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Is This Going to Happen to Me Too? · My Sexy Menopause Body

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is MySexy Menopause Body with Kim Nicholson.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Real conversations about your health, your choices, and how you want to live after Menopause.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever looked at your mom and dad and had a thought you felt a little guilty for thinking?
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: And that thought is, is this gonna happen to me too?
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, maybe your mom has started forgetting things, or maybe your dad had a heart attack, or maybe diabetes runs through your family like a thread, or maybe you've watched someone you love slowly getting weaker.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe they stopped driving, maybe they lost their balance, getting out of a chair turned out to be a whole production along with noises.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: And somewhere in the middle of worrying about them, you know what?
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: You start worrying about yourself too.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: Is that gonna happen to me in 10 years or 20 years?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Or has it even already started?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: I know that thought because I had it recently, and it changed something for me.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um not because I got scared of aging, but because I understood something that I wish every woman knew: that what you see in your family is information about your future, but it's not a prediction of your future, and there's a huge difference between the two, and that's what this today's episode is all about.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, I'm Kim Nicholson, and this is my sexy menopause body, where we talk about your health, your body, and you know what it takes to keep living fully after menopause.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: So today is a personal one.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: If you've if you have aging parents or you've already lost them, you've probably started looking at their health a little differently, right?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Not just as their daughter, but as someone quietly asking, you know, what does their story mean for my story?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: And what can I actually do about it if there is anything you could do about it?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about that.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: So here's a moment that I just saw myself.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: A few weeks ago, I noticed my mom started shuffling her feet when she walks.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: It was nothing dramatic.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: She didn't fall, thank goodness.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: There was no big medical event, her stride just looked different to me.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I've known her for 60 some years, and I've never seen her walk that way before.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: And do you know where my mind went almost immediately?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: It went to me.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, I happened to catch myself walking on video.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: I had my husband doing a video for me, and I and as I walked past the camera, I started going, oh, I wasn't shuffling my feet like my mom, but my gate didn't look the way I expected it to.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, oh wow, is this starting with me too?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: But then I had two choices right there.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: I could, you know, like some people do, shrug their shoulders and say, Well, I guess this is gonna happen.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's genetic, it's age, it's it's coming for me, and there's nothing I can do.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: Or the more powerful thought is I can get curious about this.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I chose, I'm gonna get curious about this.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: I stop, I stopped studying my mom and started studying myself.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's a big difference.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I knew that she was starting to shuffle her feet.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: There are things that I can help her, and I'm things that I'm doing today to help her, but I started studying myself, and this is what I want you to do too.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: Start asking your things like, okay, how flexible am I really, honestly?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: And you got to be totally honest with yourself.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Where in my body do I feel tightness?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: Is it in my hips?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Is it my neck, is it my knees or my ankles?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, am I moving through my hips the way I used to?
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, am I sitting too much?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: And that's something that I think a lot of us do, is sitting will have um will cause some gait issues.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: So have I been so focused on my strength training?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because that, you know, I do that three to five times a week, but am I focused so much on strength training that I let my mobility work slide?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, maybe I did.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: What's going on with my posture, my angles, my stride?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: And here's what came out of all of that.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: I am now deliberately building more mobility and flexibility work into my training.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm paying attention to my tight muscles, I'm paying attention to how I walk, but hear the distinction.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't diagnose myself from a video clip, and I didn't decide that because my mom shuffles, I'm going to too.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: I noticed.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: I gathered information and then I responded.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's not predicting your future, that's participating in your future.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we confuse these two all the time.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: So your parents can become a mere, and here's something, something strange that happens as our parents age.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: You can deeply worry about them, and then you know, quietly you're studying them.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you notice that your mom, you know, forgets a name and you think, oh my gosh, I forgot that person's name yesterday.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: What is their name?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, my mom's doing it, and I and I did it yesterday.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: Or your dad gets diagnosed with diabetes too, and suddenly you're trying to remember your last glucose number.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: What was that glucose number?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then your mom has trouble getting up off the floor, and you wonder, could I do that without using my hands or making those noises?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: You're that's exactly right when I thought.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: Your mom has trouble getting up off the floor.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Could I do that without using my hands?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: So guess what?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: I tried it.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: I thankfully I could still do it, but that's completely human.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: But here's where I want you to be careful because there's a world of difference between these two sentences here.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the sentences.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to listen to these.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: This happened in my family, so I should pay attention.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: Or this happened in my family, so it's going to happen to me.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: The first one gives you useful information, right?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: And the second one hands over your future because you before you even lived it.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I want you to think of a flashlight and a fortune teller here because I I kind of like this analogy.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: I used to think of my family, you know, my family history like a check checklist on a doctor's intake form, you know, all right.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: So when you go to a doctor's office, you have to answer, you know, medical history for your family.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes even go back to your grandparents.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: So if I looked at it in diabetes, okay, check.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Heart disease, check, dementia, check.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I think about it differently.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: I use my family history as a flashlight, but it's not a fortune teller.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: A flashlight says, Oh, let's look over here.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: What do we have here?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: And a fortune teller says, here's what's gonna happen.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: Those are not the same thing.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: So let's shine that flashlight on a few of the big ones, okay?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about some of the big ones that you can control or you have a very good chance of controlling.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: So type 2 diabetes, risk can move.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: So type 2 diabetes runs in my family.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: I've known it for years, and it shapes a lot of my choices.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Not because I want to wake up terrified every morning because I don't, but because I know this is an area where I need to pay attention.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I do check my blood work, I do strength training because muscle is one of your biggest players in managing blood sugar, right?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: I pay close attention to what I eat and how I sleep and how I handle stress.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, stress matters.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: And here's what I find so encouraging.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: In the landmark diabetes prevention program, adults at high risk for type 2 diabetes who made intensive lifestyle changes, you know, cut out their chances of developing diabetes 2 by about 58% compared with placebo.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: And in participants 60 and older, that was what it was.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: It was about 71%.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, that's not a guarantee.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: And if someone develops diabetes, it didn't mean that you failed.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely not.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: What it means is this risk is not fixed, risk can move.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to say something really important here because this conversation this conversation so often shrinks down to, I'll just lose weight, or that's oversimplification.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: Or you can because you can be thin and develop type 2 diabetes as well.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: You can be active and develop it.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, genetics and metabolism play real roles in your life.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: So if diabetes runs in your family, please don't look in the mirror and decide you're fine because you're not overweight.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Know your numbers.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: Talk to your healthcare provider, then focus on what makes sense for your body.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: For me, that's muscle, it's movement, my overall eating pattern, and of course sleep.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: And guess what?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: I keep learning.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not obsessing, I'm learning, and there's a difference.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: So the next one let's talk about very common is heart disease.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: So know what belongs to you.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe your dad had a heart attack, or maybe everyone in your family seems to be in high blood pressure medicine medication.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, family history does matter here.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: But look at what the American Heart Association calls life, life's essential eight, the eight core measures of heart health.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: And here they are: what you eat, physical activity, nicotine exposure, sleep, weight, cholesterol, blood sugar, and blood pressure.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: All right, I'm gonna read that list again because it is so important.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: Again, it's from the American Heart Association, and they call it, and I love this, they call it life's essential eight.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, they again, they are these are the eight core measures that measures heart health.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Again, what you eat, physical activity, nicotine exposure, sleep, weight, cholesterol, blood sugar, and blood pressure.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: Almost every item on it is something you can measure.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: So discuss this with your doctor or you know, influence it with your daily habits starting right now.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, can someone nail all eight and still develop heart disease?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yes, because that's biology.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: But there's a huge gap between I can't control everything and nothing I do matters.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: So those sentences are to me miles apart.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: And when my clients use them, I ask them, how many miles do you see between those two sentences?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: And too many of us live as if the second one is true just because the first one is, all right?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe it's not a disease that you're afraid of.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes what scares us when we watch our parents isn't a diagnosis at all.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's watching them lose their ability to move through the world.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's why my mom's walking caught my attention.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: I can care deeply about independence and think about how much your life depends on movement, right?
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: Getting out of a chair or you're walking across a parking lot, uh, even stepping off of curb or, you know, carrying your groceries or getting down on the floor to play with your grandkids or your puppies.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then you got to get back up again, right?
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: And then catching yourself when you trip, you know, balance, strength, and mobility, they're not glamorous things to do, but if you lose them, then they become so important in your life.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: Then they're everything.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: And falls just aren't a part of getting older.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: A major review found that exercise programs, especially those focused on balance and functional movements, reduce the rate of falls in older adults by 23%.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: Strength training, medication reviews, removing hazards at home, and checking your bone health all play an important role in that too.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: So when I started, when I saw my mom shuffling, I didn't want to turn it into fear.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: I but I did turn it into a question.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: And the question I ask myself is, Kim, what in my own body right now deserves attention right now?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe something you notice too.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: Noticing isn't paranoia, all right?
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: Noticing is an opportunity.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's how I look at it.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: Now, another one, osteoporosis.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's a big one.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: So osteoporosis is very quiet.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: If you have osteopenia, you you probably were diagnosed when you went to get a mammogram and got a bone scan, and maybe they had told you that you know you have osteopenia or osteoporosis, and you don't feel like because you know what's happening with osteopeniaurosis is that you don't feel your bone density dropping.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, nothing really changes in your body.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: Your bones don't text you and say, hey, for your information, we need to talk because something, sometimes there's this, you know, sometimes the first sign of osteoporosis is a fracture.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: So if you've watched your mom or your grandma lose height or break a hip or develop a hunch back, please don't file it under that's just what happens.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: Current US Preventative Services Task Force guidelines recommend bone density screening for all women 65 and older and for postmenopausal women under 65 who are at increased fracture risk.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so family history of hip fracture is one of those risks.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe your family history uh is the nudge to ask for a DEXA scan.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it changes the conversation with your doctor, maybe it's the reason you keep, you know, lifting.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's family history doing its job for you.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, here's one that scares so many of us as well: dementia.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: And deep breath.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: This one is personal for a lot of families.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to be careful and honest here.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: We do not have a way to guarantee that anyone will avoid dementia.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: I wish we did.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: And if dementia has touched your family, you probably want certainty more than anything else in the world, and I know that.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: You want someone to hand you a checklist and say, okay, do all these seven things and you're okay.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that checklist doesn't exist, and you would think that it does on social media, but there is hope.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: And but here's what it does do.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: In 2024, the Lancet Commission on Dementia identified 14, 14 modifiable risk factors and estimated that addressing them could potentially prevent or delay nearly half of dementia cases worldwide.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, that's a population estimate, not a personal promise, okay?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: But the list is worth knowing.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it's things like managing again, these are very familiar, it's very similar to the top eight, right?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, but there are 14 of them, so here they are.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: Manage your blood pressure.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: So knowing that number, your do you know your cholesterol numbers, your diet and diabetes numbers, staying physically active, oh, and treating hearing and vision loss?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's also a part of this, and not smoking, limiting your alcohol, um, addressing depression, or and staying socially connected and protecting your head from injury.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: Does doing those things guarantee you'll never develop dementia?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: But here's a sentence I keep coming back to.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: No guarantee does not mean no influence.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: I don't need certainty before I take care of myself, and neither do you.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, here's something we don't talk enough about.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: You share your parents' genes.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: You don't share your, you don't share their life.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: You share their genes, their DNA.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: Your mom's health at 80 reflects her genetics, yes.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: But also decades of her individual food, movement, stress, sleep, pregnancies, illnesses, medication, work, relationships, you know, maybe they smoked or, you know, drank alcohol, excessive alcohol, the health care she had access to in her lifetime, and the medical knowledge available in their lifetime.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: You didn't live those decades.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: So even siblings raised in your same house end up with very different health, right?
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: So think about that.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: Think about your siblings if you've got them.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: So when you look at your mother and think you're looking at a photograph of yourself at 80, you've skipped most of the story.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: Your parents can give you clues, your parents cannot give you a photograph of your future.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes, guess what?
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: We inherit a script.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes what gets passed down isn't just genetic risk, it's belief.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: All the women in our family get diabetes.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's I've heard clients say that, or I've heard we all have bad knees, or we all get heavier as we get older.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: You've heard those lines.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: Come on.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just me and my clients that have heard those, but you've heard them too, I'm sure.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe you've even said one yourself, and without realizing family observation turns into your family identity.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a difference between there's a family history of diabetes in my family and we're a diabetic family.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: One is information, and the other one starts to feel like your destiny, right?
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: You can inherit a risk without inheriting the script.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: So, what is the process I use now?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: So, what do I actually do when something in my family worries me?
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: My family history worries me, I should say.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: I have a four-step process and I want to give it to you.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: Step one, notice it.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: I don't look away because it's uncomfortable.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: My mom's gait changed and I noticed it.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: You can't use information you refuse to look at.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so notice it.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: Step two, I get curious before I start getting scared.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because fear asks, what if this is going to happen to me?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: But my curiosity asks, what would be useful for me to know?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: Huh.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: What does the research say?
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: Which risk factors apply to me?
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: And what can I change?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: And do I need a screening?
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Those two questions lead to completely different behavior changes.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: Step three is look at yourself.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: Look not at your mom, not the woman on Instagram.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: Your numbers, your habits, your sleep, your strength, your mobility, your healthcare team.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: Your plan should be built around your actual risk, not somebody else's.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: Look at you.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then step four is make it a part of your life.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not your full-time job.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want you to wake up every morning going, oh, must prevent diabetes, must prevent heart disease, must prevent dementia.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: No, thank you.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: I strength train because that's what I do.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: I move every day because that's what I do.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: Beans, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, and seeds are just part of what I eat.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I protect my sleep and I know my numbers.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I go to my appointments.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: And then guess what?
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: I live my life.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: And don't let research turn into worry because once you start learning about risk, you can make yourself absolutely crazy.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we've all done it, gone down that rabbit hole, right?
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: We research something and we go down, like, oh my god, that's gonna happen to me, and this is what's gonna happen.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, these are my symptoms.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, I think I got these symptoms.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, I know you do it too.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: There's always another test, or there's always another supplement, or another expert on social media telling you the one thing that you're not doing is why, then all of a sudden you start falling apart.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: So enough with that, okay?
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: Here's my filter.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: I always ask myself this.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: Will knowing this change something I do?
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: And if yes, keep going.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: But if it's no, you've learned enough for today.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: And Googling worst-case scenarios at 11:30 at night, that's not a prevention strategy.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: And believe me, I say that with love because I've been there too, but I refuse to do that scrolling or googling at night anymore.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: So do this with me.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to think of one health issue in your family that worries you the most, just one.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: So now ask yourself these three questions.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: What do I actually know about my risk?
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: Not what I assumed, there's a big difference.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: What I know.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: And then two, what part of this can I influence?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's screening, uh, maybe it's strength or blood pressure or sleep or alcohol, uh, a medication your doctor recommends, or maybe it's simply learning your family history more clearly.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you don't know your family history, get to know your family history.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: What's one thing I can do consistently instead of 10 that I can do for the next three days?
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that's huge for my clients.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: That This one matters, I think, almost the most.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: Your health usually isn't changed by the dramatic thing you do once, it's changed by what becomes normal to you.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: Those daily habits that you live you can live with.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's what matters to me most.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: What can I do consistently instead of the 10 things I can do for three days and then I end up quitting?
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: So let your mom be your mom.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: And one last thing, and it's maybe the most important.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: When you're caring for an aging parent, and it's so easy to start watching and comparing and projecting, she's forgetting things.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Am I?
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: Her hands hurt.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, mine do too.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: She can't do what she used to.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: Will that be me too?
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes you have to stop and breathe.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: Because the woman in front of you isn't a preview of you.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: She's your mom.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: The man in front of you isn't your medical forecast.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: He's your father.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: You're allowed to learn from their health.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: You're allowed to make different choices because of it.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: And you're also allowed to sit beside your mom and simply be her daughter.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I remind myself of that too.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: So here's your takeaway.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: If you remember nothing else of what I've said, please remember these five things and write them down.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: Number one is family history is information.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a prediction.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: Use it to know where to look.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's where you start.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: Use it to know where to look.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: Second takeaway is risk can change for many chronic condition habit conditions.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: Habits, screenings, and good medical care make a real difference, even with family history.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: Number three, no guarantee does not mean no influence.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: You can't prevent everything.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: You can still take meaningful action, right?
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: Number four takeaway is get curious before you get scared.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I want you to swap.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: Is this going to happen to me?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: Swap it for what could be useful for me to know?
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, huge difference.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: You don't want to be scared, go down that rabbit hole.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: And the fifth takeaway is build habits that are not life organized around fear.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I want you to create the habits, get the care you need, and then go live your life.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: So in closing, maybe you're watching your mom go through something hard right now, like me.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe it's your dad.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe, maybe they're maybe one of them are gone, or maybe they're both gone, but you remember what happened to them and you wonder if part of that story is waiting for you.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: I get it.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm doing some of that wondering myself.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: But your family history doesn't get the final word.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: If it can tell you where to look, it can push you to finally, you know, book that screening or get stronger or know your numbers or even have that conversation with your doctor.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: Let it do that.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: Let it teach you.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: Just don't let it write your future that hasn't happened yet.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: So when I noticed my mom's walking, I didn't decide there it is, that's my future.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: I asked a lot more attention about how I moved.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: I asked questions.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's one thing.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes one thing is enough to begin.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: So before you go, answer this for yourself.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: What have you seen in your family that you've been quietly afraid?
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: Will this happen to me?
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then what part of that story can you influence today?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: Start there, not from fear, from information and good intention.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: Your family history can tell you where to look.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's not going to tell you how your story ends.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much for listening to me today, and I will see you next time.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: This is My Sexy Menopause Body with Kim Nicholson.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: Real conversations about your health, your choices, and how you want to live after menopause.