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Take Care of Yourself and Avoid Parental Burnout · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified Life and Wellness Coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: Hi everybody, thanks so much for joining me for another episode of Rise Up to Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: I really appreciate you taking some time out of your day, whether it's morning, evening, or afternoon.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: I just really appreciate the moments that you've taken to spend with me.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: Today I wanted to tackle the topic of parental burnout.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Some of you may know this.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: I am actually the mother of five myself.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I just, I truthfully, it doesn't matter whether you have one child or multiple children.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: I think this concept of parental burnout is a real, is a real thing.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, constantly trying to balance the demands of work and life can can be overwhelming at times.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, honestly, I think many parents do find it difficult sometimes to just manage those pressures of day-to-day life, especially when there's this inner voice that tells us that we're we're maybe not doing it well enough or perfect enough.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: And and, you know, we have these expectations of ourselves of what success looks like at home with our family.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: We want to be there for our kids, we want to be there for our spouse, we want to be there at work.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: We want to do it all.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it's just simply not possible to constantly be running all the time.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: Because when we do that and we don't slow it down, we do end up running into this concept of possibly facing burnout.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: So, what really is burnout?
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  SPEAKER_01: Burnout's the state of exhaustion when you are constantly under chronic stress.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, a lot of times we hear the concept of burnout in relation to work-related stress and the increased demands of everyday life.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: But what we've realized is there are also, there is also this concept of burnout in relation to parenting, uh, and I'm referring to it as parental burnout, because it's it occurs as the same result of that same emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion that occurs over a period of time.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: So, again, while we normally think of burnout related to work, it can also happen in in regards to just trying to manage all of the stress of showing up and being the best parent that we can be.
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  SPEAKER_01: So, how do we even recognize parental burnout?
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  SPEAKER_01: Parental burnout can cause you to feel drained most of the time.
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  SPEAKER_01: It can also trigger other health problems.
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  SPEAKER_01: There's emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion that can reduce your motivation to just to do things as well as start impairing your relationships.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, there has been research that shows that burnout in parents can lead to just this um this escape ideation to just feeling like you you just need to remove yourself from from engaging as parent.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but it can also just just come out in other ways, such as your own neglectful behavior of yourself.
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  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it comes out in the form of aggression because you're just so physically and mentally exhausted.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's just really important that it's it's important to take the time to just slow down and to recognize when there might be signs of parental burnout on the horizon.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: And some of those that you could be on the lookout for are things like anxiety, continual fatigue, uh a lower self-esteem within yourself, self-doubt, depression, irritability, difficulty making decisions, feeling somewhat emotionally distant from your children or just from your partner, feeling a little bit helpless, uh, feeling unproductive, your own blood pressure starting to rise, or maybe you have changes in your heart rate, consistent headaches and migraines.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Those are just some examples of symptoms that you can be on the lookout for.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean that you are facing parental burnout, but sometimes just paying attention to those symptoms can help uh you know, help us take stock and make some changes and shifts so that we don't end up having parental burnout.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, oftentimes when our children go through more stressful situations themselves or challenging times themselves or are going through their own challenging issues, that can also add to this concept of uh parental burnout and feeling exhausted as a parent trying to manage all of that and maneuver and navigate those situations as well.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so we we think to ourselves, well, okay, well, if we are experiencing the symptoms of, or we are we do think that we we might be facing some parental burnout, what can we do about it?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, some some ideas of how we can manage parental burnout is to set realistic goals.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, just it's not just about others expect what others expect from us, but it's often about our own our own expectations and our own personal aspirations.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: So as parents, we do set high standards for ourselves many times.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's about slowing it down and just making sure that we're setting realistic goals for ourselves as well as for our children.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: Another really important way to manage our parental burnout is to set those healthy boundaries.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: Boundaries are absolutely essential for self-care.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I know oftentimes I hear from my clients, they'll say things like, I can't do that, or I feel like I'm hurting somebody's feelings.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: Setting boundaries is a means of recognizing the importance of your own feelings and needs and also for your own well-being.
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  SPEAKER_01: When we don't have the ability to set healthy boundaries, we do set ourselves up for exhaustion, we set ourselves up for overgiving, overfunctioning, and those things lead to burnout.
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  SPEAKER_01: So when we set these limits and we practice that self-care and that self-respect and that self-love, we're actually creating that space for our own selves to show up more completely in daily life.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: So boundaries are extraordinarily important in helping us uh reduce burnout, not just parental burnout, but boundaries are also very important in other relationships as well as in the workplace.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Another way that we can manage uh the idea of parental burnout is to challenge some of the thoughts that we're having.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of times as parents, we think negatively about our parenting responsibilities and our parenting success.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Many times our mind will wander and we'll start comparing ourselves to how other parents are doing, or we measure ourselves to what other how other kids are showing up, and we think maybe we're not doing it, quote unquote, right.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so our mind will sometimes flow into those automatic negative thoughts, and we create these cognitive distortions and the negative thinking patterns.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so then we start to make ourselves feel guilty, or we start feeling insufficient, and we struggle with our ability to show up fully as parents, or we we start wondering if we are being we are providing that that good work-life balance, and we start putting ourselves in that negative thoughts, that negative thought spiral, which just sends us down into the I'm not good enough false belief.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: So when our mind starts beating us up with that guilt uh or the false beliefs that we're not doing this well enough or that we're not good enough, it's really just challenging, uh, challenging those thoughts.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: When we catch ourselves saying, I should be doing this or I'm supposed to be doing this, it's just challenging those into, you know, really asking, well, who whose voice is that and who tells me I should or shouldn't do that?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's to challenge those, those thought processes, those thought patterns, and to start um shifting those into other ways of thinking, asking ourselves what's actually true.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we just need to learn to become more present, you know.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: So practicing mindfulness, uh using uh tools like journaling or um cognitive behavioral type questioning, can I actually challenge the thought that I'm having?
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  SPEAKER_01: What do I actually know to be true?
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  SPEAKER_01: And again, a really great practice is mindfulness.
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  SPEAKER_01: It's about coming into the present moment.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of times when we are starting to face uh burnout or we start to have those consistent negative thoughts, it's about, you know, because we're either worrying about something that happened in the past or we're future tripping about something that could happen in the future.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: So a really great strategy for helping us when we do feel like we are on that cusp of parental burnout is to get into the present moment, practice mindfulness, really recognize what's happening here and now uh rather than worrying about something that happened in the past because we can't undo it.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: And we we really can't control everything that's happening in the future.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: So it's about recognizing what's here, what's present for me now, and what's my next best step forward in this moment.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: And then finally, when you do feel like you are uh you are on the cusp of that parental burnout or you are needing support, it's so important to recognize that asking for help is not a bad thing.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: Any parent can experience burnout.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's when you start to feel that emotional exhaustion and you start to feel fatigue and you're feeling unwell and you don't do anything about it, that's when we start damaging those relationships with our family.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: We start becoming less productive and our happiness starts taking a toll.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really important to seek out support at that point, whether it be from a loved one, from friends, or seeking out help from somebody like a coach or a counselor who can help walk you through what's coming up for you and how you can manage those stressors.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's really important to do that because if we don't, we end up detrimentally affecting ourselves as well as our relationships with others.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I hope that was helpful in terms of just some ideas of how we can manage uh parental burnout, what it is and how we can manage it.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: If you would like to talk with me at any point in time in terms of this topic or anything else that you may need support with, feel free to reach out at any time.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, I'm Comedy Wood.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Username It's Authentic Me.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.