Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #15| How To Go From Overwhelm to Balance & Calm

Transcript

#15| How To Go From Overwhelm to Balance & Calm · Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing

0:04
Michelle: Hey, I'm Michelle Gauthier, and you're listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
0:09
Michelle: Okay, thank you for tuning in to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
0:15
Michelle: Today I have a special guest, my former client, Jennifer Heal.
0:19
Michelle: She is joining us today to tell us about basically the amazing life that she has created for herself.
0:25
Michelle: So, Jennifer, say hi, tell us where you live and what you do, and then I have some questions for you.
0:32
Jennifer: Sure, yeah, absolutely.
0:33
Jennifer: Hi, my name is Jennifer Heal.
0:36
Jennifer: I'm a social media and digital marketing consultant.
0:40
Jennifer: I help a variety of clients, big and small, and a variety of different industries, with everything from social media strategy, content creation, community management, influencer marketing and so much more.
0:55
Jennifer: That's just the tip of the iceberg, but yeah, I've been doing this now for myself, having my own business, for about five years.
1:04
Jennifer: Prior to that, I worked for companies like Whole Foods Market, Outdoor Voices, Betsy Johnson.
1:12
Jennifer: I started more in the fashion industry and then moved into more lifestyle And, yeah, that's kind of brought me to where I am today.
1:22
Michelle: Perfect, and you live in New York City.
1:24
Jennifer: I live in New York City, in Brooklyn specifically.
1:27
Jennifer: Yeah, I love it here.
1:29
Jennifer: I've been here since I was 17, actually, because I went to college at Parsons, the school of design.
1:36
Jennifer: So I've been in and around either Manhattan or Brooklyn for like gosh 15 years now, with the exception of one year in Austin.
1:46
Jennifer: It's been a really fun ride.
1:51
Michelle: Yeah, it's your place for sure.
1:51
Michelle: Well, I can't wait for everyone to see your Instagram, because your Instagram is just one of my favorites.
1:56
Michelle: She's always doing something fun.
1:58
Michelle: She loves color like I do.
1:59
Michelle: There's just always something cool on there, so if I ever see you have a new story, you're the first one I click on, so I'm excited for everybody to follow you.
2:07
Jennifer: Yeah, no that's.
2:08
Jennifer: I love social media just for the fact that it's like this digital diary of what you're doing and the things you love.
2:17
Jennifer: And you know, now, with even Tik Tok on the rise, it's even more fun to just share videos and funny little snippets of what's going on.
2:26
Jennifer: So, yeah, my Instagram, though, is definitely a fun place to catch up.
2:31
Michelle: It is.
2:32
Michelle: It's a fun place to hang out, and I feel like we were just talking about this before I started recording.
2:36
Michelle: But that's kind of how we keep up with each other now, because we used to talk every week and now we don't.
2:40
Michelle: But I still feel like I know what's happening in your life.
2:43
Michelle: So let's get into coaching in general.
2:47
Michelle: Can you tell us why you thought you might need a life coach and just kind of how you came to the idea of working with me or another life coach?
2:56
Michelle: I think you looked into other life coaches too.
2:59
Jennifer: Yeah, I was at a point in - especially my career, the career piece of my life - I felt so overwhelmed.
3:08
Jennifer: Day to day I was waking up feeling like how am I going to get all this done?
3:15
Jennifer: I would just break out into tears for no reason.
3:19
Jennifer: Just that was my like emotional release.
3:22
Jennifer: And I felt like I had nowhere else to turn.
3:26
Jennifer: I didn't know how to get a grip with everything that was spinning around in my head.
3:33
Jennifer: And that's really what I felt like - just spinning every single day.
3:37
Jennifer: And it finally came to a head when I was on a quote unquote "vacation" for a week, which was the longest period of time I'd ever taken off And by taking off, I really wasn't taking time off because I would bring my computer everywhere.
3:53
Jennifer: And anyway, on this specific time off, I was waking up at 6am to get work done before enjoying myself.
4:03
Jennifer: And even when I was quote unquote enjoying myself, I was still thinking about work.
4:07
Jennifer: I was still feeling like I needed to be checking in on my clients and their social media And I really just couldn't unplug.
4:15
Jennifer: And actually, on that vacation is when I sent a bunch of emails out to different life coaches to see how they could help.
4:24
Michelle: Okay.
4:24
Michelle: So that sounds like it was kind of the tipping point when you realized, "I just can't keep going on like this.
4:30
Michelle: " When you were feeling overwhelmed, it was too much of.
4:34
Michelle: .
4:34
Michelle: .
4:34
Michelle: what?
4:35
Michelle: Was it just like, just too much - were you too connected to your clients?
4:39
Michelle: Did you have too many things to do?
4:41
Michelle: What did it feel like?
4:44
Jennifer: It felt like I wasn't my own person.
4:48
Jennifer: It felt like my life was my work I and it's not like my work was curing cancer or anything.
4:56
Jennifer: So you know I'm not, I'm not knocking what I do, but I'm just saying that like it's now I realize it's so much less of a focus for me.
5:06
Jennifer: It's just it's not - it doesn't consume my idea of what I need to be in this life.
5:13
Jennifer: You know?
5:14
Michelle: Yes, yes, it's like a part of your life instead of your entire life and identity.
5:19
Jennifer: Correct.
5:20
Jennifer: Yeah, identity, exactly, it was my identity.
5:22
Jennifer: I felt like I was equating my work to my worth as a person And I felt like I had to get all these things done in order to exist in the world.
5:36
Jennifer: It sounds like dramatic, but that's really, now, looking back, that's how I felt, you know?
5:43
Michelle: And I really don't think that is dramatic.
5:45
Michelle: I think a lot of people feel like that.
5:47
Michelle: Especially when we grow up being overachievers or say you always did well in school and you've always had a successful career, we start to think that the way that we're enough in the world is by doing all these things.
6:00
Michelle: But then we get to a point where we realize that doesn't actually work, and then you just keep working more and more and more to try to get to that point that it feels good and it just kind of feels worse and worse and worse.
6:09
Michelle: In my experience.
6:10
Michelle: Yeah, that's so true.
6:12
Michelle: Yes, I've absolutely been there too.
6:16
Michelle: Okay, so then you started coaching, and at the beginning of coaching - because what I want to share on this podcast is not like, oh, you just have to follow these little tips I give and then, magically, your life turns around.
6:28
Michelle: I want to be really honest about what it takes to turn your life around to the point that you can be, for example, when I first started talking to you, you were so sad and crying and felt overwhelmed, and I see that what was trying to come out is your essential stuff, which is this truly joyful, happy person.
6:45
Michelle: So what do you remember at the beginning of coaching, like when do you think you started feeling a little bit better?
6:54
Jennifer: Yeah, the beginning of coaching I mean the first few sessions, like you mentioned, it was a lot of just you helping me calm down and realize the thoughts that I was having and why those thoughts were making me feel a certain way.
7:10
Jennifer: And I think the second I sort of started to see a shift was when I realized, "oh, I feel like I have to say yes to everything and that's not actually true", and recognizing why that's not true and is the world going to end if I say no to this, that or the other thing?
7:32
Jennifer: And that just wasn't the case.
7:34
Jennifer: And so for me, it was really recognizing the thoughts I was having and then understanding why they were making me feel a certain way, versus just having everything spinning around, and that spinning is what was causing the overwhelm.
7:49
Michelle: Yes, yes, that makes total sense.
7:51
Michelle: And when you're in that spinning overwhelm you can't get yourself out, because you can't think clearly.
7:57
Michelle: So what I'm hearing you say - you tell me if I'm wrong - but what I'm hearing you say is we spent time at the beginning just slowing down and just pausing and watching your thoughts.
8:07
Michelle: And I think a lot of times at the beginning clients are like, " what is the point of doing this?
8:11
Michelle: " But the point of doing that is kind of everything It's probably the biggest thing we do in coaching.
8:19
Jennifer: Also at the beginning, I felt like I wanted to just run away.
8:22
Jennifer: I wanted to.
8:23
Jennifer: I was considering even leaving the profession that I had built up, or the career that I had built up for 10 plus years, and like going back to school.
8:34
Jennifer: I was just so at a loss.
8:36
Jennifer: I felt like I don't wanna do this anymore.
8:38
Jennifer: And I think with you, you helped me.
8:41
Jennifer: Like you said, "slow down and take a minute and be like wait.
8:44
Jennifer: Is that actually true?
8:45
Jennifer: Or is that my tornado of thoughts in my head just saying get out.
8:50
Jennifer: "
8:50
Michelle: Get out, like we need to protect ourselves.
8:53
Michelle: Yes yes, like save yourself from this tornado, we'll just start over and see what happens.
8:58
Michelle: But the trouble is it, had you done that, had you just started over without changing the way that you thought about yourself and your life, you would have just recreated that same situation in a different industry, for example.
9:10
Michelle: So you really went to the root of it with the way that you slowed down and started looking at your thoughts.
9:17
Michelle: So what are some of the ways that you changed your life during coaching?
9:22
Jennifer: Oh well, habits, I feel like was a big thing for me, and just changing my schedule, a simple thing.
9:29
Jennifer: So, instead of you know, this is probably a common one for people waking up and the first thing you do is check your email.
9:37
Jennifer: Or, for me, like, check my client's social media pages and do all of the things that weren't for me at all but for everyone else, before even getting to myself.
9:48
Jennifer: I felt like I had to do all of these things in order to earn the right to be able to take care of myself, if that makes sense.
9:57
Michelle: That makes total sense.
9:59
Michelle: So you had to get up, check in on all your clients, look at all their social media accounts, everything before you could even think oh, I would like to have some coffee or breakfast or go to Pilates or whatever it was.
10:10
Jennifer: Yeah, exactly.
10:11
Jennifer: So that was a really hard thing for me to do because it was so innate to just reach for the phone to the point where I needed to put my phone in another room when I went to sleep.
10:22
Jennifer: Again, really, you might think, oh, that's so simple to do, but it was really really challenging for me.
10:28
Jennifer: So just shifting that and not having the phone in the room and just waking up and just opening my eyes and like examining the room, even just grounding myself in bed, and then coming downstairs making a cup of coffee and really just sitting and enjoying that and recognizing the smell, the sounds, all these different tactile things that I wasn't able to do because the instant I woke up, my mind was just on.
10:57
Jennifer: And I realized that I needed to take time for myself before even doing that.
11:04
Jennifer: So that was one really big thing.
11:06
Jennifer: And then, funnily enough, I would just work through lunch.
11:11
Jennifer: I wouldn't really eat lunch or I would eat but just snack throughout the day, not very healthy or not very good for your brain, even brain food.
11:25
Jennifer: And so because I felt like again I had to earn - and these were just subconscious thoughts, it was just in my head like, oh, I can't get up yet, I've got to finish this email.
11:37
Jennifer: And then it was like, once I finished that, I had to finish something else, and so just even taking a 30 minute break just to go get something to eat was a big shift for me.
11:48
Jennifer: I think those were the two biggest things.
11:51
Michelle: Yeah, and I think what you're saying is so profound, because the idea that you need to eat lunch during the day, it's like, yes, of course, everyone should eat lunch during the day.
12:00
Michelle: And for me to just say to you well, you need to eat lunch.
12:04
Michelle: Well, you could do that on your own.
12:05
Michelle: You know what I mean, that there's something beneath that, like, the action that you're not taking of eating lunch is caused by the idea, like you said, that you have to be enough, and in order to be enough, you have to get a certain amount of things done.
12:19
Michelle: And it just keeps pushing the idea of, like, taking a break or eating lunch.
12:24
Michelle: And same with your phone, because I think we all intellectually know that waking up and looking at our phones first thing is not the best thing to do for our brain, but almost everyone does it.
12:33
Michelle: And so just to say, okay, turn off your phone and put it in the other room.
12:37
Michelle: Yeah, that sounds easy, but it wasn't easy because you had the thought of my clients need me, I need to reply to them.
12:45
Michelle: I mean, do you think you had a specific rule in mind of how quickly you needed to get back to your clients if they needed anything?
12:51
Jennifer: Yeah, and there were clients that were more needy than others, and I felt like, you know, I had like a hierarchy in my head of like, okay, I've got to get back to these, you know, first, and here's why.
13:03
Jennifer: And I felt like, yeah, it was just something that I had to do within, you know, two to three hours, depending on who the client was.
13:11
Jennifer: Yeah, which, as you know, if you're busy doing other things, answering emails, because it's not just my job, is not just, oh, going online and checking messages, it's so much more than that, it's admin, it's strategy, it's content creation.
13:25
Jennifer: So those three hours go by really, really quickly.
13:28
Jennifer: And then you're, just before you know it, you're just doing one thing after the other.
13:32
Jennifer: You can't even come up for air.
13:34
Jennifer: Yes, so that to me was not a realistic time frame.
13:38
Jennifer: Now, I know that, but for me then it was like, well, you have to do it.
13:46
Michelle: Why do you think you had to do it?
13:46
Michelle: Were you thinking about what your clients might think, or was it you always had to be productive, or was it deeper than that?
13:55
Jennifer: I think it was.
13:55
Jennifer: I wanted everyone to think that I was a really hard worker.
14:00
Jennifer: I felt like I needed to prove something to everyone else and control what they thought of me.
14:07
Jennifer: And now I know I can't control what people think of me.
14:10
Jennifer: Like that's never, that's not a realistic thing, because, first of all, they could think something of me and has nothing to do with my performance, it's just their own thought.
14:21
Jennifer: I can't control it.
14:23
Michelle: Yeah, you know, you just made my heart like swell so big when you said I can't control what other people think of me.
14:29
Michelle: You're so right.
14:30
Michelle: There's no use in worrying about it.
14:32
Michelle: We never know what they really think.
14:34
Michelle: It could be something really good.
14:35
Michelle: It could be something bad.
14:36
Michelle: Either way, you can't control it.
14:38
Michelle: Which change do you feel like was the hardest?
14:42
Jennifer: I think something that's the hardest and something that I still work on and find the thought coming back into my head is just the feeling of being enough.
14:52
Jennifer: And you know, it's a very broad feeling and it comes and that's why I think it comes back in a lot of ways in my life.
15:01
Jennifer: But now I can like recognize the thought of feeling like, oh, like I need to prove to my partner this in order for them to feel this way about me.
15:09
Jennifer: It's like no, that's not true.
15:11
Jennifer: I can feel the thought creeping in and then I really have to be like oh well, here are the reasons why it's not true.
15:17
Jennifer: I think those reasons in my head and then immediately my feeling shifts because of that.
15:22
Jennifer: Yeah, so I think you know that one is the biggest one.
15:26
Jennifer: That's just like I said, it's more broad stroke thought, but it's the one that I find creeps back in every now and then And I have to be like nope, that's not true.
15:37
Michelle: Yeah, and if you think about throughout the course of your life how many times that you had thoughts that this is what I have to do to be enough, the fact that you've reduced it that much in just you know, a year or so is like such a big improvement.
15:53
Michelle: And I still have thoughts like that.
15:56
Michelle: Mine are all about I have to present as perfect, and if people know the real me, they won't like me.
16:02
Michelle: So when I find myself feeling like I need to look successful, I can catch it really quickly And I almost chuckle to myself like, oh my gosh, you're back again.
16:10
Michelle: Yeah.
16:11
Jennifer: That's how I feel, yeah.
16:13
Michelle: Yeah, exactly.
16:14
Michelle: So you're just going to keep showing up?
16:16
Michelle: Okay, all right then, but the power is knowing what to do with it, and some of the thoughts, they just go away, like you just don't have them anymore.
16:26
Michelle: For me, but, like now saying no to something I don't want to do -
16:34
Jennifer: - I'm like, oh, I don't.
16:36
Jennifer: I can't tell you, since we stopped working together, how many times I've had potential clients come to me and I've just been like, oh, I don't think this is a fit, but whereas before I would have been like, no, I have to take everything that comes my way, you know, because I have to.
16:54
Michelle: I just have to because I need to try to make you happy and think that I'm doing a good job or whatever it was.
17:01
Michelle: But that's so great because you've proven and we'll talk about this in the next section when I ask you how your life is now.
17:07
Michelle: But your business has done so much better.
17:09
Michelle: Even just your business was already awesome, but you're doing so much better working with clients who are a great fit for you.
17:16
Michelle: Instead of taking people who you don't want.
17:18
Michelle: So that's amazing, yeah, okay, last question.
17:21
Michelle: Actually, no, that's not true.
17:22
Michelle: I have two more questions about during coaching.
17:24
Michelle: One is did anyone notice a difference in you?
17:28
Jennifer: Yes, especially my partner specifically.
17:31
Jennifer: He immediately noticed a change because we saw each other the most, you know, almost every day.
17:39
Jennifer: And for him, you know, I would come home, without realizing it, super hangry because I hadn't eaten lunch and I was just stressed, you know, on my computer or doing creating content or whatever it was for work, and just I would come home and be like snappy at him for no reason.
17:59
Jennifer: And then I realized it wasn't him, it was my not being kind to myself throughout the day and treating myself in a way that was gonna make me a better person for everybody around me.
18:14
Jennifer: So I would say he definitely noticed the shift when that changed and when I was a little bit just slower, moving a little slower.
18:26
Jennifer: That doesn't mean I wasn't getting things done, it was just like I was not in as much of a frantic zone or energy.
18:35
Jennifer: Yeah, that's awesome.
18:36
Jennifer: He was definitely the one that noticed it the most.
18:39
Jennifer: And then you know my friends too, having more time during the day because, again, I make my own schedule.
18:46
Jennifer: So if I said yes to a friend because I always had to say yes who asked me to lunch or whatever, I would just be on my phone the whole time.
18:55
Jennifer: I'd be working the whole time And that shifted once I was like, okay, I'm gonna leave some white space for myself to have that time with friends that is, without work or without the phone, or go to an exercise class and not be consumed by what is happening online while I'm doing this exercise.
19:18
Jennifer: You know what I'm saying?
19:19
Michelle: Like, just be present, exactly.
19:23
Jennifer: So, I think those were like two groups of people that really saw the change in me as it was happening.
19:29
Michelle: Yeah, yeah, that's so great.
19:30
Michelle: And was there anyone who didn't like your changes?
19:33
Michelle: Was there anybody who was like, wait, what happened to the girl who always said yes?
19:38
Jennifer: I think, yeah, I mean, I feel like probably the clients that I had for a long time maybe saw some of those changes, And you know, and also I was just sticking up for myself a little bit more in terms of my schedule and my boundaries when it came to work, And I think that that also, yeah, my clients noticed it as well.
20:04
Jennifer: I mean, some of them were like didn't notice it, which made me feel like, oh, I could have been doing this all along.
20:10
Jennifer: Some of them were like wait, like you said, what's going on?
20:13
Jennifer: You're not saying yes to everything.
20:15
Jennifer: So I think that that just made me realize like the type of client that maybe I'm wanting to attract more of.
20:23
Michelle: Yeah, I think that's great.
20:25
Michelle: And the reason why I asked that question is because it is important to know that when we change, you know, like you, for example, you feel uncomfortable when you first change, when you first start saying no, that definitely gets better.
20:36
Michelle: Sometimes the people who we hang around don't like when we change.
20:39
Michelle: If they're not used to you sticking up for yourself or something.
20:41
Michelle: They're like wait a minute, it was a lot easier for me when you used to do that old thing.
20:45
Michelle: And that's okay, like that can sometimes be part of the process and that's okay.
20:50
Michelle: And in your example, you just said well, that helped me see that some of the clients who weren't the best fit were the ones who had issues with that, with you having boundaries.
20:59
Michelle: So in the end, I want to talk about how your life feels now, since we started off with you being on vacation and working all the time on vacation and being pretty miserable and realizing you needed a life coach.
21:12
Michelle: Let's just talk about vacations.
21:13
Michelle: I feel like I've been looking at your Instagram and I've seen you go on like six vacations in the last couple months, so tell us about that part first.
21:22
Jennifer: Well, you know, for me, I create my own schedule, and so I am like why shouldn't I go on this trip?
21:32
Jennifer: Why shouldn't I, if I have the flexibility to do so and I'm able to meet all the deadlines that I need to, why am I worried about what someone's thinking of me, of how many vacations I'm taking?
21:46
Jennifer: It's like, then to the day, we're all just living in this earth and just trying to have a good time, why am I worried about what other people are thinking of me?
21:57
Jennifer: And fact of the matter is, probably most people aren't even batting an eye, right?
22:06
Michelle: Or, if you were my social media person - I wish you were - if you were my social media person, I'd be like I love that.
22:09
Michelle: She actually lives her life.
22:11
Michelle: She's gonna be so good at this because she knows what's going on.
22:14
Michelle: She goes to cool places.
22:15
Michelle: You know, you're living.
22:19
Jennifer: Exactly, yeah, and of course you know, social media is obviously the highlight reel.
22:23
Jennifer: So there's so many other things that go into my work and my business besides what I share there.
22:30
Jennifer: But yeah, of course I'm gonna share the fun moments, which is vacation, and you know, and my partner loves to travel too and he has the flexibility with his job.
22:38
Jennifer: So in the beginning, you know, I would take these trips but I would always bring my computer.
22:44
Jennifer: I would be working pretty much the whole time, like I remember you and I had a session once when I was in Barbados and I was hysterically crying and in the room the whole time.
22:56
Jennifer: So yes, I was on vacation but I wasn't really enjoying it until I finally put the tools and the tricks and the tips that I learned from our time together into place.
23:08
Jennifer: And now you know I don't even bring my computer, like I was away a week and a half ago for almost seven days and I didn't bring my computer, which would have been a huge like what the heck for me, maybe a year ago or a year and a half ago.
23:26
Michelle: I remember when you took that last minute trip to London in Paris, was it?
23:30
Michelle: Yeah, and you texted me from the plane and said look, I'm sitting here and I don't have my computer.
23:35
Michelle: I left it at home.
23:36
Michelle: I was like it made my whole weekend.
23:39
Jennifer: Yes, and now when I do that, I'm like, oh okay, it's not like a big deal, but that was only just a few months ago, right, I think, when we were stopping working together.
23:52
Jennifer: Yeah, working together, So it was.
23:55
Jennifer: And now I just consistently put those tools into place whenever I go into on a vacation or a trip.
24:02
Michelle: Yeah, we did a lot of coaching around how to have a good relaxing vacation and you nailed it.
24:07
Michelle: Good job, yeah.
24:09
Jennifer: And even like coming back from vacation.
24:11
Jennifer: Now I really like to give myself two days to feel like I don't need to come back and immediately get right back into it, like I can come back, I can do laundry, I can get the apartment organized, I can go grocery shopping, just do all these things that allow you to feel level set to go into your work, feeling like, okay, I have nothing else but my work that I'm focusing on now, and that's something that you and I came up with that has been so helpful for me.
24:40
Michelle: Yeah, yeah, I would imagine the quality of your work is so much better than it would have been.
24:45
Michelle: If you're like, just got home at midnight, don't have any food, trying to like pull it all together.
24:51
Michelle: That's awesome, exactly, okay.
24:52
Michelle: What else?
24:55
Michelle: What are some other results you have in your life right now that you didn't have before coaching?
24:58
Jennifer: I think, just a general sense of calm, like I don't even set an alarm to wake up.
25:04
Jennifer: And the one thing I really hate is waking up to an alarm.
25:08
Jennifer: I feel like it sets the day up for like a lot of anxiety and just you know, and my body just naturally wakes up at 8am, which is like perfect for me.
25:20
Jennifer: And you know, I start my day.
25:22
Jennifer: I don't immediately look at my phone.
25:25
Jennifer: And you know, some days I work later than others if it's a really busy day or from gearing up to be away or something like that.
25:32
Jennifer: But for the most part, you know, I feel like my schedule has really allowed me to have more time for myself, which I never would have dreamed of having, even a year ago.
25:46
Michelle: Yes, yes, and even if you had the time, you might have filled it up with something or felt guilty about.
25:53
Jennifer: Yeah, right, exactly, and I realized too, like, especially with my job in social media, so much of my time, like little moments over the weekend or at night, like it's spent doing work, and I need to recognize that and say to myself it's okay that I'm waking up at this time and I'm not setting alarm for 6am like a lot of other people, because so much of my job is just those little pockets that fill up with checking things.
26:22
Jennifer: And you know, and that's why, like, having that boundary of like I'm not going to set an alarm has been really healthy for me, because it doesn't make me feel like I'm doing something more than I should be for my friends.
26:37
Jennifer: Yeah.
26:38
Michelle: It's like knowing yourself and your preferences and your business and how your business works, and not judging those against what anyone else is doing or someone in a different industry is doing, that you just prefer to get up at 8 and not have an alarm.
26:53
Michelle: That sounds so peaceful.
26:54
Jennifer: Yes, yeah, it's like a really great, great way to wake up.
26:58
Jennifer: So I feel like that has been a really great thing and just again like taking on things that I actually want to take on, not feeling like I need to do everything and do it all at once, but being really mindful about the clients that I work with and the things that I do even outside of work, the commitments that I make with friends or family or anything.
27:28
Jennifer: So that has also been a really big shift for me.
27:32
Michelle: Yeah, that's awesome.
27:33
Michelle: It just feels like you're spending your time in a way that you've chosen, instead of life just happening to you, and you reacting.
27:40
Michelle: That's wonderful.
27:41
Michelle: I also love all the creative things that you do just for fun, like when you'll post that you went to the farmers market and you made some beautiful floral arrangement.
27:51
Michelle: Or like your Halloween costumes that you made from scratch.
27:55
Michelle: Yeah, I love that you take the time to do that stuff, because I feel like creativity is just part of your soul.
28:01
Michelle: And, even though that feels like a pastime, I just think it's so important that we honor that, whatever it is within ourselves.
28:08
Michelle: You know, if it's not creativity, for someone maybe it's music or whatever it is.
28:12
Jennifer: Yeah, yeah, that also.
28:15
Jennifer: I felt like, oh, I can't do this during "work hours".
28:20
Jennifer: And then I remember one of our sessions.
28:23
Jennifer: You were like will you make your own schedule?
28:26
Jennifer: So if you want to do something from two to four on a Tuesday, who says you can't do it?
28:32
Jennifer: You know, if you're again meeting the commitments you need to meet or your deadlines, then what's wrong with making your Halloween costume Because, as you mentioned, i love to do that every year, you know and doing that, something that feeds your creative soul.
28:47
Jennifer: And then getting back to whatever it is that you need to do.
28:50
Jennifer: So that was something I felt like I should be ashamed of or I shouldn't feel good about doing during this particular time block, when that's just something that was created in my own head.
29:06
Michelle: Yeah, yes, and how's your business doing?
29:09
Michelle: It's really good.
29:11
Jennifer: Yeah, it's really good.
29:12
Jennifer: And it's in a place now where, again, I feel like I'm doing things that I want to do and I'm working with people that I want to work with.
29:23
Jennifer: And you know, I've pitched people that I want to work with, whereas before it was like people were just coming to me, which is great, and I'm so grateful for those recommendations.
29:36
Jennifer: But now I feel like, you know, I'm actually going after the people that I want to work with, which I never would have thought to do maybe a year and a half ago, because I would have thought like, oh, I just don't have the time, or like, oh, you know, why would they say yes to me or whatnot.
29:54
Jennifer: And you know, I'm actually working with a potential client now who would be really, really great.
30:01
Jennifer: I don't want to say any names, but that would be like my first one since we stopped working together that I actually went after.
30:11
Michelle: I am certain you will get that client.
30:13
Michelle: You have amazing attraction powers.
30:15
Michelle: I mean, we talked a few times about one big name client you wanted to get, and next time you're like, yeah, I got them.
30:20
Michelle: Yeah, but I think that when you're in alignment with who you really are and you're working at your full capacity as far as like your own creativity and living your whole life, it just attracts people to you as well.
30:35
Michelle: So that's fantastic.
30:38
Jennifer: And the other thing, too, with work is that you helped me ask for more money.
30:43
Jennifer: Basically I was so scared to say, oh, I've raised my prices or oh, this offering is now going to cost this much money, and I really feel like now I'm confident in saying this is what my services cost, and feeling confident in that I'm actually providing that worth, whereas I didn't feel like I was worth it before.
31:10
Jennifer: And even no matter how many times people told me and so I felt like bad about charging X amount, yeah, and now I'm doing that and I'm not batting in eye because I know my worth.
31:23
Jennifer: I know that what they're getting from me is years of experience and so much more than that, and the actual execution as well.
31:31
Michelle: So yeah, yeah, exactly.
31:33
Michelle: That's so wonderful.
31:34
Michelle: I'm so happy to hear you say that, because, of course, until you believe it about yourself, it doesn't matter.
31:39
Michelle: Exactly.
31:40
Michelle: You know what anybody else thinks.
31:42
Michelle: You're not going to change it, so that's so great.
31:44
Michelle: Ok, good, so tell us where we can find you, where people can follow you, what if they're interested in hiring you?
31:51
Michelle: Tell me all the things.
31:53
Jennifer: Yes, so the best place to find me is, as we talked about, on Instagram.
31:59
Jennifer: It's just my name: @ Jennifer Heal.
32:02
Jennifer: And my website is in the link in my bio there, and you can reach out to me directly through my website.
32:11
Jennifer: Or you can email me, which is on my website as well.
32:18
Jennifer: So, yeah, or send me a message on Instagram.
32:22
Jennifer: I'm really active there and I'll get back to you right away And we're just let's be friends on Instagram.
32:28
Michelle: We can follow, yeah yeah, that's right, you can follow along with her fun account And it's Jennifer Heal H-E-A-L, not heels like the shoes, the other kind.
32:35
Jennifer: Healing, healing, sobriety.
32:37
Jennifer: Yeah, that's right.
32:38
Michelle: She will heal your social media and your whole presence online.
32:42
Michelle: I love it.
32:43
Michelle: I love it.
32:44
Michelle: Ok, any last minute suggestions you would give somebody, because probably the people who are listening to this are feeling more like you felt at the beginning, before you had done coaching.
32:54
Michelle: So, any suggestions you would give somebody who's feeling really overwhelmed.
33:05
Jennifer: I think the biggest suggestion I have it just take a beat.
33:05
Jennifer: And even in your day to day you're feeling like, oh my gosh, how am I going to get all this done?
33:12
Jennifer: Or you're spinning.
33:13
Jennifer: Go for a walk for a half hour.
33:15
Jennifer: Just get out the door, go for a walk, go for a bike ride, whatever.
33:20
Jennifer: Do a meditation, whatever it is that brings you some calm, and get back to it, because the work's always going to be there.
33:29
Jennifer: The to-do list is always going to be there.
33:32
Jennifer: But if you can learn to just slow down, even a little bit more than you had been before it doesn't even have to actually be slow, it's just slower for you then you'll be able to really think through what thoughts are coming into your head and think, ok, is that actually real?
33:50
Jennifer: Is that a real thought that I'm feeling right now, or is it just something that's being spun in my head because of the way I'm feeling overwhelmed?
34:01
Jennifer: So I would say take a beat, go for a walk, go for a run, whatever it is that you need to do to slow down.
34:08
Jennifer: That's the biggest thing that helped me in the beginning, and then taking the steps from there, i would say, is the best route.
34:17
Michelle: Yep, that's such great advice, because if you can't slow down enough to just get clear on, I need help, or I need to change this, because you're just in that.
34:25
Michelle: I love how you said tornado of thoughts, because that's exactly what it feels like to me when I feel overwhelmed just you're spinning.
34:31
Michelle: So that's a great, great suggestion.
34:32
Michelle: Well, thank you so much! And I'm so glad you were here.
34:35
Michelle: And I just love you.
34:36
Michelle: And I think you're the best.
34:37
Jennifer: I love you too, so it was a great spending time with you.
34:41
Michelle: It's kind of funny when you were saying you lived in New York and I thought this is so weird.
34:44
Michelle: We've never met in person.
34:45
Michelle: I feel like I know you so well.
34:46
Jennifer: One of these days, I know.
34:48
Jennifer: One of these days, if you're visiting or vice versa.
34:52
Michelle: Yes, I'm sure you'll be in St Louis just in a few days.
34:55
Michelle: Oh my gosh.
34:57
Michelle: Ok, thank you so much.
34:59
Michelle: Thank you, thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
35:08
Michelle: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier.
35:12
Michelle: com.
35:13
Michelle: See you next week.