Latest / The Daily Sarcast / April 2nd, 2026: Tiger Woods, Devilish Lime Cherry Chic And A Backfired April Fools Joke

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April 2nd, 2026: Tiger Woods, Devilish Lime Cherry Chic And A Backfired April Fools Joke · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is sponsored by April Fool's jokes that turn out to be real news today.
• 0:05
  Did you see the rendition of the library he's building? It's a giant,
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  it looks like a giant penis.
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  Whoopi Goldberg on Trump's new library yesterday on The View.
• 0:14
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and
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  maybe a laugh. I'm Lindsay Vernick and it's April 2nd, 2026.
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  I hope you enjoyed the Daily Starcast yesterday, April Fool's edition.
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  It's funny how many people actually fell for it.
• 0:31
  My sister was listening to it yesterday morning, and she listened to the part
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  about how Trump apologized for everything that he ever said,
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  did, or was going to do, about how Jesus is coming back on Sunday,
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  but just to do carpentry.
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  But then when she got to the part about kids responding to their bags of rustling
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  chips, that's when she's like, wait, what are you talking about?
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  So I'm glad my sister really believe that Jesus is coming back on Sunday.
• 0:59
  In real news, yesterday, NASA launched a rocket ship that sent four astronauts
• 1:04
  on a 10-day mission to fly around the moon.
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  I found what was the most interesting about it was that they stopped the countdown
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  right before liftoff, which really makes you wonder what the point of a countdown
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  is if we're just going to hit pause on it.
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  Like, the countdown is supposed to give you the timer of when it's actually going to leave.
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  So if there's no countdown, then how do we know when it's going to leave?
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  You might as well just be like, all right, guys, we're leaving now.
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  Eventually, they did hit the play button on the countdown, and the rocket did take off.
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  And then suddenly, everyone's brain does that thing where it flashes back to
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  every previous launch that went wrong.
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  Because once you've seen one, your nervous system keeps a running tab.
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  Lab so right now they're heading to the moon
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  and they will be there in about four days that's longer
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  than some relationships i've had they'll orbit earth
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  run system checks and then head toward the moon so the real question is though
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  why are we even going to the moon the short answer is we're actually trying
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  to go to mars the moon is basically a practice run nasa wants to make sure everything
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  works the rockets life support heat shields before sending humans even farther into deep space.
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  It's less about the destination and more about a very expensive test drive.
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  They also want to eventually build a lunar base on the moon.
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  Not for a vacation destination, but as a stepping stone to explore deeper into the solar system.
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  Think of it as a rest stop on the way to Mars.
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  Except, instead of snacks and bathrooms, it's science and survival.
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  So this mission is not the finish line. It's the first chapter.
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  And the whole thing is basically NASA saying, we think we can do this,
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  but let's just triple check before we commit.
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  I mean, that is reassuring, because if you're going to send people into space
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  for 10 days and call it a test, you really want the test to pass.
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  So Tiger Woods is back in the headlines, and not for golf, which is very on brand for him.
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  He was arrested for a DUI after flipping his car in Florida.
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  And before you picture some wild night out, no. He actually blew a 0.0 on the
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  breathalyzer, so he wasn't drunk.
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  According to the police report, Tiger says he was looking down at his phone
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  and changing the radio station.
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  Which, I'm sorry, are we hosting a DJ set or operating a vehicle? Pick a struggle.
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  He didn't notice a truck slowing down in front of him, and he tried to go around
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  it and then clipped the trailer and then flipped his car, which feels like a
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  very aggressive consequence for trying to skip a song.
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  Now here's where it gets less oops and more of an oh no.
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  Officers said he looked lethargic. He was sweating, even though the AC was on,
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  he had bloodshot eyes, and was stumbling through sobriety tests,
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  basically giving guy who insists he's fine while clearly not being fine.
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  They also found hydrocodone in his pocket, which is an opioid painkiller.
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  Tiger says he takes prescription medication, which to be fair,
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  his body has been through enough surgeries to qualify to make it sound reasonable.
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  But still, driving while impaired is not a he's been through a lot situation.
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  It's maybe a don't get behind the wheel situation.
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  And if this sounds familiar, it's because it
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  is he had another dui back in 2017 involving
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  multiple drugs and then went to treatment so this
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  isn't a shocking plot twist it's more like a disappointing reboot the good news
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  is no one was hurt which feels like the only reason the story isn't a lot darker
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  but yeah if your excuse starts with i was on my phone and ends with my car flip
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  maybe the takeaway is don't mess with the radio station while they're playing a song you don't like.
• 4:36
  Diet Coke has a new flavor, but you can't buy it.
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  I mean, nothing makes people want something more than being told,
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  absolutely not, you may not have this.
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  The flavor is called Devilish Lime Cherry Chick, which sounds more like a nail polish color.
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  It's only available at AMC theaters through those soda machines that already
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  overwhelm you with 400 options that you didn't even ask for.
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  The drink is tied to the Devil Wears Prada 2, because apparently the most natural
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  movie pairing is Meryl Streep in a psychotic soda name.
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  And the flavor itself is cherry and lime. Like, congratulations,
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  you invented something that already exists. You just gave it a new weird name for branding.
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  Also, it's only available for a limited amount of time.
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  I just love the idea of someone going to the movies, ordering popcorn,
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  and being like, can I also get the devilish lime cherry chick?
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  Like you're ordering a cocktail at a bar.
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  But honestly, this is where we are now. Movies aren't just movies.
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  Their experiences, their branding opportunities.
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  There's beverages with backstories. In Lindsay life, my ex, who I am now friends
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  with, called me and told me he wants to get back together with me.
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  So I told him that that's all I've been waiting for these past six months and
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  I've never stopped loving him.
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  It caught him so off guard. So moral of the story is your April Fool's joke can backfire on you.
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  Things people pretend they don't do, but absolutely do.
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  Take a screenshot on their phone for later and never look at it again.
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  Take 15 videos of a concert and never, ever look at them again.
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  Say, I'll do it tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes. Judging someone for something
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  you literally just did last week.
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  Acting like you have a plan for life when you're just really improvising in real time,
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  cooking tip of the day before you pour salt onto anything look at the top of
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  the container first to make sure it's not completely open feedback comments
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  questions a nice jewish by looking for a date email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com
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  thanks so much for listening talk to you guys.