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117. Silence the Mental Bully · Your Enriched Self

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I think over the years, I have a valued silence, and not just
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silence in the physical, but just getting myself in a place of silence so
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much that I don't allow my thoughts to go racing, to go forward,
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to go ahead of me, because that's when you start losing your frame of
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mind. And so for me, moments of silence and moments where things are
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quiet gives me a chance to reset. It gives me a sense of control
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over the internal experiences that I might be having. And so I'm going to
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challenge you to appreciate the silence, the quiet moments in your life because you're
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going to realize in those moments you get to talk to yourself in a more
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simple and more mid way, almost like you would offer to a friend.
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And you have now a reference point that when you're faced with a setback or
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when you're challenged with a mistake, that you can go back to this moment
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and remind yourself of who you are, that you are enough, and that
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you are capable. Hello, my friends from all across the globe, and
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welcome to the Your Red Cell Podcast. I am your host, MII Lee
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Noir. I am a mindset coach and your mindset advocate. And what that
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means is, I know that you are busy. I know there's a lot
1:55
happening in your life and in this life, and so I want to make
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sure that we can sort all that out and bring you to this safe space
2:05
so that you can do the things you must do each and every week to
2:09
be more of your in rid self. And so what we do on this
2:13
podcast is we talk about mindset fusion topics. We talk about self care,
2:19
soul care, intentional thinking because we know, and I know you know,
2:24
that your thoughts are guided by your words, and those words take form and
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manifest based on the actions that you take each and every day, and so
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I want to make sure that it all starts with what are you thinking about
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and how are you processing those thoughts? And so, if you're new to
2:45
this podcast, that's what you're in for, and I want to welcome you
2:47
to this your in rich Self community. If you are a repeat listener,
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that means you've been doing this for a few weeks, you probably have been
2:55
doing this for one hundred and seventeen episodes. That's right. We are at
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episode one hundred and seventeen, and I am so grateful and from the bottom
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of my heart, I want to thank you for being on this journey by
3:10
sharing your feedback and things that you want to hear on the podcast. Listen,
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we are doing all the things because of you. Thanks to each and
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every one of you for being here and staying on this wonderful journey of becoming
3:24
more of your and richself. And before we get into this week's episode,
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if you know, one of the things that I do with intention, as
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with many things on this podcast, is I make a deposit in the bank
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of you, and I do so by way of affirmations. Affirmations are a
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great way to start your day and to command your morning. And this week's
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affirmation is I am at peace with the fact that I cannot control everything.
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I am at peace with the fact that I cannot control everything. I am
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at peace with the fact that I cannot control everything. Now, let's get
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ready for this week's episode of the Your Enriched Self Podcast. I don't know
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if I shared with the audience, but I recently completed a half marathon,
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and it had been several years since I completed an official half marathon. I've
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been running and doing some training with some friends A few years back who were
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part of a full marathon journey, and so I went along with them on
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the training journey. However, this experience on my half marathon journey was very
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different. First of all, I'm gonna say this, and I'm not going
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to encourage this to anyone. I did not train for this half marathon,
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and having done one before, I knew what I was up against. I
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knew that I was taking a significant risk with doing this marathon without any training.
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And again, I do not recommend this by any means, but I
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did want to come here today and share with you one thing that I learned
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and really spend time in that space, and that one thing that I learned
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is that many times, when we think about the things that are affecting us,
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we always look and often look outside of ourselves. And because I knew
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that a lot of or the majority of the training I would need to do
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was going to be a mental training, I knew that I had to clear
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any mental blocks, anything that would keep me from executing a successful race.
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And again, as I've said on this podcast before, success is going to
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be defined differently by each individual. For me, success would mean an injury
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free race. It would mean that I would complete the race in a designated
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time that I assessed for myself, and that was my strategy. Those were
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my parameters, those were my success measures, and that is exactly what happened.
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That was the outcome of the race. But in order to get to
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that outcome, that desired outcome, I had to make some changes. And
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keep in mind, the changes I would normally had to make would have been
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physical changes. I would have had to be working my body and pacing myself
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up to thirteen miles. Right, there's actually run journeys and training plans that
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would start you off at a five k or at one mile and take you
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over the course of many weeks up to the thirteen miles so that you had
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the confidence. Because if you don't know this, maybe you are a runner,
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because I have some run friends that listen to this podcast. Ninety percent
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of the journey that you are faced with is a mental journey. And because
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I knew that, I knew that I could make up the time for managing
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my physical self. So I had to do the work in the mental space.
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And for many of you, for many of us, you have a
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mental block or you have mental blocks, and those mental blocks may come by
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way of what I call a mental bully. And it's like the physical bully,
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right, the kid, the adult, the boss. Bullies come in
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many shape, sizes, and different persons. So depending on the physical bully
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that you're up against, you may see some external signs and symptoms of that.
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Right, maybe you're not eating or you are. In some cases,
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people have physical scars that they deal with bullying, loss of interest in being
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in group settings. So there are a lot of different external things that you
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can measure and see the impacts of a bully. But the bully I'm talking
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about is a mental bully, and that is a bully that distracts you.
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That is a bully that tells you that you are not enough. That is
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a bully that diminishes you, that minimizes you, the bully that constantly reminds
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you of all your shortcomings. And that was the bully that was the mental
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block that I had to assess first, determine how deep did this thing go
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for me, cause for each of us it's different. And once I assess
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what I was up against, then I had to find ways to plug that
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in. In other words, I had to find a positive affirmation or for
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me. It was scriptures. I went to the Bible. I got biblical
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on this thing because I was determined that I would successfully complete this race,
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and I had my measures of success. And this is why I always say,
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have your own measures of success, so you're not out in the world
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trying to measure up to other people's expectations. Your expectations are the most important
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expectations that you should have of yourself. Okay, I understand that they are
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parameters out there and they are ways to measure, but you need to have
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your internal measurement so that you can know that you are better than the last
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version of yourself. And that's why I do this. Yes, I guess
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the external measures. I know they're important. I know for certain metrics and
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certain businesses and certain educational systems, those things are important. But I'm gonna
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encourage you, if you don't have your own measure of success, to get
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that and always find ways to up the antis on that, because of course
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that's gonna change over time. That's gonna change with your experience, that's gonna
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change with just the way you approach your life. And I want you to
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be confident when you step into whatever arena you need to step into. I
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want you to be confident to know what success means to you. That's gonna
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be an important part of that journey, and it was an important part for
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me on my journey to a half marathon. Once you get to understanding that
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aspect of it, and you now understand what gaps this mental bully has placed
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on you, what limitations has this mental bully placed on you. Once you
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start to understand that, it's going to be a lot easier for you to
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start plugging in place the positive affirmations, the scriptures, the reminders of who
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you are, not who the world wants you to be, not who somebody
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thinks you should be, not who you think you should be, but who
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you actually are. We spend so much of our lives, so much of
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our time focused on what other people think about us. So recently I was
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listening to one of my favorite podcasters on the Secrets to Success podcasts, and
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he said that one of the things that rich people do, right, and
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hear me out, one of the things that rich people do is they don't
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worry about other people's opinions of them, and that's how you're able to be
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rich. And I don't want you to think about riches in terms of wealth.
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Well, I want you to think of riches in terms of wealth because
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you can redefine wealth for yourself. Okay, that's another thing, right,
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Success measures and wealth measures they come in different shapes and sizes. So wealth,
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for me, let me give you an example, may very well be
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the type of information that I'm handing over to my kids, because information lead
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to opportunity. But if you don't have information, it's gonna be hard to
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get to the opportunity. And so that was the point of what he said,
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is that when you focus on other people's opinion of you, it is
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the equivalent of lack of wealth. It subtracts from your bank of wealth,
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right, because you're focusing and you're giving energies to other people's opinions of you,
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and those opinions are going to keep you back. Those opinions become the
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mental gaps and ultimately the mental bullies. And I knew that with thirteen point
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one miles ahead of me, I could not allow a mental bully to rob
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me of my goal, to rob me of my finish line, to rob
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me of my completion. And there is something right now that you have thought
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about over and over again. And we know that from talking on this podcast
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that a thought that is repeated over and over becomes a belief and it now
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creates a system on how you manage yourself. And so that thought of other
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people's opinions has created a belief in you, which is robbing you, leaving
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you less wealthy, leaving you with less riches, leaving you with less than
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who you are, and leaving you with unfulfilled dreams. And for me it
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was a marathon. For you, it may be something else. I don't
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know what it is that you are focused on. I don't know what it
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is that you need to get completed. And I know you're gonna look at
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your circumstances in the physical, but I'm challenging you to take a deeper look
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into your mental space because in there are going to be signs, symbols,
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and opportunities where you can go challenge that mental bully. Yes, challenge your
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mental bully. Plug in that scripture, plug in that affirmation, plug in
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your last success. Now here's the thing. When you do this, You're
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not going to only have to do this one time. You're gonna have to
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repeat this scripture repeat this affirmation, remind yourself of your former success. You're
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gonna have to repeat the affirmation. You're gonna have to repeat the scripture because
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just like a belief, the way it's formed is over and over with repetition.
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You are gonna have to repeat these things to remind yourself of who you
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are, whom you are, and what you can accomplish. I think it's
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important to understand that every bully has a weakness. Yes, even your mental
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bully, even the thing that has kept you down and reminded you of your
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limitations, that thing has a weakness. And I'll tell you oftentimes, these
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mental bullies come from all experiences, all conversations, And so right now I
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want to dare you to go back to that conversation. Remember who said it
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to you, and remember at the time the role they played in your life
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or didn't play in your life. Think about what makes them qualify to say
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what they said so that it has the level of weight that it has carried
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for these last ten, five, twenty years or more of your life.
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When you start to compartmentalize these people, these conversations, these situations, you
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realize that they don't have the level of significance, and it shouldn't have the
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level of significance. It shouldn't carry the kind of weight that it has carried
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on your life for all these years. You start to pick away and chip
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away at that mental bully. You start to recognize that underneath all of that
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is a lot of nothing. You should start to realize that you are in
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control. And that's what I had to do. I had to take the
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control go back, because you can allow yourself to get carried away in your
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thoughts and carried away in old experiences and carried away with old conversations. This
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is a new day, this is a new moment, and there is something
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new that you're going after. Charging after this thing in a new day.
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You gotta have a new mindset. If you're gonna achieve new goals, you
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need a new mindset. If you're gonna achieve big goals, you need a
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big mindset. I had to expand my mindset. I had to go from
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running a five k, which was the last week leading up to the race,
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to expanding my mindset to saying, Okay, I know you ran a
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five k a week ago, but I need you to run thirteen point one
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miles in the next week. That requires big changes, although I couldn't do
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it to the physical, but all I could see is the physical. I
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had to work on the things that you cannot see, and that is where
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faith is achieved. Faith is the work that you do for the thing you
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cannot see. And that's hard to do because you don't have tangible results.
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You don't have physical results. You can't see all of the steps that you
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need to take on your way up the stairs. Right. So I had
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to literally run the mile mentally, one mile at a time. I remember
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around mile three I felt some discomfort and I had to take a physical stop
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at that mile. I also had to take a mental note and have a
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reminder to stop the bully before they got started, because when you have that
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first level of discomfort, that's when you're mental bully. That's like mental bullying
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one oh one. This is the time that bully wants to step in.
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If you've been doing that mental training, you would be prepared for that moment.
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So I was prepared for that moment. I wasn't prepared for the physical
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moment because I didn't expect to feel that level of discomfort, but I was
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absolutely prepared for the mental moment that was taking place or was going to take
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place in that space, and I shut it down before it even got started.
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It was so interesting. As I was running, I think I was
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on mile ten. My friend and I were pacing with a group of guys
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and one of the guys said to me, he said, it doesn't even
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seem like you're running. It's like a mindful journey that you're on. And
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I thought to myself, Wow, this guy, this stranger, has me
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pegged right. I was so in my head, but not in a negative
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way. People always say, get out your head. I had to be
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in my head because I knew my physical self couldn't handle what I hadn't trained
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for, but my mental capacity was up for the job, and I was
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able to complete a successful marathon success by my measures. Not only did I
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complete it healthy with no injuries, but I exceeded the time goal that I
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had set for myself, and that was phenomenal. So I'm just here to
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remind you when you are on your journey, you are going to deal with
20:07
some challenges. Some of those challenges are going to be in the physical.
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Some of those challenges are going to be in the mental. If you can
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attack those mental challenges, which are ninety percent of whatever journey you're on.
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You are going to be able to sail pass, You're going to be able
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to ace, You're going to be able to exceed all of the goals that
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you have ahead of you and crush that half marathon, whatever that might be
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for you. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of the Urine Ritsup podcast.
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And the only way I'm going to know this is if you leave me
20:48
some feedback. Feedback is a gift and it is free to give, and
20:52
I would like to hear from you. I would like to know what resonated
20:55
with you regarding this week's episode. Now here's how you leave feedback on the
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platform in which you listen to this podcast. Follow the stars when you get
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there, leave a five star rating. But in all seriousness, when you
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get there, you can share your feedback on this podcast and that helps us.
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And when you share your feedback on this podcast, it helps others find
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You can tag me. I would love to hear from you, so you
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can show case to your friends and families and those in the social streets what
22:03
you're listening to and what's feeding you mind, body and spirit. I also
22:07
want you to check out the show notes. In the show notes, we
22:10
have the affirmation of the week, the quote of the week, and there
22:14
you can also find my Amazon shop. The Your Rich Self shop has two
22:19
items right now, a journal which is the Show Up Everyday Journal, as
22:25
well as the Show Up Everyday Notebook. So check those out in my Amazon
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shops. And finally, take what you can from this episode and do what
22:34
you must in the next one hundred and sixty eight hours so that you can
22:40
become more of your enridged self until we meet again.