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In conversation… Resilience, Trauma and Matters of Wellbeing · Succession and Transition

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there, my name is Chris Underhill.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_07: I'm Andrea Coleman.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Melion.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: We've created the Elders Council for Social Entrepreneurs to explore succession, leadership, well-being, and money.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Navigating the good times and the bad.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_07: Good afternoon, good evening, good morning, hello to everyone.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_07: Wonderful to see so many people here to join us in listening to our amazing speakers today.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_07: Mel, Chris, and I started the Elders' Council because of the very challenging process of building a social enterprise.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_07: And then how do you leave it?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_07: And what does that mean in terms of you personally?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_07: What does it mean to your organization?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_07: And all the challenges that come with the succession and transition.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_07: But within that, of course, is where you start.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_07: And so much of that comes from either your own personal trauma or other people's trauma.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_07: So we know that we look at the journey through and building an organization and then the challenging journey onward.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_07: So I'd like to hand over now to Chris, who's going to introduce our speakers today.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_07: I know you're in for a great ride, Chris.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much indeed, Andrea.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's my pleasure to welcome our two speakers today.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, let me welcome Elaine Miller-Karras.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: You're the founder and the director of innovation for the Trauma Resource Institute.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're the author of Building Resiliency to Trauma and the Trauma and Resiliency Models.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: You're a big blogger for psychology today.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: And your book was selected by the United Nations and curated online as one of the many innovations being met with United Nations Sustainable Development Goals.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: So we recognize you today as one of the key developers of the trauma and community resiliency models.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what we are looking forward to you talking about and hearing you discuss as you develop your conversation with Cecilia.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Warm welcome.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: You're an internationally acclaimed fighter of slavery through Voice of the Free, where you rescue, heal, and reintegrate survivors of human trafficking and sexual exploitation.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Working together with partners, you have protected more than 30,000 at risk and exploited young girls.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: What an extraordinary achievement.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: You've been instrumental in the enactment of pioneering laws in the Philippines to promote decent work for domestic workers, law to eliminate the worst forms of child labor and anti-trafficking law amendments.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: You became a scholar wardee in 2008, and you have other awards for the Department of Labor in the US and the Iqbal Massey Award.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And in 2011, you were the winner of the World's Children's Prize for the Rights of the Child in Sweden, whose patrons, of course, included Nelson Mandela and Her Majesty Queen Sylvia.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Despite all of these awards, you're one of the most modest people that I know.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: And this is just such a wonderful thing to observe.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: My job today is to welcome you and to ask you, Elaine, if you would begin the proceeds with a short statement, and then you and Cecilia are going to engage in the conversation that we're looking forward to.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'll support you with any questions that come up.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Over to you, Elaine.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you so much, Chris.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_04: And it's such an honor to be here with Cecilia and all of you as we have this discussion today.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_04: So I'd like to begin by asking you, to invite you to take a moment to reflect on what or who has provided you with strength and uplifted you during times of suffering.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_04: So take a moment to reflect on who or what that might be.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_04: You also might want to think about is there a particular source of inspiration or a moment in your journey that fills you in this moment with gratitude?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_04: And as you've called up and answered one or both of those questions, I'm also going to invite you to start noticing what happens on the inside.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_04: I know that I actually, my gratitude was of meeting Chris many years ago in Oxford.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_04: And when I was thinking about that meeting, I noticed I took a deeper breath and my muscles relaxed.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_04: So that's what I'm talking about.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_04: And one of the things we're going to be talking about is how we cultivate our well-being.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_04: And I have found that as we start a conversation about trauma, that it is important that we remember and acknowledge what our strengths are.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_04: Because there might be a time during our discussion that may be unsettling for some of our participants here.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_04: And if that happens, that sometimes just that brief reflection of the moments that I just invited you to think about might be something that helps settle for you to be able to feel more in balance.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_04: So that is the invitation.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm going to start by talking about what is trauma.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_04: I've spoken so much about trauma that I find that many people don't necessarily have the same definition as we begin.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_04: A traumatic experience can be defined as an individual's perception of an event as life-threatening to themselves or others.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_04: An event that results in trauma for one person may not be experienced by another individual as traumatic.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_04: So even though you've had the same experience, people can have different reactions.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_04: But we need to remember that trauma doesn't have to be experienced firsthand.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_04: And this is especially important for all of us here.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_04: It's an important distinction because many people live in self-blame and sometimes self-criticism, wondering why they are having such a difficult time when they did not experience the traumatic event themselves.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_04: So paying attention to that, especially with our mission-driven work and how many times all of us have witnessed or listened to the traumas of others and tried to help them.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_04: Now, and this also brings me to another concept of trauma called cumulative trauma, which includes historical trauma, which can also be part of our lived experience.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_04: And sometimes it's almost a shadow over us that can be part of what also can help us not feel in mind and body at times and spirit.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_04: So historical trauma includes the resulting trauma experienced by an entire population targeted for disenfranchisement.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_04: It, for example, can be sometimes people are disenfranchised because of their gender, their culture, their religion, their sexual identity, or their ethnicity.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_04: So individual and cumulative traumas are not only experienced in our minds, but in our bodies.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_04: And Cecilia and I are going to show and demonstrate how you can be helped by starting to pay attention to those sensations that you may experience.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_04: Symptoms of traumatic stress can occur immediately following a traumatic event, or maybe months or years before symptoms appear.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_04: Symptoms can wax and wane, plague people their entire lives, or appear suddenly.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_04: The unexpressed and unaddressed grief and mental and physical health needs may not be acknowledged, thereby continuing legacy and suffering.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_04: And I've seen for many of us that are impassioned leaders, we often put ourselves second.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_04: So these life transitions, while filled with opportunities, can also be quite challenging.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_04: So as elders, we've dedicated ourselves passionately, tirelessly to the organizations we brought to life.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_04: Our work bestowed meaning and purpose upon our lives, and through our efforts, we made sacrifices and received unexpected gifts.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_04: For some of us, our life traumas may have served as the inspiration or catalyst for the work we've embarked upon.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_04: However, this process of transitioning away from the organizations we nurtured can also be riddled with concerns and at times memories of traumatic experiences.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_04: We may have unintentionally overlooked self-care and self-reflection as we continued our lives and ideals in terms of a mission that was larger than ourselves.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_04: As we transition and create more space for self-reflection in this phase of life, past traumas may become more prominent in our thoughts, derailing our well-being at times.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_04: It can also be a period, though, of self-redefinition, distinct from yet perpetually linked to the organizations we built.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_04: We might find ourselves questioning the meaning and purpose of our remaining days of our journey as we navigate this transition.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_04: So the changes in our social circles can also have significant repercussions, affecting our physical and mental well-being.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_04: Our colleagues, family, and friends who gave us the most support, some of them may have passed from this earth, for example, or not be as available.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_04: So as we begin, and it's very important for us to know and to really understand that there is hope and healing.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_04: And Cecilia and I have had many conversations over the last few months.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm going to turn it over to her so she can talk a little bit about her experience.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_08: Thank you very much, Elaine and Chris.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_08: Thank you very much for having me.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_08: And of course, Andrea, as Chris already mentions, I had been a freedom fighter for almost all my life.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_08: I was also in prison for four years together with two children in prisons and my former husband, who are now deceased.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_08: I live a very hurried life.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_08: But decades of working and dealing with the traffickers head on, I become old.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_08: And so four years ago, I retired.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_08: And at first, I'm really excited that I'm retiring, but uh after a few months, it troubles me.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_08: I have more idle time and I'm scared that I lost my word or my relevance, which is very connected to my voiced passion.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_08: So it's a really strange and confusing feeling.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_08: So while I'm trying to master what we call the art of doing nothing, my mind is really restless, reminiscing my past.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_08: And the more I reflect, I've become more, I'm not at peace.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_08: My past catching up with me, my trauma, my guilt, my regrets, my pains, my sacrifice that I made in my life.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_08: Even sometimes the insult, the burden that you carry, which you thought part of the sacrifices of the greater good, it's really creeping in my life.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_08: So it's like carrying body and soul.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_08: I realize that I'm also so broken inside.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_08: Broken.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_08: Really.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_08: I am sad.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_08: There's a point that I'm really sad.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_08: I'm lonely.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_08: I feel juiced.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_08: I don't know what to do.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_08: I know that I'm in deep trouble, that I'm reliving my past.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_08: So until I realize and take control of that, then they said that no.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_08: I told myself, it's just my thinking.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_08: And I remind myself, you're a fighter and you're not a punching bag.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_08: So stop torturing yourself.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_08: And of course, that's also the time that people come into my life, new friends.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_08: Andrea encouraged me to attend the school, will be in project.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_08: I met new friends.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_08: And these are people God sent to me that helped me discover my inner enlightenment and find compassionate resilience and be kind to myself.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_08: And I think that's the start.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_08: I was able really to recover and find my balance in this crazy new season of my life.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_08: And thanks God for them.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_04: So, Cecilia, one of the things that we have talked about, and I also just want to also say that Cecilia has been so absolutely gracious and lovely because this conversation between the two of us was really, I think, inspired by Chris from your previous appearance and gift to the Elders Council.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_04: When we spoke, I wanted to share with Cecilia a little bit about the work that I've been doing in the world.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_04: And that is about how we cultivate well-being and resilience, even in times of great suffering, and when we've lived such an amazing full life as Cecilia has done.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_04: So one of the things when I first met Cecilia was when she said that she was broken, and yet there are so many other things that we've just heard Chris explain and Cecilia explain of the gifts that have come into her life.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_04: And one of the things, the vehicles of well-being that I've discovered is our sensations, which is one of the reasons why I invited you to call up something that uplifts you that you're grateful for and to notice the sensations inside.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_04: So Celia, I'm going to ask you a question.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_04: And the question is when you talk about, for example, and I see your wonderful smile right in front of me right now, what are you noticing on the inside right now?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_04: As I've even acknowledged and witnessed your smile.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, I think I feel relief.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_08: I feel the joy.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_08: I feel love.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_08: And yeah, and for me, I'm really connected to myself.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, and I noticed as you were explaining that and sharing that with us, that you also put your hand to your heart.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_04: Did I see the correct?
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, we've done that many times together, haven't we?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm just gonna invite you to even notice that.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_04: And even the smile almost seemed a little bit, and the giggle came in, but to notice your hand to your heart and do that to see, yeah, what else you might?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_04: I noticed that there's a movement in your body and an aliveness in your face as well.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_05: So just notice that and stay with that for just a few moments.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_05: And then I'm gonna ask you again, is there anything else that you're noticing on the inside right now?
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_08: I can say that the breathing really loose.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_08: I feel relaxed.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm going to invite you to notice all the sensations connected to the relaxation that you're experiencing in your body right now.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_05: I can feel the energy.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and is that energy pleasant, unpleasant, neutral?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_08: For me, it's really pleasant.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_04: Water running.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_04: What a wonderful image.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_04: So can you just for just a moment in terms of like water running?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_05: Notice that pleasant, there's pleasant sensations inside.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_04: And also I want to thank you because as you were noticing, I noticed I took a deeper breath and I saw more relaxation in my body as well.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_04: So thank you for that.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_04: We know that we are designed as human beings, that when we walk into someone else's space, we can often pick up the experiences that they're having.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_04: And this is one of the reasons why the model that I created is called the community resiliency model, because it creates that sense in all of us right now.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_04: Many of us may be experiencing the same thing.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_04: Cecilia, can I ask you a curiosity question?
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_04: In this space right now, are there any thoughts or feelings or meanings coming up for you regarding your lived experience that you're experiencing at this moment?
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, for me, gratefulness.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_08: I feel grateful of my past.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_08: I feel grateful of my life.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_08: And I have this feeling of excitement in the next chapter of my journey.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_04: So one of the things I've learned about doing this work around the world is that when we become in a more balanced state, which we actually have a name for it, we call it the resilient zone or the okay zone or the zone of well-being, that it affects the way we think about ourselves and our experience.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_04: And what you just helped us see is that when you are in that state, there can be all these wonderful, really positive statements that we might say about ourselves and our lived experience.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_04: And actually, gratitude, gratefulness is one of the things I've heard many people say that they in that moment of they sense their well-being can also sense the more, I guess, like almost a wider net of gratitudes in their life.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_04: So I know I said a lot, but I'm just wondering.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_04: I'm also noticing that when people express that there is a corresponding sensation in the body.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_04: So just if we suffer, we might say we might feel tight.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_04: When we say, Oh, I feel gratitude, there's also an expansion of pleasant sensations within.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm wondering if that's your experience.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_04: So if you think about looking around the room and the gratitude that you experience at this moment, look at that smile.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_04: I love your smile, Cecilia.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_04: What are you noticing on the inside?
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_08: We really feel the gratitude and appreciation.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_04: Where does it land in the body?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_04: Where do you sense it on the inside?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_08: I see it in my, you know, here and in my stomach.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_04: Your heart and your stomach.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_04: And yet sometimes people call the stomach the second brain, that it tells us a lot in terms of when we tap into that well-being.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_04: Can I ask you another question?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_04: Sure.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_04: That'd be okay because I've heard you say it a couple of times.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_04: In that sense of those moments of despair that all of us can experience on the globe, that we can, I think that no matter how much we've accomplished, we sometimes feel broken.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_04: In this moment in time, as we're sharing this space, does that brokenness feel like it's present in the same way or is it changed in any way?
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_04: And there's no right or wrong answer to this.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_04: It's, as I said, a curiosity question to maybe reflect upon.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_08: I think for me now it's not present anymore because I think I've been healing.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_06: Yes.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, I'm consciously healed.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_08: So yeah.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_08: So I've my experience or my brokenness, I it doesn't really matter to me anymore.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_08: I think, yeah, I develop that.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_08: I develop also compassion and forgiveness to myself and the acceptance that it happens, but past is past.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_08: It can only hurt me if I allow it.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_08: So at this point, maybe I can talk about the brokenness, but the feeling is not there anymore.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_04: So can you sense the compassion and forgiveness for the self?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_04: This to me is one of the most important things of all of us who are leaders in whatever world we have been mission-driven for.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_04: Because oftentimes we can more easily have compassion and forgiveness for others, but not include ourselves in it.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_04: It's, I think, one of the grand wisdoms that comes from living life is to the knowing of that.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_05: So can you just notice for just a moment more where that compassion and forgiveness lives inside of you?
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_05: I think I can say that in the whole being of me.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_08: Because I think I I think I was able to rearrange my outlook in life.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_08: I make a choice.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_08: I make a choice to rearrange and see it in different ways.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_08: I think one major thing that really helped me is my faith, but that really connects me, not only, of course, to the community, but of course to God.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_08: And so yeah, I don't know, first-time questions that somebody asked me.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, I'm gonna invite you again to notice.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_04: You said I feel it all over and to notice that.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_04: And then from that other resources of your life, your strengths, your faith.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_04: It's almost like the cream rising to the top, right?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yes, it's my faith.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_04: So just bring that attention again, one more time, to the sensations on the inside, and then I want to explain a little bit to everyone why I'm asking so much about what you're noticing on the inside.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_08: Of course, I notice that my breathing relaxed, that my mind is um empty, relax, at peace.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_08: I feel joy in my heart when we are talking about this.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_08: So I can say that maybe from the head to toe again.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_04: Well, thank you, Cecilia, for being here with me and for sharing the wisdom of your life and also some of the tragedies of your life as well.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_04: So I want to just explain to the group a little bit.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_04: Cecilia and I have met a couple times before, and I explained the model to her so she knew what this was like before we gathered here today.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_04: But one of the things I think is important for all of us to know that there's a burgeoning area in neuroscience called introsceptive awareness.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_04: There's researchers all over the world.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_04: Basically, what that means is your ability to read your nervous system.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_04: And so when I was asking Cecilia what she was noticing on the inside, we were focusing on the strengths and resources of her life, of who she is as a person.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_04: And you may have noticed that she became more resourced.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_04: She reported to us as we went along, not only did she feel it here in her chest to begin with, in her heart, but then it became her whole being that she was able to sense that.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_04: And so that experience of being able to read your nervous system and paying attention to it, that's what cultivates a physiological embodied well-being.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_04: And even though any of us on the planet, of course, have suffering, you may have thinking, why didn't you ask about the suffering and ask her to sense into the brokenness, which is what some people do.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_04: But when we're working in the way that we do with the community resiliency model and the trauma resiliency model, we first focus on helping the person cultivate the resources that are already there.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_04: In fact, I've spent a lot of time in the Philippines, Cecilia knows, after Typhoon Hunan.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_04: And I'll never forget a woman in the Philippines saying to one of our teachers, thank you.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_04: For reminding me what I already knew but had forgotten.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_04: The wisdom of the Philippines, Cecilia, is always in my heart when I remember that statement, because that's essentially what I guided Cecilia through.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_04: It wasn't the direction, it was a curiosity and a curiosity for Cecilia to explore her sensations of well-being.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_04: So every thought, feeling, and meaning have corresponding sensations inside of our body.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_04: And I often use the metaphor of a garden.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_04: We have gardens all over the world.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_04: We might plant vegetables and flowers, but if we only water the weeds in our garden, which are all those sensations connected to our trauma, then that sometimes has a tendency to grow.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_04: But when we start cultivating the well-being, it's not that those things didn't happen to us.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_04: And there's a wisdom of leaning into them at times.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_04: But I think for all of us, how do we lean out?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_04: And that's what we've just seen Cecilia do so beautifully is knowing and not acknowledging what's happened to her, but also knowing and sensing her well-being.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_04: So with that, I'm going to pause.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_04: Cecilia, do you have anything more you want to say before we maybe take questions from the audience?
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, the actual exercise that we made just really give me a lot of clarity and sometimes we forget really what's happening inside.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_08: And I appreciate that we were able to do that in the past.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_08: So thank you.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's wonderful.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: We obviously recognize that we have been privileged to be present.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Quite an important exchange, and some of us will be still digesting that.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: So there are a couple of things which have come up on the line so far.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody is immediately stating to me that they would love to be able to integrate this trauma practice into their coaching.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: So that's interesting.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I see that Vijaya Patel has raised their hand.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: Vijaya, do you want to come in with your thought or question?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_02: I must apologize for getting my words out.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: But I don't have a speech impairment which has happened recently through reliving my trauma.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: So but I just wanted to thank Elaine and Cecilia for sharing Cecilia your life experience and the trauma what you face through your life.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um certainly tapping in your inner wisdom as uh umly put across to us.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I I have recently done a course in personal medicine with uh perhaps into inner wisdom and thank you for for uh giving us that exercise, and I'm really truly grateful.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Vijaya, so much.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: Very much appreciate your intervention.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_04: I also put in the chat we have a free app for smartphones called iChill that's in English, Spanish, and Ukrainian that go over the skills of the community resiliency model that you can download and listen to.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_04: If you don't have a smartphone, there's also iChillapp.com that is a website.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's great.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure that not only uh Vijay but others would like to download that.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for your intervention very much, Vijay.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: Much appreciated.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: We have a question, Cecilia.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: What is the thing that has helped you most during this transition?
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: And do you think as elders we can help others on their journey through their organizations that are often inspired by trauma?
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: So that's one for you, Cecilia, if you don't mind.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_08: Well, for me, what really helps me is the understanding of where I am now in my life.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_08: I know that it's really time to, I really prepare myself for the transitions and even not only me, but of course the whole the whole organization, and accepting also and preparing my new role in the organization and my new capacity.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_08: I'm also so lucky that I have a very supportive people in my life.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_08: My husband, which is here, also Roland, my colleagues and my family, who I think are also very patient with me of the transition because it's also manifest a lot of changes in my life, because definitely this is the first time there's no practice for all of us for retiring.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_08: And it's actually hit us in different levels and in different manners.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_08: And so people around us is they are very important to become really our support system.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_08: And it's part of embracing ourselves and knowing ourselves that the accumulated knowledge and wisdom that we have in the past is still really very useful in this life.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_08: It is important for us that we'll not go into drama with all also our trauma, but also use the trauma also to inspire others.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_08: And for me, as I'm really very excited that I become also a teacher, experience and life teachers to other emerging leaders, emerging people in the organization.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_08: So, yeah, for us social intravenous, I know that we are always on the run.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_08: We don't even sometimes know why we are become old and when we become old, but we are here now.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_08: And we need to accept that.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_08: That's really the process of life.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_08: And we have also to take control and design and rearrange our lives so that we can be still helped and relevant because we are relevant, we are useful in different capacities.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_08: So really care if I'm what 64 years old, whatever, my spirit maybe I'm aging, but my spirit is young and joyful, and that's really matter.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_08: And I know I can still contribute.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: Hallelujah.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: Vijaya said that she loved your spirit.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: She put that into the chat.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: Catherine Paul Trujillo, my friend, you are on our global advisory board.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: I wondered whether you'd like to just reflect on what you've heard.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be a question, but it could just simply be a reflection or a question, whichever suits you.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_03: Good morning or afternoon or evening, wherever people are.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_03: I love being here.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_03: I love being here because my answer to the first question or who or what has given me strength.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_03: It took me back to that moment when the Elders Council first met.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_03: And it was just at that moment when I needed to find my own play group.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I felt like that feeling of actually finding a place where there were people like me that I didn't know who looked different, came from all different places, but we had something in common.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_03: And that is one thing that has really helped me in this part of my life of redefining who I am, the title I give myself.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_03: I was taken back, Cecilia, when you said you were a freedom fighter.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_03: I grew up in the civil rights movement.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_03: And now people don't consider themselves freedom fighters.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_03: They're activists, they're all other kinds of titles for what you do.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_03: But hearing that word really reminded me of a basic identity about myself.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_03: So what I took away, I think, the most from being here, I wasn't trying to think about it.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_03: I just felt it is that sense of gratitude for finding that I wasn't alone.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_03: So it really made me feel good all over to be in a safe place with people where I could go inside myself and really think about and feel what was going on and has been going on for 75 years.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_03: And it made me feel good and relaxed and happy and loved and all of those things that you said.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_03: So thank you.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much, Kat.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: Mel, let me ask you to give us some thoughts.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: You've been listening carefully, and I know that we'll ask you to wrap up in a minute.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: But are there any thoughts that you have in between times?
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Chris.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'll sum up in 10 minutes or so, which is my role in life, I think it seems these days.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm happy to do that.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: So far, it's been a really fantastic conversation, getting to the heart of a real issue that us elders face, which is if we're being really honest about it.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I think this was a really honest conversation, how difficult it is in this transfer period that we're getting older, and actually being honest about how traumatic some of the work that we've been involved in has been for us.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: And it's almost like we are so focused on the issue and the outcomes or the people we're working with that we just ignore ourselves.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then when it comes to the end, a possible exit strategy of all of these things come to the surface.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I think listening to Katna, for example, the comments in the conversation, it is about understanding and reflecting on those moments of when you did have support when in the difficult times when there were inspiring times.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: And that first meeting, which I'll always remember was an inspiring moment.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: We all came together and we went, Oh, aha, we're all sharing this.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: And when we started to share it, actually, uh, because we had conversations like this, the challenge that we're having were released, if you like.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think this conversation is actually so relevant and so important to us suspect everyone on this call, but also to others who maybe haven't been able to join.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: And we should be continuing on further.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: I personally work with homeless people around the world for decades now and what experience their trauma, some horrendous situations that they've been in, and try to find solutions.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: But then you need to have that time to reflect and relax when you're doing this work.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: Knowing that other people are experiencing the same thing and being in the same journey is so important.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_04: Chris, can I just say something too, just to piggyback upon what he said?
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_04: I think it's so important for us, and that was the purpose of those initial questions, to remember what else is true.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_04: That yes, there's been suffering, there's been the witnessing, and yet there's been so much that's come from it.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_04: But sometimes traumatic stress symptoms can override those the experiences of well-being.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_04: And that's why it can take some effort to even focus on sensations connected to well-being.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_04: Sometimes when we try to do that, all we feel is distress.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_04: So I just want to emphasize that one of the biggest learnings, and I'm an old trauma therapist, is that not everyone needs to tell the trauma story, that sometimes people need to tell the story of well-being and the reasons why, in terms they became mission-driven, that have to do with that social entrepreneurial spirit and that well-being, and that sometimes the stories can be too much to repeat again and again, and not because of avoidance, but because there's a toll that it takes on the body and the mind.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_04: And that if we can lean into it, I'm not saying to forget it, but shifting out and to remember what else is true.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_04: And I just love the younger people on this call because I think if each one of you starts cultivating that now, remembering what else is true in the present moment, that by the time maybe you get to my age, and I'm in my 70s, that it wouldn't take the same amount of toll that it has for many of us as we age and get to the end of our journeys.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much indeed for that, Elaine.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_07: I also just wondered, Chris, if I could ask Cecilia, do you feel that to start to move from being broken and lonely and all the things that you felt, do you think that to move from that takes a lot of courage?
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_07: You almost build those in as if they are you.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_07: And I remember when I spoke to you several years ago when you were in such difficulties, you didn't feel you deserved to leave that guilt and start to focus on you.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_07: And I wondered if it took you a lot of courage to start the process of healing.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, definitely, because sometimes we social entrepreneurs, we feel that we are invincible, right?
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, that we can do everything we used to do in our own terms, but actually a lot of our trauma is there.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_08: I think, yeah, of course, it takes a lot of courage, but also a choice.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_08: Really, what they call that intentional choice.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_08: Because yeah, I feel during the time that I'm really going to the drain.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_08: And it's like really that I'm drowning and I don't know what to do in my life.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_08: So I'm also really grateful for people who surrounded me and encouraged to take a step.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_08: That's why I think Elaine, that's right, really, that the community is really important.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_08: Of course, courage and choice.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_08: And the choice is really not only one choice, but it's an everyday choice.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_08: You have to make a choice everyday.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: I have a question, Chris.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: I wonder if there's an issue that's common amongst us social entrepreneurs that we fail all the time.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: So by that I mean we take on issues, we want to change the world, and we work really hard at that and we have some success.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: But if I looked in the area I work in in homelessness, for example, we've been working with homeless people and we've changed their lives and they've got into homes and jobs and so on.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: But actually, homelessness increases.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_01: So there's a system failure.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: And when we wake up in the morning, there's more work to do, and we feel we failed, even though it's to do with a global system.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: So none of us actually are successful because there's a failing global systems, and that depresses us.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: Is that something that you think is real?
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: And the answer then is for us to focus on the smaller successes we've had, if you like, but understand that to use your garden story, you know, that outside is some pretty muddled up jungle, but hey, we've got the garden.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'd just be interested in your take on it.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_04: No, I absolutely think that's true.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_04: And I think that many of us have been around for a long time and we've seen the pendulum swing, right?
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_04: We've seen things, oh, the things are getting better, and then all of a sudden things swing and go the opposite direction.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_04: So exactly what you said, Mel, I found is true.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_04: We need respites for our mind, our spirit, and our body.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_04: And what I've learned is that when I sense into my well-being, and it can be a very small thing, and homelessness is a huge problem.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_04: So, I mean, it might be, and this would be individual for every person.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_04: Like for you, Mel, is there a moment that you can say, even though it's huge, but I can remember this, and this is still going on right now?
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_04: Is there something like that in your experience that you could call up or not?
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I think definitely.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: When you ask the question right at the beginning, in terms of what's inspired you, I was going with lots of homeless people because actually they've inspired me.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_04: And when you think about that inspiration, that amazement, like where does that land on the inside?
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_04: And that can help us stay within our zone so we can continue to work in ways that we know has to continue and will continue long after we're dust in the wind, because it's not an easy answer.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, indeed.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_04: Can you sense where?
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I love your smile.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_04: Can you sense where it lands?
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I want to smile.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'd probably go for a little dance now.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: So what would that?
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's in my feet.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_04: All right, then keep dancing, well, keep dancing.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_04: That's what I can say to you, yes.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: What a lovely exchange.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, Roland unfortunately has a sore throat.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, he would have said what he's written here.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll just make sure that we hear it.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just reflecting, though, that Cecilia has a powerful ability to always reinvent herself, always finding new things to do, making herself always useful.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Roland, for that.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thalio, thank you for your reflection.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds like a huge part of resilience is facilitating a space where people can share their hearts and minds.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_00: We understand and agree that.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: And just to say, young or old, if you would like to join us for free, it's one of the best deals around actually at the moment.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you would like to join us as a member of the organization, do please follow the link.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_00: And the fact that we have a wonderful generational mix here today is much appreciated.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for being with us.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: So without further ado, I'd like to pass to you, Mel, for a little wrap-up as we say thank you to Elaine and to Cecilia.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, thank you very much to Elaine and Cecilia.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_01: This was a really great conversation.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: It was a slightly new way of doing things, where we're having the conversation between two people.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: We haven't done that in the past, but I think it worked really well.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's thank you to both, but in particular to Cecilia for being so honest and sharing your experience.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's not many people who call and talk about how they've been broken.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that resonates with all of us, that honesty.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_01: And this is a space where we're coming together to talk about how things have affected us as we become in this and as we move on.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: So sharing that experience, I think is incredibly valuable.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_01: But then Elaine being able to articulate on the other side about maybe what was going on and looking at inner sensations, explain to us what the community resilience model was.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I personally love the kind of biology around the garden whereby you will always have weeds in the garden.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_01: But if you water and nurture the flowers and the vegetables in the garden, the good bits of the garden, then these are the bits that will grow and be reflected in your inner sensations and understanding how your body reacts to the type of conversations that both Elaine and Saseri were having.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I thought this was an incredibly rich and insightful conversation and very relevant.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: As I say, all of us are getting to this point where we are changing in terms of what we can do physically and mentally as we get older and what our role is.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: And the issue that's come up a couple of times in previous meetings is coming up again about how it's important that younger social entrepreneurs take this on at the much earlier stage, that we are almost discovering this at the end of the journey when we should have been aware of it in the beginning of the journey.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's very important that you share these types of conversation and these insights.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_01: I personally have learned a lot from both Cecilia and Elaine myself, and I suspect others have on this call.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_01: And sharing the story, Cecilia, and those understandings, Elaine, has been really important, really insightful.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: Just would like to thank you both very much for this.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's so relevant to all of us.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you very much.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much, Mel.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Cecilia, once again.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Elaine.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a privilege to be with you.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_00: And between the two of you, you have demonstrated how much more there is that we have to learn.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_00: So it's been a wonderful space.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: Take care, everybody.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you, Chris.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_04: Andrea, thank you all.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_04: Cecilia, thank you.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_08: Likewise, Elaine.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_08: Thank you, everybody.