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What Regret Can Teach You With Carly Taylor · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

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  Speaker 1: Everyone, It's Cully Taylor here for this week's Mojo Monday.
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  Speaker 1: So I'm sure most of you, like me, have a
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  Speaker 1: few regrets. You know, things that you wish you hadn't
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  Speaker 1: said or done, or things you wish you had said
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  Speaker 1: or done, or moments where you reacted instead of responding,
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  Speaker 1: and choices that you know may have cost you something.
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  Speaker 1: You know that could be big or it could be small.
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  Speaker 1: But regret is part of being human, you know. Regret
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  Speaker 1: tells us that we care. It tells us that something mattered,
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  Speaker 1: and they're different patht what pathways that lead us there?
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  Speaker 1: You know, Alcohol, of course, can lower the brain's executive function.
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  Speaker 1: Heighten emotion can do something similar fear, anger, hurt, even excitement,
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  Speaker 1: And when emotions surge, our nervous system ends up driving
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  Speaker 1: the bus. And in those moments we can do things
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  Speaker 1: that we normally wouldn't choose to do. So think of
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  Speaker 1: something that you regret in your life. So maybe it
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  Speaker 1: led to a loss, could have been a friendship, a partner,
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  Speaker 1: trusting someone trusting you, an opportunity, money, And when you
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  Speaker 1: revisit it, does your body respond, Like does your heartbeat
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  Speaker 1: a little bit faster? Do you start to kind of
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  Speaker 1: beat yourself up about it. Because our minds are so
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  Speaker 1: powerful they replay moments vividly. The body responds as if
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  Speaker 1: it's happening right now. And this is why I want
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  Speaker 1: to offer a different lens when it comes to regret.
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  Speaker 1: So instead of using regret as a weapon to beat
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  Speaker 1: yourself up with, what if he used it as a teacher.
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  Speaker 1: So the Stoics spoke about wisdom as a virtue. So
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  Speaker 1: that doesn't mean we're not talking about intelligence, but talking
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  Speaker 1: more about discernment, which is the ability to make why decisions,
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  Speaker 1: to see clearly, to understand the consequences, and to align
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  Speaker 1: our actions with character, to act with intention. So when
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  Speaker 1: I look back at the things that I regret, I
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  Speaker 1: can see that I didn't yet have that wisdom, that
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  Speaker 1: awareness that I have more of now. I didn't have
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  Speaker 1: the distance between thought and action that I'm able to
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  Speaker 1: create now, And that perspective can turn down the voice
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  Speaker 1: of regret. It certainly doesn't excuse behavior, but it puts
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  Speaker 1: it into context. So I'm the same person, but I'm
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  Speaker 1: not the same version of me. I do feel now
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  Speaker 1: that I'm more self aware, more intentional, more aligned with
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  Speaker 1: who I stand for, and how much we have grown
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  Speaker 1: often becomes clearer when we compare who we were then
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  Speaker 1: to who we are now, and heartiness gives us a
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  Speaker 1: useful lens heres so hardiness the four pillars of hardiness,
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  Speaker 1: which are commitment, control, challenge, and connection. So regret can
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  Speaker 1: fuel our commitment, our commitment to becoming the kind of
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  Speaker 1: person who acts with intention. It strengthens control, recognizing that
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  Speaker 1: while we can't change the past, we can change how
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  Speaker 1: we respond to our circumstances now, and it can reframe challenge.
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  Speaker 1: So seeing uncomfortable moments as training for our character, and
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  Speaker 1: it deepens our connection because when we own our missteps,
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  Speaker 1: when we take responsibility, relationships can often strengthen. So we
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  Speaker 1: can't develop wisdom through a perfect life. It's really forged
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  Speaker 1: in those uncomfortable moments. So if there's something that you
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  Speaker 1: were still holding on to, whether it's from last week,
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  Speaker 1: or last year or years ago, take a deep breath
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  Speaker 1: and then ask yourself, who was I in that moment?
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  Speaker 1: So what was driving me? Was it fear or insecurity
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  Speaker 1: or selfishness? What skill was missing? And what value did
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  Speaker 1: I step away from? And then you can ask who
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  Speaker 1: do I want to be next time? Intentional, connected, grounded wise,
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  Speaker 1: because regret becomes powerful when it becomes a lesson learn
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  Speaker 1: on this journey of life that we're on. So give
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  Speaker 1: yourself permission to grow past old versions of yourself. And
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  Speaker 1: that's perhaps where regret. What regret is offering, it's an
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  Speaker 1: invitation to grow and move forward. So that's it for
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  Speaker 1: today's Mojo Monday. I hope you all have a great
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  Speaker 1: week everyone, and I will catch you next week.