Latest / Libido Lounge / How One Person Can Fix a Dead Marriage with Dr. Lee Baucom

Transcript

How One Person Can Fix a Dead Marriage with Dr. Lee Baucom · Libido Lounge

0:00
What I see is people hitting the pause button, not consciously, but kind of subconsciously
0:05
hitting the pause button.
0:06
Pause button starts to mark a decline because the disconnection is in their connection,
0:13
obviously.
0:14
And thinking that they've had a conversation about their day and all they've done is
0:18
reported their day.
0:19
Can one person do something?
0:20
And that that's often what people come to me and say, how do you think that one person can
0:25
do that?
0:26
Because it takes two to tango.
0:28
You're already tangoing.
0:30
It it may not be going well but you're already in the dance.
0:34
A big mistake I see is
0:38
Hey everybody.
0:39
Welcome back to another episode of the Libido Lounge.
0:42
I'm your host doctor Diane Mueller, board certified sexologist, and I'm so excited about
0:48
our guest today.
0:49
As you heard in the intro, we are talking today about things like you do not need your spouse
0:55
on board initially to save your marriage.
0:58
We're gonna talk about how to save your marriage, how to unpause your your pause or
1:03
whatever you're doing that is actually that roadblock to improving and getting back on the
1:09
same team, and so much more.
1:11
And I also think the best time to work on saving your marriage, as I imagine our guest
1:17
does as well, is before the problems even start.
1:20
So we're gonna talk about that too, about how to save your marriage before you even realize
1:24
it needs saving.
1:25
So to help me, we have Marriage Coach, as you heard, Doctor.
1:28
Lee Balcombe, and welcome to the show, Lee.
1:31
It's Hello, Diane.
1:32
Thanks for thanks for having me.
1:33
I'm excited to be here.
1:35
Same.
1:35
Same.
1:36
So let's look at this, like, initially as because I do think we have a couple different
1:41
categories, and I know in some of your content, it it appears that you do as well.
1:46
We have, like, the people that there's not really a known problem, the people that they
1:51
both know they have a problem, and probably a third category of like one person thinks they
1:56
have a problem and another person thinks they're fine.
2:00
Would you say that's correct in what you see?
2:02
I think that's a pretty good yes, that's a pretty good description of topography we're
2:07
dealing with here.
2:07
Okay.
2:09
So let's deal with this, like, and have a conversation, like, you know, one at a time.
2:13
So for the couple, that I think is probably the most common thing that happens is, I guess, I
2:19
don't know, you tell me, what is more common that you see?
2:22
Do you see more people in a scenario that are having problems?
2:26
Is it more common that both people are like, yeah, we have a problem, or is it more common
2:31
that one person's like, we have a problem, and the other person thinks, oh, we're fine?
2:35
What what tends to come up more frequently?
2:37
Well, there's the other category of we have a problem and the other person going, I'm not
2:41
gonna deal with it.
2:42
You know, they know there's a problem too that I'm not gonna deal with it as opposed to I
2:45
don't even see there's a problem.
2:46
So there Right.
2:48
There are a couple of shades in there.
2:49
But, generally, when people, find themselves in a crisis, sometimes the other has already has
2:56
already kinda gotten past that.
2:57
Like, they knew there was a crisis.
2:58
They just didn't talk about it, or they quit talking about it and kind of moved on.
3:04
And then there are those who find themselves in the midst of a crisis and the spouse going, oh,
3:08
we'll get past this.
3:09
We're it's just a phase.
3:10
Right?
3:11
The the reality that I see is with the starting point, and and I think that's an important
3:17
piece.
3:19
What I see is people hitting the pause button, not consciously, but kinda subconsciously
3:24
hitting the pause button.
3:26
And what I mean by that is they spend this all this time finding each other, falling in love,
3:32
building their relationship, deciding they want to be together for life.
3:35
They get married, or a committed relationship if if they're not married.
3:40
And they, then say, okay.
3:42
All that energy we put into building the marriage or building the relationship, we now
3:47
need to go conquer the rest of the world, like, have kids or, you know, build my career or or
3:54
our career or friends or travel or aging parents, whatever it is or something.
3:59
And they go, but it's okay because we've got this.
4:02
You know?
4:02
We've nailed this down, so we'll come back to this.
4:05
And that's when they hit the pause button.
4:07
And for me, that's the beginning point of the crisis.
4:11
They just didn't they don't know that.
4:13
The momentum carries them through.
4:15
That's just the place that it starts.
4:18
So the pause button in some ways is also like the autopilot button.
4:21
Right?
4:22
It's like, we don't we can just put this on autopilot.
4:24
We don't have to, like, put effort into that.
4:27
Is that kinda what we're saying by the pause button?
4:29
Yeah.
4:30
I I tend to think that autopilot assumes that they're actually it does like, if at least as
4:36
I've seen it, autopilots actually get you somewhere.
4:39
Okay.
4:40
I
4:40
see the
4:40
difference.
4:41
Right?
4:41
And the pause button starts to mark a decline because the disconnection is in their
4:47
connection, obviously, and and they're creating distance without knowing it.
4:52
And what I watch is that the when will come back to us is always future.
4:58
Like, my career gets to here, and then I'm gonna get it to here, and then I'm gonna get it
5:03
here.
5:03
The kids, when they get into diapers, and then when they get out of diapers, and then when I
5:07
get know, on and on it goes.
5:10
And the the problem is that you're establishing the habits of disconnection after all of those
5:16
habits of connection.
5:17
The the difference with the autopilot thing is those habits of connection, it sounds like, you
5:23
know, and those people pretend like those continue.
5:26
And in reality, they stop doing that relating, and they start getting to this disconnection.
5:34
Yep.
5:34
That that makes good sense.
5:36
And and I'm wondering, like, do you feel like this happens, like, pause button in many ways,
5:41
like, to couples, like like, almost on, like, a subconscious driver, I would say?
5:48
Like, do you think, like, left to our own devices, it's almost, like, surely going to
5:53
happen?
5:54
Because I think what you're saying here around, like, oh, like I look at it as like moving the
5:57
goalpost.
5:58
Right?
5:58
Like, oh, we have this goal, and then what we do as humans, because anybody that like just
6:03
like likes achievement, which is most humans on some core level, like some level of that, So we
6:09
achieve something and then we just move the goalpost and it's like you're saying, it's kids
6:13
and we'll work on that at this stage of the career, whatever.
6:15
So is this something that do you feel like most people are just destined to pause unless
6:21
something is done to intervene?
6:24
Because they don't know the effect of that, yes.
6:27
That is very common.
6:30
And so there are some relationships that just kind of continue on in the disconnection, and
6:36
they manage to think that they are connected.
6:39
So, you know, we we talk about the those habits of relating, habits of connection.
6:45
And I watch people think they're doing that.
6:47
For instance, at the end of the day coming in and saying, hey.
6:50
How was your day?
6:51
And the person going, oh, I had this meeting and this meeting and, you know, this report or
6:55
whatever.
6:56
And thinking that they've had a conversation about their day, and all I've done is reported
7:01
their day.
7:02
Right?
7:02
And so this connection is about building their rapport, and then couples fall into their
7:09
report about what the kids did, about what the day held, and they stop connecting in any ways.
7:15
They just they don't see it because they're going through the actions.
7:20
They they feel like they've had a conversation even though that conversation really had
7:24
nothing but a report in it.
7:26
Yeah.
7:27
Yep.
7:27
So we start instead of connecting on an emotional soul level, we connect on, like,
7:32
highly level, like, highly logistical level is really what we're doing there.
7:36
Yes.
7:36
So so since is this, we have this group, right, where it's like one couple is in it, and
7:43
another couple, you know, another part part of the partnership, the other person, I should say
7:47
one couple, one person in the couple is in it, and one person in the couple realizes there's a
7:52
problem and wants to work at it, and then the other person either doesn't realize they're a
7:58
problem or they're kind of in this other subsect that you talked about around, they
8:02
recognize they're a problem, they're a problem, but they just don't want to do anything about
8:05
it.
8:05
So we have either way where it's like one couple's like, yes, let's work on it.
8:09
The other person's like, no, let's not.
8:12
Where do we start?
8:14
Yeah.
8:14
What you're pointing out is a very common theme that couples don't start at the same point in
8:20
this journey, right?
8:21
And so that raises the question, can one person do something?
8:25
And that's often what people come to me and say, how do you think that one person can do
8:30
that?
8:31
Because it takes two to tango.
8:33
That's what they give me.
8:35
And my response is you're already tangoing.
8:38
It it it may not be going well, but you're already in the dance.
8:42
So I think of a marriage as a system.
8:44
And and so now we get into how how does that happen.
8:48
If a marriage is a system between two people, the interactions between them, if one person
8:53
changes a piece, so if you decide in the tango to change your dance steps, the spouse is
9:00
likely to shift how they do it too.
9:03
Not always, but likely to make a shift because you're changing one piece of that.
9:08
Now the problem is that system has gotten stretched apart.
9:11
And so depending on how far apart that stretch has happened, there there are times and and so
9:18
since I'm the save the marriage guy, people often say, so you think every marriage can be
9:23
saved?
9:23
And I don't.
9:24
I just know there's only one way to find out whether a marriage can be revived, and that is
9:29
by the effort of trying to revive it.
9:31
You can't decide on the front side.
9:34
And so when you one person makes some shifts, it often creates a shift on the other side for
9:40
a core reason that most people underestimate.
9:44
Humans are connectors by nature.
9:46
I mean, we have these deep levels of connection that go beyond probably any other creature.
9:52
I mean, that is why it takes us eighteen ish years to launch a child into the world because
9:59
they're learning everything by connection, by that attachment, by that connection as they
10:04
grow up.
10:05
And because of that deep need for us, we are trying to find that in our lives.
10:12
And so if it's not happening in the marriage, it often is found somewhere else, whether it's
10:18
being over involved with kids or over involved with work or over involved with hobbies and
10:23
friends or somebody else out of the marriage.
10:25
There is that place where people are trying to get that connection.
10:28
But if it comes back to where they wanted it, it eases the pain that's caused by not having
10:34
that.
10:35
There's a lot of research on what happens when humans feel disconnected by somebody that is
10:40
important to them, and it registers in the same pain center in their brain that physical pain
10:45
does.
10:46
So bang my thumb or have a disconnection, same place in the brain is lit up by that and
10:51
they're trying to find a way to mitigate that, to lessen the pain.
10:56
If suddenly there is connection there, it's easy to be drawn back into that, which is why
11:02
one person's actions can often make a difference in in what happens from there.
11:08
So it sounds like, like, would this be a true statement based upon what you're saying is it
11:13
doesn't take two to tango to start to revive the marriage, but it does take two to tango to
11:20
finish reviving the marriage.
11:21
Would you say that's true?
11:24
Yeah.
11:24
So, to to hold on to that tango piece, they're gonna be tango ing.
11:28
At some point, one may say, yep.
11:30
No.
11:30
I'm gonna take my dance somewhere else.
11:32
But, yeah, they're already doing the tango.
11:33
So if one person changes their steps, the other person can come back into the process.
11:39
Ultimately, one person cannot finish saving a marriage.
11:43
It it takes both people to say, this is something we want.
11:47
But if we go from the, hey.
11:49
This is something we need to work on on one hand, and the other person going, what do you
11:52
mean?
11:52
What's wrong?
11:53
It's just a phase.
11:55
And they're still disconnected, and then suddenly there's some connection.
11:58
They begin to be drawn back in.
12:00
And I've watched it where one person was intentional about it.
12:04
The other person never recognized that there was anything going on, and they come back into
12:09
the relationship.
12:10
And and the relationship grows warm again, and there's love there again and warmth there
12:15
because one person was able to start on a low key side of recreating the connection until the
12:22
other person is naturally responding.
12:25
That's not the beginning point.
12:28
That's on into the process, though.
12:31
So it sounds like if one person is changing their dance steps, if we're using the analogy,
12:36
then we're looking then what will make a difference is that other person starts changing
12:41
as well.
12:42
So then my question is how much of those like dance steps, right, how much of that initial
12:47
change from that first person who's saying, okay, well this is great news, you know, I can
12:53
actually do something if my partner's not there, which I think is a huge load off for
12:58
people because it can feel very, like a feeling being trapped if you, like, if one person wants
13:04
to work on it and the other person is not going along with it.
13:09
So how does, like, that how do you, like, guide that one person?
13:13
Like, meaning, are those initial steps of change, are they purely, like, almost, like,
13:19
internal as far as the change?
13:21
Are they it's, a lot of internal work and internal shifts?
13:25
Or are you actually working with that individual to do things that are also more
13:29
externally facing as well?
13:32
I wanted to take a quick break from our podcast to say, did you know that arousal and desire
13:37
are different for women and men?
13:40
Many women think they are no longer interested in sex, for example, because they are waiting
13:46
for their brain to think about having sex when they need to get into their body first.
13:52
So often, we think we are sexually incompatible or there's desire discrepancy simply because we
13:59
do not know the differences in how men's and women's brains are programmed around sex and
14:06
how to work them to our advantage.
14:08
In addition, communication breakdown, busyness, habits, routines, boredom, lack of novelty, and
14:15
so many things drive people to have passion less or less passionate long term relationships
14:24
than they used to have.
14:26
This is fixed And I show you how to do all of this and more in my hot monogamy society.
14:34
You can find links in the show notes below.
14:37
I hope you will join me to discover and explore how to bring passion back.
14:43
And you can do this as a couple, but know that even if it is just one of you that is
14:49
interested in joining us, there's so much magic that can happen, so much change and improvement
14:56
by one person taking the initiative to bring passion back into the relationship.
15:02
Now, let's get back to our episode.
15:05
Actually, it happens both.
15:06
So Yeah.
15:07
I talk about the there are these three c's of of the approach that I I talk about.
15:13
It's connecting, connecting with the spouse, changing, changing yourself.
15:16
So that's the internal part of and and that's not for me to be saying there's something wrong
15:21
with you as much as most people hit a point in life when they realize that they've become
15:26
stagnant.
15:27
And this process is one of going I I've gotta step back into this, and I've gotta show up
15:31
better in the relationship, be more intentional in the relationship, and maybe find some energy
15:37
in my life itself.
15:38
Right?
15:38
Because that stagnation is often where both people just have grown stagnant and the
15:43
relationship is stuck.
15:44
So one person begins to move forward.
15:47
And then the other c is creating.
15:48
So I also have a a belief that marriages that really work, they have created a we.
15:55
Like, we're in this together.
15:56
Not they lose their individual, but that they see themselves as being also an entity separate
16:03
from that.
16:03
Right?
16:04
Like a team.
16:04
We're on in a team.
16:06
And and if you are a good team, both people are trying to show up best to be on that team.
16:11
Right?
16:12
So that's so it's not a we're just a a blob here, but it's a two people forming this entity
16:19
where we see it as us together, and it rolls out in many ways in important things like
16:26
money.
16:27
That's a big one.
16:28
Couples come in fighting about money, and they think their problem is money.
16:31
Their problem is the disconnection that led to them seeing the money as separate.
16:37
What's mine?
16:37
What's yours?
16:38
Rather than what's our resource.
16:41
In reality, in a house, there's resources coming in, resources going out.
16:45
That's it.
16:46
How it's subdivided is a mental picture.
16:49
Now I'm not talking about how you account for the accounts or whatever, checking accounts, or
16:54
that's not it as much as the mindset of is this our resource, or do we hold on to pieces of
17:00
that?
17:00
That's for instance.
17:01
It can be also around kids or religion and politics would be another area.
17:07
In laws and sex is another big place where we see whether it it feels like a we're in this
17:12
together piece.
17:14
Are there questions you ask people?
17:17
Like, is there a common kind of place you take people to determine if they're in it together,
17:22
or is this something that is kind of just like it's very obvious of people?
17:26
Like, do people come in knowing that, I guess, is my question, or is that kind of a shock to
17:30
them more commonly around like, wow.
17:32
I guess we're not on the same team?
17:34
People rarely recognize that coming in.
17:37
In fact, they come in with the symptom, this is our problem, we don't agree on this and we've
17:41
got a problem around that, and that's a symptom of the fact that they're not functioning as a
17:45
we.
17:46
And so it's clear to me.
17:50
It becomes clear to a couple when they have this idea of building a we.
17:54
So when I have the conversation, let's go back to the common of one person coming in.
18:00
When they first start recognizing they haven't been functioning as a team, that is helpful in
18:05
itself.
18:05
Just to go, okay.
18:06
How can I be more of a team?
18:08
And when you're a part of a team, even if the other person is maybe not participating as well
18:13
as you would like, you still continue to play for the end result.
18:17
We're gonna keep trying to win.
18:19
And so that that piece on one person can begin to solve some of the problems.
18:24
So struggles around certain issues, they might be able to identify.
18:29
For instance, when they're struggling over money, just to return to that, and they see it
18:34
as they go, oh, it is our resource.
18:37
It's our thing.
18:39
When the spouse starts kinda pushing, you know, to you versus me to be able to say, hey.
18:44
You know, this is our thing to figure out how we're gonna do this together, changes how
18:49
conversations happen.
18:51
Instead of it being more and more apart, it begins to be a common conversation.
18:56
So that's how, for instance, one person can begin to shape how they work together as a
19:02
team.
19:03
One of the things I see many times is when somebody wants to start, it's like they wanna
19:09
jump all the way back to connection.
19:12
Like, where they were when they hit the pause button, they wanna go all the way back to that.
19:18
And it and the the connection bridge can't hold that.
19:21
It's not sturdy enough.
19:22
And so they have to start at a lower level and begin to build the pieces.
19:27
Can I ask you a question that I think will correlate very well with what you just said
19:32
around like what do a lot of marriage therapists do wrong or what do couples do wrong
19:36
in the beginning?
19:37
But before you answer, I wanna make sure that everybody knows about one of my favorite tools
19:43
for a marriage when sex has started to fall and when it's not part of it anymore, which is
19:49
usually for a lot of different reasons, but a huge one can be a level of erectile
19:53
dysfunction, which is going to affect almost every man if he lives long enough, and a level
19:59
for a female of also a lack of circulation to her genitals, which can lead to things like
20:05
pain and numbness.
20:06
So one of my favorite things are the pump systems, and I love these pumps by Doctor.
20:12
Joel Kaplan, and I like his pumps because a lot of them on the market, they have a suction on
20:17
the bottom and the system will actually cause long term lowering of the blood to the genitals
20:24
versus these pumps are fitted exactly for you so you don't only get the short term benefits
20:30
of blood flow and improving erections and improving vaginal numbness or dryness, but you
20:36
also get the long term effects of actually reversing these things.
20:40
So you can find out more about this company and get discounts and coupon codes in the show
20:45
notes, so please look for that.
20:48
But then to continue on, so from this standpoint, what do you feel like, like is
20:52
there a common thing you see where therapists will kinda go wrong, like a common mistake
20:58
people have like from a leading perspective as a counselor?
21:02
Or are there common mistakes that when couples come into counseling that they do wrong
21:08
oftentimes early in the beginning?
21:10
Do you see any common themes there?
21:12
Yes.
21:13
So, listen, I can name three that I see in that arena.
21:17
The first one is a therapist who is not trained as a couples therapist but sees couples treated
21:25
as two clients in their office rather than the relationship being their client.
21:30
And that makes it very difficult to have conversations about how do you move forward
21:34
because if one person's like, yeah, don't see any hope, that therapist is gonna go, which how
21:39
am I gonna deal with this?
21:40
I've got one who sees hope, one who doesn't, and they often default to the there's no hope.
21:44
And so I often see people say, you know, we were one or two sessions in.
21:49
My spouse said I don't see any hope, and the therapist was like, well, how do we wrap this
21:53
up so that you can leave separately?
21:55
So the orientation question is a big one.
21:58
The second one that is kind of between the couples coming in and the therapist is that we
22:05
have somehow gotten to the point of believing that communication is the problem rather than a
22:10
symptom of the problem.
22:12
I know this because when I was still seeing people as a therapist, I I I did it in a much
22:17
more coaching approach all along, but they would come in and say, you need to give us
22:22
communication skills.
22:23
Teach us communication.
22:24
So I'll just sit there and listen to them for twenty, twenty five, thirty minutes and say,
22:27
you know what's interesting about this?
22:29
I've understood every word you said.
22:31
You've understood every word you said.
22:33
You communicated just fine.
22:35
It's not a communication issue.
22:38
That's what you think it is.
22:39
But communication is just a way of delivering something, information, and it's kinda like
22:45
pipes.
22:46
So if you got them hooked up right, that's great.
22:48
But if you got them hooked up wrong, you're you're communicating the wrong thing.
22:52
And so I would often say if I teach you better communication skills, I'm just making you more
22:56
efficient in fighting.
22:58
That's not where we wanna get to.
23:00
The real question is is the are you communicating connection or disconnection?
23:05
Are you functioning in the connection world or the disc disconnection world?
23:09
So seeing it as a communication problem has been something that both clients bring in and
23:15
therapists default to.
23:17
Now on to the clients.
23:19
The big mistake I see is dragging a spouse into therapy who doesn't want to work on it and
23:26
perhaps doesn't even see a problem at that point.
23:29
What that often leads to is a much more resistant spouse, not one who's willing to work
23:35
on things, but becomes much more resistant to the process.
23:39
And one way of showing resistance is to dig down deep and prove why things can't move
23:44
forward.
23:45
And so not only do they block the process, but they convince themselves that the process is
23:51
even worse than they had had imagined, and the problem in their marriage is even worse than
23:55
they imagined, which therefore then plays out with that whole therapist approach that I
24:00
talked about in the beginning.
24:02
Amazing.
24:03
Yeah.
24:03
That's a really, really good and thorough definition of all of that.
24:08
I really appreciate the orientation of the communication too around, hey, you're talking
24:13
fine.
24:14
Right?
24:14
Like, hear your words.
24:15
I understand what they mean, but are we talking from a standpoint of disconnect or connect?
24:20
And we're gonna talk about that more in part two, you guys.
24:23
We're gonna talk about from Lee's perspective what he has seen around how we can fix things
24:29
early on before they actually lead to problems where we would be even considering things like
24:35
separation or divorce.
24:37
So all of that is gonna be in part two.
24:39
You'll find that in the show notes.
24:40
But before we get into part two, Lee, can you just tell us about a couple of the ways that
24:45
you work with people, what they how you work with them in the unpause your marriage or the
24:50
save your marriage model and a little bit about how how we get ahold of you.
24:54
I'll put all the links for your stuff in the show notes as well.
24:56
Yeah.
24:57
So I just wanna imagine you're you're on a boat.
24:59
Right?
24:59
You're heading down the river, and you're thinking you're on this nice little journey,
25:01
and then you start hearing way off in the distance.
25:05
You start hearing the waterfall, and you're like, yeah.
25:07
We don't wanna go over that waterfall.
25:09
So if it's far enough away, like, you realize that it's chronic, it's off in the distance,
25:13
and you're in that chronic disconnection, I've created an app to help people to get out of
25:19
that pause button marriage, and that is at unpauseyourmarriage.com.
25:24
What I like about an app is it reminds you.
25:26
Right?
25:27
You get in the habits of disconnection, and it actually reminds you twice a day on how to do
25:32
the daily exercises.
25:34
There's there's daily exercises.
25:35
There are trainings.
25:36
There's some assessments in there for for people to figure out where they are.
25:40
But the big thing is we're rebuilding the habits of connection.
25:44
So if you hear the waterfall off in the distance, it's time to turn around and go the
25:49
other way.
25:50
That's at unpauseyourmarriage.com.
25:52
Now if you're on downstream and you hear the crashes of the waterfall and you know that
25:58
you're closer than you wanna be and you actually need to take action, not just a little
26:04
action, but crisis action, that's at saveyour savethemarriage.com because you wanna save your
26:09
marriage.
26:09
So savethemarriage.com is a program to walk you through how, even if you're the only one
26:15
working on it, you can revive the relationship.
26:18
Amazing.
26:19
And then you still work with clients one on one as well, right, in your work?
26:22
I do.
26:23
I do.
26:23
I do.
26:24
And I have a team of coaches who also work with me to use those approaches to help people.
26:28
And then do people find that work at those links as well?
26:32
Yes.
26:33
Savethemarriage.com has links to my books, to the podcast, and also how you can get coaching
26:39
there.
26:39
Okay.
26:40
Beautiful.
26:40
So, yes, everybody, we will have that in the show notes as well as how to get part two of
26:44
this episode where, again, we're gonna talk about how to communicate, how to communicate in
26:49
a way where you're creating more of that connection versus the disconnection, like Lee
26:53
mentioned, and really how to recognize and start working on these things before you get to
26:59
the point where now it's in a the relationship is in a more serious type of place.
27:05
So all of that to come in part two.
27:08
Please do subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes and I will see you all again
27:13
real soon.
27:13
Thanks for tuning in to the lounge.
27:18
Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
27:20
Please don't keep me a secret.
27:22
Please share this with your friends.
27:24
You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as well as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.