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Money, Mindset, And Growing Up Broke · That Home Loan Hub

0:10
SPEAKER_00: Some time ago I had this beautiful human on my show and she was brave enough to come back.
0:15
SPEAKER_00: She often talks about healthy foods and sleep and how you can still have fun and eat chocolates and wine.
0:22
SPEAKER_00: So her name is Lucy and she's a dear friend of mine and she was brave enough to come onto my new series about money and relationships.
0:30
SPEAKER_00: Hello, Lucy.
0:31
SPEAKER_00: Hello, good morning, Zibonis.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: Good morning.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: So you are Lucy from Lucy Nutrition.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: Correct.
0:38
SPEAKER_00: And you often talk about health and women and what happens to them during their life stages, etc.
0:46
SPEAKER_00: But not just women, you also work with all sorts of clients.
0:48
SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of men, yes, too.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: So today I decided to spin it around a little bit and interview you and your upbringing and your life.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: And maybe I will find out a lot more new information about you that I didn't know before.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: But the idea behind us really is to help people see how we all from different walks of lives.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: We all have life happen to us and how do we make choices in life?
1:13
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we have to make harder choices, sometimes softer choices.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: So this is more of a lesson that you've learned over time that you could share with bigger audiences.
1:24
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: I will ha I will try my best.
1:27
SPEAKER_02: So Lucy, where are you from originally?
1:29
SPEAKER_02: So I was born in Wellington.
1:31
SPEAKER_02: Yes, and grew up most I was there most of my life.
1:34
SPEAKER_02: You know, traveled, went overseas and stuff for a bit.
1:37
SPEAKER_02: And then I moved to Auckland for about four years.
1:40
SPEAKER_02: And then when I got pregnant with my son about 13, 14 years ago, wanted to move back to Wellington.
1:46
SPEAKER_02: It's where my family is, where my husband's family is, and so we ended up moving to the Carpete Coast.
1:53
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
1:53
SPEAKER_02: Sort of enough distance that we could visit them when we like, but also to still be uh independent.
2:00
SPEAKER_00: Still be independent.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: What I want to know about, if we go back, back, back into your childhood, what's your first memory of money?
2:07
SPEAKER_02: Well, there was never enough.
2:09
SPEAKER_02: We were always, always broke.
2:12
SPEAKER_02: I have tried to do this before, and I can't, I can't remember my first memory of money, but I always remember having a bit of anxiety around it.
2:19
SPEAKER_02: I remember one day at school, I was about five years old, and this boy made these really cool, I guess they're like crochet keyrings.
2:28
SPEAKER_02: And there was a frog one I really liked, and I I really, really wanted it, and I remember begging my parents, and uh eventually they gave me money.
2:34
SPEAKER_02: It was five dollars or something at the time.
2:36
SPEAKER_02: Hey, we're talking 50 years ago.
2:38
SPEAKER_02: They had the dollars, like a million dollars.
2:40
SPEAKER_02: But I uh and my parents gave me money for it, but I remember it was all it was in a yogurt bottle, and it was all sort of like five or ten cent coins to to make it up to the design of five dollars.
2:53
SPEAKER_02: And I remember paying it to the boy and getting the the key ring that I really, really wanted, and then panicking about it.
3:03
SPEAKER_02: I was so anxious about it that I ended up getting a refund and paying it back because I it was so stressful to me to give up that money.
3:12
SPEAKER_02: I was about to say, did you have like a buyer's regret?
3:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like a buyer's regret, even though I really wanted it.
3:16
SPEAKER_02: And like my kids would never have that sort of thing now.
3:19
SPEAKER_02: Like they get sort of buyer's regret, but sort of be like, meh, move on, you know.
3:23
SPEAKER_02: They but yeah, it really, really, I remember that was one of my earliest memories of money and yeah, the massive anxiety around it.
3:30
SPEAKER_02: Mmm, interesting.
3:32
SPEAKER_02: Did you look into it as you grew up?
3:35
SPEAKER_02: Why?
3:36
SPEAKER_02: We were we were very poor.
3:38
SPEAKER_02: My dad was an alcoholic, so a lot of money went there.
3:42
SPEAKER_02: I'm one of four kids.
3:45
SPEAKER_02: You know, my mum, she was an amazing person, did what she could, but she's always stressed and not well supported.
3:52
SPEAKER_02: And she would she was generally a stay-at-home mum, but she would work when she needed to.
3:56
SPEAKER_02: So she would, you know, when there was too many bills or things, she would go and work in a cafe, or she was a teacher by trade, so she'd go and do relief teaching when she could, things like that.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: So you grew up seeing that you're broke, money's hard.
4:11
SPEAKER_02: Money's hard, there's never enough.
4:13
SPEAKER_02: We can never afford anything, we can't pay bills, we don't get luxuries.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:19
SPEAKER_00: Do you think that was a reality for a lot of New Zealanders back then?
4:22
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
4:23
SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of them that I'm interviewing at the moment, they're all pretty much saying very, very similar things.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: That's life has been hard, we were broke, didn't have luxuries.
4:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:32
SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: And what made you go, This is my life, or what made you go, and I don't want this sort of life?
4:39
SPEAKER_00: Like what was your pivotal moment?
4:41
SPEAKER_02: I think it was sort of when I got to the age where I could make my own money.
4:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, what was that age?
4:46
SPEAKER_02: So I did bits of you know teenage work, but when I sort of had left school and I got my first full-time job in a pharmacy, and that was actually one of the happiest times of my life because even You were dealing drugs.
4:58
SPEAKER_02: I was dealing drugs.
4:59
SPEAKER_02: I was helping heal people.
5:01
SPEAKER_02: I was learning, I was learning about how some medicines can help people.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: I there's a lot of natural products there too, which I also loved.
5:07
SPEAKER_02: Get a discount.
5:08
SPEAKER_02: I earned, I think I earned$8 an hour at the time.
5:12
SPEAKER_02: Like that was Yep, that was that was about that much.
5:14
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
5:15
SPEAKER_02: And then I remember getting a a pay rise up to$10 and thinking that was like amazing.
5:19
SPEAKER_02: Like I'm getting paid so well.
5:21
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, so when I sort of started to have a bit of that control of my own money.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: What did you do with that?
5:27
SPEAKER_02: I probably at first did all things teenage girls would do by hair dye, by makeup.
5:33
SPEAKER_02: But I also did a lot of really sensible things.
5:35
SPEAKER_02: So I remember I paid, I did a photography course, for example.
5:37
SPEAKER_02: So I paid for that up front.
5:40
SPEAKER_02: I probably spent too much on alcohol, definitely.
5:44
SPEAKER_02: Really?
5:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:45
SPEAKER_02: As a teenager?
5:46
SPEAKER_02: As a teenager, yes.
5:47
SPEAKER_02: I was a heavy drinker as a teenager, I was a binge drinker.
5:50
SPEAKER_02: It's very common in New Zealand.
5:52
SPEAKER_02: It's so funny because you know me now.
5:54
SPEAKER_02: I hardly ever touch alcohol, right?
5:56
SPEAKER_02: Well, I know now why.
5:59
SPEAKER_02: Oh I enjoy it now and then.
6:00
SPEAKER_02: I just don't it yeah, I don't like it like how I did.
6:04
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, so did I answer your question?
6:07
SPEAKER_02: What was the question?
6:08
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
6:09
SPEAKER_00: I love I love it that you were so engrossed in telling me your story.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: But what I'm curious about is that I'm just trying to envision 16-year-old, 18-year-old Lucy.
6:20
SPEAKER_00: She doesn't know much about the money.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: No, she's now earning money, yeah, and she's spending a lot of it on things that she probably shouldn't.
6:27
SPEAKER_02: I'd say most would be okay.
6:29
SPEAKER_02: It's the alcohol.
6:31
SPEAKER_02: That was the waste.
6:32
SPEAKER_02: I think for a teenage girl to, you know, have that empowerment to buy her own hair day, to buy her own things was great.
6:39
SPEAKER_02: And I don't regret that.
6:40
SPEAKER_02: What I do regret is the two bottles of wine a weekend or whatever it wants.
6:44
SPEAKER_02: Wow, because it's not good for your health as well.
6:47
SPEAKER_02: Oh god, no.
6:48
SPEAKER_02: That age, all your hormones.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: And do you think that determined where you ended up now as well?
6:53
SPEAKER_02: Well, I guess it has to have, right?
6:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:55
SPEAKER_00: That 16-year-old influenced you to look back and go, actually, no, I want to be healthier.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to be bench drinking and Yeah.
7:03
SPEAKER_02: If I had that choice again, I wouldn't do it knowing what I know now.
7:06
SPEAKER_02: But I didn't know that then, did I?
7:08
SPEAKER_02: No.
7:08
SPEAKER_02: So growing up, did your parents teach you much about the money at all?
7:12
SPEAKER_02: No.
7:12
SPEAKER_02: My mum was quite good at budgeting.
7:15
SPEAKER_02: I don't know any of my dad's thoughts about it.
7:19
SPEAKER_00: So you haven't learned money sense.
7:21
SPEAKER_00: I haven't what, sorry?
7:22
SPEAKER_00: Money sense.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: Like in terms of, you know, like, hey, you should be putting money aside or you should be saving or you should be, you know, putting No, nothing.
7:30
SPEAKER_02: Nothing about savings, not nothing.
7:33
SPEAKER_02: No.
7:34
SPEAKER_02: Isn't it interesting?
7:36
SPEAKER_00: So what sort of mistakes do you remember apart from the alcohol?
7:40
SPEAKER_02: Well, I do think if I had put all that money into a bank account.
7:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: And just if you could go back in time and if someone whispered into little Lucy's ear, going, Hey, don't spend, you know,$15 every weekend on that.
7:56
SPEAKER_00: Put it into, I don't know, bonus bonds.
7:59
SPEAKER_02: Bonus bonds.
8:00
SPEAKER_02: What was around at the time?
8:01
SPEAKER_02: There was yeah, bonus bonds probably.
8:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:04
SPEAKER_02: Wasn't easy to learn.
8:05
SPEAKER_02: I hadn't learned I knew my mum had shares and something, but you generally, when would you where would you learn about that?
8:12
SPEAKER_02: You know, we've got sharesies and all these cool things.
8:14
SPEAKER_02: You just have an app, you know.
8:16
SPEAKER_02: I can just Yeah.
8:17
SPEAKER_02: So do you teach your kids about money now?
8:19
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
8:20
SPEAKER_02: So we're very not quite strict, but we're very this is this is the way you do it.
8:26
SPEAKER_02: So as soon as we started giving them pocket money, we broke it into three.
8:30
SPEAKER_02: So they get a third of it, the household gets a third of it, and a third goes into savings.
8:38
SPEAKER_02: So they get used to they have to contribute when they're out flatting or when they own their own home, a third of their money is going to go to their household, right?
8:45
SPEAKER_02: It's contributing to food, to power, to to society, be a contr contributing member of society.
8:52
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
8:53
SPEAKER_02: And how do they react to that?
8:55
SPEAKER_02: They can be a little bit resistant, but they're okay with it.
8:58
SPEAKER_02: And now that my son's sort of starting up earning his own money, and we've sort of said, you know, this amount has to go back into your business.
9:06
SPEAKER_02: This amount, you know, has to, you know, maybe go to us because of the work we're putting in.
9:13
SPEAKER_02: Because we're IOD.
9:16
SPEAKER_02: Because we're the IOD and we gotta pay some tax.
9:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
9:19
SPEAKER_02: But but to learn about that at that lung lung age, at that young age, that yes, a third, you know, a third of your money will be going to tax one day, so you need to be used to that.
9:29
SPEAKER_02: And that because that is contributing to the roads, it's contributing to your libraries, it's you know, contributing to society.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
9:38
SPEAKER_00: And for instance, when you were young and you didn't know much about the money, what was the point in life where you wanted to learn about the money?
9:46
SPEAKER_00: Was there any point where you thought, oh, I need to actually get serious about life, I need to think about buying a house?
9:52
SPEAKER_00: Like, at what point did that happen?
9:54
SPEAKER_00: Was it when you met your husband or before you met him?
9:57
SPEAKER_02: I have no idea.
9:58
SPEAKER_02: So I actually bought a house quite young.
10:00
SPEAKER_02: I bought a house with my brother when I was 21.
10:03
SPEAKER_02: Oh wow.
10:04
SPEAKER_02: He was quite a bit this is my brother that's passed away.
10:06
SPEAKER_02: He was a bit older than me, and he was so he was selling his house and at the time, and we bought an apartment together, so he paid the deposit and then I serviced the mortgage.
10:18
SPEAKER_02: And I lived there for about a year, and then we kept it for a year, and then we sold it.
10:23
SPEAKER_02: So some decisions like that was probably very mature for a 21-year-old, right?
10:30
SPEAKER_02: So I guess in some ways I was amazing, in some ways I was completely clueless.
10:35
SPEAKER_02: You sound like me.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: No wonder we share both things.
10:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we're we're both yeah, we can be all over the show, right?
10:45
SPEAKER_00: It's funny.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: Um, so you bought a house at 21 and then you sold that.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: And then when did you meet Gabe?
10:52
SPEAKER_02: I didn't meet Gabe till I was about 26, 20, yeah, 26, I think.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
10:57
SPEAKER_02: So that was a while away.
10:58
SPEAKER_02: So I was very after that, I decided to be an actor full-time, which was terrible for money.
11:06
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, you know, you you earned maybe 200 bucks a week, your rent's 200 bucks a week.
11:13
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
11:13
SPEAKER_02: Like the starving actor thing is real.
11:16
SPEAKER_02: Like one year I earned I think six thousand dollars.
11:20
SPEAKER_02: This is as a 22-year-old.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: You were just the wrong actor in the wrong industry.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: Some some actors earn a lot.
11:27
SPEAKER_02: That was that was better than a lot of people, right?
11:29
SPEAKER_02: You know?
11:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
11:31
SPEAKER_02: Oh, sorry, I just realized I haven't put my phone on silent.
11:33
SPEAKER_02: That's I apologise.
11:35
SPEAKER_02: That's the acting job calling you.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: So it's right, right?
11:40
SPEAKER_00: I mean, what we do in live defines sometimes the income potential that we can have.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: Definitely.
11:45
SPEAKER_02: Imagine if I imagine if I worked full-time then and I saved then.
11:51
unknown: Yeah.
11:51
SPEAKER_02: What a better position I'd be in now.
11:53
SPEAKER_02: Possibly.
11:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
11:55
SPEAKER_02: But then you don't know.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: You don't know, right?
11:57
SPEAKER_02: Life happens, right?
11:58
SPEAKER_00: I feel like everything we that we experience in life often defines where we end up as well.
12:03
SPEAKER_00: Like if we didn't have those experiences, we wouldn't end up where we are now.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: And I believe, I truly, truly believe that everything that we get given, it's a life learning experience.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: It's either for us to go, awesome, I've learned my lesson here, and I'm gonna do something, and I'm gonna do something about it, or not see those lessons and then get hit by the by the brick and then finally see the lesson.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: So for you and Gabe, when you guys met, what sort of because I don't know, I'm I'm always always curious about the relationships that people then have with each other as well.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: Because if you've come from this background and he's come from a completely totally different background, like how do you gel when it comes to very serious aspects of relationship?
12:49
SPEAKER_00: Because finances break a lot of relationships.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: That's like number one reason where people don't see eye to eye and then they go separate ways.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: So, how did you and Gabe see each other in the finance sense of things?
13:05
SPEAKER_02: And in that respect, we were very similar with our morals and values of money.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: He was also drinking a lot.
13:15
SPEAKER_02: And a poet stage.
13:16
SPEAKER_02: At that stage, he was probably drinking quite, he was working in film, so long hours, big parties.
13:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
13:22
SPEAKER_02: I can't say too much about his side without him here.
13:24
SPEAKER_01: Of course.
13:25
SPEAKER_02: But he sort of had a he had a quite a privileged childhood initially.
13:33
SPEAKER_02: You know, private schools, very professional parents, but then it went very badly and they separated, and so then he had from the age of about 12 the other extreme of yeah.
13:46
SPEAKER_02: So he's send both sides.
13:48
SPEAKER_02: The both so I guess that when we got together we were in a similar place.
13:58
SPEAKER_02: I guess.
13:59
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
14:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:01
SPEAKER_02: We've both been quite, you know, would have been below the poverty line at times, but then also both earned our own money, which may have been really great at times.
14:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:12
SPEAKER_00: And then you decided to get serious, you decided to get married.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: And then at what point do you intermingle finances?
14:18
SPEAKER_02: So we had earlier, because we got had a baby before we were married.
14:23
SPEAKER_02: We have a very interesting relationship because when we when we were we got together working together, and it was on this movie called The Hobbit.
14:33
SPEAKER_02: You may have heard of it.
14:34
SPEAKER_02: No, not at all.
14:36
SPEAKER_02: He was my boss.
14:38
SPEAKER_02: I am a year older than him, so it wasn't in any way dodgy.
14:41
SPEAKER_02: It was very consensual and professional.
14:45
SPEAKER_02: But so we were on the road working extremely long hours, living together in each other's face in extreme conditions, in extreme stress.
14:55
SPEAKER_02: So where other relationships I might have had, or you might have had, or anyone might have had, you know, you meet someone, you wait a couple of days, you go on a date, you spend an hour or two together, and then you don't see them or wait for them to call.
15:07
SPEAKER_02: This we're in each other's face 24-7.
15:11
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
15:11
SPEAKER_02: You know, you see every we had cried in front of each other, we had probably farted in front of each other, but you know, so it's it was coming from a very different place to other romantic relationships.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: Cool, yeah.
15:25
SPEAKER_00: Maybe sometimes it's better, like maybe still together.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:30
SPEAKER_00: Well, you're still together and you still, you know, you see it straight away, like whether you're going to be a good fit or not.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: Whether you accept this whole being on front of you or you don't.
15:39
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
15:39
SPEAKER_02: You see all sides and you also see each other the full spectrum under under pressure because we're under pressure, we're sleep deprived, we were working so hard, and it was a very, very physical job.
15:50
SPEAKER_02: You know, you see each other pushed to your max.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:53
SPEAKER_02: And so you see how they each other reacts to stress.
15:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: That's interesting because again, I'm always curious about the couples and relationships.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: And when it comes to you know being together, and then there are different chains, there are different schools of thought in terms of her money is hers, his money is his, and then whatever bills they have, they may share the bills.
16:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they may not want to intermingle everything together, but then some people go, No, if we're together, we should share everything together.
16:23
SPEAKER_00: But then if they do separate, then you know you have to unless me see.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so it's sort of interesting to see where people are heading, and there are pros and cons to each situation, of course.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: But um, in terms of you guys, what did you end up doing?
16:38
SPEAKER_02: So, because uh so we'd had this very intense start to our relationship, and then he I went back to Auckland to finish studying.
16:47
SPEAKER_02: He moved up there a month a couple months later to live.
16:51
SPEAKER_02: So we were living together for maybe a month or two, and then he had to come back down to Wellington for work, and I found out I was pregnant.
17:00
SPEAKER_02: So that was eight months into our relationship that I was pregnant.
17:05
SPEAKER_02: So very quickly, so when we were in our flating situation, which we had all our finances separate, he realised he was earning a lot more than me because I was a student and he was working, that he paid a little bit of extra rent so I wouldn't have to, and then he was very sweet and gave me$50 a week allowance allowance on top of that, so that I'd have enough money to buy us, you know, to buy nicer meals or to support my body.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: Well, you were you were growing his babies.
17:34
SPEAKER_00: I was growing his baby.
17:35
SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: And that's how you test men as well, you know.
17:38
SPEAKER_00: Like he was already willing to to look after you and look after that baby.
17:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and as soon as yeah, when after the baby, it was he was the provider temporarily.
17:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:50
SPEAKER_02: So we had merged pretty much everything.
17:53
SPEAKER_02: Everything was everything still is now, all completely merged.
17:57
SPEAKER_02: And the way we do it is we do still give ourselves like we give kids pocket money, we each ourselves get pocket money each week.
18:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:05
SPEAKER_02: That we don't have to tell the other person what we spend it on.
18:07
SPEAKER_02: That's cute.
18:08
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, he can buy whatever the hell he likes, and I'm not gonna comment on it.
18:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
18:13
SPEAKER_00: Same goes.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: I really think that this is a good way to do it as well.
18:17
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
18:17
SPEAKER_00: Because often what I find is that if he's the main provider and he sees where the money goes, you might, you know, he might still feel like, oh, why did you spend so much money on here or nails or whatever, you know.
18:29
SPEAKER_00: That money couldn't.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: Have you seen my nails?
18:32
SPEAKER_00: That money couldn't.
18:33
SPEAKER_02: He would be confused.
18:37
SPEAKER_02: What you can't see is I've got gardeners' hands.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: It's a hard-working woman that nourishes and provides for her family.
18:46
SPEAKER_00: But what I also see is a lot of women take that step back, they'll they raise the family, they end up being sandwich caregivers where they look after their elderly parents and then they also look after their kids.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: And therefore what it's called, sandwich caregivers.
19:00
SPEAKER_00: And and we're also we're at that age, right?
19:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
19:02
SPEAKER_00: And did you know usually the care falls onto the eldest daughter?
19:07
SPEAKER_02: Which is yeah.
19:08
SPEAKER_02: I'm not the eldest.
19:10
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: I hope your sister's not listening to this.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: Sorry, Della.
19:16
SPEAKER_02: She'd be like, yeah, take that, Lucy.
19:19
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, usually the care of the parents falls always onto the eldest daughter, and the eldest daughter is the one that usually you know has to manage all the finances for the parents, for the kids, for everyone.
19:29
SPEAKER_00: So watch out for that sister.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
19:32
SPEAKER_00: But in terms of women, overall, what I find is that if they're not earning their money and if they're really dependent on a man, then that starts that whole power imbalance.
19:43
SPEAKER_02: Definitely.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: And also the financial education then falls behind because he's the one that's making all the main decisions.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: Right.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: But it's changing now.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: I see a lot of younger people and a lot of younger women now going, No, I want to know.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: And usually now they're the ones making all the decisions, and the guys are falling behind.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: So I feel like in 10 years' time I will be having a complete opposite conversation with man and trying to empower man to take back.
20:06
SPEAKER_02: You can do it, you can earn money, man.
20:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, literally.
20:09
SPEAKER_00: So, how was it in yours?
20:11
SPEAKER_00: Like, do you find that you had to take a bit of a step back in your career and your life and you're earning potential to look after the kids?
20:18
SPEAKER_02: Definitely.
20:19
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes it was just more practical because of the style of work he does.
20:24
SPEAKER_02: He works in film, so often he's you know, it's quite long hours and it's quite intense.
20:30
SPEAKER_02: And he earns not hourly more than me, I would earn a lot more.
20:35
SPEAKER_02: Um But yes, I definitely there were years I especially when babies were little, that I just didn't work or I worked one day a week, sort of thing that you do.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: The daycare course doesn't even make sense.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: Like by the time you pay the daycare and what you earn.
20:49
SPEAKER_02: I still did it, so I think with the second, so first child didn't do it, second child.
20:53
SPEAKER_02: I went, I need a day with her at day care.
20:55
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
20:56
SPEAKER_02: Just just to have a coffee and think and exercise and do the supermarket shop.
21:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:01
SPEAKER_02: And and Gabe was very supportive of that.
21:04
SPEAKER_02: You know, he I was very lucky that he's like, Yes, you are a human and you need to function like one.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: I guess the main lesson in all of this, what I'm hearing, is marry well.
21:14
SPEAKER_02: Marry well, choose someone that chooses you back that you have.
21:18
SPEAKER_02: I think before him, I would choose people that weren't good matches for me.
21:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:24
SPEAKER_02: Because so maybe I'm lucky the situation that we met was you see all sides of each other, but other what is that?
21:31
SPEAKER_02: Is that a truck that vibrating?
21:34
SPEAKER_02: Is it an earthquake?
21:35
SPEAKER_02: My listeners are gonna have so much fun with this going on.
21:39
SPEAKER_02: Um is it a truck?
21:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there's construction around us.
21:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
21:43
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
21:44
SPEAKER_02: Just oh gosh.
21:45
SPEAKER_02: I hope I wasn't yelling too loud in your head.
21:48
SPEAKER_02: Yes, definitely, as you said, a lot of couples break up and have fights.
21:52
SPEAKER_02: Isn't that one of the one of one of the biggest fights is financial things that split up couples?
21:57
SPEAKER_02: So I think getting choosing a partner that you can talk honestly with, have honest conversations with, and that has similar morals and values to you is gonna make a huge difference.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: And now that you're a bit older.
22:15
SPEAKER_02: Older.
22:15
SPEAKER_02: Who are you calling old?
22:17
SPEAKER_00: Older.
22:17
SPEAKER_02: I'm a couple of years older than Zibaniso, and she likes to emphasize that often.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: Now that you're a little bit older than the 16-year-old Lucy.
22:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:26
SPEAKER_00: Who do you think has more financial financial knowledge?
22:30
SPEAKER_00: You or Gabe?
22:32
SPEAKER_02: Oh, this is a hard one.
22:34
SPEAKER_02: I would only say him because he's now studying and he's just done a paper in accounting.
22:39
SPEAKER_02: So that's a bit unfair.
22:42
SPEAKER_02: But it would be him, yes.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: How did you empower yourself over the years to learn more about money?
22:47
SPEAKER_02: I had to actually retrain my brain.
22:50
SPEAKER_02: How?
22:51
SPEAKER_02: So there's so many different ways you can do it.
22:53
SPEAKER_02: You can do it with, you know, affirmations and breath work and meditations.
22:57
SPEAKER_02: But if you were so already brainwashed to think that you don't have enough or there's not enough money in the world, and I hear people talk, you know, words can be very powerful.
23:06
SPEAKER_02: And I hear a lot of people always saying, you know, there's just not enough jobs or there's not enough money.
23:10
SPEAKER_02: And as soon as you have that mindset, your subconscious will fill that in.
23:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
23:15
SPEAKER_02: And your own bias will fill that in.
23:17
SPEAKER_02: But if you are open and you're like, actually, there are a lot of jobs out there, there are a lot of opportunities out there, there's more than enough money to go around.
23:25
SPEAKER_02: You're more likely to notice it, to see it, to attract it into your life.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: It's that whole um that whole concept around the cars.
23:33
SPEAKER_00: You know, if you want to buy a certain car and then suddenly you see that car everywhere.
23:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:37
SPEAKER_02: So that's an actual that's part of your brain called your reticular activating system, and you can train it.
23:41
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, again, like the car or babies, and then suddenly you notice everyone around you has a baby and you've never noticed that before.
23:47
SPEAKER_02: It was always there.
23:48
SPEAKER_02: But your brain is filtering millions of bits of information at any given second.
23:53
SPEAKER_02: So if you tell it, if you train your brain what to look for, it will find it.
23:57
SPEAKER_02: So if you train your brain to look for opportunities just to be open, going, actually, there is stuff, there are opportunities out there.
24:04
SPEAKER_02: There is money out there.
24:08
SPEAKER_02: It's like, what are you looking down at?
24:11
SPEAKER_00: No, I was gonna take a beautiful video of you as you were saying as I was ranting because I was getting quite passionate there.
24:17
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I love that because I think you and I are very similar in our mindsets.
24:21
SPEAKER_00: I think you and I have had interesting childhood backgrounds growing up, and I think we've landed at a point of life now where we do believe that we are in control of our destiny, that we can retrain our brain.
24:33
SPEAKER_00: We can.
24:34
SPEAKER_00: That life didn't happen to us, it happened for us.
24:36
SPEAKER_00: And you know, we can change the future narrative.
24:40
SPEAKER_00: We don't need to sit there and willow in a pity party.
24:43
SPEAKER_02: Yes, and and it is a trap that most people get into because they will then attract more as as you're training your reticular activating system in your brain, you will then notice more.
24:55
SPEAKER_02: It will confirm your bias more.
24:56
SPEAKER_02: So as soon as you're going, there's not enough, there's not enough, there's no jobs, there's no opportunities out there, your bias will confirm that for you.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
25:04
SPEAKER_02: As soon as you say there's plenty for everyone, no one has to miss out, everyone can have enough.
25:09
SPEAKER_02: You will start to find ways that you can do that and share that.
25:15
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, you know, and I think I think that's really powerful for people to know because we dealing in a really interesting world where there's so much information, there is so much technology overload right now.
25:30
SPEAKER_00: And I think if we don't help the future generation to hear the sort of messages that, hey, life was actually way tougher back then.
25:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, way, way, way tougher.
25:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I get it, it's tough now, but you guys have so much more opportunity with technology as well.
25:45
SPEAKER_00: Like you can do things that we couldn't do back then, yeah.
25:49
SPEAKER_00: And it's all in your hands, you're in charge of your own future.
25:53
SPEAKER_02: Definitely.
25:53
SPEAKER_02: Do you agree?
25:54
SPEAKER_02: I do definitely agree.
25:59
SPEAKER_02: Yes, but it's it's that being able to sift through all that through through all that information to have knowledge, right?
26:07
SPEAKER_02: Because I also think that can be very overwhelming, having too much choice.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and I think that's another problem as well, is that when we were growing up we didn't really have much choice.
26:15
SPEAKER_02: No, it's sort of you just that's the school you go to, that's the only one close by, that's the thing you do, you know.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, versus now they've got way too much choice, and that can be what I I love this phrase called paralysis analysis.
26:27
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
26:28
SPEAKER_00: Where people just keep analyzing so much more information and then they just have a paralysis where they don't know what to do because they don't know which way to go, and everywhere they go, you know, it may be bad or good.
26:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and anytime you start something new or go down a different path, it's gonna be hard.
26:43
SPEAKER_02: So if you're not enjoying it straight away, then you freak out.
26:46
SPEAKER_02: So you never know if that was actually the right thing for you.
26:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: So if we go back to money for a moment there, yes, and if we talk about how tough it is for people out there right now, a lot of that affects their food habits and what they eat.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
27:02
SPEAKER_00: What's your what's your lifestyle like now?
27:05
SPEAKER_00: And what suggestions do you have for people that are on a budget?
27:08
SPEAKER_00: How can they carry on eating better?
27:10
SPEAKER_02: I think just the first step is awareness, being aware of what you're eating.
27:14
SPEAKER_02: Being aware of like yesterday I bought a can of tomatoes.
27:17
SPEAKER_02: I normally buy organic tomatoes.
27:20
SPEAKER_02: You don't have to, I choose to.
27:23
SPEAKER_02: But I've just bought a normal one and I didn't realise all the different additives that were in it, and it even had sugar in it.
27:29
SPEAKER_02: So awareness gives you a lot of power, being aware of what is in food.
27:34
SPEAKER_02: But in terms of you know, being on a budget, it's hard this time of year because it's winter, but growing your own, you know, it's like planting money, right?
27:44
SPEAKER_02: When you grow your own food and you're getting it so much fresher than supermarket or any even, you know, even the local markets.
27:53
SPEAKER_02: Stocking up on whatever's in season is always beneficial.
27:57
SPEAKER_02: So I went to Pack and Save this morning and did my weekly shop.
28:00
SPEAKER_02: There are so many amazing bargains there today.
28:03
SPEAKER_02: I'm not in any way affiliated with Pack and Safe.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: This episode is not sponsored by Peck and Safe.
28:10
SPEAKER_02: But you know, carrots were like$1.29 a kilo, you know, broccoli was a dollar.
28:15
SPEAKER_02: You can actually eat well on a budget, you know.
28:18
SPEAKER_02: There is there are opportunities too.
28:20
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if they're having a sale or but yeah, there was a lot of things.
28:23
SPEAKER_02: It was sort of like this many things for five dollars.
28:27
SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's five dollar a week.
28:28
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: But I think educating people are in charge of educating themselves as well.
28:34
SPEAKER_00: Again, you know, we've got so much technology, you can go and do research, you can do this and that, but also stretching the food.
28:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
28:40
SPEAKER_00: I often had a challenge to myself when money was getting tight.
28:43
SPEAKER_00: I would go, I'm gonna use up everything I have in the pantry and not spend any money on shop and see how far I can stretch things.
28:49
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
28:50
SPEAKER_02: And that makes you be creative as well.
28:52
SPEAKER_02: You eat things you wouldn't normally, right?
28:54
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, like you know how many cans of peas or how many cans of you know, what are they called?
29:01
SPEAKER_00: Chickpeas.
29:02
SPEAKER_00: Chickpeas.
29:02
SPEAKER_00: Um I used to make my own hummus.
29:04
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, I love hummus.
29:05
SPEAKER_00: I can make my own mayo.
29:06
SPEAKER_00: Again, you don't need that much money to make your own mayo.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: It's actually quite cheap to make that.
29:11
SPEAKER_02: So it tastes so much better.
29:13
SPEAKER_00: So much better.
29:14
SPEAKER_00: And I think again, people have been disconnected from that because of the convenience of going out and eating out and convenience and time, yes.
29:24
SPEAKER_02: I and I find that you probably find that as well.
29:26
SPEAKER_02: We've got kids that are busy and we have sports and things in the afternoons and evenings.
29:31
SPEAKER_02: So definitely being prepared, having having some freezer meals, having some meals that take 10 minutes to prep rather than getting junk food or getting takeaways.
29:40
SPEAKER_00: Takeaways are so expensive.
29:42
SPEAKER_00: Takeaways are expensive, but also not healthy for you.
29:45
SPEAKER_00: And and recently I've heard this horror story.
29:47
SPEAKER_00: Do you want to hear?
29:49
SPEAKER_00: Always.
29:50
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna name the the place, but apparently someone got fired because they were doing some very unhanged eating things around the food.
29:57
SPEAKER_00: And it's a very, very popular place around Carpete.
30:00
SPEAKER_02: Um you'll have to tell me this afterwards.
30:03
SPEAKER_00: Yep, off mic.
30:04
SPEAKER_00: But that really put me off eating out now.
30:06
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, you don't know who's touched your food, right?
30:09
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
30:09
SPEAKER_00: And now I'm like, oh my god, I don't want to eat out anymore.
30:13
SPEAKER_00: After hearing that.
30:14
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, the person got fired, but that's even worse because like if that person got fired and now they got a job somewhere else, like, oof, where are they working now?
30:21
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
30:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm gonna tell you afterwards.
30:23
SPEAKER_02: Wash your hands, wash your hands, everyone.
30:25
SPEAKER_02: Do don't do stuff with food.
30:28
SPEAKER_02: Do it with your own food in your own house then.
30:30
SPEAKER_00: Yes, apparently he was like lying down on the food cart and you know, wheeling himself all over the shop on the food cart and then uh doing stuff, yeah.
30:38
SPEAKER_00: Oh, anyways.
30:39
SPEAKER_00: So my point is my point is that a lot of the time you can actually get quite creative.
30:46
SPEAKER_00: Recently I've been in love with my crock pot.
30:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes, and good for winter, right?
30:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, good for winter.
30:51
SPEAKER_00: And what I normally do is I just chuck some meat in there, yeah, and I put some sauce or whatever, and then just cooks by itself for the next four hours, five hours, yeah, and then I add a few more things to it, like we had pulled pork tacos, we had pulled pulled chicken tacos, we had all sorts of pulled things that you can.
31:09
SPEAKER_00: But it's great because I don't need to stand there and slave away in the kitchen, I can just chuck it in.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: So, my tip for people would be go and invest into a nice slow cooker.
31:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and just you know, get creative with that.
31:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and and making bulk meals.
31:24
SPEAKER_02: Bulk meals, yeah.
31:25
SPEAKER_02: Bulk meals is a really easy one.
31:26
SPEAKER_02: So, like when you're making like, I don't know, your macaroni cheese or your spaghetti bolognese, make make double.
31:31
SPEAKER_02: You can make that quite cheaply.
31:33
SPEAKER_02: Kids like it, you know.
31:35
SPEAKER_00: I find when I make double, the double disappears anyway.
31:37
SPEAKER_02: I find that too.
31:38
SPEAKER_02: We especially macaroni cheese.
31:40
SPEAKER_02: We all just eat it.
31:41
SPEAKER_02: We just eat double.
31:43
SPEAKER_02: So don't don't do one when you do.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: Maybe don't do that.
31:47
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, having free having easy freezer meals makes it.
31:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:50
SPEAKER_02: And it does it, and yes, you can be creative, but also you can be simple.
31:54
SPEAKER_02: Like a bag of frozen mixed veggies, your meat or your protein, you know, you can make it quite easy.
32:00
SPEAKER_00: I made um fried rice the other day for kids out of the white rice that we had.
32:04
SPEAKER_00: I think we had like a white rice with the curry or something.
32:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
32:06
SPEAKER_00: And the next day I had lots of white rice left, so I just chucked it in a walk and fried it with mixed vegetables and egg.
32:14
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, we're having fried rice for dinner.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's how you reframe things and how you market things to your kids.
32:21
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's what really that's you know, that's why the fast foods are so good at it because they know how to market to our children.
32:28
SPEAKER_00: Yes, the same six best chicken nuggets you can make at home for way less.
32:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you can buy a whole bag of chicken nuggets for the price of six at McDonald's.
32:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
32:40
SPEAKER_00: And I think you're not having the sugar sauce with it.
32:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
32:43
SPEAKER_02: I love that sauce.
32:44
SPEAKER_02: Because it's just sugar.
32:46
SPEAKER_02: Everyone loves it, it's addictive.
32:48
SPEAKER_00: So, in terms of eating, do you think your diet is good now compared to 16-year-old Lucy?
32:53
SPEAKER_00: 100%.
32:54
SPEAKER_00: What did 16-year-old Lucy eat?
32:56
SPEAKER_02: Low fat because was told it was healthy.
32:59
SPEAKER_00: What is low fat?
33:00
SPEAKER_02: Low fat.
33:00
SPEAKER_02: So I didn't I avoided fat in food.
33:02
SPEAKER_02: I ate everything light or low fat.
33:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
33:07
SPEAKER_02: I probably ate too much sugar, but not knowing it was sugar.
33:11
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
33:11
SPEAKER_02: Which I generally avoid sugar unless I'm deliberately having, you know, if you and I went out for like a slice or something, I know I'm having a sweet treat, but I wouldn't have sugar in my other food.
33:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
33:21
SPEAKER_02: And my tomato, canned tomatoes that I bought.
33:24
SPEAKER_02: So different.
33:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
33:26
SPEAKER_02: Alcohol.
33:26
SPEAKER_02: I eat a lot more protein.
33:28
SPEAKER_02: And I think I have a lot more muscle now than I had as a teenager.
33:34
SPEAKER_02: Like my uh belly is so much flatter, I've got, as you've seen, lots, I've got epic abs.
33:41
SPEAKER_02: So I eat a lot more protein.
33:43
SPEAKER_02: I probably eat much cleaner as well.
33:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
33:46
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's really nice for your clients that you've been through the journey yourself, that you can actually relate to them.
33:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm never gonna judge anyone.
33:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
33:54
SPEAKER_02: I'm not perfect.
33:55
SPEAKER_02: Still now, I'm not perfect.
33:56
SPEAKER_02: I I like food.
33:58
SPEAKER_02: Perfect to me.
34:00
unknown: Yes.
34:01
SPEAKER_02: I'm never gonna judge anyone because we're all human, right?
34:03
SPEAKER_02: We've got to enjoy ourselves, we've got to enjoy our lives.
34:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:06
SPEAKER_02: And we shouldn't be so harsh on ourselves.
34:08
SPEAKER_02: I think that's half of people's problem, is they're so self-critical about being a human.
34:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
34:15
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
34:16
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for sharing your story.
34:18
SPEAKER_00: I think I've learned so much more about you now.
34:20
SPEAKER_00: And in terms of your money goals, do you do you have money goals?
34:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:26
SPEAKER_02: It's all a bit sort of up in the air at the moment.
34:29
SPEAKER_02: I would like to be earning enough to support our whole household, which I'm not at the moment.
34:35
SPEAKER_02: But that is due to limitations like school hours and such.
34:39
SPEAKER_00: Kids, yeah.
34:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:40
SPEAKER_02: And which I will always choose.
34:42
SPEAKER_02: I will always choose my kids over.
34:43
SPEAKER_02: I would rather them be thriving and be there for them than earning extra money.
34:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:49
SPEAKER_02: But I'm yeah, I'm pretty comfortable where I am, but it can always improve, right?
34:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:54
SPEAKER_02: When are you going to retire?
34:57
unknown: A couple of years.
35:00
SPEAKER_00: I hope Gabe is listening to this.
35:02
SPEAKER_02: I'd like to retire young.
35:04
SPEAKER_02: I'd always like to do something though.
35:06
SPEAKER_02: I I don't think I could I I I like having projects, I like being busy, I like helping people, I like being involved in the community.
35:12
SPEAKER_02: So it would depend what retirement means.
35:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
35:16
SPEAKER_00: You all know I saw similar.
35:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm like listening to you, it's like listening to myself, really.
35:20
SPEAKER_00: That's interesting.
35:22
SPEAKER_00: So I want to have you back in about a year time.
35:28
SPEAKER_02: In a year, and see and see what my goals are.
35:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
35:31
SPEAKER_02: So I can be like, oh yeah, I'm I'm retired now, it's I Benito.
35:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
35:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
35:35
SPEAKER_00: Or even, you know, just share what else you've learned over the last because I think you have given some really good lessons.
35:41
SPEAKER_00: And if you were to die today, what message do you want people to remember you by?
35:45
SPEAKER_02: Uh, learn to love yourself.
35:48
SPEAKER_02: That's all.
35:49
SPEAKER_02: If you can learn to love yourself, you're gonna be a better person and you're gonna treat the world better.
35:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:55
SPEAKER_00: You'll make me cry, Lucy.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh no, you're making me cry.
35:58
SPEAKER_00: All right, let's go love each other.
36:00
SPEAKER_02: Um Isn't PG?
36:03
SPEAKER_00: On that note, this episode is over.
36:05
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for coming over.
36:07
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.