Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 205. Re-Parenting Ourselves: What Inner Child Healing Really Looks Like

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205. Re-Parenting Ourselves: What Inner Child Healing Really Looks Like · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashi
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: authentic version of yourself.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: else is too afraid to talk about.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Get ready for your next level of self.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome back to another episode She Rises with
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Ashi and Tiana.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Who Hell, Welcome back.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode of your favorite hosts. And
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: today's episode is all about behaviors that we have learned
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: over the years through parents, through ways of being, through
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: things that we've witnessed as a young child, and ways
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: that we're going to and are still now learning how
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: to reparent ourselves through those behaviors that we've learned. So
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: things that are super unproductive, things that you know aren't
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: good for us, aren't good for our health, aren't good
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: for our mental health, and all of the things. But
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: before we get into it, as she wants her share
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: of the week, My Share of the Week is a
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: brand new hideaway perfume. We have over sixty perfumes on
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: our website now. So I smell a lot of perfumes,
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: and I don't love all of them.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Even in the staff.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: We'll like smell them in testamon, get new ones made,
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: and everyone's got different opinions. It's very personalized. So if
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: I share a perfume no that I really really.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Love it, that's your thing.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: This one is called Fairy Tears and it is inspired
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: by Floral Street Wonderland PIONI. But every time I spray
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: I sprayed in front of you, I spray it in
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: front of India the other day. We all think it
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: smells like an old celebrity perfume. I don't know if
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: it's pretty spears or like a hi very duff.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: One something like that. I can't even describe it.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it smells like, but it is
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: a nostalogic smell, like something that you have smelt before
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: that has come from your childhood, like around the teens years.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm in a Vanilla Delight Girl for so long,
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: which is inspired by the Kali Vanilla twenty eight. That's
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: been my go to perfume, and I love like a
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: handful of pedal Dreams, which is every for her dream
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: is really good.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: This one now is in my top three. Ohow so
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: bag now, I love it. That's my share of the week.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: It's just on Hideaway.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: My share of the week is actually something a little random.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: So it's something that I get when I go to
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: the nail shop to get my nails done. So I
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: don't use a crylic, but I do get something called
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: build a gel. Basically, it's like your real nail, but
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: then they put this stuff on that like helps strengthen
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: your nail. And I was really struggling with my nails
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: snapping a little while ago. I started to get the
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: build of gel, and now my nails are really strong,
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: never snap, and they kind of almost look like a crylic,
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: but it's not.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: They do crilic.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I actually look like a crilic. They look like a
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: cryllic right now because they're really grown out.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: They done a really good job.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it just looks really nice, and it's like
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: that step down from getting a crylic. I obviously don't
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: know if it's very good for you or anything like that.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: I haven't looked that far into it, but I'm really
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: liking having it because then I don't have to worry
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: about my nails snapping all the time, and that's like, yeah,
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: everything for me, so's so good.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Behaviors we've learned from our parents. Firstly, Mom, we love you,
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: your dad.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Mom, Dad, thank you for choosing me to be your daughter. Speech.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: But I think even like there's gonna be learned behaviors
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: that my kids learned that I might not be so
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: proud of or I wish I did better. This is
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: not to blame parents. It's not fing to go to
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: your parents and like you told.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Me this and I'm fucked up because no, I learned
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: this from you. We're not doing that. We're not doing
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: We're not shaman, we're not naming and shaman.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: No, we're taking full responsibility.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: It's just cool to have awareness over things that have
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: been passed down that our parents have done or that've
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: said to us, that have made us behave in a
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: certain way.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, and it gives us awareness on where it came
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: from and what we can then do about it to
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: change that behavior.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Yes, definitely, So what's your first one?
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: First one would be coming from Mum would be to
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: love you, but emotionally shut down. So in conflict, hard conversations,
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: her kind of response is to either shut down or flat.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: So yeah, basically go really not cold, but like obviously
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: she's not fully at present there. And that's something that
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: I in my early years and leading up until about
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: probably like my twenties, I really learned how to do.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: I really struggled with conflict, really strus good with having
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: hard conversations. I wanted to run away because I felt
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: too uncomfortable. So that's something that I had picked.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Up from her.
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: I just realized my parents is exactly the same thing.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: There you go, yeah, fight so yell yeah a lot, or.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: The completely silent treatment. Yes, silent treatment like starmalling a
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: little bit like.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: And like go in separate rooms and then just not
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: talk for a few days and then under rag and
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: carry on and then move on, no repair, no talking
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: about it. Same And I know when I get really uncomfortable,
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: I want to go for a car ride, like want
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: to drive and just like get away. I want to
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: run when it gets really icky, and then I want
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: to avoid for a few days to calm down and regulate.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: That's so interesting, yup, I do that shit.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: I just realized that when you're saying that cool, hey, yeah, interesting,
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: cool to see.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: I definitely feel like, I'm not perfect at this by
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: any means. I feel like I'm much better at communication
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: now because I used to do that. I used to
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: avoid and if you've listened to my friendship breakdown relationship
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: of the whole group in the coaching industry, I talk
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: about exactly this, this behavior of avoiding, avoiding, avoiding, creating
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: problems and losing people. So yeah, this is why I've
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: tried not to do it now. But again, I'm not perfect,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: so human have human moments all the time. Yeah, and
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: it still shows up for me now.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: So so the way that I'm trying to redo it now,
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: I've just had awareness around how I'm trying to bridge
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: that is I still sometimes feel like I need space,
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: but not as much of like not speaking for a
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: few days.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Is it started my relationship with Steve where we would
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: do that all the time if we had a fight,
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: but it would go like a week, we'd just like
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: be awkward and uncomfortable and icky and then just sleep
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: under the rugs and not talk about it. Yeah, Whereas
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: now I might need a couple of hours like just
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: reregulate and go out nature and just have my own time.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: Then I want to come back and have a better conversation.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah beautiful, Yeah, beautiful, that's cool.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I think I kind of like to read the room
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: when it comes to things like this, Like if it's
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: really late at night, I'll be like, Okay, you know,
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: maybe this can wait till the morning, definitely, Or if
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: we're out in public, I'll be like, Okay, let's wait
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: till we're in a better place where we can like
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: talk about this and priv and actually get into this conversation.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: So I think I like to read the room.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: But I think as much as I hate the discomfort,
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: I feel like I tried to lean in straight away
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: to just be like, OK, if we can squash it
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: here and we have the ability to do so, I'd
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: like to squash it now. But also if we can't,
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: I can also hold it to yeah.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: Because it's like, you know that old saying never go
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: to a bit angry. I'm like, I don't agree with that.
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: It's like, not that you want to go a bit angry,
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: but sometimes people need space to process totally so they
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: can actually show up and respond instead of reacting, because
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: sometimes in the moment, if they're just regulated, they're going
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: to react or say things that don't mean or not
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: actually be able to communicate what they're feeling. Yeah, so
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: it's actually okay to sleep on something and come back.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: Calmer in the morning. Absolutely. Yeah. My dad always taught
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: me to sleep on it. It's a good advibe. Whatever
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: it was, whatever relationship work, anything that I was dealing with,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: be decision. Yeah, just sleep on it. That's cool. Yeah.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: I love your dad. I know he's the best. He's great.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Speaking of dad, no, I was going to say one
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: from him. Oh, yes, go please. Yeah, I didn't have
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: a dad. Some good any I've learned from my stepdad.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Let's come just roasting ourself, just like, couldn't it.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: I'm a Sagittarius. Of course, I turned fucked up things
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: into humorous things.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: It's true. It's true.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, people pleasing, so he will do anything for anyone.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: But I really have and Dad's really good at conflict resolution,
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: but also to the point where I think it could
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: be sometimes overcompensating a little bit.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: So it falls a little bit too people pleasing.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: And I definitely have noticed that like that people pleasing nature,
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: or maybe like fawning nature, where it's like wanting to
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: get rid of the conflict so much that it's overly
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: into the faun response.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: And so I've noticed that I've done that over the years.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: I still do it now where I can really find
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: that anxiousness part of me come in, where I really
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: want to people please to make the other person feel comfortable,
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: even if it means me not being fully comfortable.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Yes, I've definitely cleaned that up.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: A lot in the last year especially, but it definitely
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: shows up for me, Like when I'm super triggered or
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: super anxious, I know that that can come out for me,
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: you know, But it comes from a place of love,
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: of course it does. But then also it's like, oh,
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: I don't really want to like get into a habit
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: of self abandoning myself in a moment to make everybody
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: else happy.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: Thing, Like we're talking about things that we have learned
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: from our parents from our childhood that we're trying to
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: reparent ourselves in our So like it's great that you've
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: said that it still comes up for you, because like
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: we're still in this with all of you. Everyone's got
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: this stuff that they need to reparent and actually work
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: on one per.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: And like you can work on stuff all you want,
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: and you might be good to a certain degree, but
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: there might be one person or one relationship where you
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: actively get triggered and triggered within that response, whereas every
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: other area of your life you're sweet, you know. So
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: it's like it's forever work and if you have it
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: come up for you before, you're probably gonna have it
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: come up for you again. Yeah, Like, just because you
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: do the work doesn't mean you're exempt from being triggered,
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: you're exempt from the wound coming up again, because sometimes
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: like old wounds come up in different ways. You know,
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: you might see it in a different way and go,
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: oh my god, wow showed up in this, or you
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: have a new relationship and they trigger that wound in
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: a different way than you've ever been triggered before.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: You know, I didn't know that was there. Yeah.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: So one that I got from I think both Mum
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: and dad, even like my grandparents was just like minis emotions.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: I just remember being at family events or at in
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: public and like don't be used since like be quiet,
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: like don't make a fuss. So just even being loud
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: and being a kid was I felt like a burden.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: But voicing something or like if I didn't like the
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: dinner or it was cold, like never to complain. Yeah,
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: don't be a burden. Just sit down and be quiet
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: and be a good girl. So, like growing up and
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: like learning how to use my voice, I think I'm
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: pretty good at it now.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: I was just about to ask you, like, does it
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: still show up for it?
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: I think it would in some scenarios, but I've been
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: super aware of this for a very long time. And
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: I think also because I was out of home when
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: I was sixteen, I really had to use my voice.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: I had to like stand up for myself when I
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: had to take care of myself. So I think I'm
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: pretty good at it for the most part. But I
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: do remember, and it is moments like we're talking about
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: at restaurants. Now there's a hair in my food or
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: something like that moment comes up for me to not
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: say anything, and I'm also like, no, I've bought this food.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: I can say it respectfully and can't and just ask
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: for it to be replaced. Yeah, but it still comes
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: up for me to not do it. It's my initial response,
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: but I'm pretty quick to catch the thought and squish
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: that away. No, you're allowed to have a voice. That's
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: your opinion matters. You know your opinion for saying what
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: you want and asking for what you want.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: For sure.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if you feel come to me
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: and bring this up. I feel like you had a
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: moment like that the other week.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Oh god, we go what was it? Yeah? About our
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: work trip? Go I going on?
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: Oh yes, where I started to freak out that I
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: was like a burden to you.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I did too. So I was.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Booking the accommodation and the flights and all the things
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: for my upper left surgery, and Tiana is coming down
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: to nurse me take care of me, and we're going
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: down for a week because I get the surgery and
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: then I have to wait there untill I get my
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: stitches out, which is like day five or six. Laters,
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: I'm staying now there the whole week when you do
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: surprize and stuff and just hang out and Steve will
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: stay home with the kids. But yeah, I had a
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: moment where I just like, yeah, I did. I had
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: a freak out. I was like, oh my gosh, I
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: just feel bad and like really worried about like the accommodation.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: I'm seeing her all these airbnbs and I'm looking at
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: them and they're super expensive. I'm like, oh my gosh,
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: I don't want her to be in an airbnbe she
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: doesn't like and what if it's not near a gym
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: or like you can't go for a nice walk.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: And I just started getting in my.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Head thinking about everything. Hey, oh my gosh. I felt
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: like a massive burden.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: I know. I was like, oh babe. I was like,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: are you feeling okay?
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: Dude?
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: I like you're okay. I'm like you're okay. Yeah, I'm
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: like you're like.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: I'm fine, as I was not fine, No, you were.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: I just I think it was just more and more
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: of an anxious day or more of a heavy win.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: It was I've been holding a lot, yes, other people
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: in my life and everything. Yeah, everything, there's been a
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: lot happening, that's right. So I think there was just
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: you were already holding that, and as you were saying
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: those things, I was.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: Like, fuck, am I that picky?
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: Like, but I'm picking too, And I get it. We've
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: spoken about it. We like nice accommodations. We're not going
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: to go You're gonna see us.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Camping in the tent.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Just so funny because you're being so concernsider it, right,
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: But like I could hear you were anxious, and I
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: was like, do I make her anxious? I was like,
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: am I abusive?
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: When I was kidding?
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: And then you replied and you were like, I'm easy
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: going as long as like I feel really nice in there,
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: But like, how am I going to know?
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: Because it was nice? Is this nice? My god?
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: It was just like, babe, honestly, it's so fine. Whatever
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: one you pick will be good.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: Then I scrolled up and you had said I liked
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: the first one best. I was like, booking it. I
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: could booking it.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: I'm honestly no, I swear I'm like somewhat of an
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: easy going person.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: I think me and you like nice commodations.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: We do.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not afraid to admit anymore. Well, I'm glad
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: you brought that out. That was his me being like, oh,
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: it doesn't really come up anymore.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: No, to be fair, though, I haven't seen it come
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: up for you.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: I haven't seen it come up for you other than that,
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: and only because that was recent. I don't think I've
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: ever really seen you expressed feeling like a burden. No,
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: not in the way that it came up last week.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: So that was Yeah, that was a day I felt
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: really bad, Like almost was like going to give you
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: the opportunity to pull out, like to not come.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: That's what I felt like. I felt like you were like, yeah,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: in case you didn't, you were starting it not wanting
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: to cry.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: You're like, oh, but I don't want to put you
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: out with work and clients and it disrupts your week.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, babe, babe, come, I'm like.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: Patting it like it's okay, free text.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: But it's like we all have our things, you know,
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: even with the communication thing, right, It's like I can communicate,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: but I also still get triggered. And then remember when
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: I was with Silver Fox, I yelled at him out
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: in front of your restaurant, yeah, which is so unliked him,
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: which was like so unlike me, right, so like out
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: of character moment for me. But it was one of
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: those real life moments where it just I got triggered.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: He was antagonizing me, and I just like snapped. So
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: it's just like you're not listening to me, Like I
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: need you to listen to me and give me space. And
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: it just like it came out in that moment. Yeah,
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: you know, it's cool sometimes it comes out unconsciously. Yeah,
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: that's a little girl inside of us. That's like, this
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: is the stuff that we've learned behaviors. It's the it's
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: what comes out of wound. That's like stuffed real deep down.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: And like for me, it was like he wasn't listenstening
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: to me. For you, it was like, don't want to
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: feel like a burden like you did when you were younger.
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so cooled to bring awareness to it. Hey,
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: that's why we have these conversations and she rises because
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: we know we're not alone or exempt feeling all of this,
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: and neither of you. As soon as you can bring
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: it forward, have the awareness around it and find love
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: for yourself in it, the less scary it feels less.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Hey, it feels and.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: Even you can hear in the conversation we're having now
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: there's no judgment, there's no like high emotion. We're like
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: laughing for the most part anally because it's just neutral.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: It's so just like, oh, I'm looking at this from
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: like a data, I'm collecting data. I'm like creating a
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: file on Tiana, I'm creating a file now actually, and
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: we're learning about ourselves.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: So we can go cool. This is why we do
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: what we do.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Definitely, how else do we change the way that we
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: show up as we learn? We bring awareness to it.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: We shine torches on these little wounds that exist within
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: us and the little niggles and behaviors and things that
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: we do that creeps through so that we can be better.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: There's honestly a hand in my heart, not one moment
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: in this conversation when you put that. For that, I
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: carry shame around for That's why I'm like literally giggling,
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: So I'm like, oh wow, that's still there.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: But it isn't of like, oh shit.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: That's really bad, yeah, but all it's just like, oh wow,
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: that can still show up. And I think on that
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: day I was super dysregulated and upset about other things
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: that I didn't even give myself, which is one of
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: my things I'm trying to focus this year is actually
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: having space to feel that I didn't even really understand
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: how disregulated I was feeling and how much that was
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: starting to come up for me until now.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: So that's cool.
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's school just stacking, stacking, and there's no
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: shame around it. Like when you guys listening, we don't
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: want you to carry shame for this stuff coming up
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: for you, because we're not shaming ourselves got one bit.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: If anything, it makes me have more love for myself.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: I want to give myself a hug, my younger version
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: and my adult version of just like oh you're safe,
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: like you're not a burden, and just to have trust
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: in you that if you didn't want to come, you
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: wouldn't have put your hand up and you wouldn't be like.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: I'm excited and like, well were doing this. I literally
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, can't wait to go to Sydney.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: She's like, I don't want to be a burden. I'm like, babe,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I want to hang out with you. Usually we get
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: sleep offers for seven nights in a row, like this
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: is what dreams are made up.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah it's true. And that's exactly what I said
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: to you in the moment too. I just said, babe,
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: like if I couldn't have come, yeah, it was going
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: to be not good for me. It was going to
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: throw me out all those like I just I would
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: have just said no, yes, like I'm coming because I
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: want to.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know we're going to have fun. Yes, Oh
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: my God, that's coming up. Back to the topic negative
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: self talk.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes, I think we could all relate. I think
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: we both relate to this one. Yeah, only because we
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: were talking about it beforehand. Yes, so negative self talk?
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Who do I get this from?
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: Both friends? For me mom and stepdad. Your dad doesn't
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: seem like he'd be a negative self talk kind of person.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: No, but he can be hard on.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Himself, has high standards for himself.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't know your mum as well as what
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: I speak to your dad a lot more.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I would say the negative self talk thing
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: probably comes from mom.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, in terms.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: Of like can be a bit critical, yeah, nippicky, Yeah,
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: that sort of stuff. So with my mum, I've noticed
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: over the years that Mum really like praises my dad,
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: which is really beautiful, but sometimes to the point where
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: she puts herself down, you know, where it's like, oh,
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: but your dad's so smart, and your dad's so intelligent.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: He's the big ideas man.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: You know, his idea is better than mine, or he
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: can explain it better than me, and like just little
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: things like that.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: Oh, I do that with Stave sometimes too.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, I really notice it in my mom and
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: like it makes me feel sad because it makes me
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: think that she feels disempowered, you know, in comparison to
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: my dad, And like, I get it, they have different
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: strengths and stuff like that. And my mom there's some
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: areas where she's really strong and then maybe my dad
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: doesn't have that strength, you know.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: So they compliment each other.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: But you know, when it comes to like computers and
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: just little things like that, she would be like, oh no,
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: I don't know how to do that.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: She won't give herself permission to learn.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Yes, she's so's too hard, basket, and I'll give it
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: to your dad because he'll know how to do it.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: But sometimes I just like I would love to see
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: her empowered in that ali try so I think when
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: I see it in myself, I'm like, maybe stop myself
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: from learning or trying to grow because I'm like, oh, no,
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: like men are smarter than me or past part and
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: I've done this right, past partners. I've praised them and
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: then been like, oh, like I'm not as smart, I'm
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: not as capable or whatever. Yeah, And I think it's
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: also comes down to a thing of wanting them to
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: do it for us, you know, I think so to
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: help us. Yeah, I think it's an element of that.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: It's a line with it, I guess.
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I see two. And like Steve is super intelligent.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: He's a very smart man. And I always thought he
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: was like just naturally quite smart. But then as I've
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: observed him over the years, if he wants to learn
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: about something, like you'll see him for three months straight. Yeah,
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: it is every opportunity moment. He's on YouTube, he's reading
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: his audio books, he's like talking about it, and he'll
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: learn until he fully understands it, can teach it. He
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: actually learns. And he's been out of home since he
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: was fifteen. He's had to learn so much. It's just
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: like in him now to better understand or don't know
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: how to do something, I'll figure it out because I'm like, oh,
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: I'm so dumb. I like I can't do it. Can
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: you do it for me? Because I just won't be
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: able to figure that out. Yeah, because he's like, no.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: You can. You just don't want to. Are you lazy?
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Are you not interested? Or are you wanting some help? Clear?
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: I love the men.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: I love men in that sense, like they're very driven
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: in that so just like I really admire that about men.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: They really put their mind to something and then they
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: would just make it happen.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: If they really want to.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Like there's some stuff Steve doesn't want to do,
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: like say, mowing the lawns. It's like, fine, I would
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: rather put my time into growing the business than being
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: out mowing the lawn.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: So I delegate that.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: But if it's something he's really interested in, it will
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: help him grow his business or grow him as a person,
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: Like he'll.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: Go all over it, all over it. Yeah, my dad's
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: like that too.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think, yeah, maybe like disempowering myself and
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: being like oh oh maybe I can't learn that or
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: you know, maybe I'm not capable or maybe you know,
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: as that definitely comes up for me.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like it's good way to look at it. Actually,
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: I've never looked at it like feeling disempowered. I've just
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: thought like, oh, I myya Stephen, how smart he is
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: and he'll do it faster than me. Like if it's
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: something to do with Taj and helping him, Oh that's
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: a bad question.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: Like, yes, he's so much smarter than me.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: Get that.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: But it does make you feel disempowered. Yeah, And it's like,
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: to what degree is that happening? Yes, you know definitely
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: where else is it showing up? Yeah?
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: And then also what is that teaching? Taj Like I'll
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: just go ask someone smarter or actually like and figure
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: it out.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: YEA, that interesting. Cool, We're learning a lot this way.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: But yeah, so the way that I'm kind of learning
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: how to reparent myself through that and have been over
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: the years, I definitely think it's been a journey for
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: me in terms of negative self talk. I used to
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: be really bad with it, probably like five years ago,
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: and then I kind of just made a commitment to
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: myself to kind of like drown out the negativity. And
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: what I mean by that is any time that I
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: noticed that I'm like kind of shitting on myself or
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: you know, punishing myself or being like you can't do
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: it and you're not smart enough and see you can't
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: follow through and that at that, like all the negative
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: head talk, I go.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: No, I'm not entertaining that today.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: That's nice and just like no, you know what, like
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: that doesn't have to be my story and I just
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: don't give it any weight. And I found that the
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: more that I've kind of not given any of that weight,
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: and I focus on what I would rather tell myself instead.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: I feel more empowered.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: Because my head is not full of negative things that
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: I'm feeding myself every single day. It's actually full of
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: things of like, yes, this is hard, but you will learn. Yes,
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: this feels challenging, but that's how you're gonna grow, Like
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: of course, like give it a month and you'll be fine.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: The ways that I talk to myself really change the
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: way that I feel about myself. And there was actually
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: a video that I saw on social media this woman
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: talking to herself, right, and she's staring directly at the camera,
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: and it's like, watch me change my thoughts and how
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: I think and feel about myself and how that changes
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: my exterior. And she's looking at the camera and she's smiling,
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: and she's like and she's talking to herself really positively,
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: and she's like got this smirk on her face and
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: she looks all lit up, and then she starts to
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: go into negative self talk and her face literally changes.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: It goes from like a smile to like a oh,
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: and like changes her physiology. Yeah, yeah, And I just
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: thought that was really cool because that's a cool representation
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: of how negative self talk impacts your energy, how you feel,
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: your vibration, the way that you look those things.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought that was really cool. That is really cool.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: Another thing I do too, I love the like how
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: you're like that doesn't have to be my story.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I do that as well.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: So and then there's also things that like something I'd
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: say I was dumb at, let's say Facebook ads, I
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: look at Steve's computers and I'm like, oh my god.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: I used to say, like, I'm so dumb I could
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: not learn how to do that. Now I say, I'm
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: not dumb. I actually have no interest in learning that.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not passionate about that.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: I would rather be my creative I'd rather be out
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: here doing that. Not dumb, just knowledge, just in learning.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: My mom helped me realize this because when I used
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: to say I'm dumb, she said to me and older,
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: you're not dumb. You're actually really smart. When you're passionate
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: about something and you're taught in a way that you understand.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: If you're not bookstart doesn't mean that you're dumb all
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: of a sudden. You just learn in a different way.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: And the things you love you're really good at.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's true.
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, that's so interesting, So maybe
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: not just not interested in it, you're just in science,
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: not interesting.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: I don't want to learn.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: I've got a calculator, You're okay, I'm not going to
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: use a buns and burner and I've got to calculate.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: I don't need to learn my times table wants.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: To know the square root of Pike three point one forward. Honestly,
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: just that makes so much that that's a really beautiful
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: way of framing it is because then it's like that
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: story doesn't become your story for future things.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: That's like, no, I actually don't want to do this.
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: But if you told yourself you're dumb every time you
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: have come across a new challenge, are you dumb or
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: you're not interested in learning? Or have you have you
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: even given a go? Yeah, maybe you'll be a fucking
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: genius at it. Yes, to get some time to learn it.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: There was this quote that really stuck with me, and
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: it was like, did you try or did you move
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: the fucking world.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: To make it happen?
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm humbled, you're right here, thank you. No,
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: because it's true.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: That hit me in the face, But did you try?
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: Did you move the fucking world to make it happen?
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh my god, that's like my motto
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: for everything.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: Now.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: If i ever feel disappointed in an.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Outcome, I'm like, I say that to myself. So true,
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: you tell me which one you chose? So true, really passionate.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: Break it in so written down, pretending to be strong
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: all the time isn't good for anyone, And how I
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: do things differently with my kids but also need to
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: practice doing this myself. Goes back into my words of
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: this year and actually allowing myself to feel everything rather
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: than trying to be strong all the time. But it's
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: something I'm still actively working on. But if I don't
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: do that, then my kids are going to feel like
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: they have to do that because they see me be
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: strong all the time.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: So there is times now when I'm upset and I'm crying.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: I'll go into my bedroom so the kids don't have
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: to see me. But then Tyler will come in and say, Mommy,
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: I love you and like are you okay and kiss
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: and cuddle me, and I'm like, Mommy's just sad, and
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: I'll tell her I'm feeling sad because I don't want
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: to hurt every feeling shame for feeling sad. Or I'll
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: say ta, Taj, I've had a really stressful, hard day.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: I love my work, but there's a lot I'm holding
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: right now, or so Annie Megi today and I'm feeling
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: really sad about Rambo and he'll say why, and I'll
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: like explain it to him. It's like every emotion is
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: going to be in their human experience, so I want
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: to share a bit more of that with them rather
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: than just trying to keep my shit together all the time.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: And in reality, am I keeping my shit together all
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: the time?
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: No? I'm probably more snappy, more on edge, and more
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: anxious if I'm not allowing myself to actually feel so true,
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: And that's why I wanted to take more time to
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: feel whatever comes up for me this year instead of
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: trying to just push it to the side, to be strong,
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: to get shit done and be a good mum and
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: all the things.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so inspired by the way that your parent, Thank.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: You appreciate that always room for improvement, but do my best.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: Thank you, incredible parent, Thank you very much appreciate that
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: love you do you.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: Have any more I think that's all. Thank you for
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: joining us. We hope you learned something. We definitely did learn.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: We definitely like took a turn, but it's good. I
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: feel like we went a little bit deeper than what
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: we were planning on. Great this episode, which is great.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: Just learned more about ourselves and each other. Yeah, which
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: is really cool. Yeah, love that. It really is if
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: you love this kind of topic. And even like in
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: a child work, there's a whole month we have inside
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: Rise and Side that's all about this because in a
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: child work is some of the most powerful work you'll
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: ever do. You can build a relationship with your little
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: girl inside you. Oh, I just can't even explain what
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: it does for you. It just helps you have so
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: much more compassion because I just always think about and
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: maybe now I've got a little girl and a little boy,
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: but I just think about when I'm really hard on myself,
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: and then I like, look at a photo of my
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: younger self. I would never be that hard on Tyler Rata.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: Why am I being that hard on myself? Because that
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: little girl, she's still a part of who I am.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: She still has the same heart, she's still sensitive, she's still.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: Hard on herself.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: She still wants to do her best and she's still
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: making mistakes. You've got to allow love and compassion for that.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: And that's what your child work is so really excited
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: for that month.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, it's gonna be really beautiful because, like, at
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: the end of the day, like your foundation and your
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: relationship with yourself is the first one. Yes, it is
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: above all everything else, and then everyone else comes after that.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: So if your relationship with yourself can become a really
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: beautiful safe haven for yourself, and it's like the way
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: that you treat everyone else in your life, you'll only
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: mirror that and rippule that into everyone else, you know,
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: because when you think about the things that you needed
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: from your parents to feel loved, to feel safe, to
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: feel seen, to feel heard, all of those things, and
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: you can become that person for you. How empowering that
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: you're ever going to have to outsource anything ever in
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: your life because ultimately you are everything that you need.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: Everything else after that is just a bonus, you know.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: And like, as a woman for yourself, if you're listening
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: to this and you're like, oh my gosh, I want
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: to be able to lead myself in my life, in
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: my emotions, my relationships. Building a relationship with you in
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: a child is where it's going to start. And if
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: you can heal that, you can do anything, definitely.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: So if you've listened to this, you're like, gosh, I've
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: never gonnect to with mat in a child, or I
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: want to learn more about this. It's month three, yeah,
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: Month three yeah inside Rise Inside.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: So yes, But if when you join Rise Inside, you're
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: going to start from the very beginning because you've got
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: to go through the nervous system work first before you
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: can go onto any other month. So even if everybody
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: else is a couple of months ahead of you, that's
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: absolutely okay.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: You're on your own journey.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: Start with nervous system first, then mindset, mindset.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: He believes, and then also in a child healing yeah.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Month three yeah.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: I feel like the month for one really sets everyone
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: up for the months to come because you have to
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: have a regulated nervous system, but actually unpack and go
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: through all of the other things. But the way we teach,
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: I just feel like it's very easy to integrate. Yes,
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: because you understand it. Your building your toolbox. You can
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: take things off and even the meditations and the inner
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: chelf month though, Like that is just the most beautiful
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: way to connect with your younger self.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: So good, so freakin call.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: So we'll leave the details in our description box. Otherwise,
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: I just pop over to our Instagram. We can help
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: you out.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: Otherwise, we'll see you guys in the next episode and
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: we'll see you then. Bye bye