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Owning a Small Business · To All the Men I've Tolerated Before

• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Hey, tolerators, this is to all the men I've tolerated before.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: With Naanley Katona, your weekly look at everyday misogyny. Today,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: we are happy to have back with us our friend
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Julia Washington, who needs no introduction. She's here all the time.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Julia is the owner of the literary themed small business
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Pros and Glow and is here to talk about how
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: misogyny plays a role in being a small business owner,
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: especially when you're a single woman who is running a business. Julia,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: thank you for always being here.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: Thank you for having me. I feel like I have
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: been on literally for every kind of topic. Yeah, don't
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: What don't you know about misogyny?
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: What don't I know? Ho misogyny? At this point, very
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: little left to uncover.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I almost texted you and Alrenthia during the Super Bowl
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: to be like, so we have to do a mini
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: episode about the halftime show. Say Drake, I just be
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: walking around this house, but Albee hates a new trendy
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: song coming to me because I just walk around this house.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: And every time I see her, I'm like, say, Drake,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: I hear you like him on and She's like why
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: why me?
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: You know, He's like I don't like anybody. Stop saying
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: that to me. Stop saying it.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: I don't like anybody actually, uh, or I'm just like,
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: they not like us, They not like us. And she's like,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: who's they? Oh, the men own the men. She's like,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: she's talking about the men again. Yeah, all right, Julia.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: I remember while I was planning for this episode that
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: a while back, I had done an episode with my
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: friend Marsha and we had opened that work that episode
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: talking about the state of work and why her and
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: I had decided and had to come to terms with
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: the fact that we have come to an age where,
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: unless you are in a really specified field, it does
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: not make sense to have someone else be in charge
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: of your paycheck anymore. And everyone feels like they have
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: to be an entrepreneur. So you and I talk about
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: that a lot, so I wanted to see if you
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: had comments on that too.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Well, I feel like, I feel like, oh, man, please,
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna say I feel like when people say they're
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: an entrepreneur, it's code for unemployed.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, Julia, which I guess technically I currently am employed,
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: but I do believe that, and men put it on
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: the dating apps. It's like oh, it doesn't have a job,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: so like like for me, it's like, you know, because
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I don't live somewhere where those jobs abound, right and.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Or or what people would deem a good job. Our
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: county is the second largest largest employer of residents. Like
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: so government entity is like the second largest employer in
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: our in our region, if that gives you any indication,
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: the largest employer doesn't hire locally. So I mean they do,
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: but also they don't, you know, it's like, yeah, I
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: know someone, So I guess for me, it's like.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: It I.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: It had to it's hard. Yeah, I am too old
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: to be a subordinate and too much experience to be
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: subordinate actually, like and also nobody wanted to give me
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: a job, so I just started my own, I guess.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: And I think one of the things that we could
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: also talk about is what you and I were talking
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: about earlier, where it's like currently the job landscape is embarrassing, like.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: So sad and scary.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Employers aren't offering full time positions with benefits that actually
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: pay anything because.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Legally they have to post openings, but those openings they
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: might not care about having them filled. They might already
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: be filled, but they're because of the EEOC, like there's
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: so many things, or like a friend of mine who
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: works in recruiting, I said something about like, oh, you know,
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: indeed is like it just feels so scammy and scammy,
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: and she's like it is, you know. So you're just
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: like you don't know what you're getting into. You want
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: all of my personal information plus work history, and then
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: you goes to me. But according to the jobs report,
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: it's through person unemployment.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: What what is happening?
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Are you based in that off of who a plot
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: who receives unemployment benefits that week? Is that where you're
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: basing that on? Because that's not an accurate representation if
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: who is unemployed slash underemployed?
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Correct? And I can't. And I think what you touched
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: on too is the rampant agism in the current job landscaping,
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: because the landscaping like it's a mowing company, but like
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: the land I can't get under employed to save my
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: life because they're like that girl's smart and talented and
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: she will leave in six weeks and we will have
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: to do this all again. And my friends in HR
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: will tell you that hiring people is expensive.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, it is, and like, even if I
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: leave my master's degree off my resume, it doesn't it
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: doesn't matter. I could leave my BA off of my
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: resume and it doesn't matter. They want they put you
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: through a psyche evaluation target. Why do you need to
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: evaluate my psychological ability to handle this quiz? Because when
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: the little old lady's mad that I have to unlock
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: the cabinet to get her her. So that's how it
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: is in California. I don't know how it is anywhere else.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: What you should be testing is whether or not I'll
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: yell back.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Well. And also I think that frights into part of
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: decentering men also became decentering patriarchy, and it became decentering capitalism.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: And so part of the problem is is like I'm
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: just too neurospicy to not be good at lying to
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: people anymore during interviews because I assume that me being
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: talented is an asset to them.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: That's what we were told.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: That's what we were told we were high ability children. Yeah,
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: I read aeration that that's not really our generation. And instead,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: what we've learned is if school isn't the pipeline to prison,
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: it shares the pipeline to grueling clickety clackity work for
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: no reason.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Which I also can't get correct, Like I did not
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: get a job in a warehouse at a certain box
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: conglomerate that is taking over the world. They didn't even
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: want me for that, So like that pipeline doesn't work
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: for me, Like I failed somehow I failed the pipeline.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Well, I know how I would have failed, because I
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: would have been wheezing and bent over and r amy,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Like my arms are sore, I have weak ankles. What
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: are we doing about this?
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, well, I mean honestly truly, but it's like
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: it's like one of those things where it's like I
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: can't even get Like we talked about the prison to pipe,
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: the education to prison pipeline, educational warehouse pipeline all the time,
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, I can't even get on that train correct.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: At this point? To me, at this point, I'm about
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: to be violent so I can get hot and a cot,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Like I don't understand, are we still oh, three hots
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: and a cat? You know, I only eat once because
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: of my rampant issues with food.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: They're still making the food anyway. Might just eat it all.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: They're making it all anyway.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: So anyways, all of this, and I'm not saying that
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: it was like the political landscape and the fact that
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: I guess we're not employable because we're too great.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: I'm too brilliant.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: But in the middle of this, you and I just
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: started going, Okay, so we'll just build something else. Something's
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: got to get us TikTok ads something.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: I gotta make money. I like to eat food, so
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: does my dog. And I live.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: And I need a place to live. So we started
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: to do more creative solutions, like I made some big
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: life changes and decided that I would take I'd go
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: back to I'm calling it going back to school because
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: I sure as how am paying to go to classes. Yes,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: they're never going to get me a certificate, but.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: But they are going to get you a lot further than, like,
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: you know, sitting in your house talking to Penelope only
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: only no offense to Penelope, and she's.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: A great cat. Where is she even exactly exactly? But
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: you were you were water coloring up a storm. And
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: then I don't remember how we landed on candles, but
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: we did. And let me tell you, as someone who
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: bought the wrong scented lotion recently and had to text
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: you in a panic to go. I thought it was
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: going to smell like oatmeal, and it smells like I
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: caught myself on fire that I am in fact the campfire.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Since are a hard science that clearly I haven't mastered.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: So how did you arrive to I have to start
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: a business from the ground up?
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Well, it was actually because you and I had a
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: conversation like two or three months after I got let Go,
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: and you were like, you already are making cards. You
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: should moan into it. I don't remember exactly what you said,
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: but you were basically like the gist it The way
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I retell the story now nearly two years later is
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: my friend was like, bitch, you already make cards, Just
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: make more.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Julia has since told me, bitch, you've been making bracelets.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Make more. And I'm like, I can't do all the
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: PaperWorks that you've done. I can't talk to as many
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: government officials as you've talked. And Etsy is a broken
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: little bitch of a site and I cannot be her servant.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: And so I can make the bracelets and I guess
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: pedal them on the corner, but I cannot do the
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: things that you have done. I have executive dysfunctioning when
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: it comes to that.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Well, I guess it helps that, like I ha worked
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: for so many government entities. I was like like I
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: already know like baby steps what to do. But you know,
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: it was definitely like a sink or swim situation, Natalie,
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: because you can only get a rejection letter so many
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: times with all the experience and the education that I have.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: And I think I even texted you as screencrab of
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: one of the rejections I got, which was literally like
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: you have all the desirable skills, We're still choosing to
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: pass and not interview you. I mean, and that actually
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: is verbaton because the way it was written, I was like,
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: somebody in HR actually wrote this. I sent it to
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: my family member who works in HR, and I was like,
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: this is the rejection I got, and they're like unprofessional,
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: that person if they were on my team fired, And
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: I was, Okay, thank you for saying that, because that
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: makes me feel better because reading that was so startling
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: of like, no, we're still choosing not to interview you,
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: even though you're like meeting every single qualification. It's giving
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: like don't fucking say the part out loud. It's giving
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: someone tried to sue us for having for being qualified
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: and not getting a job, So now we have to
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: tell people where where you're qualified, we still don't want you.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, which was like okay, Broun like sick boombroo.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: So you know, being being of the generation that was
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: told work really hard and it'll pay off, I was like, well,
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna listen to Nadalie and lean into it.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: And then I was like, well, I can't just do
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: cards because you know, cards are intermiss Like I heard
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: a lot of people say things like, well, who even
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: sends cards would be surprised? Hallmark is a like Hallmark
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: is still in business for a reason, y'all.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Like and it's not those faceless angels.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: No, And same with like the section in Target, like
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: they didn't get rid of it for a reason, like
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: it's still profitable to an extent, right, and nobody was
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: buying my artwork. So it was like, you know, let's
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: just put the artwork on the cards and go from there.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: And you know they started as like tons, right, like
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: plant puns and book puns. And then I did follow
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: all the free appropriate paperwork so I could have a
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: business license, which part of me feel like I still
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: have some work to do. Anyway, that's a whole other conversation.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I did do the paperwork, and then I was like,
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: we'll just go and reach out to the Minesto farmers
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: market and see like what are you to do to
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: be here? And you know, you have to have a
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: business license, you have to have business insurance, and then
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: there was some I think actually I think those were
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: the two main things. And then I never considered business
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: insurance because I'm a home based business, like, so I
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: applied for that, and you know, it was really easy
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: to just get a quote online and then then be like, oh,
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: actually this is what you do. You can pay us
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: as much money a month and you're like okay, well great,
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: like that's perfect. And then the market was like, we're
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: excited because nobody here sells cards. I was like, cool,
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: I also sell like other things too. But but getting
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: to the candle part of it all was I think
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: because everything was literally seemed from the beginning, so I
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: was like, well, if I want to a card and
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: a candle seems like a really nice gift, Like it's
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: like here, like you can just one stop shop it.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: And then the goal was always, you know, because like
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: every every introverted girl who loves to read and hates
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: people and loves tea. You know, I dreamed of having
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: a bookstore as well. But then it was like, well
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: do the cards, candles, the books will come and the
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: books are you know. I do surprise books now too.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: I don't have like a full stock of books because
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: I pop up, so that's heavy. But it it just
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: was like, what would be cute a gift shop? Do
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: a gift shop? And and that's kind of where it started.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: And in man, they are lying about the first couple
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: of years of business not making a lot of money.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: All those people would tell you they sold out right away. Liars, lies,
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: all lies. You can screw you. You know how easy
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: is to skew your numbers. That's what I think they've done.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Somebody's got to be laundering money.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: Actually, I want to take it. I want to amend
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: that a little bit. My very first event I hosted
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: did sell out, and I was shocked. I cried, Like
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: when the final ticket sold, I cried. I was like,
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: I'm shocked.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: I'm successful. I've done it. I've made it.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, truly, But like I was reading all these stories
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: about people who were like, oh, yeah, I started it,
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: you know, this farmer's market and like my first day
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: everything sold out and you're like, are you food because
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: I believe that about food.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's because they made six loves of bread. I'm
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: so hateful today and mostly every other day.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: I'm in that yeah right now too, just having a
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: hard time.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: So when you go through that timeline, I want to
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: be very clear that you can tell that a man
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: who didn't want anyone else to succeed came up with
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: this system because it costs so much for all of
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: that paperwork. The paperwork is extensive. It's like going to
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: the DMB, except for the rules are made up and
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: the points don't matter, and you you hit a pitbull
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: with every new person that you talk to, and I'm like, well,
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: my conspiracy brain is like, that's purposeful.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: Because it is hard. So, like you know, originally, so
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: I went to the city and it's like what do
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: I need and they're like, you need a business license.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: He's like, right, I know that, but like what do
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: you need from me? Because this is what I'm doing?
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: And they're like, well, you need a classification and I
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: was like okay, well I don't know how to determine that.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: I don't know what those are. So that took half
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: a day because then I had to do the paperwork.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: But then also on your business license, you can't use
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: a PO box, but I'm a home based business. Yeah,
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: so it's like, well that feels unsafe, you know. And
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: then and then if you want to have like my
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: business name is pros and Glow, that's a different department,
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: that's a different government institution. I had to go to
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: the county for that, and the county is like, so
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: then that's more money, right, And then the county is like, well,
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: where do you decide do you have whatever blah blah
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: blah blah blah. If you get if you type in
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: anything wrong, then you know. So it's like you have
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: to do it right the first time. And then that's
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: all process because where in our county where you have
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: to do that is also where you need to get
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: like your certified first certificate or a marriage certificate or
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: like any it's also where you reister to vote, like
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: it's the clerk or quarter's office. They keep record of
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: literally everything, so two separate institute. So then you know,
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: but you need it's called the captichious business license. You're
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: doing business as license or permit, so then you need
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: that so you can open your business account. But then
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: when I tried to open my business account, I called
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: where I do my personal financing, finance banking, my personal banking.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: I called the call center because I'm like, I need
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: to know what I need to bring in, and the
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: person on the other line was like, Okay, hold on,
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: I have a list. Great. She tells me what's on
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: the list. It's like cool. She tells me it's me
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: thirty dollars to open the bank account.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: It's like great.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: And then she's like, uh, let me schedule an appointment
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: with you with one of our business banking people. Do
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: you want to do it over the phone or do
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: you want to come in. I was like, I'd love
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: to do it over the phone because I don't want
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: to come in until I absolutely have to. And she's
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: like fine, so she schedules the appointment. So then I'm
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: on the phone with that guy and he's like, how
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: did you get disappointment? And I was like, what do
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: you mean? How did I get this appointment? Didn't this
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: system fucking tell you that the call center set this up?
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Like I had the same story with my sister had
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: the new baby, because like I was like, is it
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: all the medical stuff in the computer? Like you're in
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: a network.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: You're in a network.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Hi, my nephew's name up and tell me what he
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: has or what he does it at?
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Right? So then I talked to the guy. He basically
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: tells me the exact same thing. The person the gal
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: told me in the call center is like cool. He's like,
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: let's schedule an appointment to come in to open if
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: you're ready, and he's like perfect. I said, and it
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: was a Thursday, And I said, I have Farmer's Market
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: on Thursday, so I can be there anywhere between one
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: ten and one thirty. And they're like great. They show
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: up with everything they told me to have, which is
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: my DBA and thirty dollars and my ID. The woman
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: I'm supposed to meet with is at lunch because she
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: scheduled her lunch from twelve thirty to one thirty. Even
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: though I said I can be there anywhere between one
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: ten and one thirty, so nobody told me that they
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: may be potment for one thirty. Okay. Then I get
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: there and they're like, well, where's your business license, and
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: I was like, nobody told me I needed that. They
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: said thirty dollars, my ID and my DBA, and they
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: were like, no, you were told wrong. Who did you
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: talk to? And I said, well, the call center and
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: means someone from the business department, the business banking part. Well,
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: that's that's the call center. Like, they don't do this.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: Why would they know that? You were saying out loud
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: that the people who are the front line for customer
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: service have the wrong information. Are you fucking kidding me?
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: So then they're like, well, she won't be back from
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: launch until one thirty and we have to get authorization
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: to start your account before without having a business license.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: But I have my DBA. It literally has all the
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: same fucking information, except it has a county seal instead
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: of the city seal. Okay, So then I was like,
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: you know what, I don't want to wait. I'm tired.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: I want to go home and a and an event
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: that night. This is I'm tired and I want to
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: go home and I'll just come back another day. I
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: can come back on a Friday because that's my day
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: off from my regular job. And like, oh no, Fridays
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: weren't really busy, Like it's better if you come Monday
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: through Thursday. I didn't know this was about you. I
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: thought this was about me. And they told me, oh,
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: you need one hundred and thirty dollars to open up
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: an account. I'm sorry what I was to like, thirty,
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: So that's what I brought with me. No, no, it's
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: one hundred. It's one hundred and thirty, So one hundred
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: to go in the savings and thirty to go into
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: the business checking. Nobody said anything about a savings account.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: I'm aware of a whole ass savings account.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: Like what, this is insane. This is the most insane.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: This is the most instance. And like everyone right now,
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: I was like tes saying things like take your money
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: out of big banks and put it in a local
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: credit union. Well, my local credit union doesn't know what
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: the fuck it's doing.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: You heard it here first, Julia is pro big bank.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying. I did find a local bank that's
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: not a credit union, but it is an FDIC and
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: short bank and they're literally only in my area code. Yeah,
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: so it's like the same thing.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: It's local, it's the same thing. Well, so that's nonsense.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: That's not sense.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Yes, because as you know, and this is why, no
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: one will ever be able to buy my bracelets unless
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: you walk up to me and offer me cash money.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: As soon as something is more than two steps, I'm
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: done because nothing. Because we are in the Year of
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: our Lord twenty twenty five. People have told me that
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: this is an ignorant statement, but I believe that we
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: should be able to call our vote in for the
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: president like it was American Idol. I should be able
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: to vote online. I should be able to open business
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: counts online. I should be able to do everything from bed.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: That is where I want to be. That is where
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: I love the fact that you had to go to
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: upwards four places and talk to eighteen different people. It's able.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Lists it opens you up to sexism and racism because
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: we live in America.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: Well, and the thing is is like, why should I
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: bank with you? If you're literally saying, well, the call
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: center isn't the bank, isn't the business department so that
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: they won't know, I'm sorry if that's the way you're
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: going to talk about another department in your institution. I'm good.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: I'm good. I am good, Like who do you think
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: you are? So the theme of this episode is truly that, like,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: small businesses deserve your time and your cash because literally
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: they are operating in an economy that is not built
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: for them. Because something else that we have talked about
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: is people's inpatients. Now that the big bad man who
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: uses his child as a shield in a very pale,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: big house has made two days free shipping a thing
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: because he can afford it.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: And I'm going to tell you what. Shipping is so
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: expensive and like when small businesses offer free shipping, they're
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: eating that cost. In November twenty three alone, I spent
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: twenty three hundred dollars on shipping. That's a month, that's
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: one month, and there's just no way that I can
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: offer free shipping. And a friend of mine was like,
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: is there way you can do it if it's over
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: one hundred dollars And I was like, no, because that's heavier.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because shipping is based on weight. Yes, and it's
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: a bigger box. I think that people like to forget
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: that it's not that you're storing up your Amazon boxes
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: to then use as your small business boxes. Like I
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: realize that when I sign up for a Secret Sannah,
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: I go, oh my god, where's my Amazon box because
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: there's always one laying around, and then I cover up
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: all of my information and I doodle all over it
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: so they it's unrecognizable, and then I send it to
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: a loved one.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're not doing that because that would look
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: poorly on you. Yeah, because people expect you to have
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: branded boxes or to have a really nice presentation. And
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: I would love to be in a position where all
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: my boxes are branded and the tape is branded, and
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: we're using really nice tissue paper and like everything is
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: like perfect and beautiful when you open up. That's the
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: kind of shit you can do when Daddy invests in
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: your business. That's the kind of shit you can do
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: when someone says, here's you know, a couple of grand
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: maybe fifty, maybe one hundred, and like, go ahead and
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: start your business. Like that is not the shit you
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: do when you're like, I'm an employ and I would
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: like to continue living in a house.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: Because it's like there's so many tiny little things that
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: you don't think about, like collecting sales tax. You have
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: to keep that separate because you have to pay that
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: to your state. And because I have an e commerce site,
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: if somebody from a different state buys something from me,
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: and it collects sales tax and then I have to
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: pay that state. So it's like little things like that,
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: so like or like you know, shipping policies. Currently on
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: my website it says, you know, no refunds. Shipments go
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: out the Friday after you order, but if you order
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: Friday morning, there's no guarantee it's going out the same day.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: Because I have a part time job that keeps me underemployed,
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: which is fine. I don't want to work for them
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: full time anyway. I did that once. It was really hard.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: My emotional state can't take it. I actually prefer the
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: emotional stateium in now versus the one I was in
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: when I worked look for them full time. Neither is good.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Neither is good in this current moment. But Friday is
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: my only day off for my part time job, so
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: that's why stuff gets shop on Fridays. But then I
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: did something stupid like, oh, I didn't realize they ran
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: out of packing tape, So everything's gonna have to wait
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: until I can go out and get packing tape. Because
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: it's so hard because I'm not spending my money on
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: Like since November, I have reduced my use of a
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: certain service that also has a bunch of trees on
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: a different continent picking up where I'm putting down. And
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: so because of that, now I have to physically go
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: into like an office supply store or order it online
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: and have it same day pick up. Right. So it's
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: like I can't just because I'm trying to be ethical
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: about my business, because they no longer want to be
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: like my shipping boxes, you know, because when I first
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: started in twenty three, I would I get I'd get
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: my shipping boxes off at Amazon, and it cost me
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: a very little amount of money comparatively. In some businesses
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: have to do that in order to keep their costs
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: in a space where they don't where they're charging people,
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: you know, fifty dollars for something tiny. Yeah, yes, but
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: to give that man any more of my money.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I know, because he's so ugly. This is a tangent.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: He was recently at the White House on camera for
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: whatever reason, and then his shield boy shushed the President.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: I that was the moment that I realized I had
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: never watched him speak out loud. And boy was at
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: a trip for me. I go, that's what he sounds like,
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: and that's the way his mouth moves when he does.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the other part of it too, Like if
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: you're trying to well back to the whole, like sourcing
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: things epically, you know, it's like we no longer have
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: a system where doing the right and ethical thing is
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: the first and easiest choice. I don't know if that
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: system ever existed.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Actually, it never existed because we are I don't know
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: if you watched the super Bowl, Well you did because
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: we talked about it in the intro, but.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: Kendrick just watched the halftime show.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: Well yeah, Kendrick, let me know that this country was
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: built on slave labor and that's not ethical.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: So yeah, you're right, yeah, yeah, so none of it
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: is ethical and it's hard. So like the other day,
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: I was at an event at the local independent bookstore
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: who has become a partner of mine. We host events
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: together and they carry some of my product. Very cute
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: have been yes, yes, they uh, somebody placed order, somebody
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: didn't order through them, and two days later called and
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: said is my order in that No, And you know,
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: they very politely had to be like, it's not it's
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: on its way. We will call you when it's in.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: Because what used to be a place where people lived
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: and it created oxygen for a planet is now warehouses
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: ruined us and our expectations of what business should be.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I this is probably also a stupid tangent.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: I remember being a kid and being at my grandma's
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: house and the local deli was a family owned deli,
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: and it was walking distance from my grandma's house. So
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: when my grandma was irritated at us kids, she'd be like,
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: that's it, We're going for a walk. And we'd end
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: up at the deli and we get chicken salad and
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: ham salad for lunch, and we knew the guy by name,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: and he knew us all by name, and you know,
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: and am I a person who orders door dash every
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: time I'm in a food panic? Yeah, not walking to
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: a deli or getting in a car to go to
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: taco bell I'm in a panic mode. But I feel
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: like that also such a statement on where we're at
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: as a community high mindset too, because it's like I
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: don't want to get to know the person who is
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: I fully say drop that at my door and do
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: not look at me. I don't want to look at
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: you do not look at me.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: Having been a person who worked in public safety. A
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: lot of people who work in those jobs because I,
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: like us, couldn't get jobs in other spaces for different reasons.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Correct. Also, I just don't I'm not always public.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: Facing, like, yeah, I mean not everyone who works for
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: those services, is. I should preface that in the region
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: in which I live, Yes, it is a high number.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: I don't have my real name on any of those apps.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: Oh that's smart.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: I have men's names.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: Oh that's cuter. All right, Maybe I'll change at my
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: apps over probably not that sounds like a step, but
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: but what I'm saying is is like, Okay, so we
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: take tituter tot Tolwnhorn a lot, right, because he likes
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: the bread, and he's like a celebrity there, Like, he
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: loves to people watch, and he's cute, so people always
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: stop to say hi because he's yelling hi bye Hello. Yeah,
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: he's very fucking cute. However, we have one waitress who
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: works at Lawnhorn and another restaurant that's in that same plaza,
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: and she's like my new favorite person in the world
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: because she's complimented my hoodie twice, and she's nice to
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: my nephew, and we see her at both restaurants nice.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: So it's like, that's the fact I used to love
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: the people, my waitresses and waiters at my favorite sushi plays.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: There used to be a time before COVID where I
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: actually enjoyed being a member of my community. Now I
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: feel like I have to keep a bat in my
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: car because I don't know how you all voted in
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: this very red county.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: Make sure there's a glovey for too, uh huh going
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: to play softball.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: And so it's one of those things where it's like
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: it's the design of white men to be constantly complaining
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: that no one's making enough money and then also making
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: it completely It's just like gaslighting on a mass scale
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: that any of us are.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like me. It's like people telling me, oh,
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: that's too expensive, and then in the same breath, I
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: have business coaches being like, you need to be charging more,
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, no, I've done the market research. No
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: one's going to pay twenty dollars for a hand painted card.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: Trust me, I've tried. Come and sit with me at
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: the farmer's market four weeks in a row. Yeah, and
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: listen to all the different things that I have to
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: hear from people. Oh it's five because I recently raised
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: my printed card prices from five dollars to six fifty,
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: and even people when I was charging five dollars, was
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: like that's too much money, and you're like, well, the
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: person before you paid it and they bought ten cards,
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: so bye, you know. Or like the hand painted card,
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: I charged ten for the big ones and eight for
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: the little ones, and people will pick it up and
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: be like it's too much money. I'm like, yeah, go
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: spend the same amount of Hallmark and then that person's
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: just gonna throw it away. This is a hand painted
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: card that's not getting thrown away.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd love to know where they're getting their stationary
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: because you can't leave Target with a bag and a
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: card for less than fifteen dollars easily.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: I mean when I was doing my market, when I
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: was doing like pricing research, it was like, oh, everyone's
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: charging seven ninety five, Like I can. I can charge
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: five dollars for a printed card because a card the
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: same size is seven ninety five at Target. MM. So
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: then I didn't feel bad when I jumped my price
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: to six fifty, but people still get weird about it.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: And I did alone readiness class recently and the guy
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: was like, you need to be charging twenty three big
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: cards and I literally just like, it's like, don't open
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: your mouth. You already said something else that made him
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: kind of freak out, because you know, business world doesn't
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: understand Nero spicy. No one's paying twenty dollars for I
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: can pay to card. That is the dumbest piece of
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: advice that I received this year. And I received a
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: lot of dumb advice, but that was the stupidest piece
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: of advice I've heard this year.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: Well, because and I guess we'll arrive to it now.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: There is a lot there's a lot of privilege that
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: goes into the bi small mindset and ethically shopping, and
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: it is the privileged class who is kind of running
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: that commun I almost said ruining. I'm running that community
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: and also purchasing from that community. And if I know
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: anything about the privileged class, which I get to, you know,
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: flow in and out of depending on how different people
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: feel about me that day, I know that they don't
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: value anything. They don't value anything except for feeling right,
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: and they like got it good, so they're looking at
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: your six fifty card and mean, like who cares? And
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: it's and it's so shitty because I remember being like
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: a teenager and in my early twenties and whatever, and
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: this is when I hated myself and like I was talented,
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: so every time I came close to a talented person,
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: and I still very much am like this in awe,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: oh my god, you did this, you made this, you
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: sun this, And we're starting to lose that. And I
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: know it's because we're all grinding forty eight hours a day.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: I'm usually working on three things at one time, mostly
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: because of the ADHD, but also like, are the late
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: stages of capitalism are stressful? You feel like you cannot
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: get off of.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: It right and it yep mm hmm, and the thing
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: is so okay. I think what might have sparked as
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: having this conversation way back when as I went to
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: a business women's symposium and the two main keynote speakers
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: both married, both had husbands who had decent paying jobs
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: that allowed them the space to fuck off and find
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: out if they can make a business. So I'm sitting
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: there having had because it was September. So I'm coming
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: off of the worst month in my business in that
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: calendar year, and I'm like questioning everything of like, why
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: is this so fucking hard? Because everyone talks about how
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: hard it is, but then they also have like a
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: counter to that of like, but then I had the
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: you know blow, I worked really hard and it paid off,
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: and you're like, and sure, that can take three or
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: five years. I get it, the data supports that. But
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: it was like, no one said you could have months
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: where you're gonna be like, I'm not gonna make it.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: This is so fucking hard. I have to pay my
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: light bill, I have my food bill. I just have to.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: I have to stay alive, and you know, I need
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: people to buy my shit to do that. So I
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: was so bitter and angry by the end of that
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: symposium because everything, literally some every business owner I know
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: who is a woman has a partner, whether they're married
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: or not. But the point is the same is there's
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: somebody else carrying the biggest load, which is paying the rent,
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: paying the mortgage, paying the utilities, making sure everyone has
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: health insurance. And I know that this is what I'm
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: gonna say next to some of the antithesis of what
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: your podcat cast is when you have a partner, usually
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: mail or not usually sometimes male, who is making more
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: money because they are male, that's still helping the household,
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: because yes, it's shitty they aren't doing other things. If
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: they aren't doing other things, but the burden of having
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: to worry about how's my light belt gonna get paid,
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: how's my rent gonna get paid, how is any of
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: this stuff? So I can fucking exist gonna get paid
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: if I don't have sales this week is not there
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: so you can afford to have a week where you
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: have no sales when your partner is paying for everything.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: And I understand that creates a whole other situation, right,
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: Like there's other equity issues within that dynamic, and I
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: understand that I don't but I don't understand that because
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: I'm not in that situation because my entire adult life
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: has been just me making sure my kid stays alive,
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: I stay alive, my dog stays alive, and have and
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: forbid if my car breaks down, because that's my backup plan,
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: right Like, I'm living out of that if this doesn't work, right,
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: And so I'm sitting in this room with all of
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: these empowered women. Everyone at my tables fucking married or
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: is divorced, so like at some point, right, so I'm
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: just sitting there and I'm just like, I hate this.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: Tell me a show me a fucking woman who didn't
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: have a partner or daddy's money to start their fucking business.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: Where are the women who started their businesses out of
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: desperation because society said go get educated. We got educated,
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: and they said, just kidding, We're not gonna give you
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: a fucking job anymore.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: And we took away DEI.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: So I'm like, I'm raging to you in a voice
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: note because I was like, I can't fucking put up
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: with this bullshit, this women empowerment bullshit. Fuck you. You
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: all have partners, you could run the risk.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: Girl boss culture is a privilege, and it's why we've
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: started to make fun of it. And turn, I've.
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: Also clearly very still irritated. And that was back in September.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: Well, and I know that you just said that this
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: that was like the antithesis to my podcast, but it isn't.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: And this is why you and I grew up with
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: fairly similar and fairly different challenges. But money wise, we
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: were probably usually mostly on the okay side of it
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: as kids. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, My in my home
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: growing up, my mother's job was always an accessory income.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: I don't even know if that's a term. Did I
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: just coin that it's a shitty term. But I feel
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: like part of the patriarchy and part.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: Of fun money.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: It's the fun money. I think part of what the
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: patriarchy has done in not only disenfranchising the work and
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: labor of women by not paying us, is also in
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: the language that we talk about women's work. Oh honey,
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: you wanted to own a business because you're a bored
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: white lady whose kids have gone to school. Sure, honey,
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: I'll buy you some beads from Michaels. Let's see what
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: we can do with this. And it's like, because of capitalism,
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: instead of just like bored white ladies getting to like
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: be at their kids' school, causing a ruckus for the administration,
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: or like pretending to care about dolphins and other charities,
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: they now have at sea stores. And again that's an
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: overgeneralization because it's the way that we talk about women's work.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: So it's like, Julia, why would you go to a
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: women's Business owned symposium and be the only income for
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: your household. That is simply never a thing because we're
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: supposed to be married and with child and pregnant all
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: the time and moving in and out of work and
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: being accessory incomes.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's really frustrating because when you have when
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: you no longer have to carry the burden of how
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: your basic needs are going to get met, you have
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: so much space to focus on everything else. And I
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: don't have that luxury. I did recently take on a
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: bookkeeper because it turns out I'm real bad in that department.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: No matter how hard I tried, I just was still like,
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: it's just like the business doesn't look profitable on paper,
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: isn't me? Am I doing the math wrong? Am I
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: not understanding how I'm spliced to doing this? So I
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: found somebody who is at a reasonable price, And when
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: I looked at my income reports over the course of
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: the years, like I can realistically afford this if I mind,
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: if I'm mindful about how I'm spending my money, which
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: I always I thought I was being mindful about spending
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: my money. Anyway, It's just expensive. Insurance is extensive, Like
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: you pay me for a product, You're not just paying
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: for that product, You're also paying for my insurance. You're
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: also paying for ship like all the things everything on
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: the back end. And so that has been a nice respite,
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: but it doesn't change the fact that I still have
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: to worry about when does rent clear? When does this?
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: When does car insurance clear? Okay, so you know my
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: dog got six You know, I have to worry about
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: where the money is going to come from, Like what
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: am I not paying? So I need to get my
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: dog's meds, like you know what I mean. So like
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: my business account isn't suffering because that's separate money, but
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: I still have to figure out right, like I still
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: pay my phone bill from business expenses because my phone
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: is the fucking cash register. Or like like other things
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: too where I'm just like I in my car. You know,
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: there's just so many things. And then because of the
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: summer that I had, as you know, we had a
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: family health crisis. I came home and didn't have somebody
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: else to help. After a six hour commute really because
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: three hours or three hours back to the hospital where
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: my family was, so I can't I would come home
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: after commuting and then have to do everything, business, personal,
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: all of it. So it was literally like, oh, I'm
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: gonna die. This is so overwhelming.
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: And well and I think number one, I think it,
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: and I know because I'm ignorant about money and math
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: and all of it. I think it's so stupid that
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: our money is never our money, so we have to
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: like tie it into a bunch of different fads to
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: like prove that we have it. Like you can't. And
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: again it's because you have to support your own business,
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: but also because of like laws and taxes and whatnot.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: But every set and dollar that you either earn, spend,
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: or save has to be accounted.
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: For, right, because if I take money without accounting for it,
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: it's embezzlement. Yeah, even though in like I understand that
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: on a corporate level that that's shitty, Like we've seen
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: musicians who've had financial people embezzle from them and that shitty.
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: But in this instance, I'm like, if I'm I'm hungry
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: and I worked all day, it's I need to buy
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: myself food.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: Like correct, And if you sniffed a candle while you
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: were ordering your door dash, that's a business center because
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: you were researching.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: But it's like the rules are so dumb, and they're
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: different if you're still proprietor versus a soul an escre
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: versus an LLC versus an LLC partnership. Like there's so
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: many things that are so confusing, and like ellc's aren't
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: the same in every state, so like it's only eighty
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: dollars to become an ELC in California, but then like
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: immediately within like so many days, you have to pay
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: your LC bill and I'm just like, I can't afford that.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: You will literally clear out my bank account after I do. Like,
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: so it's just it's like, so I have a candle,
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: give me a business loan, or give me a red husband.
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: I'd rather the business loan. But now with the state
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: of the financial institutions because of all the shit that's
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: going on, I'm like, maybe you're the red husband is
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: a better idea. I don't know, but it's one of
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: those situations where I'm just like, just give me fucking
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: money to launch this business. The trajectory is there, the
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: projections are good. It's just getting to the point where
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: it's profitable is very, very taxing.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: And now we have these four idiots who are also
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: criminals literally making all of the choices for how this
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: will go down for the next four years to our lifetime.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: And it's scary because they don't have to follow any
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: of the rules, Like we know that these men have
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: embezzled and are criminals in all of it, and we
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: know that they have money that will never even comprehend
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: in just like numberless bank accounts on islands I wouldn't
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: be able to point to on a map.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: The financial institutions would have to collapse. That's the only
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: way that they would never have money like they have.
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: There's so much money that they have money for millennia, millennia,
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: you know, and that's still more, still one more.
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: None of us know why, And so they don't have
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: to follow any of those rules, like they don't have
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: to worry about whether or not their taco bell is
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: embezzledent because they don't care, because they can just hire
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: teams of lawyers to prove to you that it wasn't.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: And they and I think the best thing that we
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: could start doing during the next four years to the
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: rest of our lives, because who knows what's going to happen.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: It started questioning like why do we let three very
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: unattractive men. Hold our feet to the fire every day, like,
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: what are we starting to do to make sure that
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: like regulations actually change? Special education is actually still going
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: to be a thing, because I guess no one understood
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: what the Department of Education did and everyone just went,
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: I want that place to burn because common core math
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: is hard, and I was like, I get it. It is.
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: I had to teach it, and I taught it like
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: a reading lesson, and I tried to tell you all,
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: if you learn the vou cab, it actually makes it
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: very easy. And no one listened to me because no
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: one reads in this country either.
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: So well. And what's frustrating is, you know, this whole
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: this idea, not this whole comp what's happening is all
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: these tax credits for the one percent in corporations and
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: what have you. We're seeing more and more people come
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: to platforms saying like I have a tax bill for
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: the first time since I've been filing taxes, and it's
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: like right, because he said that's what he was going
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: to do. Remember, am I the only one that heard that?
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: When Kamala was running her campaign and she kept talking about,
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: you know, strengthening the middle class and helping small businesses
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: and doing a small business credit. A friend of mine
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: who works for the city specifically with a certain type
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: of small business, we were talking about that and I said,
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: you know, tax credits are great, but give me the
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: fucking money now, because give it upfront, because a tax
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: credit means that I can claim it later. But if
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: I don't have the money to do it now, it's
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: going to be a long time, right, So like, just
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: give me fifty grand so I can make this work.
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: I will spin it into profitability in two years, Okay, Like,
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: I promise you my shit, set my part, please sell
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: out my events, sell out get Launching product takes a
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: little bit more work, takes a lot of work actually,
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: so you know, it's frustrating. And then somebody else in
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: the conversation was like, well, that's very Republican of you,
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: and I said, no, it's not republican. This is not
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: a Republican or Democrat issue. This is a do we
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: want a thriving economy of small business issue. It's nothing
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: to do with what fucking column you identify with, because
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying the government shouldn't you know what I mean.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: It's like if the government wants to give me fifty
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: grand interest free, and I'll pay it. I'll become I'll
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: make my business profitable and start paying it back, like
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: sign me up. But that's not how it works. You
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: want to give me a fucking credit. It's just like
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: the child tax credit. You want to give me a
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: tax credit for keeping a child alive, But because in
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: filing it with my annual taxes, I may not actually
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: see the full amount of that credit, it just reduces
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: how much I have to pay. Or you know, it
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: worked because there was one year where I got the
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: child tax credit, but because of some other things like
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: I ended up not even getting that back. It just
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: reduced how much I was going to get, if that
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: makes sense. I don't know if that make sense, But
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: I'm just like, just give me the sucking money up front.
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: Give me this fucking money up front. I'll confirm that
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: I still have that child full time, just like you know,
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: and then and then again being big boom.
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: Called good right, It's just gaslighting on a bass scale.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: So I wanted to see if there was anything else
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: you wanted to hit on, and whether or not it
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: had anything else to do with being a single woman,
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: or was that part enough for you, because that was
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: the big goal of this episode.
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I do actually want to see I don't
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: think that there is enough representation. I don't want to
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: say representing. I don't think there's enough support. Like I
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: know that we have to have like all these different
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: like this whole concept when you have kids and don't
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: have kids, or when you're married and when you're not married.
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: It can get become a heated conversation. But I think
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: in terms of starting a business, it's very different because
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: what you have in your toolbox when you get started
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: can really determine what kind of outcome you have. So
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: like right now, I'm very lucky that I'm renting from
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: a family member because if in that month I have
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: to say, hey a little less right, they're not going
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: to evict me, which is my current privilege. With that said,
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: there could be a day, it could be tomorrow, it'd
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: be in six months where this family member is no
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: longer in a position to rent to me and I'm
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: still trying to get my business off the ground where
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: I'm going to have to pay full rent. Right, So
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: that's my privilege. So I have a family member who's
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: helping me out right now, which is my privilege, very
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: different from a partner, very different from you know whatever.
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: So my point is, here's what I'm trying. Here's my point.
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: There needs to be some sort of support system for
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: single women who want to start businesses because the system
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: is not designed for you. For us to start a business,
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: we don't have the same purchasing power when it comes
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: or borrowing power. Rather, we don't have the same borrowing power.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: We don't have the same access to information. It was
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: so hard. Even when I did reach out to the
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: Small Development Center and said, here's what I am trying
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: to do, it still took them a minute to figure out,
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: like what coach to put me with. And even then
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: that still took a couple of months to like narrow
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: down the kind of work we need to be doing
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: and what direction they needed to go in terms of
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: filing paperwork and oh, you know, don't do that, do
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: this kind of shit. So like there needs to be
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: a class that's that support system that's like, so you
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: need to start a business because you don't want to
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: sit around, and you're not lazy and no one's giving
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: you a job. And truly, anybody could take it, but
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: the people who don't have a financial support system, access
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: to resources. It's just like buying a house when people
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: are like, oh, just ask your parents for the down payment.
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: What the fuck are your parents that you can do that?
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean, it's kind of the same.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: It's like you have to be in a very privileged
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: position in order to do the things that they tell
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: us makes America great, owning a home, going to college,
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: starting a.
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: Business, right, and it was supposed to be for all
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: of us, is the thing. And I think my biggest
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: lesson is is that, you know, I think it's like
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: always centered around that idea of well, why is it
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: so hard? Because we love to like scream it at
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: the wind, like why is this so hard? And it's
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: like there are actual reasons, and they are actual reasons
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: that were put in the place by elected officials that
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: people voted for. And then those people were in the
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: pockets of people we did not vote for, and they
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: didn't even have the like audacity or the like the
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: common sense to lie to us. They said to your
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: face what they were going to do, and then you
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: voted anyways because you were like maybe I hate people
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: who don't look like me. I don't know. Yeah, maybe
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: I do, because the whole thing, the bottom line is
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: is I'm not supposed to be paying myself yet because
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: we're not profitable enough yet for me to pay myself.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: Then there needs to be a low cost program where
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: I can come in and say, listen, my financials not great.
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: My personal finances not super great because I've been unemployed
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: and i'm you know, or because of whatever reasons. But
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: I have this solid business plan, and I have this
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: solid business that it has a really great trajectory. Please
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: please please let me borrow fifty thousand dollars at zero
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: interest so that way I can get this off the
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: ground and start paying you back and I can still
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: keep my house, feed my car, feed my kid, feed me,
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: feed my car, feed my dog, because that would make
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: a huge difference. But instead it's okay, we can give
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: you a lolow rate of I don't know, seven and
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: a half percent, yeah, or you know. But but here's it.
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: Because here's the thing, Natalie, if you're the financial institution
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: who's let me borrow the money, it's gonna be sitting
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: in your bank, in my bank account, in your bank anyway.
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: So you're making money off of me sitting it, having
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: it sit in your fucking bank anyway.
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: Right, and it's all just stumbers on a phone, Like
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: I cannot ever stress that I don't know.
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: Exactly because if I tried to pull out fifty thousand dollars,
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: you're going to freak out because you don't have enough
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: money to do that in your institution. Anyway. That's my
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: that's my rant.
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: It's not even a ran because like the whole purpose
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: of this podcast is to talk about why things are
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: hard and to be honest about why things are hard.
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: And things are hard because we tolerate men continuing to
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: build systems that do not work for anyone who is
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: not them. And by men I mean largely white men,
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: white educated men. If we really want to get into it. However,
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: they uneducate us, and they under educate us on purpose.
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: The things I saw while I was teaching, the things
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: I've seen in education since, the things I remember going
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: through in education, where I'm like, why is it that
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: I left fourth grade reading at a collegiate reading it
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: like natural ability is great? But also I was taught
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: well and teachers were exhausted, but they were a little
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: less exhausted than what I'm currently saying now if they
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: had to physically do the math to figure out if
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: I had to B plus or an as you know,
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: and I would have faked it, like I would have
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: faked the math.
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: I can't math. That's why I hired a bookkeeper. But
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: you know, but you're right, You're absolutely right, You're absolutely right,
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: because it's like these systems don't need to be super hard,
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: but they're hard because they're keeping out people, people, keeping
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: out a very specific group of people that they're not
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: going to say it. Well, actually they are saying it
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: out loud now, but they weren't saying it out loud
• 59:25
  Speaker 2: ten years ago.
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And the thing of it is, too is like
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: small business or big business, big business is also based
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: off of people who is also built up people making
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: eleven dollars an hour.
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: That's right, that's the thing because every time minimum wage
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: goes that small businesses will say things like, well, we
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: have to use our prices then, and I'm like, I
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: don't know what, I don't. I don't actually think that
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: you have to, And there's economists that say that you don't.
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: You just need to, like anyway, anyway, that's not the point,
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: But the point is is like you have to weather
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: so many things, right, Like a ton of people did
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: no by January, A lot of people are participating in
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 2: NO by twenty twenty five. And for a lot of people,
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: that means corporations, they're given up targets, they're given up
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 2: the walmarts, they're giving up the amazons. The role is
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: is that because people are saying things like no by
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: twenty twenty five, there is no clarification of like, well
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: what about small business? Because if you don't buy from
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: small business, you know what else goes away and and
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: weakens your community.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: Nohime's my business, right, So would you say that your
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: network of single women but business owners that also have
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: grants and government money available to them would be your manifestation.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: I mean that definitely works. I think my manifestation is
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 2: that more people. I guess as much as I'm screaming
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: about like give me money, let me have that, I
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: think what I actually truly want is for more people
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: to understand the value of having small business and communities
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: and what it actually does to strengthen the community.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: Well, because I think also I think our biggest problem
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: with capitalism isn't even that you and I aren't making money,
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: it's that people aren't happy.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: I was asked yesterday, why do you do that job
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: if it does not matter to you? Because I am
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: very aware that the work that I do for money
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: does not matter to me. And I said, because we're
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: all clicketty clacketing away for these points to get pizza.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: I have to put in enough clickety clackety hours to
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: get my points for pizza.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: Did you see the backlash about Joannes, Like this woman
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: on TikTok was like, oh, are you looking for Joanne's closing?
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: But you should be supporting a local textile fabric store anyway,
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: and like everyone got ate her up in the comments
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 2: because it was like, yeah, Joannes a corporation, and like
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: it sucks that, Like corporation's bad. They also employ thousands
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: of people. So now that they're closing five hundred stores,
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: I mean if each store employed ten people.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's five one hundred thousand people.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: That is a lot of people unemployed in the community
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 2: who are now in the position that you and I
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: are in, which are we're either unemployed or underemployed. So
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: like you know, whether or not you want to be
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: pro Joanne's is still local people working in those businesses, right.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: And so I think that's what it is. I would
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: love it if we actually we're a country that actually
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: believed in opportunity, because I keep hearing that we are
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: and I'm not seeing a lot of opportunity. And I'm
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: definitely not seeing a lot of opportunity for talented creative
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: people that isn't built off of their own sweat and
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: tears and credit scores.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: Right. I guess during COVID they loosened the credit score
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: number a little bit to get a business loan, and
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: I was like great, Like that actually doesn't make me
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: feel any better, but yeah, it is. Especially in the
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 2: creative arts, people really struggle with understanding and believing. Like
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: I'm lucky that people send cards and there's a candle season,
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: but even then, I still have people who are like, oh,
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: you want twenty five dollars for the scandal? Yeah, because
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: I literally designed the artwork on the label. It is soy,
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: it is hand poured.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: The ones that you're buying from Math and Body Works
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: are thirty dollars. You just wait until the one day
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: they're on sale.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: And those are you also have to take into consideration
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: with buying mass market candles that there probably is paraffine
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: waves and I shouldn't be burning. Billie.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: Do you have any other manifestations or lessons? I kind
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: of did our closing out ceremony dirty because I can
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: feel the phlem rising in my body again.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: No, I don't. I just I just in my general
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: I just want people to be more understanding.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, wouldn't that mean something?
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think sod advice to small business ow them.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: So when we were here for Beyonce, I said, I'm
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: taking all the white men off of my Spotify and
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: al Renthia went, that'll be a lot, and I wait,
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: I know, and I'm prepared because not one of them
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: has proven to me that they deserve my fifteen cents
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: per stream. It's probably more than two cents, but correct,
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: they still don't earn it. And I think another goal
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: for twenty twenty five, just because everything feels so dark
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: Injery and all of it, and I guess, against all odds,
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: I do want to live and be happy. I know
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: that's weird with how often I have suicidal ideation, but
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: could you imagine actually wanting to live and be happy,
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: even if you are like me, a bedrod person. I
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: think I am just going to start recognizing that the
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: world is full of people who are also living in
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: this awful system with me, and I am appreciative of
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: them that they have a job so I can get
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: one slice of cake at my air instead of a
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: whole cake. They're doing something for the single ladies and
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: it's single lady cake and you can get one slice
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: and someone has to cut that.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: And it is because I haven't done this and I've
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: moved recently, and in day I wasn't a big deal
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: in my community, but people knew me in my community
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: because I was going to theaters and I was going
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: to family owned restaurants, and I was going to bars
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: that were owned as small businesses, and I was talking
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: to people. And I haven't done it here because of
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: all of my mental hangups about being here. But it's
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: a good goal for twenty twenty five to actually start
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: talking to the people in my community, even though I
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: don't trust them.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: Here's what I'm going to add to that. We recently
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: had a restaurant closed down in town, and my parents
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 2: won't stop talking about help set they are, there's no
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: place in town you can get a decent mealmail right,
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: like it's a higher end restaurant, locally owned.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: An anniversary restaurant like ooh a date night.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And they're relocating because where they are it's a
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: huge lot. And so the church next door offered them
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: a lot of money for the land and they said, yeah, okay,
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: because money talks. And I said, One, there's other good
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: places that you can eat in town. You just don't
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: want to go downtown. And I understand that. Two. You
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 2: cannot be upset when a business you love is going
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 2: out of business and it's been six months the last
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: time you were there, because that is not sustainable business
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 2: for the people who own it. We rely on people
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: shopping every single day. So when a business is closing down,
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: that isn't a joyant situation because that is a clustterom
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: mess and not necessarily the fault of the employees. You
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: see both them in twenty eleven. It is imperative for
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: you to use your dollars in a way that's going
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: to allow local businesses thrive. So i'm, i'm this is
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 2: not a manifestation. This is more of a threat. You
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 2: don't get to be You don't get to be mad.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 2: You're not allowed to be mad. If a business that
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: you love that you haven't patroned in six months is
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: closing down because they're closing down because you times a
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: thousand haven't been going in.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's making your purchasing power manner matter.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 2: Because it's not the only one. Another business in town
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 2: is like, we're hearing people closing up a lot more now,
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: especially in the restaurant industry, and I'm just like, you
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: have to fucking go, Like you can't just be sad
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: they're closing. You have to go or they're gonna close.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 2: Like why is this an economy lesson that we don't understand? Okay,
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 2: now I'm done. I will end with this, thank you
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: Natalie for letting me rage against the machine.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: Have the machine needs to be raged against more than ever.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: It's just who knew I'd end up this episode being
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: like I want to live. Okay, I think it's news
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: to me. I didn't even say I want to live
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: because I'm worried about who will feed Penelope if I don't.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: I was just like, I I guess I want to live, Yes,
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: all right? If anything for cheap movie night, a free.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 2: Popcor comedy, professional comedy.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: And working towards my career as a professional comedy writer
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: and our and or artist an artist of comedy. If
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: you will, yes, Julia, Yes, do your plugs.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 2: Hello friends, I'm Julia Washington. As a reminder, i am
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: the owner of Frozen Glow, the facilitator of Jellypop's book Club,
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 2: and to quote my dear friend, there is no shortage
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: of me on the Internet. You can find me on
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: Instagram at the Julia Washington or if you want to
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: follow the business at prose and Glow. You can also
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: find me on TikTok while it is still here because
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: it's now again available in the Google app in app Store.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: On TikTok, it's the same the Julia Washington and I
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: hope that you feel motivated to reevaluate how you assess
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 2: your dollar, how you spend your dollars. It doesn't happy
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: with me, but if you decide based on this conversation
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 2: that Natalie and I have had to shop more deliberately
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 2: in the small business space, that would just make my
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: heart so happy. It would make it happier if you
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 2: bought some of my shit.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and also check your attitude. I mostly just mad
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: that people are shitty, just all business owners, because I'm like,
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: check your fucking attitude, Like, okay, I.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: Had I shit you not. The last time I did
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: a market, I had somebody like tell me how I
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: should redesign my cards.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: Oh cute. Listen. When I don't have money and I
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: end up being places where people are hockeying their wares,
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: I literally pay them in compliments and that's all that
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 1: is my job. And I look at them, I go
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: wish I was a broke Do you have a card?
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: So when I'm not broke, we can be onto something.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 2: Probably the best feeling when someone's like, I don't have
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 2: the money now and I'll be back, and then they
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 2: come back, Oh my god, that person. First classic itt
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: to happen.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: First class ticket to Heaven. Have you heard?
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 2: Have you heard? All? Right?
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: Well, everyone listens to all the men I've tolerated before.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: You can find us on the internet at men I've
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: tolerated pod and Nantley K one two four on Instagram
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: and use Danpley K one two four on TikTok. I'm
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: also on Blue Sky I don't know.
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 2: I'm also on this guy too. I forgot about that one.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 2: It only has thirty million people in comparison to the Elies.
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, I can't even fathom that number. I don't even
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: know if I know how to put all the Zeros.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: It's one hundred and sixty million.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, I don't all right look us up on the internet.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: I'm always answering comments, whether or not they're nice. And
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: I remember, tolerators. You don't have to smile through anything
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: you're tolerating, including being told that your income is an
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: accessory income. Smiles are for joy.