Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 596: Why You Must Push Your Ex Away If You Want Them Back

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Episode 596: Why You Must Push Your Ex Away If You Want Them Back · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:01
  Hi. This is Luke here with yard of
• 0:02
  love. I'm a dating and relationship,
• 0:04
  experts specializing in helping you get your ex back or to get
• 0:08
  over your ex this week. I want to talk about why you
• 0:11
  must push your ex away if you want them back.
• 0:14
  I know this sounds counterintuitive, but as with
• 0:17
  many things in dating, It's usually the opposite of what you
• 0:20
  think will work. That actually works logic is not
• 0:24
  your friend when it comes to dealing with people's emotions.
• 0:28
  But first, I want to welcome back my beautiful, no contact
• 0:32
  Army. We still have room for a few
• 0:34
  more people to test the Android version of my app.
• 0:36
  Silencio, the link is underneath every single video and podcast.
• 0:40
  So if you're interested go to my website the art of love dotnet
• 0:45
  and sign up for my free newsletter that way, you will be
• 0:48
  on the email list and we will let you know when we are ready
• 0:51
  to move forward and have you download the app and test it.
• 0:56
  And if you two would like to join my no contact Army, all you
• 0:59
  have to do is hit the Subscribe button and the bell notification
• 1:04
  and you're in and to read our Emmanuel, go to no contact,
• 1:08
  secrets.com, where you can read to free chapters before
• 1:12
  purchasing the book, okay? So let's talk about pushing your
• 1:16
  ex, a way to get them back. So to understand how to get your
• 1:22
  ex back by pushing them away, we have to look at interest level
• 1:25
  which I've talked about here many times.
• 1:28
  If you've heard my other videos and I first learned about
• 1:31
  interest level from the lake jock love.
• 1:33
  And basically, if you haven't heard me, talk about it, the
• 1:36
  higher someone's interest level is on a scale of 1 to 100 the
• 1:40
  lower, the chances that they will break up with you.
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  However, when their interest level goes below 50, that is
• 1:46
  when they break up with you and that is the only reason that
• 1:50
  someone breaks up with you. And any other reason they give
• 1:54
  you is always a secondary reason.
• 1:56
  So if they say well, it's long distance or I'm not ready for a
• 1:59
  relationship. I'm busy with school kids,
• 2:02
  whatever. No.
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  It's the interest level, because how come distance wasn't the
• 2:07
  problem before? Huh.
• 2:09
  How come they were ready for a relationship before?
• 2:11
  Huh? And any other excuse, right?
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  It was all fine when their interest level was high but now
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  that it's not now they're not willing to make any sacrifices
• 2:21
  or put up. With anything, they just want to
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  get it there. So in a happy relationship or a
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  healthy healthy happy and healthy relationship.
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  Interest levels are usually very close together and they're
• 2:32
  always changing. So sometimes yours is a little
• 2:37
  higher than your partner's son. Was your partner's a little
• 2:39
  higher than yours but usually they'll both be in the 80s or
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  90s. So there may only be about a
• 2:46
  five to ten point different difference.
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  However, when they break up with you, now, their interest level
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  is below 50. So if you're interested of was
• 2:56
  80 or 90, now the difference is 30 or 40 points.
• 3:01
  We're gonna be doing some math today so how are you going to
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  make up that difference? How are you going to make it so
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  that the difference becomes only five or ten the way it was
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  before? Well you're obviously going to
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  try to raise their interest level to make it go above 50 so
• 3:19
  that they'll consider or start to consider at least getting
• 3:22
  back with you. And another way to close that
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  Gap is for you to appear to have a lower interest level I say
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  appear because I know that when you're rejected your interest
• 3:32
  level went through the roof, it's probably at 100.
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  And your ex knows it's probably very high and that they can get
• 3:40
  you back at any time. Since you were not the one who
• 3:43
  wanted the break up in the first place.
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  So they're walking around very confident with their very low
• 3:49
  interest level knowing that your interest level is very high and
• 3:52
  that if they change their mind that they can have you back and
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  as I said in my very first video about it getting next back,
• 3:59
  titled how to easily get your ex back and I'll put the link in
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  the upper right corner on YouTube.
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  When someone breaks up with you they're not Your percent sure
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  they want to break up with you, but they're at least 51 percent
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  sure that he wants to break up with you.
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  But there's still that 49%. If there are 51, meaning that
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  they still have some doubts about whether they made the
• 4:22
  right decision, no matter how adamant, they seemed at the time
• 4:25
  and no matter how stubborn you think they are.
• 4:29
  And it's going to remain. We're going to deal with that
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  remaining 49% or whatever it is. In your case, you might be 45
• 4:38
  might be 40 and that's what's going to help you get them back.
• 4:43
  So we're going to work on that part of them, that wasn't
• 4:46
  totally sure that they want to break up with you and the way to
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  do that, as I said, is to appear to have low interest as well.
• 4:55
  And this will begin to sow the seeds of Doubt as to whether
• 4:59
  they could even get you back. If they want you, when they
• 5:02
  break up with you, they no longer see you as their equal,
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  they see you as being below them since your interest level has
• 5:09
  gone down in yours is still high.
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  So when you chase them, Call them, buy them Flowers and
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  Gifts, wish them a happy birthday responsive every call,
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  every text, you're just reinforcing the fact that you
• 5:21
  have a very high interest level, even though they have a low
• 5:25
  interest level and that the gap between the two interests, it's
• 5:28
  still huge. It wasn't like before when you
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  were together and it was only 5 or 10 points.
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  So by doing those things you're showing that the Gap is 30 or 40
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  points and that is not where you want it to be.
• 5:41
  That is not how you're going to get them back.
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  Back. So the only way to get their
• 5:45
  interest to go up while making it appear that yours has gone
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  down and therefore closing. The Gap is to do the exact
• 5:52
  opposite of all those things. Stop chasing them.
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  Stop trying to win them back with flowers or gifts.
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  Stop contacting them for the birthday.
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  Stop responding to every little breadcrumb, etc, etc.
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  And the reason this is hard for people is because you don't see
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  the immediate effect that this It has on your ex.
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  They knew you didn't want the breakup, so they expect you to
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  chase them and when you don't, it takes a while for it to
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  register because they keep thinking, oh, any day now.
• 6:25
  Any day now. He's going to text me, she's
• 6:27
  going to text me, she's going to show up here, he's going to call
• 6:29
  me and hear from them until finally, one day they realized
• 6:34
  that, wait a minute, I haven't heard from them.
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  I wonder if maybe I'll never hear from them and they seem to
• 6:39
  be moving on with her life and maybe they're even going out on
• 6:42
  dates. And oh my God, I thought that
• 6:44
  maybe If I change my mind, I could get them back but maybe,
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  maybe I can't. And as I talked about in my
• 6:51
  video, this 60-day Rule and I'll put the link in the upper right
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  hand corner. Many X's will contact you
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  between days, 45 and 60 of no contact and the 60-day rule
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  works. Best when you go into no contact
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  immediately after the breakup. So if you kept trying to get
• 7:09
  your ex back and let two or three weeks go by and you're so
• 7:13
  chasing them, then you may have to wait longer to hear from
• 7:16
  them. That's why if you want the best
• 7:19
  chance to get your ex back you have to go into no contact
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  immediately or soon as you can after the breakup.
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  But the good thing is that time is on your side during a break
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  up, because the more time that goes by, the more you will close
• 7:35
  the gap. If you leave them alone, and
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  don't respond to breadcrumbs and make it look like your interest
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  level is low. Easy to say I know hard to do
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  but it's the only way okay it's the only way and the best way to
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  get your ex back so if you want to find out more about interest
• 7:55
  level I would suggest you read doc loves book, the system and
• 7:59
  the link to check it out is underneath every single video.
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  And you can read ten free chapters.
• 8:05
  There are short chapters before you purchase that.
• 8:07
  Okay? So now I want to hear from you.
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  How are you keeping yourself busy during no contact so that
• 8:13
  you don't contact? At them and you don't respond to
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  breadcrumb and you make it appear like your interest.
• 8:19
  Level is low also. Okay, let me know below and in
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  the meantime if you'd like my help to get your ex back,
• 8:25
  contact me at the art of love dotnet and we will send you the
• 8:28
  rates. The direct link is below.
• 8:31
  If you found this video helpful, please like subscribe and share
• 8:34
  so that others can also be helped.
• 8:37
  If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review
• 8:41
  and finally remember that love inspires and powers uplifts and
• 8:45
  enlightens.