Latest / The Kink Consultant / Ep 25 - Exploring Kink and Role Play with Saturday Box: A Chat with Emma Xin Velicky

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Ep 25 - Exploring Kink and Role Play with Saturday Box: A Chat with Emma Xin Velicky · The Kink Consultant

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It's the King Consultant podcast where we're turning up the heat
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on all things kink and dating, relationships and pop culture.
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So close the door, plug in your headphones, and let's get down
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to it. Hey everybody, welcome to this
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week's episode of The King Consultant.
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I am here with Emma Volitsky, the founder of Saturday Box, a
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kink and role play adventure company.
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Hey, Emma, welcome. Hey, it's so great to be here.
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I'm really excited to have you on, especially because I did the
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Saturday box that I got about two weeks ago and I've kept
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super quiet about it. I've not told anyone about the
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experience and I am dying to tell you someone actually.
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So I'm excited to chat about how much fun I had doing an
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interrogation. But before we get into all of
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that, I want to talk to you about Saturday Box in general.
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From the founder's mouth, I want to know how you started Saturday
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Box. Well, so Saturday Box is kind of
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my life fork. It's a little bit silly, but for
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me, I grew up in a religious kind of sex negative environment
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and I knew that I was kinky, but I had no words to describe it.
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So when you go into an environment where sex is a big
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note, kink and bondage restraints and spanking, like
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people don't even give you language to describe it.
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So a lot thought of my fulfillment was coming from, you
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know, the media, the great romance stories that I was
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seeing. I prefer the damsel in distress,
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maybe when she was in distress rather than when she got
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rescued. So that was kind of an
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indicator. But I was like, you know,
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thriving off these stories. It led me to, you know, become a
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romance author to explore all these creative pursuits and
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throw my energy into that at the same time, You know, lagging
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behind it, I would say, was a little bit of my practical
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experience learning what it is to actually negotiate that kind
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of thing with partners, having actual words for their first
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time in actual education. But finally, it's, you know,
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really started to catch up when I met my current husband, who
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was not, you know, super kinky to begin with, but he is a game
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designer. And his way of looking at kink
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and playfulness was so refreshing and so filling.
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And we were able to use, you know, like our great
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relationship skills and communication and also our
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professional creative energy to really create novel experiences
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for us. And when I realized that people
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were, you know, asking me, what do I do next?
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What's the tip of coming back for more?
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I was like, you know what, this really could be something and
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help other people so close the gap between these amazing
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fantasy experiences they have in their head and the reality that
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often comes with it. So that's kind of the the
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genesis of Saturday. Box I love the Genesis, but I
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need to take a moment because I'm obsessed with love and
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romance. You are a romance author who got
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together with a game designer who then brought both of these
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skills together to create Saturday Box.
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Yes, absolutely. We do a thing where probably
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I'm, you know, doing more of the nitty gritty and I do the actual
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writing, but we've been doing this thing where, you know, he's
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coming up with the game mechanic and we really look at it through
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that way, through the lens of like, we want there to be these
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like replayable experiences with different roles for people.
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And that's I think very different than a lot of
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approaches in the space that are really like, you know,
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educational learning library. This is really like trying to
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get you in that mindset where you don't feel self-conscious
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because you're just playing. You don't have to feel like I'm
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doing role play now because you are taking on the role, For
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example, that box you did, you know, you don't have to pretend
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to be interrogating someone. You are interrogating them.
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It's just through a lens, you know, that's playful and that
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both parties really want what they're going to get.
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So it's we like to say it's like a game where everyone wins.
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When I found out about Saturday box, I immediately went through
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and there were so many. There were like four or five
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options of different. I think there were four options
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that I could do at the time. The two that stick out are the
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interrogation box because anyone who follows me knows my favorite
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scene is an interrogation scene, so that stuck out.
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The second one was a fairy and I'm not into fantasy at all, but
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this fairy box stood out because I was like, I want to role play
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a fairy. But I did end up going with the
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interrogation box for one reason.
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I wanted to test you guys out a little bit.
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And I was like, I know a lot about an interrogation scene.
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Let me see how they And also I wanted my play partner to be
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able to learn. I don't want to teach every step
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of how to do an interrogation scene when they're the ones
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interrogating me. So it's like, yeah, I could use
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a little assist from Saturday box.
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So when it arrived and it had so much prep work, but also there
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was number line by line, say this and then this.
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It was like, here's your character, here's your
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objective. Here's how she's gonna set it
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up. Go.
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I was like, OK, this is the right amount of hand holding.
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And also choose your own adventure that I wanted in a
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role play kink adventure for us. And it worked really well.
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Like I'm obsessed with this now. I'm going to try not to just go
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through every aspect of it so people can be surprised when
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they get it. It makes sense now that I
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understand. There was a game designer and a
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romance author teamed up to produce this.
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I'm so, so happy you had a great experience with it because I
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would probably say a lot of people to come to Saturday Box
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are more beginners and this is kind of their entry into space.
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But I really wanted to create something that was going to work
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for people with all experience levels, especially because you
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might have a partner, one who's very experienced, one who's not
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as experienced or two people who are experienced, but this is a
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fantasy you haven't quite done yet.
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And you don't want to have to, you know, walk them through it
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because then that kind of takes away some of the mystery.
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And I think another component there is from the sub side of
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things, like a submissive side of things.
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And then honestly, with Saturday Box, we usually stray away from
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using like Dom and sub. We usually just go by the rules,
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but we very much already hearing to, you know, like an m.f sub
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template. The thing from the sub side is
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that's something I experienced in my own life, which is you
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might have the knowledge of what you kind of want or you have the
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inklings of what you kind of want, but it's very scary.
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And you know, we always call it like topping from the bottom,
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right. If you want to get what you want
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and you have to tell them, like, I want you to tie it up.
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Like there's, you know, everything loses it.
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So it's like if we can kind of come in as your confidant and to
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be really representing you and you look at it and you go, yes,
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this is me. And you can kind of pass that on
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to the other person. Like that's a great experience.
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And then on the other side of things, because, you know, if
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you're a dominant person and you want to do this kind of stuff
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for your partner, I think especially for men, there can be
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that fear of like, is it going to come off as creepy?
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Are they going to misunderstand me?
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Because kink kind of can have a bad breath.
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And here when we have Saturday box, it's very much through this
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like fantasy rich romantic lens, although it's not skimping on
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any of the hardcore kink or role play.
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I think that's just a less intimidating thing to say to
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approach, you know, your your female partner with and say,
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Hey, is this something you want to try?
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Because it's not showing, you know, in a degrading way unless
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the right kind of degrading, of course, the right kind of
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degrading. We love we.
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Love, I love some consensual degradation.
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Absolutely. Yeah, you're spot on with that
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because I end up as a sex and relationship coach working with
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a lot of men who fear letting their dominant side show because
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of years of of counter teaching of don't be yourself, be gentle,
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be nice, don't be aggressive. And there's a confusion about
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what dominance is versus what I guess the alpha male is, which
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not a huge fan of that term anyway, but.
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Yeah, because it's also based on a study that's debunked.
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It's really interesting to me always, like what is dominant
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and what is not. And I mean, it's really funny.
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We've been watching Friends. I've never seen Friends because
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again, I grew up in kind of a religious way.
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One of the many shows that are off the table along with Sabrina
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the Teenage Witch, because that was considered a cult.
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I couldn't watch the crossover of Wizards of Waverly Place when
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they did the vampire. So no vampires.
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And also I was not allowed to watch Friends because it was too
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sexual. Which now watching it, I mean,
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there it is kind of sexual, but we've been watching it and you
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know, you have like Ross, who everyone loves to hate and he is
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very overprotective and he gets angry and he gets aggressive.
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And it's just, you know, I've been having this wonderful
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conversation with my husband about like, he's really not
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attractive in most of those modes, except when he's like
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protective with a real understanding of like Rachel's
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needs. And I think that that is the
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thing people get wrong about dominance, which for me is so
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much like a presence of mind and a control of self that just like
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by them being there, like enables you to let go.
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And so that's, I think such a different definition of
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dominance than one that is like seeking to control or exert on
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other people rather than having almost like this magnetic
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presence that's drawing you in. You know, when we think about
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like these dominant men, especially our customers who are
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like going out on A and buying a box that's all pink on the
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inside, you know, for their wives or their partners or their
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girlfriends. I'm like, oh, to me, that's such
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a strong, like masculine, dominant man who's just so
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comfortable with themselves and is, you know, willing to put
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themselves out there for their partner and lead the way in that
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way. Do you see a lot of men buying
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the box? You know, most of our business
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up to, you know, Box 3, it was really the majority of 10 and
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not by a lot, a short amount maybe, but it was I'd say 80% or
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90% men. And I think that, you know, that
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just speaks to the need. If you're trying to be dominant
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and you don't have experience, where do you start?
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Really? There's not a lot that's going
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to help you other than, you know, a listicle and then a
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listicle can't really help you that much.
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That was kind of the trend and that started to reverse a little
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bit where we've been getting a lot more women with this fairy
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tale box that you had mentioned. Because I think Fey and Fey
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romance and Fairey, like that's such a big part of the zeitgeist
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in female romance culture right now.
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I think it's really awesome to be able to tap into that with
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all these women and their book boyfriends and they're, you
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know, you see, sometimes content that's like, this is my book
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poor friend, you know, but to say like, no, he can, then he
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will. And I think just bridging that
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gap for us is like really our goal where we can have both
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people's kind of start from this is where my fantasy experiences,
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this is where my locus of desire is.
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And here's how I can connect it to my real life partner and get
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to like share some of that about me and to develop a new exciting
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thing with them. How are you releasing the boxes?
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Like are there themes every quarter or something?
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Like in six months would I still be able to come to the site and
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buy the interrogation box? We definitely take an Evergreen
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approach. There are a lot of companies
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that like to do like this, like exclusive, like drop thing.
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Like look, that's never going to be us unless we have a problem
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with stock. Like we will have a problem with
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doctor for some points. But the reason is because, you
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know, when we think about especially like as a kinky
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person, right, where you have like things you come back to all
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the time. Mine is prison.
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There is a prison box. I'm obsessed with prison.
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I'm sorry. Like I was cleaning up my phone
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the other day and I was looking through notes and I was like,
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why are there like 10 fully different unfinished prison
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erotic goes on here? Like what was I doing?
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Where was I when I was writing these?
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But it's something that I come back to like how can I put a new
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spin on it? How can I do it a little bit
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differently? But I really like that.
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And I think that that's how the way a lot of people are.
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There's some, you know, they might like king a role play or
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power exchange broadly very much.
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And of course they can like something that's a little bit
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out of their theme, you know, if it hits the right notes for
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them. But they're probably things that
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just speak to them in a slightly different way.
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We all have these different experiences that kind of drag us
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toward that. There are different elements of
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each thing. It's really important that that
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we kind of have really, really good adventures that can speak
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to people score that are always available.
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We had a subscription very briefly, but we got rid of it
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because with this box, it's not just like a bunch of stuff, you
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know, it's a costume or a lingerie piece that really we
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want to make sure a size to you. We have all of these pieces.
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It's not like nuts, you know, nuts aren't just like it's just
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can't just come in the mail. We were trying to provide such a
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level of service where we really checking in on people, like
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what's your next box that we were like, you know what
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actually like they can contact us if they need us.
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Like we need to let people have this face to pick it themselves.
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And we never want anyone to feel rushed.
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Like that's the last thing you want from this kind of
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experience is to feel like guilty.
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Oh, we had kids this week. Like we weren't available to get
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it. Like I want people to have a
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good experience. I don't want anything to get
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away with it. So we kind of simplified and we
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got riddles of subscription. But you know you can love really
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get it. And I think that like it does
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make me more likely to come back to because I don't feel forced
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to choose something immediately. I am really interested in the
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Fae one because, as I said, fantasy has never been my thing.
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So then this is a providing an easy way to dip into it without
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having to, I don't know, read all of Acatar, which you have
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read the first two, you know, like, and it was really good.
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Just haven't gone through the whole series.
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So I'm really excited about that.
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And then you also have the secretary one, which I'm a huge
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fan of putting on glasses and a skirt.
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So I felt prepared. I felt like I got that one down.
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Like how do you decide on what the next theme is going to be?
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So we do have a next theme that we're ready and I can tease that
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it's going to be called Arabian Nights.
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And so it's going to be our take on slave and master, but in a
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very different kind of way. So we have a lot of like, fun
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surprises. They are coming up.
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But basically our approach is really looking for inspiration
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in media, whether that's books or film.
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I don't think we've really done one that's around games, but
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we've kind of a really in referencing games, you know,
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through the actual construction of the box.
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But we really are looking through those fantasies that are
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timeless, that captivate us, you know, before the screen goes to
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black. And then we're trying to fill in
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the blanks kind of like, hey, what's happening?
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That's a little past that PG13 marker, you know, because I
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think that that for me is where I have always been able to
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connect to my kink side much more than on some of the, you
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know, strange kinky World Wide Web.
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I mean, my, one of my first experiences was that I had a
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recurring dream about Jafar kidnapping me.
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And I saw because I saw the movie Aladdin when I was like 3.
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And I was just obsessed with that, you know, And so it's like
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that's something we're showing to kids, but it was enough in my
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mind to click and to make that connection.
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So I think that's what we're really hoping is that we can
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take people a little out of this, like, and I'm not to say
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we'll never do schoolgirl, right, but take them a little
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out of this like you're a naughty schoolgirl.
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There's something that like, I think there's a world where some
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of that stuff can feel overplayed or corny, especially
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if you're not inoculated by having done a bunch of it, you
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know, taking what you like and leaving what you don't.
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So we're kind of trying to like clean the slate and go to
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something that has the same truth at its core, but something
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like you really never considered in that way.
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Before there is a definite draw for a lot of people to these
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types of themes. And also it's about getting lost
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in the fantasy of it. So what's more fantastical, I
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guess, than an Arabian Nights theme?
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I will say like an Evergreen image in my mind, right?
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Is Jasmine not in her blue outfit, Jasmine in her red
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outfit with the little chains on where she's like pretending to
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be serving him so she can like distract Jafar so that Aladdin
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can like do whatever he's doing something with the hourglass.
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So there's definitely that. And then the other things,
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obviously Shahrazad, which I really like, but, you know, is a
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little intense in that there's the threat of her being killed
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if she cannot, you know, tell her story.
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So we're kind of trying to weave in some elements of that into
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our boxes in a way that, you know, kind of gives a little bit
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of a nod to them, but maybe it's going to be a little bit more
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chill in some ways and maybe a little bit less chill another
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way. So what's your process though of
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like, you're not just giving people and I don't know if all
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of the boxes are like this, but with the interrogation scene, I
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had options of how I was going to play my character.
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They were fully baked out. There were three separate cards
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of you can play it any of these three ways and it gave details
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on like how I might act in it. I mean, it was helpful until we
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did a little bit of our choose our own adventure in how we
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within. I'm going to talk about that.
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But how do you create the interpretations of how the
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characters are going to be? Is that a little bit of your
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romance authoring and your husband's game design?
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We. Try to really come up with a
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compelling storyline, a compelling through line.
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And that is something that really guides us in a lot of the
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choices that we make. But again, like, I'm so glad you
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called out. Like we do not provide a script,
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right? It's not like that, like we want
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to have a combination of stuff that's setting the mood for you
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or even if you're just like, oh, that's kind of cute.
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Like that kind of puts it in my head and stuff that's like, OK,
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as this variation, you know, you could do X or Y.
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So I think it kind of comes with that story.
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And then like with writing when at least for me, when I'm
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writing characters, it's kind of like they're sort of this way
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they can go. If they do this kind of thing,
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then maybe that's someone who's a little bit more self-conscious
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or if you do this something, it's somebody who's more brazen.
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And so we kind of like as we're exploring, you know, different,
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different ways and different flavors for the scenario, we're
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kind of like, well, what what kind of character makes sense
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for that? And it's really important to us
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to always have all the variations because, you know,
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customers really report like it is just really the starting
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place. Like they can pick it up and go,
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but then they get so excited, like, oh, next time here's what
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I'm going to bring into it. And that's exactly what we want.
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We don't want you to, you know, have to stay by the book.
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We want you to feel inspired and feel empowered.
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Like with video games, we want to create like the really great
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sandbox for you to play in. And then this is something you
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can kind of come back to if you're looking for a new idea or
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you want to try something different.
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Because I think for me, like, you know, have almost like a
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default sub persona, I guess that I like usually have, you
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know, it really is like an active effort to try to do
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something else to give it a different flavor, to be more
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sensual or more confident. And you know, like you really
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have to kind of sit with yourself and be like, OK, these
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are the things I do. So we try to do some of that for
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you and being like, OK, if you want to be a character that's
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more proud or a character that's more domestic and kind of laying
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that out and giving you a little bit of the rationale behind it.
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I don't know, you know, for some people like that may not matter.
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I took like at least acting 1 and it was really, really a, you
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know, rationale driven. So I think it can just kind of
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help get it in your head. Are you also writing the
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dominant roles then? Yeah, I do that with a kind of a
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combination of between, you know, me and my husband because
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I think I'm really good at coming up with like the
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rationale, like the story, like who is this guy?
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And he's really good at coming out.
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Like, OK, and that's what you need to do to like be that guy
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or to be that guy for your partner.
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But it's so wonderful to work with my husband because there is
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like a gap in my knowledge, you know, being 1/2 of the equation.
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Also just in terms of speaking to the male fantasy part of it,
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for example, like with this Interrogator one, the early
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drafts of this character for the guy were very much like, I just
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had this like sense from like, I guess spy movies or like
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thrillers of the guy being sort of like gruff and he's like
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trying to retire all the time. Like, so all of them were
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versions of that. And he was like, that's not
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appealing because I think truly then when I break it down and I
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get into like the tropes of things, that is the classic male
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fantasy hero arc, right, which is this guy and he was great.
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He's like trying to live his life on the farm and people
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won't let him risk. So like I sometimes will over
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index on that because I'm so just subconsciously aware of it.
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But I think it's really great for him to really challenge me
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to say like, Hey, what are other interesting stories for the men
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here? Because even though we talk a
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lot about how female characters in the media a lot of times are
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flattens, there's also a way in which male characters, although
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they're prominently featured, are also flattened.
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And that's kind of like those two things are same size of the
18:18
same coin, right? Even though like we're the
18:20
sexual wolves company. Just, you know, really digging
18:22
into that and trying to bring out like, what are different
18:24
stories? Like what are different angles?
18:25
Like what are different motivations for people?
18:27
Because we we know that different people are going to
18:29
identify with different things. We don't want it to just always
18:33
be like the guy who's the lone wolf, you know, because we've
18:35
just seen that story told so many times before.
18:37
I think part of what we tried to do with Saturday Box, this is
18:40
kind of getting back to that conversation about like, what
18:42
does it really mean to be dominant instead of, you know,
18:45
having characters that basically like 1 character just wants to
18:48
control the other character. That's what's great about the
18:50
situational. And I think that's what's so
18:52
appealing about a lot of these non sexual fantasies is that
18:55
it's grounded in motivation. Some of the internal power
18:58
struggles are externalized by the circumstance.
19:01
So you're able to follow it a little bit better.
19:03
You're like, oh, it's not that he just like literally wants to
19:06
tie this woman up. It's that he needs to tie this
19:08
woman up because if he doesn't tie her up, then she's going to
19:11
get access to this thing, right? And so distracting out to that
19:14
level can make people feel a little more comfortable.
19:17
And like, especially if you're just, you know, in a place with
19:19
your kinky desires where you're not as forthcoming about it, you
19:23
know, then it's like, OK, well, I have this objective.
19:25
I'm just trying to accomplish this objective.
19:27
And then wow, when we do it and I'm really titillated now, I can
19:30
sit with that, you know, So it's just taking you out, out of your
19:32
head a little bit. It really does because it
19:34
provides both a goal, but then again, the freedom to play it
19:38
the way you want it. That's so important to me
19:40
because I, I didn't want something totally scripted.
19:42
Like you said, setup is strong. You can get into character
19:45
enough to play it out. I love that it was open and
19:48
there's a couple of things as the King consultant, I am
19:51
sometimes overly concerned with safety.
19:53
So I loved the light level of like, hey, do this, don't do
19:56
that. Like establish a safe word.
19:58
There were other parts of the game where it was like say this,
20:00
but make sure it's not the same word as your safe word.
20:02
So you're like continuously reminding people be risk aware
20:05
of the situation. This is not kink 101.
20:08
So like that's why I was able to come into it and really enjoy it
20:10
because I wasn't bogged down by safety.
20:12
However, I felt comfortable. There were some safety tips for
20:15
newer players. Not that my play partner is
20:18
super new, I just would say that I've been involved in more
20:20
scenes and more scene negotiation than him.
20:22
So like knowing that he was able to like just be reminded of some
20:25
of these things was helpful. Have you had feedback on that
20:28
since launching? I think that people really
20:30
appreciate that there is that safety element in the beginning.
20:33
One of our big strategies is we were getting the box out to like
20:36
a lot of sex therapists and some who specialized in kink and some
20:38
who didn't specialize in kink. And we got really great feedback
20:41
about that because I think people really, you know, the
20:44
information that we were providing, which we provide in
20:45
every box, although we try to keep it different.
20:48
And that's part of our advantage as a king and role play brand
20:52
where instead of it being the one kinky box among many
20:55
different box, some of them are like, use a feather under your
20:57
nose, right? People kind of know what they're
20:59
getting into with us. So we get to give specific to
21:02
that box. Hey, here's something that might
21:03
come up for you, you know, calling that out.
21:05
And then it's almost like we get to be the bad guy instead of you
21:08
having to like bring up to your partner.
21:10
Now we're never going to get everything.
21:11
So we really try to give that framework of like, hey, mistakes
21:14
or might happen here are times where you might want to pause,
21:17
like make sure you're reading their body language.
21:18
Do not rely on a safe word. Like that's very important.
21:21
But I think it's it's kind of nice for us to be able to do
21:24
that as well as kind of like acknowledging.
21:26
I do think there's this concept of like kink progression that we
21:29
can fall into, which is like, what's the first thing you might
21:32
want to do, you know, tell your partner like to stay where they
21:35
are or like to maybe try, you know, fuzzy handcuffs.
21:38
And we do have boxes we think are a little more beginnery and
21:41
boxes we think are a little more advanced, but but we also try to
21:44
acknowledge that like everyone's kind of in a different place.
21:47
And so something that's I might seem advanced to someone is kind
21:50
of beginner age of someone else, especially when it comes to
21:52
role-playing. That's the part you're
21:53
uncomfortable with. I think that there's a danger,
21:56
not a physical danger, but I guess just a personal danger
21:59
sometimes when you start too low on that scale if you're somebody
22:03
who's intensely kinky. Like that was one of my
22:05
experiences and I walked away from that experience not being
22:08
hurt at all, but thinking like, oh God, it was I wrong.
22:12
Do I not like King? And again, the guy, he was like
22:15
attractive and he was my friend and like, I think it was like
22:17
not the right setup and framing for me.
22:20
And so I think that's what's important is that like we want
22:22
to give even beginners, even if they're not doing the most
22:25
quote, UN quote hardcore stuff, the framing, they need to have a
22:29
really good experience And like, look, I'm sure like if somebody
22:32
who's very vanilla and does it, you know, they might still say
22:34
it's not for them. But hopefully they can enjoy the
22:36
other elements of it that are about playing with your partner
22:39
that are, you know, romantic and sensual and stuff like that.
22:41
And they can like, you know, tailor their experience towards
22:43
that, but we just want to make sure, like, we're giving people
22:46
enough of the pie that they can kind of launch off of it rather
22:50
than doubt themselves and their whole identity.
22:53
For sure, Oh my gosh, because already sex education is lacking
22:57
so much. This is like a soapbox that I've
22:58
been on lately. And kink exists and you and I
23:01
were both kinky from a very young age but had no context,
23:04
had no education on it. We were just sort of like, I
23:06
always describe myself as walking around feeling like a
23:08
little weirdo because it was like, we know I'm into something
23:11
that I know not to talk about open, but I don't understand it.
23:15
And I actually think a lot of my true sexual development was far
23:18
delayed because of it. Yeah.
23:20
Because I couldn't understand that what I was interested in
23:22
had anything to do with my sex life.
23:24
And I'm not saying all kink does.
23:26
There are definitely like, it can be separated.
23:28
But for me, it's almost like important for play.
23:30
And because I didn't have that connection and couldn't
23:32
understand it, it took me a lot longer to come to the
23:35
realization of what I enjoy is called kink and it's a regular
23:40
thing and this is how people practice it.
23:42
So I had to piece it together slowly with almost no
23:44
information. And I at least had came from
23:47
like a much more maybe open household where sex was even
23:50
talked about. It sounds like you had the
23:52
double difficult position of yes wasn't even discussed.
23:55
Actually, my parents gave me a birds and the bees talk pretty
23:58
soon because at our church they were having, like, victims of
24:02
sexual assault, like some Christian group, like speak.
24:04
And I was like in second grade. And so they were like, do you
24:07
know what sex is? And I was like, yeah, I know.
24:10
Like sex is like when you're sexy, like America's Top Model
24:13
because that was a show that I watched.
24:15
And I knew it was like when you do the lips and you do your
24:17
shoulders like that. I got that sense, right, because
24:19
it exists sort of outside of insertion.
24:22
But then they explained to me like, oh, OK, actually, like,
24:25
this is what literally sex would be.
24:27
So I technically knew, but so much of that was missing.
24:31
I would have even feelings in my body or, like, feelings when I
24:34
saw certain things, you know, like tingles in my neck, tingles
24:36
on my spine and not know how to interpret that.
24:38
I started going on these, you know, strange kink websites that
24:43
are still probably up, you know, where they're neon colors and,
24:45
like, weird pop up ads. Yeah.
24:47
And I didn't know that they were kink because people aren't
24:49
really having sex. And I'd be like, wow, why am I
24:51
so interested in it? That's weird.
24:54
I mean, I read a pirated version of 50 Shades of Grey on the bus
24:58
when I was part of a Miss Teen USA pageant.
25:01
I just like reading it privately to myself and being like, this
25:03
is so interesting and compelling.
25:05
I don't know what to do with this.
25:07
I would like be on the site Literotica in APUS history
25:11
reading it. Here's where the like healthy
25:13
line would be. So everything just felt really
25:16
blurred. And I think that's can be what's
25:18
scary with kink is where you're not sure what's OK.
25:22
So it's hard to know what's not OK for you because it already
25:25
feels like you're past the line where everyone would say, oh,
25:27
this is not OK. Like you shouldn't be doing this
25:29
to women, You shouldn't be restrained by your partner,
25:31
blah, blah, blah. Everything's supposed to be wild
25:32
and free. So I think it's hard to
25:34
interpret, like, hey, where are my personal boundary?
25:36
And it took a really long time for me to develop that sense.
25:39
Yes, I am obviously all for consent, but my personal
25:42
boundaries and what I'm open to feeling I need to consent to
25:45
versus what I would just want to happen, especially as a
25:48
submissive partner, is really difficult to balance out
25:50
sometimes because the nuances aren't taught.
25:53
That's what you have to figure out for yourself.
25:55
And I think part of our larger mission with Saturday Box is
25:58
normalizing kink and not just normalizing it in terms of, OK,
26:02
people know about it and they, you know, accept that people do
26:05
it, right to kind of change, change what that means and what
26:08
that means to the world. Because realistically, like when
26:10
we talk about consent, we're talking about changing not only
26:14
sometimes would like a legal definition, we're changing the
26:16
norms of like what's acceptable, right?
26:18
Is it acceptable to kiss someone without asking?
26:21
I think for some people they would like to be asked.
26:24
But for me, like I'm adopted, I grew up with Italian Americans
26:27
and every relative that is not even related to you kisses you
26:31
on the mouth. It's not like you love it.
26:33
It's fine. And you know, it's not a
26:35
violation. It's more just like now you have
26:37
some old person's mouth on you it, you know, And I think that
26:40
because through my mindset of that's what it is, it would be
26:44
pretty hard for me to feel violated depending on the
26:47
circumstances. Obviously if I'm at work and my
26:50
boss kisses me, right, That is, you know, definitely sexual.
26:52
For example, but good example. But you know, if I'm on a date
26:56
where there's supposedly we're trying to figure out is there,
26:59
you know, sitcoms, some chemistry between US and knowing
27:02
that I'm someone who likes my partner take the lead.
27:04
I want them to be able to read that off of me.
27:06
And in existing in that world, I have to accept there are times
27:10
where they might miss read it and I might get kissed a time
27:13
where I wasn't, you know, wanting to.
27:14
And then the question for me is like, does that have to be a
27:17
violation for me? Or am I saying, you know, it's
27:20
worth the trade off of me feeling like guys that I want to
27:23
kiss me can kiss? Me, I love this example because
27:25
I have this conversation with my girlfriends all the time.
27:27
First date, do you want them to just go in for the kiss or ask
27:31
can I kiss you? And we're kind of divided.
27:33
So it's hard for men and women, I think, to figure it out.
27:36
You know, like, what can we go? But for the record, I want
27:39
someone to just go for it. Just go for this.
27:41
Don't ask me. Don't like, put more questions
27:44
in my head. Let's just go and see from
27:45
there. And, you know, I've also had
27:47
times where I was totally, 100% on board with the kissing.
27:50
And then we kissed and then I went, you know, it's not it.
27:52
So it was good information for me to have.
27:53
I was like, good, good, good. Glad that we kissed.
27:56
Glad Now save everybody some time.
27:58
I know it does save time when you get a kiss on the first
28:01
date. Maybe I should be kissing more
28:02
on the first date because like I won't go for it and if they
28:05
don't go for it, I'm not going to be come here.
28:07
That's not my way. One of the predominant features
28:10
about kink to me, emotional intelligence.
28:13
And I think like that's one of the things that makes it succeed
28:15
the most because you know, you should be having the safety
28:17
discussions, you should be laying it out online.
28:20
A lot of it is like creating an environment where people are
28:23
comfortable enough to do this with you, creating an
28:25
environment where you're engaging in, you know, like
28:27
we'll say semi risky behavior and you want someone who's like
28:30
both partners should be watching out for the other one.
28:33
And I think that to me, that's sort of where kissing is like
28:36
that entry into it where it's like, I want to be kissed and
28:39
not someone have to ask me, but I want them to be right, you
28:42
know, And if they're not right, I'm not like angry with them,
28:44
but like, that's also something I'm looking for in a partner,
28:47
someone who can read my body signals because that's
28:49
incredibly important. Once you start getting into
28:52
that, you know, someone who is so present.
28:54
And that's just, again, all so funny because I would say like
28:56
my husband is the most like empathetic, considerate,
29:00
mindful, careful kind of person. People would say, oh, that's not
29:05
the kind of alpha dominant person you're looking for.
29:07
And I'm like, no, no, that is the kind of person.
29:09
Because when they're throwing you around, you want them to not
29:12
throw you into furniture. You want them to drop you hard
29:15
enough on the bed, but like be careful of like where your wrist
29:18
is and not bend you at a different angle.
29:19
Like that's what this is because nothing kills it faster than
29:22
when you get a Boo Boo, which you're going to get a Boo Boo
29:24
sometimes, you know? But like, it's right.
29:27
Yeah. So I think that again, that's
29:29
again where we're like changing the perception of like what
29:32
people are looking for in partners.
29:33
I've heard horror stories, right, of women, like getting
29:35
involved in Kang from guys. But I mean, I think it has to do
29:38
with if people are interested in that, do they know the right
29:40
people? Do they know the right way to be
29:42
getting engaged with that? And it's just changing that
29:44
perception of like, who does it? It's not like some creepy guy.
29:46
If you said, oh, it's someone who is like emotionally
29:49
intelligent that you feel safe enough to do that with them.
29:51
Well I mean that's a pretty big difference than what is the
29:54
current norm and expectation around kink now.
29:57
All right, Kingster, let's talk about pleasure.
30:00
Not just mine. Yours too.
30:02
If you're enjoying this episode of The King Consultant, I need
30:05
you to do me a little favor and I promise it'll feel oh so good.
30:10
Take a second and give this podcast a five star rating.
30:13
Just imagine your finger sliding all over that fifth star,
30:17
pressing down, giving it exactly the kind of attention it
30:20
deserves. Yeah, that's it.
30:23
And you know what happens when you do?
30:25
I get all hot and bothered knowing you're out there showing
30:28
your appreciation. Plus, every time you leave a
30:30
review, a naughty little brat somewhere gets that spanking
30:34
they've been begging for. So be a good listener and tap
30:37
that star, won't you? Thanks, love.
30:40
Now let's get back to the fun. Very true.
30:46
And I just want to take a second to just call out the fact that
30:49
that's another problem with kink being so underground is that
30:53
when you find someone who's into it, you're like, Oh my God, this
30:55
is the one person who's into it. I'll accept all the red flags to
30:58
practice it. And people don't realize you can
31:00
easily teach a partner things like Saturday Box make it easier
31:03
for partners to learn. And then it doesn't need to be
31:06
this secret thing and you don't need to put up with poor
31:08
character or all of these red flags.
31:10
Just have your sexual needs met or your kinky needs met.
31:13
One of my hottest scenes ever was a spanking scene.
31:16
As we know I'm obsessed with spanking and the guy spanking me
31:19
to this day, we talk about how it was one of our hottest
31:21
scenes. He would notice when I wasn't
31:24
breathing, when I was holding my breath and he would say breathe
31:27
Amanda. And I was just like and I'd
31:29
realized I was cat holding my breath and I'm like, who the
31:32
fuck is this guy? It's truly our relationship is
31:35
just spanking. But to this day, we will travel
31:37
to each other and have scenes, right?
31:39
And it was that sort of like we understand each other's body
31:42
language that helps. And it's the care and intention.
31:45
Like you say that to me and I'm like, oh, and because it's like
31:48
that someone, you know, is doing this intense thing and they're
31:52
able to, you know, compartmentalize and say, like,
31:54
oh, I'm also really concerned about her.
31:55
And I mean, maybe it's not even compartmentalizing.
31:57
It's the same thing. And that's like what makes it so
32:00
hot. I know, and it's not talked
32:02
about enough. It is reading that body
32:03
language. And once you're doing that, you
32:05
can kind of understand, am I being too hard?
32:08
And I actually think that's important once again, for things
32:11
like an interrogation, which is that's a risky scene to play
32:14
sometimes because essentially, here's how I view it and here's
32:18
why I love it. You're playing to a safe word in
32:20
a way. You're playing up until the
32:22
point, and there are very few times where I even want to play
32:26
to a safe word. But in an interrogation scene,
32:28
that's the aim. It's like I'm going to
32:30
essentially I torture you until you give me what I want.
32:33
So instead of safe wording, I'm giving the code to the box.
32:37
In this example, it sort of allows me a freedom to just play
32:40
hard and not have to. It's like, OK, I can get out of
32:43
this at any time. I don't have to worry about
32:45
anything. I'm going to take what I can
32:46
take. I'm going to have fun with it.
32:47
And then when I'm ready to give up, I'll just give the the code.
32:51
And it was so good. I like something else that I
32:53
don't think I see a lot of. And I haven't tried a lot of
32:55
these things, but you included nipple clamps and I think nipple
32:59
clams for anyone who's I love them, but for anyone who's not
33:02
familiar, the intensity goes up. Actually taking them off can be
33:06
more painful than having them on.
33:08
So depending on how hard they're being pulled on.
33:11
But including those, I didn't feel like I was doing a beginner
33:14
box, even though there were beginner elements to how it was
33:16
set up. I was like, wow, this is
33:18
trusting me. So that you trust your
33:21
purchasers a lot. We're coming from, it's a little
33:24
bit different than where I think a lot of Kank education or
33:27
things are coming from, which is kind of kind of this idea of
33:29
like, you know, you're with a total stranger, like Saturday
33:31
box is probably not great for total strangers unless you're
33:34
just like really trusting and you're like, I believe in this
33:37
person like 100%. But you know what, that's your
33:38
prerogative. But I think we know what we're
33:40
really designed for are couples who have relationship chemistry
33:45
who have sex, right? So like, of course we're going
33:47
to talk about safe words and consent, but if it's someone who
33:51
you are already have this act relationship, you have a
33:53
language. So then we're really just that
33:55
add on of like, here's what you definitely want to have in your
33:58
tool when you're bringing it to the next level.
34:00
And so I think that that's where we want to be available to
34:03
beginners. We're not like for beginners to
34:05
sex or beginners to relationships.
34:07
We're for people who are, you know, experts with
34:09
relationships, experts with sex. Hopefully, you know, try and
34:12
this is just a new frontier. And so I think that enables us
34:15
to like trust people a little more.
34:17
We're always trusting that you care about this person and that
34:19
you want to do right by them. And I think no matter what we
34:22
have written on the card, if that's true, like I do feel that
34:25
kid can be a very safe and rewarding experience.
34:27
And if that's not true, then there's nothing that we can
34:30
write to, you know, help that case, right?
34:32
You're 100% right. I like this Saturday box because
34:36
it did give me that trust. It was sort of like I felt like
34:38
I wasn't being babied into it. It was sort of like you're
34:41
kinky. We see you try this.
34:44
That was my marching orders. And within it, oh God, the scene
34:47
was so hot. Emma, can I tell you about it?
34:49
Because I'm. Dead.
34:50
Yes. Please tell me, I'd love to
34:52
know. OK, so I did it with my friends
34:54
with benefits and we've been seeing each other for like 3-4
34:57
months actually very understanding of each other.
35:00
So we have experience, right? I went into this being like
35:02
listen, I'm really just looking for friends with benefits and
35:04
I'm probably this isn't going to last very long.
35:07
He took the opportunity with the Saturday box and I mean hats off
35:10
to him. I'm pretty impressed he did
35:12
this. So he had me tied up, nibble
35:14
clamps on and he had took this opportunity to ask me why I
35:17
didn't want more with him. So he like interrogated me about
35:21
this and he reminded me multiple times at anytime we could stop
35:25
all I had to do was give him the code.
35:27
So it was like both forced to think like, OK, how honest do I
35:30
want to be with him and myself versus how soon do I just want
35:33
to get out of this and give the code.
35:35
And ultimately it was the nipple clamps that brought me down
35:38
like. Not, not the children's electric
35:42
shock time. Because I could handle the fear.
35:45
I can even handle a lot of pain. What else?
35:47
Oh, he, he brought ice up from dinner and I immediately knew
35:51
when he got a cup of ice, I was like, that ice is going to be
35:54
painful. And he made sure it was in many
35:56
places. But yeah, the nipple clamps are
35:59
what did me. And so I was like, damn, these
36:00
nipple clamps being included. But did love the bondage tape
36:04
being yes, bondage tape is something I recommend to a lot
36:07
of people because it's so easy to use that it's kind of idiot
36:11
proof. It's also really versatile.
36:12
You can do like gags, like where it goes around the mouth and you
36:15
just tightened basically for anyone who does not know what
36:17
bondage shape is, right, it sticks to itself.
36:19
So there's nothing sticky. So it's great because you don't
36:21
have that like Band-Aid ripping off, it sticks to itself.
36:24
So you kind of are using just like static cling essentially to
36:28
get it together so you can wrap it around your mouth a bunch of
36:30
times, which you might not want to do something like duct tape.
36:32
So you can use it for a lot of different things.
36:34
It's so easy to use. And I really love that you were
36:37
riffing on things. You think that's amazing.
36:39
And I love that you were able to bring in an element of your
36:42
relationship. We talk a lot about like scenes
36:44
and I talk about like start and stop.
36:46
And something that we really want to kind of, you know,
36:48
incorporate with Saturday Box is 1 people being able to like put
36:50
their own wrists on it like you did.
36:52
But also, you know, figuring out how this is going to be able to
36:55
kind of add a little bit of spice to just your relationship
36:59
and like a thing that you can reference or thing that you can
37:01
kind of get excited for. Because I think that's another
37:03
joy once you're we know whether you identify as being someone
37:06
who's a kingster or like is into king, just that like sense of
37:09
like playful banter, having that in the relationship, you know,
37:12
when you have these big banner moments and then you can kind of
37:15
just poke and tease and, you know, brat around.
37:18
I need that equally. So giving you a little bit of
37:20
something to talk about I think is really great.
37:22
So yeah, bringing in that friends with benefits was an
37:24
absolute ace move. Prior to even knowing Saturday
37:27
Box existed, we had been discussing an interrogation
37:30
scene around a question of whether or not I'd applied for
37:33
my passport. And unbeknownst to him, I had my
37:35
passport and that's what was waiting in the box.
37:37
Because it was like, yes, I applied, I have a passport.
37:39
It was just a really good way to up the ante.
37:41
And also he had never done an interrogation scene before so it
37:45
helped him, whereas I have been both interrogated and on the
37:48
interrogating side many times. It was good to have the support
37:52
system of Saturday Box. And he looked hot as fuck in the
37:55
suspenders. Like when I was like damn that's
37:58
such a good move to include those two.
38:00
I feel I looked good in my outfit too.
38:02
When we think about what we want Saturday to Box to be, a lot of
38:05
it is based off of like my good experiences and my bad
38:08
experiences, and my bad experiences have not been like
38:11
kinky situations where I've been pushed too far in general.
38:13
I would actually say it's or for people who did not necessarily
38:17
express an interesting king or were thought conflate that with
38:20
sort of like rough sex and just the norms around it not being,
38:24
you know, what we want. So I think in some ways like
38:26
that's what we were doing more for safety.
38:28
Then even like the safety card is kind of painting this picture
38:32
of like this is what the ideal case looks like and kind of
38:35
giving you that menu and buffet of options of things to choose
38:38
from so that you're not just pulling things completely out of
38:42
left field, you know? And so it's like, OK, well,
38:44
obviously ice is like right next door, you know, like you kind of
38:48
know it gives you something to kind of slot stuff into because.
38:51
We were in a hotel room too. These are great for hotel rooms
38:54
because you're already. Having.
38:55
Your element. The night before when we were
38:57
packing, I took everything out-of-the-box and like it was
38:59
just easy to bring like a few things and then pack the cards.
39:02
So just really great. It is an adventure, and what
39:05
better time to go on an adventure than went on vacation?
39:07
No, I definitely feel that. Sometimes I'm like the horniest
39:09
when we're on a trip and we're just somewhere else.
39:11
Yeah, because you're not. Laundry.
39:13
You're not worried about your schedule, you're just able to
39:16
relax. And I think there is, again,
39:18
that's part of like the painting, the mood where there
39:20
is something like, oh, you're really trying to get into it.
39:23
And then you're like looking at that like chip in the paint,
39:25
you're like, oh, I got to get that fixed.
39:27
So I think that's something that can also help people.
39:29
I mean, my view again is that I would say that most people are
39:33
kinky. This is like my belief is that
39:35
most people are kinky and some people are prevented from
39:39
realizing this kink. And I think from that mindset,
39:42
which is a very different mindset than I need to find and
39:45
can only be with the small portion of people that were
39:48
willing to do this weird stuff with me, right?
39:50
That kind of opens you up to saying, no, I'm normal.
39:53
The people who are not doing this kink, they, I mean, maybe
39:57
it's just that they're they're very calm and comfortable.
39:59
So, you know, good, good on them.
40:00
You know, if you had that mindset, then I think that you
40:03
can kind of ask for more in your relationships and not be as
40:06
afraid. It's, you know, it's more like,
40:07
oh, we're just kind of getting in touch with that natural human
40:10
side of us. That's kinky.
40:11
Kink is such a wide spectrum that I think people forget that.
40:14
Just saying like a few weeks ago on the podcast I had life with
40:17
Dillian we talked about how just saying good girl is actually
40:20
kinky. So yes I would agree with you.
40:21
I think most people are kinky are play with kink in their
40:24
relationship. OK, Speaking of most people
40:26
being kinky, I am a switch. I recognize from how the box is.
40:32
I could easily be the interrogator right?
40:34
The outfits would be different though and the rules would be
40:37
different. So do you plan on making a box
40:40
with a switch? Have you had female doms reach
40:42
out saying that they wanted a box?
40:44
A lot of my clients are women who want to be more dominant and
40:46
they come to learn from me. Yeah, I mean, we do have
40:48
occasionally people who say, oh, hey, you know, we I like to play
40:52
the other way is Saturday boxing to be good for me?
40:54
So we put together this little guide called Switching It Up
40:56
that's available on our website. It's like in our how to Play
40:59
side. So this is kind of like, hey,
41:01
here's like boxes that are a little better for that.
41:03
Here are elements that we play with.
41:05
One of them is we have the different variations and we do
41:08
include a little blurb on the main card of like kind of an
41:10
alternate back story if you want to gender swap things.
41:13
And then for our sensual experience, which we basically
41:15
have, the boxes usually kind of have two experiences.
41:17
We have the main one and then we have a sensual starter that's a
41:20
little bit, we'll say calmer. It's a little bit of a different
41:23
activity that's kind of warming you up to things in general.
41:26
So we try to do a little bit, turn down the role play, turn
41:28
down the kink, turn up the romance and the sensuality.
41:32
And that's something we do to not just please people who want
41:35
something a little more neutral where they can swap roles, but
41:37
we also do it as kind of like a warm up or for people where, you
41:40
know, maybe maybe that's the one that people really like because
41:42
they're just like, I love touching.
41:44
I like love the focus and presence of mind.
41:46
So we kind of have that as far as like making our own specific
41:50
roles, you know, fully flipped boxes.
41:52
Like, as you can see, you know, we really are have such a deep
41:57
well of knowledge that's based in personal experience.
41:59
And I I unfortunately am not a switch at all.
42:01
So I think that we would probably have to be at the kind
42:05
of size where we could justify like experimental going the
42:08
other box way and we'd have to hire someone.
42:11
Because I feel like, you know, one of the reasons that we're
42:13
not gender neutral is because there is a lot to playoff of
42:17
with gender dynamics when it comes to power dynamics.
42:20
There are a lot of ways that women have historically been
42:22
cast in roles, both in fantasy and history and in different
42:25
situations that I think there is a sense of, you know, them being
42:28
able to use their sexuality kind of to manipulate the outcome.
42:31
And so that's a lot of what we're playing with with Saturday
42:33
walks. And so if we were to switch
42:35
that, it would just be looking at a completely different set,
42:37
and we would want to apply as much care and attention to it.
42:40
And I don't feel like I could do it.
42:42
You know, I don't really know enough about that side of the
42:45
tree to be able to say I represent, you know, this
42:48
experience for all those kingsters.
42:50
Thank you for answering that. I love knowing that the switch
42:52
part exists on the website. But also I understand in my
42:55
experience, the majority breakdown is there are a lot of
42:59
of male Doms and female submissives and that is a lot of
43:02
the dynamics that I see. So I understand like that is a
43:04
majority too out there or at least it feels like it.
43:07
I'm not saying that's all that there is out there, but like you
43:09
were Saturday boxes catering to a specific group of people as
43:13
businesses do, you have chosen your market and that is who it
43:16
is. We're a very niche small
43:17
business and you know, it comes down to like, I truly believe
43:21
that we can be as dedicated and as niche and be pretty big
43:25
because I believe that most people are kinky and I believe
43:27
that there's a huge contingent of people that are M Dom F sub
43:31
that would do this, but that's not been proven and it's going
43:33
to be proven hopefully by our continued business success,
43:36
right? And so I think that in some ways
43:39
we're already taking a big swing and being as specific and non
43:43
mass market as we are. So I think that, you know, we
43:46
really want to be able to say, well, how big is this niche?
43:49
And then I also would assume that is, that may be a sizeable
43:52
chunk, but it's probably a smaller 1.
43:54
So you can only know what the size of the smaller circle is
43:57
once you know the size of the larger circle.
43:58
And we have no idea what the size of the larger circle is
44:01
right now, you know? If you want to have as much fun
44:03
as I had during my interrogation scene, I highly recommend you
44:07
check out Saturday box.com and use code TKC at checkout for 10%
44:12
off. Code expires May 30th.
44:14
I feel that as a kink creator on social media it's sort of like
44:17
I'm not giving general sex advice.
44:19
The fact that even use the word kink is quite alienating.
44:22
I love that your kink and role play adventure role play itself
44:26
is at least a word that people are more familiar with and can
44:28
identify with. Whereas when you say kink, it's
44:31
almost like people put up like a that's not me, that's not me.
44:33
Do you know what I mean? Because yeah, kink in the media
44:36
has been portrayed by a lot of alternative types.
44:40
And there's nothing wrong with that.
44:41
Like some of my best friends are the exact epitome of like the
44:45
kinky alternative type. But then it makes it hard for
44:47
other people to identify. I think that's one of the things
44:50
that I've noticed, not the kink community.
44:51
Actually the general community who were describing are probably
44:54
kinky or enjoy some kink. What they're imagining is, oh,
44:57
I'm not kinky because I don't like whips and chains.
44:59
And it's like there's so much more to it.
45:01
And this is something that has been said, like we were watching
45:03
Bones. There was some line in it that
45:05
was talking about it was like an SNM episode.
45:07
And there was some line about like I don't need to hurt people
45:10
to have good sex. And it was so smug.
45:12
There was like really a time that was like very anti kink,
45:15
but kink had entered the chat and I would say probably like
45:18
2000s to maybe like early 2010. And I think that's been
45:21
changing, you know, so I think that's part of why I feel really
45:24
good about this business. But there was this time where
45:26
people started to have this awareness, but like the sense
45:28
that like you had to do it because you couldn't get what
45:30
you needed out of regular sex. Like boohoo, right?
45:33
Like I think some of it's on the kink community for developing
45:37
their identity in such a way that can be very unwelcoming.
45:40
Like even the like BDSM thing, which is the worst
45:43
initialization ever because none of the things even mean one set
45:46
thing. Why would you come up with
45:48
something that doesn't even stand for the correct?
45:49
But yeah, then the term is like, used to be BDSM practitioners.
45:53
All studies would say BDSM practitioners, which sounds like
45:55
a terrible kind of weird quack. Dr. So, you know, now we've
45:58
evolved to kink, but even some people with kink feel nervous.
46:02
With role play, it's more conventionally acceptable.
46:04
You know, Modern Family had role play scenes in it, and they were
46:07
not denigrating. They were humorous, but it was
46:09
like, you know, you're in on the joke.
46:10
However, there are people like, I had a friend, you know, a
46:13
previous friend with benefits. We did a bunch of kinky stuff
46:16
together and he, you know, knows I have companies very supportive
46:18
of it. And he's just like, oh, but I
46:20
would never do one of those boxes because I don't role play.
46:23
And I was like, OK, well, would you do costumes?
46:26
And he's like, yes. And I'm like, well, you
46:27
obviously do all the king stuff. And he's like, yes.
46:29
And so for some reason that drew a line in the sand for him
46:33
because I guess he just felt like it was too silly.
46:36
But The thing is, we were doing role play because when I was
46:39
doing like, yes, Master, like letting him crop me, I am
46:44
plaguing because I don't have to let him because he has no power
46:47
over me. So, you know, a lot of it is
46:49
that mindset and the labels that we put on it.
46:52
But at the same time, I would say from a brand perspective,
46:56
there are brands that are like, as you mentioned, alternative,
46:59
unapologetically kinky, you know, leather hoods like red and
47:02
black and like that exists and that, you know, is very like
47:05
unapologetic, but it also can be a little unwelcoming.
47:08
And then you kind of have this other entrant into the market
47:11
where you have like the Gen. ZE pastel type brands that are
47:15
like, it's just women, you know, it's just completely about
47:17
empowerment and like getting in touch with yourself.
47:20
And like, I like the mission of a lot of those brands, but
47:22
there's something very like sanitized and corporate about
47:25
them. And like, for example, like
47:27
there's like, OMG, yes, or something.
47:29
There are all these things that are like ethical, like porn for
47:31
women. And it's always like, I don't
47:33
want to see violence against women and like, I don't want to
47:36
see violence against women either.
47:38
But what they kind of mean, say they're kind of talking out of
47:40
the side of their mouth and being like the only kind of like
47:44
BDSM or kink we want to see would be the like most gentle
47:47
form of like we're mutually tying each other up.
47:50
And that's not going to do it for me, you know.
47:52
So I think really being able to try to create a brand where we
47:57
are informed by, you know, wanting people to feel good and
48:00
wanting to strengthen relationships, But we're not
48:02
trying away from actual kink, from actual degradation, from
48:05
like dehumanization, you know, like, I think people like good
48:08
girl and then they don't like the flip side a lot of the time.
48:11
I think that that like good girl is OK in popular culture, right?
48:14
Because it's like affirming and positive people are like, I want
48:17
you to call me my, my number and like, maybe let's like not do
48:20
it, but let's think about what would it be like if you shaved
48:22
my head? You know, like I want to say
48:24
that, you know, the people like our customers, like we're never
48:26
going to have head shaving in a box.
48:27
OK, that's, but that's something like in my personal life that I
48:31
am struggling with about if that's something I would ever
48:33
want to happen to me, right? I'm saying like, Hey, you know
48:36
what? You can be someone who looks
48:39
like a good girl and you could be down bad.
48:42
And here we want to have a brand that will support you in both of
48:44
those ways. I love that.
48:47
What more needs to be said? That's who you are in your I
48:50
love it. And I think that it really comes
48:52
through as a BDSM practitioner. That is what I got from it.
48:55
Sort of like radical acceptance of no matter where I was or who
48:58
I was, I was going to have fun doing that.
49:00
And I did. And I hope you many more.
49:02
So when's that new box coming out?
49:03
The new box, I think is going to come out in May.
49:06
I feel really, really excited about this next one.
49:08
I honestly will say that I feel like every box is like a little
49:12
better than the last in a way. But like, I still love the
49:15
prison one. The person.
49:16
Yeah, my favorite. I want to try the first one
49:18
because I said I had those fantasies, but the fairy one,
49:21
because it's so different from any fantasy I've ever had.
49:24
I think I want to try it for that novel experience.
49:26
So now I want the yes of like a total newbie going yes like
49:30
this. You know what I mean?
49:31
Yeah, well, one thing we did love when we were working more
49:33
tightly with customers is really being able to see that kind of
49:37
like everyone's a bunch of different things.
49:39
But a little bit of that dichotomy that we kind of always
49:41
expected where like maybe people who like interrogation in prison
49:44
are on one side of the fence and maybe people who like, you know,
49:47
fairy and office romance are on the other side of the fence.
49:51
I think that's the other thing. Part of why we're we try to be
49:53
so niche is because within this niche there are so many sub
49:56
niches. You know, if we zoomed out, we
49:58
would lose all of that, right? It would just be like the boxer,
50:01
the kinky person, the same shit we've seen before.
50:03
I think that is something that's really cool for me with the
50:05
prison, just to put this so people know why I like it.
50:09
The prison thing is like one. It's very interesting.
50:11
Like, that is not only case, not to say this is a great thing in
50:15
real life, but it's one of the only cases in modern life where
50:18
you can, like, take control of someone and put them in some
50:21
weird system and push them around and restrain them.
50:24
That's the case where handcuffs are being used.
50:26
Yeah. So I think for me, there's
50:28
something about that and like the way that the prison outfit
50:31
is like not sexy is sexy to me because it's this idea of like
50:36
the worst thing could happen to you where you're like shamed by
50:39
society, you're cast off and like still you're kind of hot.
50:43
Like to me, it's like, it's like the gauntlet.
50:45
It's you know, it's like the highs and the lows.
50:47
And I think a lot of kink is actually about that, right?
50:50
It's about like the highs and the lows where you're pushed to
50:52
some extreme and you kind of still come through.
50:55
That's how I feel at least about like, yes, spanking where like
50:58
it's that like, or sometimes it can be pleasant, but mostly, or
51:01
at least for thinking is usually pleasant.
51:03
Like cropping is like me and my nemesis.
51:05
And it's the kind of thing where I don't really like it, but I do
51:08
like it. And part of what I like about it
51:10
is almost what I call the Gom jabbar, you know, from Dune
51:14
where you put your hands in the thing.
51:16
Yes. So like if you put your hand in
51:17
the box and the like, scary nun says it's going to hurt like a
51:21
bitch. And if you take your hand
51:22
out-of-the-box, you're going to die because an animal would take
51:25
their hand out-of-the-box, but a human or like a wise man would
51:28
be able to withstand the pain. And so I have a conception of
51:31
life that's sort of like that a little bit and definitely
51:34
applies specifically to me getting cropped.
51:37
And I think there's like a sense of like, I hate this, but
51:40
obviously I can stop at any time I want to, right?
51:42
I can endure it and I can accept that.
51:45
Like, I didn't drink enough water today, so I'm getting
51:47
cropped. And that's the situation.
51:48
And like, I just, I think that sense of like being driven to a
51:52
limit and then being able to like surprise yourself and to
51:55
overcome or to show like how strong you are to have this
51:58
intense experience, someone who you're so close with.
52:00
Like I think that there's, there's a lot with that.
52:02
It has been such a pleasure to have you on.
52:05
Thank you for bringing Saturday Box to the world.
52:07
That is what I want to thank you for because it's really exciting
52:10
to have something like this and to know that even I who self
52:14
prescribed very kinky person box full of toys.
52:17
It's for all ranges of kingsters.
52:19
You include everything that needs to be there and then some
52:22
super special and I felt very sexy and that's like something
52:26
that's hard to do too, I think to make people feel sexy, even
52:28
maybe in a prison outfit. So thank you so much for coming
52:31
on and for anyone who wants to check out Saturday box and I
52:34
highly recommend you do go to saturdaybox.com.
52:36
You can also follow them on Instagram as at Saturday under
52:40
score box. Check out all the different
52:42
boxes. I might have to put a guarantee
52:44
on it that you're going to have a good time because that's how
52:45
confident and I am that people will.
52:47
Emma, thank you so much and I am excited for all the future
52:51
things that Saturday Box has to bring.
52:55
If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave
52:57
a review, and share it with anyone who might find it
53:00
interesting. And if you have any questions or
53:02
topics you'd like me to cover in future episodes, feel free to
53:04
reach out e-mail info@thekingconsultant.com.
53:08
Until next time, keep on kinking on.