Latest / What The Heck with Matt Bellassai / No Furries at the Ren Faire, No Influencers at the Tennis Faire?!

Transcript

No Furries at the Ren Faire, No Influencers at the Tennis Faire?! · What The Heck with Matt Bellassai

• 0:00
  Oh, I'm going to start square damn gushing because I saw a
• 0:02
  shirtless guy. This is kind of too horny of an
• 0:05
  episode. We're going to have to put some
• 0:06
  type of disclaimer at the beginning.
• 0:11
  Welcome back to what the heck with Matt Bellassai, a podcast
• 0:15
  about all the things that make me say what the heck, I'm your
• 0:18
  host, Matt Bellassai. Welcome to the podcast.
• 0:21
  What the heck is going on with me this week.
• 0:23
  Guess what, it is nearly robe season.
• 0:27
  We're very nearly in full blown robe season and I I for I could
• 0:31
  not be more excited. Thank you.
• 0:35
  I don't really know about the rest of of all of yous the
• 0:38
  hecklers. This summer has sort of been
• 0:41
  unlivable and like bordering on basically like fatal to all
• 0:46
  involved. So like every time I get home,
• 0:49
  basically during the summer, we're going Bush out.
• 0:51
  We're going Bush out. Oh, you know, 'cause I've been
• 0:54
  reading a lot about like medieval stuff and like doing so
• 0:59
  I'm, I'm kind of in my Elizabethan era at the moment.
• 1:02
  And I was reading this, I'm reading this book called
• 1:07
  couldn't tell you the title of it.
• 1:09
  If I'm being honest. It's something like how to be
• 1:12
  offensive in, in Tudor England or something like that.
• 1:15
  Or how to, it's all the ways in which people like how they
• 1:18
  swore, how they like. It's like you can learn a lot
• 1:21
  about our culture based on like what they turned their noses up
• 1:24
  at. The thing about pubes back in
• 1:27
  the day, we're getting right into it.
• 1:30
  YouTube is immediately going to demonetize this video.
• 1:34
  The thing about pubes is that, like, if if you had to shave
• 1:38
  your Bush in medieval times, it was because you had lice up in
• 1:42
  there. So, like, the reason?
• 1:44
  So it was like having a luscious full Bush was a sign of your
• 1:49
  good health. And but the way you would insult
• 1:51
  someone, you'd be like, she's she's got no thatch on her roof.
• 1:56
  Yeah. And that would basically be
• 1:57
  calling someone a dirty, stinking whore because this has
• 2:01
  been history with me. That's right, folks.
• 2:08
  We're bringing in the sound effects.
• 2:11
  But yeah, So I'm kind of loving that.
• 2:14
  And I've been thinking a lot about, like, bushes in that way
• 2:17
  and how it's like, yeah, having a full, luscious Bush is
• 2:20
  actually a sign of respect in this culture.
• 2:26
  Oh, my God. It's almost 911, too.
• 2:27
  Speaking of Bush, Yeah, a lot of people say like, call me Bush
• 2:33
  the way the way that her towers got me falling or something.
• 2:37
  That's not the saying whatsoever.
• 2:43
  It's like they call me 911 the way her Bush got my tower
• 2:47
  falling or something. But that's not even a euphemism.
• 2:54
  It's somewhere in there. It's like they they call me 911
• 2:58
  the way her Bush got me falling or something.
• 3:02
  Call me the twin Towers, the way her Bush has me collapsing.
• 3:06
  Sure, sure, sure. Sure.
• 3:08
  Anyway, the whole point of this was to say normally I'm going
• 3:12
  Bush out in the summer because it's too hot to be wearing
• 3:16
  clothes. But now we're getting very
• 3:18
  comfortably into robe season and I got a very comfortable robe.
• 3:21
  I think it was from Kohl's. I've had it forever.
• 3:25
  Got it with that Kohl's cash. And I've been Yeah.
• 3:30
  So I love, I love doing robe. You can you take a shower, you
• 3:33
  get into a cozy robe, get a get a nice hot mug of something,
• 3:38
  light up a a joint. This beautiful stuff is
• 3:41
  happening inside a robe. Anyway, it's robe season.
• 3:45
  I am pretty sleepy. Today I was I was feeling very
• 3:47
  robe. The robe was calling to me like
• 3:49
  the green goblin mask earlier and I had to say no, I have to
• 3:53
  be awake. I'm trying to adopt more of like
• 3:55
  a just do it sleepy attitude. You know, it's like I feel like
• 4:00
  a lot of times I get sleepy and I say, we're canceling
• 4:03
  everything. Clear my desk, clear my
• 4:06
  schedule. It's time to sleep and now I
• 4:09
  think I need to embrace more of a just do it sleepy attitude,
• 4:13
  even if it's kind of half assed. We're doing it sleepy, Bill
• 4:16
  O'Reilly, we're doing it sleepy. You know that clip of Bill
• 4:20
  O'Reilly where he's like, we're doing it live.
• 4:24
  What a terrible person. But yeah, I'm just trying to
• 4:30
  embrace the like, you know, doing it.
• 4:33
  I feel like I need to embrace like self help culture
• 4:35
  essentially. I'm trying to embrace the cringe
• 4:37
  a little bit more. I am a millennial.
• 4:40
  I can't escape my culture. It is deep within me.
• 4:43
  And ultimately I worked at the millennial person factory.
• 4:47
  I worked at BuzzFeed for several years.
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  It's like I can't, the stink of millennial is just in my skin.
• 4:52
  I can't scrub it out. I need to embrace that, embrace
• 4:56
  the cringe, much like alien hero Ray Gun.
• 5:00
  Would you remember Ray Gun? Of course.
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  Ray Gun the breakdancer, the Australian breakdancer.
• 5:07
  This weekend I watched Netflix has a documentary about Ray Gun.
• 5:12
  Listen, why they have a documentary about Ray Gun?
• 5:15
  Couldn't tell you. I watched it.
• 5:16
  They got me with it. So if you forgot, Ray Gun was
• 5:20
  that Australian breakdancer who turns out can't breakdance to
• 5:24
  save her life. Somehow she qualified for the
• 5:26
  Olympics and within the course of like 72 hours in 2024.
• 5:31
  Also can't believe it was 2024. What are you telling me this
• 5:34
  woman that happened 20 years ago?
• 5:36
  Actually Ray Gun was from 2024. It's basically still 2024.
• 5:42
  What are you talking about? It's almost 2027, but like, so
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  Ray Gun at the 2024 Olympics, she competed for the first time.
• 5:51
  They had the sport of break dancing and she competed and was
• 5:56
  like pretty terrible at break dancing and became kind of like
• 6:00
  a global laughingstock over the course of 72 hours.
• 6:03
  And so, yeah, they made a documentary about her and kind
• 6:06
  of how she's how she's doing. It was, it was kind of a rough
• 6:11
  watch, mostly because she was not, she did not regret what
• 6:16
  happened enough. I don't think she showed enough
• 6:18
  humility like, and then her husband was so basically the
• 6:22
  whole thing was like, you know, she was, she was doing like her
• 6:25
  thesis on break dancing. And then she decided to like
• 6:29
  compete and then qualified for the Olympics.
• 6:32
  I guess the day of the, like, qualifiers, she just happened to
• 6:37
  be the best person. It's very obvious that she's not
• 6:40
  good at break dancing. And I think any, like objective
• 6:44
  person would see what she's doing and say, this is not
• 6:48
  Olympic worthy. Girl, what are we talking about?
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  And so she was sort of playing on like, you know, if a man did
• 6:55
  these moves, like, I don't, I don't know if the world would
• 6:58
  have reacted that way. And it was like, sweetie,
• 7:01
  listen, I know I'm a man kind of talking patronizingly to you and
• 7:06
  almost kind of proving your point.
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  But we, we need to get real with ourselves.
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  You scored zero points at the Olympics in a, in a ultimately
• 7:15
  what is a made-up sport? But then they had this woman,
• 7:17
  this other woman who's sort of ragging on her from like the
• 7:20
  Australian break dancing community.
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  And they only had one person as like the, the voice of the
• 7:27
  critics in the break dancing community.
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  And I'm like, well, where's everybody else?
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  I think it's very obvious that there are like no break dancers
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  in Australia. And that's why she she like kind
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  of rose to the top. The whole point was that like
• 7:43
  she really was embracing the cringe at a very real way.
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  And I guess I'm going kind of 180 now because I'm like, why am
• 7:50
  I using her as an example of embracing the cringe after I
• 7:53
  just kind of dogged on her for not realizing how cringy she
• 7:56
  was. So I'm going to have to kind of
• 7:58
  rethink that in my head. I don't, I really know what my
• 8:02
  point is, but I don't know. I think she's, she is cringe and
• 8:06
  she is free, you know, and I think she's embraced it in a
• 8:10
  kind of beautiful way that ultimately I can't respect, but
• 8:13
  I do. And she does inspire me.
• 8:17
  So for that reason, I would like to thank Netflix for making that
• 8:20
  documentary. You have changed my life in a
• 8:23
  positive way. I also watched Practical Magic
• 8:29
  for the first time in a in a while.
• 8:33
  Thank you. It's kind of a terrible movie.
• 8:36
  It's not. The clothes are amazing.
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  No one's saying the clothes aren't great.
• 8:40
  The aesthetics are great, yeah. The.
• 8:42
  Movie itself. Pretty terrible.
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  I was like, 'cause I'm sure when I was younger I watched that
• 8:50
  movie. I think I was a scared, which is
• 8:53
  kind of the problem with the movie is it's like kind of has
• 8:57
  very adult moments, but then it's also like kind of for
• 9:01
  children. It's a very confusing tone of
• 9:04
  this movie. I don't understand why anybody's
• 9:07
  doing anything. It's kind of funny because I
• 9:10
  don't know when it came out, the 90s, late 90s.
• 9:14
  Yeah. And it's like the, if you really
• 9:17
  don't know the plot of, of practical magic, it's this
• 9:20
  family of witches who every man that they fall in love with
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  dies. And it's kind of like a very 90s
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  moral, which is like the worst thing that can happen to a woman
• 9:32
  is that she can't love a man. And it's like, OK, you could
• 9:37
  just choose to be single to spare your entire bloodline.
• 9:42
  You are just like be getting more people who are cursed, but
• 9:48
  and then so they knowingly fall in love with people knowing that
• 9:51
  that will kill them just because they want to be happy.
• 9:55
  And it's like, yeah, you can be happy.
• 9:57
  Buy a vibrator, buy a vibrator and then like don't kill a bunch
• 10:02
  of people. I don't understand.
• 10:04
  I also don't I don't know. There's just a whole bunch of
• 10:06
  questions that I have about that film.
• 10:09
  Kind of am shocked that it had the cultural impact that it did.
• 10:12
  And now we're getting a sequel. Maybe the sequel will be
• 10:15
  amazing. We'll see.
• 10:16
  Lee Pace is in it. I'll go see Lee Pace in
• 10:19
  anything. Yeah.
• 10:21
  I'm pretty sure he's like one of the leads he.
• 10:23
  Better not die. He probably is going to die.
• 10:26
  I think I do love Lee. Yeah.
• 10:29
  They, I mean, spoiler alert, they kind of break the curse at
• 10:32
  the end of the first movie just by being like, I don't know why
• 10:35
  I broke the curse with this guy. I guess it just didn't matter
• 10:38
  with him. That's kind of the end of the
• 10:40
  movie. I'm like, why don't you talk
• 10:43
  about your own logic? Doesn't make any fucking sense.
• 10:46
  But yeah, I do want to see, I mean, Lee Pace.
• 10:48
  I will watch Lee Pace in anything.
• 10:50
  He's a beautiful, gorgeous man. And I saw his Dick once on
• 10:55
  stage, so I'd cut a hole in the locker room.
• 11:01
  No, he was in Angels in America, and he got fully naked on stage.
• 11:05
  And I said yes, I will be seated with my binoculars.
• 11:10
  Anyway, that's kind of what's been going on with me
• 11:13
  personally, just to think about robes, think about Lee Pace's
• 11:16
  Dick and trying to emulate Ray Gun.
• 11:22
  Moving on to what the heck is happening this week, All the
• 11:25
  stuff around the world that's making me go what the heck?
• 11:29
  The Renaissance Fair in Maryland is at the center of some
• 11:34
  controversy because they decided to ban furries.
• 11:40
  A lot of people are upset. Oh oh so I guess you can't put a
• 11:46
  put a butt plug tail up your asshole and prance around prance
• 11:50
  around a public park anymore. I guess that's not allowed.
• 11:54
  Oh so I can't put on my fur suit my my wolf suit that's got 8
• 11:58
  giant furry tits on it and go to a jousting match because of
• 12:03
  fascism? I guess you can't do anything in
• 12:06
  this country anymore. Yeah.
• 12:09
  So basically they banned specifically fur suits.
• 12:14
  This was their way around it. They said we're just banning fur
• 12:16
  suits. It's part of our policy of not
• 12:19
  covering up your face. You have to have a removable
• 12:23
  face covering. If your face is covered in some
• 12:25
  way, it has to be removable, at least for the Maryland
• 12:28
  Renaissance Fair. But it said our decision to
• 12:30
  specifically prohibit fur suits is based on repeated incidents
• 12:33
  with patrons wearing said costumes at the festival.
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  They accuse them of behaviors that have made other patrons
• 12:42
  uncomfortable, unauthorized performances and the open
• 12:47
  refusal to respect or cooperate with festival staff, security
• 12:50
  and first aid. First aid.
• 12:55
  I'm like, what is the Lord? What happened?
• 12:58
  Someone did something that they're not telling us, and now
• 13:02
  furries aren't allowed in Maryland.
• 13:04
  I guess the furry community is like, deeply upset I guess.
• 13:09
  It was really heartbreaking. Furries are banned from this
• 13:12
  year's Maryland Renaissance Festival.
• 13:13
  There are individuals wearing stormtrooper outfits.
• 13:17
  There are people wearing Spider Man costumes.
• 13:20
  By the way, this man is in a full fox fox mask with his hair
• 13:24
  sticking out. Spider Man, then it feels a
• 13:28
  little bit of a targeted there's a perception that the hobby is
• 13:31
  inherently sexual and that that kind of thing shouldn't be
• 13:34
  allowed in a family friendly environment.
• 13:35
  Certainly the media does love to portray the furry community as
• 13:40
  very sexually enthusiastic. Furries are so fascinating to me
• 13:44
  as a culture in that I don't understand it whatsoever.
• 13:49
  Kind of like not a single part of it makes sense to me.
• 13:52
  And yeah, I will kink shame on this podcast.
• 13:55
  Famously, I am a kink shamer. Some of you are doing stuff that
• 13:58
  deserves to be stone, stoneable. Stoneable offenses.
• 14:04
  No, don't stone people who are into like fisting or whatever,
• 14:07
  They're doing it to themselves. Generally speaking, my attitude
• 14:10
  towards any kink is just like, as long as you're not hurting,
• 14:14
  as long as everybody is consenting and nobody else is is
• 14:18
  getting hurt, then do whatever you want.
• 14:21
  I don't, I don't care. But I'm, I'm gonna judge you.
• 14:25
  I am gonna judge you. I'm like, yeah, there's
• 14:28
  something is going on that needs to be addressed, but the
• 14:32
  question is sort of like what is, what is happening with furry
• 14:37
  specifically? Is it like, is it a sexual thing
• 14:40
  'cause it's like, I guess, I guess there are like subsections
• 14:43
  of furry culture where like they're not actually sexual.
• 14:47
  Some of them just enjoy putting on like a costume.
• 14:50
  But like, what is the difference between that?
• 14:52
  And just like like the Easter Bunny is, it is whoever's in the
• 14:56
  Easter Bunny suit a furry. I don't know what's happening.
• 15:01
  One of my favorite tik toks about this whole scenario was
• 15:03
  this girl being like, you can't be a loser and discriminate
• 15:07
  against other losers. It's like, what are you talking
• 15:10
  about? Everyone attending the
• 15:12
  Renaissance Fair is, is no better than a furry.
• 15:17
  Just like in the kind of social hierarchy, everyone there is a
• 15:20
  fucking nerd and weirdo, myself included, 'cause we will be
• 15:24
  going this week and I'll let you know what happens.
• 15:28
  I, as far as I know, I think furries are allowed at the New
• 15:31
  York Renaissance Fair. So if I spot any of them, I'll
• 15:35
  let you know first hand. You'll be getting the, you'll be
• 15:38
  getting it straight from the source.
• 15:40
  But yeah, I'm kind of like still confused about what furries
• 15:43
  actually are and like what they believe in and whether there is
• 15:45
  sort of a uniting ethos that they share.
• 15:50
  I don't really know. I, I does seem like it is sexual
• 15:55
  in nature, but I guess it's not. I I think it just happens to
• 15:59
  overlap. The people who are comfortable
• 16:01
  going out in that, in that type of, you know, attire are, are
• 16:07
  also just kind of freaky in the bedroom.
• 16:09
  I don't know what's happening. The other thing that I, I don't
• 16:12
  really know much about that I don't want to wade into because
• 16:15
  the gays haven't fully covered this discourse is the whole like
• 16:19
  pup community. Are you aware of this?
• 16:22
  Sure. I'm not Oh my God, it's kind of
• 16:25
  amazing that like the things that I know just by being a gay
• 16:29
  guy, the things that like I have been downloaded into my my
• 16:34
  subconscious as by nature of being homosexual.
• 16:38
  So OK, there are there are people.
• 16:40
  I it's, I don't think it related to fursonas.
• 16:44
  It's it's sort of related to the leather community, but it's like
• 16:49
  guys who wear like they call themselves pups and they wear
• 16:53
  like leather fashioned like masks that have like puppy sort
• 17:00
  of like snouts and stuff. And then sometimes they're also
• 17:03
  like putting a tail up inside of them.
• 17:05
  And so it's kind of like a butt plug that has a tail attached to
• 17:08
  it situation. But then they're also doing like
• 17:10
  harnesses and it's kind of related to the leather
• 17:12
  community, but it's like a kink, but also people are like going
• 17:15
  out in public and I think they like get off on like being in
• 17:19
  public with a pup mask on. And I guess it's related to like
• 17:23
  kind of sub and doms and like it's there is something that
• 17:27
  people get off on with having a with like people kind of looking
• 17:33
  at you and judging you. Someone is furiously jerking off
• 17:37
  to my judgement right now. And so I'm actually doing a
• 17:40
  service to the community. I'm not king shaming.
• 17:43
  I I am king shaming, but I am doing it for the people who get
• 17:47
  off on me. Kick shaming, if that makes
• 17:49
  sense. Anyway, I think I've sort of
• 17:52
  said enough about all that. I was watching a video once and
• 17:56
  I saw this person had a fur suit.
• 18:00
  Let me clarify the type of video.
• 18:04
  I was like, I don't have to do the whole setup.
• 18:05
  I think I do actually. I've been watching a lot of that
• 18:09
  show. Interior motives.
• 18:10
  Love, love that show. Ben have me on the show.
• 18:15
  Ben Mora has this YouTube show where people submit photos of
• 18:18
  their bedrooms and he you have to guess whether they are, what
• 18:24
  their sexuality is, what their gender is, where they live and
• 18:27
  how old they are just based on photos of their bedroom and
• 18:30
  hints like what's in their fridge and stuff.
• 18:33
  And there was one person who submitted who was a furry and
• 18:39
  when it got to the reveal of them, their fur costume was a
• 18:43
  capybara. And I they did not spend enough
• 18:47
  time talking about the fact that someone chose us as their
• 18:50
  fursona a capybara. I'm like, I haven't stopped
• 18:55
  thinking about it since then. Shout out to that person.
• 18:59
  I I don't know how much of my audience overlaps with the
• 19:01
  interior motive audience, If that underneath that capybara
• 19:06
  costume is a Heckler but obsessed with you, concern for
• 19:11
  you. But also I yeah, I love that you
• 19:14
  said, yeah, I'm joining this weird ass community and I'm
• 19:16
  going to make one of the weirder choices within that community.
• 19:20
  Beautiful. Next, I've heard enough about
• 19:28
  the US Open frankly, I, I'm I've I've had it up to here with
• 19:32
  tennis. Show me photos of their asses.
• 19:35
  I'll take video of them. There was that one video of the
• 19:38
  guy who was like one of the ball boys and for some reason he was
• 19:41
  like in full doggy position. He was like how does why are
• 19:45
  they doing that? They have to like look at the
• 19:47
  ground and they. Have to be ready.
• 19:48
  You have to Sprint. Ball boy culture is very
• 19:51
  fascinating to me 'cause you're kind of like the little bitch of
• 19:54
  the US Open and they're, they're allowed to basically abuse you,
• 19:57
  I think. And you have to just like toss
• 19:59
  it. But also there it's like just
• 20:01
  kind of neppo babies who do it. Do they only pick like young
• 20:04
  nubile virgins essentially? I love that video of the one
• 20:08
  little kid, not a kid. It's like a teenage boy I think
• 20:12
  who like is running back to his spot and he accidentally trips
• 20:16
  and just smashes into the side. Let me just look at that ball
• 20:20
  boy, this kid, I'm obsessed with this kid.
• 20:24
  He runs back and then bam. And the tennis player, I don't
• 20:32
  know who this guy is, looks back and like shakes his head at the
• 20:35
  kid for making noise. Meanwhile, his like nose and
• 20:39
  cheek are broken anyway. But yeah, so the US Open has
• 20:43
  been ongoing. It's been happening for, I don't
• 20:45
  know, weeks at this point. I every day, it's like every day
• 20:49
  there's more and more games happening and there's more and
• 20:54
  more matches happening. Everything I know about tennis I
• 20:57
  learned from Mario Tennis and Challengers the movie, which
• 21:03
  frankly is everything that most gay guys know about tennis
• 21:07
  actually that's I feel like gay guys are actually really into
• 21:09
  tennis, like genuinely into tennis.
• 21:12
  And I'm telling you, I mean, the asses are a lot of the times
• 21:15
  very compelling stuff and tennis shorts are a very particular
• 21:19
  fabric that is kind of doing it for me.
• 21:23
  And again, Challengers does does weigh a lot in that they were
• 21:29
  doing stuff with tennis shorts and churros in that movie.
• 21:32
  That kind of changed my whole world view.
• 21:36
  That being said, obviously one of the big topics of the US Open
• 21:39
  this year is the group of influencers who kind of got
• 21:42
  shushed by the the umpire. What do you call the person at
• 21:47
  the on the on the wheelchair? The lifeguard referee, that's
• 21:51
  just the judge or the referee. There was a video of Naomi
• 21:56
  Osaka. She was, she was saying how like
• 21:59
  I guess she heard the influencer moment.
• 22:01
  But also, just like she's never had an umpire or referee, she's
• 22:08
  never had to, like she's never heard the the referee have to
• 22:11
  say more times for people to shut up.
• 22:15
  And it's like, I think people want to blame the influencers
• 22:17
  when it's like, I think this is an everybody problem.
• 22:20
  Like nobody has respect anymore. Not to be get off my lawn about
• 22:23
  it, but like nobody has respect anymore.
• 22:26
  Because here's the thing, I do not identify as an influencer.
• 22:30
  I think there are influencer like activities that I partake
• 22:34
  in. Me trying to distance myself
• 22:38
  from the community. No, I mean maybe I should
• 22:42
  identify more as an influencer as proof that you can be a good
• 22:45
  influencer. I thought you were.
• 22:47
  Saying because you're embracing cringe.
• 22:49
  That's true also because I'm embracing cringe, but I'm like,
• 22:52
  I, I just like to this day cannot get past the cringiness
• 22:59
  of like just turning a camera on yourself and talking in public.
• 23:06
  And it's funny because I feel like so much of the content that
• 23:10
  I see on Tiktok is people trying to, people who are being
• 23:15
  inspirational for other people. Like it's OK to like be cringe
• 23:18
  in public. They're like encouraging people
• 23:21
  to like, get over that. That's the content that I'm
• 23:24
  getting is like how to gain confidence as an influencer.
• 23:30
  But I'm like, I just get like, I think it's OK to be like, you
• 23:34
  should feel shame about that. Like part of me, part of me is
• 23:37
  like, no, you have to get over the shame in order to do like,
• 23:39
  this is what life is now. Just get over it.
• 23:43
  But the other part of me is like, no, you should feel shame.
• 23:46
  And that was kind of the debate I was having with one of my
• 23:48
  friends who was like, I so there was this group of influencers
• 23:52
  that was like very loudly filming a video while the
• 23:56
  players were on stage. And they were, you know,
• 24:01
  basically the referee had to be like, you got to shut up.
• 24:04
  And as someone who has never been to a tennis match, learned
• 24:08
  everything from Mario Tennis and Challengers, I know like, you
• 24:13
  need to shut up during tennis. It's a quiet thing.
• 24:17
  But one of my friends was like, I think it's more on like the
• 24:21
  brands that brought the influencers there to have to
• 24:24
  kind of lay out the rules and say like, no, this is a quiet
• 24:27
  sport. Like make sure if you're filming
• 24:29
  stuff, you know, you have to be quiet and respectful.
• 24:34
  Part of me is like, do you need a brand to tell you that, like,
• 24:37
  read the room a little bit if everybody else is quiet while
• 24:41
  tennis is playing and then you start loudly making a video and
• 24:44
  like turning a Ring camera on maybe, you know, take take the
• 24:48
  hint and shut up. But the other part of me is
• 24:51
  like, yeah, I mean, they were, they were hired to be there and
• 24:55
  they were doing the job that they were hired to do in order
• 24:59
  to bring more people to the US Open to, like, you know, create
• 25:02
  that culture that that the US Open has become.
• 25:06
  And so, you know, can you blame them for just doing their jobs?
• 25:11
  I mean, yes, I do. Everybody just needs to shut up.
• 25:15
  Everybody needs to shut up. Be quiet, be respectful.
• 25:18
  Read the room. I think is the is the major
• 25:21
  lesson. Read the room.
• 25:22
  Influencers should feel a little more shame than they do.
• 25:25
  Maybe I meet in the middle here. Influencers should feel some
• 25:30
  shame anyway. Next, Speaking of influencers
• 25:34
  who we need to to lift up in the world, are you familiar with
• 25:39
  Dolores the hot dog bun lady? No, tell me more, I need to
• 25:42
  know. More right now.
• 25:44
  So this is sort of taking over my entire TikTok feed, but I
• 25:48
  it's one of those things where I'm like, you sound like a
• 25:50
  literal insane person if you try to describe it to literally
• 25:53
  anybody. OK, so this one woman posted
• 25:57
  this video saying look at my perfect hot dog.
• 26:02
  And it objectively, it was an absolutely stunning, beautiful
• 26:06
  hot dog, one of the most perfect hot dogs I've ever seen.
• 26:08
  Actually, she it was perfect shape, perfect bun to hot dog
• 26:13
  ratio. Are you looking at it?
• 26:15
  Yeah, perfect glistening hot dog.
• 26:18
  The top comment, which I think eventually got 20 million likes
• 26:24
  as a comment, was a woman named Dolores who said no fat shit.
• 26:29
  But that's those Martin's potato buns, aren't they?
• 26:34
  Immediately everybody was like, damn, Dolores knows the
• 26:37
  government name of this particular brand of hot dog bun.
• 26:43
  She was dead on. She was dead on but it just
• 26:47
  became this huge meme on TikTok of people like absolutely
• 26:51
  obsessed that Dolores knew the like serial number of this
• 26:55
  particular brand of potato hot dog buns.
• 26:59
  Like I saw Shake Shack posting a video about Dolores.
• 27:04
  But the crazy thing is the the woman who made the original so
• 27:08
  Dolores comment got like 20 million likes.
• 27:11
  The woman who originally posted the glistening hot dog is pissed
• 27:16
  off at Dolores for getting all of these likes and like the
• 27:20
  attention and not her original video.
• 27:23
  And so she deleted the video and has been making all of these
• 27:28
  videos being like, I'm like, all these brands are like talking
• 27:32
  about Dolores and not me who posted the video.
• 27:36
  And it's like, yeah, but it was Dolores comment that made the
• 27:40
  video what it was. Yes, you had a beautiful hot
• 27:42
  dog. No one's denying that.
• 27:44
  But like, Dolores comment is what elevated it to true art.
• 27:48
  OK. And we have to respect that.
• 27:49
  And so now Dolores is kind of getting all the attention and
• 27:53
  she's doing, she's posting a lot about it.
• 27:56
  And yeah, she's a true, she's a true eater, which I do think has
• 28:03
  other connotations. That word when you say someone's
• 28:06
  an eater, I don't actually know. OK, I hear it use.
• 28:11
  I'm like I don't know if calling someone an eater means that they
• 28:14
  eat ass or if they are like into eating like like eating food as
• 28:23
  like a kink. Well, Urban Dictionary defines
• 28:26
  Eater as a person who performs a lot of oral sex.
• 28:30
  Right. Totally forgot about straight
• 28:32
  sex or gay or or vaginas for a second.
• 28:35
  Absolutely did forget about vaginas and that you do call it
• 28:39
  eating. I'm going to bleep that because
• 28:42
  I don't even like myself saying it, but totally forgot about
• 28:47
  that as a sexual move. That's what it that's actually
• 28:50
  what it means. Moving on the point of shout out
• 28:54
  to Dolores. She was doing great work.
• 28:56
  Don't let him get you down. Dolores.
• 28:58
  You had a beautiful comment, but it made TikTok history and that
• 29:03
  other lady needs to chill out a little bit.
• 29:06
  And like, I think it has reached a point where people are
• 29:10
  capitalizing on on one TikTok as, like, this is my 15 seconds.
• 29:16
  And it's like, you're going to have to do a little bit more
• 29:18
  than one viral TikTok to, like, cash in on your viral moment.
• 29:24
  Next, there's this mysterious animal that keeps attacking
• 29:28
  people in New Hampshire. Are you familiar?
• 29:31
  Yeah, here's this. Here's what I'm talking about.
• 29:35
  It a mystery in Lebanon, NH tonight, a small grey something
• 29:39
  or another is chasing and biting people.
• 29:41
  This is speed up surveillance video showing one of the
• 29:44
  attacks. It's the third of its kind,
• 29:45
  police say. Among the theories of what it
• 29:48
  could be a rabid Fisher cat or maybe a rabid grey fox.
• 29:52
  Either way, if you see it, don't touch it.
• 29:56
  So the video is, the video is of a guy in the middle of an
• 30:01
  otherwise empty parking lot, a single U-Haul truck, and he is
• 30:06
  running around it while this Gray animal attacks it.
• 30:11
  And it's like what do you mean? If you see it, don't touch it.
• 30:15
  That thing came out of nowhere and just started mauling this
• 30:18
  man. Also, it's like the size of a
• 30:20
  squirrel, basically. So yeah, I mean, it's like a
• 30:23
  small animal, but also what is we call it a fish.
• 30:27
  Fish phlox or fish or cat? Fish or cat.
• 30:31
  A Fisher cat. Never heard of a fish or cat
• 30:34
  before. I think it's apparently it's
• 30:36
  like some type of feral weasel. I don't, I don't really.
• 30:40
  I mean, I it's. Not a cat at all.
• 30:44
  No, it's not. It has nothing to do with it.
• 30:46
  A cat. But I'm like, I didn't even know
• 30:48
  this is an animal that I didn't even know existed 24 hours ago.
• 30:51
  And now I have to be on the lookout for something called a
• 30:53
  Fisher cat that will apparently like rip your rip your ankles
• 30:57
  off. And I don't know, I don't know
• 30:59
  what their deal is. They're just pissed off at
• 31:01
  stuff, I guess. What are we talking about?
• 31:05
  You just have to be aware of an animal that like will come out
• 31:07
  of fucking nowhere. This is why everybody in
• 31:09
  medieval times were like seeing mythical creatures all over.
• 31:13
  So it's like, what are you supposed to do when a fucking
• 31:16
  fish or cat comes out of the woods and starts eating up your
• 31:18
  shit? It's some type of demon that
• 31:22
  obviously that's the work of the devil.
• 31:24
  I do love the rodent community. Ultimately, I'm friendly with
• 31:28
  them. You know, I don't trust those
• 31:31
  little creatures that I didn't know about.
• 31:33
  Then there was this lady to to speak on another issue that was
• 31:37
  attacked at Lake Tahoe by an Otter.
• 31:41
  I just felt something grab me by my leg and pull me under and it
• 31:45
  was so powerful. I felt like it was a human.
• 31:48
  That's how Lynette Bellin described what it was like being
• 31:51
  attacked by an Otter here at Lake Tahoe near Hidden Beach in
• 31:55
  Nevada. Then I turned around and this
• 31:57
  Otter just started coming after me, teeth and claws.
• 32:02
  And you know, my only thought was like, I got to get away from
• 32:06
  this, but it kept following me and I.
• 32:09
  Yeah, so this woman, the video of her is her with literally
• 32:12
  scars all over her face. She, I, I, there was another
• 32:15
  video that I watched in the aftermath.
• 32:17
  She took like a selfie video and she was literally like bleeding
• 32:21
  from her face. This, this Otter fucked this
• 32:24
  lady up and it's like, oh, everybody loves otters, don't
• 32:29
  they? Oh, they're so cute.
• 32:30
  They hold hands when they sleep. That's everybody's fucking fun
• 32:33
  fact on Hinge. Oh, what's 1?
• 32:35
  What's 1 random fact that you love otters hold hands when they
• 32:39
  sleep. Shut the fuck up.
• 32:41
  Everybody knows that. That's not a random fact
• 32:43
  anymore. Oh, wombats have cube sized
• 32:46
  shit. We know not cube cube shaped
• 32:53
  wombats. Did not know that poop.
• 32:56
  Cubes, I don't know, they have some type of like square shaped
• 32:59
  butthole I guess. I don't really know why they're
• 33:03
  pooping cubes, but like crazy shit is happening in Australia.
• 33:08
  Anyway, that's it for what the heck is happening this week.
• 33:12
  Stay safe out there folks. You don't.
• 33:15
  You got to be worried about a lot of stuff.
• 33:17
  Influencers, fish or cats. Dolores commenting on your
• 33:22
  video, Stay safe. Oh, right, it's time for the
• 33:33
  What the heck hotline. You've reached the what the heck
• 33:39
  hotline. What the heck do you want?
• 33:43
  The what the heck hotline? Of course, the number that any
• 33:45
  of you can call to leave at your what the heck of the week.
• 33:48
  The thing that's making you say what the heck Four O 7.
• 33:51
  WTH Matt? Let's hear this week's caller.
• 33:56
  My current What the heck is Why are soft pretzels only at the
• 33:59
  mall? What the heck?
• 34:01
  Soft pretzels are maybe the greatest thing ever created by
• 34:03
  human hands. They are delicious, they are
• 34:06
  incredible, and I wish they were on these streets.
• 34:08
  But no, I have to go to hell. I have to go into the 7th level
• 34:11
  of hell to get a soft pretzel. I wish my favorite treat was
• 34:14
  accessible outside of a place where almost exclusively 13 year
• 34:17
  olds go on their first date. What the heck?
• 34:20
  Why can't they get a soft pretzel outside of the mall?
• 34:23
  Yes, that is incredibly true. I don't know if this was
• 34:27
  inspired by the baked baking video that I did this week it.
• 34:31
  Was before and I got so. Excited Wow, you.
• 34:33
  I also had soft pretzels on the mind and I homemade some Auntie
• 34:37
  Anne soft pretzels in my own kitchen 'cause I was like, I'm
• 34:40
  not going to the mall for sure. There is an Auntie Anne's nearby
• 34:44
  and they they do. I mean not to kind of Fact Check
• 34:47
  our listener. I appreciate the energy that you
• 34:49
  brought to this call. I think your heart is in the
• 34:51
  right place. I do think factually you are
• 34:53
  wrong. I do think factually there are
• 34:56
  sort of several places that you can buy a soft pretzel.
• 34:58
  I mean, granted, soft pretzels are almost exclusively in the
• 35:03
  worst places on earth. That's the problem.
• 35:05
  It's not just malls, but they're also in the airport also.
• 35:09
  Auntie Anne's just like has a chokehold on the soft pretzel
• 35:12
  industry. It's like no one else is allowed
• 35:14
  to have it. No, I think when you think
• 35:16
  pretzels, you think Auntie Anne soft pretzels, you think Auntie
• 35:20
  Anne. Here's the thing, I don't really
• 35:21
  know much about business, so I can't really speak on the Auntie
• 35:26
  Anne business plan because I would like to say, OK, Auntie
• 35:29
  Anne, you need to be opening up establishments outside of malls.
• 35:33
  But like, is anybody going to drive to just an Auntie Anne
• 35:38
  shop? I mean, clearly we have fans in
• 35:41
  this room, yes, but is anybody just going to pull up to an
• 35:45
  Auntie Anne's if they're only getting a soft pretzel?
• 35:47
  The thing that they would have to do is start introducing other
• 35:51
  items, full blown meals and stuff that however, I'm opposed
• 35:54
  to. I don't like when a when a place
• 35:57
  specializes in one thing and then they start trying to do
• 36:00
  something else that they have no business doing.
• 36:03
  No, This is why. I mean, this is in part fueled
• 36:07
  by the fact that I for many people, a Dairy Queen is like a
• 36:12
  fast food option. For me growing up, we only had a
• 36:16
  treat. Dairy Queen.
• 36:19
  Isn't it called like treat only? But then some of them have like
• 36:22
  burgers and French fries and I'm like, who are you people who are
• 36:26
  eating at Dairy Queen food from Dairy Queen?
• 36:30
  Dairy Queen is for ice cream, famously, and nothing else.
• 36:34
  What do you mean you're you're making burgers at Dairy Queen?
• 36:37
  That's not what that place is for.
• 36:39
  They shouldn't even have that equipment in that establishment.
• 36:42
  No. And then And then what do you
• 36:44
  eat? You're getting a full meal, but
• 36:46
  then you're also getting a Blizzard with it.
• 36:48
  And then the Blizzard is melting while you're eating your burger.
• 36:50
  You're pissing me off. Don't piss me off.
• 36:58
  Sure. Yeah, I did get Shake Shack over
• 37:01
  the weekend 'cause I I was riding my bike little bit
• 37:04
  stoned. I shouldn't have been riding a
• 37:06
  bike. And I was riding my bike and I
• 37:09
  rode past someone was barbecuing and it, it's those fumes wafted
• 37:16
  over like a skunk in a cartoon. I don't know why I chose skunk
• 37:21
  as as instead of like a pie on a window sill, but I floated
• 37:26
  towards that BBQ smell. Yeah, like a cartoon character.
• 37:30
  I was like, I need Shake Shack. They're doing great stuff.
• 37:34
  Shake Shack. They have some type of peanut
• 37:36
  butter shake that I do think will kill you.
• 37:41
  Sometimes an establishment like Shake Shack will post about like
• 37:45
  a milkshake that they make a special one and they're adding
• 37:49
  stuff that will absolutely blow someone from the face of the
• 37:52
  earth. I don't understand what is
• 37:55
  happening culinarily at Shake Shack when it comes to their
• 38:00
  their shakes. Famously, it's in the title.
• 38:03
  I kind of forgot that until just now.
• 38:05
  It's one of their titular offerings 'cause I've never
• 38:09
  really wanted to get a milk. There's something I think that I
• 38:11
  kind of judge a milkshake especially.
• 38:14
  Like, no, this is not a popular opinion whatsoever, but I'm
• 38:20
  like, you are just drinking ice cream.
• 38:23
  That's crazy. There isn't.
• 38:25
  You have to admit, just objectively, even if you're the
• 38:27
  biggest milkshake defender in the world, you have to admit
• 38:30
  that that is some crazy shit that you're just slurping up a
• 38:33
  milkshake. You're slurping up like a pint
• 38:36
  of ice cream as a side for a burger and French fries.
• 38:41
  That is nuts what McDonald's has done to us.
• 38:45
  But, I mean, you know, every so often I feel like, yeah, that's
• 38:48
  why I think, Wendy, shout out to redheads, shout out to my, my
• 38:53
  sister. She is doing Frosty, which I
• 38:57
  think is beautiful. Yeah.
• 38:58
  Is it effectively the same thing as a milkshake but just a little
• 39:01
  bit harder? Yeah.
• 39:03
  But there's something about that that I can get behind that.
• 39:05
  Like a milkshake is sort of like what is happening.
• 39:09
  And then I don't even know what the fuck a malt is.
• 39:11
  Don't get me started on that. What the fuck is a malt?
• 39:14
  It's got malt in it. I don't like that.
• 39:18
  I don't really understand malt. Anyway, shout out to Auntie
• 39:21
  Anne. She is doing beautiful stuff.
• 39:23
  I hope she's getting her. I hope she's getting a Miss
• 39:26
  Auntie Anne. And I do think, yeah, I agree.
• 39:31
  We need more of them. The the one thing that I love,
• 39:34
  and I think more places should be doing this, The Auntie Anne
• 39:36
  truck. Sometimes you see the Auntie
• 39:38
  Anne truck that drives around, you know, and they're, they're,
• 39:42
  they're bringing Auntie Anne's to the people.
• 39:44
  Those trucks moving on to my what?
• 39:53
  The hecks of the week, all the stuff that's making me say, what
• 39:56
  the heck, 1st. And it's kind of recently come
• 40:02
  to my attention that a number of Formula One race car drivers
• 40:06
  are, in fact, pieces of ass. What?
• 40:13
  OK, so piece of ass is sort of a slang term for hot as fuck.
• 40:19
  Yeah, you're a piece of ass. You didn't know that race car
• 40:22
  drivers were. Hot.
• 40:24
  No. Wow.
• 40:25
  You're welcome. So here's the thing.
• 40:27
  I sort of in my American mind, race car driving is NASCAR,
• 40:33
  right? NASCAR, I don't know if has the
• 40:35
  best reputation in terms of like fuckable people driving those
• 40:40
  cars. NASCAR has a certain reputation
• 40:43
  culturally, I think where it's kind of, you know, people with
• 40:46
  one tooth who are who are you like yelling at at a race track
• 40:51
  and hoping for crash. Then I sort of learned about
• 40:53
  something called Formula One. Formula One is like European
• 40:57
  driving and they're driving all types of fast cars over there.
• 41:01
  All of the Formula One drivers are like the hottest person that
• 41:04
  you've ever seen. And I recently learned this and
• 41:09
  I'm sort of like shook about this information because why do
• 41:13
  you have to be such a piece of ass to drive around a car?
• 41:16
  I don't understand. Because it's like, you know,
• 41:19
  with every other sport, sport I'm using loosely with every
• 41:23
  other sport, you know, there is a certain kind of physicality to
• 41:27
  it that is giving you an athlete's body.
• 41:30
  You don't have to be looking like that to drive a car.
• 41:33
  I don't think, I don't, I don't really know.
• 41:35
  This is me admitting clearly I just learned what Formula One
• 41:38
  is. But I, I feel like you don't
• 41:41
  need to be having a six pack to be doing Formula One driving.
• 41:44
  But maybe it kind of throws off the weight of your car if you
• 41:47
  like way over a certain amount. So you have to be a sort of, you
• 41:49
  have to keep it tight. Right, you have to like brace
• 41:52
  your core the whole time. Or is it just that they're all
• 41:55
  like European and that my American brain is kind of
• 41:59
  immediately. But no, some of them I'm like,
• 42:01
  you're the hottest man I've ever seen, why are you so hot?
• 42:05
  The thing that prompted this was that I saw there's some Film
• 42:08
  Festival, there's Film Festival happening all the time.
• 42:11
  I don't understand. Somehow it's like constantly
• 42:14
  Film Festival season but Jonathan Bailey is in some movie
• 42:18
  and he was pulling up to a festival in like a boat with.
• 42:21
  Carlos. Yes, it was like Film Festival
• 42:26
  is, is Venice happening right now.
• 42:29
  Anyway, Jonathan Bailey pulled up.
• 42:30
  He was in this boat. There was this like beautiful
• 42:32
  man with him. I was like, who the fuck is
• 42:34
  this? Looked him up.
• 42:34
  Formula One race car driver Carlos Sainz.
• 42:38
  Let me look him up just to get a visual for myself again.
• 42:43
  OK. So unfortunately, these pictures
• 42:44
  of him on Google are not really kind of who I thought I was
• 42:48
  seeing. But he is beautiful.
• 42:50
  He's a beautiful man. This.
• 42:52
  I mean, he looks more like a regular guy.
• 42:54
  Yeah. I mean, that is kind of the face
• 42:56
  of a. But he's not.
• 42:58
  He's less hot than I thought he was when I first saw him.
• 43:00
  Maybe I was just kind of in heat that day.
• 43:02
  Yeah, it is the look. And I think the proximity to
• 43:05
  Jonathan Bailey probably helped the other one that I really love
• 43:08
  who's I think is super hot. Don't know really anything about
• 43:11
  him or his like, politics pics. Might be a terrible person.
• 43:14
  Charles Leclerc, unfortunately, yeah, I don't really know
• 43:18
  anything about him. Apologies if he's kind of like a
• 43:21
  Nazi, but he is absolutely stunning, beautiful.
• 43:25
  And I'm sort of, yeah, learning a lot about about cars less.
• 43:31
  About cars, more about guys. Right.
• 43:34
  More about like, oh, you know, how about, how about you?
• 43:37
  How about you stick this shift? Do you know what I mean?
• 43:46
  Yeah, we're going to get a lot of use out of that gunshot shout
• 43:53
  out to race car drivers. But also, I don't understand why
• 43:56
  this is happening. And I I'm sort of questioning
• 44:00
  your entire culture. I don't understand why you have
• 44:02
  to have sort of the hottest body imaginable just to ride around
• 44:06
  in a vehicle. Next, Dyson came out with a
• 44:11
  toothbrush and it's the craziest piece of equipment I've ever
• 44:14
  seen, and I don't trust that's the work of the devil.
• 44:18
  There's something sinister about the Dyson toothbrush.
• 44:21
  I'm sure it costs like $5000. I guess it takes like pictures
• 44:24
  of your teeth as it's brushing, it's squirting air at you.
• 44:29
  It's giving you some type of it's giving you some type of
• 44:32
  water massage. I don't think it even rotate.
• 44:35
  You're not even supposed to. You're just supposed to like
• 44:37
  have it over your tooth and it's doing stuff.
• 44:40
  How much? What's the retail price on that?
• 44:42
  Have they even said yet? Looking like about $500.
• 44:47
  That is crazy. That is crazy.
• 44:50
  You can get an electric toothbrush that's perfectly fine
• 44:53
  for like $20 it's got. Introducing Camera Jet The only
• 44:59
  toothbrush with a camera and a jet.
• 45:02
  There's something that I do like about sort of like gamifying
• 45:06
  those types of like hygiene things or health things where
• 45:09
  it's like, yeah, there's some people, it's fun for them to
• 45:11
  like dive into your like it's capturing a lot of data of your
• 45:15
  teeth that you can then go in and be like, oh, let's, let's
• 45:17
  look at how the teeth are doing today.
• 45:19
  Let me read the stats. Then the other part of me is
• 45:22
  like, I feel like we're getting a little too crazy.
• 45:25
  Everybody's looking at their stats all the time.
• 45:27
  Everybody's doing O-ring. Everybody's got, you know, Oh,
• 45:30
  my sleep, my sleep score was only, you know, 40 yesterday,
• 45:34
  actually myself. Everybody calmed down.
• 45:40
  Everybody needs to calm down. We don't need a toothbrush that
• 45:43
  can like read your pulse, OK? I don't like that.
• 45:46
  I don't. There's something that's like
• 45:48
  they're doing too. They're doing too much
• 45:51
  technology with some of these things.
• 45:53
  We don't need all of that. Some girl I saw on TikTok said a
• 45:57
  lot of you would cave for the Dyson toothbrush.
• 45:59
  And this is how they're going to put a data center up your ass
• 46:03
  because you're getting too comfortable with just sticking
• 46:06
  technology. I'm going to become a full blown
• 46:09
  sort of like tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist.
• 46:11
  They're putting 5G, They're putting 5G in the toothbrushes.
• 46:20
  And finally, I also learned also from a TikTok, spent a lot of
• 46:25
  time scrolling, spent a lot of time scrolling this week.
• 46:30
  It's the end of summer, so we're kind of doing a lot of
• 46:32
  scrolling. I learned apparently you it is
• 46:36
  illegal to run shirtless in Venice.
• 46:40
  There was this couple in Venice, I think it was from a few weeks
• 46:44
  ago, and they were on a morning run and the guy was shirtless
• 46:50
  running. And she was like, we, we kept
• 46:53
  getting all of these like people glaring at us and shaking their
• 46:58
  heads. And then someone was like, you
• 47:00
  know, it's illegal to run shirtless in Venice.
• 47:03
  You have to wear a shirt. And I just think that that
• 47:06
  should be against the like, what are you talking about?
• 47:10
  How dare you stop a hot man from running around shirtless if he
• 47:14
  wants to run shirtless. I thought this was Italy.
• 47:17
  First of all, is it not Venice? Famously it is in Italy where I
• 47:23
  thought people were down with being horny as fuck.
• 47:26
  What do you mean? Half of your statues have their
• 47:28
  nuts out and you can't? Also, that city is sinking into
• 47:32
  the sea. Let's have a little fun with it.
• 47:36
  Maybe the shirtless. Oh, oh, you want people to put
• 47:39
  more weight on their shoulders with by wearing a shirt so that
• 47:42
  every stomp that they take is sinking the city even more?
• 47:46
  No, he's actually trying to be as respectful and light as
• 47:49
  possible so as not to damage your beautiful city.
• 47:53
  Or maybe they're worried about people's kind of flooding
• 47:55
  themselves too much. Oh, I'm going to start squirt.
• 47:58
  I'm gushing because I saw a shirtless guy.
• 48:01
  This is kind of too horny of an episode.
• 48:02
  We're going to have to put some type of disclaimer at the
• 48:05
  beginning. But we can't risk, we can't risk
• 48:08
  kind of flooding Venice even more.
• 48:11
  So you got to put a shirt on. Or maybe it's kind of their way
• 48:15
  of being like, you know, because on the one hand, you let people
• 48:18
  take their shirt offs. Maybe you're going to see a lot
• 48:20
  of people whose shirts you don't want to see off.
• 48:23
  And so we kind of have A11 size fits rule for everybody.
• 48:27
  But I love that this couple that went running, they they learned
• 48:30
  this, I guess. And then they made the guy like
• 48:33
  hide in an alley while while someone else in their like group
• 48:37
  went and bought, got him a shirt and like brought it back.
• 48:43
  I was like damn, that was why in Twilight when Edward is going to
• 48:48
  walk out shirtless right in where Venice cannot believe that
• 48:56
  I just pulled Twilight lore out of my brain.
• 49:01
  I don't even fuck with Twilight like that, but like I for some
• 49:04
  reason the scene where Edward is about to that scene always
• 49:08
  confused the fuck out of me. So I'm like, he threatened to
• 49:12
  expose himself in Venice by where?
• 49:15
  By like sparkling in the sun, but it wouldn't kill him
• 49:19
  immediately. It would just like expose
• 49:21
  himself as a vampire so that the vampire council would have to
• 49:24
  like track him down. This is what is in my brain
• 49:27
  instead of like memories for my childhood.
• 49:34
  Somehow the finite amount of information in my brain has
• 49:37
  gotten replaced with Twilight facts and I don't like that fact
• 49:40
  about me. I need to look into this law and
• 49:43
  figure out why they're preventing hot guys from being
• 49:46
  shirtless. And Venice.
• 49:48
  I don't like that. Feels very unitalian to me.
• 49:50
  I thought they were OK with being horny.
• 49:52
  I guess not. And finally, my heck yeah
• 49:58
  brother, the thing that's making me say heck yeah, the opposite
• 50:03
  of a what the heck? My heck yeah brother for this
• 50:05
  week is going to go ahead and be Reese's Oreos.
• 50:10
  Reese's Oreos. I say Reese's I kind of say it
• 50:14
  both ways. Some people get very upset when
• 50:16
  you mispronounce Reese's. Technically it's Reese's as in
• 50:21
  of Reese, but a lot of us used to say Reese's give me Reese's
• 50:26
  give me Reese's PCs, which is absolutely not what it is.
• 50:30
  But in my mind it I always say Reese's PCs Oreo and Reese's did
• 50:36
  a collaboration. I don't know how new IT is if
• 50:38
  this has been around forever, but they there are two beautiful
• 50:43
  women who decided to maximize their joint sleigh and it is an
• 50:50
  Oreo cookie with a Reese's peanut butter filling.
• 50:55
  Literally fuck me in the ass. Chris Fleming had like an
• 51:02
  amazing bit about how Oreo is basically as a brand whoring
• 51:07
  themselves out to anybody who comes knocking.
• 51:09
  You can get, you can be like a gas station and they'll do like
• 51:15
  a branded collaboration with Oreo and they'll do like petrol
• 51:19
  flavor. There's more flavors of Oreo
• 51:21
  than I think any other substance on earth, but some, some of them
• 51:26
  are hits, some of them are misses.
• 51:28
  And they really nailed it. They really, they really nailed
• 51:31
  it out of the park with Reese's 'cause you mix Oreo with peanut
• 51:35
  butter, fireworks, fireworks, those flashes that you see in a
• 51:42
  movie where it's like a, a, a flower starts blooming with
• 51:45
  Thunder, lightning, lightning comes down, a baby is born and
• 51:50
  starts crying. That's what happens when I put
• 51:53
  Reese's Oreo into my mouth. Beautiful, amazing stuff.
• 51:58
  Everybody go get yourself a Reese's Oreo on me.
• 52:03
  And that's it for this week's. What the heck?
• 52:06
  Thank you for listening. Thank you for watching.
• 52:08
  Make sure you like and subscribe.
• 52:10
  I'm not saying this as a fucking Joe.
• 52:12
  You think this is funny. No, if you're watching this or
• 52:16
  listening to this, you better be subscribed or I will come to
• 52:19
  your house. I will find out where you live,
• 52:22
  and I will. I'm I'm seeing more people are
• 52:31
  listening and watching the show than are subscribing to the
• 52:34
  channel and subscribing to the page.
• 52:36
  So you better fucking do it. OK, I'm I'm not fucking joking
• 52:40
  around. So anyway, thank you for
• 52:42
  listening. Thank you for watching like
• 52:44
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• 52:48
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• 52:51
  Call into the what the heck hotline And that's it.
• 52:53
  That's everything. See you next week.
• 52:56
  Bye. This has been an episode of What
• 53:01
  the Heck with Matt Bellicide. You can call and leave us a
• 53:03
  voicemail about what's making you say what the heck this week
• 53:06
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• 53:08
  Call us at 407-984-6288. That's four O 7 WTH Matt.
• 53:14
  What the heck with Matt? Bellicide is produced by same
• 53:16
  boat Studios and Bellicide Productions.
• 53:19
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• 53:21
  Our executive producers are Gabrielle Lewis, Barry Finkel
• 53:24
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• 53:26
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• 53:32
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• 53:35
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