Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Healing Beyond Medicine: Touchology and the Power of Listening with Njideka Olatunde

Transcript

Healing Beyond Medicine: Touchology and the Power of Listening with Njideka Olatunde · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

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  We got to understand that each and every day when we wake up,
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  we are students, which means that you're going to get a new
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  lesson every day. You're given a lesson, and as a
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  student, it is your job to learn the lesson.
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  Now, it doesn't mean you're going to learn it every day.
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  It doesn't mean that you're going to even understand it
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  every day, but until you understand it and until you
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  learn it, you'll keep going through that lesson.
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  But don't be hard on yourself because it's for you.
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  It's for your growth and development.
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  Life is a lesson. Be a humble student and no
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  matter how hard it is, no matter how bad it may look, the one
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  thing I do is I give thanks. I'm thankful for this moment,
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  I'm thankful for the spirit. And by doing that, that kind of
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  gives me the cushion to be able to move forward through it no
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  matter what it is. Hello field podcast audience,
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  welcome back today. So happy to have you here.
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  I'm your host, Melissa Crook. I've got a new friend here with
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  me today that I got to reach out on her behalf through our
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  contact forum on our website. It's a great source that we have
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  if you're interested in working with us.
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  That's how the reach out kind of came through e-mail through that
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  Channel. And I have a really, really
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  fascinating woman here today with me that is working with
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  women on their health and a really the way that we're
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  starting to hear more about. But I just think it's so
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  important for women to know all the resources that are out there
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  and available to them. And I'm going to get to
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  introduce Angedika here today through her story and her why
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  and her values and how she got to this place in space today
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  where she decided that she only knew how to help herself, but
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  she wanted to help other women as well in this process.
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  She describes herself as an evolving butterfly.
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  I love that visual so much. Andrew Deegan, Welcome to the
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  Field podcast. Thank you my dear for having me.
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  Looking forward to sharing your information.
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  Absolutely looking forward to hearing about it.
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  OK talk to me about prioritizing self-care in your life and your
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  journey with that. This can be a real difficult
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  area for women and it's we get a lot of scripts and narratives
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  when we're younger. About what what is selfish, what
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  is not how we're supposed to show up in the world and not
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  really realizing or hearing that if you don't fill your cup on a
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  regular basis, you're not going to be good for anyone,
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  especially yourself. So.
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  So talk to me about your journey.
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  With self-care, prioritizing for self health care, that's an
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  excellent question because we don't take a lot of time to
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  focus on healing ourselves because to heal has to come from
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  within. We are our own healers.
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  And so when I think about prioritizing, if I had to like
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  really focus on one specific example of how I prioritize
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  myself, it's been through life's lessons.
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  And when I say life lessons, what I've learned now is not to
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  get caught up in what my eyes are seeing because a lot of
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  times that's not real. And I say that from the
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  standpoint we're bombarded with so much information 24/7, and
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  the information that's being shared to us or presented to us,
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  it's not always good. Yeah.
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  And because it's not always good, we start internalizing
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  what we're hearing and what we're seeing.
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  And that prevents us from tapping into who we are and what
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  we need. So I would say prior to the
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  first is disconnecting myself from which I tell everybody, the
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  only way I know about the news is that somebody tells me I
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  don't look at the news. I, I don't look at any of that.
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  So I don't even know what's going on be and I do that
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  purposely because I'm not connected to it and it's not
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  connected to me. So I say if you're going to do
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  it, like be very conscious and be very careful of what you're
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  looking at, what you're hearing, as well as what you're saying.
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  Yeah, that's very discerning because when you get this
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  onslaught, I mean, it's the plus and minus in the world that we
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  live in today of everything being available at our
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  fingertips. And then you're just getting
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  this onslaught of information and all of its claiming to be
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  the truth. But there's there's always
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  multiple sides to it. It's there's it's very
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  subjective. It's very tainted by a lot of
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  other influences. And so trying to determine what
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  actually I've become very mindful of, I have some
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  identified sources that I look to that I trust that I vetted
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  myself because the onslaught is just too much.
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  It's too much like exactly. It's too much for my mental
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  health. It's too much for my emotional
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  health. It starts impacting me in ways
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  that aren't healthy for me. And so I love that like that
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  mindfulness piece of, of being knowing what is good and
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  discerning and getting rid of the rest.
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  Because we don't have to take in everything all the time, and
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  it's not good for us to take in everything all the time.
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  And I'm going to tell you, I'll share this with with your
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  listeners to tell you where I am officially located.
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  I am in what I have labeled as stress Capital, USAAKA,
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  Washington, DC. And so being in this environment
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  has taught me a lot of things as it relates to myself care,
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  because this is stress capital. I mean, we know we are fast 24/7
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  with negativity. And I hate to say that, but
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  that's yeah, the energy force. And because that's what it is.
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  And I realized that for my emotional, physical, mental and
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  spiritual health, I have to put the barriers up in terms of what
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  I'm going to receive. And like you say, for me, it's
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  very important that I have what I call the Ying, the yank Yang,
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  the yes, the no, the positive to negative.
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  Everything comes in twos. I need both sides.
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  That way I can decide, yeah, I choose what's going to be in my
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  best interest because I have information that I can compare
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  and say, OK, this makes sense, but this doesn't.
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  Yeah, I can apply this, but I can't apply that.
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  And that keeps me grounded. Thank you for that, that's such
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  good insight and so smart and really goes nicely into
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  confidently setting boundaries. You have placed some very
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  mindful boundaries around this, how you will take it in and then
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  trusting yourself. We have some so many times
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  forgotten or been told not to trust ourselves, especially as
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  women, not to trust our intuition.
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  Trust that intuition, trust that sense.
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  Listen to your body. It's sending you messages all
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  the time of what is connecting with you and what is not.
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  And I think so. Talk to me about that.
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  When did you come to this realization that this was
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  necessary for you? And to, to add to that which you
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  so eloquently presented, we've got to understand that each and
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  every day when we wake up, we are students, which means that
• 8:45
  you're going to get a new lesson.
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  Every day you're given a lesson and as a student, it is your job
• 8:53
  to learn the lesson. Now, it doesn't mean you're
• 8:56
  going to learn it every day. It doesn't mean that you're
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  going to even understand it every day.
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  But until you understand it and until you learn it, you'll keep
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  going through that lesson. But don't be hard on yourself
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  because it's for you. It's for your growth and
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  development. Life is a lesson.
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  Be a humble student and no matter how hard it is, no matter
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  how bad it may look, the one thing I do is I give thanks.
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  I'm thankful for this moment, I'm thankful for the spirit.
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  And by doing that, that kind of gives me the cushion to be able
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  to move forward through it no matter what it is.
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  Yeah, yeah, such good advice there.
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  Thank you so much for that. So talk to me about you are
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  you've gone on a very, this very holistic health journey.
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  You very much understand and believe and the body's power to
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  heal. And we talked about that in in
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  different weighs on this platform because I think it's so
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  important to tap into like we're capable of so much more than
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  many times we give ourselves credit for or we're even told in
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  some of these more traditional Western medicine settings.
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  And so parsing out all that information and figuring out
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  what's a Band-Aid purposes of what's a, what's a solution
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  like, OK, my body's doing this, why is this happening?
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  The emotional, mental, physical health piece, which you already
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  referred to is a key component in this part of our health.
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  Listening to our bodies, processing and moving through
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  our emotions, feeling the things that need to be felt, not
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  stuffing things, realizing when you stuff that has an impact on
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  your mental health, your physical health and comes up in
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  a lot of different ways. Talk to me about you're learning
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  about this and how you got to this space of understanding
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  this, which led you down this road that you're on now.
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  Well, let me kind of put the puzzle together.
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  It's a puzzle piece, sure. One of the things I will share
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  is that by training, I'm a naturopathic healthcare
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  practitioner. And it didn't start out like
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  that originally. Oh, no.
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  Let me backtrack to give you a kind of understanding.
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  I grew up on home remedies. I mean, like, you know, that
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  that's that. That's my origin.
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  Yeah. But when I was growing up as a
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  child, doctors came to your home.
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  They used to do home visits. And so as a channel, I'm looking
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  at the doctors. I'm saying, oh, wow, that's what
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  I want to do. Because to me, in my mindset,
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  they were healers. I said, OK, that's what I want
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  to do. I want to be a healer when I
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  grow up. Now, fast forwarding that, you
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  know, you go through all the dynamics.
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  When I got to school, I got an immediate lesson that what I saw
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  for doctors was not doctors that I wanted to be.
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  So I said OK, let me change careers.
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  So I wound up becoming a social worker.
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  And as a social worker, I covered the whole gambit of
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  working with people and their social needs, from infants to
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  seniors, every category that you can think of.
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  But the thing that concerned me the most doing that experience
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  was the fact that everybody was going to the emergency room for
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  the doctor. So I'm saying something's wrong
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  with this picture because now we're looking at, there's no
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  resource to find out why you're having the health problems.
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  So then the urge came back up again, OK, I want to be a
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  doctor. But in that process, what
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  happened was I came into a time where time caught up with me.
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  That's when they were opening up to alternative and natural
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  approaches to healthcare. And so that led me to go into
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  becoming a naturopathic practitioner.
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  Now to Fast forward that in addressing your question, how I
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  got started and what I do, one of the things that really
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  concerned me, I, I do what I call medication free approaches
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  to relieving pain. So I focus on pain and I look at
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  the alternatives that's available to relieving pain
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  mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and
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  even financially. So when you look at it from that
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  perspective, we're coming back talking about all of the gambits
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  that relates to health and Wellness.
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  So when you think about pain, what happened for me
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  specifically was the fact that when I looked at pain, I looked
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  at pain from the standpoint of solutions.
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  We look at pain, but we never look at the solutions.
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  And for me, I thought about solutions.
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  I said pain and stress go hand in hand.
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  You cannot have pain without stress, and you don't have
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  stress without pain. So I started focusing my
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  practice on looking at pain and stress out of that chain.
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  What I do is called relieving pain first before treatment.
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  Yeah. And I say that to say when you
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  go to your doctor, the reason you go to a doctor is because
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  you're in pain. And so when you go to the doctor
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  for pain, you're looking for what relief.
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  Now let's flip that. You're going to the store for
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  something and you know what it is you want to purchase?
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  When you go to the store, you go there and you purchase it.
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  Now when you go to your doctor, you go to the doctor and say,
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  oh, my back is painting me. I'm in excruciating pain with my
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  back, and So what is the doctor going to say to you?
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  Well, we have to do some tests. And until we do the test, I
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  can't tell you what's wrong with you.
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  But here's a prescription for your pain.
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  I don't know what's causing the pain, but here's a prescription.
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  Now let's backtrack. When somebody comes to me and
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  they tell me they're in pain. And what I do is I'm really big
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  on what I call relieving pain using the power of touch.
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  And this is for your listeners to understand that this is where
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  your power comes in. You inside have the power to
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  heal yourself just by touch. And let me explain what that
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  means. So when somebody comes to me and
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  they're in pain, I'm going to give them what I call the first
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  healing touch. And that first healing touch is
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  listening. Listening is a touch.
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  So as I'm listening, what am I listening for?
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  Because the person who's in pain, they're now going to open
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  up and start talking about everything that's related to
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  that pain. And So what are they getting to
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  do? They're now hearing their cells
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  go through the process that initially started the pain that
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  they didn't connect, which was what I'm listening for.
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  The stress, That's all I'm listening for is the stress.
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  Now. Once I hear the stress, now I
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  can go to how we're going to relieve the pain.
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  And what I do, my pain relief is reflexology, which I'll talk
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  about a little later. It's reflexology.
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  And when I use reflexology, that's the pain relief.
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  But what happens from that? Now we move to the treatment
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  because what I listened, you got it off your chest.
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  Now I gave you the touch, the physical touch with my hands
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  using reflexology. The next step is treatment
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  because there's no one therapy or approach that can do it all.
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  We have 11 systems of the body, and each system needs its own
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  specialized form of touch, which means that as I was listening to
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  you, what did I hear? OK, your back is hurting you.
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  Does that mean you need some some massage therapy?
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  Does that mean you need to exercise?
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  Does that mean you need some cleansing?
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  Does that mean we need to do some deep breathing?
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  Is some acupuncture needed? Is some chiropractic?
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  It's a common, it's because what we're talking, this is your
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  treatment. It's a combination of things
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  that addresses and I call that the integrative approaches of
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  introducing hands on therapies that are medication free in
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  relieving pain. So in terms of how I do what I
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  do, it came from me understanding pain and not
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  separating pain from stress. Because here's the other little
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  tidbit. Although pain comes from stress
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  and stress is connected with pain, there's another piece.
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  Mind, body, spirit connection is the relief for pain, stress,
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  connection. You have to put all of that in
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  place to make that happen. So that's what the whole concept
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  is really all about, yeah. Yeah, I love that connection
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  that you've made and how you explained that and how.
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  I mean, I think we underestimate how many systems are in our
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  body. And we tend to, if you go to a
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  traditional medical practitioner, those systems are
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  treated in isolation. They're not treated as a whole.
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  And it's and it's not until you. And so you miss these
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  opportunities. So instead of treating the whole
• 20:19
  person with addressing all the systems and.
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  All the places that this one thing you get start throwing all
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  you go to this specialist and that specialist and this
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  prescription and that, you know, physical therapy, but you're not
• 20:30
  actually getting to the core. Of how the?
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  Systems are all interacting with each other and producing this.
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  And to add to that, one of the things that we don't truly
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  understand, OK, I use the example of back pain.
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  OK, that's where I'm physically feeling the pain.
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  But we got to understand that whenever you have pain in your
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  body and wherever it is you're feeling, that's nothing but
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  toxicity, trying to find a way to come out of the body, but you
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  know your back can't eliminate it.
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  So what is it doing? It's conflict.
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  It's, you know, it's constricting.
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  And now you have inflammation, which is the result of pain
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  trying to find its way out of the body.
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  So we have to understand. So which means that because I'm
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  only focusing on treating the paint, that's not the cause.
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  Yeah. That's.
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  Not where it started and you want to focus on where does the
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  pain start from before it even gets to the point that you are
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  feeling. If it's gotten to the point of
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  where you're feeling it, that's why I listen for the stress
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  factors. Then I can connect with what we
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  need to do to get to what caused you to be in pain.
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  Yeah. It's that upstream solution
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  versus that downstream reactionary solution.
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  Let's get upstream and get to the core and the root of it so
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  that we don't get to where we're downstream feeling the impact of
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  that these this pain is a clue of something going on in your
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  body that needs to be tended to release.
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  And so many because of the fact that we wait until the pain is
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  screaming at us, we miss a lot of cues earlier on in the
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  process. That's true because we live so,
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  and I know this from I'm speaking from my own experience
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  here. We live so disassociated.
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  And so like, we don't, you know, we only make room for certain
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  emotions and, and, and this can be based on time, based on
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  narratives we heard about what's good or bad.
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  And I talk all the time about I do not believe in good or bad
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  emotions. Emotions are clues.
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  And they are. Yet they are clues and they are
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  there to let you know something needs to be tended to, and we
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  need to get rid of this moralistic language of good,
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  yeah, good or bad, and just tend to the emotion.
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  And that comes from the hard ones.
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  But it also comes from it's OK to feel and experience joy.
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  We don't need to stuff the joy either.
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  Yes, the world is on fire, right?
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  That went so many ways. But it's but the joy.
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  Fills our cups and keeps us going and gives us reasons to
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  remember what's possible in life, you know, and finding ways
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  to connect with that. And also anger needs to be
• 23:39
  released and processed. Anger is not the problem.
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  Stress, grief, they're not the problem.
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  They're they're they're an outpouring of letting you know
• 23:48
  something needs to be moved through process, acknowledged,
• 23:51
  given attention, not stuffed, not ignored, not put on the back
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  burner. To add to that, I love
• 24:00
  everything you said. I agree 100% because that for
• 24:04
  your listeners, what was just shared with you, that is a part
• 24:08
  of your healing tools. And once you understand that,
• 24:13
  and here's another little tidbit for you, and you open up, I
• 24:17
  think you were talking about this.
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  We have compartmentalized ourselves, especially as you
• 24:24
  become an adult, you get in what's what I call the box.
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  Yeah. And when you're in the box, that
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  means there's only four corners that you have to be about moving
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  about as adults. And I like how you say this as
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  adults, we start thinking a certain way because quote and UN
• 24:46
  quote, society says this is how you have to be, this is what is
• 24:50
  expected of you. And we accept that.
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  But what we're not understanding is this.
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  I always tell my clients, it's time for you to find some time
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  to let that little girl and little boy inside of you come
• 25:14
  out and play. Yes, it's all right with you to
• 25:18
  let that child inside come out and play.
• 25:22
  And when I say this, I say you need a silly day no matter what
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  it is. It doesn't matter how people see
• 25:32
  you, what people think, this is your day.
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  Be silly because that's a part of releasing.
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  And when you could be silly, you'd be surprised.
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  The immediate healing that can happen for you just because you
• 25:49
  stepped out-of-the-box for a minute and had what I call some
• 25:54
  childhood fun. Because see, that's a problem
• 25:58
  that's happening. When you stop yourself from
• 26:02
  being creative, when you give up your creative energy, you get in
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  the box. Yeah, you do.
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  That's what happens. Absolutely.
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  It's funny you bring that up. And I've talked about this some
• 26:16
  before, but my therapist a few years ago challenged me on she's
• 26:19
  like, I want you to do something fun for this weekend for no
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  reason at all. It doesn't have to be because
• 26:26
  it's good for your serotonin levels.
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  I mean, I was very good at like, Oh, I we need to express joy
• 26:30
  because this is good. She's like, just for the sake of
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  it, Just have a good belly laugh for no good reason other than,
• 26:37
  you know, tapping back into that.
• 26:39
  Like we've, we've lost that ability to tap into our joy, to
• 26:42
  be playful, to even remember what that looks like.
• 26:46
  And this is a comportant component of our health.
• 26:51
  And to add to that, and I always talk about this, there's a
• 26:56
  population that's very dear to my heart, and I'm going to share
• 27:01
  this with your listeners because this can kind of help you
• 27:04
  understand what I mean when I say have a silly day.
• 27:09
  The most population right now that's going through some
• 27:15
  serious stress and pain is our young people.
• 27:20
  They are stressed to the Max. You do know how to do certain
• 27:26
  things to relieve your stress, but young people are not being
• 27:30
  told or not being shown any outlets that can help them
• 27:36
  relieve the stress and the pain that they're going through.
• 27:40
  And one of the major stresses of young people is they are scared
• 27:46
  to death of touch. That's a generation of people
• 27:52
  who do not want you to touch them.
• 27:55
  You know why? Because we don't touch anymore.
• 27:59
  We've forgotten how to touch. And touch is not just physical.
• 28:06
  Touch is emotional. Touch is mental, touch is
• 28:12
  physical, and it's also spiritual.
• 28:15
  We've got to understand how to connect all of that together and
• 28:20
  start touching. See, this is a result of COVID
• 28:24
  because that's the one thing COVID did that had that for some
• 28:29
  reason we're not shaking that off fact that we don't touch.
• 28:33
  Yeah, it did that and now our mindset is sucked.
• 28:37
  That's the reason when I tell you, remember I said I'm in
• 28:39
  stress Capital, USA. This is a touchless place.
• 28:43
  People do not touch. And when I say that, I'm talking
• 28:48
  about that's why you're seeing and feeling and experiencing all
• 28:52
  of the anger because we're not touching.
• 28:55
  Yeah, that's where the anger comes from.
• 28:58
  Yeah. Not touching and the.
• 29:00
  Loneliness too, and isolation, Exactly.
• 29:03
  Exactly. That's the corporate of it all.
• 29:07
  And so now we're in our little cocoons.
• 29:09
  But guess what? Nobody is an island.
• 29:12
  Yeah, that's the only way we function.
• 29:15
  That's the only way we survive. And so when I say that go
• 29:19
  outside and bring your children and start doing some silly
• 29:24
  things together with the children in your life, let them
• 29:27
  see you be silly and not serious all the time.
• 29:32
  That's a healing tool. Yeah.
• 29:35
  Oh. Thank you for that.
• 29:36
  I love so much about that. I love how you really put the
• 29:40
  full definition on touch. I think that's such an important
• 29:45
  component here and something we miss.
• 29:48
  We miss that and because of the seriousness over the of the
• 29:53
  world for the last, you know, I would say especially 10 years,
• 29:56
  910 years, it has, it has added this hyper vigilant state that
• 30:02
  we're all living at all the time and we don't allow out of the
• 30:06
  fear that's derived from that, which is totally understandable.
• 30:11
  We miss the opportunities or push back the opportunities to
• 30:16
  play and tap into that. And I've, I have used this quote
• 30:21
  a lot the last week because it keeps coming up in conversation.
• 30:24
  So I love each season. There's always themes.
• 30:27
  And one of the themes that keeps coming up with guests is the
• 30:30
  ability to play again, the ability to find your childlike
• 30:34
  joy again, no matter who I'm talking to across the spectrum.
• 30:38
  That is coming up more and more. And I think it's because people
• 30:41
  are feeling that need for that. And the the irony of all of this
• 30:46
  is the more serious the world feels, the more we need to tap
• 30:51
  into that so we don't lose it because it is such an important
• 30:55
  part of how we relate to people, how we connect to people, how we
• 31:00
  communicate with each other, how we create intimacy.
• 31:05
  And I'm talking about relational interestimacy across the board.
• 31:09
  You that trust. So thank you so much for how you
• 31:12
  broke that down. So important, so powerful.
• 31:16
  The, the thing that everybody right now, even with your
• 31:20
  podcast, in terms of the podcast now are dealing with the
• 31:26
  messages of a world that's looking for healing.
• 31:31
  Everybody's looking for some kind of healing and whatever
• 31:34
  message that we can share with each other, like what we're
• 31:40
  doing right now that touches somebody.
• 31:44
  And when I say touch, I say the first form of touch begins with
• 31:51
  two words. And they're the most powerful
• 31:53
  words in the language. And it's called thank you.
• 31:57
  You do not know how Thank you heals.
• 32:02
  Yeah. Just saying thank you to someone
• 32:06
  can make somebody's day. Yeah.
• 32:10
  And and. And and that is powerful.
• 32:14
  The other thing is another form of touch.
• 32:18
  It's just being able to smile at somebody so that way you can
• 32:22
  lift their spirits some. Smiling is a form of touch.
• 32:29
  Not only will we deal with the physical, you know, you may pat
• 32:33
  somebody lightly on the back or on their shoulder.
• 32:37
  That's an uplifting and a healing touch.
• 32:41
  You may also just say, walk up to somebody and say it's going
• 32:47
  to be all right. That's a form of touch that is.
• 32:53
  So we have it inside of us and it is our responsibility to be
• 33:00
  about sharing that because that's who we are.
• 33:06
  Yeah, that's the work that we were placed here to do, to be
• 33:12
  about helping that next person in terms of lifting them up
• 33:16
  through the power of touch that each of us has inside.
• 33:21
  And I tell you a little tricky one that is a fun one I like is
• 33:25
  think about when you're on the highway and it's bumper to
• 33:29
  bumper traffic and nobody's letting you in and you trying to
• 33:33
  get over and all of a sudden somebody slows down, gives you
• 33:38
  enough space to get in and you raise your hand the wave.
• 33:42
  In the mirror, yes, you don't. Know that may have been just the
• 33:48
  energy that person needed for the day and you gave it to them
• 33:52
  because nobody has ever acknowledged them throughout the
• 33:55
  day for anything and you're doing that made the day.
• 33:59
  That's a form of healing touch. So if we understand that we're
• 34:08
  on the way to turning all of this stress and pain that we are
• 34:13
  seeing with our eyes and feeling with our spirits, that's how we
• 34:18
  take back control and turn it around.
• 34:21
  Wow. You just laid out showing up for
• 34:24
  yourself unapologetically and others unapologetically
• 34:28
  beautifully there. You just addressed that talking
• 34:31
  point on point. Thank you so much at those
• 34:34
  little things, that smile, that thank you that oh, what a
• 34:38
  beautiful dress you have on. Oh what a beautiful smile you
• 34:42
  have. That was so kind of you to do
• 34:44
  that. I noticed that, you know, I'm
• 34:47
  having a conversation in a couple weeks with about
• 34:52
  invisible work and Doctor Janelle Wells and Doctor Doran
• 34:57
  McCauley have done a lot of research on this and that
• 34:59
  invisible work that a lot, a lot of times women do that goes
• 35:06
  unnoticed. That's just expected and the
• 35:08
  power of you don't always have to like, you know, ask, you
• 35:14
  know, see if you know, they may want help, just say thank you.
• 35:17
  Just acknowledge the fact that they're doing that.
• 35:19
  I mean, communicate with them. Is this something you really
• 35:22
  want to be doing or are we assuming?
• 35:23
  But I my point being those simple thank you's and
• 35:26
  acknowledgement, that smart, gentle smile.
• 35:30
  You just don't know. And I'd love how you brought
• 35:33
  that into being part of touch because I think that's how we
• 35:37
  get our humanity back. That thank you that.
• 35:43
  Yeah, that that, my friends, is showing up for yourself and
• 35:47
  others unapologetically. In a nutshell, most.
• 35:49
  Definitely most of and you know that the thing about it is, is
• 35:55
  and not not that we're coming across where we're being hard.
• 35:58
  What we're trying to do is uplift you to be able to know
• 36:03
  that you got control of this. And see, I'm a big advocate of
• 36:08
  people taking back control. Whatever is stressing you out,
• 36:13
  whatever it is inside you, whether you believe it or not,
• 36:20
  come to learn how to believe it. You control everything that
• 36:25
  happens in your life. You control what goes on you.
• 36:28
  And nobody outside does that. You do it.
• 36:32
  And from me to you, I give you the support 100% to take that
• 36:39
  control of whatever is going on. You've now been in power.
• 36:43
  Go do it. Yeah.
• 36:45
  Yeah, 'cause when you are, when you were able to do that, you
• 36:48
  start seeing choices. Instead of feeling stuck,
• 36:51
  instead of feeling like I don't know how to get out of this, you
• 36:54
  start or opened up, you start seeing choice things.
• 36:57
  Life is choices rather than something you're stuck in.
• 37:02
  Exactly, exactly. And because that's what life is,
• 37:05
  it's choices. And it goes back again to what I
• 37:07
  said. Remember, it's a life lesson.
• 37:11
  Whatever it is, it's something you have to learn from it.
• 37:15
  And once you submit to learning from the lesson, that which you
• 37:21
  are experiencing as stress and pain will go away because guess
• 37:25
  what? It serves no purpose.
• 37:28
  You mastered it and once you master it, yeah, so you got a
• 37:33
  new left from them. Yeah, yeah, no kidding.
• 37:37
  That is how life goes. I mean, it is a journey and we
• 37:39
  are continuing to evolve and grow within it.
• 37:42
  Your work is so clearly aligned with your why and your values.
• 37:46
  I mean, you talk about going back to childhood and
• 37:49
  remembering doctors coming in the home and remembering how you
• 37:53
  wanted to be a healer. You have followed that cue
• 37:57
  clearly did. What do we?
• 38:01
  How do you think it was that you were able to always be so locked
• 38:05
  in and under an understanding of your why, your values and and
• 38:09
  how it informs how you show up in the world?
• 38:13
  Wow, That's a powerful question and it's an excellent one to ask
• 38:19
  if I have to like, you know, really reflect as I think the
• 38:23
  one thing that I will share this is like a personal side of my
• 38:31
  life for the listeners to imagine being 8 years old and
• 38:41
  your mother coming to you and saying I'm not going to be here
• 38:45
  with you always. I was 8 when my mother said that
• 38:51
  to me. And my mother was like, you
• 38:57
  know, involved in a lot of different things.
• 38:59
  So like, I travelled with her, you know, I, you know, we were
• 39:02
  just one-on-one. And at 8 hearing that, I, you
• 39:07
  know, you know, as a child, like, you know, I didn't
• 39:10
  understand what that was meaning.
• 39:11
  And, and it didn't sound too good, but I said, OK, you know,
• 39:15
  mother's telling you this. Yeah.
• 39:17
  And then at age 11, that reality did happen.
• 39:23
  My mother made transition. But when one thing that she said
• 39:28
  to me was as I was growing up, she always told me you can be
• 39:35
  whatever it is you want to be. So like, you know, just focus on
• 39:39
  that. So like, you know, I had
• 39:40
  remembered that. But the thing that she told me
• 39:43
  in terms of before her making her transition was I need you to
• 39:49
  take care of your father. And I have a younger brother.
• 39:53
  I have three brothers. So and my my older brothers,
• 39:57
  like, you know, they are older than I am.
• 39:59
  But with my younger brother, well, we were the closest.
• 40:02
  And so she was saying you need to take care of your father and
• 40:05
  your younger brother. So at 11, that reality hit my
• 40:11
  world changed. My world changed.
• 40:14
  I no longer had a childhood anymore.
• 40:18
  I didn't have that, you know, I was.
• 40:20
  Going through the motions. And I think that that was really
• 40:25
  what kind of gave me the path that I travel now because all
• 40:33
  through life was always being that supportive caretaker.
• 40:38
  See, it's not just because I had to be the supportive 1 and I
• 40:43
  learned how to be supportive at age 11 all the way through to my
• 40:48
  life. So if I have to reflect, I would
• 40:50
  say that was the starting point to get to me to where I am
• 40:54
  today. And to Fast forward that when I
• 40:59
  started my healthcare practices, I built my business off of
• 41:04
  working with senior citizens. They were the ones who I was
• 41:13
  working in terms of dealing with their pain and stress problems,
• 41:20
  but they were the ones who were empowering me to develop who I
• 41:26
  am today as a practitioner. And so that also along with my
• 41:32
  childhood experiences, moving it up to my adult life in terms of
• 41:36
  practicing. That's how all of that tied in
• 41:40
  and it kind of created what I do and who I am today.
• 41:46
  Wow. Thank you so much for all that
• 41:48
  and sharing that. I mean, there's so many
• 41:49
  impactful pieces there. The fact that your mother, you
• 41:53
  know, that's a tricky conversation to have with an 8
• 41:55
  year old, but your mother had, you know, the wisdom to kind of
• 42:00
  lay that out for you in the best way that she could.
• 42:05
  And then you were able to kind of, you know, through time,
• 42:08
  understand that and then able to take it and see, OK, how do
• 42:13
  these things apply as I move forward?
• 42:15
  But also to being able to, you know, the I want to go back to
• 42:19
  the importance of you talking about of having fun and being
• 42:22
  silly. When you are forced to grow up
• 42:25
  before biologically you should have to that becomes something
• 42:30
  very important for you to be able to tap into again.
• 42:33
  How? How are you able to do that?
• 42:40
  To going through all of those life lessons to turn this point.
• 42:44
  It's about releasing and 1 and I I think a major healing release
• 42:51
  happened for me. If anybody ever knows about
• 42:54
  what's called a vision quest, I went on a vision quest because
• 42:59
  the other thing too. I was all I've always been
• 43:02
  fascinated. I've had the opportunity to
• 43:05
  study my ancestral connections and that was a real fascination
• 43:09
  for me. And I have African ancestry as
• 43:13
  well as Native American ancestry.
• 43:16
  So in honor of my Native American ancestry, I was able to
• 43:20
  go on what was called a vision quest.
• 43:23
  And a vision quest is when you are placed in a, what they call
• 43:29
  a sacred place. It's by yourself and you're
• 43:33
  connected with nature. And so going on this vision
• 43:37
  quest being that I grew up in a urban environment, I knew
• 43:45
  nothing about living in the wilderness.
• 43:48
  That was totally foreign to me. And so to be put on this little
• 43:53
  place where all you had, you didn't have a tent, all you had
• 44:00
  was a, you know, a covering. And you had to be fasting at the
• 44:09
  time as well, because the only thing that you were surviving
• 44:12
  off of was water. And that was that was not farm
• 44:15
  to me. I was used to that.
• 44:16
  So that was that was easy. But my major concern was dealing
• 44:21
  with all of nature. And my major fear was snakes.
• 44:25
  And I'm going to be out here sharing space with a snake.
• 44:27
  But anyway, that's a real. Fear.
• 44:31
  Anyway, on the vision quest, what happens is on your sacred
• 44:36
  space, you dig a hole and that's when you start putting in all of
• 44:42
  the things that you're feeling that's negative and, and you
• 44:44
  releasing all of that and you get to have a revelation about
• 44:49
  what's going on because it's only you and nature and the
• 44:52
  elements, that's all you have. And so for me, the elements of
• 44:58
  nature that came to me constantly were butterflies.
• 45:02
  It was also a woodpecker that came every morning and was
• 45:06
  pecking on the trees. And those two things in
• 45:11
  particular played a real role in turning turning my whole life
• 45:16
  around and to kind of Fast forward that there were people
• 45:22
  from all over the world that were at this vision quest.
• 45:25
  And these were people who were nature enthusiasts, and we also
• 45:31
  had the opportunity that we could come down from that
• 45:33
  mountain space at any time. You didn't have to stay, but you
• 45:36
  had to stay for seven days. But if you couldn't do it, you
• 45:39
  could come down. Sure.
• 45:41
  But I guess my competitive nature kicked in.
• 45:44
  And little did I know, on the 7th day when I came down, I was
• 45:50
  the only one that stayed the whole 7 days.
• 45:54
  I didn't even know that. And I'm sitting, oh wow.
• 46:02
  But the interpretation of that, that's when I got the revelation
• 46:07
  that I was supposed to use my hands in terms of the work I do.
• 46:12
  And me hearing the woodpecker was about dealing with drumming,
• 46:17
  and I love drumming. That's what that was was all
• 46:20
  about. And the butterfly was about my
• 46:23
  evolution in terms of evolving. So I'm a part of the butterfly
• 46:27
  clan. Yeah, that was a part of how all
• 46:30
  that came to play. So I think that was my healing
• 46:34
  moment in terms of me releasing, not having a childhood,
• 46:42
  releasing feelings that I never really dealt with in terms of my
• 46:47
  mother making transition because I couldn't.
• 46:51
  Yeah, that was something I could not do.
• 46:53
  I had to be rock solid in who I was in terms of the
• 46:59
  responsibility that was placed upon me.
• 47:02
  So during that experience and able to release all of that is
• 47:07
  what led me to turning my life around.
• 47:12
  And let me tell you, it was not all easy after that either.
• 47:16
  There was a lot of stuff because because then you start dealing
• 47:20
  with resistance because as you free yourself now you get into
• 47:25
  now I want to do this now that's not where I'm going.
• 47:29
  But if this is your life path, it's going to kick your behind
• 47:35
  until you recognize that this is the way you are supposed to go.
• 47:41
  This is what you are supposed to do.
• 47:44
  So yes, I was kicking and screaming from that time all the
• 47:47
  way on to get to this point. Wow.
• 47:49
  Thank you so much for that because that is how life goes.
• 47:53
  And it's that unrolling and unraveling and your nervous
• 47:57
  system set it leaning, being present and not running from the
• 48:01
  stuff, the stuff that comes up that's hard to deal with because
• 48:04
  I would tell you based on what your story and listening to it,
• 48:09
  you can be the greatest outdoor enthusiast in the world.
• 48:12
  But if you're afraid to tap into your emotions and the feelings
• 48:15
  come up, it doesn't be. It's not about surviving in the
• 48:17
  wilderness anymore. It's about what you're feeling
• 48:20
  and how you don't want to sit with that.
• 48:22
  And you were able. And so your ability to do that,
• 48:25
  I would say it's what sustained you versus the people that might
• 48:28
  have been more fit for that outdoor experience, but they
• 48:32
  couldn't tap into the insight experience.
• 48:37
  Yes, that sums it up that that was like the whole the whole
• 48:40
  experience and and I have to thank you.
• 48:43
  Like, you know, I had never really thought about it until
• 48:46
  you asked that question. Those were thoughts.
• 48:47
  I have never ever, you know, I've reflected on it, but like
• 48:54
  you wouldn't really share that and tell the world this is this
• 49:00
  is this is my healing show and all of us and, and, and to your
• 49:03
  listeners, you have a story as well.
• 49:06
  And when I look at my life right now, this is about storytelling
• 49:13
  time. And whether we like it or not,
• 49:16
  it's time for us to start telling our stories.
• 49:20
  And thank you, Melissa, for allowing me this opportunity to
• 49:26
  tell my story. And for you listeners, start
• 49:30
  thinking about your story and you start telling it because
• 49:34
  that's how we're able to tap into healing a nation by telling
• 49:40
  our stories because it touches somebody in some form or
• 49:44
  fashion, even like what Melissa did for me just now.
• 49:47
  It was about asking. That's that's a power of touch.
• 49:52
  She asked to touch by asking, and that was something the
• 49:57
  universe said. OK, Angelika, tell your story.
• 50:02
  Oh, thank you so much for that. And also I want to add listening
• 50:07
  to those stories when they're being told.
• 50:10
  Not. Planning a response, but really?
• 50:13
  Sitting. And listening because it's by
• 50:17
  telling the stories and communicating those because
• 50:21
  people are not mind readers and they can make a lot of
• 50:23
  assumptions about your life and, and how you show up in the world
• 50:27
  if you're not telling your story.
• 50:29
  But also as you're listening to the story, you get to learn
• 50:34
  about how to best show up and support that person.
• 50:37
  What kind of touch do they need? What kind of support do they
• 50:41
  need? Who else needs to hear their
• 50:44
  story? And, and by sharing your story,
• 50:48
  it's an invitation for others to share their story.
• 50:52
  And because it's the I am such a strong believer in the power of
• 50:57
  story to build bridges instead of walls.
• 51:01
  But we have to feel safe enough to share and patient enough and
• 51:08
  empathetic enough to listen. That's so true.
• 51:13
  And what better way to think about, you know, in terms of
• 51:19
  this podcast that we're doing in terms of the many lives who are
• 51:24
  hearing what we're talking about?
• 51:27
  And it's opening some doors for them.
• 51:30
  And that's what we're all about. The work that Melissa does, the
• 51:36
  work that I do, what we focus on specifically is giving you
• 51:41
  solutions to the pain and to the stress.
• 51:45
  That's what we do. We provide solutions.
• 51:48
  And so listening to what we have to share is giving you planning
• 51:55
  and dropping some little seeds for you to know that you can
• 51:57
  nurture that and get on the other side of being healthy
• 52:03
  mentally, physically and emotionally.
• 52:06
  Yeah, thank. You so much.
• 52:07
  Thank you so much for that. That's so good.
• 52:09
  And really you have laid out throughout this your ability now
• 52:13
  to live out of your own expectations versus others
• 52:16
  expectations for your life. And that's a very freeing place
• 52:20
  to live from. But and I think it's through our
• 52:23
  stories, we can communicate those expectations and share
• 52:27
  with people and not. And this is again, goes back to
• 52:30
  those touches that you have been talking about, the asking of
• 52:34
  questions, the curiosity be the opening the door for people to
• 52:39
  feel invited in and safe in sharing their stories and their
• 52:43
  expectations spare their lives. And so I think so thank you for
• 52:47
  unfolding all of that for us. I think that's such a powerful
• 52:50
  piece. And it's really what you do in
• 52:51
  your work. You invite people to see their
• 52:54
  choices, to see to it, to get gather their solutions.
• 52:57
  And then you can live out of your own expectations When you
• 53:00
  have those resources and you you, you have them in you, but
• 53:04
  you're made available to you, you're reminded of your ability
• 53:08
  to tap into those. And and the the other thing
• 53:11
  that's so important, which is I, I tell, tell my clients also,
• 53:17
  when you look at who you are, understand you got one of two
• 53:25
  things in terms of how you can define yourself.
• 53:29
  Either you are a temple or you are a warehouse.
• 53:35
  If you are a warehouse, that means you put anything in, you
• 53:38
  accept anything, you store anything.
• 53:40
  It becomes cluttering on it. If you are a temple, that means
• 53:45
  you see things as being sacred. You honor it.
• 53:51
  And so when you get to the point of I'm living a life of being
• 53:58
  sacred and I value who I am because it's about value.
• 54:04
  And if you keep yourself as a temple, you're going to give
• 54:07
  value to it. That's something that's
• 54:08
  valuable, that's something that's special, that's something
• 54:12
  that is sacred. When you start operating from
• 54:17
  that perspective, you got your power base back, you're now
• 54:22
  powerful. And that's how you start.
• 54:26
  Whenever things start getting confusing and frustrating and
• 54:32
  overwhelmed, know that you're operating out of warehouse, not
• 54:35
  temple. Remember that analogy when it's
• 54:40
  overwhelming, the warehouse is stored of too much stuff and
• 54:44
  I've got to clean it out and I'm going back to my sacred space
• 54:49
  that. Description of warehouse versus
• 54:52
  temple really ties in well to what I call embracing all of our
• 54:55
  layers. When you went on your vision
• 54:58
  quest, you were able to go on a layers journey where you weren't
• 55:03
  able to experience and accept and acknowledge all those pieces
• 55:08
  and parts of your life and give them room to breathe and give
• 55:12
  them room to be felt. And then within that, because I
• 55:16
  always, I, I start when I'm working with women, whether it's
• 55:19
  in my online course or speaking or one-on-one, I, I do it in a
• 55:24
  different order than I do here on the podcast, we talked about
• 55:27
  the layers first because it's exactly what you said.
• 55:31
  When you see yourself as a temple and you value you, you
• 55:35
  will prioritize you. You will prioritize yourself
• 55:39
  care. You will set healthy boundaries.
• 55:41
  You will pay attention to your mental, emotional, physical
• 55:44
  health, connections you were communicate your expectations.
• 55:48
  You'll identify your Y and your values as you identify those
• 55:52
  things that nourish you and fill your cup because you know your
• 55:55
  value. And so it goes back to that,
• 55:58
  that temple piece, that layers piece, whatever it is that you
• 56:02
  need to do. And Jadika has talked about the,
• 56:06
  the vision quest and the power of that habit, that ability to
• 56:10
  get be curious rather than judgmental with yourself.
• 56:13
  And, and you know, and you have laid out what that layers piece
• 56:17
  of. I'd love that warehouse versus
• 56:20
  temple analogy because it's a very simple metaphor to kind of
• 56:24
  click, oh, wait a minute, warehouse is overflowing.
• 56:28
  It's time to go look at the calendar and see where the
• 56:32
  problem lies, because they're having there have been too many
• 56:37
  yeses and not enough noes and no yeses to me, you know, and it's
• 56:42
  that I think when you do that work, you you're, you're you're
• 56:46
  setting as a non negotiable that you won't no longer abandoned
• 56:50
  yourself. And if you start, you've got
• 56:52
  that warehouse metaphor to remind you, oops, abandoned
• 56:55
  myself here. I need to get back on track.
• 56:58
  Exactly. And and make it easy.
• 57:02
  Yeah. That's all it is.
• 57:04
  It's make it easy. Life does not have to be as hard
• 57:09
  as we have imagined it to be. That that's why it's so
• 57:13
  important to be playful with life And and and and and and and
• 57:20
  know that it's all about you. And be the you that is the
• 57:30
  shining star that radiates energy with everybody you come
• 57:37
  in contact with. Be the shining star.
• 57:40
  Nothing's wrong with it. Yeah.
• 57:42
  I love that be the Shining Star because that's so beautifully
• 57:44
  lays out that piece of I call it out in living out field, finding
• 57:48
  empowerment, embracing layers. How that unfolds, the ability to
• 57:53
  connect with yourself relationally in a healthy way,
• 57:56
  as well as other people. When you're able to be that
• 57:59
  shining star for yourself, when you're able to show up and
• 58:03
  believe that you are a temple, that you are sacred, it then
• 58:06
  impacts how you're able to connect with other people
• 58:10
  because you've learned how to connect healthfully with
• 58:12
  yourself. That is so true.
• 58:15
  That is so true. And a little tidbit that that
• 58:20
  can kind of help you. As I said earlier, in my
• 58:25
  practice, I do reflexology. And for those of you who may not
• 58:30
  know what it is, reflexology is the art and science of working
• 58:34
  specific reflex nerve ending points on your hands, your feet
• 58:39
  and your ears and what that really is.
• 58:45
  And this is a little tidbit to kind of help you understand the
• 58:49
  power. One of the most powerful systems
• 58:52
  of the body is the nervous system.
• 58:55
  The nervous system there are where your nerve endings connect
• 59:01
  with your brain, and your brain is your command center, and all
• 59:07
  of the information flows through the nerve endings throughout the
• 59:12
  body in terms of operation. When you understand that,
• 59:18
  because when we talk about stress and pain, we're talking
• 59:21
  about our nervous system, that that's really what we're talking
• 59:24
  about. And what a reflexologist is
• 59:28
  doing is relieving any stress or blockages that are in the nerve
• 59:36
  ending so that the message can flow through.
• 59:41
  Let me share with you what that means.
• 59:44
  Say for example, in your house, the electricity goes out.
• 59:50
  You go and turn on the others. You know, you flip the circuit
• 59:54
  breaker switch and all of a sudden electricity comes on.
• 59:58
  If you go do it and it doesn't come on, that means we got an
• 1:00:02
  electrical problem. So you have to call the
• 1:00:04
  electrician to come in and they're going to say, OK, we got
• 1:00:08
  a wiring problem. We got to work with the wiring.
• 1:00:12
  That's what a reflexologist does.
• 1:00:15
  They are the electricians of the body.
• 1:00:18
  We work with the nerve ending. We work with the wiring of the
• 1:00:22
  nerve endings, opening up those channels of communication.
• 1:00:27
  Now, the reason why I'm sharing this with you was because when
• 1:00:31
  you are feeling pain and stress, understand that each and every
• 1:00:37
  one of you listening to me has done reflexology, has received
• 1:00:44
  reflexology, and you don't know that you have.
• 1:00:48
  And let me share with you how if you are a parent or if you go
• 1:00:55
  back to your childhood and remember a little thing called
• 1:00:58
  this little piggy went to the market and you were doing it on
• 1:01:03
  the toes. What you were doing is
• 1:01:06
  reflexology. The nerve endings to the head
• 1:01:11
  are in the toes and in the fingers.
• 1:01:14
  At that particular time, you were activating that nerve
• 1:01:18
  ending in the head and the message was going to the brain
• 1:01:22
  through the nerve endings to the brain to release calming and
• 1:01:28
  relaxation to that baby and the baby what feels relaxed, they
• 1:01:33
  may start giggling. Some may even go to sleep, but
• 1:01:37
  you were calming them. That same technique applies to
• 1:01:42
  you and let me share with you how.
• 1:01:45
  Let's use the example of the funny bone.
• 1:01:49
  You hit that funny bone and what's the first thing you
• 1:01:52
  usually going to do? Usually it's going to be a
• 1:01:56
  verbal response. Nice and remain not so nice.
• 1:02:02
  Message then goes up the nerving to the brain.
• 1:02:06
  Trauma, stress in the elbow. Then the next thing you're going
• 1:02:11
  to do is you're going to put your hand on that area and start
• 1:02:14
  rubbing it. Message goes up through the
• 1:02:17
  nerve and into the brain. Release the body's natural pain
• 1:02:23
  relievers called endorphins. Rubbing that brings a soothing
• 1:02:29
  sensation. And if you are a parent and you
• 1:02:33
  were a child, they could be bleeding all over the place,
• 1:02:36
  father, and all you got to do is kiss the area and they feel so
• 1:02:41
  much better. That was releasing the body's
• 1:02:46
  natural pain relievers. What I was sharing with you is
• 1:02:50
  to show that you have the power to relieve pain and stress using
• 1:03:00
  your hands. It's very basic.
• 1:03:03
  And to give you a little example, if you could see my
• 1:03:06
  hand, what happens to you in the palm of your hand?
• 1:03:10
  You're going to take your thumb. You're going to do what's
• 1:03:12
  called. You bend your thumb.
• 1:03:14
  We call that a walking. Whenever you start feeling
• 1:03:18
  stressed from your wrist to your fingers all the way to the base
• 1:03:23
  of your fingers, just start walking across the palm.
• 1:03:28
  You don't know what you're doing.
• 1:03:29
  Yes. What you're bringing about
• 1:03:32
  relaxation, you're bringing about calm and soothing.
• 1:03:36
  You're relieving stress. That's all you have to do.
• 1:03:39
  Just get into habit. Just start walking outside and
• 1:03:42
  on the backside of your hand, take your four fingers.
• 1:03:46
  Do the same thing. Just walk.
• 1:03:50
  You don't walk in the back of your hand while your thumb is
• 1:03:54
  walking the palm of your hand. Doing that together helps to
• 1:04:00
  calm you down. And then take a deep breath
• 1:04:04
  relief. That's basic things that you can
• 1:04:09
  do to start relieving stress so that you can do what Melissa
• 1:04:14
  talked about. Start thinking clearly to make
• 1:04:18
  decisions that will be healing for that situation that you're
• 1:04:23
  going through. Yeah.
• 1:04:26
  And I. Think that's a really great
• 1:04:27
  thing to remember, not to settle yourself, but also if you're in
• 1:04:31
  a conflict situation, if you've got a difficult time going on
• 1:04:34
  with a person in a relationship, you know, introducing this, that
• 1:04:39
  could actually end up being a really bonding thing for you as
• 1:04:42
  you're working through this conflict.
• 1:04:44
  I'm like, you know, let's, let's take a moment, let's take a time
• 1:04:47
  out and try to and settle and do this exercise together.
• 1:04:51
  I mean, I thank you so much for that because it's really, I
• 1:04:54
  think you said it earlier, we complicate things so much, but
• 1:04:58
  if we can tap into these resources and know how to access
• 1:05:01
  our systems to bring about the responses we need, we can
• 1:05:07
  alleviate so many issues on our own In, in, in, in a moment's
• 1:05:14
  time. And so you just shared
• 1:05:16
  something. I wrote the book Reflexology
• 1:05:20
  today, A Family Affair, and inside my books I cover the
• 1:05:27
  gambit from infants to seniors. But I also have a section that
• 1:05:32
  we call, let's have what we call a reflexology Touching family at
• 1:05:40
  Night, where the whole family can sit in a circle, sit in a
• 1:05:44
  circle and everybody's working on each other's hands or feet in
• 1:05:50
  that own little special way in terms of connecting.
• 1:05:54
  That's the bonding and that's the relieving.
• 1:05:57
  And you'd be surprised how that can be a healing moment for you
• 1:06:04
  and your family. And the other thing inside the
• 1:06:09
  book, I show you how you can do basic reflexology techniques.
• 1:06:15
  And if you don't want to do it on yourself, teach your young
• 1:06:19
  people. They make the best reflexologist
• 1:06:23
  you can possibly imagine when you teach them that skill.
• 1:06:27
  Now you got somebody that can work on your hands and feet
• 1:06:31
  whenever you want it because that's your pain reliever 24/7.
• 1:06:36
  Wow. And you're.
• 1:06:37
  Also. Giving that skill to these
• 1:06:40
  children to know how to soothe those hard things that come up
• 1:06:46
  when they're having a hard emotion, when they need to
• 1:06:48
  settle their nervous system, you're giving them that skill
• 1:06:53
  and they can utilize that the rest of their lives.
• 1:06:56
  That's the whole essence of it, yeah.
• 1:06:59
  And that's why I say reflexology today, a family affair, because
• 1:07:06
  the one thing you have to understand, when somebody is in
• 1:07:10
  pain or stress or somebody has a health problem, it's not just
• 1:07:15
  that one family member, it's the whole family, right?
• 1:07:18
  But because we are not touching, we remove.
• 1:07:22
  OK, Well, this is mother's problem with this is father.
• 1:07:27
  No, it's the whole family. And the whole family has to come
• 1:07:31
  together to be about the healing.
• 1:07:34
  When I wrote the book, I should've noted it with you when
• 1:07:37
  I wrote the book. The book that's out now is the
• 1:07:40
  second edition. But when I wrote the first book,
• 1:07:43
  and I wrote that back in 1985, and when I wrote that book, I
• 1:07:48
  was on my way to China to study reflexology.
• 1:07:53
  And when I got to China, the doctors in China spend an hour
• 1:07:59
  to an hour and a half with a patient before they even get to
• 1:08:03
  the treatment. And the reason they're doing
• 1:08:05
  this is because they focus on prevention.
• 1:08:09
  They want to know whatever this family member has, what do we do
• 1:08:14
  so that the other family members do not get it?
• 1:08:18
  And when the other family members now know what they can
• 1:08:22
  do, now we got a preventive approach for the other family
• 1:08:25
  members. When I heard that, when I saw
• 1:08:29
  that, that was a confirmation for me, for my book, because
• 1:08:32
  when I wrote the book, I wrote the book because I felt that at
• 1:08:35
  least one family member in a household should know some basic
• 1:08:41
  reflexology techniques to use in relieving pain and stress.
• 1:08:46
  And that's why I say it's a family affair in the healing
• 1:08:51
  process. Yeah.
• 1:08:53
  I love how you brought that all together because whether we, you
• 1:08:56
  want to believe it or not, when we're experiencing any kind of
• 1:08:59
  turmoil, pain, irritability, angst, our loved ones aren't,
• 1:09:03
  the rest of the people we live with suffer from that.
• 1:09:07
  And, and so that impact of like, not only are you relieving the
• 1:09:11
  suffering for yourself, but also relieving the suffering for
• 1:09:14
  those people that it impacted when you were in pain.
• 1:09:17
  So that's such a collective solution and that's.
• 1:09:22
  How we have to learn how to start operating.
• 1:09:24
  It's about, you know, there's a saying it takes a village to
• 1:09:29
  raise a chap, but it takes a family to heal a nation.
• 1:09:36
  Oh wow. All right.
• 1:09:38
  That was good, So good. Thank you so much for that.
• 1:09:41
  OK, I could talk to you forever, but in the interest of time.
• 1:09:46
  We are. Down to our rapid fire name 5
• 1:09:50
  activities that nourish you. Five activities.
• 1:09:57
  Well, the first one I would say is being able to walk barefooted
• 1:10:02
  in the grass first thing in the morning to let the energy of
• 1:10:07
  nature, because in the Native American experience, the healing
• 1:10:11
  foundation are your feet. And so when your feet connect
• 1:10:15
  with the earth, all of the pores in your feet are open and the
• 1:10:20
  energy of earth radiates up through your body from your feet
• 1:10:23
  to the top of your top of your head.
• 1:10:25
  So that will be my first one. The next thing I would say is I
• 1:10:33
  like I like playing chef because that's a way to be about for me.
• 1:10:44
  I see chess is playing the game of life.
• 1:10:46
  And so as I'm moving the pieces across the board that I'm
• 1:10:49
  playing the life game. So it would be chess the next.
• 1:10:53
  I love to dance. Now that's where I really get
• 1:10:55
  challenged. I love dancing and so that will
• 1:10:59
  be another one. So that's my number three.
• 1:11:01
  Let me see then I would say I love, I love the water.
• 1:11:10
  I love being able to spend time just being in the environment of
• 1:11:19
  water and it's healing properties.
• 1:11:22
  I think that's that's real because it can be quieting and
• 1:11:26
  it could be soothing as well as just being able to sit in it
• 1:11:30
  because I do like water aerobics.
• 1:11:32
  If I had when it comes to exercise, that's my favorite,
• 1:11:35
  doing water aerobics. So I like the water and let me
• 1:11:39
  see for my 5th, I would say being able to be connected with
• 1:11:49
  like minded and spirited people in collaborative conversations
• 1:11:56
  like we're having right now. Those will be my 5 healing, my 5
• 1:12:02
  self help healings for me. Yeah, thank.
• 1:12:05
  You so much for this. So good.
• 1:12:07
  All right, 5 words on how you want to feel the next six
• 1:12:11
  months. 5 words OK healthy, wealthy, peaceful, humble.
• 1:12:34
  I love those. So good, share with people where
• 1:12:38
  they can find and follow you. And yes, all these resources
• 1:12:41
  will be on our website at embracinglayers.com, on our
• 1:12:43
  resources page listeners, and I know you're going to want to tap
• 1:12:46
  into these things, but share with us right now where people
• 1:12:49
  can find and follow you and work with you.
• 1:12:52
  OK, First of all, my website is where I would suggest everybody
• 1:12:56
  go to focus on healing.com. And what I'm going to extend to
• 1:13:01
  you is go to my contact page and connect with me if you have any
• 1:13:06
  questions, any comments and whatever.
• 1:13:12
  If you're going through some pain and stress and you want
• 1:13:14
  some relief from me, trust me, I will answer and get back to you.
• 1:13:18
  That's where I would start. And the other thing is, I too
• 1:13:23
  have a podcast where we talk about various medication free
• 1:13:28
  alternative release The podcast go to
• 1:13:32
  touchologywellnessexperience.com. That's my podcast.
• 1:13:37
  And Melissa, in the African tradition, you never come to
• 1:13:44
  somebody's home without bringing a gift.
• 1:13:48
  And I have a gift for you and your listeners that you can go
• 1:13:53
  to. I have put together medication
• 1:13:55
  addiction free pain relief poster that you can download and
• 1:14:00
  all you have to do is go to touchologyreflexology.com and
• 1:14:06
  download my gift to you for spending this time with me.
• 1:14:11
  Oh. Thank you so much for that.
• 1:14:13
  That is so kind. I appreciate that so much.
• 1:14:15
  Listeners, all those resources will be, if you're driving down
• 1:14:18
  the road, don't feel like you don't have to pull over, go to
• 1:14:21
  our resources page, hit those links so you can access that,
• 1:14:25
  that generous free group, that beautiful group and these
• 1:14:28
  resources and just learn more from what NGT has to offer.
• 1:14:32
  Thank you so much today for your time.
• 1:14:35
  This has been such a wonderful conversation.
• 1:14:38
  My, my, my energy is full. Just listening to you and being
• 1:14:42
  being reminded even what's within us and what we can tap
• 1:14:47
  into, literally and figuratively tap into within ourselves is so
• 1:14:52
  important for ourselves and for each other and how you know
• 1:14:56
  it's, you know, so important. And I want to say thank you to
• 1:15:01
  you, Melissa, and thank you to your listeners for giving me
• 1:15:05
  this time and giving me this opportunity.
• 1:15:08
  And I leave you with this one thought.
• 1:15:11
  Know that it's the power of touch that heals all.
• 1:15:16
  And you got it. On that note, that's a great way
• 1:15:20
  to wrap up this episode. Thanks so much again for being
• 1:15:24
  with us today. Listeners, this was a rich one.
• 1:15:26
  Go back free, listen, tap into these resources, take good care,
• 1:15:31
  and we'll see you next time here on the Field podcast.
• 1:15:35
  Hello, and thank you so much for being with us today on this
• 1:15:39
  episode of the Feel podcast. If you would like more
• 1:15:43
  information on how you can apply these talking points that I
• 1:15:48
  share with our guests in each episode to your own life, really
• 1:15:52
  utilize this Feel framework, go to embracinglayers.com, fill out
• 1:15:58
  our contact form, and let's set up a free 30 minute consultation
• 1:16:03
  to talk about how you can start being your most authentic,
• 1:16:07
  organic, healthy feel fueled life.
• 1:16:12
  Thanks again for being with us today.
• 1:16:13
  We'll be back to you soon with another episode here on the Feel
• 1:16:17
  Podcast.