Latest / From Sad Pick Me Girl to Alchemist / Episode 6 - Misconceptions About Spirituality & How You Actually Call In Love
Transcript
- Denise: Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of From Sad Pick Me Girl to Alchemist. My name is Denise, and if this is your first time listening here, I talk about how I went from being a Pick Me Girl to alchemizing some of the life experiences that I had so that I could live my best life and I am sharing with others how to do the same. And I always want to Preface by saying that my life is not perfect. This is not someone who is walking this, or rather, talking to you from a place where I feel like I'm above anybody. I am very much walking the walk and sharing my story along the way because I know that the things that I have done do work. I am living proof and I believe in raising the collective, and my way of doing so is sharing my stories. So, with that, today I want to talk about spirituality. How it shifted my life and how my perception of it has changed, but I also understand why people are skeptical. And with any field of work that you're in, there are always going to be people that are less than credible. That is one thing that I've learned. And I like to err on the side of caution, but I also want to give people the benefit of the doubt. So there is finding a balance. And As I delve more into spirituality and start to interview healers and talk to different healers, I realize that the reality is not everyone is credible. That's just it. And sometimes it could be just a lack of alignment, but I really do think that we have to use our discernment no matter what we are doing. Discernment is everything because not everyone is going to be walking the same path as you, not everyone is going to have the same viewpoints as you. Not everyone is going to have your best interests at heart. A lot of people are very self serving. And it is up to you to decide what is for your best and highest good, not up to anybody else. And so for me, spirituality has been interesting because to me, the the prep the whole, I guess the main objective for me is strengthening your connection with self. Because I think that once you really learn to honor yourself, listen to yourself, honor your boundaries, and be selective of who you allow in your circle, your reality shifts. Now I do think that to some extent connecting to higher sources and having some of the messages that are clear from them come to you is helpful because to me I think that I've been I've seen the most progress knowing what my life purpose is, knowing some of the challenges that I'm going to have to overcome, and knowing that the general theme of my life and why I'm here on earth. That is one of the things that I've had to look outside of myself. And what I mean by outside of myself, not necessarily like completely outside of myself, but really. Figure out what I thought was going to help me get that message and then connect with people who had stronger connections to source than I did. And what I mean by stronger connections is that they were more involved in their spiritual path. They had cleared some of the blockages that I'm still trying to clear. And they were credible. And I view them as credible. Are credible, I should say, not were. So what I'm encountering now though is that There are so many misconceptions of what spirituality is. And before I would think, you know, it's people that claim to know the future and they kind of think they're above everyone and everything's like zen, and you know, that toxic positivity. I don't necessarily love to use toxic positivity, but what I mean by that is the people that are like, ⁓ everything's fine, it's all chill. And I am very careful of not coming across as that person, although I think that I have become that. And it's just because I believe that everything does happen for us, not to us. And there is a lesson in everything. So I don't like to sit in that that space of, ⁓ my God, this is terrible. I like to see the the silver lining in situations. And yes, I can acknowledge that sometimes shit just sucks and it feels awful. But that doesn't mean that you sit in that space forever. You take what you need to learn from it and then you carry on. And yes, I understand that some life challenges are much harder than others, but this is just a general statement of navigating some of the regular challenges that we experience on a day-to-day basis, whether that's, you know, challenges with coworkers, whether that's challenges with family members, whether that's a breakup, you name it, things like that. So what I've realized though, too, is that a lot of the times people will view spirituality as this thing where, you know, I'm thinking of the people that I see that are just like very like they dress a certain way and they're like, ⁓ I'm just I'm channeling other realms and I yeah, like I just I really like to be in my own element and you know, those kind of people that talk like that, those are not people that are aligned with me and I'm not trying to talk crap. But that is what I think that a lot of the people that are are not necessarily open to spiritual out spirituality, that is what they view it as. And that is not me. I am not psychic. I know that I think that everyone has the capacity to be. I just not that. I don't know if it's because I mean I don't think I want to be, to be honest. I like what good does it do me? To me, connection with self is enough. I don't need to know what's going on in somebody's life and I don't know. To me, again, it's just not for me. So I'm not psychic. I'm not claiming to be a medium. I'm not claiming that I understand the deeper meaning. When I look at a tarot card, I have to pull the deck, read the literal meaning of it, and I'm like, I wonder what this means. So I know that there's a there's some strength to build there. But what I'm saying is like t spirituality is not just people that are tree huggers that claim to channel other realms or claim to talk to higher powers. Spirituality can simply be just You connecting with yourself, connecting with the earth, and grounding yourself and understanding that life has a deeper meaning than what we give it on the surface. So I hope that this helps clear some of the, I want to say hesitancies, hesitancies that some people would have with it. Because if I thought that spirituality was just a bunch of people hugging trees and claiming to know the future and you know, saying, ⁓ you shouldn't eat this and you shouldn't eat that and you shouldn't do this because it's bad for you. Then yeah, I wouldn't want to do it either. And I recently stopped drinking, as I shared in a previous episode, and it wasn't anything other than me wanting to strengthen my connection with self. And I do know intuitively that in order to progress to my next timeline, which I believe in timelines, if you don't believe in timelines, that's fine. I need to give up substances because I have always viewed substances as a way to have fun. And I haven't really done anything hardcore. Would I do it? Probably. But that's not the point. The point is, I need to understand who I am without the substances, without anything that's taking me to other dimensions. I just need to be present in the now and understand my life path now. And so I am going full throttle. Specifically helping women to break their toxic relationship patterns and their addiction to men because I was addicted to men and I had toxic relationship patterns. And people can say, you know, how do you know that you don't still carry those because you're not in a relationship? And that is true. And what I mean by that when I say this is that I now know that I love myself enough to not put up with the bullshit I was putting up with in relationships before. I won't let it get to those lengths. I can say that with the utmost certainty. Now, when I'm in a relationship, will I have to face some of the things that I hadn't realized that I still had to face? Absolutely. That is the glory of relationships, is they're mirrors and they also help us to understand the wounds that we still need to fix. So when I sit here and say I healed those things, that's not saying that I am perfect and I know everything and I am just ready to go. 100% I'm gonna have the best relationship and it's gonna be. Conflict free. Now, am I gonna have the best relationship? Yes, I do believe that part. Conflict free, conflict free? No. And so I want to teach women that the way that you magnetize relationships that are for your best and highest good is when you become the person who truly loves herself. And it's not easy. Walking the spiritual path isn't easy because you do lose a lot of relationships. Your perception of people changes, your perception of life in general changes. You stop worrying about things that a lot of people that are still very stuck in the 3D worry about. And for me, it's been difficult to navigate this change while maintaining a very corporate job because in the corporate world, everything is very surface level. I don't know how else to explain it. The shit that people are worried about, you're like, like, who fucking cares? And yes, I understand they want to make money, but people are freaking out, slacking me on a Sunday about something that doesn't need a Sunday slack. I'm sorry, I'm not gonna read that shit because that could have waited till Monday. And so That's the kind of stuff that it's been difficult for me to navigate because I know that I'm setting these boundaries. And people that are not in the spiritual realm are like, okay, are you being lazy? No, I am honoring my personal life. I am honoring my personal growth because I know in order to be my best self, I have to give myself time. And I need to recharge and I cannot just be giving my energy and outsourcing my energy to anyone and everyone. That is not just for the corporate world, that is for everyone in my life. And that applies to us all. So This is ⁓ this is something that I want to share with everyone is that you when you love yourself, your whole reality will shift. People will fall away, people continue to fall away, people that I don't think would or didn't think would, I'm just not as close with. And that's okay. You let people go with love, and sometimes letting people go doesn't mean that they completely, you know, are away from your reality. You're just not as close with them. And you learn that the universe is always replacing things, and it doesn't mean When I say replacing, it makes it sound like people are disposable. People are never disposable. Everything plays a role in your life for the time that it's meant to play. And you the more you grasp onto things, the more you hold yourself back from jumping into other timelines. And I do think that if we all awakened and walked the spiritual path, the world would look vastly different. We wouldn't have so much hate. We wouldn't have people telling themselves that they had to w I was gonna suck their soul dry. I like was gonna say something. Inappropriate. It's not. Anyway, ⁓ so they wouldn't be sucking their soul dry in roles that they don't love, thinking that that's the best way and that that's just how you do it and that's how you navigate the world. And sure, there are times where you do kind of have to suck it up and do things that you don't want to do to get to you where you want to be. But understand that that is a temporary thing. It's not a permanent thing. This isn't like, ⁓ okay, I'm just gonna stick this through. And I will say too, I don't want that lifestyle where people are draining themselves. So that they could live for retirement, because that's not a life either. What are you gonna do? What what if you don't make it to retirement, right? So I do think there's there's a fine balance between striving to always be better and honoring where you are now. And yes, I do think we should all have goals, but it's also to okay to be content with where you're at in life while understanding that there is always area for improvement. And if you're not striving to improve, you're staying in this point of stagnation. And I venture to say that you're probably not living a life that's fulfilled. And so I do think that ever all humans came here on earth to experience a fulfilling life. And when you learn to really master the 3D and your mindset, the world will start to change. And I remember when people would say that I'm like, okay, well, if that were true, then why wasn't everyone walking around rich as fuck, just like loving life? Because that's not the point. Honestly, I can say I don't find value in the material that much. And I'm not saying like Okay, yes, of course. If somebody gives me a Louis Vuitton bag, I will love it, sure. But I just I don't strive for those things. If that's not my end game. To me, it's freedom. Freedom to travel where I want to go. Freedom to not have to look at my phone and think, ⁓ my gosh, my performance is being measured by how quickly I respond. That's that's rich to me. And so rich to everyone is going to look different. And sometimes it may not be your path to have the monetary, you know. Success, I don't want to say monetary success, the monetary riches. Maybe your life isn't going to be that of a trillionaire, millionaire, or whatever, but you can still live a happy and fulfilling life. And so what I encourage everyone to do is to listen to yourself. And the only way to listen to yourself is to quiet the noise outside in the world. And some people say, I don't have time. If you have time to watch TV, if you have time to scroll on your phone. If you have time to I don't know what do people do these days, play video games, you have time to sit somewhere for ten minutes and just listen to yourself and think, what do I want in this world? What do I want to say that I accomplished when I'm on my bed deathbed? What do I want to leave as a legacy to my kids or to my family. And that is what I think. Because for me, I want to leave the legacy that I empowered women to love themselves, to not bend over backwards for men, and to understand that real love does exist when you find it within yourself. And I'm not saying that you will not get a relationship. Absolutely not. I think that love exists for everyone. And you know what's beautiful is so many men are starting to see this too, that they're starting to understand that they need to raise Their frequency, they need to work on themselves. They need to work on their emotional intelligence. They need to work on healing their masculine so that they can start showing up for women again. Because we were in this phase where men were in their wounded masculine and and they were just going for, and this is a blanket statement. So I'm not talking about all men, but a lot of men were going for the cheap thrills, you know, the the woman that looked good on the surface for a bit, and then they jumped to another one or The women that just feel their validation. And then once they ask, the woman asks for emotional support, they don't want to give that to them because that requires effort. So men are starting to rise. I see this collectively. And it's a beautiful thing. I think eventually we will have more healed humans walking this earth because more people are doing the work. More people are facing their shadows. It's not easy. It's not pretty. It does get dark and it does get lonely, but it's worth it. And rarely are things that are worth it ever easy. And if it were easy, then everyone would do it. This is for everything in life. And so we s oftentimes don't really understand that statement and we look for shortcuts and things, but sometimes life does not provide you shortcuts. And in a spiritual awakening and self-development and self-growth, there are no shortcuts. You have to do the work, you can find support, but it doesn't take away the fact that sometimes it's painful, sometimes you have to. truly process some of the traumas that you may have buried in this on the surface or buried what am I trying to say that you buried deep down and they you need to bring them to the surface. And so that is why I've created a community of women. If you go on my Instagram Denise B. Miller, I have a women's circle where I assist women with coming back to themselves, coming home to themselves, understanding what their life's purpose is. So that they can call in love. Because until you step into your divine purpose, you're not going to call in that fulfilling love. And what saddens me is that some people will not experience the love that they desire because they refuse to look at themselves. And I don't want that to be the people listening here. I don't want you to waste your lifetime away refusing to look at your own shadows and refusing to honor and love yourself. Because you may think, like I did that I loved myself because you know I would work out and I would take selfies and I would like, you know, I thought, ⁓ no, I I like look at I I'm like killing it. Like I'm doing so good. But deep down I was just looking for people to tell me that I was doing a good job. I didn't believe it myself. And now I can wholeheartedly say I am doing a good job. I am a way better mother than I have ever been, ever been. I was always, especially post divorce, so focused on trying to find a man that I did not give my children enough time. That I was not fully present even when I was with them. And now I'm doing much better. And I also am giving myself time to rest. I am giving myself time to spend time with myself. I am not interested in finding a romantic partner right now. I think that, of course, if the opportunity presents itself and I find somebody who or I cross paths with somebody who I am interested in, I will give them the time of day. So I'm not completely shut out. I'm just not in a space where I'm looking for that because right now, to me, fueling and helping other women is my main objective. That's it. There is nothing else that I can say is my top priority. It's my children and then it's my well, I would say my life purpose and my children in tandem because I don't think that I can be a good mother without really stepping into my life purpose either. So it's all those things intertwined. And I want this for the the collective that is listening. I want you to really listen to yourself, see what am I not facing? What is stopping me from living the life that I really want? What people do I need to let go of? What beliefs do I need to let go of? What support do I need to get there? And if you want to jot it down, jot it down. If you want to say it in your voice notes on your phone, say it in your voice notes on your phone. But put it out in the universe some way, somehow. And watch your life start to slowly change. It's not gonna be a quick thing. It's not this overnight success thing either. Or I I really struggle with that. I am super impatient. I want to see overnight success. I want to be one of those people that's like, you know what? I woke up and I had a hundred thousand people asking to work with me. And I but that's not life. I want the right people to find me at the end of the day. Of course, it's a little tempting to just wanna like skyrocket because who doesn't? External validation. As humans, we crave external validation. But I also know that confidently that I have the ability to serve the right people. Quality does not matter as much as quantity. That's with all areas of life. So this week I again encourage you to get to know yourself more. Do something by yourself. Spend some time by yourself. I understand we all have different circumstances. I understand we all have different responsibilities, but in this day and age, I also believe that everyone has 10 minutes to give themselves. Give yourself 10 minutes, you will be so thankful. And if you are a woman who is struggling with addiction to male validation, addiction to finding love, feeling like you're falling short, please go to my Instagram, Denise B. Miller, and there's a link in my bio where I share about my women's circle. Also feel free to DM me or email me. I am super excited to continue to work with women and grow the community. Thank you so much for listening and I hope you have a beautiful week. I will see you all next week.