Latest / The Reformed Tired Girls Club Podcast / Because Who Knew My Narcolepsy Would Piss People Off
Transcript
- Heather Copfer: Hi you guys, welcome back to the Reformed Tired Girls Club podcast. I am your host, Heather, and if you like this podcast, this episode, and you feel called to like, subscribe, review, leave a comment, you know, all that good stuff, whatever tickles your fancy, I would really, really love that. It helps me, it helps the podcast, and I appreciate you. So today, I thought it would be so fun to talk about how... our health issues not only impacts us because duh, ⁓ but it also seeps into our relationships and it negatively impacts our relationships. Whether or not the other person is aware of it, we are. We are. And you know, I don't think this gets talked about enough, whether that's because we are, you know, ashamed about it, whether we're embarrassed about it or whether we actually don't even feel comfortable. talking about that because that's some deep stuff. Again, we can talk about our symptoms on very surface level like, I'm so bloated. I have had a brain fog, I can't stop falling asleep. But are we talking about like, ⁓ my boyfriend's pissed at me because I can't stay awake throughout a movie because I just pass out because I'm so tired and I'm so fatigued and I don't have the energy to make it through a single freaking movie. ⁓ Who's talking about that? We are. We're talking about that today. And please let me know if you can relate. I know there are so many others out there like me with your own stories. We can swap these. I would love to hear from you. know, whether it is your gut issues, your hormone issues, your chronic illness, energy issues, if I didn't already say that, ⁓ how that seeps into relationships, not just romantic, but even friendships, right? You maybe it's something where you stop going out to dinner because you start having all of these reactions to so many foods that you used to be able to tolerate, and now you can't, and now you're not getting the invites anymore and you're getting left out of plans because you don't go anymore, so why are they going to invite you? You know? That freaking sucks, okay? Or maybe you're not going hiking anymore with your friends, your family, your mom, your brother, whatever. because you need to know where a bathroom is at all times and God forbid you be stranded on a mountain and all of a sudden your IBS is like, gotta go! Very uncomfortable. And you know, maybe, just maybe your partner cannot fathom what it's like to deal with PMS and cramping and crazy mood swings and all those fun hormone issues that us women are so prone to. And then that seeps into your relationship and it causes miscommunications. causes arguments. It causes, you know, that feeling of being misunderstood and like, you just don't get it. And I don't know how to explain this to you. And it's just, you know, ⁓ you know what I'm talking about? And you know what really sucks? One more thing, you know what really sucks is no one knows and can fathom and understand what you are dealing with. You know, not really. Maybe they can relate on some level, like maybe your friend also has bloating or, you know, doesn't have like the greatest energy, whatnot. ⁓ But no one, no one is living your exact experience. Our symptoms and our health issues, even though a lot of them are universal, we experience them very uniquely. and very specific to us, right? So no one understands but you, and it can be so, so freaking hard explaining what you're feeling and what you're going through to someone else, especially if there's conflict in a relationship and you're just trying to help them understand. It's tricky stuff. It really is. And you know what I had the pleasure of experiencing? ⁓ I had the pleasure of experiencing how my narcolepsy could actually piss people off. Who would have thought? Who would have thought that my narcolepsy would actually piss people off? Make them angry, make them frustrated. ⁓ You know, I had a roommate once upon a time. And we were together 24-7. We were always going out. We worked together, just attached to the hip. And I will never forget this very specific instance where I was at home, she was out and about. I think she was on her way home and we were trying to solidify our plans for that night. And we were texting back and forth and whatnot. And I just pass out. I pass out, fall asleep. If you've ever experienced narcolepsy or you know someone with narcolepsy, you understand how they can just drop. They can just fall asleep at the drop of a hat. And it's kind of crazy. But that happened to me in a situation in the middle of figuring out our plans for that night. And I just pass out, pass out in the middle of our texts. And I wake up to her coming home and She's slamming doors, slamming cabinets and not saying anything to me. And I sit up and I'm like, and I was downstairs. We had a two bedroom or two floor apartment. And you can very tell, I can tell that she's not happy. And I'm like, ⁓ sorry. Like I fell asleep. And then you just tell her she didn't get it. She didn't get it. And she was still pissed. And you know, it's one thing to. deal with your problems, your health issues, my narcolepsy by myself and, you know, handle that myself. But when I experience it having that kind of impact on somebody and making somebody angry as a side effect, as a result of me falling asleep in the middle of a text conversation where I had no control over that, it makes you feel really insecure, really self-conscious. It's like, I'm so sorry, like I don't, I can't help this. And now you're mad at me and I don't know how to deal with these complex emotions and thoughts and try to explain and make you understand, you know? Girl, you don't need to be slamming cabinets. You don't need to be slamming cabinets. And then I also, I had a boyfriend. Yes, I did. I had a boyfriend and I couldn't for the life of me stay awake through a movie, especially at night. I could not stay awake through a movie and he would get frustrated. I don't know if he would necessarily get angry, ⁓ but he definitely got frustrated. Definitely got frustrated because... Yeah, your girl cannot stay awake through a full movie. And it's like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think about that to this day, whenever I am like watching a movie at whatever time, it does not matter morning, evening, afternoon, whatever, I will not fall asleep during movie anymore, unless I'm like watching it at like, you know, midnight, one o'clock in the morning, whatever. ⁓ And I have a thought every time when I'm like, wow, how amazing is it that I can stay awake through a movie? Because, and then I think about my ex-boyfriend and how I couldn't stay awake through movies and he just wasn't having it. He wasn't having it, wasn't happy about it. And again, like, how do you explain like, no, no, it's not that I'm just, it's not that I'm tired. It's that I cannot stay awake. I do not have the agency to control. when I stay awake and when I fall asleep. They don't get it. It's like I already feel very, very insecure about this, but now it's like a ripple effect and it's affecting these people who are very much in my life, who I'm very close to, and there's nothing I can do about it. I think that's one of the hardest things is when people just don't get it. You can try to explain it to them. You can try. and maybe they'll have some compassion, maybe a little empathy, but they don't get it. And that really fricking sucks. So it's like, yes, I feel insecure about this, but now I have to worry about how this problem I have is affecting those around me. And that is so much to handle. That is so much to grasp. is so much, that's just more stress on your body. Because of course we don't want to be pissing these people off because we can't stay awake. But we have no control, no control. And ⁓ yeah, yeah. But you know, my narcolepsy didn't piss everybody off. like a lot of people found it funny. Like I remember one time I was with a group of my feeder friends. We were up north at our friend's cabin having just a weekend and one night we were having a party. And middle of the party, it wasn't even that late. And I'm like, I need to take a nap. And I fell asleep on the couch and the party is still going on around me. Like lights are on, everything is still very much happening. And I come to, I don't know how much longer later to my friend coming out of the one of the bedrooms and just being like, Heather. Did you just wake up from a nap? You look wonderful. Like, I just remember it so vividly. And it was just so funny too. Because again, sometimes I got reactions like that from people where they were like amused and like thought it was so funny. And in those instances, it's like, yeah, ha ha ha. Like you play along with it because sometimes it's easier to cope when you identify as the label and you just like. go along with it. I mean, in hindsight, it is hilarious. you know, in moments like that, you're like, oh, this is kind of funny. But when I was at ASU, I started taking Adderall because I couldn't stay awake in class. I couldn't stay awake to do my homework. couldn't. It was a lot. And at this time, I wasn't doing theater, thank God. But I just needed to be awake to be able to do my homework. So I started taking Adderall and it was crazy. I remember just being like, this stuff is awesome. I like, this stuff is so awesome. I'm taking this forever. But one thing I'm very grateful for through all of my avoidance tendencies and my escapist tendencies, is I always had an awareness when I was kind of flirting with danger, if you will, ⁓ if I was getting too sucked into something that wasn't necessarily good for me. And so I had that awareness to pull back and to be like, you know what, this is probably not in my best interest long-term. So I wasn't taking it super, super long, but... I had that awareness and that moment where I was like, I need to stop this. And like I said at the beginning of this episode, everybody's symptoms and ⁓ issues and experience with those health issues is very, very unique to them. I love to talk about bio-individuality because it is so true. What works for one person isn't necessarily gonna work for another person because we have different root causes, we have different... factors at play, know, lifestyle, emotional, nervous system, ⁓ internal toxicities. And what worked for me, what helped me overcome and reverse my narcolepsy because I don't have this issue anymore. I have not had this issue since I rebalanced my gut and worked on my gut, ⁓ also my hormones specifically. and replenishing my ⁓ nutrients, my minerals, my vitamins. So once I spent some time working through that back when I was, I think it was 26, I was 26 years old, it was gone, poof, gone, never to be a thing again. Even though I'm still, health is such a journey, wellness is such a journey, you're never done. You're never done, things pop up, new things pop up, you overcome things, you know, and that's fine. And even at this point in my life where I'm dealing and still coming back from mold toxicity, even with mold in my body, I still haven't had narcolepsy. I haven't had that issue anymore. I have different symptoms, sure, but... Not having that narcolepsy, gosh, I think about it all the time and I'm just so, so grateful and ⁓ grateful that I'm in a place where can look back at all of that and laugh because it is funny now, this stage in my life. ⁓ yeah, sometimes I guess we really do have to go through difficult things to grow and evolve and gain some perspective and to hopefully one day. share them as funny stories like this. Thanks again for tuning in to this episode of the Reform Tired Girls Club podcast. If you liked it, don't forget to subscribe, like, all that good stuff. I'm on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, that good stuff. Really, really would appreciate it. Really help them swing out. And I will, yeah, see you next week.