Latest / hol+ with Dr. Taz MD | The Future of Medicine is Holistic / Your Kids Feel Your Stress: How to Break the Cycle with Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt
Transcript
- [00:00:00] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Finding a way to find my own calm and that it has [00:00:05] a ripple effect on being beneficial for my whole family, whether it's for my kids, for my [00:00:10] husband, for me as a very pregnant woman right now. Like, I think [00:00:15] that prioritizing my calm energy and my ability to [00:00:20] be in a place of as much calm as possible to co-regulate with my kids for whatever is thrown [00:00:25] at me throughout the day, if it's a temper tantrum, if it's a meltdown, if it's a- Right, right [00:00:29] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: you know, we're [00:00:30] running late for something, if it's something doesn't go the way that we want it to, I feel that I'm [00:00:35] much better equipped and prepared to flow with those things. Deal with that, yeah. Yeah, now. [00:00:39] Dr. Taz: [00:00:40] A part of my mission with this show, HolPlus, is to really stress the [00:00:45] importance of a healthy family unit, and how when one person in a family is [00:00:50] off, the entire family actually gets thrown off. [00:00:53] Dr. Taz: You can't have a whole family. [00:00:55] Well, Katherine Schwarzenegger and I have had many discussions around this concept [00:01:00] of whole families, and believe it or not, she's actually my next guest. [00:01:05] Please join me in welcoming Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt, a New York Times [00:01:10] bestselling author, an animal advocate, and a devoted wife and mother. [00:01:13] Dr. Taz: As an ambassador for Best [00:01:15] Friends Animal Society and the ASPCA, she passionately raises awareness for [00:01:20] animal rescue. She's also a global ambassador for Special Olympics and [00:01:25] empowering others through her writing. In 2021, she launched BDA Baby, a [00:01:30] popular Instagram Live series discussing pregnancy and wellness, now available [00:01:35] in YouTube and podcast. [00:01:36] Dr. Taz: Her second children's book, Good Night, Sister, released in [00:01:40] February 2023, explores the special bond between sisters. Katherine resides in [00:01:45] LA with her family, and [00:01:46] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: she is here today on HolPlus. Welcome, Katherine. [00:01:50] [00:01:50] Dr. Taz: Thank you so much for being on this show. I'm so excited to talk to you about [00:01:55] all these things. [00:01:56] Dr. Taz: Yeah. But let's just jump right into it. So Kathryn, I was [00:02:00] actually scrolling this weekend, and my eye caught, it's so ironic that we're doing this today, but [00:02:05] my eye caught, uh, a little clip of something that I've really, really believed in, and it was [00:02:10] talking about the fact that grandmothers influence their [00:02:15] granddaughters and grandsons so greatly to the point that their DNA is often [00:02:20] imprinted upon them and influencing them far into their adult years and beyond. [00:02:24] Dr. Taz: [00:02:25] And back in, I think, 2017, 2018, I actually did a TED Talk talking about the fact [00:02:30] that the maternal line of inheritance is so important. In fact, the mitochondrial [00:02:35] DNA transfers grandmother to, to mom, to grandchild [00:02:40] intact, often without being, you know, messed with very much. So the thoughts and [00:02:45] feelings and the emotions of our grandmothers and great-grandmothers we're often carrying with us. [00:02:49] Dr. Taz: And [00:02:50] ironically, we are talking today about- ... The Grandmother Project. So- Yeah ... [00:02:55] universe is something. So I wanna know more about why you [00:03:00] started this. What was your, you know, motivation or incentive, [00:03:05] uh, you know, to start this type of project, and sort of what's come of it as you've dug in? [00:03:10] [00:03:10] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Um, well, The Grandmother Project was something that we did in honor of Mother's Day, so [00:03:15] my mom and I did it, um, together, and it was [00:03:20] really- interesting and fun, and we basically just wanted to do [00:03:25] it to dive into all of the dynamics of [00:03:30] grandmotherhood and motherhood together. [00:03:32] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And, you know, my mom and [00:03:35] I are both in these new chapters of life where I'm a mom. Mm-hmm. [00:03:40] Um, I'm four years into being a mom, and she's four years into being a grandmother. And, [00:03:45] uh, and so we're both kind of in these new spaces that we're [00:03:50] navigating and, uh, and experiencing together. And [00:03:55] it's been such an amazing experience, and also learning from so many other people's dynamics of, [00:04:00] like, what to do and what not to do - Yeah, definitely [00:04:03] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: uh, within the [00:04:05] grandmother and mother dynamic, and also the in-laws, and just, like so [00:04:10] many different, uh, ways to, you know, experience motherhood [00:04:15] and grandmotherhood. And, um, so it was a really interesting experience to be able to [00:04:20] interview so many mothers and daughters, and also, um, [00:04:25] mothers with mother-in-laws, and just to talk about the varying [00:04:30] dynamics in, uh, families and in households and, of course, how that [00:04:35] impacts raising our children, and especially now how people are [00:04:40] leaning on their grandparents, their kids' grandparents, so much for childcare [00:04:45] because everything- Definitely [00:04:45] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: is so expensive and- [00:04:46] Dr. Taz: Yeah ... [00:04:47] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: um, so we, we had a great time doing it. My mom [00:04:50] and I are super close, so it was really fun for us to be able to do together, and also to just learn from so many [00:04:55] different dynamics and, uh- Yeah ... be able to, to walk away and talk [00:05:00] about that was really great. [00:05:01] Dr. Taz: Is there something that you guys came away from? [00:05:03] Dr. Taz: Like, we had [00:05:05] my, my husband's mom live with us, you know, once for about 10 years or so until her [00:05:10] death, and, um, it was really special the bond that she had with my children. That's not [00:05:15] something that I had. Like, my grandparents were in another country. I never really had that sort of [00:05:20] bond or relationship with them. [00:05:21] Dr. Taz: But, you know, is there something, I'm curious, that came out as a universal [00:05:25] truth? Like, you know, what, what is the role of the grandmother? You know, [00:05:30] where, where is that a value when we think of parenting in general? Which we're gonna talk about parenting in just a [00:05:35] minute, but, but that's the whole sticky situation in today's culture, you know, period, in [00:05:40] terms of navigating all, all the things that come with parenting. [00:05:42] Dr. Taz: What is the grandmother's modern-day [00:05:45] role? [00:05:46] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I mean, I think it changes really for every single family and every [00:05:50] dynamic because everybody has such a different and unique setup. Some people have their grandparents live with [00:05:55] them, uh, their kids' grandparents live with them. Other people, you know, have them in different countries. [00:05:59] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: [00:06:00] I grew up with my grandma coming to visit us quite a lot, but-- or [00:06:05] us going to visit her as well. But she lived across the country, so I didn't see her as [00:06:10] much. And the idea that both of my girls are growing up with their grandparents being five minutes [00:06:15] away from them and seeing them, you know, multiple times a week, being able [00:06:20] to have special days with them, being able to have dinners and lunches and, you [00:06:25] know, have them come to different activities with them is such a huge gift, and [00:06:30] it's not one that I take for granted at all because it's something that I I know [00:06:35] how lucky I am to be able to have that, and also just that support. [00:06:38] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: So if I'm, [00:06:40] you know, unable to pick up my daughters- Yeah ... from school- Such a relief ... my mom picks her up. [00:06:45] Yeah. Yeah, it's definitely an incredible blessing to be able to have the close [00:06:50] proximity to my mom and to my dad. Um, and just to be able to have [00:06:55] their involvement in my kids' lives is such a huge game changer. [00:06:57] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I think also, you know, [00:07:00] we talk a lot about just the time that kids spend [00:07:05] with their grandparents, and being able to learn from those experiences and the stories that they hear from their [00:07:10] grandparents is something that you can't get anywhere else. You can't get that- That's true ... in school. You can't [00:07:15] get that, you know, in any classes. [00:07:16] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: So that relationship and that [00:07:20] bond and those lessons and, um, and experiences that my kids have [00:07:25] had and will continue to be able to have with their grandparents is such a huge gift. So [00:07:30] I mean, I think that it, the, the kind of universal takeaway is really what a gift [00:07:35] that is, and also the, the fact that- Mm-hmm [00:07:37] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: this generation of- Love it ... parenting is [00:07:40] really going back to really leaning on [00:07:45] grandparents as caretakers and people to be heavily involved in their kids' lives. I [00:07:50] think there was, you know, a period of time where people didn't [00:07:55] necessarily do that. Right. And we're going back to that kind of how we were originally designed to live, people [00:08:00] living together in close proximity. [00:08:02] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Um, and, uh, that's how as, like, [00:08:05] human beings we're meant to live, and also to, uh, expand [00:08:10] families in that way. So it's, it's a huge gift to be able to do that. [00:08:14] Dr. Taz: I think that's so [00:08:15] true. I think that it's been a little bit, I wanna say, almost a failed experiment of the nuclear [00:08:20] isolated family. Mm-hmm. And there's been so much stress and disease and illness associated with trying to [00:08:25] sustain that. [00:08:25] Dr. Taz: You know, what, you know- Right ... as you talk to your friends and young women [00:08:30] who are starting families and things like that, I know what I see in the exam room, but, like, what is, what is their experience of [00:08:35] parenting like today? You know, do f- people feel like it is less stressful [00:08:40] maybe than what people went through a decade ago or two decades ago? [00:08:44] Dr. Taz: Or, [00:08:45] you know, are young parents today just really struggling in terms of trying to keep, uh, you know, keeping all the balls in the [00:08:50] air? [00:08:51] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I mean, I would say that I feel like our, [00:08:55] like my generation of parents seem to be much more anxious and stressed out, [00:09:00] and I think my, my mom and the other [00:09:05] grandparents that are around our kids say the same thing. [00:09:08] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, they are like, "You [00:09:10] guys are so, you know, like you have so much to worry about. You have so much [00:09:15] to think about." It's, you know, there are amazing things that come from [00:09:20] raising kids in this day and age, and there are also, uh, the other [00:09:25] side of it is being like ama- information overload and- Right ... um, [00:09:30] just too much to think about, too much to worry about, um, too much to be [00:09:35] aware of, which, you know, is comes with like a blessing and a curse with social media. [00:09:38] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: So- [00:09:39] Dr. Taz: Yeah ... [00:09:39] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I, [00:09:40] I think that, uh, if I had to like group in the overall [00:09:45] feeling of how people are feeling that are raising kids right now, I feel like [00:09:50] they feel like they're anxious, [00:09:55] and also, um, you know, like the nervous systems are [00:10:00] not necessarily in a great place. Um, and I really felt that honestly [00:10:05] this summer in myself. [00:10:07] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, I felt like I was at a point [00:10:10] where I, you know, over the summer was, whatever, seven months pregnant, [00:10:15] and I was like, I have, you know, a, I had a three and a half year old and [00:10:20] a two-year-old over the summer and, and pregnant. And so I felt like I was kind of [00:10:25] on this edge of, you know, being anxious all the time, and it [00:10:30] wasn't benefiting my nervous system or the nervous system that I was able to [00:10:35] have to co-regulate with my kids. [00:10:37] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And so I started, um, [00:10:40] implementing meditation into my routine every single morning, and I have [00:10:45] noticed such a dramatic difference in myself- Wow ... and also how [00:10:50] I interact with my kids and just, like, how I parent, um, [00:10:55] that I really-- It's been so incredible and life-changing for me to be able to [00:11:00] have more calm- [00:11:02] Dr. Taz: Mm-hmm [00:11:02] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: in my life. And, [00:11:05] um, I've noticed it just impact my parenting and my relationships with [00:11:10] everyone, and especially my relationships with my kids, um, and just, like, [00:11:15] the ability that I have to kind of, like, flow- Yeah ... much easier. [00:11:20] So that's been something that's really helpful for me. But I think prior to that, [00:11:25] the kind of on edge or, um- Yeah [00:11:28] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: nervous system being [00:11:30] frantic was definitely something I, I felt. [00:11:33] Dr. Taz: Well, that frantic nervous system, [00:11:35] you know, one of the things they talk about in Chinese medicine is that the health of the mom and the child go together. They're [00:11:40] linked up. You can't separate the two. And what we're seeing in research now is that children's [00:11:45] mental health and their stress is impacted by stress in the family, and then the stress that the [00:11:50] mother perceives. [00:11:50] Dr. Taz: It's such an important piece of the puzzle. So, you know, finding [00:11:55] opportunities to tone your cortisol levels down or calm your nervous system [00:12:00] down is so important in this whole game of parenting. You talked about meditation. [00:12:05] You know, what are three ways you think that- young moms, new moms, [00:12:10] you know, no matter what age or stage they're entering parenting, and I remember those early years. [00:12:14] Dr. Taz: They're super [00:12:15] stressful. You're adjusting to being a new mom. You're running between a career. Mine were 15 months [00:12:20] apart, and I started the practice at the same time. You know, it was complete chaos, you know? [00:12:24] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Yeah. [00:12:24] Dr. Taz: [00:12:25] So, you know, as I look back, I'm like, "Why?" You know, "Why did [00:12:30] we sign up for all of that at one time?" [00:12:31] Dr. Taz: You know, so there was a little bit of like maybe we should have been a little bit more [00:12:35] methodical about it, spaced things out a little bit better, but things happen as they happen. You [00:12:40] know, what would you tell a mom listening today who's feeling that, who's just feeling [00:12:45] like there's too much on their plate, they can't catch a breath, they don't have time to feed themselves, you know, they, they, they're [00:12:50] not sleeping? [00:12:51] Dr. Taz: You know, where should they start in this game of parenting to [00:12:55] really start to center and bring that sense of calm to the family? [00:12:59] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I mean, I'm definitely not an [00:13:00] expert in that. I, I would say that, um, what's worked for me is [00:13:05] finding a way to find my own calm and [00:13:10] that it has a ripple effect on being beneficial for my whole family, [00:13:15] whether it's for my kids, for my husband, for, um, me as a very [00:13:20] pregnant woman right now. [00:13:21] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Right. Like, I, um, I think that [00:13:25] making that a priority for me and having that be a priority in my [00:13:30] daily practice is, has been hugely [00:13:35] beneficial for me. I learned a lot about the importance of [00:13:40] Being calm and regulating our nervous system [00:13:45] because our kids co-regulate from us- With us ... and with us. [00:13:48] Dr. Taz: Yeah. [00:13:48] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Um, so [00:13:50] when I learned about that, it sounds like it's so simple and [00:13:55] straightforward, but when I really learned about the benefits of that and [00:14:00] having the parent be in a, you know, as calm [00:14:05] as possible place to- Mm-hmm [00:14:06] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: co-regulate with their kids, that the benefits of [00:14:10] that are incredible. And, um, and really [00:14:15] finding whatever that looks like for you. If it's meditation, if it's, you know, um, [00:14:20] going on a walk, if it's exercising, whatever that looks like as being a helpful [00:14:25] thing to implement into your daily routine. And, you know, it's [00:14:30] definitely not easy to do. [00:14:32] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Right. Like, I wake up now at 5:00 in the morning just to [00:14:35] make sure that I can get my meditation in in the morning before [00:14:40] my kids wake up, and that I have that as a way to start my day before I have coffee, [00:14:45] before I look at my phone. Like, I... It- it's... You know, I, I wake up [00:14:50] early to make sure that that's something that happens in my day. [00:14:53] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Um, but I [00:14:55] think that everybody has to do what works for them. For me, I've definitely noticed that [00:15:00] prioritizing my calm energy and my ability [00:15:05] to be in a place of, of as much calm as possible to co-regulate with [00:15:10] my kids for whatever is thrown at me throughout the day, if it's a temper tantrum, if it's a meltdown, if [00:15:15] it's a- Right, [00:15:15] Dr. Taz: right [00:15:16] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: uh, you know, we're running late for something, if it's something doesn't go the [00:15:20] way that we want it to, I feel that I'm much better equipped and prepared [00:15:25] to flow with those things. Deal with that, [00:15:26] Dr. Taz: yeah. [00:15:27] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Yeah. Now. [00:15:28] Dr. Taz: I love that, uh, that [00:15:30] word, actually. I love that word and that idea of co-regulation, that we're sort of cor- co-regulating with their, with our [00:15:35] children, you know, in any given moment, because they really are reading our energy. [00:15:38] Dr. Taz: And, you know, my daughter is such [00:15:40] a feeler and so sensitive. Like, before I say a word, she kinda knows what's going [00:15:45] on with me, and she'll react to that. Yeah. And then I'm reacting to whatever she's reacting to. So, so anyhow, [00:15:50] it's just so interesting to establish that cadence. You know, one of the things, too, and I've often [00:15:55] said this, is that in the journey of being a new mom and raising children and starting this family, [00:16:00] the dads get depressed. [00:16:01] Dr. Taz: You know, I don't know if you've seen that in your conversations with your guest [00:16:05] or, you know, amongst your friends and things like that, but the dads sometimes will feel like they're on the outside of it, [00:16:10] and then they're sort of dealing with this new person, this mom, [00:16:15] who is, you know, sometimes struggling with all the responsibilities on her plate. [00:16:18] Dr. Taz: You know, how, [00:16:20] how do we help our partners, you know, in this journey of parenting? [00:16:25] And how do we do things like keep the actual relationship with our partners [00:16:30] and kind of the romance alive as we are, you know, again, kind of, you know, really [00:16:35] feeling like we're stretched and being pulled in multiple different directions? [00:16:39] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I feel like that's [00:16:40] something I'm definitely still learning. I think I g- I grew up with, um, my [00:16:45] parents definitely having their own individual [00:16:50] roles with parenting and how, um, and what they were kind of in [00:16:55] charge of with us kids. I would say that with, [00:17:00] uh, Chris and I, we have, from the very beginning, [00:17:05] open communication and dialogue has been, like, the foundation in, in addition to, [00:17:10] um- Mm-hmm [00:17:10] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: other things. But it's been a huge priority for us to [00:17:15] just be open with one another and communicate with one another and [00:17:20] be able to check in. Um, we're very honest with each other, so if I [00:17:25] seem like I'm frazzled or stressed out or, like- Yeah ... maxed out- [00:17:28] Dr. Taz: Mm-hmm ... [00:17:29] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: he'll say, [00:17:30] he'll say to me, like, "Hey, what can I do to help here? [00:17:34] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: What can I do?" And [00:17:35] I'm always, you know, I am the oldest in my family, so I'm very- Right ... much like, "I have to [00:17:40] do it all myself." Yep. "Don't, nobody can help me." [00:17:42] Dr. Taz: No one can [00:17:43] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: help me. Yep. No one can help me. [00:17:45] Um, and I really learned, you know, through being a mom and also [00:17:50] being in a relationship th- like the one that I'm in, that [00:17:55] it's okay to ask for help. [00:17:56] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: It's okay. You have to be clear about that. That's really, really [00:18:00] helpful for relationships is to say, like, "Hey, this is, this is what [00:18:05] you can help with, and this is what I can help with," and, um, being [00:18:10] open about that dialogue, not assuming people can read your mind. That was another big thing for me- [00:18:15] Right, right [00:18:15] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: is, like, I would assume, like, you know exactly what- [00:18:19] Dr. Taz: Yes ... [00:18:19] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: [00:18:20] I need here or what. And it's like, no, they, you know, no he doesn't, or [00:18:25] no, uh, in a relationship, they don't know what, what necessarily to do. So being able to [00:18:30] have open communication and say, like, "This is a space that you can really help me in [00:18:35] as a parent. [00:18:35] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: This is a space as a partner you can really help me in," or, um, you know, [00:18:40] "Here is, uh, a variety of different ways that I need more support [00:18:45] and I need more help in this space." So I, I think that for me, being able [00:18:50] to be comfortable asking for help, comfortable being open, [00:18:55] um, and just knowing that, like, you know, when I look at Chris and I [00:19:00] at the end of the day, we're on the same team. [00:19:02] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, we both- Right ... want to raise- [00:19:05] well-rounded, good human beings as children that [00:19:10] are healthy and happy, and that's both of our goal. And so being in a place where we're [00:19:15] butting heads is not helpful for anybody. And we [00:19:20] both have the same goal every single day and the same intention, and we have the same [00:19:25] values. [00:19:25] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And so remembering that even when you are maxed out [00:19:30] on your nervous system or you feel, like, overwhelmed in parenting, which happens a [00:19:35] lot, just keeping that in mind. Like, we're on the same team. We're, you know, [00:19:40] check in with each other, make an effort to make that time. Um, and [00:19:45] it doesn't have to look like a date night. [00:19:46] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, I would love to say that every single week we make sure- Right ... that we go on a [00:19:50] date night. I, you know, and I know date nights are really important, but they just don't happen [00:19:55] every week because life happens. Right. Very much. So finding other ways to connect and to stay connected is really important, if that's going on a walk, a hike, if it's, you [00:20:00] know-[00:20:05] [00:20:07] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: putting your phones away after you get the kids to [00:20:10] sleep and just, like, sitting and connecting with one another and talking, that's another great thing to do. So, like, [00:20:15] there's a variety of different ways that, that, you know, if you can't make date night [00:20:20] happen to connect, that you can make other ways- [00:20:21] Dr. Taz: Very much [00:20:22] Dr. Taz: um- You know, I remember my husband asked me a question. He [00:20:25] was like, "Why are women always on their phones at every traffic light?" And I'm like, [00:20:30] I, because they're overburdened, you know? Mm-hmm. They have so much to do, and usually so many different [00:20:35] logistics to plan for different members of the family, so usually they're just trying to get one more thing done [00:20:40] and off their list. [00:20:41] Dr. Taz: And I think one of the things that I noticed with myself, and even with many [00:20:45] of my patients, is that they were losing the connection to their partners because they were so [00:20:50] busy getting their to-do lists done. Mm-hmm. And it's taken me a little bit of maturity and understanding, [00:20:55] like, it's okay. Put the phones away. [00:20:56] Dr. Taz: There should be at least 15 to 20 minutes [00:21:00] daily, if not more, where you're looking at each other, speaking to each other. You're not [00:21:05] scrolling, you know? And sometimes that's worth way more than a, a date night at a [00:21:10] restaurant that you, you know, that- For sure ... takes a lot of planning and logistics and all that other stuff, especially with, you [00:21:15] know, younger children. [00:21:15] Dr. Taz: So I think that's such a thing. And then the whole thing of, "I got [00:21:20] this. I can do it myself," so many women fall into that. Why? Yeah. Why is that? Like, [00:21:25] I'm not- I- ... gonna hire help. I'm not gonna ask for help, you know? So all of those things. [00:21:27] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Yeah. I mean, I, I honestly [00:21:30] feel like it's just being the oldest for me. [00:21:32] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, I feel like I- Yeah ... always, like, I [00:21:35] always pride myself and I'm like, "I got this. I can do it. I can do..." Yeah. Like, "I'm gonna do this to myself. I'm [00:21:40] gonna do..." And my sister actually, my sister is a year and a half younger than me, and I remember [00:21:45] when I was... I think I was, my last pregnancy, I was [00:21:50] carrying, I was very pregnant with Eloise, and I was carrying Lila and the diaper [00:21:55] bag and my purse and, like, this other bag, and she's like, "Let me help you." [00:21:59] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And I was like, "No, no, no. It's [00:22:00] fine. I got it." And she was like, "Katherine, you don't- ... you don't need to [00:22:05] prove anything to me. Like, I know you're strong. I know you're capable. Let me help you carry this [00:22:10] stuff to your car." And I was like, "Ugh, fine." Like I... But it's like, you know- [00:22:15] Until you have someone who can, you know, give it to you straight and just be like, "There's nothing [00:22:20] you, you don't need to do this." [00:22:21] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Right. Like, "I can, I can help you. It's okay. You're still [00:22:25] just as strong and capable as you were before. You let me help you." Like, you know, [00:22:30] it's a, it's a different m- mentality and mindset, but it's definitely, you know, it's [00:22:35] true. [00:22:35] Dr. Taz: Definitely important, and, and if it's your blind spot, remember, like, to [00:22:40] kinda, to see past it, because I think so many people get into trouble, so many new moms get into trouble with [00:22:45] that. [00:22:45] Dr. Taz: You know, you are, what, eight months? How, how pregnant are you right now? [00:22:49] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Oh, no. [00:22:50] Right now I'm, you know, I am, like, I could go into labor while I'm on this call- Oh, my goodness ... with [00:22:55] you right [00:22:55] Dr. Taz: now. Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for being here. [00:22:59] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Ideally, [00:23:00] ideally we wouldn't have that happen. I know. [00:23:01] Dr. Taz: Oh, wow. And this is your, this is your third, right? [00:23:03] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Third baby. This is, yeah, this is my [00:23:05] third baby, and I don't know, um, [00:23:10] I don't know what I'm having, and it's really exciting. It's, [00:23:15] like, a surprise that I feel like nobody who knows me, everybody who [00:23:20] knows me knows that I like to plan and then, like- Right ... know every, as much information as [00:23:25] possible. So the fact that I don't know if I'm having a boy or a girl stresses everyone out around [00:23:30] me. [00:23:30] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Um, but I feel very, like, you know, excited and good [00:23:35] about it. So I think, um, yeah, I'm like, you know, I'm [00:23:40] full-term, ready to have a baby, and embracing the [00:23:45] The time of what that will bring, and also understanding that, [00:23:50] like, the newborn days are a little crazy, and I have- They're [00:23:53] Dr. Taz: crazy ... [00:23:54] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: two, [00:23:55] I have two, uh, toddlers that I'm also like, you know, they're gonna go through [00:24:00] their own adjustment period and, you know, everybody's gonna [00:24:05] go through a new, uh, a moment of trying to find their [00:24:10] groove, and being aware of that and comfortable with it, as [00:24:15] comfortable as I can be with it. [00:24:16] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And, um, also always remembering that, like, [00:24:20] I'm... My siblings are my best friends- Mm-hmm ... and I'm the oldest of [00:24:25] four, and we have a similar age spacing in my [00:24:30] family as, um, as our kids are. And so I always try to remember, like, [00:24:35] any time I think, "My God, my," you know, "my two oldest are gonna feel like I'm [00:24:40] neglecting them," or I'm like, you know, I'm like, I never felt that with my mom. [00:24:44] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, I never felt- [00:24:45] [00:24:45] Dr. Taz: No. Yeah ... [00:24:45] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I never felt... And my mom is, you know, the best mom in the entire world, and [00:24:50] just does every- Love that. Yeah ... like, she's, like, insane. But, um, I try [00:24:55] to remember that a lot, 'cause it's always like, I think parents go back and forth with like, this is [00:25:00] really exciting, and then also feeling like, oh my gosh, I'm not gonna be able to give my kids- Not doing enough. [00:25:04] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Yeah ... the [00:25:05] same attention. Yeah. Um, but yeah. So I'm [00:25:10] excited. We'll see. [00:25:10] Dr. Taz: I'm excited for you. So there's something I've gotta ask, is there something you did this [00:25:15] pregnancy to prepare for the postpartum period, or during the pregnancy that was different from the other [00:25:20] ones, or not necessarily? [00:25:22] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: You know, my first, uh, my first [00:25:25] pregnancy and postpartum was, like, in the thick of COVID, so I literally did nothing. [00:25:29] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, I, [00:25:30] um, I stayed home, I was by myself, I was isolated. I definitely [00:25:35] experienced a lot of, like, postpartum anxiety my first, uh, after my first daughter, [00:25:40] Lyla, was born, and it was, like, anxiety about, you know, getting sick, about [00:25:45] h- you know, making sure that I didn't do anything to, um, [00:25:50] you know, risk my health or her health. [00:25:52] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I was by myself a lot, so I felt very lonely [00:25:55] and isolated in that space, 'cause even though my family was 10 minutes away from me, you couldn't [00:26:00] see anybody until they were tested- Mm-hmm ... or in a quarantine. So it was a very [00:26:05] challenging postpartum. Um, my second, I would say, was [00:26:10] much... It was still in COVID times, but it was, you had the ability to, like, know a little [00:26:15] bit more about- Um, how to keep each other safe, and I really leaned on [00:26:20] my family in that time, and that was amazing. [00:26:23] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I also introduced [00:26:25] a lot of the kind of, um, Ayurvedic, uh, [00:26:30] philosophies about healing postpartum- Mm-hmm. I love that ... um, with my second, [00:26:35] uh, after Eloise was born. And that, to me, was, like, [00:26:40] dramatically impactful with my hormones- [00:26:43] Dr. Taz: Wow ... [00:26:43] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: and my healing [00:26:45] process. And I I really, like, [00:26:50] for me this time as, uh, doing it a third time, I fully intend on doing the [00:26:55] same, you know, warming foods and nourishing foods. [00:26:58] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And I breastfed both my [00:27:00] girls for 15 months, and I really, for me, it was like about [00:27:05] healing myself from the inside out and being, you know, [00:27:10] very present with my newborn, but also understanding that [00:27:15] your body just spent 40 weeks growing a human- Yes ... and [00:27:20] also an entire organ, and then you, you know, have both of those leave your [00:27:25] body, and that that takes time to, you know, to [00:27:30] heal and recover from. [00:27:31] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And feeding your body and nourishing your body and taking care of [00:27:35] your body is, is an amazing way to do that. And obviously, you don't [00:27:40] get enough sleep. You don't get, you know, you don't drink enough water. You don't eat enough food. But doing it where you [00:27:45] can and setting yourself up in advance was helpful for me last time, and I've tried to do [00:27:50] that as much as I can this time. [00:27:51] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Um, and then there's parts of it that I'm just like, "I don't even know," because I've [00:27:55] never had two kids that are in a bunch of activities [00:28:00] and- Right ... also have a newborn. So I'm kind of... That part of it I'm unknown about. But I would [00:28:05] say that I'm setting myself up this time [00:28:10] to have my girls fully, you know, [00:28:15] um, entertained and occupied by my mom and sister [00:28:19] Dr. Taz: Amazing.[00:28:20] [00:28:20] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: as much as possible. And then, um, also have myself set up [00:28:25] and, uh, cared for as much as possible going into it as I [00:28:30] can. [00:28:30] Dr. Taz: I love that you mention that. You know that I am a champion of bringing [00:28:35] these Eastern sort of practices- Yes ... whether it's Ayurveda or Chinese medicine, into the healing [00:28:40] picture, because I think we don't honor, you know, a lot of what needs to happen when we're [00:28:45] raising children, bearing children, all of the above. [00:28:47] Dr. Taz: And so both systems of [00:28:50] medicine, every Eastern system of medicine I've ever looked at, talks about that six weeks or [00:28:55] those 40 days of really needing to heal, nourish your gut, nourish your liver, [00:29:00] you know, get in the, as many nutrients and vitamins, and be supported by all- Mm-hmm ... the people [00:29:05] around you, and ask for that support. [00:29:07] Dr. Taz: So I'm so glad that you are on that path. That is my [00:29:10] passion- Yay ... and my mission. I love it. So and I'm wishing you so much luck. I know, I know, um, [00:29:15] we're, we're short on time today, but I can't wait to hear how everything [00:29:20] goes and to even- Thank you ... see your little one. I'm so excited for you, and definitely wanna be [00:29:25] supportive of your journey as well. [00:29:26] Dr. Taz: But before you leave us, I have to ask you this question. [00:29:30] [00:29:30] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Yes. [00:29:30] Dr. Taz: What makes you whole? [00:29:34] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: My family, [00:29:35] [00:29:35] Dr. Taz: for [00:29:35] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: sure [00:29:35] Dr. Taz: Oh, I love that [00:29:36] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Yeah Families are great Definitely Yeah Family is, like, everything for [00:29:40] me. Um, and it's, like, the number one most important thing for me [00:29:45] every day, always, no matter what, family, family, family Mm-hmm. [00:29:49] Dr. Taz: I [00:29:50] love that. Yeah I am aligned with you that way. I think it, it's really what brings our meaning [00:29:55] into existence very much. So good luck- Thank you ... and lots of love and kisses [00:30:00] and hugs and all of those things. Thank you so much I can't wait to, to see how it all turns out, and of [00:30:05] course we'll stay in touch. [00:30:06] Dr. Taz: Yes. But thank you so much for taking some time today to join me and share [00:30:10] your wisdom and your experience with so many people who really truly are struggling right now, and [00:30:15] just need to hear how it's done and how many of us are tackling [00:30:20] parenting, relationships, raising children in today's society, and [00:30:25] really leaning into that concept and idea of family as being the grounding force that helps [00:30:30] us get through all of it. [00:30:30] Dr. Taz: So thank you so much. [00:30:32] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Thank you so much, and I'll make sure to check in [00:30:35] postpartum [00:30:36] Dr. Taz: Yes [00:30:36] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: We'll see how it's all going [00:30:37] Dr. Taz: Please do. I'm, I am here for you. Please [00:30:40] [00:30:40] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: do- [00:30:41] Dr. Taz: Thank you ... for sure. All right, take care. [00:30:42] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Bye. [00:30:43] Dr. Taz: Thank you so much for [00:30:45] listening and watching today's episode of HolPlus. Be sure to share this episode with your friends and [00:30:50] family, and if you haven't already, please take a moment to subscribe to this podcast on YouTube, or [00:30:55] click the follow button on Apple, Spotify, or wherever it is that you get your podcasts. [00:30:59] Dr. Taz: And don't forget to [00:31:00] follow me on all social channels @DrTazMD. Until next time, stay [00:31:05] healthy and stay whole.