Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / Slow the f*ck down… we’re all exhausted 🥵

Transcript

Slow the f*ck down… we’re all exhausted 🥵 · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apoday production.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today. Welcome
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: up together.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Let's go deep, let.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: The emotions flow, and find the lessons to grow and glow.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow and
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: we're here to be your expander. Hello everybody, welcome back.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: And today we're talking about just slowing it right down.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: This has been so relevant for both Kiara and I
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: feel like we're on very similar paths, which is really
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: nice to be surrounded by women who just get it.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: And we're trying to listen more, read more, be around
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: more beautiful feminine energies and just women that really embody
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: their feminine essence and are slowing down and nurturing themselves
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: and are open and magnetic, and that's what we're wanting
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: more of. So we've really been focusing on it and
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: it's been so beautiful and so like, I don't know.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Just it's an exciting journey too.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: It's really exciting, but it's also there's been moments of
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: discomfort as I like change and navigate through. But yeah,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: it's been really cool and excited to see where we
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: both are in six months time and how we're showing
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: up and how we're doing things differently. So we thought
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: we'd talk about it today because anytime you talk about
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: it on socials or I mentioned little things on socials,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: like our dms explode with wanting more, which shows us
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: that so many women are struggling with this. And you know,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: for so long we were pushing for equal rights and
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: for women to be empowered and like we can lead
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: the way and we can be directors and CEOs and
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: all this stuff, which is so empowering and so cool,
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: but also we're still mums, we're still managing household, we're
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: still carrying all it and wearing all these hats fucking burn. Yeah,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: and it's so praised and celebrated, but then like, at
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: what cost the cost of our energy, the cost of
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: our relationships, the cost of our house, our nervous system,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: our sleep, skin, at dijustive issues like everything that we
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: value is because we're so fucking busy. Yeah, we need
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: to just put a pause for a moment and take
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: a breath. But it's hard because now we're all kind
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: of stuck in these ruts.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: You've committed to things, and you're if you really want
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: to change your life, you're having to make drastic moves.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Yes, we've all bitten off a little bit more than
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: what we can do. Yeah, and sometimes it takes a
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: big health scare or something to happen to make us go, oh,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: this does not feel good anymore. And then it's also
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: having that realization, Like I remember realizing like I don't
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: want to do this business anymore. But it's like, but
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I'm stuck. How do I get out of this? I've
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: committed to this. I feel like I owe my audience
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: to keep going. I feel like I own my staff
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: members to keep going. I owe it to myself. I
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: want to show my kids like you can do all
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: the things. Yeah, but at what costs?
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Isn't it amazing for your kids to see you actually
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: listen to your heart intuition. Yeah.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I loved having in this conversation with Taj about closing
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Baseline because he was even like, but why, Mom, that's
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: your business. It makes money. I was like, yeah, it does, honey,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: it does, but I don't enjoy it anymore. And I
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: hope you know right now you want to be a
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: police officer. If you go and study and get qualified
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: and you're a police officer for six months and you go,
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: why don't mum, I don't like this? Cool, Go be
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: a painter, you know, whatever you want to do. I
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: want you to try different things. And when you're twenty
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: to twenty five, you might do one job, and then
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: you know, twenty six to twenty eight, you might do
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: another job. Like whatever, I just go with the flow,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: do it, set your heart and fire, try new things.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Never think that you just have to stay in one
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: box and remain as you are. Yeah, which is really cool.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: It's a cool conversation, really cool conversation, an important one
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: for us to have in this day and age, and
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: also this whole movement of us wanting to slow down,
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: both having daughters as well, like I don't want Tarlet
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: to put on a masculine shield and mask from an
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: early age, and like feel that she needs to be
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: moving the pace that women are these days, because it's
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: exhausting and it doesn't feel good. It's not where our
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: natural energy is, you know, a natural feminine we are
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: slow and we receive, and we're flowy, and we're creative
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: and we're nurturing. We can't embody all of that when
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: we're running at the pace that we are. We cannot
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: be that. When we're hustling, going, we're goal orientating. We're
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: so stuck in our head.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: When we're in our head, we're not in our body,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: and then our body can't relax and flow. Then we
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: can't surrender, Then we can't receive. Then we build resentment
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: for the masculine as well. And the polarity is just
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: like head butting. It's a downward spiral. But we didn't
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: see it until we kind of pull ourselves out and
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: go ah.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: I said to Ashi, I feel like a big thing
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: for us too with starting this journey was actually eateen. Yeah,
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: because I started reading those feminine energy books. So I
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: feel like for us and just being in the wavelength
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: of being able to completely tune in slow down, there'd
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: be no rush is having four days of life really
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: going at your body's pace. Yes, it was like, how
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: the hell can I incorporate this more into my life,
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: because man, I've missed actually like feeling myself, Like you
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: get so busy you don't even check in with yourself.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. The pace we're running at, it's like we
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: were running a marathon, running at the pace of your
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: not even live line.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: You're not living for you, No, you're living for fucking
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: everything else but yourself.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah. The rate that we're running at, our mind, our
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: body just is not keeping up, but we're forcing it to. Hence,
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: while we feel so burnt out, exhausted, stressed, resentful, digestive
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: issues like whatever's going on. I think if we actually
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: slowed down and when at the pace of our body,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: not our minds, so much of our issues and problems
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: would be resolved so quickly. Like I don't know about you,
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: but I feel like I'm just scratching this serve. It's
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: like I'm just at the beginning of my journey and
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: I've already learned so much and incorporated so much and
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: felt so different. But I can't wait for the next
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: six months. Yeah, exciting, so cool.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: Something else that I've really noticed as well, that I've
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: focused on, which I feel like I've noticed it in
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: you too, is my talking pace.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: As we said, that's a previous episode.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: But I feel like it's something I've consciously been doing.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Rather than like just being in my head and splurting
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: out everything I'm thinking, I'm actually taking a second to
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: be like, well, how does that feel? How do I
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: want to respond, rather than like just reacting and saying
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: every little thing that's coming to my mind. So that's
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: been a big one for me that I feel like
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: has been really cool and been a bit more of
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: a challenge because we are fast talkers.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're talking to water.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: I've noticed a walking pace, babe. This is another thing
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: that's cool because I can see these things in you
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: as well. Like when we came up here, I think
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: it was a couple times ago. We're walking somewhere we're
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: going to like dinner, and I remember I had like
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: high heels on and I'm like just cruising.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: And You're like, I'm I trying to keep up with you,
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm a lot taller than you,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: remember to my strips, a lot larger than your spend
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: this trip. You've just been like cruiser.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing is it also is just the
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: way you sh show up and it doesn't have to
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: be all the big things.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: It can also be all the little things.
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  Speaker 2: How are you walking from place to place? Are you
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: rushing and frantic and grabbing this and grabbing that and
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: blah blah blah, Or are you like I can take
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: five extra seconds to get somewhere and actually be in
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: my body, Yeah, and not in my head.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: I caught myself the other day grocery shop. I think
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I was telling you on the way up here, and
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: I was rushing around getting the groceries, and I was like,
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: I just stopped in the middle of grocery store and
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I was like, soe down, Sis, you don't have to
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: keep rushing through, take your time. And I'm having this
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: internal conversation, like you love grocery shopping, You love checking
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: out the new foods and going down each aisle. Like
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: grocery shopping for me is really therapeutic. I love it.
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  Speaker 1: So I took my sweet ass time walking through the aisles.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: Checking the ingredients.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, checking everything out, just like I didn't need to
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: rush back. No, so he's coming home with the kids.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Why am I rushing?
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: But that's time differends. This is the thing, like we
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: think if you rush, you're going to actually do something
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: so much faster. But it's like if you go at
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: a bit of a slower pace, it might add an
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: extra five or ten minutes to the whole trip.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Like it's not much, yeah, is it. It's just the
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: experience of it making it more slow, more enjoyable, and
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: every single day too, Like it's those micro moments you're
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: missing if you're rushing that actually can be really enjoyable,
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: like cooking your dinner, putting the creams on your body,
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: doing your skin care, taking a slower shower, like feeling
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: the fabric of the pajamas that you're putting on. Just
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: like taking more slow moments with your kids. Yeah, looking
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: at the ingredients of the shopping list, like just breathing
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: and going at the pace of your body, not your mind.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: That's the big takeaway I think too.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: By slowing down, I feel like I've been loving on
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: myself more so when I'm putting like my skin care
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: on rather than just like slopping wo whack, she's done
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: for the day, actually taking time and like massaging it
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: so it actually feels nice. It feels like an experience.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: It's doing the exact same task, but making something. I
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: guess it's kind of a little bit like romanticizing your life.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: I feel it was like a trend, but it's actually
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: so true. That's it.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: It's like massaging the stuff into your skin, taking your time,
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: appreciating all the things about yourself, and you really feel
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: like you get just so much more connected and in
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: touch with yourself, and it's a really good way to
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: show yourself self love as well.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: I saw a stat the other day and was talking
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: about kids that are more likely to have anxious tendencies
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: can also be stemmed from parents that are always in
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: a rush, because it puts their little bodies in flight
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: or flight instead of them just like going with the
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: flow and going at a nice pace that feels good
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: for their body. You like rushing them along, that energy
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: and that intensity like freezes their body and like, over time,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: you can see how that makes them anxious.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you're anxious.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Oh exactly, carry up, Come on, you can't spend that
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: long quickly. Yeah, So when we're moving so fast, your
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: body is really really tense, and that means your energy
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: is also tense. So then your kids feel that and
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: then we continue the cycle of their not being able
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: to soften and feel safe.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: So true, right, definitely.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: They can start to feel anxious or on fight or flight,
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: or have trouble sitting still and being able to sit
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: with their own feelings because they're always on the go.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: So it's I have to ask to break these cycles
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: and just do it differently. And the main thing that
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: I would try to focus on is just stop during
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: the day and just get your breath back. We forget
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: to breathe. And this is something I've spoken about for
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: a long time, Like a lot of people think they
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: don't have time to meditate or do breath work. Call
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: I get it. We're all busy in the micro moments,
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: whether it's when you're doing a Wii, when you're at
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: the grocery store waiting in line, when you know, just
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: the first thing you do when you wake up, just
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: sit at the end of your bed and just take
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: ten intentional slow breaths in the sparless morning while you're
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: editing your real I just took five big breaths. It
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: doesn't have to be long, it doesn't have to look
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: a certain way. You don't have to be in a
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: corner meditating like a monk. Like you can literally just
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: take micro moments where you stop and breathe, and that's
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: something I've been really trying to incorporate whenever I can.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I have a moment. Even coming back from Eden, I
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: haven't been doing the twenty minute meditations in my car,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: but I say to myself, even if you've just got
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: time for five minutes, and sometimes I'll just put on
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: relaxing music and I'm not even taking massive breasts, but
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: I'm just closing my eyes and being still. Being still
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: allows your body to rest. And the more we carry
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: that energy, and the more our kids see that as well,
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: that becomes their normal. I don't know about you, but
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I don't want my kids to feel like they always
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: need to rush and be achieving and being busy and
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: not sitting and listening to their body, listen to how
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: they feel, because when you also do that too, you
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: actually get time to get clarity on what you actually want.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: When you're rushing, you don't know, you're just doing anything.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: You're doing the things you've always done, regardless if it
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: feels good or not, and even if it doesn't feel good,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: you're not asking yourself, so you just keep doing the
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: same shit, getting the same result, and you wonder when
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: you end up feeling burnt out.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Definitely.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: I also heard that when we experience traumates from something
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: happening too fast, too too quickly, or feeling like it's
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: too much. And what happens is when we're constantly rushing
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: through life, we're not regulated. We're actually almost like retraumatizing ourself.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: Feel like, put yourself in the same experience, the same
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: experience again. So by slowing right down as well and
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: regulating our nervous system. I can't even start to explain
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: how nice it feels to have a more regulated nervous
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: system when you wake up each morning.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: And each time you do that, you are then rewiring
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: your brain to know and to tell your body it's safe.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: And the more experiences you have of safety, the more
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: overall you're healing.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: Within yourself, getting in touch with yourself, checking in with yourself,
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: being still being slow, giving yourself like the love it needs.
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: Like it's just crazy that we live at such a
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: frantic pace. I feel like so many of my friends
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: when I chat to them and have this conversation like,
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: when was the last time you like just stopped and
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: checked in with yourself?
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I can't even remember because it's celebrated to
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: be busy. Yeah, the busy hustlegirl era is over or
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: it's coming to an end. I really feel like it is,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: and I'm really excited for the women of the next generation.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: So I think it's up to us. But it's hard
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: because we've been living in it for so long. We
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: really have. But like we had that conversation with Brad,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: like I won't go over again and go listen to
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: the episode. Basically I got a pushback comment that was, like,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: you've glorified the hustle, you know, and maybe maybe some
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: people have interpretated like that, but there's different seasons of
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: your life. And I don't regret any of that because
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: it felt good for me until it didn't feel good,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: and then when it didn't feel good, I had patterns.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: And it's only now that I've actually like taken a
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: step back and going oh and reflected and seeing what's happening.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: And now I'm creating the change. And you're all going
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: to go through that, Like there might be someone that's
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: twenty two listening to this right now and you do
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: not relate at all you were in your Like I've
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: got a girlfriend at the moment. She's twenty seven. She's
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: a life coach, and I talked about all of this,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: but she's in a completely different area. She's got no kid,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: she's in a hustle stage. She is building her business,
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, go girl, But she's also like, I'm
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: super aware that I also want to be taken care of.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I also want to nurture, you know, my man and
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: my family, and you know when that happens. So whatever
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: is feeling good for you right now. But your work
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: and your hustle can still be feminine and slow, definitely,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: And that's what I wish I learned earlier, is to
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: be able to do all the things, because being femine
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean you can't work and have goals and run
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: a business. It's making that work more slow, from your heart,
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: more intentional that will keep you in your feminine essence.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Definitely.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: That's tricky. I don't actually know how to do that yet.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: Like that's what I'm learning, But I think our work too.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: We were having this conversation as well. Running Baseline was
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: very masculine. Grow and Glow is so fat, so feminine.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: We get to like talk with people, we get to
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: be around to help community.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Get to nurture community connection. We can take our own pace.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: There's no pressure, there's no deadlines. No, there's structure around it,
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: but it's such flowy structure it is, and that's why
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: it feels so nice. It never feels exhausting or hard
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: or I don't know. It's just such a different feeling.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: And it's been so cool since closing that to see
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: how different it was and be like, oh, I can
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: see how I don't ever want to go back to that.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: I probably do more work, but I want more of
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: this flowy, beautiful work that feels really good to my
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: heart and my body.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: And even like you know, when you were doing Baseline before, yeah,
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Grow and Globe, probably the energy that you were giving
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: all areas of your life was more that energy because
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: that was bringing with that energy, you know what I mean.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: Whereas when you let go of those things, then you
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: can bring a beautiful energy into everything else.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: It feels different to do the work, and even as
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: a parent, like it feels so different to parent in
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: my masculine, to parent in my feminine, and parenting can
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: be very masculine. It can be very structured and routine,
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: and you're keeping a human alive that requires your brain
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: being on. But when you're coming from your feminine it's
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: so nurturing and soft and patient and playful, playful, and
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: you can see the tone and the energy that you
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: bring to a room. You can see how much that
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: your kids feel that definitely, it's so beautiful.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: I'm saying to Ashy that, like, since I've been really
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: leaning into and focusing on this work, Kurt says to
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: me in the morning, is like when you come down
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: stairs now, he goes, you just bring this calm energy
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: with you. And I'm like, yes, because it's not every day.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: You know, we have our off days and I'm like,
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: I don't have my calm energy today, but I can
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: feel the difference. You know, Ashley and I aren't here
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: and we aren't perfect. It's a process, and that's the
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: exciting part is it's a journey for us to go
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: on and to try to embody more of and listen
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: to our intuition more and get more in touch with ourselves.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: And you know, this is the fun part of life
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: is discovering these different layers to us.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: And we are talking about this as we're going through it,
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: so like we are not keep saying that I want
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: to keep saying that out loud, that I'm at the
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: start of this journey, like I'm just scratching the service,
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: the service, and I can't wait to take you guys
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: along this journey with us as we learn and grow.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: And we were also reflecting on an episode that we did, yes,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: only a couple of months ago, and this goes to
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: show how much can change in a small amount of time.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: As we were doing episode, it was about Sky Wheatley
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: and just like wearing all the hats, and we were like, wow,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: it's incredible. She does it also well and like so inspiring.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: But if you look on a social she's having so
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: many like hard times and breakdowns. And I'm saying this
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: out loud because she's spoken about on a social media
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: so obviously you know she's happy to talk about it.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: But so many women are juggling and wearing all the
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: hats at the cost of their energy and feeling burnt
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: out and not thriving. They're literally surviving each day, definitely,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: and that is not a way that I want to
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: live anymore. No done that, yeah no more, no, no
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: thank you.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: How much better does it feel to be living this way?
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: So much better. And I felt like too, when you're
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: wearing all the hats, like how much of those hats
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: that you're actually doing well? Like, yes, I was juggling lots,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: but I feel like I could only give them each
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: twenty percent of my actual proper energy and efforts. So
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: it was a half past effort definitely, and a half
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: last result.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: And I want to go back as well. When we're
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: talking before about us starting this journey and being on
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: this journey, I think as well, sometimes people look at
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: other people when they're doing certain things and feel like
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: they're perfect. No matter how amazingly great someone is, they
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: could have done all of the work. We're all still
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: human beings and we're all still gonna fall off or
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: wheel around, or even when we're chatting to Brad about
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: you know, how he's wrong about his car on the
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: road and how it like pulls you back in if
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: you guys have one of those cars, and he's like, yeah,
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: you go off track, and yeah, I just wanted to
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: say as well, like that is completely okay and part
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: of the journey.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: One hundred percent. But it's just having that self awareness
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: to be like, oh, interesting, that's still there, Okay, cool,
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: let's rain it back in. And I'll notice myself too,
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Like if I'm busy on my phone working whatever, and
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: I get agitated with the kids and I'm like, oh,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: hang on a second, no, I'm not doing that anymore.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: Take a big breath, get back in my body. Who's
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: the mum that I want to be? Okay, let's go.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: One other thing that I really want to say as well,
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: is like, what are these outcomes all worth? If we
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: are feeling overwhelmed and stressed? So you know, all these
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: things that everyone is doing, right, these businesses that all
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: this money that you're making, it's like, yeah, that's all great,
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: but you're spending it and you're miserable.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: For what exactly?
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: And like it's just such a good little thing to
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: think about. It's like, actually the time to be like, Okay, yeah,
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: so maybe I need to do this, maybe I need
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: to do that, blah blah blah.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: But it's like, but what's it all for? What's it
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: all worse? Literally? And that's the questions I was asking
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: myself when closing down Baseline, and Steve was like, can
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: you see yourself doing this in five ten years? I
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: was thinking about it. I'm like even if it's making money, Like,
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: for what, what does the money mean? Is that more
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: important to me than having time with my kids or
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: working on something that truly lights me up? Drains my energy,
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: stressed me all the time I ever get a break
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: from for what? I still couldn't give you an answer
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: why I would continue doing that.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: I love active wear, I love designing clothes. I love
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: photo shoots for sure, But it's like twenty percent of
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: it for what, there's no answer I get, or you'll
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: have bills to pay. But even does a change of
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: job one hundred percent?
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: Does a change of job just going you know what?
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Or changing a role, like if you're in like a
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: really high up CEO role, maybe get paid a bit more,
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's worth going, Like maybe I want to just
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: go down a notch and have that been more flowy,
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: less pressure.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, BII. There's a girl on social media that I've
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: told you about. Her name's Ellie, Yeah, and she was
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: an assistant to a influencer and business owner and she
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: had an amazing career and then she left that and
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: then she started an online business where she was helping
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: other CEOs find personal assistance. And it looked like it
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: was doing amazing and she was busy and living this
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: cool life and then she could it all and went
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: back to being a brewster. And I loved hearing her
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: talk about it because I was like, this is so
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: cool that she can fully just be like that wasn't
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: serving me. And yes, society might think I've failed or
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: I'm taking a step back, but for me, I'm taking
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: a step forward because it looks after my health, I'm
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: more happier. I want to just go to work and
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: then finish and come home and live my life and
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: be a twenty two year old. And I was like,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: I can't relate Because'm obviously a lot older in that sense,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: but it's similar.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she just wants to be able to enjoy a life.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: She had so much pressure, so much going on, that
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: she was busy, she didn't have time to actually enjoy
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: a life.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: I remember there's one video she was like, I just
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: don't actually like sitting in front of a computer all
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: day every day by myself at home running a business.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: And I was like, that alone coffee shop is enough
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: to say no more. I felt the same. I'm sitting
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: in my office like on a computer all day every day,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do that. No, I don't even
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: like being said it true where I'm sitting all day. No, Like,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: it's just so cool to ask yourself those questions. So, yeah,
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: maybe it's a role, or maybe it's the environment of
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: your work feels so fast paced and you just want
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: to be in the same role in a smaller company.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: Or maybe you can start to slow the pace down. Yeah,
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: maybe just start moving slower and see what people do,
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: see what the reaction is.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Or if it's not your work, maybe it's your home
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: life and just like like you said, the small things
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: like how your play skincare, just see where in your
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: life you can pull it back a couple of steps,
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: Just take it a bit slower, breathe, get back in
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: your body, and then just see where it takes you,
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: because you'll get clarity and you'll actually think more about
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: what's serving and what's not. What's feeling good. It's all feeling,
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: isn't It really is feeling into your body.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: Always doing stuff, you're not listening to yourself.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: And always doing hustling in your head. You're not feeling
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: you're out of your body. Yeah, and you're in your
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: masculine Yeah, getting back to that feminine essence is so beautiful,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: so beautiful.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: It feels so good, well aligned, because that's your core.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Baby. Yeah. And the polarity of the relationship as well,
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: it helps. Regardless of gender, we will have masculine and
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: feminine energy. If both of you are running in your
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: masculine energy too much, your butt heads and it won't
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: feel good. The polarity of one being feminine, one being
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: more masculine, it just flows more. Feels so good for
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: both parties. And to feel that in your relationship is
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: so nice. If you are butting heads and you are disconnected,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: then this is something to look into.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: And the crazy thing is like with this as well
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: as a lot of people that go like, but my
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: husband's like not being masculine, blah blah blah. You can
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: lead the way, you can hold the true lean more
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: into your feminine and I guarantee you he will start
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: to move more into his masculine role because you're leaning
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: into your feminine. It only takes one of us to
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: make that initial.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Move, definitely, And it's so easy, isn't it so interesting?
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: It's so easy to put the blame on the other
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: person and say, well, he's not masculine. He's not doing this,
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: I have to do it. It's like we you're don't.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Actually you're don't. And there's ways to communicate, and it
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: can be like a little ikey at the start while
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: you're both navigating it. But just have those open conversations
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: explain how certain things make you feel or how you
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: want to feel. Most masculine men want to fix, want
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: to make you happy, want things to flow. They want
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: to be nurchure and take care for. They want to provide.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: It can flow, but we both might have been living
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: out of your core energies. So now you've got to
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: communicate and work together to be dancing definitely flow.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: In this book that I read, it was talking all
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: about polarity and it had a really cool way to
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: communicate to your husband because men obviously always want to help,
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: they want to protect, they want to fix. If you
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: come to them and being like you're not being on
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: your masculine blah blah blah, obviously that's going to just
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: create fire and you're going to criticized if you go
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: to them and you're like, I'm feeling really disconnected from you.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling like I'm wanting to make you feel more
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: like this, and I wanted to feel more flowy, and
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm wanting to be that person a shop
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: in this way for you. How can we do this together?
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: But when you go to your feeling or say a
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: feeling first, or even you know off a situation happens,
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: rather be like you may be so fucking angry because
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: of this, you can go I'm feeling really upset. I'm
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: feeling really sad because I felt like maybe you didn't
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: like me, or maybe I don't feel worthy right now
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: because of the way that we spoke to each other before.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: So when you can speak from the way that you feel,
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: and that again is pausing and going internal and responding
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: rather than reacting. Yeah, but if you can go to
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: them with a feeling, they want to help.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: It's a simple switch of instead of saying you, it's
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: I you how it makes you feel? You did this,
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: You've done that, you're not doing this, It's like, I
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: feel this, I would like this. Do you think you
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: could help me with this? Yes, it's all about you
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: bringing on yourself so they don't feel criticized or blamed
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: or like it's their fault. They then want to step
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: up and be like okay, and.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: They feel so great because they're like, holy.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Crad help you, I helve you. Yeah I can do that. Yeah,
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: yeah for sure.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So that's been something that Kurt and I have
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: been practicing a lot, and he really likes it because
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: he likes fixing things. And I feel like that was
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: something that I used to always kind of do. I
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: would just like jump in and try to do it
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: for myself.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: I'll just do it whatever. I'm quicker anyway, and.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Even like if I'm going through a situation like I
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: just I have space and time and you know, see
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: how I feel now, I'm actually going to him to
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: break it down because it's not this thing. It's like
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: more so I'm asking for his help rather than I
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: don't need your help, yeah, and I'm spending to him.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: It's more like, no, I do want your help, Like
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: we can do this together.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: That's beautiful. Yeah, I love that.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: That was a really cool thing that I read in
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: a book.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: That's nice and even for the masculines too, like allowing
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: them to lead. I think as mums we can be
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: a bit overbearing and overpowering sometimes because we think we
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: know best, and you know what, most of the time.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: We probably can't change that. We can probably do things
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: a lot quicker and more efficiently and better because we
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: do it a lot more than them majority of the time.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: If you're the primary care gifer and you're with your
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: kids more, and I'm definitely with the kids more than
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: what Steve is now, we really do it better. But now,
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: like I'll catch myself and I'm like, just let him
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: do it how he wants to do it. You have
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: to jump in there, let him lead, let him learn,
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: let him do what feels good for him. They can
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: have their own way to do things. It's not right
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: or wrong, but just take a step back and just
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: trust your man. They want to feel trusted. That helps
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: them feel respected and helps them stay in their masculine energy.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: If you are criticizing, putting them down, and trying to
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: change everything that they're doing, they will just step back.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: Then they won't step up how you want them to.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: You want them to lead. It makes you feel safe,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: and it helps you to drop in, helps you to soften.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: It helps you to receive. We want to receive being
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: a feminine. But if you're constantly on them and controlling them,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: you're not in your receiving and.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Doesn't that go back to rushing again? Does hate? Because
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: if you're like not in a rush and you're like
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: okay with it being ten minutes later that you leave
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: or whatever, you're not caring about how long they take.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: To change, they take to do a poo in the toilet.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: Or whatever it may be that they're doing right when
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: you're But when you're not in a rush and you're
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: more like okay, it's just slowing down your pace.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, there's an incredible book that I actually
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: I think I skim read years ago because she was
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: actually a friend of mine and met her on a
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: Tony Robins event. But Libby Weaver's that last name. She's
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: got a book called The Rushing Woman's Syndrome. Oh I
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: want to read I need to read it again. Yeah,
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: I'll actually get her on the podcast. She'll come on. Oh,
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: yeah's incredible, woman's hormones, health, mental health, sex, hormones, like,
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: she's health, so holistic, she's incredible.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: We'll get her own mate, especially for right now.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: But yeah, she's got a book about the rushing women's
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: syndrome and the effect that it has on our bodies
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: and our health. So let's get her on to talk
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: about that. But in the meantime, Yeah, that's an incredible book.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: I'd recommend. I need to read it. I think I
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: skim read it because I actually got to go and
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: talk to her about stuffes like I dond't need the book.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: I do need the book. But yeah, let's get her on. Yeah,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: she'd be awesome.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: I'd love that.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. All right, guys, thank you so much for listening. Now,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: if you have not yet clicked the follow button, please do.
• 27:39
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• 28:04
  Speaker 2: forum that you go ahead over there because there's so
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: many beautiful conversations happening over there. Whenever we do Q
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: and a's that's what we ask the questions and we
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: get recommendations of guests and things that you guys want
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: to have onto.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: You know what I'd love you guys do if you
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: really loved any of our episodes, It's to screenshop the
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: episode and tag us on socials so we can see.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: I love re sharing when people do that, and I
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: love that as well. Yeah, it helps us to know
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: what you guys are really enjoying as well. So awesome.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: Thanks guys, We'll see you next week. By