Latest / AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation / [EP71] How to catch a pattern before it takes over (and why it takes a few rounds to see it)
Transcript
- 0:00So when we are in the pattern, it's always harder to see it.
- 0:07And when it happens, you know, when it has happened a few times,
- 0:10then there's a better chance of us seeing it because, you know,
- 0:16it's repeated itself and you start to see like, hang on,
- 0:20this has happened before or I've been here before or this is, you know,
- 0:23this feeling or this sensation or this, you know, repercussion,
- 0:30seem to have come across this before so therefore we start to have some clues
- 0:34perhaps so then we can start to identify like okay seems like there's some kind
- 0:38of a pattern here so I think that's the first part of becoming aware of it so
- 0:44the fact that you're actually asking the question shows that you already have
- 0:47some awareness of it and already able to I want to say see it right like be
- 0:54aware of it and track it so how do you become aware of it before it takes over
- 1:05I think the simple answer which I don't think it's that simple but I'll give the simple answer
- 1:11the simple answer is to start to pay attention and the more we are able to pay attention which
- 1:17is what you know practices like meditation teach us the better the chance we have right like the
- 1:24to pay attention no matter which chance we have to realize it to see it to see it in effect you
- 1:32know like it taking its course but I think that's you know probably too simple an answer or at least
- 1:41for me it might be unfortunately I think you know sometimes we have to go through it several times
- 1:47you know sometimes like we just have to go through it several times before we can start to see it
- 1:54okay it's starting to show up you can start to see it um you know so that means like you have
- 2:00a bit more of an awareness of it the first time maybe we are really unaware the second time
- 2:09you know it's like hang on i feel like i've been here before and then it's like third fourth you
- 2:14know more times this has actually happened several times now and you can start to you know track more
- 2:21of it so I think unfortunately you know unless we have really heightened a
- 2:29level of awareness it's really hard to see and catch the pattern before it
- 2:35starts to let's say take over right like and run the show run our lives so
- 2:42unfortunately I think the answer is like you just have to go through it several
- 2:46times for most of us and when you start to see certain patterns like like you're saying here
- 2:53about your back right like okay so there's certain clues there's certain things that happen
- 3:00every time right so physically or maybe emotionally or maybe situation right like
- 3:07there's a certain response that we get from the people around us who are involved in that
- 3:13dynamic, that pattern, that round.
- 3:16Or maybe consistently we get a certain response or reaction
- 3:20from a person or people. So therefore there's these
- 3:25clues for us to track it and start to realize that hang on
- 3:28this has happened more than once and what's actually going on here.
- 3:35Then as you start to pay attention to it
- 3:37I think it starts from more a surface level awareness
- 3:42all of us and then we start to go deeper and start to explore like okay what is actually
- 3:47in play here what is actually going on right like what's running what's underneath it
- 3:53um and so that's more from like surface down i'm going under there under that and starting to look
- 3:59at the layers underneath it i think the other answer is like you know if you've been doing
- 4:04the kind of work that we do the practices that we do um then you start to have some awareness of
- 4:12the story, the narrative that is running, right?
- 4:15Like in the mind and really running our lives.
- 4:18And most of the time,
- 4:21almost everything is just another variation,
- 4:25like a clever variation I find anyway in my life.
- 4:28It's just another clever variation of the same story
- 4:32or the core story,
- 4:33the narrative that's been running itself in my life.
- 4:36But the mind has come up with a clever version.
- 4:38So it looks different or it feels different.
- 4:42or maybe it's just like another layer of it like a deeper layer of it or a variation of it so either
- 4:49way it is more awareness work like it's more paying attention to whatever let's say clues we
- 4:57have so emotions you know and the minds and the the the you know the the conversation that the
- 5:05mind is having around it and i'm not just talking about the noise it makes but underneath it you
- 5:10fundamentally when like talking about story work it's in it's in the language
- 5:17of normally like a young innocent child you know which is a lot of times we can
- 5:22trace it back in our timeline in our story work as somewhere in our earlier
- 5:27years so that generally the language around it when we go deep enough it
- 5:32comes down to that you know I am there so I'm not this or I'm not enough or I'm
- 5:37not level you know like that kind of language very simple language not too clever like adult
- 5:45complex language if we pay enough attention it comes down to that and therefore you know we
- 5:51are hitting kind of um i just had a visual of a like a tooth right like the the the nerve we're
- 5:59hitting the nerve we're getting down to the depth of it so then it's like oh okay there's something
- 6:03here that's like a jolt.
- 6:05You know, some kind of emotion.
- 6:07Maybe there's some kind of sensation.
- 6:08Like, you know, you're talking about your back.
- 6:10And so therefore, you're onto something
- 6:12because there's some emotional charge.
- 6:16There's some energy there underneath it.
- 6:19So I think these are all clues of
- 6:21like when I'm actually getting to,
- 6:24like getting somewhere with the story.
- 6:26Like, you know, I speak for myself.
- 6:29And these are all practices of, you know,
- 6:33getting underneath it, becoming more aware of it.
- 6:37And sometimes, you know, the answer is just that
- 6:41there's no insurance policy, you know,
- 6:44in having so much awareness that we don't actually hit the pattern.
- 6:47A lot of times, for most of us, I think we are mortals,
- 6:50we hit the patterns and then we hit it more than once or several times.
- 6:55And then we just get more skilled at noticing the patterns before we hit it.
- 7:03So whether it's in the body, whether it's in our emotions, you know, most of the time, like it's internal, you know, or whether it's like the narrative, the voice in the head, or maybe it starts external and then starts like we start to have more of an awareness of internal landscape and what's going on.
- 7:18So therefore, we can track it better, you know, like we are able to see it or catch it before, let's say, it catches you, like the story is running your life and you find yourself in a pattern and you're like, well, how do I get here?
- 7:35how do you become conscious of that before it takes over?
- 7:41I want to equate it to something like,
- 7:46something that we can relate to,
- 7:47which is, let's say like in a yoga pose,
- 7:49I think the level of awareness
- 7:53becomes developed around the pattern.
- 7:55So our ability to become aware of it.
- 7:58So therefore, like in a yoga pose,
- 8:02you do it enough times.
- 8:03and if something doesn't feel right,
- 8:07like the knees,
- 8:09there's this electric kind of sensation
- 8:11or the back,
- 8:12there's something there
- 8:14that there's almost like a warning
- 8:15or like a pre-warning
- 8:16that the body gives.
- 8:18So the body is a bit more tangible that way.
- 8:20But with the patterns,
- 8:22like this stuff that's running our lives,
- 8:25it's kind of like that in a way as well.
- 8:26We just get more skilled at picking up.
- 8:29Like, okay,
- 8:30I think I can guess where this is going.
- 8:33Because I've gone down this path several times.
- 8:36So therefore, not getting paranoid about it and just, you know, like assuming that is what it is.
- 8:44But starting to become aware and starting to pay attention to the point of like, okay, let me start to notice this.
- 8:51Let me start to, you know, watch this pattern as it's starting to unravel itself and show itself.
- 8:56And even if it's cleverer and showing you a different variation of it, you start to go underneath it.
- 9:03It's the same structure, it's the same kind of pattern.
- 9:06So we get better at tracking it,
- 9:09which is kind of what you're asking.
- 9:12So I think, yeah, the short answer,
- 9:16which sounds like I'm cheating with the answer
- 9:19is to pay more attention.
- 9:21And as we get better at paying attention,
- 9:24we're able to become aware, let's say earlier and earlier,
- 9:29so that we can almost not predict it,
- 9:33but preempt it before it starts to play out.
- 9:36You know, it's like, oh, there's step one,
- 9:39or like step minus three, minus two, minus one.
- 9:43Oh, we're getting to zero.
- 9:44Oh, we're getting to one.
- 9:45And it's like, okay, now the pattern's starting to unravel.
- 9:47And I've been through it several times now.
- 9:49You know, even though it looks different on the outside,
- 9:51the inside, the structure of it seems to be the same.
- 9:54It seems to be the same steps.
- 9:55You know, it's unraveling itself.
- 9:57So therefore, let me start to like interrupt it.
- 10:01when you start to pause, take a breath, you know, switch
- 10:05on a physical level there, you know, we switch.
- 10:08But the breaking free from the story,
- 10:14and I think this is the essence of liberation of the mind
- 10:20or enlightenment, is not that the mind doesn't have thoughts,
- 10:25you know, and that we are free from thinking.
- 10:27thinking is going to happen thoughts are going to be there this machine the thinking machine is
- 10:33going to produce thoughts right it's going to do thinking but it's our relationship to thinking
- 10:39it's our relationship to the thoughts that that can shift so even in meditation for example
- 10:44the mind is doing this thing called thinking but it's almost like just the voice
- 10:48that you know very very close and like we're in it can feel i want to say disassociated but i'm
- 10:57it's just that it feels more distant and you know eventually the voice can feel like it's in another
- 11:03room the voice of the mind so therefore our relationship to it it goes from one off completely
- 11:08immersed in it and it's running your life to oh i can see this thing you know i am the awareness
- 11:14that can witness this thing this thought this pattern so as we start to pay attention as we
- 11:20start to develop our awareness um we get better at tracking it and also we get better at
- 11:27say interrupt like preempting it and interrupting the pattern and then you know being free from it
- 11:33so you can see it and you can breathe free from it and therefore you can make different choices
- 11:39it's not got a grip on you and it doesn't feel like you have no choice like you're just going
- 11:44to have to go down that path again right like the freedom the liberation i think and you know the
- 11:50the they call enlightenment is like is this the shift in the relationship with thinking
- 11:57from that the free freedom from that is that okay i can see it but i'm i can now i've got enough
- 12:04space now to choose differently and go down a different path you know and that's i think that's
- 12:10the essence of transformation and i think that's what in the spiritual text you know like the
- 12:16greats are trying to teach us you know and pass down um to us as well so that's what i would
- 12:23suggests and I mean it's really not that different to what I've said before it's just put in context
- 12:31in like what we're talking you know you've you've asked here in your question so you've already got
- 12:36the awareness of it you can see the pattern it's clear you know it's happened before you've gone
- 12:41through it before whenever this particular challenge comes into my life I seem to lose
- 12:46myself in it so you have an awareness that you lose yourself in it and but you know like you
- 12:53This is where like you're immersed in it,
- 12:55you know, like you jump in the river
- 12:56and like you're drowning, you can see yourself drowning
- 12:58or being submerged, right, under the current, the waves.
- 13:01And you're like, what do I do about it?
- 13:03So you're starting to develop that awareness.
- 13:05And you also have the awareness of like, okay,
- 13:08but every time it happens, I get submerged, right?
- 13:11So in the submerging of it is what you're saying here,
- 13:14you carry the weight of it, and then you crumble under it.
- 13:16And then the body just reflects that.
- 13:19So what's been going on in your back,
- 13:20like just reflects that, you know,
- 13:23in any other area of the body it's the same patterns it's going to keep coming back so you
- 13:28can address it on a physical level you can address it on an emotional level you can address it on an
- 13:32energetic level you can address it on a mind's level like thoughts right like story level so
- 13:38you can go at it in any one of these levels or multiple levels and it's all going to give you
- 13:42some uh freedom from it like a breakthrough from it um and therefore you know like you you're going
- 13:50to get more and more awareness and more skill that actually navigating this and not jumping
- 13:55in next time or you didn't even choose to jump in but you just find yourself in it and
- 14:00you're like well shit how did this happen um so then making different choices that's
- 14:07how you interrupt you know and i think so awareness is one part and then like interrupting
- 14:11the pattern so that you don't you know you don't find yourself immersed in it again um
- 14:15and then making different choices and i think that's where the breakthrough is when we are
- 14:20enough space between you and the thoughtless story and that you're able to choose differently
- 14:25and act you know make different choices act differently so therefore you get a different
- 14:29result and it doesn't run you anymore