Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Embracing Discomfort: How Courage, Self-Leadership & Inner Peace Are Built with Meghan Locklair

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Embracing Discomfort: How Courage, Self-Leadership & Inner Peace Are Built with Meghan Locklair · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

• 0:09
  Alright. Hello, feel podcast audience.
• 0:12
  I'm so happy to be here today with the lovely.
• 0:16
  Megan Locklear. I know Megan through my daughter
• 0:20
  Sierra, primarily, all three of my daughters know, Meghan,
• 0:23
  Meghan has been a mentor and very dear friend to my daughter
• 0:27
  Sierra, as well as her husband, Tim.
• 0:29
  They Met through their time together in Southern California,
• 0:32
  when they Sierra joined FC a volleyball after being an intern
• 0:37
  there, Meghan was her leader as an intern and then became
• 0:42
  someone who hired rotten to work with her there and then handed
• 0:45
  it off to Sierra when Megan went on to do other great things.
• 0:49
  So that's how I got to know Megan.
• 0:51
  I got to share with Megan earlier today that through her
• 0:55
  leadership that she provided to Sierra into our daughters, a
• 0:59
  couple of Art. Key points are actually inspired
• 1:01
  by her. And it's really fun to be able
• 1:03
  to get to tell her that in person because I've never gotten
• 1:05
  to share that with her before. So that was a really cool thing
• 1:08
  to be able to share with Megan a day.
• 1:09
  You're gonna love hearing from this smart bright.
• 1:13
  I would say, Meghan is always been a person to me, that seems
• 1:17
  wise Beyond her years. She just add does things with
• 1:20
  such intention that I'm always intrigued by what she's doing
• 1:25
  because I know she doesn't ever do anything lightly without
• 1:29
  asking a lot of questions. The other question that Meghan
• 1:32
  really inspired is our Y and our values.
• 1:35
  That's another one that really came from what our daughters
• 1:38
  learned from her and then brought home to us.
• 1:39
  And said, we need to talk about some things about how we
• 1:42
  communicate and how we make decisions and Brady and I got
• 1:45
  dragged along, we eventually wised up to it.
• 1:49
  Meghan is easily inspired by a healthy leaders and teams and
• 1:54
  she is interested and motivated to work with those healthy
• 1:58
  leaders and teams and that is So true that is what drives her and
• 2:02
  it's that I would say another word I would test.
• 2:04
  She has such intentionality like it which really makes sense why
• 2:08
  she and see her and Tim or friends because those three
• 2:11
  humans are some of the most intentional people you'll ever
• 2:14
  meet in your life and Meghan. So, thankful to have you with us
• 2:19
  here today. Thanks for joining me.
• 2:20
  Yes, very excited to talk and catch up and yeah, anyone.
• 2:26
  And you also family gets a yes from me.
• 2:28
  Oh well, thank you so much. Much Mega hits.
• 2:30
  Another funny story about Megan. So Meghan has this darling
• 2:35
  little spot and Huntington Beach, California.
• 2:37
  Are you still in that spot? I am.
• 2:39
  Okay, it's just adorable. It's a few blocks from the
• 2:41
  beach. It's just darling, little spot,
• 2:43
  but Megan grew up in Charleston area and so she goes home for
• 2:48
  Christmas to Charleston every year.
• 2:50
  Well, when Megan vacated her spot, especially during
• 2:53
  covid-19, we were all trying to kind of be close together.
• 2:55
  Brady, and I would travel to Southern California for the
• 2:58
  holidays. We would stay in vacant a little
• 3:01
  cozy, spot are without her there, and she was visiting her
• 3:06
  family in Charleston. So she was always, so generous
• 3:09
  to share her space with us and we were always so thankful for
• 3:12
  that. So lots of fun connections with
• 3:15
  Megan and you're going to get to hear about what she has going on
• 3:19
  right now. And again, you get to hear from
• 3:21
  the original author of some of these talking points that I have
• 3:24
  stolen and, and made my own in his podcast to find.
• 3:29
  More about Meghan, you're going to going to want to know about
• 3:32
  some of these things she's involved with, what inspired me
• 3:34
  to call her lately. As she's got this new thing that
• 3:38
  she's involved with, you can find it on Instagram, called men
• 3:41
  and women of discomfort. I can't wait to hear about this.
• 3:44
  I was like, oh, I got to reach out to her.
• 3:46
  I'm so intrigued by what she's doing and that will all be in
• 3:50
  our sources notes that you can find on all of our socials on
• 3:55
  our website, embracing layers.com, so make sure to
• 3:59
  check those out. I'm Megan.
• 4:00
  We're going to jump right into it.
• 4:01
  Here. Megan spending some time with
• 4:03
  family. I think you just had a birthday.
• 4:06
  I did. Yes.
• 4:08
  My twin sister and my family. Yes.
• 4:10
  Do you hit that every year? Do you guys always get together?
• 4:12
  Have you ever missed a birthday able to get together?
• 4:15
  I haven't spent it here in Charleston in a few years
• 4:17
  because it's just perfect for the holidays that I don't fly
• 4:19
  home, but it was okay. Awesome, awesome.
• 4:24
  Well and she's able and and is now dr.
• 4:26
  Anna, she's vet correct. Yeah, so she's She's able to
• 4:30
  join dr. Anna and her and they look
• 4:33
  exactly alike. So, you're going to see this
• 4:35
  beautiful picture of Megan, and just know, there's another
• 4:38
  beautiful Anna, and the world. Oh my gosh.
• 4:42
  So wonderful. Wonderful.
• 4:44
  So, all right, Megan started off with how to prioritize self-care
• 4:49
  in your life. What does that look like for
• 4:51
  you? Great.
• 4:52
  So I'm going to take a hard right turn and it's based on
• 4:58
  this if I think we're calling a Experiment, but the men and
• 5:01
  women of discomfort group. I'd yeah, I'm approaching
• 5:04
  self-care. I'm flipping the script.
• 5:07
  And I'm redefining self-care around discomfort and not
• 5:12
  Comfort, who, because it's I self-care, it's usually around
• 5:16
  that conversation of, how do I get more me time?
• 5:19
  How do I get that massage? How do I go on the other hand?
• 5:23
  I'm not saying that you can't have those in your life, but
• 5:27
  comfort, as an ideal is kind of what But we're challenging a
• 5:31
  bit. Yeah, that like challenge
• 5:35
  inconvenience struggle. Overcoming as been kind of taken
• 5:38
  away as much as Society can take it away and we're kind of going
• 5:43
  through okay. What would it look like if we
• 5:46
  did the opposite of it? Like we Embrace discomfort and
• 5:49
  it's kind of around the the process that the world is a
• 5:55
  whirlwind and does hardship have two surprises.
• 5:59
  More time. Mmm, yeah, yeah, why are we so
• 6:03
  shocked? Why are you shouting an
• 6:05
  obstacle? You know sir?
• 6:07
  Yeah get ahead of it and instead of pursuing comfort and every
• 6:13
  area of our life was proactively embraced discomfort and
• 6:17
  increase, our capacity to handle hard things basically.
• 6:20
  So, yeah, so self-care. I think I read this recently,
• 6:26
  another way to describe self-care is kind of getting to
• 6:28
  your yourself. Up to a point of capacity to
• 6:33
  that you have capacity to extend to others, you know.
• 6:36
  Right? Right.
• 6:37
  Self-care. I don't think anyone's interest
• 6:39
  in self care is just lands on you.
• 6:42
  Mmm, I think, Mmm, specially but both men and women are starting
• 6:47
  to engage in understanding, like, okay, I to care for
• 6:50
  others. Well, I do not absolutely
• 6:53
  certain things for myself, you know, right.
• 6:55
  And so I think just the next conversation that we're adding
• 6:58
  right now and kind of experimenting with Is does
• 7:01
  self-care. It doesn't need to be centered
• 7:03
  around comfort and it should, should it be?
• 7:06
  And that's so it seems. That's what I mean, I am knew
• 7:09
  I'd be intrigued about this, because she always approaches
• 7:11
  things from this angle the maybe you wouldn't think about before,
• 7:15
  I mean, but then you sit with it a little bit.
• 7:17
  You're like, okay? Because I mean really if you
• 7:20
  think about it, if we can get comfortable being uncomfortable.
• 7:23
  Yeah. How much more peace and
• 7:24
  contentment would we have? Because so much of our angst is
• 7:28
  around those, okay? There's like, what is that next
• 7:31
  thing that's coming or being shocked when we get there?
• 7:34
  Whereas, we can if we can sit in it and be comfortable with that
• 7:37
  discomfort, we can, it doesn't. Yeah.
• 7:41
  We don't get shaken out of our, you know, peace and contentment.
• 7:44
  At any time, something comes up so I can see, but, yeah.
• 7:48
  But that's not. That's not our inclination,
• 7:50
  that's in our human. Inclination to go towards that
• 7:53
  know. It's really well.
• 7:55
  Nobody wants to embrace this Comfort.
• 7:57
  Somebody actually told me. Like, that's the most Ridiculous
• 8:00
  name like men and women discomfort.
• 8:02
  I never heard my entire life and I think our response is like,
• 8:06
  it's not for everybody. It's literally not.
• 8:08
  It can be. Yeah, not.
• 8:10
  Well, you have to decide going into it.
• 8:12
  I mean, I think it all goes back to that whole thing right now
• 8:15
  that we're really going to move the needle on anything in our
• 8:18
  lives, in this country, and this world, we have to continue to be
• 8:21
  curious. Continue to willing to learn and
• 8:26
  and you have to have those two things in if you're before, you
• 8:28
  can even walk into To being curious about this and being
• 8:32
  willing to walk into discomfort. So I can't I can't wait to see
• 8:35
  what you learned. I feel like we're going to have
• 8:37
  you back later and be like, all right give us a report, your a
• 8:39
  year in. How's it going?
• 8:41
  What are you? Finding?
• 8:42
  But I think it's bad for the people that are willing to take
• 8:44
  the dive. I think that's going to be
• 8:46
  really interesting and amazing to see what our where it leads
• 8:51
  and why not? Let's find some tanks that are
• 8:54
  going to to work and move the needle.
• 8:58
  I love that, okay. All right.
• 8:59
  It's confidently, setting boundaries, I your boundaries
• 9:03
  Queen, so this is going to be. I feel like you should probably
• 9:06
  write a textbook on some of these talking points, but talk
• 9:09
  to me about back, touch me about your journey with boundaries.
• 9:12
  I mean, what point did you be, like, did you realize this was
• 9:16
  something that was important? That was necessary and how to do
• 9:19
  it in a healthy way, right? Well, I think so, the tension
• 9:25
  that I think I started holding when I started so many, Many
• 9:29
  people gave me that book boundaries.
• 9:31
  And to be honest, yes, something about figuring it out for myself
• 9:38
  and as a Christian, figuring out what God has to say about
• 9:42
  boundaries because I saw a stint that Like a vast majority of
• 9:49
  people were going to the direction of like idolizing
• 9:54
  individualism. I don't even know if that's a
• 9:57
  word. I just made it up and I think it
• 9:59
  lands. How big this?
• 10:00
  I think it sounds good. It sounds like a word I just
• 10:02
  made people realizing like. Okay, let's take a step back and
• 10:10
  figure out what's the bigger picture here and it comes back
• 10:13
  to will get two values. I think later on in the
• 10:15
  conversation, but I think that I recognize.
• 10:18
  Okay, boundaries, I think increases with age as long as
• 10:23
  your self-awareness is increasing along with your aging
• 10:27
  process. No.
• 10:29
  So, the boundaries that I have set right now with vastly
• 10:31
  different than two years ago and absolutely think I have the
• 10:34
  foresight or thank God that gave me the foresight.
• 10:37
  That okay, there's a tension between knowing your values, you
• 10:41
  know, there's a great learning values that we've got even in
• 10:43
  high school. Okay?
• 10:44
  Sure, despite you don't quite know your why.
• 10:48
  Are your values quite yet. But you understand like okay I'm
• 10:50
  committed to learning and not getting in trouble out there
• 10:57
  decisions here, we're going to live, you know, to actually my
• 11:00
  current team as a valued, make your mom proud and it kind of
• 11:02
  like summarizes all those values like and share stay away from
• 11:06
  drugs, you know, don't drink too much.
• 11:08
  You know, those kinds of like Baseline gems.
• 11:11
  Sure. We get past that there's like
• 11:14
  you know, deeper values where you're motivated when you wake
• 11:17
  up excited. Cited to step into what you're
• 11:19
  doing even if it's impossible. Yeah, and so let's say, 10 years
• 11:23
  ago, if I had just one to decide of like know who I am and my
• 11:29
  values. Everything else is no, there
• 11:31
  wouldn't have been this open mindset that I had.
• 11:34
  So our attention of like, okay, I'm clear in my values and this
• 11:38
  is what I say yes to. And then I've got an open set of
• 11:42
  margin in my life that I get to say, yes to things that I'm not
• 11:46
  quite sure about. Right, and so ten years.
• 11:50
  So if I were to compare, you know what boundaries looks like.
• 11:53
  Now versus then I had a lot more like, let's say when it comes to
• 11:57
  time, a lot more times than yes to things that might end up
• 12:00
  being a waste of my time. Yes.
• 12:02
  Yeah, yeah. Maybe and that's just the
• 12:05
  discovery process. Like I might discover your
• 12:07
  values and that's where the open mindset, I think is important as
• 12:11
  in the boundaries conversation and because boundaries could
• 12:15
  turn into walls really quickly. Absolutely.
• 12:18
  No. Absolutely.
• 12:19
  And I see her in Tim and I had a conversation with them last fall
• 12:23
  in the podcast and Tim has a really great word that he's is
• 12:26
  guardrails. He's like I didn't want to feel
• 12:29
  like I was putting this wall up. So I've got these guardrails
• 12:33
  that are like open, we can bounce off of them but there's
• 12:36
  also room and it is to Snuff and I thought that's a really
• 12:40
  interesting way to look at it because I think, yeah,
• 12:42
  boundaries can become something that become prohibitive in.
• 12:47
  Rather than helpful. I mean there for us to allow us
• 12:51
  to not over stretch ourselves, but I think, especially when you
• 12:54
  get into relationships, you've got to be mindful that they're
• 12:57
  not blockades ear, they put in there there to create protective
• 13:02
  safe space for you. Whatever that looks like, but
• 13:05
  not wear that you're imposing on the other people, you know?
• 13:08
  And I think that can get really tricky, like this is where I'm
• 13:11
  at. This is why I've created this
• 13:14
  space. It is up to you on your end on
• 13:17
  how you You navigate that I'm not going to tell you that
• 13:19
  instead of and I think sometimes we come in hard especially early
• 13:23
  on when we've never done it before.
• 13:24
  When bound like I really like Had No Boundaries in my life
• 13:28
  three years ago and when Sierra and the girls came home and
• 13:32
  start telling me I'm Banner I've boundaries I'm your mother
• 13:34
  there's no boundaries for my sake I'm yeah excuse me so you
• 13:39
  tend to go in like hot first and then you got to kind of pull
• 13:43
  back and be like okay I've got to leave some room for nuance
• 13:46
  and flexibility And changing my mind, you know, so yeah, I think
• 13:53
  staying open to like, there's maybe three values in my life,
• 13:57
  that they're not moving those roots are right.
• 13:59
  You know? And then honestly, there's
• 14:01
  there's been moments with some of the team's I'm working on
• 14:04
  where they're kind of looking for my input and I'm like,
• 14:06
  literally I'm on the fence. I actually have no opinion on
• 14:09
  this and I'm not going to make it up because there's a few
• 14:11
  other voice there that do care about this because it's part of
• 14:14
  their value system are rely on them, too.
• 14:17
  The boundaries, you know? Yeah, well I think with, you
• 14:21
  know, withholding that tension, the clear that someone gets, you
• 14:25
  know, as they like age and mature.
• 14:29
  I just think that it's just an equal formula of like the clear
• 14:33
  you are in your highest values. You get clear and what you say,
• 14:37
  yes and no to you, get clear on how you interact.
• 14:40
  You know, I've the boundaries application really came up with,
• 14:43
  okay, what when it comes to language about people.
• 14:48
  How we talk about people that are in the room and not in the
• 14:51
  room and yeah, there and that's like one of my top values and
• 14:56
  it's crazy when you when you remove options with boundaries
• 15:00
  sometimes Freedom happens, you know?
• 15:02
  Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah.
• 15:04
  When all of a sudden, you know, okay that's not allowed.
• 15:06
  I'm not going to say those things about that person.
• 15:09
  When they're not in the room for me, that just takes that up
• 15:11
  table. It's like, okay, alright, that's
• 15:13
  gone. And that's all really.
• 15:15
  I'm glad you brought that one up because that was a really key.
• 15:17
  He won. I remember the girls mentioning
• 15:19
  very early I'm like, that's really important, you know?
• 15:22
  And then and then Having the courage that if you violate that
• 15:26
  in some way to be able to go to that person and be like because
• 15:30
  I honor our relationship and I trust our relationship so much.
• 15:34
  I want you to know that this happened and I think that is a
• 15:37
  whole, you know, that's a hold of a bit bit, starting there in
• 15:40
  that space and just knowing. But yeah, the freedom piece I
• 15:42
  think is really big. I feel like we could talk about
• 15:44
  this all day, but thank you so much for your Put on that, I
• 15:47
  really appreciate that. All right.
• 15:49
  Taking care of our emotional health as much as our physical
• 15:53
  health, and what are some practices you have in place to
• 15:56
  process your emotion in a healthy way?
• 15:58
  So they don't get stored up in your body.
• 16:00
  This has been a big one for me. I carried stuff for years and it
• 16:04
  showed up like a Mack truck. When I was 50 years old you all
• 16:08
  are much smarter and on top of your game sooner and got on this
• 16:12
  stuff in your 20s. But talk to me about practices
• 16:15
  you have in place for that. Yeah.
• 16:17
  Well, there's two kind of main goals.
• 16:20
  I'm working on personally that I'll share with you and, and
• 16:24
  they kind of get into like nerdy science stuff.
• 16:29
  So I'll yeah. Gabor or gabbar, Gabor, Gabor.
• 16:34
  Mate, is someone I'm reading recently.
• 16:36
  Mmm, they're really close friend of mine and he is basically
• 16:41
  bringing data to the table, but shows the mind-body connection
• 16:46
  of Wow, important. It is to express, you know,
• 16:53
  anger, emotion, you know, and I think I feel like we skip that
• 16:57
  step and just talked about, you know, at best, if you are angry.
• 17:01
  This is how you deal with it. And it might take me about like,
• 17:04
  suppression, or curving it, you know, before it became about
• 17:08
  like Freedom or yes, priority of expressing, and yeah, for things
• 17:13
  and making requests. And so, he's just putting some
• 17:16
  interesting. Information and data from, I
• 17:19
  think two decades of his research.
• 17:21
  Wow, in front of the world right now through his books and
• 17:24
  teachings about what what happens to the body, when we
• 17:29
  don't make requests and what we need, whether it's social
• 17:31
  support or expressing an emotion, you know, that is
• 17:37
  surfacing in. You sure happens in the body and
• 17:41
  it kind of learning about that. It's starting to make sense in
• 17:45
  my mind of David staying in the body.
• 17:47
  D. That means it's yeah.
• 17:49
  It's got to go somewhere. Yes.
• 17:51
  And yeah. How does it like?
• 17:52
  Does it manifest physically? And he saying yes.
• 17:54
  And so I'm just it's I hesitate to bring it up because it's
• 17:58
  stuff that what I barely know anything about it but it's
• 18:01
  something that I'm learning. Yeah.
• 18:03
  Like there's just good data behind like, at a gut level, you
• 18:10
  know what intuitively makes sense to us.
• 18:12
  Yeah, words of expression and asking for help and if you're if
• 18:16
  you're someone like A mother or the take care of our kids or
• 18:21
  taking care of your parents, you know, he's kind of gearing
• 18:24
  towards like the people that are near rivers.
• 18:28
  Sure. Kind of toll that takes on the
• 18:30
  body. Absolutely.
• 18:31
  And how to go about putting up support systems around yourself
• 18:35
  and anyways. So that's the first one in the
• 18:37
  second one, I'm a little bit more versatile talking about and
• 18:40
  that's the conversation that my personal experience is not
• 18:43
  talked about enough and that's just a difference of female
• 18:45
  body. So yeah.
• 18:47
  Yes. Yes, I didn't like female gyms
• 18:54
  and never move with your hormones and how that affects
• 18:58
  your nutrition, your movement, how your cravings.
• 19:03
  And so on, within the men and women of discomfort group, I
• 19:07
  lead a sidebar conversation with the women.
• 19:10
  Nice informing like high-level. Okay.
• 19:13
  The first two weeks of your cycle.
• 19:15
  This is we're not. There's a lot of It's happening.
• 19:18
  But let's just talk here, you know, sure the second half your
• 19:22
  cycle and we can start getting ahead of the times where we
• 19:27
  understand what's happening in our body is beautiful.
• 19:29
  You know the and reframe. How were relating with our body?
• 19:33
  Yes. And it's not, and it's for us
• 19:35
  not against us. Yeah it may feel you have cramps
• 19:38
  don't feel that great but remember, we're finding a
• 19:41
  comfortable, you know. Yeah, yes.
• 19:43
  Yeah, you admit and this is what's happening in your body
• 19:47
  and it's Actually good saving her life ever seen one and but
• 19:50
  then also we go through kind of a check-in process each week of
• 19:55
  look at like where you at your cycle based on what we know is
• 19:58
  coming up, how do you get out of it this week?
• 20:00
  And it's crazy. I mean, some of these women are
• 20:04
  40, 50, 60 years old and never thought like all right halfway
• 20:08
  through my cycle, I didn't know that.
• 20:10
  This is what happens and so sometimes without awareness, we
• 20:14
  can fall victim to things pretty quickly and I think think we're
• 20:18
  about, how do we cultivate agency over that and for
• 20:21
  females, I just think that it's empowering to know this is
• 20:24
  what's happening with your hormones, your app running like,
• 20:28
  you know, a month long cycle where men are getting Hormones
• 20:33
  like every 24 hours. So how do we can't compare
• 20:37
  ourselves to our apartment? No energy and capacity
• 20:40
  consistently to every day, you know?
• 20:42
  Yeah, we're getting fed differently because we are built
• 20:45
  differently God. So so both.
• 20:49
  Yeah, amazing. There's really, no difference.
• 20:51
  There's a lot of habits that we Implement within the men and
• 20:54
  women of discomfort gonna be Journey.
• 20:57
  The only thing that's different is the intermittent fasting and
• 21:00
  that's just what we curb like, A couple of hours like per day for
• 21:05
  the women's side of that Level Playing Field, you know, we're
• 21:09
  yeah, beautiful like Creations but there's just a conversation
• 21:13
  that can happen on the women's side of.
• 21:15
  You're not more emotional, you're just more intuitive at
• 21:18
  certain time. Yes, I do.
• 21:19
  I love that language. Change think that's so
• 21:22
  fantastic. I'm like, I'm not eating my head
• 21:24
  vigorously. Y'all can't see me, but I'm not
• 21:26
  in my head vigorously because this is part of what inspired me
• 21:29
  to go on this journey. I got hit with things including
• 21:32
  Hormone stuff. But no one talked to me about
• 21:34
  including my female doctors, my female doctors that I will
• 21:39
  literally learning between 45 and 50.
• 21:42
  Mm, like why aren't we having these conversations For Heaven's
• 21:45
  Sake? And so I think upside for my
• 21:47
  kit, my daughter's, I'm like all right.
• 21:49
  These are the questions you're asking.
• 21:51
  These are the tendencies in our family.
• 21:53
  One of our, our initial team that helped me found the
• 21:58
  podcast, Valencia Saint Louis. She was our original editor
• 22:01
  producer. She has her own Instagram called
• 22:05
  flowing sink because she's taken a deep dive into what happens to
• 22:09
  your body throughout the month and she has figured out ways.
• 22:12
  She knows when she's going to be more productive, she knows when
• 22:15
  she's going to be more creative, she knows when she's going to
• 22:18
  have more energy and when it's not when it's time to sit back
• 22:21
  and rest a little more, like she's got it figured out and
• 22:24
  she's got this whole like diet and exercise regime that she
• 22:28
  adjusts each week, based on where her cycle is and how her
• 22:32
  body. Spawns to it, she's gotten to a
• 22:34
  point. If this, she's pretty much
• 22:36
  minimized to her cramping, like it's not that it's not there but
• 22:40
  she just has learned how to Body Works and she's gone on.
• 22:42
  She shares it on her Instagram site and she channels a lot of
• 22:45
  other people. I feel like you guys should talk
• 22:47
  I'll I'm going to share your information with her because
• 22:49
  she's she's taking a whole dive into this and she's you know
• 22:52
  she's around Kylie she's between Kylie and Courtney's age.
• 22:55
  So she's doing this in order mid-20s and I'm like thank God
• 22:59
  and a lot of it was born out of these conversations that her and
• 23:02
  I I would have them. I get on this stuff.
• 23:04
  Now, it is insane to me that I had to get to the point.
• 23:08
  I was at 50 years old before any, and, and was by me
• 23:14
  continuing to pound on doors and demand answers of what's
• 23:18
  happening in my body. And and I, you know, I was, you
• 23:22
  know, halfway through menopause before there was any kind of
• 23:26
  conversation going on about it. And just, I love how you turn
• 23:29
  the table on that intuitive versus And all part everybody's
• 23:33
  heard about the emotional woman and it's like let's track this
• 23:37
  change the narrative here and and change how we talk about
• 23:41
  these things. So you also mentioned something
• 23:43
  earlier that I think was really important in talking about anger
• 23:45
  that we tend to get so consumed with not sinning in our anger
• 23:50
  that we don't deal with the anger.
• 23:52
  Yeah. You don't we don't you know and
• 23:55
  one of the things my therapist said to me she was you got to
• 23:57
  get that anger out. You can't just like try to hurry
• 24:01
  up and deal with it and then get to the The other side of it,
• 24:03
  it's not gone. You got to express it and
• 24:05
  there's healthy ways to do that. So I'm really glad you brought
• 24:08
  that up to, but I love that you're having these
• 24:09
  conversations in this context because we have to normalize it.
• 24:14
  It has to be an expectation that we are doing that.
• 24:18
  And it's not considered uncomfortable or inappropriate,
• 24:24
  right? No, this is our body that was
• 24:27
  created and it was intended to not be hidden or be.
• 24:32
  Any kind of Shame around having or embarrassment about having
• 24:36
  these very important conversations.
• 24:38
  So that's, that's exciting. So, you're just seeing too many
• 24:42
  narratives kind of written by, you know, my female friends or
• 24:46
  people within my network that had a certain emotion and
• 24:55
  instead of allowing the emotion to kind of point to something,
• 24:59
  you know. Sure.
• 25:00
  He's just like, where am I at with my hormones?
• 25:02
  Yeah, or is like is there an external circumstance?
• 25:06
  And that's where I saw shame. Start kind of sprouting was
• 25:10
  external circumstance. That's making me feel down or
• 25:13
  flat, but I feel that way. So maybe I'm depressed and it's
• 25:17
  that moment that I'm like, let's just inform a different option
• 25:22
  in that moment of, no, wait, wait, wait, let's not title it.
• 25:25
  Because it gives it power, which I open to, there's hormones that
• 25:29
  are happening. I don't obviously, the world
• 25:31
  hasn't gotten to a point. In a being able to explain
• 25:33
  hormones in a simple enough way that people can absorb it and
• 25:36
  have her go to okay? Maybe like there's, you know,
• 25:40
  the three key hormones that are happening in my body.
• 25:42
  They dip all the same time at certain point.
• 25:45
  Wow, your cycle. And so it's going to you're
• 25:49
  going to feel this this mess so. So I think it's getting ahead of
• 25:54
  narratives that get away from us as women base just feel when
• 25:58
  it's really like to take a second.
• 26:00
  And so I think practically Lee, my biggest tactic that I've
• 26:06
  applied knowing this is, if I'm aware of certain like time to
• 26:10
  the month, okay? Like don't make a decision right
• 26:13
  now. Yes.
• 26:15
  Yeah, I'm not in the mindset this week.
• 26:17
  This is not what my body's operating for next.
• 26:19
  Week's going to be a lot better, right?
• 26:21
  Don't Define it right now? See how it plays out.
• 26:23
  Give it a few days just kind of sit tight.
• 26:27
  Yeah. No, I think that's great.
• 26:28
  And I think another thing too is feelings, are there to let us
• 26:31
  know? Something's going on?
• 26:32
  Yes, and in diving into that, okay?
• 26:34
  This is and not calling them to me.
• 26:38
  There's no such thing as a bad emotion.
• 26:40
  We've got this whole like negative emotions.
• 26:42
  Positive emotions are emotions. They're there to inform us.
• 26:45
  Yes, some feel better than others.
• 26:47
  That's true, or they feel more comfortable.
• 26:50
  Not uncomfortable. Like we've talked about, but but
• 26:52
  they're doing for Miss. And so let's let's get to the
• 26:55
  nut of what they're trying to tell.
• 26:56
  Us. And then like for women, look at
• 26:58
  the week you're in of, that makes sense.
• 27:00
  Now I know this about my body that's expected and you're ready
• 27:04
  for it. You're not surprised by it,
• 27:05
  you've got tools to deal with it so such good stuff.
• 27:09
  So yeah, I knew I knew you were going to have great stuff on
• 27:11
  this. All right, I'm excited to hear
• 27:15
  how those conversations go as this goes on because so
• 27:17
  important because it does it has an effect on us and affects our
• 27:20
  whole our mental health, or physical health, our emotional
• 27:23
  health, it's all. It's all connected.
• 27:25
  All right. You are a Champion at this and
• 27:28
  you're not a champion of this with just women.
• 27:29
  But with people period, that how can we support ourselves and
• 27:33
  other women in living unapologetically?
• 27:38
  Great question. So, coming back to the values, I
• 27:44
  just don't know how to live. And when I, if I take a step
• 27:49
  back and define unapologetically, it's just
• 27:51
  owning your life. There's this new word.
• 27:53
  Is he going around? You know.
• 27:55
  Yeah, yeah. There's always a new term for
• 27:57
  kind of the same thing. I didn't happen, like 50 years
• 28:01
  ago. Out the agency.
• 28:03
  And I think on ya done, applauded unapologetically can
• 28:09
  go towards like this, Rogue like tension kind of her eyes are
• 28:14
  clear of Leia has got to be myself.
• 28:16
  You do you that entire? Okay?
• 28:18
  Yeah, and if I see like, the best case scenario, if we go
• 28:24
  that route under the term, unapologetically is another
• 28:28
  Society with a lot of siloed people doing there.
• 28:31
  You know, I'll hit the wall hard but by themselves, but by
• 28:34
  themselves and I just even as an introvert.
• 28:38
  I just think we're wired for to be in the context of the group
• 28:41
  hundred percent. Yeah.
• 28:43
  So so answering this question, like, through the lens of.
• 28:47
  Okay. How do you live unapologetically
• 28:50
  with the group in mind? Yeah, I was like that's the
• 28:54
  focus for me and it's answering this question and so if There is
• 28:59
  like a sequence that I mapped out in my mind of, you know,
• 29:03
  from point A to point B. Right?
• 29:05
  So point, a is like the beginning spot where we're not
• 29:09
  owning our values because we're not aware of our values, you
• 29:12
  know. Yeah, yeah, it's fine.
• 29:15
  This is, you know, a best like the elementary school or middle
• 29:18
  schooler that is just figuring out how to make Trends in
• 29:22
  person. Yeah values conversation may be
• 29:25
  informed by the parents but unaware, okay.
• 29:28
  And then the next Step in there. A positive direction would be
• 29:32
  aware but maybe not owning yet. Mmm, so that's I know my values.
• 29:38
  But when there's peer pressure, you know.
• 29:40
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 29:41
  Do not own and stick with my boundaries.
• 29:45
  Yeah. And then the third step is
• 29:47
  really great. That's like awareness and I'm
• 29:49
  owning it. So I know who I am.
• 29:52
  I'm owning it even You know, love's ones with the best of
• 29:56
  interest for me or telling me that's not the best decision,
• 29:58
  you know? Sure.
• 30:00
  Yeah. Well, I'm taking your account,
• 30:01
  my values, but I'm owning it. And that's, this is where the
• 30:05
  conversation I think, usually stops.
• 30:08
  And I'm asking for it to go one step further.
• 30:11
  Sure. We're aware of our values were
• 30:16
  owning them, so living unapologetically.
• 30:19
  But there's this respect for others trying to do the same
• 30:24
  thing. Sure and whatever, I don't care
• 30:27
  whatever that looks like. As long as people are trying to
• 30:30
  figure that out, you know, I feel like there's a healthier
• 30:34
  direction of how can we as individuals?
• 30:38
  Live unapologetically, with the context of the group in mind,
• 30:42
  you know, like, getting that my values and decisions.
• 30:45
  So in those actually affect others and I, that, I don't
• 30:47
  know, I don't know if you see it, but I'm starting to see.
• 30:50
  The group is almost getting lost for the sake of the individual
• 30:54
  feeling permission to be themselves 100%.
• 30:56
  And we're not doing well with it because we're built to be in
• 30:59
  community and we were built to be together.
• 31:01
  And, you know, for this for me, it's like if I'm living at
• 31:04
  apologetically, it's my responsibility.
• 31:08
  Tea as a human, as a woman to help others, do the same and to
• 31:13
  give them permission. Like I'm inviting you into this
• 31:16
  with me. This is this is this is how I
• 31:18
  found my path to Freedom. Come along with me and making
• 31:21
  room for all of that and getting rid of this whole scarcity idea
• 31:26
  that's out there. It's like there's room for all
• 31:28
  of us. Let's come and do this together.
• 31:30
  I'm going to encourage you. You encourage me because I don't
• 31:33
  think in my opinion I don't think.
• 31:38
  You can truly call it an apologetic, if you're living
• 31:41
  siloed, because you're not opening yourself up to feedback
• 31:46
  or support or the ability to. I mean, one of the ways I live
• 31:50
  unapologetically is by feeding into young younger women and
• 31:55
  mentoring. I've been in a lot, you know,
• 31:57
  and a lot of in those spaces that is what in enables me to do
• 32:01
  it having these conversations. And so I'm so glad you mentioned
• 32:05
  that because we are better together.
• 32:08
  Either we need each other. We as women in this day and age,
• 32:12
  we need each other. We cannot be fighting each
• 32:15
  other. We've there's enough out there
• 32:18
  trying to tell us otherwise that if we don't do it together we're
• 32:23
  not going to worry. We won't do it.
• 32:25
  We just we can't it's not possible.
• 32:27
  So I'm really glad you brought up that Silo piece because I
• 32:30
  think that's so important as we're going into this because
• 32:33
  you come up and especially as a mom of three Daughters, I came
• 32:39
  up in a very, very, very patriarchal, Mormon space.
• 32:44
  And so, I busted out of that, when I went to college and Brady
• 32:50
  came up in a Catholic space, he busted out of that, you know, we
• 32:54
  both busted out of that. But all right, we got three
• 32:56
  girls were in a Brazen to the independent strong and they
• 33:00
  don't have to do that. I'm like, you don't have to get
• 33:02
  married, you don't have to have children and it was all
• 33:05
  well-intentioned, but we had to kind of circle back around.
• 33:07
  Sounds like, but we still love each other and we still need
• 33:10
  each other said, sisters your on each other teams and your for
• 33:14
  each other. So I feel like my generation was
• 33:16
  kind of like, well, intentioned with this whole, I Am Woman hear
• 33:22
  me roar because that's kind of how I had to operate in my space
• 33:26
  to even be heard, then bring it back, you know?
• 33:29
  And they've gone back and they've done a good job with
• 33:31
  that. And we've come back and had
• 33:32
  family conversations about, okay, how this is how this looks
• 33:35
  in a healthy space, right? Where I'm not just trying to
• 33:38
  Down down the doors. With unhealthy people.
• 33:40
  Operating in an unhealthy way. I am, we're doing this together,
• 33:45
  we are for each other and we're going to root for each other.
• 33:48
  And I think that's where you are, truly, because you're Freer
• 33:52
  when you're living that way. So, yeah, there's, there's
• 33:55
  someone that I've never met but he's impacted my life.
• 33:59
  His name's, Tim Kruger, and he helped start the men of
• 34:02
  discomfort. So, this is pre well, okay, so,
• 34:04
  okay, good discomfort and hearing his story.
• 34:08
  I think there's a pattern of people that live
• 34:10
  unapologetically but have kind of a force around them and it's
• 34:14
  people like if I were to identify the pattern, it would
• 34:17
  be people that are so clear and who they are that they can
• 34:23
  really just keep their eyes down.
• 34:25
  Have no no interest in spreading you know they're bad.
• 34:30
  Just be right. Like just so in tune with
• 34:32
  themselves and so disciplined. So yeah we're the other days
• 34:36
  like self confidence comes from Key.
• 34:38
  Commitments to yourself, and you can tell when somebody with
• 34:41
  self-confidence walks into the room and so behind that is when
• 34:45
  you have those commitments to yourself.
• 34:46
  And so his story, he started this with Dean Sanders like in
• 34:50
  2015. Hmm.
• 34:52
  I think they were kind of like drifting through life.
• 34:54
  You know about it hits ya. Right at 50 and they're like,
• 34:57
  how do ya or the drift? Yeah, yes.
• 35:00
  There we will do that. Easy like Society, everything
• 35:05
  with an easy button and so they're just like, How do we
• 35:08
  just backfire on that? And that's where like, the
• 35:12
  experiment of what if we tried to live as uncomfortable as we
• 35:16
  possibly could? And so they were do things.
• 35:18
  I've heard like, you know, one go to the YMCA for workout like
• 35:22
  5 a.m. but then they park in the parking spot.
• 35:25
  Like the farthest away from the front door, you know.
• 35:32
  Yes. And people would try and join
• 35:35
  and Tim would be like that's going out for you.
• 35:38
  You know, you got a. Wow.
• 35:39
  And but what they were doing and how he was living on site, Dane.
• 35:46
  It was catching attention, you know?
• 35:47
  And I were, you have about this group, you know?
• 35:50
  Yeah. And he was diagnosed with
• 35:54
  cancer. Maybe two years ago?
• 35:58
  Oh well. And passed away January 1st of
• 36:01
  this year. Oh wow.
• 36:03
  Like almost to the day of me reaching out today in and being
• 36:06
  a basking in like Like this women of discomfort think and we
• 36:09
  get it going and had just passed away.
• 36:12
  And Dane will tell you that his most awake year was his last
• 36:19
  year of life. Wow.
• 36:21
  And as he Dutton comfortable in the discomfort, you all?
• 36:26
  Yes. It's made of extremely faithful,
• 36:31
  man. So strong in faith, but the
• 36:34
  practice of, you know, values that actually like, Finally
• 36:38
  played out in action, you know, influences life enough that
• 36:42
  someone who's never met him you know, you sure here's me.
• 36:47
  So that. Yeah, if I were to just add an
• 36:51
  extra asterisk to the live unapologetically it, be someone
• 36:55
  that's just so content with their values and how they live
• 37:00
  it out that even without trying you're grabbing attention
• 37:03
  influencing, you know they've got a yeah.
• 37:07
  Wow, no, that's that's a great example.
• 37:10
  And there's a few out there. I mean there's a few that come
• 37:12
  to mind but it's definitely not the rule, but what if we could
• 37:15
  all get there? I mean oh my gosh, how much
• 37:18
  peace and you know the irony of this search for peace and
• 37:21
  contentment and happiness all the time.
• 37:23
  When actually it's going a different route than maybe
• 37:26
  you've you're going on right now.
• 37:28
  You're thinking, it's kind of the opposite of what you think
• 37:30
  it might be. Oh man.
• 37:32
  Oh wow, okay, we could talk about that forever.
• 37:34
  Alright, thanks so much for your thoughts and that really good.
• 37:37
  Good thoughts on that. Okay, we're going to here's the
• 37:39
  values. Question, Meghan is the queen of
• 37:42
  coming back to your why in values but talk to me about your
• 37:45
  journey on that. When did you land here?
• 37:47
  Like where you just kind of intrinsically born that way,
• 37:52
  talk to me about your journey with that because you are on
• 37:55
  that and on that I think at an earlier age than a lot of people
• 37:58
  get there so I watch Simonson X, Ted Talk in 2012, and that's
• 38:05
  that's just where it started just to land the plane.
• 38:07
  Yeah, I watched that and I had someone a guy named Jason Miller
• 38:12
  Mentor me through that. I was stepping into leadership
• 38:14
  for the first time and we was so much more qualified to do a job
• 38:22
  that I had just been given. And so I remember showing up on
• 38:26
  Monday mornings. He had said like every Monday
• 38:28
  two hours to help Empower me to lead the department within my
• 38:33
  job, okay? And I, my expectation going.
• 38:37
  Into those meetings was to like sit back.
• 38:40
  You know, bring my journal in my notebook.
• 38:43
  Just tell me what to do, you know.
• 38:45
  Yeah. And he was the first person that
• 38:48
  was like booop. Here's the Whiteboard marker and
• 38:52
  he sat down on the couch and he just started asking me
• 38:54
  questions. I am it was all centered around
• 38:57
  discovering. The why in the values for that
• 39:01
  internship? That I ultimately pass off to
• 39:03
  Europe and the paradigm shift. Going from anyone and everyone
• 39:10
  can get clear in what you do. Okay.
• 39:13
  Not that movie really Federal. Yeah.
• 39:16
  Why not that many people clarify why they want to do that.
• 39:21
  Let alone put it into words. Sure, no.
• 39:24
  So watching, I think watching the Simon snack video and being
• 39:29
  my dog just complicate. Pushing the Simon sinek video
• 39:33
  and understanding like, okay, part of the brain.
• 39:36
  There's a part of our brain that makes it most decision that
• 39:39
  doesn't have capacity for language.
• 39:41
  Okay, so what does that mean? Now we have yeah, ask ourselves
• 39:45
  questions and just sit and think just like 10 seconds longer, you
• 39:49
  know? Yeah, yeah.
• 39:50
  We're to ask somebody what they did yesterday.
• 39:52
  That's the part of our brain that has capacity for language
• 39:55
  and that's the easiest to spout off.
• 39:56
  But that's not what sure Vision, you know, that's not fires us.
• 40:00
  And so if we're wanting to one, find intrinsic motivation for
• 40:05
  ourselves to make decisions for our own lines.
• 40:07
  Then talk to you want to start the leadership conversation of
• 40:10
  inspiring people to action. I don't know how to do it
• 40:13
  without the why involve, right, absolutely absolutely.
• 40:16
  You've got a build from there and but we don't but that's not.
• 40:20
  You see so many people organizations going with the
• 40:25
  what? And the where and the how, but
• 40:28
  they don't know, they're just operational.
• 40:30
  And there's no y behind it and then they wonder why people
• 40:33
  aren't happy or fulfilled or they have a lot of turnover
• 40:37
  because And if you any, if you, you know, one know what your
• 40:40
  values are and then be able to, you know, espouse those in a way
• 40:44
  that gets by in and brings people along to so important.
• 40:47
  Yeah. Simonson egg is a genius.
• 40:49
  I'm I mean I didn't find him till probably twenty fourteen or
• 40:58
  fifteen, its first time I bumped into him and I was it was Brady
• 41:02
  and I both kind of did at the same time and it might have been
• 41:05
  from Sierra for me. I don't remember that.
• 41:07
  Probably a bit. It was just like, oh my gosh,
• 41:09
  this is, you know, it's not when you think about it, it makes
• 41:13
  sense but we don't sit down to think about it.
• 41:15
  You talked to said something really important about, you
• 41:18
  know, don't just go up that first intuition, sit with it a
• 41:21
  little longer, and we're not which such an impatient society
• 41:26
  that we don't sit. And we wonder why, you know
• 41:29
  people, I've you watch people go through their lives where they
• 41:33
  do these jobs that they hate but it, you know, but but they keep
• 41:36
  doing them because it's what they were trained to do and they
• 41:39
  just don't, they've never ask themselves those questions.
• 41:42
  They've just done what they went to school for and never like
• 41:46
  looked back and never thought about the possibility that maybe
• 41:49
  I can just really actually do something.
• 41:51
  I love based on my wife and my value.
• 41:54
  Yeah. And and then Having the courage
• 41:56
  to not compromise on that because they think that you can
• 41:59
  set it, but then it's following through with it.
• 42:02
  And I think you do a beautiful job of that.
• 42:04
  I'm watching my kids do a really good job of that.
• 42:07
  Better than my generation. My generation was very much the,
• 42:11
  we were the first ones that were that were really told.
• 42:13
  Okay. Go get your college degree,
• 42:14
  where you were the first ones that were kind of, okay, get the
• 42:17
  degree, find the, you know, spouse have the kids, do the
• 42:21
  thing and then all of a sudden, you're like 40 or like, what am
• 42:25
  I doing and how did I get here? And in who told me this was the
• 42:30
  path, which is going to go really nicely into living out of
• 42:34
  your own, expectations versus others.
• 42:37
  Another thing that I think you're really good at that can
• 42:41
  be challenging, I think, for, in some of the communities that you
• 42:45
  have been in, there is a certain Community or student
• 42:50
  expectations that go Within These communities and, and being
• 42:55
  willing to just stick to your own expectations, and not get
• 42:57
  drug along into something that it's well-intentioned a lot of
• 43:01
  times, but you have a really good scope on what's for you.
• 43:05
  And I'm going to use kind of a light hearted example, I think
• 43:08
  it's kind of example. I've told you all earlier.
• 43:10
  Meghan is the lovely lovely woman with, and she just kind of
• 43:14
  glows from within when you meet her.
• 43:16
  So, Meghan to her detriment, people were always trying to set
• 43:20
  Megan up in all the time, you know, trying to, you know, set
• 43:23
  Megan. I'm like, leave that poor woman
• 43:25
  alone. I just leave that poor.
• 43:30
  Let her be let her be let her live her life.
• 43:33
  She's doing amazing things, She's mine.
• 43:36
  So you sir Talk to me about living at it and that's a
• 43:39
  light-hearted example but I did something you've had to deal
• 43:41
  with but talk about living out of your own expectations versus
• 43:44
  others and you have a twin awesome who, you know, Finding
• 43:48
  Your identities within that because a twin is just an annual
• 43:52
  and you and Anna are very close and it's kind of a natural
• 43:56
  sibling coupling. But even within that space
• 44:00
  carved out your own identity in your own expectations.
• 44:03
  Yeah. So I think how I would answer
• 44:06
  this question is Come taking a step back and seeing one how our
• 44:11
  parents raised us. That was like, all right,
• 44:14
  there's a few thing, obviously, you're not perfect, mom and dad
• 44:16
  but there's a few things that you really nail and then also
• 44:21
  kind of pattern that I'm seeing with this, I'm just jump,
• 44:27
  straight to the point, this like, victim mindset, so let me
• 44:32
  point or, like, tie these things together with expectations works
• 44:36
  with others. So, Right now, let me just talk
• 44:38
  to the kids coming out of college.
• 44:42
  So out of out of love, you know, people around them will tell
• 44:48
  them how to make decisions but they won't teach them how to
• 44:51
  make decisions if that makes sense.
• 44:52
  Right. Okay, okay, so who what 20 year
• 44:57
  old would know to ask themselves questions and figure out how to
• 45:01
  learn how to make decisions rather than just pleasing the
• 45:04
  people that are paying for college.
• 45:06
  Or the like, if we could replace The Helpful actions that
• 45:15
  surface, like I'll make that call to this company for you and
• 45:19
  set you up at noon, you know? Yeah, that's it's the
• 45:23
  comfortable route and sure know who's waking up excited that
• 45:30
  they're comfortable, which okay? Did I do take that back?
• 45:35
  There's an astrakhan that and that's for anyone who's having a
• 45:37
  chronic disease, lived here, a different country.
• 45:40
  Okay. Have basically had like
• 45:43
  involuntary discomfort placed on their life.
• 45:45
  Okay, right. Right makes sense.
• 45:47
  But I guess I'm speaking to the Americans.
• 45:50
  Yeah, that have grown up and mostly comfort and ease and
• 45:54
  replaced environments. Yeah, yeah.
• 45:56
  So that empowerment it just doesn't seem like it's really
• 45:59
  happening. So it's cultivating a victim
• 46:02
  mindset of like the mindset that this is happening to me, right?
• 46:08
  And that's not what we need to overcome.
• 46:12
  When it comes to, how do we own, you know, live up to our
• 46:16
  expectations versus others and I've seen a lot of 20 year olds
• 46:20
  out of college make that decision of I need to keep up
• 46:23
  with everybody else. I need an easy route and get
• 46:26
  there quickly and I'm just asking the question what I
• 46:29
  actually, there's someone in my life that I had a long
• 46:32
  conversation with this past week where I was thinking through.
• 46:37
  I was hearing from her the advice.
• 46:40
  She was getting on what to pursue inside of her career.
• 46:43
  Yeah. And I'm like, okay God, what's
• 46:46
  the better question here? And what came to me, was asking
• 46:49
  her. Okay, what are you the most
• 46:51
  interested in right now? Because I don't think that
• 46:53
  there's Clarity when you're 20 despite its kind of expectations
• 46:57
  like after college, you know, exactly what we want to do.
• 47:01
  And so the question is like what are you most interested in right
• 47:04
  now. And how do you You go all in on
• 47:07
  it, so it's keeping the ownership on her.
• 47:10
  Sure. Rather than, oh, I know someone
• 47:12
  that, you know, like this and I can connect you and then that
• 47:15
  could help launch you at. It's me being the hero rather
• 47:18
  than so I write and then she doesn't know how to save
• 47:21
  herself. If the time comes in that, you
• 47:24
  know, all of a sudden, you get to 3035 people.
• 47:27
  You know, people are doing that for you anymore.
• 47:29
  Right. And then in your like, wait a
• 47:31
  minute, I don't know a stupid. Yeah and it just why is this
• 47:34
  happening to me like you said? Begins two ways, this one
• 47:38
  victim. That's, it's not a fun line set
• 47:40
  to live in. And so this, there's another
• 47:43
  conversation that surfaced in the men and women discomfort
• 47:46
  group. And so obviously, there's habits
• 47:48
  that were stacking every week that are centered around, you
• 47:52
  know, like nutrition, you know. So, no alcohol, no sugar.
• 47:55
  That's really uncomfortable for people and, you know, working
• 47:59
  out. We don't tell people what to do,
• 48:00
  but it's just like move one hour every day, you know?
• 48:03
  Sure. And things like breath working
• 48:05
  cold shower. And so really, Ali good habits
• 48:07
  but we're not coming across as like, this is the best way to
• 48:11
  live, you know, it's based more about how do you increase
• 48:16
  discomfort in somebody's life. When you ask them to commit to
• 48:20
  something, you know, yeah, release that, I know what's best
• 48:24
  and write our main group, like age is the 30 year old 26 year
• 48:31
  old and so there's a specific woman.
• 48:33
  I love her to death and she had, she had the When that we always
• 48:37
  want to get people to, and that's kind of the Breakthrough
• 48:39
  moment and we Mon, and she's like, I'm a grown woman, like,
• 48:43
  who are you to tell me what I can and cannot eat.
• 48:47
  And the response was, who chose to join the group?
• 48:52
  You, we are not telling you to do anything.
• 48:54
  Sure? And so suggesting we're giving
• 48:57
  you ideas, but it you're choosing you yet to be a part of
• 48:59
  it. You don't have to be a part of
• 49:00
  this group, you can't, you know, if you want to and so it kind of
• 49:05
  flipped the ownership, On her to go from victim mindset.
• 49:08
  I you know, you're telling you you're making me do this finding
• 49:12
  her, like you actually have more ownership on your life and you
• 49:15
  realize you chose about this and you get to choose to stay in
• 49:19
  this another day, you get to choose it again tomorrow and the
• 49:22
  next day. And so I'm noticing, I just
• 49:25
  spoke to, you know, the 20 year olds right out of college.
• 49:28
  But I'm also speaking to the 50 year olds that yeah, kind of had
• 49:32
  that similar pattern of like, life is happening to me.
• 49:35
  And so I think On altered live out of her own expectations.
• 49:40
  That comes from understanding. I have a lot of ownership in my
• 49:42
  life. Yeah, more than I realized.
• 49:45
  And yeah, there's some people that are like know what's at
• 49:50
  stake and are ready to kind of dive in and own it.
• 49:53
  There's some others that are just like yeah, priority and so
• 49:57
  I guess I'm speaking to the people that understand what's at
• 50:02
  stake when it comes to understanding how much agency
• 50:05
  you have over. Your life at any age, at any
• 50:08
  age. Yeah.
• 50:09
  And it's a series of choices. I mean, there are things that
• 50:12
  happen to us, but even within that, there's a choice.
• 50:15
  Yeah, you know. And so it seen it from it, that
• 50:17
  choice standpoint. I think that's any boy.
• 50:19
  You're right, though. Those you know there's it's kind
• 50:22
  of crazy. This whole kids transition their
• 50:25
  kids, their 20 year olds of young adults, they transition
• 50:27
  out of college. And there's just it's so
• 50:30
  interesting that gal that I was mentoring a couple years ago.
• 50:34
  I've mentioned her earlier. She A lot of this when she came
• 50:37
  out of school and she and we had to talk through a lot.
• 50:42
  Okay. Okay, this is what your parents
• 50:44
  are telling you want to do, you don't want to do that, you have
• 50:48
  a choice and having a conversation with them about
• 50:51
  that you can just jump into grad school because that's what would
• 50:54
  make them happy or you can go create this site.
• 50:59
  It's a choice. Now you have to look at are
• 51:01
  there consequences with this choice or, you know, and be
• 51:05
  willing to own those. Those fortunately for her there
• 51:08
  weren't any like tough ones that we keep her from doing it.
• 51:10
  They weren't going to like kick her out in the street.
• 51:12
  She was still bringing in some money and, you know, for a job.
• 51:16
  So there was nothing like so consequential that it was like
• 51:18
  okay, you know, how do we do this?
• 51:20
  But it was just like you're an adult and so you get to make
• 51:26
  these choices now they, you know, they're not going to make
• 51:29
  those but you have to decide that.
• 51:31
  And yeah, it's really, really interesting.
• 51:33
  I think it's just really can be really difficult and it's
• 51:36
  Difficult for parents to let go. It's very difficult and for
• 51:40
  parents to let go we bring and I have not always done it
• 51:43
  perfectly but I think one thing that we did do well, I always go
• 51:47
  back to this. So when Sierra was deciding
• 51:50
  where to go to school, we lived in Spokane Washington at the
• 51:52
  time in Sierra was deciding where to go to school.
• 51:57
  And she wanted to play volleyball.
• 51:58
  But she wanted to be at high academic, she wanted to go
• 52:00
  somewhere different. She wanted to be, you know,
• 52:03
  Chicago Boston, New York, she wanted to go on.
• 52:06
  On an adventure and the area we live in.
• 52:08
  Don't I think I've discovered, there's a lot of areas like this
• 52:10
  across the country, but people were telling us, you can't let
• 52:14
  her go that far away. You can't let her go to New
• 52:18
  York, you can't let her, you know, because mostly if she was
• 52:20
  looking it, you know, Midwest east coast and I'm and were
• 52:23
  like, yeah. But why why would you why would
• 52:27
  you think that like their response from people telling us
• 52:31
  and and then telling their kids where they could and couldn't
• 52:34
  go, they would use you. I think it's really easy.
• 52:37
  They would use like well we need you to do this because it's
• 52:40
  affordable and that may have been true but there was also a
• 52:43
  choice when they in that for the kid that they weren't really
• 52:46
  presenting. Like if you do this or that you
• 52:48
  can go do that and I saw so many just flat-out.
• 52:50
  No you can't do that or and in and the kids just kind of like
• 52:56
  okay well I guess I can't do that but even within that not
• 52:58
  taking the agency a few did but for the most part but yeah, but
• 53:02
  what the things people were say, I was not prepared for that.
• 53:04
  Brady and I were like, wow. 18 years old, she had legal, she
• 53:08
  can do, she's getting scholarships here.
• 53:11
  She's, you know, I mean, who am I?
• 53:13
  I mean, will I miss her? Of course I will.
• 53:16
  But what kind of parent would I be if I put that those kinds of
• 53:20
  parameters on her? But it was this, but it's a
• 53:22
  hard, it's a hard thing to do and that sets the landscape for
• 53:25
  how they proceed from there, if there's not, if they're not
• 53:28
  willing and I, you know, and bold enough for confident in a
• 53:32
  Friday, she doesn't have to just be like, nah, not doing that.
• 53:36
  Yeah, InStep note that they can stay you can stay in that
• 53:38
  pattern your whole life. So yeah.
• 53:41
  Yeah. I mean Port I'm not a parent and
• 53:44
  so I have zero interest in thinking that there's yeah, that
• 53:51
  I could do it better. I can't wait though, from got to
• 53:54
  give me a shot at it though. But what I'm just noticing
• 53:56
  there's kind of lack of Direction, growing up, William
• 53:59
  part of years, you know, where it's on will have a choice
• 54:02
  because you don't quite know what's best and I'm seeing
• 54:04
  parenting, kind of get really flexible.
• 54:06
  Able in the younger years her, which is crazy.
• 54:10
  And then get really rigid in the Years where they're meant to be
• 54:13
  line instead of preparing them like setting them up to be ready
• 54:18
  to do that on their own. Yeah, I know that's a really
• 54:21
  good point. So we call we call in the
• 54:22
  helicopter parents just like. Yeah, let him for real, let him.
• 54:27
  Yeah, you know, there's so much that can happen in the 20s
• 54:30
  before they've got real responsibilities, you know,
• 54:33
  family spouses and kids and fine.
• 54:36
  X's. And so if there's if there's and
• 54:39
  that's that was the goal of the internship is how do we create a
• 54:41
  space where people feel believed in and challenged and kind of
• 54:48
  set up to fail? So they can gather deal with
• 54:50
  failure and not avoid it the rest of their lives.
• 54:53
  Yeah, I'm gonna feel shame about it, right?
• 54:55
  Yeah. And it's yeah.
• 54:57
  What what I saw happen was 18 19 and 20 year old, you know,
• 55:00
  college athletes. Step up to a level of character
• 55:04
  that like astounded. and in me all to that point where any job
• 55:09
  that I've had working with middle-aged men and women, it's
• 55:13
  like kind of disappointing because I saw these, you know,
• 55:16
  college athletes step up into a level of character, like, I hire
• 55:20
  every single one of you and trust you with my bank account,
• 55:22
  because if you set the standard and challenge for somebody to
• 55:26
  rise up and meet and I think that's what that generation is
• 55:28
  looking for right now, they're in the work desk, but now I know
• 55:31
  looking to be given responsibility and believed in
• 55:36
  Because it's it's kind of been taken away from them, you know,
• 55:40
  for the sake of comfort, right? Once you know, the irony, oh,
• 55:45
  the irony of the whole thing right now.
• 55:46
  It's like you doing the opposite of what you're actually trying
• 55:50
  to accomplish here. You're going about it the way
• 55:52
  that would actually be effective.
• 55:53
  Wow, wow. So interesting it.
• 55:55
  Yeah. And I think that yeah we
• 55:56
  underestimate what they're capable of and and so then they
• 56:01
  do and if they don't have a space to practice and the a hard
• 56:04
  time believing in themselves and so I By looking at the yeah.
• 56:08
  Still the generation I guess like your generation and the
• 56:13
  parents have like broken. So many circles, you know, and
• 56:18
  Cycles. Yeah.
• 56:19
  No, I'm not docking anybody. I'm just so sure.
• 56:21
  But there's more to do and more. Yeah, sure.
• 56:24
  I'm going to talk about my Generations parenting style, but
• 56:27
  I feel like for the sake of like comfort and ease after really
• 56:31
  hard generation, it's like let's just set everything up for you
• 56:33
  so I'll leave it. Yeah, no.
• 56:36
  That's Good point. That's a really good point.
• 56:37
  And, you know, and they don't know how to deal with discomfort
• 56:40
  and therefore they'll never find peace.
• 56:41
  So that's that's where we that's what we've learned today.
• 56:45
  All right? Accepting the layered aspects of
• 56:48
  ourselves and that's just all the layers.
• 56:50
  All the things were made of, you know, to touched a little bit on
• 56:54
  emotions and shame and failure and how to deal with those in
• 56:58
  healthy ways. Uncomfortable things talk about
• 57:00
  those, those layers, and embracing them.
• 57:03
  Yeah. So I think with this question, A
• 57:06
  recent kind of colleague of mine read.
• 57:09
  Pretty that I got to work with. He taught me a lot about this.
• 57:12
  So and it's really about like discovering new aspects of
• 57:15
  yourself. Yeah.
• 57:18
  And Carol dweck, you know, presented the idea of growth
• 57:22
  mindset to the world and so I think everybody's familiar with
• 57:25
  that working with read open up my mind to even more.
• 57:30
  And so I mean by that is basically if you can imagine
• 57:33
  like a circle and the circle represents Your current capacity
• 57:38
  and and this is the zone that people have a tendency to just
• 57:43
  leverage rather than try and expand.
• 57:48
  And so thinking about okay how do you put into action,
• 57:53
  expanding the circle and like, write another level within
• 57:57
  yourself, you know, and then he like in a nut any aspect of life
• 58:01
  just being out here and I think The I love personality test, I
• 58:09
  love them, but I hate them because context, usually isn't
• 58:11
  brought into the conversation, just her.
• 58:14
  Yeah, yes to why. And how they got there and is,
• 58:17
  and that, and they also change. I think that it's like people
• 58:20
  will take those and they'll be like in there when they're 25
• 58:23
  and like, that's how I am. And that's, it's like, you need
• 58:26
  to check that again. You're 45.
• 58:29
  And I have lots happened happened and I think God bring
• 58:33
  this into different seasons, 100%.
• 58:36
  Ghostly. So I think I if there wasn't a
• 58:40
  openness to understanding context and environment and God
• 58:43
  bring you in different seasons, I were watching.
• 58:46
  So the season I'm in like right now I've I think at my best I
• 58:51
  can bring Clarity to Leading a team and leading teams.
• 58:54
  Well the three roles that I'm working with right now.
• 58:58
  I'm not leaving anything. I am a behind background guide
• 59:03
  person and it's because I think If you're discovering new
• 59:09
  aspects within yourself, there's an acknowledgement that you eat
• 59:12
  at certain seasons and then you follow and serve in certain
• 59:14
  Seasons, you know. Yeah, it's dip.
• 59:17
  That's not a play on your identity or your worth.
• 59:19
  There's just something else going on and I think it's all if
• 59:23
  there if you look at patterns in the Bible, there's a pattern to
• 59:28
  what God's up 2 and its expansion all the time.
• 59:31
  You know, he acts in the home and then it goes out and it
• 59:33
  keeps expanding and there's always new and growth.
• 59:36
  And so when it comes to our personal capabilities, and I
• 59:41
  like how you put it, like Larry aspects of ourselves.
• 59:43
  I just think there's always something to discover, hmm.
• 59:47
  And what it takes is a willingness to kind of, like, go
• 59:51
  out of your, like, circle of Competency, and try something.
• 59:55
  Because, yeah, At some level. It's like if you try something
• 1:00:01
  outside of your circle, you just expanded like that part of the
• 1:00:03
  circle and you drink over here and just like slowly grows and
• 1:00:07
  so I bring up read because he four-time Olympian change
• 1:00:10
  Sports, got a laugh for it and it was it was watching somebody
• 1:00:17
  get what we're talking about like, right?
• 1:00:20
  Roy, something more. And he loves a Pursuit.
• 1:00:22
  It's nothing to it's not for more metals because he's like
• 1:00:26
  that. He understands those are
• 1:00:28
  fleeting. Yeah.
• 1:00:29
  To if if you can kind of Master the art of learning something,
• 1:00:34
  hmm. And that we kind of have a
• 1:00:36
  minimum discover. We've got like, acronym Credo.
• 1:00:40
  So cre video first three is kind of the like actions for this.
• 1:00:45
  So, like commit release and engage so like, okay to
• 1:00:51
  something go, all in none of this like step in step out.
• 1:00:55
  Right, right? You're either Either you're in
• 1:00:57
  or you're out for how long time. Commit release options.
• 1:01:03
  Which kind of that's giving up. What you think, you know, is
• 1:01:07
  best. Oh, that boy, if we can all get
• 1:01:11
  it ready to do that right now. And that's my biggest hurdle
• 1:01:16
  with things that seriously, after, you know, I'm speaking.
• 1:01:20
  Well, I think we all have a that some of that innocent, I think
• 1:01:23
  that's kind of, you know, going into a broader context, why we
• 1:01:26
  are where we are, and the kind our country right now.
• 1:01:30
  You're right. I know it's best and I'm not
• 1:01:31
  willing to Try anything and then the E is engaged wholeheartedly.
• 1:01:37
  So we used to do with men and women with disabilities Comfort.
• 1:01:42
  Well, not me, they did right in the beginning, if somebody kind
• 1:01:45
  of missed a habit or miss the check-in or something, they kick
• 1:01:49
  them out. Wow, love.
• 1:01:51
  And they realized you were kind of missing the point and what
• 1:01:54
  we're really looking for is for people to be whole hearted.
• 1:01:57
  Sure. That's weird transformation
• 1:01:59
  happens. That's where are ya?
• 1:02:01
  It's cultivated Is to show up and be all in and there.
• 1:02:05
  Yeah. And I'm recognizing that there's
• 1:02:09
  teams that are functioning at a high capacity, kind of have
• 1:02:11
  these patterns of like, totally in seeing that I know what's
• 1:02:16
  best and taking options away, and when you really softens,
• 1:02:19
  that's where you have freedom to kind of be more engaged in what
• 1:02:22
  you're saying, yes, to and just not negotiate with yourself.
• 1:02:27
  Yeah. Yeah, and not talk to yourself
• 1:02:29
  in and out of things, you know, based on your limited Circle
• 1:02:33
  piece, I think you said something important.
• 1:02:34
  I don't think you can continue to Be an Effective, good leader.
• 1:02:38
  If you don't take Seasons to learn you just get here, you're
• 1:02:42
  not going to be relevant with the time with who you're dealing
• 1:02:45
  with, with how life is changed with how you've changed.
• 1:02:48
  I mean, I think that you see a nice, you see this a lot in my
• 1:02:52
  generation, I think people in their 50s or 60s that are kind
• 1:02:55
  of locked in to having Oh, they were leading in the mid-90s when
• 1:02:59
  they first late 90s, early 2000s when they first got into
• 1:03:03
  leadership and this generation of my kids and you're a drag,
• 1:03:07
  Ah, that's just not How We Roll. If we, we do not do it that way.
• 1:03:13
  We want balance in our lives, we want a y values.
• 1:03:19
  You know, environment, we want to feel like we're any of the
• 1:03:22
  whole nine yards. And so they're they're marking
• 1:03:25
  themselves either ear. Little bit or no one wants to
• 1:03:28
  work for them to have high turnover.
• 1:03:29
  People don't want to work for them.
• 1:03:31
  It's like they'll give him the mission, they'll get people in,
• 1:03:34
  but they don't stay and they can understand why.
• 1:03:36
  And they're saying I owe this generation.
• 1:03:38
  How about let's stop for a minute, you know?
• 1:03:42
  And so that's why I think that's so important.
• 1:03:44
  It's just recognizing those seasons and that's what that you
• 1:03:47
  will always be an effective leader if you continue to take
• 1:03:51
  those Seasons to learn. Now, that doesn't mean you can't
• 1:03:53
  learn while you're leading. I'm not, that's not what I'm
• 1:03:56
  saying. I'm saying you know what, your
• 1:03:57
  CEO job and go learn for a year and then go back that and not
• 1:04:01
  saying that but just keeping that mindset and being flexible
• 1:04:04
  and looking at, you know, if you're been leading for 15, 20
• 1:04:09
  years and you're still leading the same way you were 15 20
• 1:04:12
  years ago. You might want to step back and
• 1:04:13
  then look at that totally and be willing to learn.
• 1:04:17
  Yeah, remaining learner. I mean, that's that is become my
• 1:04:20
  Mantra, the last three to five years and it's allowed me to
• 1:04:23
  continue to step into. I'm still Reading how to live my
• 1:04:27
  best life. I'm 53 years old and that will
• 1:04:30
  be a process until it's my time to go.
• 1:04:34
  And I think sometimes people get to a certain space and age and
• 1:04:38
  they just refuse to to take in any more information.
• 1:04:42
  They just, I am what I am and I'm not going to be any
• 1:04:45
  different and it's like, that's what kind of life is that, yeah.
• 1:04:48
  Okay. You might be comfortable, but,
• 1:04:50
  you know, but do you wake up with a lot of energy every day?
• 1:04:54
  Are you curious about what's happening in the world?
• 1:04:57
  And I don't know. That's that's that's for me, has
• 1:05:00
  been the most important thing if I don't hand anything else down
• 1:05:04
  to my daughter's into the women I Mentor it's like stay curious.
• 1:05:09
  Be a learner, never think and because I will tell you I'm a
• 1:05:14
  completely different person and how I see the world from where I
• 1:05:18
  was 10 years ago and it's influenced by a lot of things.
• 1:05:21
  We've moved in live different spaces across the country, I
• 1:05:24
  moved at a very very protected. Fluid space, in Northeast
• 1:05:29
  Washington State to Chicago and New York.
• 1:05:31
  I've just seen and learned different things.
• 1:05:34
  I've had different experiences, I've seen other spaces, I'm now
• 1:05:37
  in West Texas, which is a whole other wild experience and, but
• 1:05:42
  but I be, but if Brady and I hadn't gone into that, being
• 1:05:46
  willing to learn, within those spaces, we would have just ran
• 1:05:49
  back to Spokane, because that was comfortable, that was
• 1:05:52
  comfortable. It didn't challenge our
• 1:05:53
  thinking, it didn't challenge what we thought we already.
• 1:05:56
  Any new and it's been hard. I'm not saying it's been easy.
• 1:06:00
  We've had a lot of discomfort along the way, but I for where
• 1:06:05
  I'm at now and how I see the world and how I'm coming into
• 1:06:09
  being, I continuing to evolve into the self, best up that I
• 1:06:13
  was created to be absolutely, would not would not change that.
• 1:06:18
  Yeah, that's what we're kind of discussing the beginning of like
• 1:06:22
  boundaries and the tension of owning you know, the Deep value.
• 1:06:26
  that are rooted that really you need to have in your life to her
• 1:06:30
  yourself and then being open to like stepping outside and Being
• 1:06:37
  open to knowing like, maybe there's a better way and I guess
• 1:06:41
  I it, you know, I'm going to try it long enough, you know, I feel
• 1:06:43
  like there's this like, 90 day test script testing, period to
• 1:06:46
  know ya. Things actually worth it before
• 1:06:48
  you and not throwing the game plan out.
• 1:06:51
  Right. You know, before you rework it
• 1:06:53
  was like, stick with it. And that's, that was my
• 1:06:55
  experience with this men and women of discomfort.
• 1:06:58
  I was an athlete, I helped open a health, and wellness type like
• 1:07:01
  business and I came in and, you know, was being told like, all
• 1:07:05
  right, you're going to work. Albumin.
• 1:07:06
  Our damn like check again, I do that.
• 1:07:08
  You know, you're going to eat this but not this and it was an
• 1:07:11
  extremely boring diet, it was a certain type of breathwork.
• 1:07:14
  It was cold, showers every day in the middle of January and the
• 1:07:20
  I didn't have a hard time with that actual habits.
• 1:07:23
  It was this like being told what to do.
• 1:07:26
  Yeah, I'm with, and so releasing what I think I know is best was
• 1:07:32
  my personal journey of growth and figuring out.
• 1:07:35
  Okay, I feel like Beauty to be found here.
• 1:07:38
  It's 90 days, you know? Yeah, yeah.
• 1:07:40
  I could do anything. You know, within reason for 90
• 1:07:43
  days, even if it's wrong, let me try it out for 90 days.
• 1:07:46
  Sure. And there was something in that
• 1:07:48
  process of not being the expert on my own life, that I don't
• 1:07:53
  know, is extremely humbling. It was so healthy to experience,
• 1:07:56
  but it's so weird to talk about it, is, it is and but I think
• 1:08:01
  it's that whole humility police. I love what you said, not being
• 1:08:03
  the expert of my own life and just keep In that door, open
• 1:08:07
  keeping that door. If we could talk about that all
• 1:08:09
  day, all right? Like so many of those things in
• 1:08:13
  summary, in living out feel finding empowerment embracing
• 1:08:16
  layers, which is the name of our podcast and in kind of Summer.
• 1:08:20
  How does this affect the quality of your life and your
• 1:08:23
  relationships, when you are living in that your empowerment,
• 1:08:26
  you're embracing your layers? How does that affect your
• 1:08:29
  relationship with yourself and then with the those that you're
• 1:08:32
  in relationship with. So I'll bring up, I didn't write
• 1:08:34
  this, but it really Sums up where like the hopeful outcome
• 1:08:39
  when it comes to impacting relationships, and that's strong
• 1:08:42
  and awake for Love's sake. Hmm.
• 1:08:45
  Oh, like strong, when it comes to understanding life has storms
• 1:08:51
  and we could actually really proactively get ready for them.
• 1:08:55
  Well, we're I think anti fragile is a book that a lot of people
• 1:08:59
  reference in this kind of conversation of being rigid, but
• 1:09:01
  flexible. Yeah, you know.
• 1:09:03
  So there's patterns, you know, there's like Personal practices
• 1:09:07
  and my everyday that happen every day, but I'm not rigid
• 1:09:09
  about it. So if I travel, you know,
• 1:09:12
  they're just at different times of the day in different ways but
• 1:09:17
  remaining like discipline and committed to that and so let's
• 1:09:20
  job, I think that's how kind of strong applies to me and then
• 1:09:23
  awake is an awareness of being able to walk in the room.
• 1:09:28
  And I'm I'm set because there's been a self discipline and
• 1:09:31
  commitment, I've kept myself. Hmm.
• 1:09:34
  That I have a capacity to think Of others and what's crazy?
• 1:09:37
  There's so many stories. I wish I could like share with
• 1:09:41
  you. The story is of like a weakness
• 1:09:44
  that have happened in the men and women of Discovery group.
• 1:09:46
  It's like teachers that had the capacity to like Basically be a
• 1:09:56
  first responder on site at a crisis.
• 1:09:59
  That happened at the school before the First Responders
• 1:10:01
  actually got there. Well, you're physically ready
• 1:10:04
  because it's, we practicing here were bodies.
• 1:10:07
  They were mentally ready because we practice embracing hard,
• 1:10:10
  things? Sure.
• 1:10:12
  Well, and so that a weakness there, and then it's all for
• 1:10:15
  Love's sake. It's not being strong and wait
• 1:10:17
  for yourself. It's being able to be present
• 1:10:19
  and therefore people that you know, that you don't know.
• 1:10:23
  Yeah. The Greater Community.
• 1:10:24
  Aditi know, I love that. That's so good.
• 1:10:26
  I've written all these things down.
• 1:10:28
  I'm like, oh, these are great. These are going to be great
• 1:10:30
  notes, as yes, as we prepare to to promote this episode.
• 1:10:34
  All right, we're down to our rapid fire name, five,
• 1:10:38
  activities, that nourish you. Hmm.
• 1:10:40
  So yeah, there's what I was talking about the five things
• 1:10:43
  are the things that happen every day for me.
• 1:10:45
  Yeah, it, there's five this quiet going on a walk,
• 1:10:49
  connecting with somebody like deep connection, not just like
• 1:10:53
  Zoom call with the call. Keep some kind of working our.
• 1:10:57
  I'm challenging my body physically and then showering,
• 1:11:00
  there's something you can't show up.
• 1:11:02
  Did your hair ready? You know, put yourself in think
• 1:11:09
  there's a lot to that. I mean, I feel differently.
• 1:11:12
  Like, I might kind of begrudging.
• 1:11:13
  Like, all right, I gotta go get but then I come out and get
• 1:11:16
  ready and I feel differently than if I would have just thrown
• 1:11:20
  on my, you know, yoga pants and gone out the door, and there's
• 1:11:23
  time for that. But yeah, when you're there's
• 1:11:25
  some intentionality goes into that and you do feel like a
• 1:11:28
  different way about yourself and how you and how you show up,
• 1:11:32
  exactly. All right?
• 1:11:33
  Five words on how you want to feel the next 6 months.
• 1:11:36
  Hmm. Well, I mean, under the banner
• 1:11:39
  of discomfort, I will I hate myself for saying that, but I
• 1:11:44
  want to start understanding the beauty of Leaning into
• 1:11:49
  discomfort and exposure and pressure.
• 1:11:53
  Mmm. So now say those are things that
• 1:11:56
  I want to feel because I know what happens on the back end.
• 1:11:59
  Like I have a deeper gratitude for things that I used to not be
• 1:12:02
  grateful for. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:12:07
  Like increased capacity. Actually, feeling strength be
• 1:12:09
  like, deep around me, self-confidence, that kind of
• 1:12:14
  stuff will happen if I lean in to pressure and exposure and
• 1:12:17
  vulnerability and wow. Okay.
• 1:12:22
  Well, if anyone can do it, you can I full confidence in you?
• 1:12:25
  I like I said, I love watching these Journeys that you do
• 1:12:27
  because they're always done. You always make me think in a
• 1:12:29
  different way, you always present different ways that I'm
• 1:12:32
  always like, oh my gosh, that's so interesting that so
• 1:12:35
  intriguing, I wouldn't have thought about it that way and I
• 1:12:37
  had a really Innisfail AI what in our episode with dr.
• 1:12:41
  Bernardin Waller and that, I just had a conversation on a
• 1:12:45
  couple weeks ago, she and I talked a lot about people, you
• 1:12:48
  know, throw out the dirt and they threw out the coal.
• 1:12:50
  She goes. But we think ol with that
• 1:12:52
  pressured become diamonds and you know, and you can't but you
• 1:12:56
  don't get the diamond without going through some of the
• 1:12:59
  pressing and in pressure that goes into that you know so being
• 1:13:06
  willing to do that to to produce this beautiful Diamond that you
• 1:13:11
  wouldn't you there's just there's only one way through it
• 1:13:13
  but if you're willing to walk through it, wow.
• 1:13:15
  Wow, what you get in the end. So I think that that is so
• 1:13:19
  important and that just reminded me of Conversation.
• 1:13:22
  Meghan, thank you so much. It adds audience you could tell
• 1:13:25
  we could talk about several of these things for days and days
• 1:13:27
  and days or so much content within all of them.
• 1:13:30
  And since she was the author of these, she's got even more ideas
• 1:13:34
  right random than I do. But I can't wait to see.
• 1:13:40
  I'm always excited and love watching what you do because you
• 1:13:43
  are like I said, you just care for people and such a deep
• 1:13:46
  important intentional way and whenever you go into something.
• 1:13:49
  It's always for The betterment of the Greater Community, just
• 1:13:53
  always want. What's best for people in the
• 1:13:56
  healthiest way possible and you do it by empowering instead of
• 1:14:00
  an enabling and I think that's such an important difference and
• 1:14:06
  just makes you such a force and I look forward to you know
• 1:14:09
  people getting to learn from you and follow you for generations
• 1:14:13
  to come because you just you have you're so gifted that way
• 1:14:15
  and I love watching you continue to discover these different
• 1:14:18
  paths. So for all this information of
• 1:14:21
  all These things we talked about today, audience.
• 1:14:22
  You're not going to want to miss it.
• 1:14:24
  It's going to be we're going to talk about it in our blog.
• 1:14:26
  We're going to have a it on our resources page.
• 1:14:29
  You can find those both on our website, we're going to promote
• 1:14:31
  it on all of our socials websites, embracing layers.com,
• 1:14:36
  add embracing layers on Instagram.
• 1:14:38
  We're on Facebook, where on LinkedIn, we're on Twitter, we
• 1:14:43
  are on what else YouTube? Where everywhere I go.
• 1:14:46
  There's literally no place. You can't find it.
• 1:14:48
  You can find our podcast link on the website.
• 1:14:50
  You can find it. It on wherever you listen to
• 1:14:52
  your podcasts of lots of places to find these resources.
• 1:14:56
  And for some reason, you can't email me and bracing there's at
• 1:14:59
  gmail.com and I will get you the information making sure today
• 1:15:02
  because like I said there was a lots of nuggets in this.
• 1:15:04
  But thanks again for your time, enjoy your time, with your
• 1:15:07
  sister, and brother-in-law, and parents in Charleston.
• 1:15:10
  And I'm just so happy to catch up with you today.
• 1:15:14
  Thank you. Melissa.
• 1:15:15
  Thank you so much. You bet I'm podcast audience,
• 1:15:18
  have a great week.