Latest / Two Broke Chicks / How To Change Your Life In 30 Days ft. Alexis Fernandez

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How To Change Your Life In 30 Days ft. Alexis Fernandez · Two Broke Chicks

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gadigal Land Always was, always
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Hey cheeks, I'm sal and I'm out and this is
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: two Broke Checks to show that shares life lessons and
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: tips to help make you rich in life. And look
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: who we've got back in. It's Alexis Fernandez.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: So happy to be back fix Ourses. I feel like
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: we get you in like quarterly.
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  Speaker 4: This is my quarterly therapist appointment.
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  Speaker 5: I'm like, okay, scheduled in, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, but we've got you on again because we're going
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  Speaker 2: to talk about how to change your life in thirty days. Yes,
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: because you just dropped your brand new audiobook, how to
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  Speaker 2: Chase Chains.
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  Speaker 5: I'm so excited.
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  Speaker 4: Oh my god, congratulations, thank.
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  Speaker 5: You, thank you. It's weird because I kind of had
• 0:52
  Speaker 5: to re listen to it because I wrote it over
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  Speaker 5: a year ago. You guys wrote a book, you know
• 0:55
  Speaker 5: what it's like. You know, you write it, then there's
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  Speaker 5: the whole process. So I was listening back to it
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  Speaker 5: and I'm like, that's actually really good. That's good stuff, right, yeah,
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  Speaker 5: you impress yourself. So yeah, no, I'm so I'm so
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  Speaker 5: happy it's finally out and it's really cute because I've
• 1:09
  Speaker 5: got all these listeners writing being like I'm on day seven,
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  Speaker 5: I'm one day because you've got to listen to like
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  Speaker 5: ten minutes a day for thirty days.
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  Speaker 4: It's incredible.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that little modules.
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  Speaker 2: It like gives you daily homework and yeah to do, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: which I think is so good.
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  Speaker 3: It makes it really digestible.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I think there's also like nothing like.
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  Speaker 4: That really Like, I think so it's really.
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  Speaker 1: A great form of short form, easy and achievable content
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  Speaker 1: to listen to, exactly, because I think sometimes we can
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  Speaker 1: I don't know, we'll read like a self help book
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  Speaker 1: stuff and it's so good in the moment, but it's
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  Speaker 1: really easy to fall off.
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  Speaker 5: I forget and what I noticed exactly that I will.
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  Speaker 5: I don't want to put it down, so I like
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  Speaker 5: inhale the whole book, but then I've actually only retained
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  Speaker 5: half of it. If that because there might have been
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  Speaker 5: good tips, but I haven't put them into practice. Yeah,
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  Speaker 5: because I'm so excited about just reading the whole thing
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  Speaker 5: and I think, well, I'll get to the end and
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  Speaker 5: then i'll read it again, but I never do. It's
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  Speaker 5: micro learning, Yeah, exactly, This like forces you to get
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  Speaker 5: through that step and then you do the next thing.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, Well we're going to get into it in detail,
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: but before we do, you know, how we roll. We
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  Speaker 2: like to start with a life lesson of the week,
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  Speaker 2: So what's yours.
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  Speaker 5: Life lesson of the week? Lowering expectations in a good way.
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  Speaker 5: I think for myself, I had like, sometimes I've set
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: myself all these goals that I have to complete by
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  Speaker 5: the end of the week, but then I actually managed
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  Speaker 5: to do a lot of other things that are not
• 2:28
  Speaker 5: work related that were actually really fulfilling. And then I'm like,
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  Speaker 5: sometimes I will mark my success based on what I
• 2:34
  Speaker 5: got done at work, especially because like work, for myself,
• 2:37
  Speaker 5: everything's like if I don't do it, it's not going
• 2:39
  Speaker 5: to get done. So then it's really easy to slip
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  Speaker 5: into well, I haven't achieved enough, I'm not doing enough.
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  Speaker 5: I'm constantly feeling like more should be done. But I
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  Speaker 5: think the lesson that I've learned is sometimes it's really
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  Speaker 5: important to like zoom out and look at how much
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  Speaker 5: I've done with like connecting with people haven't seen in
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  Speaker 5: a while, like read, you know, all of that, and
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  Speaker 5: lowering your expectations in a good way it's like it's
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  Speaker 5: not all on that zoom out kind of look at
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  Speaker 5: the bigger picture. And every time I do that, I
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  Speaker 5: feel so good about myself And it's so easy to
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  Speaker 5: just slip into the I measure my value based on
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  Speaker 5: my output of work. So yeah, that's a very convoluted answer.
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  Speaker 2: I love that, and I think, you know, it's such
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  Speaker 2: a good way to practice gratitude as well. I know
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  Speaker 2: that's a real buzzword, but I do think it's important
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  Speaker 2: and can help like center you when things are feeling
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  Speaker 2: overwhelming or you're feeling a little bit lost.
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  Speaker 5: Totally.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that. What's yours elf?
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  Speaker 5: Okay?
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  Speaker 1: Mine is just a silly goofy one, and it is
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  Speaker 1: the fifteen most attractive male hobbies to women. Oh and
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  Speaker 1: I wanted to read it out please, I know, I
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  Speaker 1: know you'll have an opinion. Okay, okay, Number fifteen traveling, Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: oh yeah, right, Number fourteen blacksmithing.
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  Speaker 5: What yeah?
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  Speaker 1: Eighty eight point two two percent of women said they
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  Speaker 1: found blacksmithing an attractive male hobby.
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  Speaker 5: Were they asked do you think black? Or did eighteen
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  Speaker 5: percent of women just think off the top of their head, Oh.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't have that information because I like, because
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  Speaker 1: that's why I like.
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  Speaker 5: I like, surely it had to be like a multiple choice,
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  Speaker 5: and it was like, has to be.
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  Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie.
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  Speaker 1: If I saw blacksmithing on a survey, I'd be like,
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  Speaker 1: that's a sword.
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  Speaker 5: I'd be like, yeah, maybe we love it's like an
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  Speaker 5: active service.
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  Speaker 4: Almost, yeah, making me something something.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay.
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  Speaker 2: Archery, Yeah, smash, that was immediate hot.
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  Speaker 3: It's giving, like if you're good.
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  Speaker 5: At it, not sh through twelve.
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  Speaker 4: Hiking that would be last me because I don't want
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  Speaker 4: to go hiking.
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  Speaker 5: Then astronomy I would put that as a neutral. I
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  Speaker 5: don't find that hot. Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: Next is photography, Yeah, okay, that's a good one.
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  Speaker 5: Okay.
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  Speaker 1: Then we've got swimming, gardening, and right, okay.
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  Speaker 5: Gardening, but if you're a landscaper like heart out, yes,
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  Speaker 5: I don't know.
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  Speaker 4: I kind of funk with the image of a guy
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  Speaker 4: building a herb garden.
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  Speaker 5: That's cute. Yeahdening, I get writing, writing, And then we've
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  Speaker 5: got painting, woodworking, and cooking. Cooking.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, these we're at the top three now, okay, okay,
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  Speaker 1: so number three most attractive hobbies of a.
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  Speaker 4: Man to a woman Playing an instrument I would, yes, Yeah.
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  Speaker 5: What if a guy like serenades you with like an
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  Speaker 5: oboe or something like i'd be like a clarinet cet.
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  Speaker 4: On your first day, He's like, can I play my
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  Speaker 4: saxophone for you?
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  Speaker 3: Saxophone? Actually I think I could.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, if you're like a good jazz y that's soloist.
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  Speaker 5: I can't see.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I think it depends on the.
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  Speaker 3: Flexing that skill.
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  Speaker 5: How good they are.
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  Speaker 1: Foreign languages is number two, which definitely absolutely agree it
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  Speaker 1: shows intelligence.
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  Speaker 4: And then the number one it is reading.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, reading, So you know that changed and it was
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  Speaker 1: like hot guys reading.
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  Speaker 5: That's true because it shows a level of emotional intelligence exactly.
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  Speaker 1: And that's what I was like, you know what, I
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  Speaker 1: get that, especially when they're reading like a very smart book.
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  Speaker 5: You get it? Yeah, or like autobiography is yes, exactly.
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  Speaker 3: Okay.
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  Speaker 2: My life lesson of the week, I'll keep it short
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  Speaker 2: and sweet, but it's to not wait until you're feeling
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  Speaker 2: sick to go to the doctor and to like do
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  Speaker 2: your regular checkups across the board for your dentist, your doctor, optometrists,
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  Speaker 2: et cetera. Because it always piles up and becomesful and
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  Speaker 2: becomes so mature.
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  Speaker 3: Really hard to manage.
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  Speaker 2: So I think like that's something that I I've been
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  Speaker 2: putting off for ages, and I just feel like I
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  Speaker 2: have a little bit more clarity with how I've been.
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  Speaker 3: Feeling and what's been going on, and.
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  Speaker 2: It just like gives you some of the stepping stones
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  Speaker 2: to at least try to improve or feel better no
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  Speaker 2: matter what it is. And then as well, it's not
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  Speaker 2: one of those things where you're like falling asleep.
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  Speaker 3: At night and you're like, I need to go to
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  Speaker 3: the dentist.
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  Speaker 4: Yea, I love an annual checker.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it. Get that stethoscope on me.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, I just like other Date's funny you say that,
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  Speaker 5: because only just the other day went to the doctor
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  Speaker 5: and be like, can I just get my bloods done? Yeah? Yeah,
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  Speaker 5: and the results together like a week later.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, when they give you the results, it honestly feels
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  Speaker 1: like again, yeah, it's just so.
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  Speaker 5: Fun this week.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, I felt like I was getting like
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  Speaker 2: a report card back.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah I was.
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  Speaker 1: That's actually probably there's something there's some deeper.
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  Speaker 3: Root cause about anyway, let's jump in.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, starting off with probably the biggest question of all,
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  Speaker 1: but why is change so scary.
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  Speaker 3: Why is it so intimidating?
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  Speaker 5: I think because whether it's changing for the bad or
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  Speaker 5: whether it's changing for the good, which is the most
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  Speaker 5: The main reason why you'd want to change, it's because
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  Speaker 5: it represents the unknown. You really don't know what it's
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  Speaker 5: going to bring you. You could try, Oh, I'm going
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  Speaker 5: to go for this promotion. I'm going to try and
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  Speaker 5: ask this person on a day. There's all these possible
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  Speaker 5: good things that could come out of it, but we
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  Speaker 5: don't know what it's going to look like. And it
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  Speaker 5: also requires effort and hard work, so we will. We
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  Speaker 5: can dream about it, which we do we're really good at,
• 8:40
  Speaker 5: and we like plot and dream and brains and we
• 8:43
  Speaker 5: talk about it. We love to talk about it. But
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: then we talk about it again and to get to everyone,
• 8:50
  Speaker 5: and then we feel validated. If I talk I'm going
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  Speaker 5: to run a half marathon. Oh my god, you're amazing,
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  Speaker 5: You're amazing. I've now been validated. Then it comes to
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  Speaker 5: and I'm like no, no, no, no, no no, I
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  Speaker 5: can't be fucked doing that. Or it's like that rep
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  Speaker 5: that's a lot harder than I thought it would be.
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  Speaker 5: Or I don't know how to begin, or I just
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: experienced my first hurdle and it's just turned me off
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  Speaker 5: doing it. So we're really good at protecting ourselves and
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: even discomfort even if it's not an actual threat. We're like, mm,
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  Speaker 5: but this is just more safe, This is more comfortable.
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  Speaker 5: So it's not through lack of not wanting a different life,
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  Speaker 5: but it just it's hard. It's uncomfortable. It's the unknown.
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  Speaker 1: I feel like as well, because so often change we
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  Speaker 1: can see and look at it as in something bad
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  Speaker 1: will happen. Like it's a lot easier to focus on change,
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  Speaker 1: being like this is bad.
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  Speaker 5: This is like what if this happens, what if that happened?
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  Speaker 3: Or what if I fail?
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, And the thing is, every time I've done something
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  Speaker 5: that I thought was going to work out and it
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  Speaker 5: didn't work out, which has been many many times in
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  Speaker 5: my life, but it's never been as bad as what
• 9:59
  Speaker 5: I thought the worst case scenario would be. So from
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: the starting point, I'd be like, I'm going to take
• 10:04
  Speaker 5: this risk, and if it doesn't work out, this is
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: what it's going to be terrible. But the reason it's
• 10:08
  Speaker 5: not as bad is because a you've already taken that step,
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  Speaker 5: You've left your old life, you've taken that step, so
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  Speaker 5: you're already an evolved version of yourself somewhat. Then that
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  Speaker 5: thing doesn't work out, but you're also too busy to
• 10:19
  Speaker 5: be just sitting there just you know, having a breakdown
• 10:23
  Speaker 5: about it, because you're likely going to be like, all right, well,
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  Speaker 5: I left my job to get this new job. Didn't
• 10:27
  Speaker 5: get it, but now I've got it. So you become
• 10:29
  Speaker 5: actually quite proactive. And every time things have not worked
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  Speaker 5: out for me in the past, and I've had like
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: big things not work out for me, and every single time,
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  Speaker 5: I've been a lot more resilient. I've responded in a
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  Speaker 5: much more proactive way than what I thought the worst
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  Speaker 5: case scenario would look like. So it's never as bad
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  Speaker 5: as you think. Ever.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you My favorite thing to remind myself is is
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  Speaker 1: that every good thing that has ever happened to me
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: is because something bad happened.
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  Speaker 5: In the past. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Every's everything that didn't go right has led to something
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  Speaker 1: going right.
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  Speaker 3: Down the track, down the track, Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Because it's like, you know, if like you can backtrack it,
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  Speaker 1: or like if you didn't break up with that one person,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: maybe you wouldn't have moved to, you know, that country
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  Speaker 1: and then you wouldn't have met your friends you've got
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  Speaker 1: now or whatever it is, like whatever like red string
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  Speaker 1: on a whiteboard that you want to like break it
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  Speaker 1: down to. It's just like that's my thing to do
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  Speaker 1: whenever I'm like this is fucked, Like it's fine because.
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  Speaker 5: When I'm fifty, yeah no, but it is true one
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  Speaker 5: hundred percent true. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, So we've decided we want to make a change,
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  Speaker 2: we want to change our lives in thirty days.
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  Speaker 3: What does day one look like?
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  Speaker 5: So day one is primarily all about understanding. So I've
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: got like different modules, but day one is all about
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: understanding kind of your identity and your I think it's
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: really easy to decide what I want change. I'm just
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: going to go for it, and it's all about like
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: action and trying to make things work. But sometimes we
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: make it's so much harder for ourselves because we don't
• 12:02
  Speaker 5: understand what the foundation is. And the foundation is you
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  Speaker 5: your beliefs, your mindset, and what you truly identify with.
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  Speaker 5: Because if you're someone that says I'm not a morning person,
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  Speaker 5: I'm you know, and you've got this identity, but then
• 12:16
  Speaker 5: you think, well, I'm going to start running and the
• 12:17
  Speaker 5: only time you can run is in the morning. Then
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: what does that look like for you? You're going to
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: be hating your life. It's going to be a goal
• 12:23
  Speaker 5: that you don't attach to much happiness. It's there's so
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: many things. And that's just a really basic example, but
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: a lot of our identity of like what we're deserving off,
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: what kind of love and relationship we're deserving off a lot.
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: That's what Module one is all about. Where really and
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: I break it down into all these categories, but you
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: really get a bit of a spreadsheet understanding on what
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: are my real beliefs about who I am and what
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: I'm deserving off or capable of having, and that is
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: where we start from to then work on what we
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: want to bring in.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, So it's more about identifying your values, not your goals,
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: exactly exactly your values and.
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  Speaker 5: Also like your real belief system because they can be changed,
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  Speaker 5: but it's hard to change it if you don't know
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  Speaker 5: what exactly it is. So it's like the whole you
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  Speaker 5: can't change what you don't acknowledge. We especially if it's
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: a negative belief, we'll sweep it under the rug because
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: we don't want to face it.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's so interesting because in that module
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  Speaker 2: you talk about cognitive bias and how that can be
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: really limiting in getting you to achieve your goals and
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: what you really want to do. And I think that
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: running example is a good one because it's like, oh,
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: I'm not a morning person, and it's like, well why not?
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Like maybe you could be? Is that just something if
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: you've got to training yourself look.
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: To paris what you be a morning person? Like what
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: you get go to the airport? You know, it's all
• 13:38
  Speaker 5: about it's all about value exchange. If something brings you
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: enough value, you have no problem putting in the work,
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: So why don't you value it? Maybe we need to
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: reframe why we need to value something more. But if
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: everything comes down to what is more valuable right now
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: for me? Is it that thing or what I'm doing
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: right now, sleeping in or whatever it is? You know,
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: so there's always there's always a trade off.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: What if you don't know what you want?
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: We had quite a few people write in and say,
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: I know I want change and I want to have goals,
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: but I just don't know what I want those goals
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: to be. How can you define your goals and what
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: you want to do with your life.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, so I think if you are in a position
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  Speaker 5: where you're like, I actually have no idea. I think
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: that it is good to look at what you don't want.
• 14:22
  Speaker 5: Not to don't sit on it for too long, because
• 14:25
  Speaker 5: then you can just spend your whole life just avoiding
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: what you don't want. But I think it is good
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: to look at what you don't want. For example, in relationships,
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: like I think it really serves you. I never say
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: that it's I never say that I'm grateful for abusive
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: relationships because I don't think anyone should go through it. However,
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: being in emotionally abusive relationships gave me such clarity on
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: what I would never have again in my life, so
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: I was able to be like, I don't want that.
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: I don't want that, I don't want that.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: What does the.
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: Opposite off that look like? So, for example, if you think, well,
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: what don't I like about my life? I don't like
• 14:56
  Speaker 5: that it's mundane. I don't like that I'm not filled
• 14:59
  Speaker 5: with joy going into work. I don't like commuting. So
• 15:01
  Speaker 5: you can start thinking I don't like, I don't like
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: I don't like I don't like feeling like I have
• 15:05
  Speaker 5: no energy. So then now you've identified all these things
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: and now you're like, what does the flip side of
• 15:10
  Speaker 5: that look like? Okay, maybe I need more adventure. Maybe
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: I'm seeking that kind of feeling in my life. Maybe
• 15:14
  Speaker 5: I'm seeking being full of energy. Maybe I'm lonely, maybe
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: I need to So that's how you start to like
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: identify what you value. And when you know what you value,
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: then you can be creative because I think a lot
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: of people also think I have to know the answer
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: right now, I have to know what I want. But
• 15:31
  Speaker 5: it's like, just identify the feeling that you value and
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: where you can access that. So if I feel like
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: I want more adventure, do I want that at work?
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: Do I want to just travel more? Do I want
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: to be more spontaneous at nighttime? Do what do I
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: want to be doing? You know what I mean? And
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: then through a bit of trial and error, it's like
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: a numbers game. You're going to see something will stick
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: and then you can follow that path. I like that.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: I like that it's looking about starting rather than stopping,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: like not focusing on the negative thing that you don't want. Yeah, exactly,
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's like the lock and the key
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: for your brain a little bit.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because it's like even with.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: You saying, you know, I don't want to feel tired,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: or it's like I want to feel more energy, and
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: that's the thing that you'll be like, Okay, okay, I
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: will get up, like I will you know, I'll drink
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: my water or whatever.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: That's the least basic example. But nobody that is yeah,
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: that whole thing. I love that. But what are your
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: tips for people like me.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Asking for a friend who struggle with procrastination or getting
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: the motivation to get started.
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, So okay, the number one thing with motivation is
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: that we sit here and we think that there's this
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: like future version of ourselves either tomorrow or next week
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: that is more willing to do something that we're willing
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: to do right now. So if you're saying to yourself,
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: I'll leave this for tomorrow because I don't want to
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: do it now, you're not going to want to do
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: it tomorrow. You're kidding yourself. There's no world where you're
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: going to be in the mood to do it if
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: you're not in the mood right now, especially if it's
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: something that you've procrastinated on multi couple times. So what
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: I do with anything that I procrastinate on is you
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: want to break it down in the most manageable, bite
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: sized piece, so even if the task can't be completed.
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: So the example I use is doing an essay for
• 17:14
  Speaker 5: a subject that was really, really hard, and I just
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: knew that it would be a nightmare because I hadn't
• 17:18
  Speaker 5: completely grasped that. So what I used to do is
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: I would think, well, if I say to myself, I'm
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: going to be sitting here for four hours working on
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: this essay, I would avoid it at all costs because
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: I'm like, this is I get anxiety when I sit
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: and do this. I can't It's stressing me out so much.
• 17:31
  Speaker 5: So then I thought, I'm going to set a thirty
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: minute timer and I'm just going to look at and
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: I think, like, how can I make the barrier of
• 17:38
  Speaker 5: entry so easy? So I thought, I'm just going to
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: look for references. I'm just gonna like troll through a
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: Google scholar and look at references. I don't have to
• 17:44
  Speaker 5: write shit, So that the barrier to entry was so
• 17:46
  Speaker 5: loo because I'm like, I'm not putting pressure on myself,
• 17:48
  Speaker 5: but I am dedicating thirty minutes no matter what. And
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: then once a timer goes off, I can stop doing it,
• 17:53
  Speaker 5: so then because or you could do twenty minutes and
• 17:56
  Speaker 5: then more. Almost every time when the time I went off,
• 17:59
  Speaker 5: I was so engrossed in that task, and I'm like
• 18:01
  Speaker 5: thirty more minutes, more minutes because there's no pressure. So
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: what I say to people, if you're procrastinating, limit the
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: barrier to entry. Make it ridiculously easy to do, and
• 18:10
  Speaker 5: then see if it sticks. And then the beauty of
• 18:13
  Speaker 5: it is if the timer goes off and you're like,
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: I'm still hating this, then stop doing it because then
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: you can say, you know what I did the ten minutes,
• 18:18
  Speaker 5: I did something towards this task, and then tomorrow I
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: can do another ten minutes. I don't you know, once
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: a time I went off, I let myself stop, you know,
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: So that way in here, right, Yeah, you do. You
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: get that sense of accomplishment and it does feel good
• 18:31
  Speaker 5: and then you think, even though that was hard, I
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: loved how I felt after, so I'm more likely to
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: want to do it again.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like the motivation, Yeah gets you there.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: And also looking at the individual steps rather than the mountain.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Never.
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, can't look at the mountain because it's so fat.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that mountain.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's what I have to do because
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: otherwise I spiral and like the big picture and then
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, no, let's break it down into steps. Yeah,
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: and the individual tasks I need to do to get there,
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: And a lot of the time it's so much easier
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: than the fresher that you.
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: Makes so hard. I was seeing this thing on like
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: ADHD TikTok, and I don't have ADHD, but I could
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: fully relate to this. It's like, I need a tidy
• 19:12
  Speaker 5: this shelf, and before you know, you've pulled out everything
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: of your wardrobe. It's all on your bed, and you
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: start going through your documents. Then it's nighttime and you
• 19:18
  Speaker 5: get to your bedroom and you're like, oh, it's so bad. Yeah,
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: And then the thing is, next time you go and
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: do it, you're like, oh, no, that's too big a task.
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: Whereas if you did one carpet or one draw a week,
• 19:29
  Speaker 5: your kitchen would always be in great order.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: So it's it's that kind of stuff. It's like, if
• 19:33
  Speaker 5: I didn't procrastinate on this and wait till it got
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: bad enough, that would never have to happen, you know,
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: go ahead.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: So let's say that we've made a conscious decision to
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: make a change. What are three common ways that we
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: self sabotage in our twenties.
• 19:50
  Speaker 5: Okay, so the first one, and this is probably like
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: the main one, is our language. We really don't pay
• 19:57
  Speaker 5: attention to our language and how we talk about our selves.
• 20:01
  Speaker 5: And there's so much, you know, data and evidence to
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: show how much your language impacts what you're going to
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: do and how you're going to show up as you know,
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: a friend or whatever. And it's not in the sense
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: of because I was I watched this TikTok recently, and
• 20:17
  Speaker 5: it's like everything you say is going to be the truth.
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: So stop saying, oh my god, I'm dead. I'm dead.
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: It's like that's ridiculous, Like you can say you can
• 20:25
  Speaker 5: say oh my god, I'm dead as a reaction, because
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: it's the belief behind the language which mars. So if
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: you're saying like I'm always late, I'm always late, you
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: believe that because you are always late, but you are
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: just you are reiterating and re establishing something again and again.
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: I always fail just because you have a history of
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: not passing things. You then say I'm a failure, I'm
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: a failure. We become really universal with our language, which
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: is really unhealthy. So I say, the first thing that's
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: holding you back is take like a snapshot of how
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: you speak about yourself and be like, is this actually
• 20:56
  Speaker 5: the truth? Am I being too general with this? Instead
• 20:59
  Speaker 5: of saying I'm a failure, say I've in the past
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: failed at this, failed at these things, and then change
• 21:05
  Speaker 5: your language too. I would be capable of passing if
• 21:09
  Speaker 5: I were to do these things, you know, So you
• 21:11
  Speaker 5: start to evolve your language. That's the first thing. Number
• 21:14
  Speaker 5: one thing. The next thing that we do is that
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: we are so dramatic with the changes that we want
• 21:20
  Speaker 5: to make. We'll be like, right, right, right, I'm going
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: to start at the gym, and then I'm also not
• 21:25
  Speaker 5: going to eat any sugar and have no And then
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: you've put so many things that are really difficult back
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: to back, so it's not just one hard thing. I'm
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: not gonna have sugar this week, or I'm going to
• 21:35
  Speaker 5: go to the gym every single day, or whatever it is.
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: You decide, I'm going to become a brand new person tomorrow,
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: and I'm doing it every single one of those. So
• 21:42
  Speaker 5: you set yourself up to fail because it's so horrible.
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: You try and do it and it's like, this is fucked.
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: I'm not enjoying this at all, this is this is
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: not a life. And then you think, oh, those fit people,
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: how do they enjoy their life? How can they? So
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: then you start attaching that hard work to being like,
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: that's a negative life to live because it's so hard,
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: instead of run, instead of thinking, what if I were
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: to change one thing at a time until it became
• 22:05
  Speaker 5: part of my lifestyle, then it wouldn't be a horrible lifestyle.
• 22:08
  Speaker 5: I'd actually quite enjoy it, and I'd have a lot
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: more balance in my life. So this idea of trying
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: to change twenty things at once, it rarely, rarely, rarely works.
• 22:16
  Speaker 5: So don't do it because then you're gonna look at
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: it with a negative lens and you're going to say
• 22:22
  Speaker 5: to yourself, I tried it and I couldn't do it.
• 22:24
  Speaker 5: It's like you're not the failure. You had a flawed
• 22:26
  Speaker 5: strategy that was the problem.
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, So I didn't found your strategy.
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: Your strategy was fucked.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Strategy.
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: And then the last one is of course procrastination. Like
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: we're talking about earlier, we will always put off things
• 22:39
  Speaker 5: because we think that we need to be one hundred
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: percent sure. We're like, that's another reason why we procrastinate.
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: We're like, well, maybe I don't know that we're waiting
• 22:47
  Speaker 5: for something to slap us in the face with clarity.
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: I need to know. Almost everything I've done in my
• 22:52
  Speaker 5: life I've not had clarity on. I've had like a
• 22:54
  Speaker 5: general push an interest like oh that I could you know,
• 22:58
  Speaker 5: and then you find clarity by doing. It's kind of like,
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: you know, we think we're going to know, we're going
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: to be ready all these things you can only truly
• 23:05
  Speaker 5: know once you begin. So just like start if it
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: doesn't work, a cape swap, start, I don't care how
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: many times you have to chop and change, but don't
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: sit and wait for clarity.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I also think taking the pressure off sometimes is
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: what's helpful, because it's like I do think setting like,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: you know, a goal that's like numerical and being like
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do this like every week is good
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: and that is helpful.
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: But I've recently.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Found that sometimes even just being like I'd like to
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: do more of this rather than being like I'm going
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: to do this, has been more helpful because you take
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: the pressure off and then you stop having the failure thing.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: If I didn't do it, then I suck and I
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: obviously just can't do it.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I find that so helpful.
• 23:48
  Speaker 5: And you don't want to make it like, oh, I'm
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: in a prison, and I'm like, I'm like.
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: It shouldn't be a chore.
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: No, exactly, yeah, exactly.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: It has to feel good.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: But I would love your opinion on what do you
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: think about the saying nothing changes if nothing changes.
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: Well, yeah, I agree. I agree with it in the
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: sense of, you know, in order, like you, something has
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: to give. You know, the only thing that's if you
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: weren't to change anything in your life, you would actually
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: fall behind because everything keeps moving around you. Like things
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: are constantly evolving around you. Your friends are in different
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: stages of their life, so is your family. Your work
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: dynamic is going to change. If you changed nothing, you
• 24:25
  Speaker 5: would fall behind. So we always have to evolve constantly.
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: We've got to evolve. Look at our fashion, look at
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: everything like everything evolves. Nothing is stagnant. So you've got
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: to look at change and constantly evolving as that's the
• 24:39
  Speaker 5: default option. You know, if we hold onto things too much,
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: not only will nothing change, I actually think you will regress.
• 24:47
  Speaker 5: You know, there's no life that's safe enough, there's no
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: relationships safe enough, there's nothing safe enough that warrants you
• 24:53
  Speaker 5: holding on so typ for it not to change. Ever,
• 24:56
  Speaker 5: so you're better off being a little bit more carefree
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: and thinking. If I can change and evolve all the time,
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: then when a curve wall comes my way, I'm very equipped.
• 25:04
  Speaker 5: I'm very equipped to change very I'm adaptable, I'm resilient.
• 25:08
  Speaker 5: I'd rather be adaptable and resilient than be a hoarder
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: with what I've got in my life, because even then
• 25:14
  Speaker 5: you can't ensure that things are going to stay the same,
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: you know. So yeah, I definitely agree with that saying.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah I love that put that shit on shirt.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: So another big one, how do you carry on the
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: changes that you've made and the habits that you've built
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: beyond the thirty days?
• 25:31
  Speaker 5: Okay? So what I do is I try and get
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: people to kind of have like a hierarchy, a hierarchy
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: of importance of their goals and stuff. And you always
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: start with one thing and you make it easy for yourselves.
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: So say I want to start waking up earlier, Okay,
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: so you wake up at eight, and you want to
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: start waking up at six. I'm going to start waking
• 25:51
  Speaker 5: up at seven thirty. Okay. Then once that becomes a habit,
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: then you can push it earlier. Then you can push
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: it earlier. The aim is to become so accustomed to
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: that one thing that instead of it being a conscious effort,
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: you've outsourced that job to your subconscious mind. You no
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: longer have to You've it's like you've subcontracted that like
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: that exactly. Once your subconscious mind takes care of it,
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: it's now part of your identity. And that's module one.
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: It's like you can change your identity as many times
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: as you want, whatever you want, but it takes effort.
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: But once you've done it, it's effortless. So then I'm
• 26:24
  Speaker 5: now a morning person or I now this. Then you
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: just keep stacking on new things, but you've got to
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: wait till it becomes something that's more solidified that it's
• 26:31
  Speaker 5: not an effort. So when I was talking about flawed
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: strategy before, we put in twenty things at once, and
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: it's all an effort. So we kind of even get
• 26:39
  Speaker 5: one done because it's it's horrible, it's really exhausting. So
• 26:43
  Speaker 5: start with thirty minutes earlier. Start with drinking one extra
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: glass of water a day, instead of thinking I'm drowning
• 26:49
  Speaker 5: myself trying to get through three water, just an extra glass,
• 26:52
  Speaker 5: or think what if I had that glass the moment
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: I wake up that way, I've had a bit more water.
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: And like, it's these tiny, tiny, tiny things. It sounds
• 27:00
  Speaker 5: so simple, but if you did this in six months,
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: you would look back and be like, this is crazy
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: how much I've been able to add into my life
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: or change and adapt or the discipline that I've got.
• 27:10
  Speaker 5: And it doesn't feel horrible. I'm really enjoying this, you know.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I love how you say it's tiny, But we don't
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: do that even like.
• 27:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah, the reason we're don't do it is because we're like, oh, well,
• 27:21
  Speaker 5: I'm not going to see enough change with that. I want.
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: I want change that will give you major change. It's
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: not exciting. It's not you know, it's.
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: Not a half marathon back.
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, and it's not exciting to announce. It's very personal.
• 27:34
  Speaker 5: It's very much on your own journey. No one cares
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: if you've worken up ten minutes earlier today. So it's
• 27:38
  Speaker 5: just this personal thing that I've got to just silently
• 27:41
  Speaker 5: chip away these tiny milestones. But that's where you change
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: your reputation. That's where you change so much. People will
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: look at you being like, when did this transformation happen?
• 27:50
  Speaker 5: And it's this tiny, tiny, tiny things day to day.
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: Don't look at it as being this spectacle.
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: You can't like transform yourself overnight.
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: No, no, no.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: And I think that it is exactly what you were
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: saying before of like it feels really good to be
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: like I'm going to do it these seven things from
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: now on that yeah, it does feel really good. But
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: I also think it ties into that whole thing of
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: everything we're told.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: We're supposed to be able to do.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: Like we're told, all right, you've got to socialize with
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: your friends on the weekend, drink five gallons of water
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: every hour, and exercise seventy two times a day and
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: do this and do that. And I feel like that
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: does feed into it. And like the expectation and the
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: pressure that you can get that like that like pacing
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: you that I feel like pulling yourself out of it
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: is like one of the really really tricky things. But
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: I exactly what you're saying at the start though, it's
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: identifying those values yep, and like, definitely you actually give
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: a shit about and.
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: Sometimes you'll you'll really look back and this is what
• 28:47
  Speaker 5: I want a lot of people to see. Sometimes you
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: look back and be like, I actually, based on my
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: values and based on doing that like that task, I
• 28:54
  Speaker 5: don't want this anymore. Sometimes we'll bang on about something
• 28:57
  Speaker 5: that we think we want, and a huge one is
• 28:59
  Speaker 5: like a particular the body type that we're trying to like,
• 29:02
  Speaker 5: or like a job that you've been slogging it out
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: and it's no longer a passion, but it's like that
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: sunk cost fallacy, so we stick it out. There's so
• 29:10
  Speaker 5: many things that you'll realize when you work through it,
• 29:12
  Speaker 5: for what do I value, You'll actually be able to
• 29:14
  Speaker 5: let go off a lot being like that doesn't matter
• 29:17
  Speaker 5: to me anymore, but this other thing does, and I
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: want more of that in my life, you know.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that's the sort of change that
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: we should be focusing on and chasing in our lives.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: And also just reminding yourself that you are entirely capable.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: I think there's so many things that we take for
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: granted that our effort that we do every single day,
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: like brushing your teeth or getting up and going to
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: work on time, or taking the bins.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: Down, Like these are all annoying little things.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: That we do every day in their habits that we've
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: built up. It's not things that you're like born into
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: this earth and you're like, I'm going to show up
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: to work on time, Like these areas that we built up,
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: but we take it for granted. Like, look back at
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: all of these little minute tasks that you do every
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: day or you've done throughout your life and remind yourself
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: you are capable and waking up thirty minutes earlier is
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: also something that you are capable of doing.
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: Oh fuck, that was great. Love that great, Tom everyone.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: Okay, so we finished every episode with the big life question,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: and it is what has been your biggest life lesson
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: on embracing change in your twenties or any age.
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: Well, for me it was I might have already told
• 30:25
  Speaker 5: this story on your podcast, I'm not sure, but for
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: me it was actually like being absolutely heartbroken and dumped
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: and just and I was like, in hindsight, I'm like,
• 30:34
  Speaker 5: I'm so happy that I'm so happy that happened, because
• 30:37
  Speaker 5: not to say that you have to go through a heartbreak.
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: But it caused me into the biggest downward spiral for
• 30:43
  Speaker 5: over a year, which then caused me to buy this
• 30:45
  Speaker 5: one way ticket to France to Paris. I then moved
• 30:48
  Speaker 5: there on a whim. It was just chaotic but incredible
• 30:53
  Speaker 5: because it kind of threw me in the deep end
• 30:55
  Speaker 5: and I was all alone, and it finally gave me
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: the opportunity to be like I actually, I'm capable of
• 31:01
  Speaker 5: doing so much on my own. And not only that,
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: I got to a point where I really loved being
• 31:05
  Speaker 5: in my own company, really loved it. Forced me into
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: so much change. It forced me to well, didn't even
• 31:11
  Speaker 5: force me. It inspired me to quit acting, which is
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: this is one of the things I was talking about earlier.
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: I was like, if I don't get this, this is
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: what I want this. It made me acting. Yes, I
• 31:22
  Speaker 5: used to do acting, and I was like, this is
• 31:24
  Speaker 5: the be all end all there. You know, there is
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: no plan B all that shit that people say. Guys
• 31:28
  Speaker 5: have a Plan B. It's fine, but this whole idea
• 31:31
  Speaker 5: if there's only one version of my life that I
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: can be happy in bullshit. There's actually statistically seven versions
• 31:36
  Speaker 5: of your life that you can be really, really really
• 31:37
  Speaker 5: happy with right.
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: So I love that.
• 31:40
  Speaker 5: That's yeah. And so I was here thinking this is
• 31:43
  Speaker 5: the only way forcing forcing, and then one day I thought,
• 31:46
  Speaker 5: this is give me so much anxiety. I'm going to
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: take a six month hiatus. One month and I'm like,
• 31:50
  Speaker 5: I'm never going back. I feel so good. I'm quitting.
• 31:53
  Speaker 5: I'm just going to try new things. I'm done. I
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: just wanted to just I learned to chase the feeling
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: of happiness instead of these external things. And chasing the
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: feeling of happiness led me into leaning into things I
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: was interested in without needing. I want to study the
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: brain again, instead of thinking what career do I want?
• 32:09
  Speaker 5: What's like you said the mountain. Yeah. I didn't even
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: know what career that would bring me. I didn't even
• 32:14
  Speaker 5: look at it. I just thought, well, every time I
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: think of the brain, I get inspired, I get really happy.
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: So I'm just going to study that. So that breakup
• 32:21
  Speaker 5: was the catalyst for everything. That was the biggest lesson
• 32:24
  Speaker 5: in my twenties. It really taught me all these lessons
• 32:28
  Speaker 5: combined into one, that you can have your own back,
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: that you are more resilient than you think, that it's
• 32:32
  Speaker 5: okay to quit. Sometimes it's better to quit sooner rather
• 32:35
  Speaker 5: than later. It was just the best thing ever.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Honestly, do you know what that reminds me of. It's
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: this quote from the book The Mountain is You, and
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: it's to have your new life, you have to sacrifice
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: your old wife.
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: Yes, I love that one. It's so true.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like, quite literally, like you wanted to
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: be an actor, you were with a part of that
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: can X.
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: And hit, you know, rock break.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: Now like you have a completely new life and have
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: embrace changed happiness, and oh I love that.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: I really hope that, like so many people who are
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: listening to this, who either are going through that right
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: now or potentially will go through something really hard in
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: the future, will remember that. I think it's such good perspective, even.
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: Though it's really hard to remember in the moment.
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, but it's yeah, it's comforting though.
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: It's comforting to know.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: That there will be a day that you kind of
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: exhale and you're like.
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: Thank God that happened.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: And for anybody who isn't already following you, where can
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: the Chicks find you?
• 33:30
  Speaker 5: And the new audiobook so you can find me on
• 33:33
  Speaker 5: the do you fucking mind? Podcast? Good times, It is
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: a good time, many good times, many harsh, harsh statements
• 33:41
  Speaker 5: like abuse you but nicely.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: It's called tough. It's like big sister advice. Yeah, so true.
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: Yeah. And the audiobook. You can find it on all
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: like so like Audible, Spotify, Spotify, Yeah, yeah, pretty much
• 33:55
  Speaker 5: wherever you get any any audiobooks. Yeah.
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much for coming on again. It's always
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: a pleasure. I can't wait to see you in ninety days.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:03
  Speaker 5: Literally, I'm not like this before and after.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: We're checking in thirty days. How are we going?
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: And thanks to your chicks for having us in your
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: ear holes.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: We love to be here.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: And thank you to m ik Made for making today's
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: episode happened.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: Love you chicks, Bye chicks.