11
  like stuck in the middle with you. And he's like, just pouring marmalade on you before.
• 54:16
  I don't know, bear eating you.
• 54:19
  I think what I want going forward, you know, how they're building like the universal monsters
• 54:23
  thing going forward. I want to see eventually like Paddington versus Winnie the Pooh,
• 54:29
  who is the ultimate jammying bear. Like Paddington's like, I have the power of a
• 54:36
  cuck and I won't fight anyone. And then Winnie the Pooh is like, I love eating boss.
• 54:41
  So I think there's two incredible bears that will be fighting going forward.
• 54:48
  You know, I don't know who a third good bear is.
• 54:49
  Then Sam Jackson turns up and he's building a team.
• 54:55
  That's how it has to be.
• 54:57
  Teddy Ruxpin is the bear that got left out. He goes completely rogue and like he's the villain.
• 55:04
  Someone gave him a bad tape to play.
• 55:06
  Yeah, a corrupted cassette.
• 55:09
  Can they fight, can they fight terrorism? It's like a second plane has hit the honey tower.
• 55:14
  I don't have to cut that out. I don't know. Is that too soon? Is that too soon?
• 55:20
  20 years. That's like honey.
• 55:25
  You can say whatever you want because it was all a conspiracy from the start.
• 55:29
  So it's all fake news.
• 55:31
  Don't talk to your apprentice about it.
• 55:33
  I'm just saying, man, check your Reddit sheep. Wake up sheeple.
• 55:48
  And I've come on this podcast to tell you all my findings. All right.
• 55:53
  Wake up.
• 55:54
  9-11 was an inside job. The bears did it.
• 55:59
  It was the donkey.
• 56:00
  It was a fucking Eeyore.
• 56:03
  God, it would be Eeyore, wouldn't it?
• 56:06
  OK, I mean, yeah, what do you guys think? This movie is it's a weird movie.
• 56:10
  It's very meta. It's very self-referential. It's very cage referential.
• 56:13
  But like as a movie, it's pretty fun.
• 56:16
  I think it holds up a lot more than I thought it would.
• 56:19
  And I wound up enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would on a rewatch.
• 56:22
  It certainly appeals heavily to us.
• 56:24
  I want to know how somebody not balls deep in Nick Cage's career would take the movie.
• 56:33
  Like, I don't know what my grandma would think about this movie.
• 56:38
  She'd probably think it was nice.
• 56:40
  She's like, oh, that was nice.
• 56:41
  Like, I'm sure if you just know the meme that is Nick Cage, this movie's for you.
• 56:45
  But if also you're weirdos like us, this movie's also for you.
• 56:48
  Yeah.
• 56:50
  Oh, OK, here's my string board theory.
• 56:52
  My crazy fucking like.
• 56:53
  Oh, yeah, good.
• 56:54
  This is this is this is the center of the cage reverse of my fucking string board.
• 56:58
  Nick Cage plays all these.
• 57:00
  The actor Nick Cage exists within this universe for all the Nick Cage movies are real.
• 57:06
  So the movie Face Off is based on a real story in that universe.
• 57:12
  Wouldn't all of them be?
• 57:13
  Yes. It's a very weird world.
• 57:16
  But the actor Nick Cage exists in this universe to play those character,
• 57:21
  to play those characters who are based on real life stories.
• 57:23
  So he only does true story with me.
• 57:28
  So Mandy's a true story.
• 57:29
  There you go.
• 57:30
  So the way the Wicker Man's a true story as well.
• 57:32
  There you go.
• 57:33
  Yeah.
• 57:34
  Every Nicholas Cage film is just Nicholas Cage reenacting a tragedy.
• 57:38
  Yes.
• 57:39
  Because he's just like a grief tourist and just loves, loves the drama.
• 57:45
  There's one hole, one glaring plot hole in your string theory.
• 57:50
  World Trade Center.
• 57:51
  Yeah.
• 57:51
  Yeah. He rebuilt the towers just to do that movie.
• 57:57
  No, it was fiction from the get go.
• 58:00
  He went, he went from ground zero to ground hero.
• 58:03
  You're starting to learn my terrible jokes where I'm going to take them.
• 58:06
  Also, oh God, that's scary.
• 58:08
  Also based on this theory, the rapture happened.
• 58:11
  True.
• 58:11
  Twice.
• 58:13
  One of them was kind of alien.
• 58:14
  So like Angelians.
• 58:17
  I think I'd like the Nicholas Cage, uh, bear multiverse crossover where they all
• 58:24
  converge at ground zero and then they look down and there's just like honey at their feet.
• 58:29
  Maybe honey does melt steel beams.
• 58:32
  And then like honey aliens, honey terrorists come down.
• 58:35
  It's like giant bees, giant bees cause nine.
• 58:39
  I like that bees are just honey terrorists.
• 58:42
  Well, we did steal it from them.
• 58:44
  It's true.
• 58:44
  We did start this war.
• 58:45
  That's a good movie.
• 58:46
  Movie had a point.
• 58:47
  Jerry Seinfeld had a point.
• 58:49
  That's all I'm saying.
• 58:50
  It was on his butt and that was me.
• 58:53
  Cause it's a stinger.
• 58:53
  That's a stinger joke.
• 58:56
  So all right.
• 58:57
  At this point, I don't know that there's too much more to say about this movie.
• 59:00
  We haven't said anything about this movie.
• 59:01
  There isn't that much to say about this movie.
• 59:03
  It's a love story romp for Nicholas Cage people.
• 59:07
  Yeah.
• 59:07
  You know, it's like, yeah, you don't go to see this movie if you don't know or like
• 59:12
  Nicholas Cage, there's zero, zero overlap.
• 59:15
  But yeah, I mean, do you guys have other thoughts, other final things
• 59:18
  you want to say about this?
• 59:19
  I mean, other than like people should watch it.
• 59:22
  If they listen to this podcast, you probably like Nick Cage enough to watch this movie.
• 59:27
  Yeah, it'd be weird if you were listening to this podcast without some liking for Nicholas Cage.
• 59:33
  I think that's a fair amount of our friends.
• 59:35
  Nobody likes us that much, though.
• 59:39
  No, I don't have anything else really on the subject of Unbearable Weight.
• 59:44
  It's a terrifically fun movie.
• 59:46
  Yeah, I agree.
• 59:49
  It's one of those movies where I think if you have absolutely no interest in Nicholas Cage,
• 59:53
  it's probably not going to appeal to you.
• 59:56
  But I've had people sort of come to me like after the fact and say like,
• 59:59
  oh, I watched that Unbearable Weight movie.
• 1:00:00
  It's actually really fun.
• 1:00:02
  So I think it's like, you will enjoy it.
• 1:00:05
  I saw like one review on Letterboxd, which I think kind of sums it up,
• 1:00:09
  which I think like on one hand, if you are Nicholas Cage build, as we are,
• 1:00:14
  you'll get the most out of it.
• 1:00:15
  You'll pick up on a lot of the Nicholas Cage things.
• 1:00:17
  It's kind of like the best of bullet points of Nicholas Cage that you're probably aware of
• 1:00:22
  this movie hits.
• 1:00:23
  But if you're kind of lesser enthused, it's one of those movies where maybe you won't laugh
• 1:00:29
  at everything.
• 1:00:29
  And if you don't laugh at like Cage and Pascal doing acid together, something's wrong with you.
• 1:00:34
  But for the most part, it'll be one of those movies where if not laughing out loud,
• 1:00:38
  it'll be that kind of like through the nostril, like kind of like laughs like that,
• 1:00:43
  which I think you'll enjoy it.
• 1:00:45
  On paper, like a very interesting idea.
• 1:00:49
  For me, it kind of holds up.
• 1:00:50
  I can see how the execution maybe like could put some people off.
• 1:00:54
  Again, like we say, when it just becomes an action movie in like the last third,
• 1:01:00
  I hoped they were going to have some like more of like the Nicky character,
• 1:01:04
  like the internal Nicholas Cage dressed like he's Terry Wogan in the view from like the 90s.
• 1:01:08
  I hope they do a sequel so then they can talk about all the Cage films if they're real
• 1:01:14
  fucking fans and not poses.
• 1:01:16
  Yeah, I think Unbearable Weight will work its way into my like,
• 1:01:21
  I'm home sick from work kind of movies.
• 1:01:24
  Like they used to be just like the oceans movies.
• 1:01:27
  I fucking love staying home from work and just watching oceans 11.
• 1:01:32
  I don't even have to be sick to enjoy doing that so long as I'm not at work.
• 1:01:36
  But I think this could easily be one where it's like, oh, you know, I have an off day.
• 1:01:41
  I'm all by myself.
• 1:01:43
  I get to just be on the couch with my dog and watch this movie.
• 1:01:46
  Perfect.
• 1:01:47
  Of both these films.
• 1:01:49
  Yeah, The Weatherman has held up since I first watched it, you know, almost 20 years ago.
• 1:01:53
  And I think the further away we get from the meme of Nick Cage or like if he does actually
• 1:02:00
  retire like he's planning to or even in, you know, 10, 20 years when he's not really in the zeitgeist,
• 1:02:07
  this movie isn't going to be easy to recommend to people who aren't here for it.
• 1:02:12
  You know, I was thinking slightly off of what you said here with Nicholas Cage's comments about
• 1:02:20
  future retirement and stuff.
• 1:02:22
  He's saying like, oh, he's got like four or five movies that he wants to make.
• 1:02:26
  So but I was thinking that doesn't mean he's limiting himself to four or five movies.
• 1:02:31
  It's like there's maybe four or five like solid roles he wants to hit, but he'll fill in the time
• 1:02:37
  between. So I think we've still got maybe maybe he'll play Spider-Man in live action.
• 1:02:42
  Yeah, maybe he will.
• 1:02:44
  We can say we were here for all of it.
• 1:02:47
  The cage to TV transition starts now, baby.
• 1:02:51
  And then we'd have to do weekly recaps.
• 1:02:54
  I don't know. I think that's it decided.
• 1:02:59
  It sounded fairly definitive.
• 1:03:01
  What?
• 1:03:02
  I don't know. Are we going with Weatherman?
• 1:03:04
  Oh, yeah. I mean, my votes for Weatherman.
• 1:03:07
  It's you know, it's a it's a real delightful movie.
• 1:03:11
  It's I love the cleanness of his performance and like starting from the very beginning,
• 1:03:18
  he's knee deep in tension and like as he's waiting for this job offer and the
• 1:03:25
  shittiness of his separation from his wife.
• 1:03:27
  And I like the way he handles it, which is poorly.
• 1:03:31
  And I like watching him.
• 1:03:34
  Yeah, just he plays it really well.
• 1:03:38
  And he's a kind of a self-absorbed father.
• 1:03:41
  And he it's an enjoyable movie for me all the time.
• 1:03:44
  Yeah.
• 1:03:45
  Plus camel toe.
• 1:03:47
  I do have one fun, random Nicholas Cage story from this week, though,
• 1:03:51
  not about Nicholas Cage, just an experience I had.
• 1:03:54
  Nick and I had lunch yesterday and we were at a local restaurant bar
• 1:04:00
  and Pig was playing behind Nick on the TV.
• 1:04:03
  But the subtitles were like way off sync.
• 1:04:06
  So they were like a whole scene out of sync.
• 1:04:08
  They were like they were 10 minutes out of sync.
• 1:04:11
  That's fucked up.
• 1:04:11
  So like when he's like going and talking to what's the guy's name?
• 1:04:17
  Amir?
• 1:04:18
  No, the restaurateur, the restaurateur, when he goes and talks to him at first,
• 1:04:21
  the subtitles are for Finway, Finway.
• 1:04:24
  The subtitles are for all the stuff going on underground.
• 1:04:27
  But where it's synced up perfectly for me is when he's like going and sitting
• 1:04:30
  with handpan and the subtitles are him dressing down the gastro chef.
• 1:04:36
  So it's just Nick Cage saying just destroying the soul of a small child.
• 1:04:40
  Fantastic.
• 1:04:41
  It was astounding.
• 1:04:42
  Yeah, that's a good mashup.
• 1:04:43
  It was great.
• 1:04:45
  Yeah. More of that.
• 1:04:46
  More child abuse going forward.
• 1:04:49
  That is something that Nicholas Cage movies have been sorely lacking.
• 1:04:53
  That's that's that's the line to go out on.
• 1:04:55
  I know, right? Solid finish to that episode.
• 1:04:59
  A real laugh riot.
• 1:05:00
  More child abuse in Cage movies, please and thank you.
• 1:05:06
  There it is.
• 1:05:07
  There's the same trombone.
• 1:05:08
  Yeah.
• 1:05:09
  Perfectly timed.
• 1:05:10
  Yay, we did it.
• 1:05:11
  We did it, everyone.
• 1:05:14
  What a joy.
• 1:05:14
  What a pleasure.
• 1:05:16
  Thank you for inviting me back on.
• 1:05:17
  Maybe we can do it again next year.
• 1:05:19
  One appearance a year.
• 1:05:21
  Lock it in.
• 1:05:21
  Oh, no, we're speeding up, though.
• 1:05:23
  It gets faster from here because we slow down every sequence.
• 1:05:29
  We'll see you in six months.
• 1:05:32
  Yeah. So next up, we're going to have our matchups where it will be two guests arguing hard
• 1:05:38
  for one movie each.
• 1:05:40
  Oh, interesting.
• 1:05:42
  One that you really go super hard for.
• 1:05:46
  And Sean and I are going to dress up like old timey judges with powdered wigs.
• 1:05:50
  I was going to dress up as Judge Dredd.
• 1:05:52
  I mean, you can do that too.
• 1:05:52
  You can just dress as Judge Dredd.
• 1:05:54
  As long as you're a judge.
• 1:05:56
  Just put a wig underneath it.
• 1:05:59
  I just if eight millimeter goes forward, Judge Dredd,
• 1:06:02
  if eight millimeter goes forward, I want to see who goes hard for that movie
• 1:06:06
  and then stop being friends with them.
• 1:06:08
  Yeah. I who loves snuff that much.
• 1:06:11
  Can have a normal judge, Judge Dredd, Judge Reinhold, all the big judges.
• 1:06:16
  Oh, yeah, that's good.
• 1:06:17
  I can get you.
• 1:06:18
  Can we get you a dry hole?
• 1:06:19
  Probably. He's got to be on cameo
• 1:06:23
  and one judge, Judy, to rule over all of us.
• 1:06:27
  Yes, the one judge to rule them all.
• 1:06:29
  And she picks Primal.
• 1:06:31
  Yeah.
• 1:06:33
  Darrell, do you want to do your spiel about what it is you do
• 1:06:37
  and where people can find you?
• 1:06:39
  I guess so.
• 1:06:42
  You can find me on my own sort of Nicholas Cage podcast.
• 1:06:46
  That is Cage Rage, a Nicholas Cage podcast in which
• 1:06:50
  I have currently covered all the movies of the man I called
• 1:06:54
  the Golden Hog of Hollywood, Nicholas Cage on my journey to true Cage Nirvana.
• 1:06:59
  That's on all the usual streaming services.
• 1:07:02
  And my second podcasting venture is called Getting Defoe You,
• 1:07:06
  a dedicated Defoe podcast in which myself and I believe
• 1:07:11
  another guest of this podcast, Petros Patsylovos, we have joined forces
• 1:07:15
  to cover all of the Dehives, all of the DeLows, all things Willem Defoe,
• 1:07:21
  all aboard our Defoe commotion train, run all the business at Defoe You pod.
• 1:07:28
  We're in the middle of recording our third season now.
• 1:07:30
  It is a lot of fun as a come and join aboard the Defoe commotion train.
• 1:07:35
  God, that's so polished.
• 1:07:37
  Yeah, we're on social media.
• 1:07:40
  You can find us.
• 1:07:42
  If you try, Peter barely can pull together the names of our 12 Patreon supporters.
• 1:07:48
  I do have it in front of me, but.
• 1:07:50
  Coward.
• 1:07:51
  I know sometimes I do it off the dome, but yeah, thank you to our supporters,
• 1:07:54
  Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico, Matt and Adam, and to our Cage dancers, Ira, John,
• 1:08:01
  Freeman, Lance and Nathan.
• 1:08:03
  And who? Yeah, got it.
• 1:08:05
  Motherfuckers.
• 1:08:07
  We're a well-oiled machine.
• 1:08:10
  Yeah, we're something.
• 1:08:12
  Oh, man. Well, oiled.
• 1:08:13
  Did I ever tell you about that dream I had?
• 1:08:16
  It was like maybe 15 years ago.
• 1:08:20
  I was a fireman and I was like running up this staircase in a building that was burning
• 1:08:26
  and I kick in the door and there's this mom and her daughter and they're like,
• 1:08:31
  obviously trapped by the flames on the other side of the room.
• 1:08:35
  And I just make eye contact with them and then I tear open the front of my fireman suit
• 1:08:41
  and I'm just like, where's the fire?
• 1:08:43
  Just start rubbing baby oil on my chest.
• 1:08:46
  And that's when I woke up.
• 1:08:51
  I'd watch that.
• 1:08:52
  I don't know.
• 1:08:52
  Very fantastic.
• 1:08:53
  Yeah, that's more of the things I dream about.
• 1:08:57
  Being a sexy, sexy fireman.
• 1:09:00
  Bye bye.
• 1:09:15
  Yeah, you know, some of our friends have goatees,
• 1:09:17
  but that's just because they can't grow the in-betweeny bits.
• 1:09:19
  Have you checked?
• 1:09:21
  That they can't grow the in-betweeny bits?
• 1:09:23
  No, that that's the reason why they have the goatee.
• 1:09:25
  I've never asked.
• 1:09:26
  There's three options.
• 1:09:27
  They can't grow the in-betweeny bits.
• 1:09:30
  They're a pedophile or.
• 1:09:34
  They're spate.
• 1:09:34
  They're their ship captain.
• 1:09:36
  Even from the past.
• 1:09:37
  Yeah, even past or future.
• 1:09:38
  That's true.
• 1:09:39
  Yeah.
• 1:09:39
  So there's four.
• 1:09:41
  I mean, that just goes with evil clones.
• 1:09:44
  My past and future are definitely evil clones of me.
• 1:09:48
  Only now are you getting the correct version.
• 1:09:52
  I feel like one of them has this one of them just has the money shops.
• 1:09:55
  I do good mud and chops.
• 1:09:56
  Yeah. So do those evil clones have dads that taught them how to shave?
• 1:10:04
  Is that why they're so evil?
• 1:10:06
  That's the only reason to have a dad.
• 1:10:09
  And audio engineers.
• 1:10:12
  Oh, yeah.
• 1:10:13
  Goatees, but they have to have a ponytail.
• 1:10:15
  Yeah.
• 1:10:15
  That's what keeps them on the.
• 1:10:16
  It can be a skull it too, but it's got to be a ponytail.
• 1:10:19
  Yeah. You can't have a goatee and like a nice haircut.
• 1:10:21
  It's goatee and something that hangs past the shoulders.
• 1:10:25
  Yeah.
• 1:10:25
  Yep. That sounds right.
• 1:10:28
  Nice.
• 1:10:32
  Darrell, what is the general like feeling of Hawaiian shirts in England?
• 1:10:38
  Like, can you handle seeing that much color at one time?
• 1:10:43
  I say this as someone who unironically wears them all year round because I love them.
• 1:10:49
  They get unfairly maligned as ugly shirts over here.
• 1:10:53
  It's like, oh, what's the occasion? Are you in like a stag do or something?
• 1:10:55
  It's like, no, I'm autistic. Let me have this.
• 1:11:00
  I'm fatherless and autistic. Let me have my fun.
• 1:11:04
  On construction sites here, we have something called Aloha Fridays,
• 1:11:09
  where people wear Hawaiian shirts on their construction sites.
• 1:11:13
  It really makes Fridays feel nice. I like it a lot.
• 1:11:17
  That's the kind of construction worker I want in my neighborhood.
• 1:11:20
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:11:21
  I've got one with like nice two cans and like flowers and stuff all over it.
• 1:11:25
  It's good.
• 1:11:26
  I remember when we were moving once, Meredith had like
• 1:11:30
  tried to give away all my Hawaiian shirts, like tried to goodwill them like behind my back.
• 1:11:36
  And now you're divorced.
• 1:11:37
  And now we're divorced. But last time I saw them, like when I went to a wedding in Virginia,
• 1:11:41
  last time I saw them, they were just rocking Hawaiian shirt. I'm like, you bitch.
• 1:11:45
  Betrayer.
• 1:11:45
  Well, really, you can't have a relationship where both people are strong in the Hawaiian shirt.
• 1:11:51
  See, that's a good point.
• 1:11:53
  Fair. Yeah, I never thought about that. I was being selfish.
• 1:11:55
  Yeah.