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MONEY DIARIES: She's An Egg Donor & An Inspiration · She's On The Money

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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  Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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  Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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  Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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  Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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  Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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  Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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  Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
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  Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on Me, the podcast for
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  Speaker 4: millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another Shop
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  Speaker 4: Back Money Diary Monday, where we get to chat to
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  Speaker 4: one of our community members to learn all about them,
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  Speaker 4: their money, their story, their journey, their life and all
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  Speaker 4: of the fun bits in between.
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  Speaker 2: Victoria, what are you going to say about this one?
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  Speaker 2: Jess go, you have an outstanding.
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  Speaker 5: You.
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  Speaker 2: I am very excited. Should we get straight into it? Yes,
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  Speaker 2: let me tell you what they said? So our diarist wrote,
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  Speaker 2: Kyo or She's on the Money, team.
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  Speaker 5: Hey we friends.
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  Speaker 4: I am a thirty six year old New Zealand Maori,
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  Speaker 4: mother of two, emergency services worker and egg donor. I
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  Speaker 4: am the first on the Marti side to graduate from university.
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  Speaker 4: Growing up, money was very stressful. It was always tight
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  Speaker 4: and argued about often. We were never taught financial literacy
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  Speaker 4: and it made me want to get a good job
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  Speaker 4: or career in order to never have money problems. I
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  Speaker 4: can't wait to share my story with our community.
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  Speaker 2: Epic. Oh my gosh, let's get straight into it, money diarist,
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: welcome to the show. You're hiding in the.
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  Speaker 5: Background, Kurta. Guys, how are you?
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  Speaker 2: We are so well. I'm excited to hear about your
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  Speaker 2: money story. Are you ready to get straight into it?
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  Speaker 5: Absolutely?
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  Speaker 2: All right, let's go. So first question is could you
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  Speaker 2: tell us a little bit about your money story?
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  Speaker 5: Yeah? Absolutely, I've had a bit of a thought about
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  Speaker 5: this growing up. I'm one of five kids and we
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  Speaker 5: grew up in a very small rural town in the
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  Speaker 5: South Island population less than a thousand people and one
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  Speaker 5: income family. So dad worked and he worked very hard.
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  Speaker 5: Money was extremely stressful growing up. It was never talked
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  Speaker 5: about and there are always many arguments about it to
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  Speaker 5: the point where I think all of us kids there
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  Speaker 5: was just so much stress around it, and I knew
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  Speaker 5: that in order to live a life how I wanted,
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  Speaker 5: I needed to get a good career. So back then
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  Speaker 5: I would say very stressful, pessimistic about money. But now
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  Speaker 5: that's obviously change over the last sort of good five years.
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  Speaker 5: Are more positive about money and optimistic. I would say, yeah, so.
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  Speaker 2: You're changing the narrative of where you've been to where
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  Speaker 2: you want to be. Absolutely yeah, I love that all right, Well,
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  Speaker 2: share with us the pervy details money, durist. What do
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  Speaker 2: you do for work? How much money do you earn?
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  Speaker 5: Okay, I am a paramedic and I'm part time and
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  Speaker 5: I'm on one hundred and six k.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, very nice. It's also rata because you're part time. Yeah.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's not including super very cool.
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  Speaker 2: I feel like paramedics don't get enough credit like you
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  Speaker 2: guys do such a special job. How epic. Do you
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  Speaker 2: love what you do?
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's challenging and every day is different. Coming up
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  Speaker 5: to twelve years in the job, and obviously the last
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  Speaker 5: couple of years have been stressful for everyone, and this
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  Speaker 5: year in particularly, i've really, really struggled working just with
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  Speaker 5: workload and with what was going on with lockdown, and
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  Speaker 5: then I've had a few family members that died as well,
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  Speaker 5: and I've ended up having to take a good eight
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  Speaker 5: weeks off work. I was burnt out, and I ended
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  Speaker 5: up having to see a psychologist, which I still see.
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  Speaker 5: She's fantastic, and she said, you know you need time off.
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  Speaker 5: You either go down work cover or we use yes
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  Speaker 5: siically she goes, because I don't want you to get
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  Speaker 5: to a point where it's too late, where you've gone
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  Speaker 5: past that exhaustion and you're off work and you can't
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  Speaker 5: get back on road. Because she said that she's got
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  Speaker 5: paramedics that have had two years off road and they
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  Speaker 5: can't get back on road because they just went past
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  Speaker 5: the point of exhaustion and burnout. And so at a
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  Speaker 5: much better place. Now, I'm back at work, and yeah,
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  Speaker 5: feeling better, but I'm still seeing the psychologists.
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  Speaker 2: Oh I'm glad, like I'm glad that you got to
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  Speaker 2: pick it up as early as that, because you do
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  Speaker 2: hear about people in our frontline roles that just get
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  Speaker 2: so burnt out. But I also just don't think, you know,
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  Speaker 2: this is maybe another stereotype jest that we need to break.
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  Speaker 2: But I just feel like people in those roles care
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  Speaker 2: so much about other people that when it comes to
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  Speaker 2: caring for themselves they just don't reach out for the
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  Speaker 2: help when they need it. And it's like, well, guys,
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  Speaker 2: like you need more support than anybody, Like you're carrying
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  Speaker 2: the weight of the world and so much trauma that
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  Speaker 2: other people go through on you. Like, it just makes
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  Speaker 2: sense that burnout would be a very real reality. However,
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  Speaker 2: we just need to identify it earlier and give ourselves
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  Speaker 2: the self care and the space to get through that.
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  Speaker 2: So I'm glad that you're back on the road. That's
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  Speaker 2: so exciting. We're so lucky.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, and you're absolutely right and normalize it by
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  Speaker 5: talking about it. I took very openly to any of
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  Speaker 5: my colleagues that I'm working with, because all of us
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  Speaker 5: need help at some stage. All of us do. And yeah,
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  Speaker 5: like I talked to my family about it. Whereas you know,
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  Speaker 5: growing up, mental health was another thing that was never
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  Speaker 5: talked about. It was everything was sweet under the rugue.
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  Speaker 2: It's just not helpful, No, it absolutely isn't. All right. Next,
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  Speaker 2: I would like to know, my friend, what's your big
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  Speaker 2: money goal.
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  Speaker 5: So my husband and I are very fortunate that we
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  Speaker 5: already own a house. That our big money goal because
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  Speaker 5: he's also a paramedic and so we've got some long
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  Speaker 5: service leave. So we're planning in twenty twenty five to
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  Speaker 5: take a year off and live overseas. So we'll about
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  Speaker 5: to do half pay for some of it and will
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  Speaker 5: have some annual leave. So a year off living overseas
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  Speaker 5: with our two kids.
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  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that's so exciting. Where are you going?
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  Speaker 5: Tell us more a typical our fashion. We're very disorganized,
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  Speaker 5: but we have the plan of basing ourselves in Italy.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, you're living my dream.
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  Speaker 5: We're so privileged, Like I can't even comprehend how very
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  Speaker 5: lucky we are, and we both know this, so very fortunate.
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  Speaker 5: Our kids are very very lucky as well.
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  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, my friend, we need to reframe
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  Speaker 2: that actually, because you just said you're really lucky. But
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  Speaker 2: what you told me is you have this plan that
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  Speaker 2: you're working towards, and you're working really hard to do that.
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  Speaker 2: I don't actually think luck comes into it. I think
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  Speaker 2: that what you're going to achieve is because of your
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  Speaker 2: hard work and determination and the fact that you guys
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  Speaker 2: are killing it. So if we could just see it
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  Speaker 2: that way, like my friend Lucky is finding two dollars
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  Speaker 2: on the ground, it's not working so that in twenty
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  Speaker 2: twenty five you can live a year in Italy.
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  Speaker 5: Appreciate that. Thank you.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, let's move on to the next question.
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  Speaker 2: I want to know do you have any investments? If so,
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  Speaker 2: what are they?
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  Speaker 5: Absolutely so super The last time I checked that, which
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  Speaker 5: is probably I think four months ago, it was at
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  Speaker 5: one hundred and fifty k oh, good work, Yeah, very
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  Speaker 5: very lucky. And then I also have started the last
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  Speaker 5: couple of years investing in shares, so I made sure
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  Speaker 5: I did a lot of reading up on that before
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  Speaker 5: I sort of dip my toes. But that at the moment,
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  Speaker 5: I think is at thirty five k.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, very nice. Can you tell me a little bit
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  Speaker 2: more about that, though I'm really pervy, I wouldn't know.
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  Speaker 2: How did you get into the market, what made you
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  Speaker 2: take that next step, and how did you pick the
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  Speaker 2: asset that worked best for you?
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  Speaker 5: Absolutely so. I love to read and knowledge is power,
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  Speaker 5: So I just read a lot of financial books, a
• 9:01
  Speaker 5: lot to kind of remember in particular which ones, and
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: also podcasts She's on the Money, of course.
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  Speaker 2: And this season about ego stroking. I literally want to
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  Speaker 2: know because as women like, it's so hard to take
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  Speaker 2: that next step to go. I've read, I've listened, Like
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  Speaker 2: you know, there are even people in my team that
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: are like Victoria, I hear from you all the time.
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  Speaker 2: I'm just still analysis paralysis, and I don't know how
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  Speaker 2: to go onto actually purchasing my first share. So no,
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  Speaker 2: it's not about did you listen to She's on the Money,
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  Speaker 2: It's like, how do you do it? Please share? We
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  Speaker 2: want to know.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think for me, you've just got to work
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: out what's works best for you. So I'm just like,
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: I don't want to overwhelm myself with which platform is
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  Speaker 5: the right platform. So I ended up just going with Comsick.
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  Speaker 5: I just made a decision years. Some of their fees
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  Speaker 5: are a little bit high in terms of compared to
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  Speaker 5: other platforms, but I was like, I'll do it. And
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: then researching about good standard blow chip stocks ETFs I
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  Speaker 5: really liked, and I would just sort of read into
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: them as well, and you know what to look for.
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  Speaker 5: I'm not going to be picking random stocks that I
• 10:08
  Speaker 5: don't know what they are or you know someone's given
• 10:11
  Speaker 5: you a tip on what stock is going to be
• 10:15
  Speaker 5: the best, So the majority like the S and P.
• 10:18
  Speaker 5: Five hundred. Of course, obviously that's Warren Buffett. He was
• 10:23
  Speaker 5: a huge influence too, as well as the very dry
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: financial book, which I think you recommended I'd read a
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  Speaker 5: while ago. I forget the name of the Intelligent Investor.
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  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I did recommend that My favorite dry book
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: is actually the Richest Man in Babylon. But you know
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  Speaker 2: I'll read them for you. Guys. We did actually a
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: recap a couple of months ago on the podcast of
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  Speaker 2: my favorite book, so you didn't have to read them,
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  Speaker 2: but I'm glad you did, my friend.
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  Speaker 5: Yes, it's very dry. It can also put you to
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: sleep at times.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Good night time reading. I reckon, if you can't sleep,
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: pop that book beside your bed. Promise you won't suffer
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: from insomnia again.
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  Speaker 5: Exactly. I agree. So yeah, I just really a lot
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: of my own research and reading, and I just thought,
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  Speaker 5: you know what, I'll do one thousand dollar lots and
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: just I started off, I think which was my first year,
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: probably an ETF of some point or a listed investment company,
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  Speaker 5: and I know that they're good sort of standard stocks
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  Speaker 5: and then just reinvest the dividends. Yeah what a queen.
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  Speaker 2: I love that. Thank you for sharing. All right, next question,
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  Speaker 2: my love, do you have any debts? If so, what
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  Speaker 2: are they?
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  Speaker 5: Yeah? Absolutely, obviously the mortgage, which I think is at
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  Speaker 5: four hundred K at the moment, and no consumer debt.
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  Speaker 5: We got rid of that quite a few years ago,
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: paid out of cars and all of that. But I
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: have my student loan from New Zealand and I should
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: have paid it off years ago. But yeah, look there
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  Speaker 5: were a few years where you know, just wasn't paying
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  Speaker 5: and then paying minimum you know, the interest. So I've
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  Speaker 5: actually made a goal for myself to pay it out
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  Speaker 5: by June next year. I've already got sixteen K set
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  Speaker 5: aside because I think it's at thirty one K, and
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  Speaker 5: I'll just knock that out of the park. Yep.
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  Speaker 2: How exciting. I love that you've got a plan for it.
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  Speaker 2: I feel like that's yeah, No, that's really exciting because
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  Speaker 2: I feel like sometimes when we have outstanding debts, especially
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: ones that we've been putting off for a long time,
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: we just stick our head in the sand and we'll
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, I just keep chipping away at it.
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  Speaker 2: Like it'll go away one day, like and you've got
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  Speaker 2: a plan and you know when it's going to happen,
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: and you kind of smiled all the way through that,
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  Speaker 2: so it's not even worrying that much, which I love.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that I know I should have had
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  Speaker 5: it knocked out years ago.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: Anyway, that's all right, That is all right. Well let's
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: talk about maybe our money. When do you use shop back?
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: I do, yes, I think I've got fifty dollars in
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: there at the moment.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: Free money. We love you love that.
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  Speaker 5: What I've been doing is ordering the likes of Foods
• 13:00
  Speaker 5: or muscle Shift. They're really handy meals to take.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Oh there were meals on there too.
• 13:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, oh you're.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: Much smarter than me. I hadn't even thought about that.
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  Speaker 2: I knew that, like supermarkets were on there, so that's
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: a good money win, but I didn't know you could
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: order meal delivery serve. I learned something new every time
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I ask that question, honestly.
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  Speaker 5: Awesome.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: All right, speaking about money wins, I want to know
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  Speaker 2: what is your best money habit.
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  Speaker 5: When I set goals, I get that tunnel vision and
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: I'll do it. So for example, like I've said, I've
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: set this goal of paying out my student loan and
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: I'll no, I'll do it by June. So yeah, get
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: that sort of determination and tunnel vision and just do it.
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  Speaker 2: I love that. Let's flip the narrative for a hot second.
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  Speaker 2: What's your worst money habit?
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  Speaker 5: I can take money out of savings sometimes, well not
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: sometimes I might do it a bit too often. Then
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  Speaker 5: I want to like, oh, I'll just take out a
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: bit of money, And it's generally to spend on food. Yeah,
• 14:06
  Speaker 5: like takeaways, and so yeah, that's probably the worst one
• 14:13
  Speaker 5: at the moment.
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  Speaker 2: That is not too bad if I do say so myself,
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: also because I get it if it's for snacks. That
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  Speaker 2: story adds up. Last question before we go to a
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: really quick break. What grade would you give yourself if
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: we forced you to give yourself a money grade?
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  Speaker 5: I think it would be a solid B. We're on
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: the way to being very financially stable. Yeah, I like that.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: What would you have to do to get.
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: To an A? To get to an A? I would
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: have to have the student loan knocked out and maybe
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: the mortgage reduced. But we've already got our emergency fund,
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: so I feel yeah that that's not a problem, but
• 14:57
  Speaker 5: it's yeah, just those other things.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that dune next year you're an a
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: then that makes sense. Story checks out. Let's go to
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: a quick break because after the break, I really want
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: to dive back into your money story. Don't go anywhere, guys.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: All right, we are back and money diarist. I feel
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: like you've got a really interesting money story, and we
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: touched on it at the start of the structured questions,
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: but I want to dive back into it because you
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: said that growing up, your parents argued a lot about money,
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: and I feel like we all do that in different ways,
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: shapes and forms. But as a younger human, what did
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: you take from that, Like, did you feel it was
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: just an overwhelming sense of anxiety or with the specific
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: money issues they argued about. And I guess how does
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: that now trail into the conversations you have with your
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: partner about money?
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah? Really good question. It was definitely a lot of anxiety.
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: I think the un known as to what our situation was,
• 16:01
  Speaker 5: whether we could afford to still rent where we were
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: or oh look, there was always food, we always had
• 16:11
  Speaker 5: a roof over our head, and typical small town community
• 16:15
  Speaker 5: like there's always support from the community and we had
• 16:19
  Speaker 5: a lot of families, so that very privileged in that respect.
• 16:23
  Speaker 5: But I feel like for a long time into my
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: twenties as well, still held on to that anxiety. So
• 16:33
  Speaker 5: even when I was working, wasn't fantastic with money because
• 16:39
  Speaker 5: we weren't taught about it, so basically spending all that
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: we earned or not thinking about my future self in
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: terms of putting money aside because it wasn't we didn't
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: learn about it, and it was you know, you got money,
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: you spent it, basically. So I think think for especially
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: my sister and I, we always knew that we needed
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: to get good jobs, good careers as a way of
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: ending that cycle of being financially and stable. I guess,
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: so that was my first step. But with this good
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: career and e earning decent money, that doesn't mean that
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: you know what to do with money and that you're
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: going to be financially stable independent.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, do you still feel anxious when people ask about
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: money or talk about money, like where are your feelings
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: at on this?
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: A little bit? I think that's over the years that's
• 17:39
  Speaker 5: actually reduced because when we paid out our car loans
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: and we had a credit card and there was another
• 17:48
  Speaker 5: that we had that anxiety started to go away, and
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: it's amazing that the weight that's lifted off your shoulders
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: by doing those things. So I feel that a lot
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: of that anxiety has gone for sure because we don't
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: have that consumer debt. We have a really decent emergency fund,
• 18:08
  Speaker 5: we have good soupers, and we have a goal as
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: to what we're doing in terms of investing for our future.
• 18:16
  Speaker 5: So yeah, i'd say that I don't have that anxiety now.
• 18:23
  Speaker 5: I can still in my mind think about when we
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: grew up and not ever wanting to be in that situation.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that is so fair, And I feel like this
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: is a really common narrative in our community where it's
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: an underlying anxiety, you've grown up with it, you're not
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: really sure how to reframe it, but you're starting to
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: take positive steps towards creating a secure financial future, and
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: then I feel like there's a bit of an ah
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: moment where you go, this is how I can do that,
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: and that anxiety dissipates. You mentioned before, we now have
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: our emergency fund. I want to know about your emergency fund.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: Have you always had one? If not, how, when, where, why,
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: and what's in it, and how did you decide how
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: much needed to be in it?
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah, good question, because I find this fascinating. Everyone's emergency
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: fund amount will always be different. So from what I've read,
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: the information is anywhere from three to six months of
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: living expenses. Some people might do it as their three
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: to six months wage, but for us, I think I
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: set the minimum of twenty five K. So we have
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: twenty five k in there at the moment.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: Very nas very nice, very healthy.
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: And we're just letting that. Each fortnight we get paid,
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: I think two hundred to fortnite goes into that and
• 19:45
  Speaker 5: we'll just leat that keet trickling away.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: I love that. Why are you continuing to contribute to
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: your emergency fund? Do you feel like there's not enough
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: in there? Or have you picked an amount like did
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: you go, I want twenty five k because it covers
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: three months worth of expenses? Is this the number that
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: just makes you feel really comfy?
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Where is it at?
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: That's a good question. I know. I think I see
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: goals in terms of so, you know, twenty five k,
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: and then you're like, oh, I could see that to
• 20:11
  Speaker 5: be higher. But I think if there's always a minimum
• 20:13
  Speaker 5: of twenty five K. Happy with that, and I think
• 20:17
  Speaker 5: any excess in there, I think I'll just put into shares.
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: So yeah, I like that.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: I don't mind that you're keeping on contributing to that.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: That's not a bad thing. I just want to know
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: people's mentality around it, because it's interesting having had a
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: conversation this week with someone who's like, oh, I don't
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: really need it, I've got a credit card, and I'm like, ah,
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: that gives me mad anxiety. But different things work for
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: different people. And as much as you know I would
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: love love love love love and genuinely believe every single
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: human needs an emergency fund, my job is actually to
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: educate you on all the options and then you make
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: the best one for you. And if you've decided that's it,
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: then that's all good. But my gosh, that would give
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: me mad anxiety not knowing that I have some cash
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: stashed away for a rainy day.
• 21:02
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, yeah, I agree.
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: I wanted to ask you about something that you mentioned
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: in your writing. You said you're an emergency services worker
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: and an egg donor, and I liked that you put
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: it there because I feel like it kind of signaled
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: to me that that was something that was really important
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: to you. So I wanted to know more about why
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: you made that decision, why you wanted to be an
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: egg donor have there been any costs associated with that,
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: because if I'm being honest, it's not something that I
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: know a lot about, but I would really like to
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: know how does that work.
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's a very long story, so I'll try to
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: convince it. When my husband and I decided to try
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: for a family, were very realistic, I guess, probably because
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: of the job we do in terms of we talked about, okay,
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: so what happens if we can't conceive naturally? What are
• 21:51
  Speaker 5: our options? So you know, we talked about IVF, we
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: talked about other fertility treatments. What if that can't happen,
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: what about donation from another woman? Adoption? All that. So
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: we're very realistic. And also I said to my husband,
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: and this is back I think twenty thirteen or fourteen,
• 22:11
  Speaker 5: when I was sort of looking into starting a family,
• 22:14
  Speaker 5: that one of my brothers is gay. He lives in
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: London with his partner, and I said that if he
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: ever wanted to have a family, I would hope someone
• 22:26
  Speaker 5: would donate the eggs to them, and egg donation is
• 22:31
  Speaker 5: something that I would like to do, provided I could
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: have my own family, because it's such a special gift.
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: Having children is incredible. And if I could do that
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: for someone else, knowing that, you know, someone might do
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: that for my brother and his partner if they wanted kids.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you are such a special human. My gosh, A paramedic,
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: someone who cares that much about other family, That is wild.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: I love it. Were there any close associated with that
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: for you?
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah? So then we fast forward to twenty seventeen and
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: my husband found an online article for look at an
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: Ossie couple, a New Zealand Maori and a Ossie couple
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: looking for a Maori egg donor, and they weren't getting
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: anywhere because obviously it's very narrow.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah that's niche, that's it. But that has your name
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: all written on it.
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: So my husband's like, oh, what do you think? And
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh do you think I because you know,
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: obviously the young are the better quality your eggs are.
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: And at that stage I was thirty one, and I
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: know I'm I'm not old, but obviously you know your
• 23:43
  Speaker 5: quality of eggs and your number of eggs starts reducing,
• 23:46
  Speaker 5: especially after thirty five and he's like, no, no, I said,
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: you know what, Yeah, let's email and just throw basically
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: throw my hat in the ring. And so sent an
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: email saying who I was and about my family, what
• 23:59
  Speaker 5: I did do, what tribe I descend from in New Zealand,
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: and yeah, just a bit of information. And it felt
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: good knowing that there would be you know, I thought, yeah,
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: there'd be other women that would have done the same.
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: And the boys, as I call them, that had an
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: overwhelming response from women in New Zealand and Australia of
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: special descent and I think over seventy women and yeah, look,
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: and I don't think if all of those women met
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: the criteria in terms of age and things like that,
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: but I think my email was lucky last, which caught
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: their eye as well. And so it was a bit
• 24:36
  Speaker 5: of a process for them to sort of filter through
• 24:39
  Speaker 5: everything and they sort of narrowed it down and it
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: ended up having skype chats with I think they sort
• 24:45
  Speaker 5: of narrowed it down to five women and then from
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: there we had to go to our GPS and get
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: blood tests because they can do like our blood test,
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: it's an anti miller and hormone blood test, which basically
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: can look at how many eggs you've got left, So
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: obviously you want to pick a candidate that's got a
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: good range of eggs. The process from there, so then
• 25:07
  Speaker 5: I think there from there there was a couple of
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: women that didn't quite meet that good criteria and then
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: it came down to sort of a personal decision for
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: them both and which they spoke with their families and
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: they ended up picking me, which is in the end
• 25:25
  Speaker 5: I was just happy that they had someone. And so
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: in Australia, so obviously egg donation Saragac's firm donation is
• 25:36
  Speaker 5: not commercial, meaning you don't get paid for it, so
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: you know, you hear of it.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: In America they do.
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: They do, that's right, So it's an altruistic.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: You do it because you're a kind human.
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, and so basically what is covered so the boys
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: will pay everything associated with the process, so that the IVY,
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: if medications, the GP visits, that the blood tests, the
• 26:05
  Speaker 5: going getting the ultrasounds, the flights up to because they're
• 26:08
  Speaker 5: based in Queensland, the flights up to Queensland for the
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: egg retrieval, the accommodation, the food, any days that I
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: had to take or work all covered for I mean,
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: they treated me like an absolute queen and we have
• 26:23
  Speaker 5: a fantastic relationship, all all of us. And I mean
• 26:26
  Speaker 5: so my husband and the boys. So they I've actually
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: done IVF twice for them and they have a little girl.
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: How special, Yes, and they're looking at doing another transfer soon.
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: That's a little girl. She's just over to now and
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: I have met her, and you just don't know how
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: you're going to feel because she's come from me.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: She's genetically part of you.
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, that's right. But it was because I'm known
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: as Auntie, which's a very endearble germ as well in
• 27:02
  Speaker 5: our culture. And it was beautiful, Like it was emotional
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: obviously when I met her, but not like I didn't
• 27:10
  Speaker 5: feel like I needed to take her home and that
• 27:12
  Speaker 5: she was mine. It was just yeah, she's.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: Just a very special little girl.
• 27:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, oh that.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: Is so special because you always, like people talk about
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: egg donation as being something that is so you know,
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: altruistic and so kind and special. But then there's you know,
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: maybe that flip side of going, well, what if I
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: meet this child and I feel like that's my child,
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: like because quite literally genetically they've come from you. But oh,
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: I love that. I love that for you and seeing
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: that come full circle. Does that mean that there will
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: be another baby at some point that is related to
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: you in that family?
• 27:51
  Speaker 5: I hope so, so they look at yourself. Obviously they
• 27:54
  Speaker 5: have a surrogate and I haven't met her yet, that
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: she's also another beautiful person. So hopefully looking at doing
• 28:03
  Speaker 5: a transfer, the first transfer this month, so with their
• 28:07
  Speaker 5: daughter that they have at the moment that she was
• 28:10
  Speaker 5: the fourth transfers to the fourth embryo that took.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: Wow, that is honestly so special. I want to ask, though,
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: would you do that for other families or are you like, no,
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: this was just one that's enough, Like or is this
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: something that you'll continue to do? Like how does this
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: stuff work? Because I can imagine that ivf's really taxing
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: on your body.
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's a really good question because I find it
• 28:33
  Speaker 5: all fascinating too. And each state has their own different laws.
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: So for me personally, for me, it was always going
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: to be I had to have a connection with a couple,
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: and for me, it's always been that I would donate
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: to one couple, whereas I know that other women have
• 28:52
  Speaker 5: donated to multiple couples. And I believe in Victoria the
• 28:57
  Speaker 5: law as you can only donate eight to ten women,
• 29:02
  Speaker 5: I believe. I think New South Wales might be five
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: donate to five couples. And I think they're actually they
• 29:09
  Speaker 5: include your own children in that. Oh well really, yeah,
• 29:14
  Speaker 5: I'm not quite clear on that. Yeah, so that's my
• 29:16
  Speaker 5: personal science. Other women might yeah, be more than happy
• 29:21
  Speaker 5: to donate to multiple couples.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, how special, Oh my gosh, And I want to
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: be really pervy. Is your brother going to have a
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: baby at any point? Is that some route that he
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: wants to go down?
• 29:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah? I know, I hope so. So he lives in
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: London with his beautiful partner, and look, they both adore
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: their nieces and nephews. Got a niece and nephew in
• 29:47
  Speaker 5: England as well, And it might it might be I
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: will have to ask him, because he'd be very upfront,
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: he wouldn't mind me asking it all. But I mean,
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: I just want him and his partner to get married.
• 29:59
  Speaker 5: I want to You're like, I want to go with
• 30:01
  Speaker 5: a wedding.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: I want to have a party. I like your partner
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: lock it down? How exciting? Oh my gosh. You are
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: honestly such a special human being, in your work, in
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: your life, in the things you do for others. I
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: am so glad you are part of our community. How
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: lucky are we?
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: I appreciate this, thank you.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, But Jess, I do think that is
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: sadly all we have time for today. So Jess, why
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: don't you wrap the boring but important stuff? Of course,
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: don't forget, guys, that the advice sheared on She's on
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: the money is generally in nature and does not consider
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: your individual circumstances. She's on the money exists purely for
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: an investment or a financial decision. And we promise Victoria
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: divine and She's on the money are authorized representatives of
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: Infocused Securities Australia Proprietary Limited ABN four seven oh nine
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: seven seven nine seven fort nine AFSL two three six
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: five two three. We'll see you on Wednesday. Eyes sigh