Latest / Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild / My Inner Critic Called; I Let Her Talk to the Manager

Transcript

My Inner Critic Called; I Let Her Talk to the Manager · Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome, welcome, welcome.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Tina, your transformational coach and emotional intelligence strategist, where I'm here to share midlife experiences with women or men, whoever needs help with their midlife trying to rebuild.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I do.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm starting my podcast.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm gonna do something a little bit different.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: She is far more than what meets the eye.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: You will not recognize how beautiful she is until you start looking at the things eyes can't see.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Let that soak in for a minute.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: She is far more than what meets the eyes.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: You will not recognize how beautiful she is until you start looking at the things the eyes can't see.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: That came from a book that I just bought at the library while doing a podcast.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it's called Her by Pierre Alex Gennetti.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: And there's all these different things in here and poems and things about women and positive talk and positive thinking.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just randomly opened up to that page in the book.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it got me to thinking, this could be a different podcast about just sitting with how we treat ourselves and what we say to each other, or what you say to yourself.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Did you ever stop and think, like, what if you wrote down like maybe three hours of your day, what you said to yourself, or just different times during the day that you caught yourself saying something, and write that down.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you're like, oh, I'm stupid.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: I really screwed up.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: So write down maybe what you said, and then next take something to replace it.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm learning.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just learning, and that's okay.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Mistakes can be made.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I challenge you to do that.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: I have not done that yet, but now that I say it, I'm going to do it.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then the next week I will get back to you with some of the results and some more ways to learn how to talk better to yourself and learn how to talk nice to yourself.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if some of my people might be here from like day one, but I did talk about in my first series doing this program, not a program, but a technique.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's called Mir Back.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something that I had done when I was struggling with, you know, leaving DV relationship.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I was crying, and I had made a video, and it was gonna be a video to just post to share.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then I stopped it and I played it back and I started talking to that version of me gently, as if I was talking to my daughter or my son or a loved one or a friend or a sister or a brother.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh my goodness.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that was the first epiphany that I had that it does matter what you say to yourself.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And why do we beat ourselves up when we don't do that to our friends or our family?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Why, what part is that?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is there something that we don't like?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not a therapist, so I don't know the psychology, psychology behind that.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: But there, you know, we can do better, we can do better.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: And even during struggles, how we put negative stuff out there.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I know we don't want to be like, ooh, positive, happy, happy, happy all the way, like that kind of bubbly bubbly.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, you know to what extent.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, of course, I want to be surrounded by people that are positive and happy.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: But what happened was something I'm on a social media site, and this site we kind of get a little bit closer to each other, and I found a lot of people that are lined up with me as far as they're in midlife, they're looking for self-growth.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, whatever I share, I can discuss that.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I have met so many people that I have not met in person that are so positive and supportive, and it just shocks me sometimes how strangers can be so loving, and so I know some of that stems from childhood trauma that I have, but I don't want to relive it because I'm not there anymore.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here, I'm 54, I'm here.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I still have some adult trauma, but I don't want that to divine me.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to label it as such.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's denial.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, but what are your thoughts on that?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Have you been told certain things about yourself by friends or toxic, unhealthy people?
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Has somebody said things like, oh, you're not pretty enough, you'll never have a man?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe somebody said, Well, you're stupid, or that's stupid.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe after hearing those things, you started saying it to yourself because where do we learn the behavior?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was kids, maybe it was bullies, maybe it was self-doubt.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's so interesting.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: I like to figure out where things come from.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: I do go to school.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I haven't been to school, I have now put that out there.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I will continue to work on my math behind the scenes, and by age 60, I will have my degree.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: I put that out there yesterday.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: I just decided because I really, really want to get my word out.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing that right now as best as I can without being a therapist, without being licensed.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I took a life coach class, which was just a portion of what I've been through so far in my social work bachelor's degree.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: I have 80 or 90 credits right now.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I don't want to say stuck.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm on algebra.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: And mind you, I'm 54.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: When I was in school, algebra was just starting to happen.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: It really just started, like it wasn't even a requirement before.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna, that's no excuse though.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I can do it, I'm just gonna break it down into steps.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where I want to like encourage other people.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you have something in your mind that you want to do, do it.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Don't think you can't do it.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because let me tell you, you can do more than you ever knew you could.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: I know sometimes it takes your back being against the wall to find that out.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying that's a bad lesson, and I hate that word.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, what lesson did I learn?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, ooh, I don't know why I don't care for that.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe what positive thing did I learn?
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Something about that word, but yeah, I'll have to look that up.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: What did I learn?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've learned over the last year and a half, self-growth, that I am worth it.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I am enough.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to pretend I'm not something I am, and I can be funny and goofy and quirky and just be myself.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And who cares what somebody says?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that goes back to Mel Robbins.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Let them.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: That let them theory has been very helpful.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then let me, she says.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I love Mel.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: This is a plug for Mel Robbins.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: I love you, love you, love you.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: She's amazing.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why I want to do this.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: I want to, you know, I'm not gonna, well, I'm not gonna say I can't get to Mel Robbins status, but what I'm going to say is I want to be the person that encourages people, supports people, and gets that in return.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like there's already enough sadness and difficulties around this world, and people are really can be bullies, as I've seen on a lot of social media.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: So that's ironic because I'm gonna be on social media doing the same, but hopefully counter the bullying.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, so that was the thing that I just had on my mind today, and I know this isn't like a regularly scheduled podcast, but my call to you for this week just maybe take an hour or two and just write down what you said to yourself and even positive too.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: So let's see like how our brains work.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, I want to thank you guys for listening, and you guys have a good week.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna bring you out with a little music.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is Get It Got It Girl, Tina, your transformational coach, emotional intelligence strategist.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here to thank you and help you and support you in any way I can.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Please sit with me and follow my next podcast, my next episode.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: I will be back in a week.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: And if you need something else to listen to, go ahead and look or listen to any of my old pro episodes.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.