Latest / Ay Mijita ✨ Embrace your raíces. Reclaim your esencia. / From Bankruptcy to Abundance: Healing Your Relationship with Money

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From Bankruptcy to Abundance: Healing Your Relationship with Money · Ay Mijita ✨ Embrace your raíces. Reclaim your esencia.

• 0:09
  Dora: Ay Mijita.
• 0:09
  Dora: Welcome back to another episode of Ay Mijita Embracing your Roots, Reclaim your Essentia.
• 0:14
  Dora: Soy tu host, Dora Alicia Praxedis, intuitive guide, healer, and your hermana, walking this path of self-discovery with you.
• 0:21
  Dora: Today's tema is one that I know so many of us secretly wrestle with.
• 0:26
  Dora: But don't always talk about out loud Money and worthiness.
• 0:32
  Dora: We're going to break this down from all angles what our culture taught us, what our families modeled, how society tries to measure us by numbers and how we can reclaim a healthier, empowered relationship with money and our own value.
• 0:49
  Dora: This episode will be deep, raw and also practical.
• 0:54
  Dora: Voy a compartir my own struggles with money, such as bankruptcy, undercharging, guilt, and how I started shifting my mindset.
• 1:03
  Dora: And at the end I'll guide you through a short journaling practice and meditation to connect with your inner abundance.
• 1:10
  Dora: So ponte comoda, grab your cafecito or agüita maybe your journal and let's dive into raíces of money and worth.
• 1:19
  Dora: Let's start with naming the wound Because, cariño, if we don't name it, we can't heal it.
• 1:43
  Dora: Growing up, many of us heard dichos like El dinero no crece en los árboles, más vale poquito, pero honrado hay que aguantar, y la otra is the other.
• 1:55
  Dora: One is que soy humilde, like humildad equals poverty.
• 1:58
  Dora: These phrases sound like wisdom but underneath they teach us scarcity.
• 2:03
  Dora: They teach us to play small, to accept less, to settle, to be grateful for the bare minimum, even when our souls crave more.
• 2:11
  Dora: Money became tight to sacrifice, and especially in my household.
• 2:15
  Dora: If you worked yourself to the bone then maybe you were deserving, but if you rested or asked for more you were labeled as selfish or presumida.
• 2:25
  Dora: So for me and our family money was tight.
• 2:29
  Dora: I totally got that from my parents.
• 2:31
  Dora: I remember my mom she would always sit at the kitchen table she's the one that kind of had the finances.
• 2:37
  Dora: My dad he would go out to work and he was considered the breadwinner.
• 2:42
  Dora: I know my dad made significantly more than my mom and I remember they would fight all the time, especially with when it came to credit cards or like paying for stuff, medical bills.
• 2:58
  Dora: I know there was like medical emergencies that came up and my mom and dad didn't have money for those different things.
• 3:06
  Dora: Especially when it came up for, you know, to an emergency fund and money was a big source of arguments between my parents.
• 3:16
  Dora: I know my dad would always bail my mom out in a way, or like he would come and save the day, kind of thing.
• 3:23
  Dora: But one other thing I remember was my sisters and I we would play la tendita, like we would take everything out of the pantry, you know the like we would pretend to have like a grocery store.
• 3:36
  Dora: And I remember one time we got my mom's checks and we ended up writing all over them.
• 3:40
  Dora: She was mad and I liked them because there were those duplicate ones.
• 3:44
  Dora: You know they have the carbon copy in the, you know when you rip off the check and that.
• 3:48
  Dora: So it was kind of cool.
• 3:49
  Dora: I mean.
• 3:49
  Dora: I think that's where my my fascination for accounting or cashiering started, because I did work at Walmart right at my senior year in high school and eventually I worked in the cash office.
• 4:02
  Dora: I would have to go in like 4.30 in the morning and prepare like the different, you know, count a lot of money.
• 4:08
  Dora: I would count like hundreds of thousands of dollars, like I think that's where I became sensitized, desensitized, my correction to seeing large amounts of money.
• 4:19
  Dora: And because we're in the era I remember back to school my mom had three daughters right and we kind of cared what we dressed like, especially when we got to high school, but we would go, I remember, to the store we would buy the school supplies, we would buy clothes, and this was around the era or around the time we would go to Mexico like two or three times a year, driving down there and my mom would put it on credit cards and then paying for the back to school fees.
• 4:49
  Dora: You know the schools, and if we did sports which we didn't do or any afterschool activities which we didn't do, then that was an extra cost.
• 4:56
  Dora: From what I remember, we really didn't talk about money.
• 5:00
  Dora: All I saw was my mom and dad stressed, my mom eventually got a part-time job and my dad did too, and they would just work, work, work like tirelessly.
• 5:09
  Dora: My dad had three jobs.
• 5:11
  Dora: At one point he would leave like at four in the morning to do like this breakfast gig in some restaurant, and then he would come home and then go to his full-time job, second shift, and then he would fix cars on the weekends or he would take side jobs.
• 5:26
  Dora: So, yeah, my parents were definitely hustlers and that's where I learned that work ethic.
• 5:33
  Dora: Now take a moment, mi hijita, think back to your earliest money memory.
• 5:38
  Dora: Was it about bills, a piggy bank, your parents working overtime?
• 5:43
  Dora: How did it make you feel Safe, anxious, guilty?
• 5:48
  Dora: Write that down in your journal, if you can.
• 5:51
  Dora: Here's the truth bomb your self-worth is not your net worth.
• 5:57
  Dora: Pero, we live in society that confuses the two.
• 6:00
  Dora: You probably felt it when your paycheck was small, you felt small.
• 6:04
  Dora: When you finally had money, you felt powerful for a moment.
• 6:07
  Dora: That emotional roller coaster keeps us trapped, but your worth was never tied to a paycheck.
• 6:13
  Dora: You were born worthy.
• 6:14
  Dora: You were born having that right to have that abundance.
• 6:18
  Dora: Your worth is in your being, not your doing.
• 6:21
  Dora: Money comes and goes.
• 6:23
  Dora: It's energy, it's flow.
• 6:25
  Dora: Worthiness is eternal.
• 6:27
  Dora: Tú eres digna, tú vales.
• 6:30
  Dora: So for me, this worthiness thing really showed up for me leading up to when my youngest son was born, which Julian is now 14.
• 6:44
  Dora: I remember I got into a car accident with him when I was pregnant and it kind of I spiraled out of control with that one because I had to pay the deductible, I didn't have the money.
• 6:55
  Dora: I didn't have $500 for the insurance, and we had accumulated a lot of credit card debt because Fili lost his job when I was in my junior year in college at DePaul and I ended up losing my jobs too, and it came to a point where I didn't know what to do.
• 7:16
  Dora: We were looking at each other in the living room, and we had just got this condo in Roselle in my hometown and we were going to buy it and we just didn't have the money for rent, we didn't have money for food and we eventually started using credit cards to get us by.
• 7:36
  Dora: I had to get out student loans because I did have a full ride paid for from DePaul.
• 7:41
  Dora: I got a lot of grants and scholarships and that was so such a crummy black era time because Fili and I we weren't not in the best relationship either because we didn't know how to communicate.
• 7:56
  Dora: We both came up broke like or I mean, let's just say, not completely powerish, but with that poverty mentality in our families.
• 8:06
  Dora: And so shortly after my son was born, that's when I declared myself bankruptcy because I wanted and credit card.
• 8:18
  Dora: Seriously, it was,000.
• 8:19
  Dora: It wasn't even all that much.
• 8:21
  Dora: I totally, we totally, could have crawled out of that one.
• 8:23
  Dora: But you get so desperate in these times where scarcity mindset wins over and with a newborn I felt like I just wanted to start fresh and it kind of really screwed up my life because for seven years, and especially being an accountant, and that for seven years I couldn't do like, I couldn't get out any credit.
• 8:43
  Dora: I had to kind of like stick by with whatever I had.
• 8:45
  Dora: And just the cycle didn't stop right, because at the seven year mark I ended up like creeping up with credit cards again.
• 8:55
  Dora: And that's when, about two, three years ago, I started really looking at our finances and I at first would pay attention to, like Dave Ramsey and that but I mean no offense, but offensively it's an old white dude, right.
• 9:10
  Dora: What is he going to know about a person of color, latina, like me trying to get by?
• 9:15
  Dora: So I understood the principles, I shared it with my friends and I shared it with coworkers and that and it was successful for many of them.
• 9:21
  Dora: I was getting by like paying aggressively towards debt.
• 9:26
  Dora: But the other thing to that equation that the math didn't make sense was I felt like shit, like I felt like I couldn't do anything, I couldn't buy coffee, I couldn't eat anything outside of the budget and all but a budget is supposed to be permission to spend, right, it's supposed to, and the debt is your blessings that you got already.
• 9:45
  Dora: Look at it from that point of view Instead of getting reprimanded.
• 9:49
  Dora: I didn't feel heard, I didn't feel understood, I didn't feel validated that I made these decisions because that point in time I was desperate, like I needed to get my family by, we needed to eat, we needed to have a place to stay, pay the bills.
• 10:03
  Dora: And so now, like we're in such a better place and I did recoup my credit and I still have credit cards that I sometimes use, but I try to pay them off.
• 10:15
  Dora: And some of these credit cards, it's ridiculous, they have like almost 30% interest.
• 10:19
  Dora: That is crazy.
• 10:22
  Dora: So, with the newborn and losing our jobs was such a big awakening that I think that's where I finally understood the value of mindset, of doing it for my kids, like doing it meaning, like getting out of that debt, having that financial freedom.
• 10:44
  Dora: That was one of my goals and that is my one of my goals and we go through these lessons in life just to learn and value the life we do create and have.
• 10:55
  Dora: And seriously, that brought me to my knees, like that whole bankruptcy thing and feeling so helpless.
• 11:02
  Dora: That's when, shortly after I started therapy, I did see my life coach.
• 11:09
  Dora: I started meeting with my life coach and I looked into like those finances, the books, right, and around that time time like Dave Ramsey was the only one kind of person that I would follow.
• 11:20
  Dora: But then slowly did I start learning about the spirituality and how to create abundance.
• 11:25
  Dora: I started following different influencers, let's just say, or podcasts like let there be loose was one of them.
• 11:33
  Dora: That brought me into spirituality world and that's when I started realizing I do have qualities and it started to dismantle the gaslighting conditioning I was growing up with that.
• 11:45
  Dora: We had to work, hustle and grind, and this was the only way of life.
• 11:49
  Dora: And then I hurt my back and that was another episode which we'll save all that for another day.
• 11:55
  Dora: But, feeling worthy, I always tied that with money.
• 11:59
  Dora: I always tied it with the career I had and I was always thinking, oh, my salary is my net worth and no, it's not.
• 12:08
  Dora: Actually, you're meant for so much more.
• 12:10
  Dora: And I always joke that I wanted to be a millionaire.
• 12:13
  Dora: And now I sit down and think, oh, wow, like, based on the investments that I've done my 401k at work, the savings, the cars, the assets and it took time, because right now I'm 38 and it took a long time to get to this place.
• 12:31
  Dora: But it also had a lot of downfalls and losing a lot in the in the trajectory.
• 12:37
  Dora: So it's all learning and you're getting closer to that million, or you're getting closer to that goal that you have in your mind.
• 12:45
  Dora: So grab your journal, if you have it, or you could say it out loud and finish these prompts.
• 12:52
  Dora: If I believed I was already worthy, I would, and finish that sentence, all right.
• 13:02
  Dora: The second sentence is where am I currently undervaluing myself?
• 13:07
  Dora: Relationships, work, self-care like filling my cup.
• 13:19
  Dora: Now sit with these and come back to this and really dig in a little deeper as to what makes you feel worthy.
• 13:31
  Dora: Money wounds aren't just ours.
• 13:32
  Dora: They're ancestral.
• 13:34
  Dora: Our abuelitos and parents lived in survival mode.
• 13:37
  Dora: For many, money meant migration, backbreaking labor, sending money home, sacrificing joy for stability.
• 13:46
  Dora: And because we love them, we unconsciously carry their beliefs Don't waste, don't dream too big, don't ask for too much.
• 13:55
  Dora: Don't dream too big.
• 14:02
  Dora: Don't ask for too much.
• 14:03
  Dora: But listen.
• 14:03
  Dora: Your ancestors' dream was not for you to suffer the same way.
• 14:04
  Dora: They prayed for your abundance.
• 14:05
  Dora: Healing your relationship with money is honoring them.
• 14:11
  Dora: So, with my parents working multiple jobs, they were never home and they were always so concerned about keeping up with the rest of the family on who had the best car, who had the best house and the latest gadgets, and oftentimes my mom.
• 14:28
  Dora: She would not buy stuff for herself at times because she wanted us to have what we needed.
• 14:33
  Dora: And they often went to work when they were sick, like they were really really sick, like cold and the works and all, and they would go to work anyway sick.
• 14:43
  Dora: And so the way I honor them today is I allow myself to take care of my health, especially my mental health, and I work with my therapist and I'm present in the moment, in the here and now.
• 14:58
  Dora: I have a gratitude practice where I'm grateful for all the things that I do have and if something adverse happens and pops up, like I don't have money to cover certain things because of cash flow, it's like I try to work it out.
• 15:13
  Dora: I don't try to work myself to the ground just to make sure that I'm, you know the money money is coming in like that, to the detriment of my health.
• 15:27
  Dora: It's taken me many years to rewrite that poor mentality mindset that my parents had and that I embodied for such a long time.
• 15:38
  Dora: The hustle and the grind that is very unnecessary and I've adopted kind of that work smarter, not harder, philosophy.
• 15:49
  Dora: And so my parents and my grandparents, that's what they knew right, it was work hard, physical labor, and I had the opportunity to go to college and I also do work physical labor at times, but fortunately for me, I never had to work like a warehouse job or something to the like.
• 16:10
  Dora: But I know it's difficult, it's very difficult working in those trades, but it took a lot of work and dedication and multiple jobs at one point.
• 16:21
  Dora: So understand that your ancestors and your loved ones, they are so proud of you because they were praying for you to have the wealth, the abundance, to be better off than they were.
• 16:38
  Dora: That's why they struggled, that's why they sacrificed.
• 16:41
  Dora: And that's where I understand my mom and dad coming over to the States from Mexico, because they wanted to settle down, they wanted to provide their family a better life and they did.
• 16:50
  Dora: And it's up to us to decide what kind of life we want.
• 16:54
  Dora: And that's what their hope was.
• 16:58
  Dora: Was it for us to have a better life than they had in all different ways?
• 17:03
  Dora: The other notable thing is now I have a stable, great job and I'm able to participate in my kids' activities.
• 17:14
  Dora: Stable, great job and I'm able to participate in my kids' activities and I'm able to drive them to and from, like the you know, the soccer, the clubs, any after school events.
• 17:22
  Dora: I'm able to go to field trips when they were younger.
• 17:25
  Dora: So having that flexibility as a parent and being a present parent for me has been such a blessing and that's one thing that has paid off for me.
• 17:36
  Dora: Now close your eyes for a second, if you can, and whisper Gracias, ancestors.
• 17:44
  Dora: I honor your sacrifices.
• 17:47
  Dora: I no longer carry poverty as loyalty.
• 17:50
  Dora: I choose abundance.
• 17:52
  Dora: In your honor, let's talk practical shifts, because mindset work isn't just airy, it's daily.
• 18:09
  Dora: Start with language Replace.
• 18:11
  Dora: I can't afford this with.
• 18:13
  Dora: How can I create this or replace?
• 18:18
  Dora: Nobody will pay me with.
• 18:20
  Dora: The right people will invest in my gifts.
• 18:22
  Dora: And the last one is you can replace.
• 18:26
  Dora: Is I'm bad with money, you can replace it with.
• 18:29
  Dora: I'm learning to be in partnership with money.
• 18:32
  Dora: I'm learning to be in partnership with money.
• 18:37
  Dora: Money is not your enemy, it's a tool.
• 18:38
  Dora: Un intercambio you share your light, your gifts and money flows back to you.
• 18:44
  Dora: So for me, I used to.
• 18:47
  Dora: When I offered my services or my gifts, I would actually not charge.
• 18:50
  Dora: Or my gifts, I would actually not charge.
• 18:52
  Dora: I was guilty of, you know, offering them for free and I would spend hours.
• 19:03
  Dora: I remember I did a consultation with someone and I sat with them for about four hours and I did not charge them or I.
• 19:06
  Dora: At the end I would say, oh, I'm a donation based.
• 19:07
  Dora: You can, you know, kind of give me whatever you'd like, and I would get like 10 books, 20 books, and now I have a flat rate for my time.
• 19:16
  Dora: That also creates a boundary that for the hour that I'm there, I usually ask.
• 19:23
  Dora: You know my intuition, divine, to allow the time for whatever needs to come through and whatever this person needs, to prioritize those things.
• 19:43
  Dora: And for me, investing in myself has been such a game changer Like I've invested in coaches and healers and workshops and it felt so scary, but at the end I've been able to shift and transform, and so earlier this year I began to invest in several hundred, if not thousands, of dollars in business coaches, and being able to read the Akashic Records was a program I invested in in the past and years ago I signed up for all these programs and all these classes to get certified in being a life coach and being able to do this sacred work because I did want to understand it.
• 20:17
  Dora: Lead group coaching that was something that I was drawn to as well, and being able to lead a meditation, open the sacred space, work with my shaman, did a few courses with him and all of that was so eye-awakening.
• 20:36
  Dora: And the biggest thing I learned was if you're not charging or if you're not like if you give stuff for free, you are not.
• 20:46
  Dora: You are taken away from that person that's receiving and willing to invest in what you have to give, you're missing out on the exchange.
• 20:57
  Dora: And once they invest, or if there's an exchange of money, that's where, on an energetic level, you're giving them that value.
• 21:09
  Dora: Now a special note for my mamas, the stay-homeas.
• 21:13
  Dora: That is by far the hardest job I think anyone has, because you are the CEO not only of your household, but of all the things that are going on.
• 21:24
  Dora: So think about it.
• 21:25
  Dora: If you were to outsource all those things that you do on a daily and I'm talking about stay-home moms specifically you're already a millionaire.
• 21:33
  Dora: If you were to outsource all the things you do, such as cook and clean yard work, if you go out there preschool, if you have little ones, or drop-offs and pickups, and itemize all that, because you're also the accountant of the family, you're the teacher of the family, you're a wife and there's so many different things you have to cater to Grocery, shopping, uber, lyft, whatever you want to call it All those things.
• 22:04
  Dora: If you combine them hiring a cook those things aren't cheap.
• 22:07
  Dora: So kudos to you, and I have a lot of respect for stay-at-home moms, because that is by far the most difficult job I think in the world and being there for your kiddos that is precious right, invaluable time that you're spending with them.
• 22:22
  Dora: So honor yourself when it comes to what you're giving and what you are receiving, because some things definitely don't have a dollar amount attached to it.
• 22:33
  Dora: Now let's journal.
• 22:34
  Dora: Here are a couple of prompts.
• 22:40
  Dora: Write down three limiting beliefs you carry about money.
• 22:42
  Dora: Then I'm going to task you with rewriting them into empowering statements.
• 22:46
  Dora: Ask yourself what is the cost of undervaluing myself?
• 22:51
  Dora: Ahora, let's close with a practice.
• 23:06
  Dora: If you can put one hand on your corazón and the other on your belly, take a deep breath in and out and out.
• 23:20
  Dora: Visualize a golden light entering your body Warm, loving, abundant.
• 23:38
  Dora: See this light filling your entire being.
• 23:42
  Dora: Whisper to yourself I am worthy, I am safe, I am abundant.
• 24:06
  Dora: Now imagine holding in your hand, not with fear but with gratitude.
• 24:13
  Dora: Feel it as energy, energy flowing in and out with ease, and you can pause this and stay here as long as you'd like.
• 24:32
  Dora: When you're ready, take a deep breath in and out.
• 24:42
  Dora: Now take your journal and write these questions what does financial freedom look like for me?
• 25:06
  Dora: If I trusted I was fully worthy, how would I use money as a tool for joy, for healing, for community?
• 25:14
  Dora: Breathe that in.
• 25:20
  Dora: You are enough.
• 25:23
  Dora: Thank you.