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Brotherhood: The Missing Nutrient (with Luke Adler) · Evolutionary Men

0:00
I am back with my teaching partner and dear friend, Jason Lang.
0:05
Heart of Shadow, our flagship course to really welcome men into the heart, the fold, a place of belonging, a place of empowerment and healing.
0:17
And we just wrapped our fifth cohort of Heart of Shadow, and the momentum is as strong as ever.
0:24
What's becoming clear to Jason and I, we're always asking, what is the mechanism?
0:30
What is the thing that actually makes the work work?
0:35
Why does every cohort and every experience I've had, Jason's had, yield profound breakthrough, yield healing, result in closeness, result in integration,
0:47
and increased capacity to hold chaos, to hold pain, to hold love?
0:55
And Jason and I came up with kind of a fancy masculine term to describe what happens when men get together.
1:02
We call it the masculine vortex.
1:05
And I've heard different men's programs call it certain things.
1:10
But, you know, as we drill down to it and get into the experience more and more, and the experience itself wears a groove inside of us, Jason and I, and all the men we work with,
1:23
it really comes down to one thing that makes the work work, and that's love.
1:29
And, of course, as we say it, there's the hesitancy to go, oh, is this kind of woo-woo, you know, hippie?
1:37
And there's nothing wrong with being a hippie or woo-woo.
1:39
I'm from Eugene, Oregon, so, you know, that's where all the hippies moved after the 1960s for San Francisco.
1:44
So I'm all for the hippie movement.
1:47
But the love we're talking about, it has certain characteristics.
1:51
And it arises when you put the right circumstance around it, when you put the right conditions around relating.
2:02
And then some incredible things start to happen.
2:07
And so as we learn more and more about this through experiencing it directly and studying it, we have more to say about it.
2:16
Yeah, I think what we've been discovering, both in our own journeys and in the journey of leading men through this program,
2:26
is what an ache it often is for guys.
2:29
You know, maybe love feels a little too woo-woo for you, but something about acceptance and approval as well is another way to think about it.
2:40
I think it was really sitting with me this last week in that all of us as men, as humans, right?
2:49
The mechanism we go through is we're born into some family system, and then we adapt to the family system to survive.
2:59
And that adaptive child, you know, we might call it our inner child, our wounded child,
3:04
is often who shows up to try to handle life when we're not sure what to do.
3:13
And
3:14
almost inevitably, that adaptation, which I've talked about on my show before, you know,
3:23
oftentimes it's what protects us when we're young.
3:25
It becomes the very barrier to what we want as adults.
3:30
And the key thing here is,
3:33
though people might think otherwise,
3:38
the way to grow that part of all of us up
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is through love
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and acceptance.
3:46
It's not through shame.
3:48
It's not through discipline.
3:49
It's not through getting rid of that part of ourself.
3:52
What we've seen,
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and certainly what I've experienced,
3:56
is when that part is met with love and acceptance,
4:00
it knows what to do
4:02
to grow itself up,
4:04
to reintegrate back into the nervous system.
4:06
This is, you know,
4:08
something you and I have talked about
4:10
in this program.
4:11
In a sense, you know,
4:13
the type of shadow work we do is
4:15
it's a type of anti-coaching.
4:18
because we're not actually telling you what to do.
4:21
We're creating a context within your system
4:24
where you have an insight,
4:27
a realization,
4:27
love touches you in some capacity,
4:31
and then the system just knows often how to reorganize.
4:35
I know it sounds totally woo-woo,
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but it's just,
4:38
we see it in guys
4:39
as they're receiving this type of love and acceptance.
4:43
It's like their whole nervous system starts to rewire.
4:48
and settle in a way.
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And why this is key
4:51
and what makes it not just woo-woo
4:53
is I can tell you,
4:54
if you want to be a powerful,
4:56
effective man in the world,
4:58
you have to be able to show up
5:01
in the ways you want
5:02
in the moments that matter most.
5:04
And most men
5:06
have not fully integrated their wounding,
5:09
and so they get a little triggered,
5:11
they feel a little under-resourced,
5:13
and suddenly that inner child is running the show.
5:16
Whether it's in their job,
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their company,
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with their spouse,
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their intimate partner,
5:22
their kids,
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you name it.
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I mean,
5:25
I've been doing this stuff a while,
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and yeah,
5:26
mine still shows up a couple times a month,
5:28
I'd say.
5:29
I have a very different relationship,
5:31
and I'm able to bounce back from that
5:33
in a pretty profoundly different speed,
5:37
but it's still really important.
5:39
And it's that longing,
5:41
just that longing
5:43
for masculine presence and love
5:45
that is so key
5:47
and so core
5:48
to the transformations
5:49
we're seeing in men.
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we get so used to
5:53
as men
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not receiving love,
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particularly from the masculine,
5:58
and I might tell my story here,
6:02
I've told it many times,
6:03
and so what ends up happening
6:05
is we put tremendous pressure
6:06
on the feminine
6:07
for love,
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and it sets up this
6:10
discordant amount of pressure
6:12
between masculine and feminine,
6:13
and we could actually see that dynamic
6:16
as the source of a lot of problems
6:18
between masculine and feminine.
6:20
There's so much pressure
6:22
to fulfill each other.
6:24
In reality,
6:25
there's this major nutrient
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that's missing,
6:28
and that nutrient
6:30
is the love
6:31
that comes from masculine,
6:32
something we've been touching on
6:35
this last six months.
6:36
The masculine love
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does a couple things.
6:39
First thing it does
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is you feel safe.
6:41
You feel safe
6:44
to be in a space
6:47
of no demand.
6:49
You don't have to perform.
6:52
You don't have to show up.
6:53
You don't have to push your body.
6:55
When you're in the presence
6:57
of masculine love,
6:58
you can let go.
6:59
The beauty of letting go
7:03
is as you let go,
7:04
you feel yourself
7:05
be lifted up.
7:06
Your body lifts up.
7:08
Your spine elongates.
7:10
It becomes more erect,
7:11
and it enables you to pick your head up,
7:13
and it enables you to pick your head up,
7:13
to look forward,
7:15
to look at the horizon line,
7:17
and gain perspective.
7:19
But to have the strength to do that,
7:22
we first have to feel safe
7:23
to move out of fight or flight
7:25
where our vision narrows,
7:27
tunnels down,
7:28
and our head dips,
7:30
and we get really myopic
7:32
about what we have to do to survive.
7:35
When the presence of masculine love
7:37
enters our nervous system,
7:38
the first thing we do
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if we're exhausted
7:40
is we collapse
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because we're tired.
7:42
But then we re-coalesce,
7:45
and we rise,
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and we lift,
7:47
and we look around,
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we see,
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ah,
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there's someone here
7:51
that I feel safe with,
7:52
someone here
7:54
that I can reveal
7:56
the pain that I'm under,
7:58
and we don't feel alone.
8:02
Our relationship
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to being alone
8:05
and lonely
8:06
begins to go away.
8:08
You and I
8:11
have been running
8:12
shadow work sessions
8:13
individually
8:14
for many, many years
8:15
before we collaborated,
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and of course,
8:17
together
8:18
in our men's group,
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Jason,
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I think we've done
8:21
14, 15 sessions,
8:23
you know,
8:24
five-day sessions
8:25
over the last eight years,
8:27
and
8:29
we've experienced
8:31
this phenomenon
8:31
so many times
8:33
that
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now it's not,
8:36
it's clear
8:37
that there,
8:38
there is,
8:38
there are principles
8:39
of,
8:40
of the animate nature
8:41
of vitality
8:43
that are operating
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when men get together
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in a,
8:48
a context
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that allows
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their longing
8:51
and love
8:52
to come to the foreground,
8:53
and so this
8:55
brings in the question,
8:56
what is that context?
8:58
What is that,
8:59
what are those
9:00
set of conditions
9:01
that you and I create
9:02
that allow that
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to happen?
9:04
Because men have been
9:06
gathering for centuries,
9:07
or just,
9:08
we'll speak in more
9:09
modern terms,
9:10
into locker rooms
9:12
or into work culture,
9:13
and love doesn't
9:15
necessarily flow
9:16
to the degree
9:16
that we're talking about.
9:18
there are levels
9:19
of camaraderie
9:20
that move
9:20
in a locker room
9:21
that enable a team
9:23
to win a championship
9:24
around throwing
9:25
or kicking a ball,
9:26
and of course,
9:28
we aggrandize that
9:29
as this incredible thing,
9:30
and it is incredible
9:31
in certain ways,
9:32
right?
9:32
But,
9:34
there,
9:35
there is a kind of,
9:36
I hesitate to say
9:38
cracking a code,
9:39
but it's,
9:40
it's more like
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we dismantle
9:41
the already established
9:42
conditions
9:43
and reestablish
9:45
new conditions
9:45
that allow
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that longing
9:50
to come forward
9:50
and that,
9:51
that love
9:52
to start to radiate
9:53
into a,
9:54
into a space,
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and,
9:57
you know,
9:58
I think one of the things
9:59
that drew me
10:00
to this work,
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and I know
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you too,
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Jason,
10:02
is that
10:03
there was,
10:04
there was something,
10:05
there was a,
10:06
one of the conditions
10:07
in the work
10:08
is that
10:08
we create
10:09
a non-shaming
10:10
environment.
10:11
Shame is,
10:12
is really not
10:13
permitted to enter
10:14
the space,
10:15
which means
10:16
we're never
10:16
talking down,
10:17
we're never
10:19
being critical,
10:19
we're never
10:21
being authoritative
10:22
in a demeaning way
10:24
to anyone
10:26
in,
10:26
in,
10:27
in the experience,
10:28
which is strange
10:30
because in the
10:31
transformational
10:32
marketplace,
10:33
really,
10:33
for a long time,
10:34
as long as I've been
10:35
in it,
10:36
and my parents
10:36
were in it
10:37
from,
10:37
from the 70s
10:39
through the 80s,
10:39
et cetera,
10:40
shame was definitely
10:41
a part of transformation,
10:43
you know,
10:43
putting someone
10:44
on the hot seat,
10:45
drilling them down,
10:46
calling them out,
10:48
taking them to task
10:50
in various ways
10:51
and various styles
10:52
in the name of
10:54
dismantling their ego
10:56
so that they could
10:57
experience who
10:58
they really are.
10:59
And you and I
11:01
never,
11:02
ever,
11:04
do that.
11:05
that.
11:05
So it's,
11:06
it's,
11:06
so then,
11:07
so then how do
11:07
the breakthroughs
11:08
happen?
11:08
And of course,
11:09
for me,
11:10
the,
11:12
the breakthroughs
11:13
and transformation
11:13
I've seen in this
11:14
work have been
11:15
the most profound
11:16
and complete
11:17
that I've ever
11:18
experienced,
11:18
part and parcel
11:20
because there was
11:21
no damage
11:22
incurred
11:23
to my sense
11:24
of identity
11:25
in the,
11:26
in the letting
11:27
go process.
11:28
I didn't have a,
11:29
the facilitators
11:30
I worked with
11:31
never said,
11:33
you know,
11:33
Luke,
11:34
wake the fuck up.
11:35
Luke,
11:36
don't be a pussy.
11:37
Luke,
11:37
you're full of shit.
11:38
Oh,
11:39
you're doing,
11:40
you're doing that
11:40
thing again,
11:41
Luke.
11:41
Never heard that
11:43
once.
11:43
And I have heard
11:44
that in different,
11:45
different things I've
11:46
studied and been a
11:47
part of.
11:47
I could,
11:48
you know,
11:48
I could name,
11:49
name some names
11:50
of organizations
11:51
where,
11:51
where I was
11:52
coached that way.
11:54
and,
11:54
so I think,
11:56
yeah,
11:57
I think we should
11:57
maybe talk about
11:58
that a little bit.
11:58
Like what,
11:59
how,
11:59
how do we set
12:00
up that context?
12:01
Because it's,
12:02
it's pretty
12:03
interesting.
12:04
Yeah,
12:06
I'm really struck.
12:07
Actually,
12:07
I'm thinking about
12:08
this latest cohort
12:09
we wrapped.
12:10
one of the gentlemen
12:11
pointed something
12:13
out that in terms
12:14
of the flow
12:15
of the program
12:16
and journey
12:17
we take men on,
12:18
he was like,
12:19
yeah,
12:19
one of the wild
12:20
things is this
12:20
has kind of been
12:21
in reverse.
12:22
Usually you meet
12:23
someone in the world
12:24
and you put your
12:25
best foot forward
12:26
and then as you
12:27
get to know them,
12:28
you start to get
12:30
to know the kind
12:31
of shadowy elements,
12:32
the stuff they
12:33
don't want you to
12:34
know or are proud
12:35
of or where
12:36
they're out of
12:36
integrity,
12:37
you know,
12:37
whatever it might
12:38
be.
12:38
And his
12:40
experience of
12:40
our program
12:41
was it was
12:41
reversed.
12:42
Like,
12:43
we started
12:44
and we just
12:44
go right for
12:45
the jugular.
12:46
Here we are,
12:47
here's what
12:47
doesn't work,
12:48
like,
12:49
here's where
12:49
we're in pain,
12:50
here's what
12:51
I'm not proud
12:51
of,
12:52
you know.
12:52
We kind of
12:54
reveal that
12:56
stuff pretty
12:57
early on.
12:58
You know,
12:58
we have very
12:59
tight agreements
13:01
and structure
13:01
around this,
13:02
so it's not,
13:03
it creates a
13:07
level of trust
13:07
to allow this
13:08
to happen in,
13:09
but we do
13:10
go pretty
13:10
fast in that
13:12
sense and
13:12
you get to,
13:13
we get to go
13:14
under the hood,
13:15
so to speak,
13:16
of each other
13:17
as men and
13:18
see, yeah,
13:18
what's running
13:19
the show for
13:19
us.
13:20
And then,
13:22
towards the end
13:23
of the program,
13:24
we kind of start
13:26
to sprinkle in
13:26
the other stuff
13:27
where, oh,
13:29
wow, yeah,
13:29
here's what I'm
13:30
celebrating,
13:31
here's what's
13:31
great about my
13:32
life,
13:32
here's what I'm
13:33
proud of,
13:33
things that
13:34
often we lead
13:36
with in a normal
13:37
context,
13:38
but we do
13:38
it in reverse
13:39
and the power
13:41
of that,
13:41
yeah,
13:43
one thing I've
13:44
definitely realized
13:45
in this program,
13:45
one of the great
13:46
powers is when
13:48
we intimately
13:49
connect with
13:49
someone else's
13:50
pain,
13:51
we bond,
13:53
right?
13:55
There's like,
13:56
it's a very
13:57
human-to-human
13:58
thing and I
14:00
think also part
14:01
of what makes
14:01
this work so
14:02
important in
14:05
this day and
14:05
age of
14:06
disconnection,
14:08
tribalism,
14:09
objectification,
14:10
us, them
14:13
thinking, you
14:13
know, which is
14:14
all over the
14:15
globe right now.
14:16
Something different
14:18
happens when you
14:20
first meet someone
14:21
at a human-to-human
14:22
level in the
14:23
rawness of their
14:23
pain.
14:24
Because all those
14:25
labels, all that
14:25
bullshit, it just
14:26
falls away.
14:27
It just falls away
14:28
and it's like,
14:29
wow, this is a
14:31
human and I
14:32
connect to their
14:32
heart.
14:33
And when we've
14:35
bonded in that
14:36
way first,
14:37
something else
14:38
becomes possible.
14:39
And that's part of
14:41
what we're talking
14:42
about here.
14:42
And then when we
14:43
bond in that way
14:44
and then, in
14:46
some sense,
14:47
shower these
14:48
parts of
14:49
ourselves that
14:50
we really
14:51
thought and
14:52
sometimes through
14:54
experience learned
14:55
from our day-to-day
14:57
systems were
14:58
unlovable,
14:58
when that gets
15:00
touched by love,
15:01
that's when the
15:03
healing really
15:04
tends to happen.
15:05
That's when the
15:06
reorganization tends
15:07
to happen.
15:07
That's when the
15:08
integration tends
15:10
to happen.
15:10
And we're able to
15:12
move through the
15:12
world with more
15:14
of ourselves online
15:15
and more capacity
15:17
to be present in
15:19
things.
15:19
And, you know,
15:21
every time we do
15:23
it, part of the
15:23
joy of this
15:24
program is we're
15:27
seeing how to
15:28
we're seeing
15:29
what the process
15:30
is.
15:30
That is not even
15:32
something you and
15:32
I created.
15:33
It's just like,
15:34
wow, there's this
15:35
thing and every
15:36
time we get,
15:37
something gets
15:38
revealed to us
15:39
of how we can
15:40
continue to
15:40
further refine it
15:41
and support it
15:42
and allow the
15:45
connections to
15:46
deepen.
15:46
love really is the
15:50
central ingredient
15:51
and it is the
15:53
thing that almost
15:54
all men coming
15:56
into our program
15:56
are profoundly
15:58
malnourished in.
15:59
Just profoundly.
16:00
Particularly from
16:03
the masculine,
16:04
right?
16:05
From the men in
16:06
their lives, from
16:07
the male caregivers
16:08
that they
16:09
experienced.
16:09
Where most often,
16:12
you know, the
16:12
default in our
16:13
culture is you
16:14
are rewarded for
16:15
what you do.
16:16
Right?
16:18
If you do a good
16:19
job, if you make
16:20
enough money, if you
16:21
get good enough
16:21
grades, if you win in
16:23
the sports, you're
16:23
rewarded.
16:24
And that has a huge
16:26
cost on our heart and
16:28
soul as men.
16:28
And the wild thing,
16:30
again, for any
16:31
skeptical men
16:32
listening here, what
16:33
we're seeing, the
16:34
kick-ass thing is
16:35
when men are loved
16:37
for who they are,
16:38
not for what they
16:40
do, but for
16:41
who they are,
16:42
they actually end
16:44
up having more
16:45
capacity to go do
16:46
more shit.
16:47
Because then their
16:49
well-being isn't
16:49
dependent on the
16:50
outcome, which
16:51
allows us men to,
16:53
in some sense,
16:54
live more boldly
16:55
because we have
16:57
this safe,
16:58
stable place of
17:00
love that we can
17:01
bring anything to
17:02
in our groups that
17:04
we help create.
17:07
Yeah, it's become
17:08
such a normal
17:09
thing in our
17:11
lives, Jason, you
17:12
and my life, that
17:13
our lives really
17:15
reflect that, that
17:16
we have this space
17:17
of love that's
17:20
alive.
17:20
And because it's
17:23
been in existence
17:24
for so long, we're
17:25
able to bring that
17:26
to our wives, our
17:27
kids, to our
17:28
workplace.
17:29
And it's just
17:32
become normal.
17:33
And of course, when
17:34
we meet a new
17:35
group of men, you
17:37
and I bring that
17:38
normalcy that at
17:40
one point was
17:41
really strange.
17:42
You know, I think
17:43
my first experience
17:44
of it was, it
17:46
was familiar in
17:47
that it was
17:48
something that I
17:49
had recognized,
17:50
but I hadn't
17:50
experienced for
17:51
decades, that
17:53
level of acceptance
17:54
and permission to
17:57
bring my pain
17:58
forward.
18:00
And so when we
18:01
meet a new
18:02
group of men
18:02
and we lay
18:04
out the kind
18:05
of contextual
18:07
elements, you
18:08
know, the first
18:08
few things we
18:09
ask men to do
18:11
is to agree to
18:12
two very
18:14
challenging things,
18:15
which is to be
18:16
transparent and
18:18
to be vulnerable.
18:19
And of course, to
18:21
enable that, we
18:22
have to put a
18:23
third condition,
18:23
which is
18:24
confidentiality.
18:25
We're not going
18:25
to air out
18:27
everyone's history
18:29
to the world.
18:30
So that, that
18:32
lays out a certain
18:33
level of safety.
18:34
And then we have
18:34
a couple other
18:35
agreements.
18:35
We're asking
18:38
men, people, I
18:40
mean, next year
18:40
we're going to be
18:41
working with women
18:41
too, offering the
18:44
first cohort of
18:45
Heart of Shadow.
18:45
We're asking
18:49
them to do
18:50
something society
18:51
has told them to
18:51
do essentially
18:53
the opposite, to,
18:55
you know, keep
18:57
your cards close
18:57
to chest, to
18:59
not reveal, to
19:00
not trust, to
19:02
not get
19:02
manipulated.
19:03
And so it, it,
19:06
it requires a
19:08
big leap, you
19:09
know, and I
19:10
can think back,
19:11
God, I remember
19:12
I was with you,
19:12
Jason, in, in
19:13
Honolulu.
19:14
Well, we met in
19:16
Honolulu and then
19:17
we went to the,
19:18
the west side of
19:19
the island of
19:20
Oahu.
19:20
And I remember
19:22
asking you,
19:22
because you had
19:23
worked with this
19:24
particular teacher
19:25
before.
19:26
so what are we
19:27
going to do,
19:28
Jason?
19:28
And, you
19:29
know, I
19:30
think you
19:30
tried to
19:31
describe it in
19:31
a certain way
19:32
because I'm
19:32
trying to
19:33
reference it to
19:34
was this like
19:35
shamanic work or
19:36
is this like the
19:36
landmark form or
19:37
is this like, you
19:38
know, breath work
19:39
or whatever.
19:41
and my experience
19:43
was that I was a
19:44
little bewildered
19:45
because I had
19:47
never been in an
19:48
environment.
19:48
Just thinking about
19:51
it, I can feel the
19:52
kind of tenderness
19:55
of my heart where
19:57
I could say and
20:01
express myself in
20:03
any way that
20:05
wanted to come
20:06
through me.
20:06
Because I was
20:09
basically asking you,
20:10
Jason, what are the
20:10
rules?
20:11
Like, how do I
20:16
do this right?
20:17
And it was
20:20
bewildering to
20:21
discover like,
20:21
well, I mean,
20:22
there's a kind of
20:23
basic, like,
20:24
obviously be
20:24
respectful of
20:25
human beings
20:26
here, but
20:26
and having a
20:29
space that was
20:30
that open
20:31
relationally,
20:31
here's an
20:34
interesting
20:34
correlation.
20:35
The closest
20:36
place I had
20:37
experienced that
20:38
level of
20:39
openness was in
20:40
deep meditation
20:41
where I
20:43
experienced
20:43
consciousness
20:44
as a phenomenon
20:47
open ever more
20:49
infinitely into
20:50
space.
20:50
And I would
20:52
describe that
20:53
space as being
20:53
free and full
20:55
of love and
20:57
full of joy and
20:59
peace.
21:01
when I first
21:02
experienced this
21:04
work, I
21:05
felt that
21:06
same space,
21:09
but in a
21:11
relational
21:11
context between
21:13
me and
21:13
human beings.
21:14
It was
21:16
familiar because
21:18
I had experienced
21:18
it energetically,
21:19
but it was
21:20
bewildering because
21:21
I had never
21:22
touched it in
21:23
an actual
21:24
eyes-wide-open
21:26
relationship.
21:29
and I
21:33
think that
21:33
that was
21:34
possible,
21:35
blew me
21:37
away, blew
21:37
my conception
21:39
of what was
21:39
possible open,
21:40
and then that
21:42
there's this
21:43
whole realm of
21:44
experience to
21:46
be had in
21:47
relationship that
21:49
is place-related
21:52
to that same
21:54
location in
21:55
consciousness
21:55
consciousness,
21:55
that nature
21:57
is free and
21:58
full of love.
21:59
And I know
22:00
that that might
22:02
sound really
22:02
strange to
22:03
folks out there,
22:04
but what we're
22:05
really talking
22:06
about when we
22:06
talk about love
22:07
is a place.
22:08
It's a
22:10
location in
22:11
awareness,
22:13
inside,
22:15
that when
22:18
you start to
22:19
feel it and
22:19
sense it,
22:20
you gain the
22:22
ability to
22:23
take yourself
22:23
back there,
22:25
to even
22:25
start to
22:26
live there,
22:27
and to
22:28
not be
22:29
relegated to
22:29
only experience
22:31
it in
22:32
meditation,
22:32
or in a
22:34
plant medicine
22:34
journey,
22:35
or in a
22:36
breathwork
22:37
journey,
22:37
or whatever
22:39
spiritual practice
22:40
you may do to
22:40
touch that
22:41
space of
22:42
freedom and
22:42
love and
22:43
acceptance,
22:43
starts to
22:45
become available
22:46
not just
22:47
inside my
22:48
being,
22:48
but between
22:50
me and
22:51
other people.
22:54
and then the
22:55
journey starts
22:55
to get
22:56
really
22:57
interesting.
22:57
Yeah,
23:01
that it's
23:02
such a great
23:03
way to
23:03
phrase it,
23:03
you know,
23:04
another way to
23:06
think about,
23:06
I think what
23:07
we see men,
23:08
where we see
23:09
them end up
23:10
is a type of
23:11
relational freedom.
23:12
So it's not
23:14
just the freedom
23:14
at the top of
23:15
the monastery,
23:16
alone on the
23:16
mat,
23:17
or alone in
23:17
the woods,
23:18
but it's,
23:18
wow,
23:19
I'm relating,
23:20
I'm in
23:21
connection to
23:21
you,
23:22
and I still
23:23
get to
23:23
feel free.
23:23
I can drop
23:25
all the
23:27
shit I think
23:28
I have to
23:29
do to be
23:30
in connection
23:30
with you,
23:31
and instead
23:32
I get to
23:32
just show up
23:33
and be in
23:34
connection with
23:35
you,
23:35
and feel
23:36
free.
23:36
And that's
23:37
a profound,
23:38
really precious
23:40
space,
23:40
I think we
23:41
have found,
23:42
that isn't
23:45
available to
23:45
most people
23:46
out in the
23:47
world,
23:47
and when they
23:48
first touch
23:48
it,
23:48
it's life
23:50
changing.
23:51
legitimately
23:52
like,
23:52
whoa,
23:52
okay,
23:53
I just
23:53
saw the
23:53
matrix
23:54
here,
23:54
and now
23:55
I have
23:55
this
23:56
place I
23:56
can
23:56
plug
23:57
in
23:57
that
23:59
fuels
23:59
the
24:00
rest
24:00
of
24:00
my
24:00
life.
24:01
There's
24:02
this
24:02
deep
24:04
place of
24:04
knowing
24:05
and
24:06
connection
24:06
and
24:06
trust
24:07
and
24:07
love.
24:08
I mean,
24:08
you know,
24:09
go deep
24:10
enough in
24:10
and a lot
24:10
of these
24:10
things start
24:11
to collapse,
24:11
freedom and
24:12
love,
24:12
like it
24:13
all just
24:13
becomes this
24:14
state of,
24:15
oh,
24:15
it's all
24:15
okay.
24:16
it's all
24:17
okay.
24:18
And that,
24:20
for so many
24:22
men that
24:22
come into
24:22
our program
24:23
shouldering so
24:24
much burden
24:25
and heaviness
24:26
of what
24:27
they think
24:28
they have
24:28
to do
24:29
or even
24:29
how they
24:30
think they
24:30
have to
24:30
be in
24:31
the world
24:32
in order
24:33
to X,
24:34
Y,
24:34
or Z,
24:34
when that
24:35
gets taken
24:36
away,
24:36
that's where
24:37
so much of
24:38
the life
24:38
force and
24:38
the energy
24:39
we're talking
24:40
about starts
24:41
to come
24:41
back.
24:42
It's like,
24:42
oh,
24:42
wow,
24:43
all of
24:44
that capacity
24:45
and
24:46
all that
24:47
resource
24:48
I was
24:48
using
24:49
to try
24:49
to figure
24:50
out all
24:50
that
24:51
just becomes
24:52
available to
24:52
me now
24:53
to feel
24:54
alive,
24:55
to feel
24:55
more deeply,
24:56
to love
24:57
more,
24:57
to move
24:59
towards what
25:00
I want
25:00
in an even
25:01
more profound
25:01
way.
25:02
And a lot
25:03
of guys
25:03
have just
25:03
never had
25:05
that and
25:06
don't
25:06
necessarily
25:07
know how
25:07
to even
25:08
receive it.
25:08
And I
25:09
think that's
25:10
part of
25:10
maybe the
25:12
gift of
25:12
the groove
25:13
our groups
25:14
create.
25:15
they do
25:16
have a
25:17
certain
25:17
amount
25:17
of
25:17
momentum
25:18
to
25:18
them,
25:19
meaning
25:19
there's
25:20
like
25:20
an
25:21
energetic
25:21
tidal wave
25:24
that comes
25:25
to help
25:25
break down
25:26
some of
25:27
those barriers
25:28
to reception
25:29
to guys.
25:29
It's like,
25:30
there's actually
25:31
nothing you
25:31
have to do
25:32
here.
25:32
You just
25:33
have to let
25:34
go and go
25:34
for the
25:35
ride.
25:35
And as
25:36
guys experience
25:37
that,
25:37
it's pretty
25:38
cool.
25:38
It's like,
25:39
wow,
25:39
wait,
25:39
I don't even
25:40
have to do
25:41
my work in
25:42
a certain
25:42
way,
25:43
right?
25:43
Like,
25:43
what are the
25:44
rules?
25:44
I want to
25:44
do it.
25:44
I want to
25:45
make sure
25:45
your mind
25:45
is as deep
25:46
and as
25:46
valuable to
25:47
the group
25:47
as everyone
25:47
is.
25:48
It's like,
25:48
no,
25:48
all that
25:49
goes out
25:49
the door.
25:49
All that
25:51
goes out
25:51
the door.
25:51
And that's
25:52
where so
25:53
much trust
25:54
is born
25:54
and so
25:55
much camaraderie
25:56
is born
25:56
amongst the
25:57
men as
25:58
well that
25:58
we've seen.
25:59
and the
26:00
the real
26:00
magic of
26:01
this phrase
26:02
I've been
26:02
using
26:02
lately that
26:04
I learned
26:04
that the
26:06
group starts
26:07
to work
26:07
towards
26:07
mutual
26:08
freedom
26:08
and the
26:10
awareness
26:11
of what
26:12
happens when
26:12
a man
26:13
realizes,
26:13
wow,
26:14
me
26:14
vulnerably
26:16
going to
26:16
these places
26:17
inside
26:18
myself
26:18
actually
26:20
starts to
26:21
free the
26:21
men around
26:22
me.
26:23
it's
26:23
really
26:24
cool
26:24
because
26:25
most
26:26
men
26:26
you know
26:28
want to
26:29
be of
26:29
some
26:29
kind
26:29
of
26:30
service
26:30
in
26:31
the
26:31
world
26:31
and
26:33
this
26:34
is a
26:34
really
26:34
unique
26:35
way
26:35
to do
26:36
it
26:36
that
26:37
reformats
26:38
things
26:38
for a
26:39
lot of
26:39
our
26:39
guys
26:40
that
26:40
whoa
26:40
I'm
26:41
not
26:41
being
26:41
too
26:42
much
26:42
or
26:42
being
26:43
selfish
26:43
by
26:44
you know
26:45
getting
26:45
some
26:45
support
26:46
right
26:46
now
26:46
and
26:47
it's
26:47
so
26:48
great
26:48
every
26:48
time
26:48
we
26:48
do
26:49
it
26:49
we're
26:49
like
26:49
hey
26:49
guys
26:49
does
26:50
it
26:50
feel
26:50
like
26:50
this
26:50
guy
26:51
is
26:51
asking
26:51
everyone's
26:51
like
26:52
no
26:52
you
26:52
know
26:53
we're
26:53
usually
26:53
loving
26:54
it
26:54
we're
26:55
loving
26:55
loving
26:56
in a
26:56
man
26:56
in
26:57
that
26:57
space
26:58
and
26:59
it
26:59
becomes
26:59
this
26:59
really
27:00
profound
27:00
synergy
27:01
I guess
27:02
is another
27:02
way to
27:02
put it
27:03
where
27:03
yeah
27:03
we're
27:04
receiving
27:05
from
27:05
the
27:05
group
27:05
but
27:06
every
27:06
time
27:06
we're
27:06
receiving
27:07
from
27:07
the
27:07
group
27:08
by
27:09
you know
27:10
stepping
27:10
into
27:10
transparency
27:11
and
27:11
vulnerability
27:12
and
27:13
allowing
27:13
love
27:14
to
27:14
flow
27:14
our
27:14
way
27:14
we're
27:15
actually
27:15
giving
27:16
to
27:16
the
27:16
group
27:16
at
27:17
the
27:17
very
27:17
same
27:18
time
27:18
every
27:19
man
27:19
one
27:20
of the
27:20
most
27:20
common
27:20
things
27:21
we
27:21
hear
27:22
when
27:22
we
27:22
do
27:23
this
27:23
process
27:23
every
27:24
man
27:25
feels
27:25
served
27:25
by
27:26
every
27:26
other
27:26
man's
27:26
work
27:27
it's
27:27
really
27:28
profound
27:28
yeah
27:30
the
27:31
the
27:31
the
27:33
nature
27:34
of
27:34
masculine
27:36
presence
27:37
is that
27:39
it wants
27:39
to give
27:40
it wants
27:40
to serve
27:41
it wants
27:41
to step
27:42
forward
27:42
and
27:43
and
27:43
help
27:44
construct
27:45
a reality
27:46
that feels
27:46
safe and
27:47
empowering
27:47
that's just
27:48
built into
27:49
kind of
27:49
masculine
27:50
essence
27:50
and so
27:52
when you
27:52
give a
27:52
man an
27:53
opportunity
27:53
to come
27:54
forward
27:54
and
27:55
give his
27:57
longing
27:57
you know
27:58
to extend
27:59
his heart
27:59
to another
28:00
man who's
28:00
hurting
28:01
we love
28:03
that opportunity
28:03
you know
28:04
it speaks
28:04
to our
28:05
heroic
28:05
nature
28:06
to want
28:06
to lift
28:07
the world
28:08
up
28:08
we all
28:09
want that
28:10
and it's
28:10
such a gift
28:10
to be given
28:11
that opportunity
28:12
to serve
28:12
someone
28:13
and I
28:15
want to
28:15
I want to
28:16
just
28:16
take a
28:17
moment
28:18
to describe
28:18
the nuance
28:19
of what
28:20
occurs
28:20
around
28:21
this
28:21
sensibility
28:22
of love
28:23
and care
28:25
and
28:26
it's this
28:27
beautiful
28:28
virtue
28:28
that starts
28:29
to arise
28:30
not in the
28:30
beginning
28:31
of the group
28:31
but it is
28:33
definitely
28:33
present by the
28:34
end of
28:34
the program
28:35
and
28:37
it's
28:38
it's not a
28:39
quality that
28:39
comes online
28:40
but initially
28:41
because it's
28:42
more refined
28:43
and it reflects
28:45
a level of
28:45
trust
28:46
and different
28:47
traditions call
28:48
it different
28:48
things
28:49
one name
28:49
for this
28:50
quality
28:50
is adoration
28:52
another name
28:54
for it
28:54
is devotion
28:55
but it
28:57
points to
28:58
this quality
28:58
of kind
28:59
of loving
29:00
gentleness
29:01
loving care
29:03
that's
29:04
attuned
29:05
there's an
29:05
attunedness
29:06
to it
29:06
and that
29:07
attunedness
29:08
occurs as
29:08
each man
29:09
steps in
29:10
and shares
29:10
as we
29:11
hold each
29:12
other's
29:12
stories
29:12
as we
29:13
become
29:13
keepers
29:14
of each
29:14
other's
29:15
truths
29:15
and
29:16
what
29:18
adoration
29:19
does
29:19
is it
29:20
it
29:20
it titrates
29:21
its focus
29:22
to deliver
29:24
the right
29:24
dosage
29:25
of care
29:27
and when
29:28
that dosage
29:29
comes in
29:30
just right
29:31
it's like
29:32
medicine
29:33
it unlocks
29:34
the pathology
29:35
and
29:36
things
29:38
you know
29:38
blood and
29:39
energy start
29:39
to flow
29:40
things
29:41
that were
29:41
once
29:42
constricted
29:42
and tight
29:43
deconstrict
29:44
relax
29:45
and you
29:46
get life
29:47
force
29:47
you get
29:47
vitality
29:48
coming back
29:48
and that
29:50
feels good
29:50
that feels
29:51
safe
29:51
and we
29:52
just want
29:52
more of
29:53
that
29:53
we're no
29:54
longer bound
29:55
to hold
29:56
our grief
29:56
in
29:56
to hold
29:57
our lust
29:58
in
29:58
to hold
29:59
our rage
30:00
in
30:00
to hold
30:01
our fear
30:02
in
30:02
in all
30:03
their derivative
30:03
forms
30:04
we
30:06
become
30:07
anti-fragile
30:08
we
30:09
become
30:10
resilient
30:11
and indomitable
30:12
as
30:13
that
30:14
devotional
30:15
space
30:16
is open
30:16
from
30:17
brother
30:18
to brother
30:19
and
30:20
ultimately
30:20
Jason
30:21
something
30:21
that we
30:22
also say
30:22
is that
30:23
you know
30:23
often
30:23
we're the
30:24
last ones
30:25
to get
30:25
updated
30:26
to how
30:26
great
30:26
we are
30:27
for various
30:28
reasons
30:29
which
30:30
are
30:30
somewhat
30:31
self
30:31
explanatory
30:32
but when
30:33
that
30:33
devotion
30:34
that
30:35
sense
30:35
of
30:36
adoration
30:36
adoring
30:37
in a
30:40
fully
30:40
awake
30:41
way
30:41
starts
30:42
to come
30:42
back
30:43
to me
30:43
like
30:44
I
30:44
start
30:45
to
30:45
appreciate
30:45
myself
30:46
with
30:46
care
30:47
then
30:48
the
30:48
entire
30:49
cycle
30:49
becomes
30:50
complete
30:51
and
30:52
that's
30:52
in
30:53
part
30:53
we
30:55
didn't
30:55
fully
30:55
anticipate
30:56
this
30:56
when
30:56
we
30:57
designed
30:57
Heart
30:57
of
30:57
Shadow
30:58
but
30:58
that
30:58
we
30:59
designed
30:59
it
30:59
to
30:59
be
30:59
decentralized
31:00
which
31:00
means
31:01
when
31:01
the
31:01
program
31:01
ends
31:02
Jason
31:03
and I
31:03
don't
31:04
own
31:04
your
31:04
group
31:04
you
31:05
own
31:05
the
31:06
group
31:06
you
31:07
and
31:07
the
31:08
other
31:08
men
31:08
in
31:08
the
31:08
group
31:09
are
31:09
owners
31:09
of
31:09
it
31:10
and
31:10
its
31:10
culture
31:10
and
31:11
the
31:12
thumbprint
31:12
that
31:12
you
31:13
created
31:13
and
31:15
that
31:16
we
31:16
you know
31:16
our job
31:17
is to
31:17
facilitate
31:17
that
31:18
we're
31:18
like
31:18
midwives
31:19
of the
31:19
soul
31:20
of the
31:20
group
31:20
and
31:21
we
31:21
midwife
31:22
we
31:22
help
31:22
birth
31:23
that
31:23
once
31:24
it's
31:24
alive
31:24
then
31:25
it
31:25
you
31:26
know
31:26
it's
31:26
like
31:26
it's
31:27
like
31:27
it's
31:27
a
31:27
bean
31:28
that
31:28
just
31:28
needs
31:28
to
31:28
be
31:28
tended
31:29
and
31:30
you
31:30
have
31:31
the
31:31
capacity
31:31
to
31:32
do
31:32
that
31:32
just
31:33
like
31:33
loving
31:33
parents
31:34
would
31:34
to
31:34
a
31:34
baby
31:35
they're
31:35
devotional
31:36
they're
31:36
adoring
31:37
they're
31:37
attuned
31:38
they're
31:38
listening
31:39
they're
31:40
attuned
31:40
to
31:40
that
31:41
pitch
31:41
of
31:41
the
31:41
cry
31:42
of
31:43
the
31:43
baby
31:44
and
31:45
you
31:46
know
31:46
in
31:47
some
31:47
ways
31:47
it
31:48
captures
31:49
the
31:49
essence
31:50
of
31:50
all
31:50
of
31:50
life
31:51
heart
31:51
of
31:51
shadow
31:51
is
31:52
like
31:52
a
31:52
birthing
31:53
back
31:53
to
31:54
what's
31:54
most
31:54
beautiful
31:55
about
31:55
you
31:56
and
31:56
you
31:57
get
31:57
you
31:57
know
31:57
nine
31:59
brothers
32:00
to
32:00
help
32:00
that
32:01
unfold
32:01
once
32:02
it's
32:02
established
32:03
yes
32:04
it
32:04
has
32:04
a
32:05
living
32:05
momentum
32:05
just
32:06
like
32:06
a
32:06
child
32:06
it's
32:07
alive
32:07
and
32:09
it
32:09
will
32:09
continue
32:09
to
32:10
thrive
32:10
as
32:10
long
32:10
as
32:10
it's
32:11
tended
32:11
with
32:12
love
32:13
devotion
32:13
care
32:14
and
32:15
it
32:15
will
32:15
just
32:16
continue
32:16
to
32:16
grow
32:16
and
32:17
grow
32:17
and
32:17
grow
32:17
it's
32:21
super
32:21
it's
32:24
just
32:25
such
32:25
an
32:25
honor
32:25
to
32:25
witness
32:26
every
32:26
time
32:26
as
32:27
well
32:27
like
32:27
always
32:27
so
32:28
grateful
32:28
to
32:29
be
32:30
part
32:30
of
32:30
it
32:30
and
32:31
you
32:33
know
32:33
it
32:33
just
32:33
strikes
32:34
me
32:34
one
32:34
way
32:34
to
32:35
kind
32:35
of
32:35
wrap
32:35
this
32:35
up
32:35
I
32:36
think
32:36
what
32:36
happens
32:37
in
32:37
this
32:37
feedback
32:38
mechanism
32:39
we see
32:39
happen
32:40
in
32:40
the
32:40
group
32:40
where
32:40
we
32:42
learn
32:42
doing
32:43
our
32:43
work
32:44
as
32:44
service
32:44
to
32:44
other
32:44
men
32:45
is
32:45
not
32:46
in
32:47
like
32:47
a
32:47
big
32:48
philosophical
32:49
way
32:50
but
32:50
in
32:50
a
32:50
very
32:51
direct
32:51
tangible
32:52
way
32:52
it
32:53
starts
32:53
to
32:53
connect
32:54
us
32:54
to
32:54
oh
32:55
there's
32:56
a
32:56
my
32:57
pain
32:57
can
32:58
have
32:58
a
32:58
purpose
32:59
me
33:00
touching
33:01
my
33:01
pain
33:01
being
33:02
with
33:02
my
33:02
pain
33:03
actually
33:04
becomes
33:04
an
33:05
act
33:05
of
33:05
service
33:06
and
33:06
it
33:06
becomes
33:07
me
33:08
being
33:08
on
33:08
purpose
33:09
in
33:09
the
33:09
world
33:09
in
33:10
a
33:10
way
33:11
to
33:11
serve
33:12
in
33:12
this
33:12
these
33:13
parts
33:13
of
33:13
myself
33:14
that
33:14
I've
33:14
held
33:14
in
33:15
shame
33:15
or
33:16
fear
33:18
before
33:19
because
33:20
I
33:20
thought
33:20
I
33:20
don't
33:22
want
33:22
to
33:22
burden
33:22
other
33:23
men
33:23
with
33:23
this
33:23
I
33:24
don't
33:24
want
33:24
to
33:24
burden
33:24
other
33:25
people
33:25
with
33:25
this
33:25
it's
33:26
like
33:26
no
33:27
actually
33:27
there's
33:28
a
33:28
purpose
33:28
to
33:28
me
33:28
feeling
33:29
that
33:29
in
33:30
revealing
33:30
that
33:30
to
33:31
other
33:31
men
33:31
because
33:31
it
33:31
helps
33:32
other
33:32
men
33:33
heal
33:33
and
33:34
it
33:34
just
33:34
creates
33:35
again
33:35
this
33:35
beautiful
33:36
brotherhood
33:37
and
33:38
yeah
33:38
this
33:38
kind
33:38
of
33:38
energetic
33:39
entity
33:41
that
33:41
wraps
33:42
the
33:42
group
33:42
that
33:43
can
33:43
then
33:43
serve
33:45
all
33:45
men
33:45
in
33:46
that
33:46
all
33:47
men
33:47
is
33:47
a
33:48
big
33:48
theme
33:48
of
33:48
our
33:48
last
33:49
retreat
33:49
you
33:50
know
33:50
get
33:50
to
33:50
tend
33:51
that
33:51
fire
33:51
and
33:52
help
33:52
keep
33:53
it
33:53
alive
33:53
by
33:54
bringing
33:54
their
33:54
full
33:54
selves
33:55
to
33:55
it
33:55
and
33:56
so
33:56
one
33:57
of
33:57
the
33:57
themes
33:58
I've
33:58
been
33:58
talking
33:58
about
33:58
a lot
33:59
lately
33:59
in
34:00
men's
34:01
groups
34:01
in
34:01
general
34:01
and
34:02
definitely
34:02
in
34:02
our
34:03
heart
34:03
of
34:04
shadow
34:04
groups
34:04
you
34:06
will
34:06
get
34:06
deep
34:07
belonging
34:07
and
34:08
deep
34:08
purpose
34:08
being
34:10
in
34:10
the
34:10
group
34:11
is
34:12
a
34:12
type
34:12
of
34:13
purpose
34:13
because
34:13
your
34:13
presence
34:14
really
34:14
does
34:15
matter
34:15
what
34:16
you're
34:16
revealing
34:16
really
34:17
does
34:17
matter
34:17
and
34:19
in
34:19
that
34:19
process
34:20
of
34:20
bringing
34:20
that
34:21
forward
34:21
we've
34:22
seen
34:22
and
34:22
certainly
34:23
what
34:23
we
34:23
experience
34:23
in
34:24
our
34:24
group
34:24
is
34:24
it's
34:25
a
34:25
profound
34:25
sense
34:26
of
34:26
belonging
34:26
that
34:27
then
34:27
relieves
34:28
us
34:29
of
34:29
the
34:29
burden
34:29
of
34:29
having
34:30
to
34:30
try
34:30
to
34:30
find
34:31
that
34:31
through
34:31
all
34:31
the
34:32
shitty
34:32
means
34:32
that
34:32
are
34:33
out
34:33
there
34:33
in
34:33
the
34:33
world
34:33
right
34:34
right
34:35
instead
34:36
it's
34:36
like
34:37
okay
34:37
here
34:37
here
34:38
with
34:38
these
34:38
guys
34:38
these
34:39
guys
34:39
know
34:39
who
34:39
I
34:40
really
34:40
am
34:40
right
34:42
warts
34:42
and all
34:43
and
34:44
when I
34:45
have
34:45
their
34:46
trust
34:46
and
34:46
love
34:46
I
34:47
don't
34:47
have
34:47
to
34:48
give
34:48
a
34:48
shit
34:48
about
34:48
what
34:49
most
34:49
other
34:49
people
34:49
who
34:49
don't
34:50
actually
34:51
know
34:51
me
34:51
think
34:52
and
34:53
that
34:53
is
34:53
a
34:53
profound
34:54
place
34:55
of
34:55
power
34:55
to
34:55
come
34:56
into
34:56
as
34:56
a
34:56
man
34:56
you know
34:57
we've
34:57
talked
34:57
about
34:57
it
34:58
before
34:59
it's
35:00
a
35:00
type
35:00
of
35:00
inoculation
35:01
that
35:02
this
35:02
kind
35:02
of
35:02
love
35:03
provides
35:04
us
35:04
and
35:05
fuels
35:08
us
35:08
with
35:08
that
35:09
liberates
35:11
us
35:11
from
35:11
having
35:11
to try
35:11
to get
35:12
it
35:12
in
35:12
other
35:12
places
35:13
and
35:13
it's
35:13
real
35:14
and
35:14
it's
35:14
hard
35:14
earned
35:15
this
35:15
isn't
35:16
easy
35:16
work
35:16
right
35:17
and so
35:18
this
35:18
is
35:19
challenging
35:19
work
35:20
for
35:20
guys
35:20
but
35:20
most
35:21
men
35:21
I
35:21
know
35:22
are
35:22
up
35:22
they
35:22
want
35:23
it
35:23
you know
35:24
part
35:24
of us
35:24
wants
35:25
it
35:25
we
35:25
want
35:25
to
35:26
know
35:26
hey
35:26
I'm
35:26
fucking
35:27
doing
35:28
something
35:28
with
35:28
this
35:28
life
35:29
I
35:29
was
35:29
given
35:29
right
35:31
and
35:32
you know
35:33
I'm
35:33
increasingly
35:33
convinced
35:34
every
35:35
soul
35:36
right
35:36
we have
35:36
some
35:37
kind
35:37
of
35:37
karma
35:37
we're
35:37
meant
35:37
to
35:38
work
35:38
through
35:38
in
35:39
this
35:39
life
35:40
and
35:41
you
35:41
either
35:41
turn
35:42
towards
35:42
it
35:42
or
35:43
you
35:43
numb
35:44
out
35:44
and
35:45
it's
35:45
pretty
35:46
easy
35:46
guys
35:46
I've
35:46
numbed
35:47
out
35:47
before
35:47
myself
35:48
the
35:50
reward
35:50
for
35:50
turning
35:51
towards
35:51
is
35:52
unfathomable
35:53
you know
35:54
it's just
35:54
extraordinary
35:55
and we
35:56
see it
35:56
change
35:56
men's
35:57
lives
35:57
and it
35:57
certainly
35:57
changed
35:58
mine
35:58
and so
36:00
if
36:00
you're
36:00
yearning
36:01
for
36:01
this
36:01
kind
36:02
of
36:02
love
36:02
definitely
36:04
consider
36:05
joining
36:05
a
36:05
cohort
36:06
they
36:07
are
36:07
a rare
36:07
and
36:07
precious
36:07
thing
36:08
you know
36:09
Luke
36:09
and I
36:09
were only
36:10
able to
36:10
lead
36:10
two of
36:11
these
36:11
a year
36:11
right
36:11
now
36:11
and
36:13
they
36:13
fill
36:13
up
36:13
fast
36:13
that's
36:14
20
36:14
men
36:14
a year
36:15
we're
36:16
talking
36:16
just
36:16
20
36:17
men
36:17
a year
36:17
right
36:17
now
36:18
get
36:18
to
36:18
experience
36:19
this
36:19
process
36:20
if
36:20
it's
36:20
something
36:21
you're
36:21
fired
36:21
up
36:21
to
36:21
do
36:22
you
36:23
can
36:23
just
36:23
head
36:24
over
36:24
to
36:24
heart
36:24
of
36:24
shadow
36:25
dot
36:25
com
36:25
and
36:26
either
36:27
get on
36:28
the mailing
36:28
list
36:28
or if
36:29
a cohort
36:29
is
36:29
open
36:30
for
36:30
registration
36:31
you'll
36:31
be able
36:31
to register
36:32
right there
36:32
and then
36:33
and make
36:34
sure you
36:34
snag a
36:35
spot
36:35
because
36:36
word is
36:37
definitely
36:37
getting out
36:38
these are
36:38
filling up
36:38
faster and
36:39
faster
36:39
and you
36:41
want to be
36:41
on top
36:42
of it
36:42
and
36:42
we love
36:45
the work
36:45
we do
36:45
and
36:46
every time
36:47
we wrap
36:47
a cohort
36:48
I think
36:48
oh my
36:49
god
36:49
how
36:50
fucking
36:50
cool
36:51
how
36:52
fucking
36:52
cool
36:52
how amazing
36:53
and courageous
36:54
and brave were these guys.
36:56
It's like awe-inspiring every time.