Latest / Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild / You Did More Than You Think This Year

Transcript

You Did More Than You Think This Year · Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome, welcome, welcome.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Tina, your transformational coach and emotional strategist.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm here to tell you that this is the end of the podcasting for this year of 2025.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I am so proud of you guys for making it through and listening to me.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: I started it in October, scared to death to push the button.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for all your input.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for all your comments.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I appreciate every single one of you and all your downloads.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And most of all, I hope I have been a service to you.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, with that in with that in mind, 2025, a lot of times I would be ready to be like, okay, 2026 will be better.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: 2027 will be better, like each year at the end of the year.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I was thinking, like, at first, it was like, I didn't do anything this year.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I was basing that on money and a job.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, okay, well, I still haven't found a job.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: I've been searching, as some of you know, and I still haven't found my new career, and maybe even my stepping stone in between.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm like, okay, I was like, I didn't accomplish anything.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I was so sad and so upset.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay, 2026, clean slate.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, I don't want to clean slate in 2026.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then I started looking at my pictures and my phone.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I started thinking about like, what did I accomplish this year?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And after coming up with a list of 10 or 11 of them, I realized that 2025 was not a waste.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: That I had done a lot of work, inner work, outer work.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm now glad to say I'm very proud of myself.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you guys to be proud of yourselves.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Think about what you've done this year.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: You may think of all your shortcomings, but what about the times that you stuck through when you thought, oh my God, I'm never going to get over this?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm I'm not going to get over this relationship.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Case in point a year later, and I'm in such a much better place.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, sometimes still painful, but I am not where I was.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what it's about.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just wanted to touch base with some of you and just like think about 2025.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now start writing down some of the things that you did.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you went through a breakup or a job change, or maybe you went through a difficult time, or maybe something blindsided you that you weren't expecting, and you thought, I'm never going to get past this.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then you did.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Little by little, the steps that you made, the courage that you had, the steps that you took, you know, based on what you needed to do.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I know sometimes it's not easy, and don't be shameful.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to tell people what not to be.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: So let me rephrase that.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you don't feel shame during those times when you couldn't do anything.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like we have to have grace for ourselves.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that's something that I learned that I needed to have self-compassion.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Something I don't think I've ever even considered for myself, everybody else but myself.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's okay.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: You do your best.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: You tried your best.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you didn't try, sometimes you couldn't try.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: But based on what you did, you have changed your life during 2025.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it kind of chokes me up because after I went through everything that I did, I am proud of myself.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to go off and list about 10, 11 of them.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I did write them down.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: I left the toxic relationship, the pattern.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: I left, you know, I'll never forget that day.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was walking away and I could hear myself.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: It was so painful.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's probably one of the most painful things I've been through at the time, you know.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I just thought, what am I doing?
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: But my feet kept going forward and I pushed forward.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And a year later, I'm very happy that I did.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: I chose myself.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the other things that I did, I finished my life coaching certificate, even despite the fact of going through a breakup.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and I took a look inside myself, deep inside myself.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I have not gone with anybody else.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: I have not dated anybody.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that was because I don't want to bring an unhealthy version of myself to the next relationship, especially that I don't want the same type of relationship that I had in the past.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I've done a lot of shadow work.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Am I done?
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Is it easy?
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: No, but it does get easier.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it can just be sometimes you don't want to be aware, and that can be very confusing.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: But you're once you start being aware, you're aware.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then, so what else did I do?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, let me see.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: I spent time with my family in Wisconsin.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's a big thing because I live in Las Vegas, but my sister is there, and I love my sister and all my family in Wisconsin and trying to have the best of both worlds because I don't want to live in Wisconsin.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's just too cold for me.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so, and my my three children are in Las Vegas.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I went to La I went to Wisconsin three or four times this summer, and it was wonderful.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was so great.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Looking back at my pictures, I have all these good times that I am so thankful to have had shared.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: What else did oh, you know, something that was another difficult time, or sometimes this is just difficult in general for me.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have a hard time getting out of bed.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that can be depression, that could just be, I don't know, it could be different things.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: You can talk to your doctor about that.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a therapist, I'm just going based on my own lived experiences.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just couldn't get a butt out of bed just to even shower.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I wasn't sick, you know, like illness, or I don't want to say the wrong word, but I wasn't like, you know, I didn't have a flu.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have that.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: My mind just wouldn't let me out of bed.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: I was like paralyzed to do no action.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so I got out of bed.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm counting that as a win.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's a small win, but it's not.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's huge because based on the fact of all the times that I got out of bed when it was too hard to get out of bed and just took it bit by bit by bit, like just okay, I'm gonna take a shower, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, I'm gonna eat, like just taking a few steps at a time when I didn't want to.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Those led to huge things.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Huge, like small things are not small, they are large.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: One thing that I learned to do was be kinder, and I told you, like self-compassionate to myself, kinder to myself, always kind to everybody else, and so hard on myself.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: I learned to talk to myself different.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: My limiting beliefs, I don't really talk like that to myself anymore.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now, am I always strong?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: No, because a friend pointed out that you don't always have to be strong.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that was something I had to learn because I'm always in that mind space.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta be strong, you gotta be tough.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: No, you know, I need to be authentic, I need to be real.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes I'm gonna be soft.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then it was like even pretending like I don't want a relationship ever, like I'm never ever gonna be with somebody again.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And now that some healing has gone by, that's not true.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be in a relationship, I just want to be in a healthy relationship, and that's the difference, and that's definitely what's going to be different.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to bring the unhealthy version.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I'm still not gonna be perfect by all means, but I've definitely progressed and I'm still working on certain things like passive aggressiveness.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I do notice I can have a wicked tongue.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm still working on that wicked tongue.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then I learned to be proud of myself, something that I never was before because I would always be like, Well, you didn't do this or you didn't do that.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: I look for the ways that I was lacking.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not lacking, I'm doing as much as I can when I can.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: I have made a whole year into my own growth.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then like I left a toxic job.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now that was really hard because like my dignity of not having my job anymore, but the pain of staying there just it wasn't aligning up.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it's even hard right now because I still haven't found what my career is going to be.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I definitely have what I want to do, and so I've had some clarity that way, but I actually had to like leave my employment.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm not saying that you should.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's not always best for others.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: It maybe wasn't the best decision for me, but long term it is, but short term it wasn't the best.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I would have had something else, but I knew to listen to my body, like I was literally at work in the bathroom crying and trying to push myself to go back into work and on brakes and at work and in my car.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if that's something that happens to you, you have to look at that.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's toxic, that is just not healthy.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was another thing that I had done in 2025.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: I filed bankruptcy, so financial forgiveness.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: And the most, the most, the biggest thing that I think I've done is the podcast.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I only say that because I have been honest, I have been vulnerable, I have shared stories that are hard to share.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: And also with the thought of I'm going to help somebody else, not to drag anybody through the mud.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to drag people through the mud.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to help other people.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember, you know, when I was going through a lot of pain, I looked at videos, TikTok videos.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: There were so many creators that helped me, so many things that had helped me to get out.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to be that kind of source for somebody else.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how this is going to work into like a career.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't figured out where that all fits yet.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: I do have the certificate for the life coach, and I do want to do that full-time.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: And in the meantime, even working with domestic abuse or crisis center or elderly and protective services, or I don't even know yet.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like my opportunities are endless and possibilities are endless.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: So 2025, those are definitely the things that I actually went through.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not gonna erase them, they're building blocks.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna build off of them, not like, oh, 2026.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Let's see what 2026 will bring.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't want to forget about 2025.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to start over because I was gonna like do a podcast like starting over with a clean slate.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, that doesn't quite work.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to erase all the work I've done.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to start from scratch because I'm not starting from scratch.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm starting from where I'm at.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: So just because the year changed to 2026 or is changing to 2026 doesn't mean the things in my life have to change.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: I need to continue to build on the building blocks.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Now have I my mistakes?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Are they my mistakes to make?
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then what I wanted to do, like, of course, the mistakes.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: People, you know, you can't listen to other people.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: It is your life, it's your story.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Only you truly know what is going on inside.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so you have to base that on that.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: And don't quote me.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, get psychiatrist, get a counselor, get a life coach, get, you know, whoever you need to help you through that.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a professional, I'm just going off of what I did, and I don't have my bachelor's degree in social work yet.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: However, I will be starting my algebra.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: It might take me four years to get this done, but I am not giving up yet.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: I had just decided that when I wrote down like what I was gonna do in 2026.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I'm asking you to do right now think back over the year.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: What was the hardest thing that you survived that you didn't think you'd be able to survive?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Think about the moment that you just had such a difficult time and you thought my life's never gonna get better, it's never gonna change.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And what did you do?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: What was it?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Just write it down for yourself.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: What did you learn in 2025?
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'll share with you five things that I learned as we're going out into 2026.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because that 2026 is gonna be continued healing and meaning meaningful career.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna do it continue to do my podcast and try different things and start on my algebra.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: And the biggest goal and challenge I have for 2026 is to live on my own for the first time ever.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 53, I'll be 54 in February.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, would it be easy to move in with or stay with my mom and my son and my other son?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Would it be easier financially?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, but emotionally and just for myself, I need to experience life on my own.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: I have to be stable.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like I want to be stable, I want to do this on my own.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: Am I scared?
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I'm so terrified.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm more excited than anything.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait just to have my own little space to do what I need to do and get things in order.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: It is time.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very grateful for my family for how they've helped me this past year.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: I know it wasn't easy, and I think that without them I wouldn't be where I am today.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I am very, very grateful.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so moving on, you know, that's what I want to do is just be on my own and live on my own.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: So let me just read what else.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, and I'm just like 2025 wasn't about money because to me, I was judging it on money.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, how much money?
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know it helps, and I'm gonna be working on that now, now that I have used that year to heal from the painful pattern of going out with toxic people, like no more toxic relationships in my life, and there's still work to do on that.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the biggest things that I did that really, really helped, I don't need to respond to anything somebody says to me.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't need to respond right away.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I learned that you shouldn't respond right away, you need to like let it absorb and then give yourself some time and decide whether it you know requires or deserves a response to begin with.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that was one of the biggest lessons that I had this year, and so the five things that I really learned, and when I was writing this down, I'm not gonna lie, I became so emotional, I was crying, and I'm still gonna get choked up.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: But the tears were happy tears, they were good tears, and these are the five things I came up with.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: I am worthy.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: You are worthy, don't forget that you are capable, but do not underestimate what you can do.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Trust my intuition that is huge, and self-compassion is important, but the most biggest lesson that I had was to be vulnerable and be authentic and don't sugarcoat things.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm still working on that, but going into 26, I'm gonna build on all the things that I accomplished in 2025, and that's what I want you to remember that 2025, it was about healing and courage and growth.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: You can't measure the money.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: You just can't.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: Success isn't always measured by money.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: What about all the battles and hardships and things that you overcame this year?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Your wins count.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to list three of them.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Three of the three of your wins.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: It can be anything.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: It could be anything, even something small.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because I really believe this.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: I really had a huge epiphany about small things, they are oftentimes they're not small.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: They're small wins that lead to huge, huge changes.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's like that ripple effect.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I just want you guys to think about 2025 and go into 2026.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you don't have to set yourself all these straight hard goals, and I'm gonna do this by that, I'm gonna do that by that.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: But you can.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just telling you what happened for me.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is a little ADH off moment, but I had been trying to lose weight for, I don't know, over and over, and I've done that up and down.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: And here I lost it when I wasn't even trying.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that will be, oh my gosh, 2026.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: I will start out my first episode with the moment that just occurred to me, and I think it was about a week ago when I finally realized that I was ready to start dating.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: It was just a small thing that happened.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: And just like my podcast, I shared this for other people.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: I did not know my podcast was going to be something that healed myself.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and on that note, you know, I am happy and proud of everybody here, and I want you to be proud too, and I'm gonna clap for you, and hopefully it'll work because my last episode it didn't.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I will clap for you.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: I am so proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget all the wins of 2025, and there's more to come in 2026.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: This is Get It Got It Girl.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Tina Avis.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: I am here to transform you and help you with emotional intelligence.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I also want to thank you again for being a listener and follow, share, whatever you want to do, spread the word, and thank you so much for supporting my show and listening.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: Happy New Year! Happy 2026 coming around the corner.