Latest / UNCOACHED / ADHD, Anxiety, and Youth Sports: How Parents and Coaches Can Help Young Athletes Thrive
Transcript
- Brad: Welcome to Uncoached, a podcast for volunteer coaches and parents figuring out youth sports as we go. Each episode, we keep things simple, five questions to talk about practical insights you can actually use with your athletes. Today's guest is Dr. Kerry Heller. We'll talk about everything from pre-game anxiety and recognizing the signs of ADHD, to simple ways parents and volunteer coaches can help kids stay focused, confident, and enjoy the game a little bit more. Kerry, I'm so excited to have you on today. This is something that's near and dear to my heart that we'll get into here in a little while, but please just give me a little bit of your background. Like what, you're in this you've got opportunity out there in, in the social media, and you're giving out information trying to help folks understand ADHD, and I think it's it's something that's not talked about enough. So give me a little bit of information. Carey Heller: I've been interested in being a psychologist since middle school. Just my experience, like, seeing how kids treat each other at the middle school age, which I know can be a tough age, got me interested in the field. Fast-forward obviously many years later, I focus on and specialize in ADHD for a really long time. I think the sports piece is always something... I love sports, and I think I have often... one of the things that just stood out to me in working a lot with kids with ADHD is there's this pattern that I see a lot of kids that basically really had a hard time with team sports. So they basically would maybe try it a little bit when they're, kindergarten, first grade, and really just they just, not necessarily because they don't like the sport, because of other factors, really just didn't stick with it and had a hard time, even when they really loved a sport. And so I think that stood out to me as, I think there's a lot people can do to help with, kids with ADHD, just really support them in team sports to really help them to thrive. So I think that got me more focused on that. And then I guess I've really last couple of years, I've really got... Since I do a lot of sports coaching in terms of rec basketball and baseball teams, I've, seen a, a lot of real-world experience with it and seeing what works and what doesn't. And just also recognizing the value that ki- that kids get in ter- just not just with ADHD, but in general i- in terms of, having a supportive environment and, having stuff set up in a way, 'cause just there are lots of little things you can do that really make a huge difference in a team thriving and, kids thriving in sports. Brad: agree wholeheartedly. And so often there's so much, there's an intense environment. The- there's a lot of pressure on kids being placed on them from just a variety of different things. Just competition in general can be pressure, and I think, what you're doing trying to help coaches and parents help youth athletes regulate this and help recognize it, I think is such a worthwhile thing because it's, something that, that, There's kids out there that really need this help to be able to participate in team sports. Carey Heller: Absolutely Brad: and I mentioned earlier, so it is extremely near and dear to my heart and I'll tell you why. So I have a son who's 10, and he's been diagnosed as neurodivergent, so we have some, behavior stuff that, that we're working with and through with him. But I also have multiple athletes on both the soccer and baseball team that I coach that are... have been diagnosed ADHD. and I also have some athletes that are not diagnosed, but I can tell that there's a little bit of ADHD going on there, right? There's some there's some things that, you know, the way that they respond to, things that pop up in a game, a soccer call not going their way or things like that, or striking out, that I can tell that they've got some of these issues even though they're not diagnosed. And I just think this conversation's gonna go such a long way towards helping, coaches and parents, one, identify what these kids are going through, and two, best ways that you can help handle these situations. Because I know firsthand how difficult it can get sometimes with the behavior that's happening as a result of ADHD or neurodivergence or things like that. So anyway, just a little bit of background of, why I- I'm personally invested in this conversation beyond just helping other parents and coaches. But sometimes a lot of people will mistake ADHD behaviors for laziness or lack of effort or simply, they're not paying attention, they're messing around. But, maybe you could help identify some common signs of ADHD that adults should be looking for or might notice in a sports setting, and then what are some misconceptions that often lead us to interpret those behaviors probably incorrectly? Carey Heller: Sure, absolutely. And I think that's such an important point that you just made with the idea that a lot of times when k- kids have ADHD, oftentimes a coach or parent will look, from the sidelines or in general and think, "Oh, this, this ki- child just, they're not focusing 'cause they don't wanna be here. They don't, they're not having fun. They're not enjoying it." And the hard part is a lot of times it's not actually true, but if they have a hard time with focus or other things, that can it can create that, that perception, and then that creates sort of a negative dynamic sometimes where the coach may think, "Oh, this child's not interested, so maybe I'm not gonna give them quite as much attention because they don't really seem that they want to be here." But I think in terms of signs of what to look for, there, there are a couple of things. And again, ADHD can present differently, but I would say some of the things to really look for are if you have a child who oftentimes, if you give multi-step directions, misses, a part of the directions, or during practice has an especially hard time understanding what to do when you explain drills, or activities. The id- the child that's, asking a million questions after or standing there 'cause they really have no idea what to do. I think that certainly can be a sign. I think a child, in the middle of a game that just is often, like, losing focus and in basketball for example, has no idea who they're supposed to be guarding, or, in baseball, basically the ball comes right to them and they're not paying attention and miss the ball because they're not even looking at where, the batter or something if they're in the field. Like little thi- or, the, the batter that are, that basically they're on a base and they forget to run to the next base 'cause they're not paying attention, don't realize that someone has hit the ball. A lot of common kind of things with attention. That's probably the biggest thing. But again, the direction piece is also, can be quite common. Or also the, the fru- frustration tolerance. Again, people, kids can have issues with fru- frustration besides due to ADHD, the ki- kid loses it when they strike out in baseball, or they just get so overwhelmed by emotions and, the competitiveness sometimes that they just, they can't function, they can't regroup easily. Brad: A-and I think, the hard part is when you've got s-some signs of AD- ADHD happening versus when a kid really is just messing around, when they shouldn't be. I think there is times when kids, tend to not pay attention to our coach, and it's nothing related to ADHD. But that's the hard part as a coach because I feel, don't feel like even as a coach I've done an exceptional job with some of these kids. I try to be patient, and the things that you're saying here resonate really well because it's, the number of questions, or if it's a drill that's too complicated and they're kinda shutting down, and, you see that. And so you have to realize that almost in real time that maybe you should pare that drill down into smaller steps or maybe focus on one thing instead of, hey, there's three stages to this drill or whatever you're trying to do. And so what you're saying really resonates with me, and I appreciate you walking through that. Carey Heller: Oh, absolutely. I think one of the biggest things just from what you're saying is also really helpful for people to think about is this idea as a coach of taking a step back and thinking about what's working and what's not. 'Cause sometimes little tweaks can actually make a huge difference. So one of the things I found really helpful with basketball, for example, is, to avoid kids, s- dribbling the basketball anytime there's any gap between activities, and then having to kinda get everyone back for the next activity, collect all the balls when practice starts, and then they don't have the balls and until it's time to use them, and they bring the ball bag back out, and then no one's tripping over the balls. 'Cause again, it's this idea if you look at if something's not working, try to figure out why. Play detective. Figure out why, and if you can have a... Or even another thing I found helpful over the years is, especially with young kids, sometimes stretching. Instead of s- stretching in a circle, if the kids can't stay, s- in a circle, do it on a line because then this way they have a concrete sort of place that they're trying to aim to be in. Or do it, let's say baseball along, let's say, the first baseline, and then when they need the fence for stretches, the fence is right there Brad: That's great. And I know we're talking about this already, but let's say you walked onto a practice field with a volunteer coach, a new coach, a current coach, and they've got several athletes with ADHD. What are two or three simple changes you might recommend that they do that could immediately help those kids? Carey Heller: Sure. There are a couple of things. One would be keep verbal instructions really short. Especially for younger kids, even if there is not ADHD, kids are not gonna sit there paying full attention if you're taking five minutes to explain, plus you're losing a lot of practice time to have really long explanations. So I would say for kids with ADHD in particular, keep the instructions short, try to keep as much visual as you can in terms of, using kids to demonstrate what to do. Even sometimes, having a whiteboard out where you either draw it out or have all the pictures preset and just hold up the picture saying, "This is the activity," and then have a visual cue of each step. That can be very, can be helpful. Again that visual cue is really helpful. Also keeping activities moving. One of the things that, I think classic kind of classic sort of a practice would be, a bunch of kids standing in line waiting their turn for something. The problem is kids with ADHD, and even kids without ADHD, they mess around, they're bored, they're not staying engaged if they have to wait so long for their turn. The more you can structure practice in a way where kids are moving the whole time and they're not waiting their turn for stuff keeps them better engaged. So those would be a, a couple of the big things I think could be very helpful Brad: No, that's really good. And I f- I've found with some of these athletes, even in a game setting, rather than giving them something broad to focus on for example, in soccer, if you're a midfielder where I want you to cover the middle of the field and when we're on offense, I want you to get in the play and try to shoot the ball. On corner kicks, I want you to do this. On defense, I need you to be here. It's instead focusing and giving them kind of one assignment for that game so that th- that's the one focus area that they've got instead of, three, four, five different things that, that they might have. And I've found a little bit of success with that with some of these athletes. And I don't know, if- is that... It sounds like it- it's in line with what you're recommending there, but just keeping that focus a little bit smaller Carey Heller: Yeah, no, that makes perfect sense because for kids in general, it's hard to keep a lot on their mind, and if they have several things they're trying to work on and trying to remember it all, it's hard to do anything. So having that, one or two kind of key things that they... Or maybe one thing on offense, one thing on defense, for baseball, maybe one or two things with batting and one thing in the field, having that in mind and reminding of it, them of it, and also in some cases even writing it on a whiteboard where it, let's say in baseball it's in the dugout or it's on the sideline in soccer, so they can continually refer to it throughout the game. so I think that can be really helpful. And, another probably one of my favorite things with, thinking about kids in the outfield in baseball that, you know, especially when kids are younger, the balls don't really go there that much. It's very hard to stay focused. One of my favorite things is the p- the, what I like to call the pop-fly shuffle. Basically, you have the kids in the outfield kind of, get in position as if they're gonna catch a pop fly, and then they take two steps to the right, two steps to the left. And so the idea is that you can either have all the outfielders do it at once. You can y- yell pop-fly shuffle, and then they all do it, or just really over time kids learn to do it themselves. So if they realize they're starting to lose focus in the outfield, they do it themselves, and then it keeps them more engaged 'cause it gives them a physical movement to do to keep them more alert Brad: I like that one a lot. It keeps it a little bit fun too, right? They're out there bored to death 'cause fly balls aren't coming out their way, but it gives them, a little bit something to pay attention to when coach yells out, "Hey, pop fly shuffle," and, Carey Heller: exactly. Yeah, and some kids can really get into it and have fun with it. So yeah, I think it keeps things lively too Brad: Yeah, absolutely. so many times I think dealing with youth athletes in general, there's a lot of high emotions going on. But I think when you add into the mix kids that might have high anxiety or dealing with ADHD and they struggle after a mistake was made, or they start feeling frustrated because things maybe aren't going the way that they see it in their mind. What are some practical ways that parents and coaches help them get reset and get them back into the game or back into the moment instead of spiraling out? Carey Heller: Sure, there are a couple of things. So in general, having one or two concrete strategies that the child can use and like they know about ahead of time can be very helpful for when they need to reset. 'Cause the problem is in the moment, it's really hard for kids in general to c- and even for adults too sometimes, to remember and then actively use a strategy if it takes any amount of work to really use. So for example, a couple of ideas would be having like a physical movement to say, like I don't know, like brushing off saying, mistake, I'm done." Like something to brush it off, like just that like psychological piece of, I made a mistake, like I don't know, they missed a basket and they have to like to, brush it off and move on. Same thing, striking out in baseball. If it's a situation like striking out in baseball where you have a little bit of a break then before you have to do anything, even using a hand fidget on the sideline can be a great way to decompress. If they need a little bit of kind of physical movement to take their mind off of what's going on, just, having a bunch of hand fidgets, on the bench, and then, kids can play with them and fiddle with them if they need to decompress, or kids can bring their own, could be another way to to reset. Breathing can also be very helpful. Like just something as simple as, taking three deep breaths in and out, or you could, introduce box breathing to your team. I think some kids are gonna be very receptive to trying it. I think framing it to kids as, these are things that professional athletes use, for some kids will go a long way towards being willing to try it, others maybe not as much, but Brad: For sure. And I think what I hear you saying is ha- have a plan going in. Because as I'm sitting here having this conversation with you, I'm thinking about some kids again on, on my soccer team, but they'll get so frustrated and emotional if, they get tripped up by another player and the ref doesn't make a call, right? It's this idea of a lot of these, a lot of these kids like structure and they like the rules of the game, and if something goes outside of the rules of the game, then all of a sudden it becomes like this, this really big deal. They don't have that understanding yet that sometimes the rules aren't fair and sometimes people miss things, right? And I don't think there's a lot of, that consideration going on in a young mind like that. And I've got players that will just get so emotionally frustrated, almost to the point of tears in the game. And it's really hard in that game environment 'cause it's so fast-paced to slow things down enough to get them to realize, we need to have this reset. So a couple things that I hear you saying is, let's plan this out in advance so that we're well aw- you as the coach, you as the parent, you as the athlete are well aware before you get to that point about what you need to do to help regulate things down. And then secondly, I'd love your opinion on this, but it's and I've done this before, but it's just giving them a break and pulling them out of the game and letting them sit and almost... And I don't know if this is good or bad, but I'll just not talk to them for a minute and let them calm down, get a drink of water, and then go talk to them. I'd love your thoughts on some of this as well. Carey Heller: Sure. I think while, each child is, is different, generally I think that's a really good strategy. 'Cause the problem is if you try to talk to a child when they're that revved up, it's probably not gonna be very helpful, and it may get them even more revved up. So oftentimes just giving kids a few minutes to decompress on their own, it's the, you, I'm sure you see this online talks about the car ride home, there's various social media posts and things like that, that the idea that in general you don't wanna start, going, getting into the game with your child if they're, really upset after the game. You wanna give them that space. So kinda the same way, give them a few minutes on their own to kinda cool off and then go and talk to them. But, I also think it's the one other thing I would also think about in this situation is that, it may also depend, who is the one that goes and talks to them. If they have a particular coach that they're especially close with, if it's feasible, having that coach go and talk to them may be good. Or there's some cases where, if, you're coaching your own kid's team, have one of the other coaches go talk to your kid instead of you, 'cause sometimes when it's not the parent it can go over better Brad: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I love that, 'cause I, I do have... So me and my assistant coach, we both have kids on the team, and we'll almost talk to each other's kids instead of our own if a situation like that comes up just for that very reason, where it's like, sometimes they don't want a mom or dad talking to them in that moment. They need somebody else. And it's also different, know, what I've run into is, like for my son if he has a problem, I can give him a hug, and we can have that kind of dad-son moment. but it's not the same for other kids, 'cause you just don't walk around hugging other people's kids, it's not that same type of of nurturing moment. And so it's it's, it just gets a little bit tough. And you're absolutely right. Every individual kid has a set of needs, and I think that's an important point to make for coaches as well, is, understand your players on an individual basis. They're not all the same, and you're gonna have a different approach to many of these kids. Carey Heller: Right. And I think it also brings up the point that, in really valuing the relationship with each player separately, the idea that going out of your way to really get to know players, not just, how do they do in the sport. But one of the things I often find helpful is, when a, 'cause players don't usually come at the same time, for practice, is I often recommend, when a player comes to practice, make a point of walking over and saying hi, asking how their week's going. Asking what's, what they're up to or if, you know that, oh, they were going on some sort of trip or had some particular project they work on in school, ask them how did it go? How was the trip? Because, it shows interest, and then building up that rapport with kids can go a long way towards being able to support them more, when they need you, during a game or practice if there's an issue Brad: Yeah, I think that's a, a important point and it's a piece of downtime where you should take the time to do that with your team. So let's say you've got parents who are raising an athlete with ADHD, I think probably have a, have an understanding of this, maybe they don't, but maybe some of the things we're talking about here too, there's other parents realizing maybe my kid has a touch of ADHD. Right? And then you've got this precious mind that you're trying to form as they navigate youth athletics. What's one piece of advice you'd give parents as they're raising ADHD athletes what do those kids need to hear and experience most from the adults that are supporting them? Carey Heller: I think above all, I think they need support a- and not another lecture. Because I think that, there's a lot of times kids with ADHD often get cor- there's various stats of how many times they get corrected by the time they're age, 10 or something like that. But the idea is that because they're constantly getting corrected in a lot of ways, that can really boo- impact self-esteem. They really need parents that are supportive to them and, aren't gonna, harp on every little thing. Brad: That's tremendous. Carey Heller: so I think... Hey, so yeah, 'cause I think that's such a important thing, but also recognizing that even with let's say practicing outside of a formal practice, that there are a lot of kids with ADHD that may have an interest in it, but they don't really know how to execute it. It's a fine balance 'cause you want kids to be self-motivated to wanna practice and, and have fun playing it just for fun outside of the organized activity part. But the idea of, helping kids so if they, if you see your child that, they seem interested in this but they don't really know how to do it, offer, "Let's go play catch," or, "Let's go kick a soccer ball around." It can be informal. Or, if there's someone that sort of is motivated and wants more of a formal, practice plan, help sit down and work, make a plan with them, and then work on how do we execute that? With the idea that if as long as it's something that they're driving ultimately and you're not forcing them to do it, that, then it can really help them to execute the things they wanna be doing but other- but would have a hard time with. Brad: For sure. And I think it's great common practice for every coach out there to try to give every athlete on their team some type of activity that they can do away from the do away from the team, and take the time to describe what that activity actually looks like. Don't make it over complicated, but give them one to two things that they could probably work on in between that structure of a practice. Carey Heller: Yeah, no, absolutely. And I think also in the off-season's also a good time. I do think about that because... And again, obviously as kids get older, if they're very serious in a sport, there's far less of an off-season. But, I think, when you have certain sports, especially baseball where, in most parts of the country you can't really play all year round anyway, that, I think having, a clear plan of, here are things you could do on your own. And it's also beneficial when things don't, when you have stuff you can do that is unlikely to break something at home. Brad: Yeah, for sure. Carey Heller: like one of my favorite things for baseball are, which I think I have some here, the like the foam balls. Because these are great for basically, in a lot Like in terms of the indoor use for things or, it's good for just b- working on kind of the, squeezing a glove with it and There's a lot of... Or, for young kids catching pop flies. So there's a lot of like different things you can do with it. But I think, so I think that's one idea. With basketball and other sports too, even just, having a kid dribble a basket- you know, a foam basketball around the house Like something like the... I have fun with this stuff too. Brad: Ah, nice. Yeah. Carey Heller: It can really help 'cause it allows them to, even while they're watching TV, or something like that, it just, gives them something to do. They can get some practice in. And it, again, it makes this fun and it's natural. It's not a, "Oh, I feel forced to do it." 'Cause the problem is if kids feel very forced to do it, they're far less likely to stick with a sport and develop, and they're not, they're less likely to develop their own internal motivation to wanna excel at a sport. Brad: Yeah, and pro tip to parents, those foam basketballs and foam soccer balls man, they're, they are quiet, and so it's gonna save a lot of sanity in the house too because if they're wanting to do this in the house and they're bouncing a regular ball, obviously that's gonna drive you crazy with that sound. But these, those foam balls really, they work well. We've got one that my son uses it and loves it. So that's great tip. Great tip. I don't know if there's, And you might tell me this is wrong. I don't know if there's an exact tie between ADHD and anxiety because I think anxiety ag- anxiety obviously exists for all of us, but I think every athlete probably gets a little bit nervous before a game at some point or during a game. how can parents and coaches tell the difference between healthy pre-game nerves and some anxiety that's really holding a kid back from their true opportunity, and what are some things we can do to help them? Carey Heller: It's definitely a really good question and an important point. I think one thing to keep in mind with the idea of anxiety is that, to a certain, up to a certain point, a little bit of anxiety at a low level can improve motivation because it shows that a child cares about something. That if they really didn't care at all about something, they pr- are probably far less likely to be anxious. But, at the same time, when it gets to a point where it's really uncomfortable or it actually impedes the, how they're doing, that's where then it, definitely becomes a problem. if they're anxious for, like, all week about a, a game, again, maybe if it's the championship or something, that's one thing, but if they're super anxious the entire week going into every, before every single game, that's often a sign that there's a concern. If, maybe they feel a tiny bit anxious right before they leave or right before the game starts, that's probably within the realm of normalcy. But I think it depends on the level of severity. If they're having really bad stomach aches or any other sort of physical issue from it, then it's often a sign that you probably wanna a- address it 'cause it's not comfortable for them, and, it can create other issues. Or if they're so anxious during a game that they're not functioning. Certainly, like batting in baseball is a good example, where a lot of kids get really anxious when they're batting. And, for some kids it keeps them more alert to a certain degree. But for a lot of kids, if they're so anxious they can't focus effectively, and so then they don't hit the ball. Especially if you notice a big change. if at one point they were doing really well and then suddenly they, get in their head and they, basically have so much running through their head that they're, constantly striking out when they rarely did before, that's often a sign that there's anxiety, that's getting in the way Brad: Yeah, and I, personal experiences, I had a little girl on my daughter's soccer team. She would get very almost scared, she would cry before every game. We just really couldn't figure out what, what was going on. I think she was just scared of the competitive moment of that game because once she actually overcame that, her dad would come over and try to soothe her, and then we would put her o- on the field 'cause she'd wanna play, and then once she started playing, it's like everything went away and she was just rocking and rolling out there just playing her heart out and doing a great job. Do you have any tips or tricks we can do with kids that are these signs of high anxiety in the moment that we can do to try and help calm them? Carey Heller: I think there are a couple things. One thing they can sometimes do is actually make it a team activity, where you don't draw attention to that one person seems really anxious, but, as part of, let's say, pre-game stretching, do a meditation or mindfulness activity where, maybe you do deep breathing for a minute or 30 seconds or, I don't know, you do some sort of visualization activity where... and there are a bunch of ones you can find online or use an app with. But basically, something like a minute or less, where you just, have them take a few deep breaths in and out or, close their eyes and visualize something that, makes them happy or something about the game. 'Cause then you can in a subtle way, teach all the kids, a strategy or two to use that they could also use on their own without singling anyone out. In general though, if you have kids that are particularly anxious, either talking with them directly or maybe with the parents and saying, it seems like is get- seems very anxious before games. Is there anything that you've tried at home or for other things that's been helpful to get their..." 'Cause that's where having the parent communication is really crucial, and then also planning ahead. So if you know that always gets anxious, think about what could you do to make this better? So for example, maybe it's, let's say you have a kid that gets really anxious about practice. Then maybe when they first get there, you go over and say hi, and maybe you give them a task to do. So maybe you have them set up cones for an ac- for the first activity or something like that. And then, and so it basically keeps them busy, and so they're less likely to be anxious, 'cause then they're in the middle of something. 'Cause for some kids, especially with ADHD, it's often the transition times that can be the most challenging. So in practice, like going from one activity to the next, or in a game, transitioning from, being on the bench to playing or, some, depending on the sport, what- whatever. But that's where I think it can be very helpful, basically giving them a concrete task to do so it, it occupies their mind and makes the transition a little bit easier. Brad: Yeah, no I really like that a lot. You- and then earlier you talked about, baseball and hitting being a high anxiety time. I face that, with my son. I don't coach this particular team, and so he was super anxious when he was batting. And then you also mentioned this conversation, this communication between parent and kid. What we tried is, from the stands, he'd look up and have a little bit of sign language where I'd, tap my chest a little bit, and we had determined before the game, hey, this means, be brave, I love you, matter what happens, we're all proud of you. But it's just this simple movement of kind of a sign language thing where he sees this, and I think it helped calm his nerves down. So your point of, the parent communication to the child I think is excellent. And that's just my, my personal tip to anyone that's listening as well, is maybe have a little bit of sign language to your child so you don't have to yell out this stuff in front of everybody, but you can do something slightly sign language-esque and get your message across Carey Heller: Yeah. No, I think that's a really great strategy, and I'm glad that it's been helpful. I think you could even extend that idea, so if you're the coach to other kids, like especially if there are kids that need to redirect behavior, to instead of singling them out and saying something, create a signal with them. As long as the kids are able to see the signal and pay attention to it, then that may help them to recognize, oh, I need to stop doing this. If you talk to them and you come up with it, so this way you're not constantly saying it, like if you're talking as a whole team and you have a certain child that, is running around or constantly talking and interrupting, that then it creates a nice signal to use that's more discreet than constantly saying, Johnny stop that." Brad: It's gonna save everybody's sanity a little bit too, so that's great. Carey Heller: Yeah. I, yeah, and I think also with communication with parents, the other key thing is when we're thinking about ADHD, obviously be- because of how ADHD works, there's a lot, not always, but a lot of times parents have a lot of the sa- same challenges as their kids. So in thinking about communication, with parents around schedules and thinking about how you can be as organized as possible as a coach can really go a long way. So in terms of, having a very set system for, conveying when the games are, having frequent reminders, but figuring out how does each person actually pay... 'Cause even if you put stuff in an app, doesn't mean that all the parents even have access to the app or are gonna check the app. So you really want- so sometimes having multiple methods of communication that are easier for people to see can go a long way towards limiting issues of, kids forgetting to RSVP, or kids forgetting to tell you when they can't come, or parents missing the game because they forgot about, they got the time wrong Brad: Yeah, no I'm taking notes here 'cause I get caught up in just the app communication and forget about other modes of making sure people are informed. So I'm personally taking notes on that one as well Carey Heller: One of the things that I've found helpful is to basically have, use an app like TeamSnap, for example, as, where you have kind of the schedule and everything, and then have a Google Group so basically you can send ... but have the consistency. So send a weekly email at the exact same time that, we You can use a template for a lot of it. But by not just having it be an automated reminder, people pay attention more. A lot of times when it's an automated reminder, people kind of glance at it, but don't actually process it as much. So by sending some sort of email, we can put, whatever is different about the week in an email, and then also sending reminders through TeamSnap or whatever app you're using and, having the schedule somewhere, it then makes it easier for people to pay attention to it. And if you get some people that are good with email, they see the email. If there's some people that are just good with the app, they see a notification from the app. Or ... But sometimes by sending multiple ones like that, even though it's, in theory, redundant, you end up capturing, everyone, since not everyone is good at, checking different things Brad: Yeah, absolutely. I wanna slip in a, a bonus topic if that's okay with you. And I just, I want you to put yourself in the shoes of our listeners, and if there's a coach out there that's listening right now who, who maybe he just found out or she found out that one of their players has ADHD, what's the first thing that you hope that coach understands before they step back onto the field with that player? Carey Heller: I think the first thing to understand is that you wanna understand how are they processing things? What, what's going on for them? Because kinda like this idea, you could have a child let's use baseball as an example. You have a child who, I don't know, is digging in the dirt and not really paying attention very much, and, it could be that they don't care and don't wanna be there, but, if they have ADHD, there's a good chance that they really have a hard time focusing, and the second that you stop ta- talk- or having them do something active and they're waiting around, they're gonna lose focus. So having a clear plan of how can you help this child in terms of supporting them. So whether it's, in the field having them, walking around to them and having them count the number of pitches until the batter either hits the ball or strikes out, like something tangible that basically forces them to have their attention in the right direction. Brad: And then I think with practices, also really while you obviously can't fully cater to every single child, I think, a lot of times the, really the, the bottom line is most strategies you would use to help kids with ADHD in practice are really beneficial to all kids. Carey Heller: So just take the extra mi- go an extra mile to figure out, "How can I support, X, Y, and Z child with ADHD, and in turn probably support the whole team better?" Brad: Yep, Carey Heller: and that's where really plan- planning ahead really is crucial 'cause you can't... obviously there are coaches, I'm sure, that wing it with showing up and thinking, "Oh, we'll do this activity or that activity," but the structure is really crucial. And also, even the idea for some of the ADHD sometimes, being able to know ahead of time what to expect. So if you know what the practice plan is ahead of time, you can even send it to parents weekly, and then this way they can review it with their child. So if their child does especially well know- going over directions ahead of time, the child's gonna have a much clearer sense of what to do when they get to practice, and so there's like, less likely to be issues if they don't, 'cause they'll understand better what to do. Brad: that's all the time I think we have for the topics that we've got. I think we could probably dive a lot deeper into some of these things, but I greatly appreciate the insights that you've shared already. I know you've helped me as a coach, as a parent. I really hope that others listening are gonna find the value in, in the conversation that I did. So I, genuinely thank you for your time. Where can people learn more about you, hear more from you? Help give me some, some information about where people can find you Carey Heller: Absolutely. Yeah, and thank you for having me. It's been a lot of fun chatting and hope it's helpful to those of you listening. I do a fair amount online, so you can find me on Instagram at coachcaryadhdsports, as well as on YouTube. There's a Linktree link in, on my Instagram account. There's a bunch of free resources you can download. There's a practice planner. It's free. You can download an on-demand course. I do a, write a bunch of articles for magazines on this topic. So you can definitely, see all of that online, and, hopefully the resources are helpful to you in supporting your child with ADHD. Or, I also have my practice hellerpsychology.com is, where I work directly when I'm not on the field or in the, or on the course. Brad: Yeah, for sure. And you've got a, you've also got a podcast, correct? Carey Heller: I have a podcast as well, Being the Best Version of Yourself Brad: Perfect. So I, again, encourage everyone to find uh, uh, Dr. Heller out there and utilize some of his resources. He's got great insights to help pretty much any parent out there that's got a kid in youth sports. So if this episode helped you, share it with another coach or parent who's figuring it out, too. You can find Uncoached and this episode wherever you listen to podcasts. You can watch the episode on YouTube, and make sure to follow The Coaching Dad on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook. We'll see you next time on Uncoached.