Latest / Health with Hashimoto’s - Thyroid or Immune Education for Autoimmune Thyroid Disease / 144 // How to build stress resiliency in real life with Rachel Skinner Fernandez

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144 // How to build stress resiliency in real life with Rachel Skinner Fernandez · Health with Hashimoto’s - Thyroid or Immune Education for Autoimmune Thyroid Disease

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Welcome back to another episode of Health with Hashimoto's. I am so excited
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to bring my guest to you today. This is my friend, Rachel.
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Rachel Skinner Fernandez is a nervous system coach.
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She's the host of the Ditch Mom Anxiety Podcast, and she helps moms regulate
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their emotions by calming their nervous systems.
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After decades of anxiety resulted in bouts of mom rage with her first child,
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Rachel learned the power of healing her nervous system through holistic health
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solutions grounded in biblical truths and practical lifestyle shifts so that
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she could show up as a present joyful mom.
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And now she loves to help other moms find their own path to healing so they
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can stop yelling and start laughing and finally find their calm in motherhood.
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Rachel, I absolutely love that. And I'm so excited for you to share some stress
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tips with my audience because we're all dealing with stress, right?
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Yes. No, unfortunately, it
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is something none of us are gonna escape in our lifetime, I don't think.
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Yeah, no. I read a statistic and I don't remember the exact thing,
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but it was something like we experienced more stress in one week than like three
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generations ago experienced in an entire year.
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Yeah, I believe it, especially with technology and just the things that we're dealing, which,
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you know, I mean, it's like, thank God for technology in so many ways,
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But then the amount of just mental load and information that we're dealing with,
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like just that alone and the amount of stress that our bodies go through trying
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to like assimilate all of the things that are out there.
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Like it's crazy how much stress we're dealing with on a daily basis. It absolutely is.
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Yesterday, it was so crazy. Around 1030, my internet went out,
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but so did my cell phone. And they're on two different carriers,
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like two different things.
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So I still don't know how it happened. But for 10 hours yesterday,
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I had no communication with the outside world. Like my phone was on SOS mode.
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It took an hour to send a text message to my parents and...
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You know, it was just so crazy. I was really glad that I didn't have any appointments
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scheduled for the afternoon because I had no way to like communicate.
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Right. So I'm like, okay, so I'm like completely cut off from this outside world.
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So my stress should have been lower and kind of was like, I went outside,
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did all of this non-tech stuff, but at the same time, I was like more stressed
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because I couldn't do anything.
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Yeah. I was like, nobody can get me. I can't get anybody.
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And you're like, especially when you're not used to that. Right.
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I mean, it's like you said, generations ago, that would have been normal and
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no big deal, which, you know, sometimes I wish.
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But it is nice having a washing machine, I guess. It totally is.
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But goodness, it's crazy how even I was just listening to a podcast the other
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day and I was thinking back,
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like she was talking about how us growing up, what we had cell phone wise,
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like what we had technology wise, how we were writing papers in like middle
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school, like with encyclopedias versus our kids now have just information at
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the touch of their fingertips and you just go, wow, things have changed.
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And that's the other thing to you when you think about it is it's not just technology,
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it's how quickly and rapidly it has changed.
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Because, you know, like she was talking about, we were doing papers with encyclopedias
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in middle school just a few decades ago.
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And now it's like our kids are never going to know a world without AI.
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How crazy is that, you know? Right.
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Right. And now they have to figure out if they can trust what's on the computer.
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I mean, sometimes AI and the internet is so helpful and sometimes AI and the
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internet is full of lies and hallucinations. Exactly.
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Figuring out what is true and what is not. And that is in the world of health too.
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Absolutely. 100%. It's all over. Yeah. So tell me more or tell my audience more
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about like your journey and
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to covering anxiety and stress. Yeah. You were open with your, your rage.
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Right. Yeah. And I think that really brought it to a head, but anxiety has been
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a journey of mine for, I mean, as long as I can remember, uh,
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since the time, you know, any
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kind of achievement thing was in my probably middle school, high school.
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Where my mom is highly anxious person.
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My, I could see it. My grand, it was a generational thing for sure.
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My grandmother was very stressed and I could see the anxiety in her before she
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passed away that has, you know, seen it in my mom.
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I've seen it passed down to her siblings, my siblings, how we all.
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And so it's very much a generational struggle and health issue for many of us.
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But I, and I never really thought anything of it. I always just thought I'm
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an anxious person. Like, that's just how I'm wired.
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I'm, you know, type A, like I'm a very driven person.
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I went to law school. You know, it's just really stressful to be a lawyer. And it is.
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But that's just how I'm wired. Right. And then I had kids.
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Well, then we struggled to have kids. And And I started really learning about
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the relationship between stress and health and like what that looks like for
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fertility and how that impacts how we are able to carry, you know,
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a pregnancy to term and like how it impacts pregnancy.
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And so we lost we lost our first pregnancy. And that was just a real big wake
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up call for us of just understanding how these things worked in our bodies,
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like understanding my own body for fertility wise,
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understanding pregnancy, understanding stress and really having that wool pulled
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out of my eyes of saying like, I'm not just an anxious person.
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I actually do have control over how I interact with stress in my life,
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how I'm able to build my own resiliency to show up in a strong way and,
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you know, get pregnant, all of the things.
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And so we made a lot of lifestyle shifts at that point and got pregnant with
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my first, and then I had her. And...
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For the first time started experiencing like emotional rage,
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mom rage, what is what a lot of people call it.
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But like just the emotional dysregulation really came to a point so clearly
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to me because I was like literally getting mad at a baby, right?
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I may have struggled with this with my husband or with my family growing up,
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you know, having seen my anxiety play out in emotional dysregulation in other ways.
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But when you start realizing you are taking it out on a tiny human that really,
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you know, obviously has no control for anything and you're getting mad at a
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baby, you go, something else is going on here.
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Like, this can't just be who I am, right?
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And so that was kind of that next level of like, okay, we've looked at stress.
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We've looked at kind of the holistic picture of how do we build our health?
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How do we get healthier to have a baby?
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But now, like, I'm seeing this
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emotional dysregulation. I know that that can't be the end-all be-all.
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And as a believer, a lot of it is like, well, you need to read your Bible more.
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You need to go to church more often.
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You need to, you know, do all the Christian things, which not saying that the
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Holy Spirit doesn't play a huge part in our ability to regulate our emotions
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and to control ourselves,
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but also getting to the root of when your nervous system is so taxed out,
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it has no ability to regulate what's going on in your mind because it's just
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exhausted. It's on fire, right?
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You have inflammation all over. and so really that
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was my that was my second wake-up call
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almost of like okay we put some things in place but there's more I could be
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doing here because obviously something my body is telling me like I can't keep
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you in a in a normal state like it the littlest things are setting you off and
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that was just a red flag of me just going okay nothing's wrong with me.
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But my body is telling me it's missing something. And so that began the journey
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of like, well, what is it missing? What can I be doing here?
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What is the interplay between the nervous system and the thyroid or the nervous
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system or, you know, the brain and the emotional regulation and our hormones,
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you know, the hormonal imbalances that all come with pregnancy and all of the things.
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And then the mineral depletions that come with pregnancy, all of these things.
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And I just like dove in. It was like rabbit hole after rabbit hole of just learning
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all of the things I feel like they don't teach us in kind of the traditional
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medical system of understanding our bodies,
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getting in touch with our bodies, understanding our hormones,
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understanding the power and responsibility we have of being able to actually
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heal ourselves and the body's amazing ability to do that.
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And just saw a radical shift in how I was able to show up when I was supporting
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myself in very specific ways and then started helping other moms do the same
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thing and went, okay, we've got something here.
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Like we are missing a huge piece in our lifestyles where we're all running stressed out.
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We're all, we have so many moms that come to me. They're like,
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I'm yelling at my kids. I can't stop yelling at my kids. I'm so overstimulated.
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Everything is triggering me.
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And they think, and they're told by society, it's just the little years.
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It's just raising kids. It's just being a mom.
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And I am fully like committed to shouting it from the rooftops that it's not just motherhood.
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Like it actually is an imbalance in your body.
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It is probably depletions that you can very easily and simply address.
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It doesn't take thousands of dollars and thousands of, you know,
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dollars of work and supplements and all these things.
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Not that those things can't be helpful, but it's just simple shifts that we can make with our lives.
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And I just don't want anybody walking through life, especially mothers.
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Thinking that this is normal, that feeling this way is how it's meant to be.
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And this is just how it is. We just get through the little years and we get
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through all of this stuff and we just get through it when really there can be
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there's another side to that where when you support yourself and know what your
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body needs, you can show up so much more powerfully,
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so much more joyfully, and be able to really, I think, understand yourself in
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the way that the Creator has created us, which is such a beautiful thing,
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and that our bodies are amazing.
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And that's something that just blows me away every time, is
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how incredibly resilient God has
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created us and how amazingly He has designed
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our bodies to heal when we give it the tools that
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it needs to do so oh my goodness yes all
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of that yes especially the part where like what is common is not normal you
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are not designed to be in this stressed out state and when everybody says yeah
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just you're you're tired because you're a mom or you're stressed out because
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you're a mom they know that's common yeah.
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But it's not normal. It's not how we were created to be. Yeah.
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Yeah. So like when somebody is stuck in that stress mode, what's happening in
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the nervous system, first of all, and how does that impact the body?
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Yeah. So, you know, if you know anything about the stress response in the body,
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you've probably heard of the fight or flight response.
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You've heard of kind of how our body, or you've definitely been through this
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at some point in your life. All of us have.
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Or maybe you're like, for example, you're driving a car, someone pulls out in
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front of you, You slam on the brakes and you feel viscerally that surge of adrenaline,
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that surge of cortisol, the super, you know, focus you get.
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You're able to make quick decisions very quickly to swerve. Like you see everything very clearly.
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I mean, everything is just on high alert, right? Your body does that very,
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very well and is designed to do that for a reason.
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Because in those situations, you need to be focused on what do I need to do?
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You know, in the past, we've talked about like when we were running from a bear,
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you know, your body needs to be able to run fast, know where to go,
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like how to fight if it needs to, how to run if it needs to, all of the things.
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And so your body is going to prioritize those reactions over everything else.
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And that's a very normal thing. And what's supposed to happen after you have
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something like the car that pulls out in front of you is that your body surges
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the adrenaline, surges the stress hormones, and then it comes off.
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Then it takes it all down and it goes back to normal. It goes back to zero.
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The problem is, is that we aren't just dealing with things like running from a tiger or a bear.
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We're not just dealing with cars that are pulling out in front of us.
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Our body actually doesn't see the difference between that and the email from
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your boss that makes you really nervous that you didn't do something right at
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work. You know what I mean?
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Or, you know, the fact that maybe your kid is screaming as a mom.
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Your kid is screaming and having a total meltdown and you're trying to get out
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the door. your body is seeing that as a perceived threat in the same way as
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it did the car that pulled out in front of you.
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And so when you have all of these things happening on a regular basis,
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your body is constantly pumping out these stress hormones.
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And excuse me, it comes from, you know, the HP, the HPA access is really one
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of the biggest ones, which is your hypo, I can never say all the words,
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right? You probably can say all these words better than I can.
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But the hypothalamic pituitary adrenal access is really what is controlling
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those stress hormones, right?
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Well, when it's consistently in that loop of just constantly feeling stressed
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all the time and perceiving these threats in life, it goes to what we've all
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heard of probably as chronic stress.
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And what happens is your body is then prioritizing the stress response and putting
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on the back burner all of the things that it doesn't necessarily need to be
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able to swerve from that car or to run from that lion, which are things like your hormones,
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your gut health, your thyroid, and your ability to actually like get the thyroid.
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Your thyroid's like, okay, well, I'm prioritizing being able to run.
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Like, I'm not going to go and prioritize my thyroid hormone production because
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I don't necessarily need that right this second. Well, the problem is there's
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no time for it to come down from that.
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So your body's just burning through all this stress in this chronic stress state.
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And all of a sudden, your hormones are imbalanced on a regular basis.
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You all of a sudden can't eat things anymore. And you're limited to the types
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of foods that your body can handle because your gut is compromised.
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And so you get just kind of a domino effect of all these things because your
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nervous system is in this constant state of fight or flight. And...
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Music.
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How do we create safety for ourselves and for our body as well as we can to
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start kind of combating that response,
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that constant kind of chronic stress that's wreaking havoc on all of the things
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in our body that should be able to run pretty smoothly on a regular basis?
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Right. So what are some like the simple shifts? if we find ourselves always
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stressed or maybe it's just become so normalized that we don't even realize
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that we're always stressed.
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What are your favorite simple shifts to build that resilience and before even
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building the resilience to come down off of the stress?
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Yeah, and so like, again, like what I said, it's just really to simplify it,
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keep always think of like, how can I create safety for myself?
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And safety can come from so many simple ways.
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One, eat food. like when your
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body is not being fed regularly especially those
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moms that are listening right now like you have a tendency probably at
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least my clients do to not eat because they you're running
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ragged you're trying to feed the kids you're trying to get out the door you're in
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this crazy lifestyle where you get to two o'clock and you're like oh i had a
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granola bar with my kid today that was it that is a huge threat to your body
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your body thinks okay food's not coming and so you're just adding on stress
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to the already stressed out system so what's a simple fix there eat food and
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one of the best ways you can do that is to eat breakfast within 30 minutes of waking up.
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Because as soon as you wake up, you are giving your body the signal of you are
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being taken care of, you are getting food,
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ideally protein, fat, and carb, you know, get it nice and balanced there and
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get all of the macronutrients it needs to really signal.
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Again, we're signaling to our body, you are safe.
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You are safe. And one of the best ways you can do that is by getting up,
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eating food within 30 minutes to an hour of waking because it's just...
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I just want you to look at it as this conversation with your body of if you
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were with a child and a child was scared, you would constantly be doing things
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to help them feel safe in that situation. And you're doing the same thing for your body.
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And if you're a mom, this is a really easy thing to think about.
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How do you create? You don't even think about it when you have a baby.
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You're not thinking of it like this. But how do you create safety for a newborn?
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Well, the way you keep your newborn safe is you give them food regularly.
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You make sure they sleep and they have, you know, they're sleeping a lot.
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You give them lots of love and attention and, you know, affection and all the
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things. You are a newborn.
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And so it's a really easy way to think about it is like, I am a newborn in this
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stressed out. I'm scared.
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My body is scared. My body needs safety.
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How am I going to create that safety for it? Treat it like a baby.
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And one of the first things I always tell people is eat breakfast and eat some
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food, like regularly on a regular basis, because that is one of the best and
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quickest ways your body's going to realize, okay, I'm safe.
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Food is coming. We have food here. We're not in like a super stressed out state
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because every time you skip a meal or every time, you know, you don't listen
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to your body's cues on hunger to the point where you don't even notice them anymore.
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Like that's just, again, building that cycle of stress, stress,
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stress, perceived threat, threat, threat, threat.
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We don't have food coming and we're just going to keep building.
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We're going to start running on stress hormones because we don't have anything
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else to run on. So that's one of the biggest ways, I think.
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The easiest simple shifts to make is just to start eating breakfast in the morning.
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That's huge. And I know, you know, people talk about fasting and how amazing it is.
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And every time I've tried it, I think I've tried it two or three times.
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And I'm like, oh, no big deal. I can just skip breakfast because when I wake
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up, you know, I'm not that hungry.
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And I notice a difference in my stress response. And it's just like you said,
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my body doesn't feel safe.
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My stress hormones go up. my Hashimoto's has a flare or I'll gain weight because of that cortisol.
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And I'm like, oh, okay. So fasting does not work for me, or at least fasting,
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I'm pushing off breakfast.
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Like I have to have breakfast. I have realized that for myself.
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And, you know, I'm always open to learning from experts about fasting,
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but I know for myself, I can't skip breakfast.
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Like, yeah, my body needs it.
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That is such a key, Esther, to say is like, it is so important to,
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like we've talked about you know it's hard to to see all the
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different things that people tell you to do out in the world but what
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always matters most is what is working for you and the
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only reason you're the only way you're going to know that is by learning to listen
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to your body and like you said like that doesn't necessarily mean fasting isn't
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going to work but it definitely isn't working in that way and and so like being
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able to listen and understand like how this is affecting yourself and thinking
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about the fact that, am I creating safety for myself?
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Would it be better to maybe eat when the light is up and maybe not eat at night?
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Because here's the deal. We are all fasting at night. We're all fasting when we sleep.
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That's just normal. And that is, that is worked into our bodies.
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But like you said, is skipping breakfast actually telling myself that I'm safe
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or is my body, like you said, telling me in all these different ways that I ain't working for me?
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Right right so eating
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sleeping feeling loved i love
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like picturing a newborn i can do that so easily
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so thank you for that mental picture because i've had
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four i can picture that i know what it takes to keep
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a baby healthy and safe and you know when
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a baby is stressed they tell you they're right they're
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fussy just because i have the ability to
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not show my emotions doesn't mean that i'm
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not feeling stressed exactly yeah and i
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mean that's and that's that's kind of a side a side discussion like
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i was saying is learning to listen to your body that takes time a lot
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in fact you know one of the easiest things i think to do which helps with learning
19:59
to build your stress resiliency is learning to listen to yourself and one of
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the things i walk my clients through very often is because we have been so disconnected
20:06
from ourselves and how we feel is to just get into the habit of doing like quick
20:11
body check-ins at least two to three times a day.
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And one of the easiest ways to do this is either when you're like doing something,
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you know, habit stacking.
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So if you're brushing your teeth or even if you're making lunch or something,
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something that you do regularly during the day to just tag on a two to three
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minute just check-in with yourself of like.
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Do I have to pee right now? Like, how do, am I hungry? When was the last time I ate? Am I thirsty?
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How is my body actually feeling? Like, am I tense? Am I holding tension in certain places? Am I sore?
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And, you know, like, how do I feel in the chair I'm sitting in or the floor I'm standing on?
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Like, what is the, what does everything feel? Like, what is my body actually feeling right now?
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And getting into the habit of doing that every single day, I mean,
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just start with one time, if that's where, if you're completely disconnected
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from your body, start with one time a day when you're brushing your teeth in
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the morning, or even just both the times you brush your teeth in the morning
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and night of checking in.
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And it's crazy because you're going to start, as you start listening and you
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start noticing the things that your body is telling you, or even your mind is
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telling you, you're going to start noticing it throughout the day too,
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because you've started opening up those communication pathways with yourself again.
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And you're able to start shifting as you hear those messages,
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as opposed to ignoring them, ignoring them, ignoring them.
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And then all of the sudden, you have a full flare of Hashimoto's because you're
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stressed, you haven't listened to anything, you're not giving your body what
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it needs, you know, or whatever else is going on, because you haven't been listening.
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And so really opening up those communication pathways in a very,
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very simple way of just learning to check in with yourself on a regular basis
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can do wonders for your awareness.
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And then the next step, of course, is then meeting those messages,
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meeting those requests and helping fuel your body or give your body what it
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needs on a regular basis.
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That's huge because we put everybody else first yep so acknowledging and then
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doing those two different things rachel i could do number one i can't do number two yeah.
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When i had when i had kids in car seats thankfully like i love being past that
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stage quite honestly having no
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car seats in my car is a beautiful thing i dream i do dream of those days,
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But I remember that was one of my first habit stacks of like checking in with myself.
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Getting everybody out the door and in the car was so stressful that every time
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I put my seatbelt on, that was my trigger to relax my shoulders,
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unclench my jaw, because that was like my most stressful part of the day or
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the week was getting everybody out the door, getting everybody dressed appropriately and out.
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But I just knew, like, I didn't even have to check in with myself.
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I knew that as soon as I got in the car, I was already, like, stressed up to here.
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And so I knew I had to relax my shoulders, relax my jaw, relax my tongue,
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take a deep breath. Okay, now we can go.
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Exactly. Absolutely. 100%. And that worked great for you. And so it's like,
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find something that works for the listeners.
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Find something that works for you during the day that you do almost every day,
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you know, and tie that in and just
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relax, check in with yourself and think about what do I need right now?
23:19
Yeah. So what are some of your favorite go-to's?
23:22
When you notice that you're stressed? Like I mentioned like relaxing my shoulders,
23:27
jaw, tongue, because that's where I hold my stress.
23:29
But I'm sure I could be doing way more and my listeners could be doing a lot
23:33
of stuff. What are your favorites?
23:34
Yeah. Oh, my favorite is just to get in the sun if I can, like to get outside
23:38
and get my eyeballs in the sunshine.
23:40
And that was actually, that's another like really simple shift to make.
23:44
It's in the morning, so that can be a little bit difficult to get used to.
23:47
But getting morning sunlight has been the probably the hands down the most transformational
23:53
like step that I've ever taken to like transform how my hormones show up,
23:56
how I show up as a mom, how I sleep,
23:58
like how I eat food, how my body can use food, all by just getting up and spending
24:03
15 minutes in that first morning sunlight in the morning.
24:06
Or even just as soon as you wake up, if you're not waking up with the sun right
24:09
now, it's crazy because if you start doing this every morning,
24:12
you start, you will start waking up with the sun. It's insane how it works.
24:15
But like just getting outside if you can and getting your eyeballs in the sunshine
24:19
for that first for like your first 10 to 15 minutes within that first 30 minutes
24:24
to an hour of waking up is incredible how it will reset your body.
24:28
And it's so easy because you don't have to do anything.
24:30
So I just like shove my kids outside. I'm like, we're standing outside for 15
24:34
minutes and we'll have breakfast.
24:35
But that's one of my favorite things to do even during the day too,
24:39
is like, if I'm trying to create space in my body, like if I notice that I'm
24:43
holding myself tensely, then I'll go through kind of a quick,
24:46
it's called bow spring, but just kind of like some opening,
24:50
some opening movements to just kind of open up my shoulders,
24:54
open up my hips, like all the things that I tend to like hold my tension in.
24:57
And then if I can, I will move myself outside as soon as I am feeling any kind
25:02
of stress or overwhelm or overstimulation.
25:05
It's just to get in the sunshine because it has such a powerful effect on ourselves
25:09
and our ability to just take in that light and.
25:13
Reset, if I can ground, even if I'm like in my, in my room, if I can't get outside
25:18
or from somewhere else, if I can get on the floor,
25:21
get my whole body on the floor, even just sit on the floor, that is so calming
25:25
to me and so calming to most to just have that body connection with the ground,
25:30
even if it's in your house.
25:32
Great if it's outside too, but like just kind of having that,
25:36
let me think about it, like a baby.
25:37
When you hold a baby, you're really touching all of the areas of their back,
25:41
you're really giving them that input on their skin of like being held.
25:45
And the ground does that for us too, of being able to just lay down.
25:49
There's a reason that we lay down and we feel like held.
25:52
So those are my favorite go-tos is like creating space in my body through some
25:56
bow spring, quick bow spring movements, getting outside in the sunlight,
26:00
and then laying on the ground, whether ideally outside, but even if not inside, just getting grounded,
26:06
getting something to kind of feel like I'm being held and then taking some deep breaths. Yes.
26:10
Yeah, I love that. And I mean, it's April. So in Minnesota, I can now do that. The sun is coming.
26:18
I had my, I washed all my bedding yesterday. I put it out on the line.
26:22
Oh, it was so nice to be out in the sun. I did not get on the ground.
26:25
I thought about it, but we have a lot of chickens and I didn't really feel like
26:30
looking for an area that was free of chicken poop.
26:32
Yes. We used to have a lot of chickens too, and it was a little bit more difficult than it is now.
26:39
Yes. But one thing that I think of when you're talking about all of this,
26:43
my brain immediately says, but I don't have time. But then I think about my phone.
26:48
And when I am stressed, I know that one thing I'll do if I'm procrastinating
26:54
because of stress or just wanting to shift my perspective, unconsciously,
27:00
I'll reach for my phone and I will scroll.
27:03
And instead, I could go outside like I do
27:06
have time I waste time on my phone yeah yeah you're
27:09
not saying like change your life and move out to the like go
27:12
be a hermit you just like quick go outside I
27:16
love that even if you can get in front of a window that you can open up enough
27:18
to get the sun you know what I mean like I mean yeah the thing is is we can
27:22
all we can tell ourselves I tell myself this all the time and I have to have
27:24
this conversation myself all the time anytime I'm trying to implement a shift
27:28
into my life that is going to really resource myself from the ground up and
27:32
add in that safety for my body.
27:34
Your brain does not want you to change. It wants you to stay in where you are.
27:39
And it is just how we're wired.
27:41
And we have to understand that about our brains.
27:43
And the truth is you can tell yourself all day long, I don't have time.
27:47
Or you can say, I'm going to take responsibility for myself and I am going to make it happen.
27:53
Like I am going to find the time that I know that I have because I'm spending it on something else.
27:57
And so it's not easy, but it does require us to take some responsibility for ourselves.
28:03
And this is a journey I've been walking with myself for probably the last couple
28:06
of years on just really...
28:09
Not arguing with my brain, but like not always listening to what my brain is telling me initially.
28:15
Because when you start getting a little bit more aware, like you said,
28:19
of, okay, I don't have time, but I'm going to go spend 15 minutes scrolling
28:22
because I want to avoid something where I could go avoid something outside in
28:25
the sunshine. Let's just do that instead.
28:28
Or like if you're a mom, I know that this for me was a huge thing.
28:31
I would get up in the morning and grab my phone and scroll instead of getting
28:37
up, putting a pair of shorts on and walking outside.
28:40
And even if you have to convince yourself to get outside by scrolling on your
28:44
phone outside, do that. Like get yourself outside in the morning. Like just do it.
28:48
Like find, just make it happen. And if that means putting your shorts on next
28:53
to the, you know, next to the bed, just having a robe that you can throw on so you can walk outside.
28:57
If it, Whatever can make it as easy as possible in the morning for you,
29:02
take the responsibility to make it happen.
29:06
Because I promise you, when you start doing these things, and it doesn't just
29:10
have to be the morning sunlight. It's things like the eating breakfast.
29:12
I have so many moms like, well, I don't have time to make breakfast in the morning.
29:15
Okay, what can you make that's a grab and go?
29:18
Yep. There are a thousand things. You can grab a yogurt, and that's got protein,
29:22
and it's got probably not fat, but it's got carbs.
29:25
It's got protein. you can probably throw some fat in there somehow like
29:28
it doesn't have to be complicated we want to
29:31
make things complicated our brains are going to tell us that things are too
29:34
complicated and too hard it's really not they're so simple it's so simple but
29:39
you've got to get used to like I've had to get so used to being like that is
29:43
not what that is not the truth my brain is trying to convince me not to do this
29:46
it is not as hard as it's making it out to be right now oh my goodness that is the truth.
29:52
Our brains want to stay stuck, even if we know that we're stuck in an unhealthy way.
29:58
Somehow our brain is like, oh, this is just better than change.
30:02
Like, no, I love that you said we can argue and know the truth.
30:06
Yeah. And, you know, like, and grace to our brains. Like, the thing is,
30:10
our bodies have figured out how to keep us safe with what they have to work with.
30:14
Yeah. And so it's done the best it can.
30:17
And that, too, it is safety. It has built safety. But now we're at a point where
30:21
we're like, okay, this type of safety is not serving me anymore.
30:24
And I am ready for the next level. And that requires a little bit of growth
30:27
and your body ain't used to it and it doesn't really want to do it.
30:30
But at the end of the day, we have to be able to say, to recognize with love
30:34
and grace and say, our bodies have been amazing at doing what it needs to do to keep me alive.
30:40
Because that's what our bodies are amazing at. They will do it.
30:43
They will keep you alive, running on empty.
30:46
And other things may seem like they're falling apart, but it's doing that for a reason, right?
30:50
Like it knows it can't function everything and keep you alive.
30:54
So it's going to keep you alive.
30:55
And then it builds almost this safety that becomes comfortable.
30:58
It becomes the regular like every day of like, this is how it's learned how to operate.
31:03
It knows how to operate in this way and it doesn't want to change.
31:07
And great for our bodies for figuring that out. But all right,
31:10
it's time to strap on our bootstraps and get to the next level of safety that
31:14
maybe is a little bit more resilient and a little bit more enjoyable without,
31:19
you know the the flares and the discomfort
31:22
and the crappy hormones and all of the things that are going on because it doesn't
31:26
have to be like that right right rachel thank you so much for sharing all of
31:33
this if a listener could only remember one thing from this entire conversation
31:38
what is the most impactful thing that she should remember.
31:42
I'm just going to go back to creating safety for your body.
31:45
Like, I mean, truly, when you break it down, if you can get that simple,
31:49
like, what can I do right in this moment to create safety for myself?
31:53
That could be something like deep breaths. It could be something like going in the sunshine.
31:58
It could be something like, what can I do to create safety? Okay,
32:00
I am going to feed myself breakfast.
32:01
But if you could go back to that idea of I'm feeling overwhelmed,
32:06
if it's a moment of like overstimulation, overwhelm, like, you know,
32:10
you're spiraling, ask yourself, what can I do to create safety for myself in this moment?
32:14
Deep breaths, you know, get on the ground, any of those things.
32:17
Or if you're looking at your life and like, I'm sick of feeling like this,
32:20
I'm sick of the stress always impacting my day-to-day life of feeling rushed,
32:25
of just living a life of stress, then it may be a broader question.
32:29
But what are the small steps you can do to create safety for yourself?
32:33
How would you do it for a baby? What's one step you can do today to create safety
32:37
for your own body like you were a baby? And I think that just keeps it simple.
32:43
Yes, and we need simple. Thank you. Where can my listeners connect with you
32:47
if they want to go deeper and learn more and continue the conversation?
32:51
Yeah, well, I'd love to have you. My favorite place to hang out is my podcast.
32:54
So I have the Ditch Mom Anxiety Podcast where we talk all things anxiety and
32:59
nervous system regulation and just mom rage and all of the things of your mom.
33:04
It's definitely a great place to be.
33:05
We're always talking about simple shifts we can do to just holistically take
33:09
care of ourselves in a society that is constantly telling us more and faster
33:13
and all of the things that just kind of feel like overstimulating on top of having children.
33:18
And so that is the place where I love to be. And I would love to have you over
33:22
there and come listen. but that's, yeah, that's where I hang out the most.
33:26
I am on Instagram at Coach Rachel Fernandez, but I'm not very active on there.
33:30
So the podcast is the best place to find me.
33:32
Perfect. Thank you so much. Thank you, Esther.
33:37
Music.