Latest / Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor / Mojo Monday - Performance Anxiety: What It Is And Strategies To Manage It By Carly Taylor

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Mojo Monday - Performance Anxiety: What It Is And Strategies To Manage It By Carly Taylor · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:08
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• 2:10
  Speaker 1: there a night on with the podcast?
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Hey everyone, it's Carlie Taylor here and welcome back to
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: Mojo Monday. So today I want to talk about a
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  Speaker 2: type of anxiety that all of us would have felt
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  Speaker 2: at some stage, and for some it can be so
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  Speaker 2: strong and so intense that it can really hold them
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  Speaker 2: back from reaching their potential. And what I'm talking about
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  Speaker 2: is performance anxiety. And I know this one very well personally.
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  Speaker 2: So in my past life, many many many moons ago.
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  Speaker 2: I was a musician, so music was my strength at school,
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  Speaker 2: it was my thing, and I went on to complete
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  Speaker 2: a Bachelor of Performance majoring in fluid at the Adelaide Conservatorium,
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  Speaker 2: and for years my world revolved around performing in front
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  Speaker 2: of others. You know, I will. It's lucky that I
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  Speaker 2: have this very natural ability, and I played in orchestras
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  Speaker 2: and throughout Union was doing a lot of solo performances.
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  Speaker 2: But what I did have was, or what I really
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  Speaker 2: struggled with, was performance anxiety. And it really got in
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  Speaker 2: the way of what I was capable of. It got
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  Speaker 2: in the way of my potential. Performance anxiety is also
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  Speaker 2: known as stage fright. That's probably what we used to
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  Speaker 2: refer it as. It's really intense at stress response that
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  Speaker 2: rises up from the depths of your nervous system when
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  Speaker 2: all eyes are on you. And it's not just about
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  Speaker 2: music or acting or sport. It can happen anywhere at
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  Speaker 2: any time. You know, when you're presenting at work, if
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  Speaker 2: you've got to do a presentation, or even if you've
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  Speaker 2: got to speak out in a meeting, you can get
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  Speaker 2: that performance anxiety when you're introducing yourself in a group.
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  Speaker 2: You know, when it's like, Okay, everyone introduced yourself, and
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  Speaker 2: like you're the last one to go, and that can
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  Speaker 2: build up that stress before it gets to you, or
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  Speaker 2: before a date. You might be going on a date
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  Speaker 2: you get really nervous, or an exam. A lot of
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  Speaker 2: kids are just about to start their year twelve exams,
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  Speaker 2: so there can be a lot of performance anxiety in
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  Speaker 2: those contexts. It is a form of social anxiety, and
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  Speaker 2: it's where our self worth feels like it's on the line.
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  Speaker 2: So it's this fear of being judged, of saying something stupid,
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  Speaker 2: of being seen as not good enough. And I think
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  Speaker 2: that doesn't have to be like a cognitive like a
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  Speaker 2: thought process. It can you can just feel it in
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  Speaker 2: your body. And at its core, performance anxiety is really
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  Speaker 2: about caring deeply, and it's that two sides of the
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  Speaker 2: coin idea that I often talk about. So you've got
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  Speaker 2: anxiety on one side and then something meaningful on the other.
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  Speaker 2: So when you really care about something, of course there's
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  Speaker 2: going to be anxiety. But it's when we get stuck
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  Speaker 2: focusing on that anxious side, the worry, the rumination, the hypervigilance,
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  Speaker 2: we can really lose sight of the side that gives
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  Speaker 2: it meaning, and over time that can quietly shape the
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  Speaker 2: direction of our lives because it can stop us in
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  Speaker 2: our tracks. If the anxiety is so intense, it's so uncomfortable,
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  Speaker 2: our mind is coming up with all the reasons why
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  Speaker 2: we should just turn around and run. It can stop
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  Speaker 2: us from the doing the things that are important to us.
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  Speaker 2: So what can we do about it? Well, start to
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  Speaker 2: recognize what it is that you care about. So when
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  Speaker 2: you can see the value underneath the anxiety, the reason
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  Speaker 2: that it really matters, you're more likely to be kinder
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  Speaker 2: to yourself. And this awareness brings acceptance and it really
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  Speaker 2: helps you widen your focus to the bigger picture. It
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  Speaker 2: gives you the why. And that reminded me of the
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  Speaker 2: philosopher Nietzsche who said, he who has a why to
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  Speaker 2: live for can bear almost anyhow. And then next is
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  Speaker 2: around working with your attention and focus on what you
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  Speaker 2: can control. So you can't control what thoughts or emotion
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  Speaker 2: us arise, but you can control how you respond to them,
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  Speaker 2: and this includes how much attention you give them. So
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  Speaker 2: you can't control what other people think, say, or do,
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  Speaker 2: but you can control whether that stops you from doing
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  Speaker 2: what's important to you. And of course a certain level
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  Speaker 2: of stress is actually quite useful. It sharpens focus, it
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  Speaker 2: boosts motivation. But it's when it tips over that's when
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  Speaker 2: it can make you freeze or crumble. And the key
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  Speaker 2: is learning to work with it and not against it.
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  Speaker 2: And you can ask yourself, is my anxiety coming from
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  Speaker 2: a lack of preparation? Is this about skill? Because if
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  Speaker 2: it is, that's something that you can fix. You can
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  Speaker 2: control that. So preparation is your best ally focusing on
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  Speaker 2: the process rather than the outcome. So if you're doing
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  Speaker 2: a talk, practice in front of a mirror, practice in
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  Speaker 2: frunt of a friend or even your dog. If you're
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  Speaker 2: going on a date, have a few conversation prompts in
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  Speaker 2: mind before you go. If you're contributing, or you want
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  Speaker 2: to contribute to a meeting, and you can you've kind
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  Speaker 2: of got an idea of what you want to add,
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  Speaker 2: then jot down what you want to say beforehand. Because
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  Speaker 2: confidence grows when you trust yourself, and that trust comes
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  Speaker 2: from knowing that you've done the work and those negative,
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  Speaker 2: self defeating thoughts they will show up, that's what our
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  Speaker 2: minds just do. But you can change your relationship with them.
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  Speaker 2: So research on cognitive reappraisal shows that reframing how we
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  Speaker 2: interpret a stressful situation can actually reduce its emotional impact.
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  Speaker 2: So for example, instead of thinking, oh my god, I'm
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  Speaker 2: so nervous, I can't do this, you might reframe that too, Okay,
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  Speaker 2: my body is just gearing up for me to perform.
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  Speaker 2: It's doing its job, and that shift in interpretation can
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  Speaker 2: make all the difference. And then finally to regulate your
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  Speaker 2: body's stress response, so your physiology, so using tools like
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  Speaker 2: box breathing, sighing, Like sighing is a big one. It's
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  Speaker 2: like whenever you see babies who have been crying a
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  Speaker 2: lot at the end, sort of towards the end, the
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  Speaker 2: way they calm themselves is they take this big breath
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  Speaker 2: in and then another little breath and then they sigh
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  Speaker 2: it out. Or grounding yourself through your senses, So notice
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  Speaker 2: what you can hear, you know, maybe it's five things
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  Speaker 2: you can hear, What can you see, what can you touch,
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  Speaker 2: what can you smell? Or even doing a quick burst
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  Speaker 2: of physical movement to release that excess energy. So when
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  Speaker 2: our daughter was sitting her year twelve exams last year,
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  Speaker 2: we suggested that she takes a moment to just before
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  Speaker 2: the exam to sprint on the spot or do a
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  Speaker 2: few quick squats before going in, And it's just thirty
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  Speaker 2: seconds is enough to get that heart rate up and
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  Speaker 2: shift your body from threat mode to okay, I've got
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  Speaker 2: this mode. And another thing she found helpful too, which
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  Speaker 2: I think can be used in other areas as well,
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  Speaker 2: was keeping a little distance from people who were very
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  Speaker 2: vocal about their nerves. So some people need to express
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  Speaker 2: their anxiety out loud, but being around that kind of
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  Speaker 2: energy can amplify your own anxiety. So it's okay to
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  Speaker 2: protect your headspace and your physiology by just stepping back.
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  Speaker 2: And one more really simple but powerful tool is to
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  Speaker 2: ship to your gaze to the distance. So when we're anxious,
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  Speaker 2: our vision naturally narrows into tunnel vision, which is linked
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  Speaker 2: to the brain's fight or flight circuits. But consciously relaxing
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  Speaker 2: your eyes and looking to the farthest point of the
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  Speaker 2: room or to the horizon if you've got a window there,
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  Speaker 2: or if you're outside, you're actually sending a signal of
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  Speaker 2: safety to your brain. So Andrew Huberman, who most of
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  Speaker 2: you will knows, very well known neuroscientist and podcaster but
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  Speaker 2: he talks about this. So when you dilate your gaze
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  Speaker 2: and go into panoramic vision, you're directly reducing the level
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  Speaker 2: of alertness and stressing your body because you're turning off
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  Speaker 2: that sympathetic nervous system drive. So in other words, you're
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  Speaker 2: broadening your visual field, which can help calm your physiology,
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  Speaker 2: bringing your body and mind back onto the same team.
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  Speaker 2: From my experience as a performer, the more I performed,
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  Speaker 2: the less my mind and body saw it as a threat.
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  Speaker 2: And that is gradual exposure in action. So I had
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  Speaker 2: to be willing to feel a level of discomfort and perform.
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  Speaker 2: And these days i'd still get anxious. I don't play
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  Speaker 2: the fleet anymore, but I still get anxious before presenting
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  Speaker 2: to corporates or school groups. But now those nerves they
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  Speaker 2: actually motivate me, So my attitude towards them has changed.
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  Speaker 2: So when I feel myself slipping into that threat mode,
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  Speaker 2: which can happen, I'm more aware of it and so
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  Speaker 2: I can catch myself on and then I can do
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  Speaker 2: what I can to slowly shift into more challenge mode instead.
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  Speaker 2: So if you or someone you know has an event
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  Speaker 2: coming up and the nerves are starting to kick in.
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  Speaker 2: Just remember that's okay. It means you care, find your why,
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  Speaker 2: soften your gaze to the father Father's point that you
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  Speaker 2: can see, do some box breathing or do a couple
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  Speaker 2: of big size move your body for thirty seconds, and
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  Speaker 2: then step in. If you've done the work, you can
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  Speaker 2: now go forward and trust yourself. I love helping people
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  Speaker 2: out in this space, in the performance anxiety space, So
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  Speaker 2: if you are struggling with this and you feel that
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  Speaker 2: it's actually getting in the way of you reaching your potential,
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  Speaker 2: please reach out to me. You can go to my
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  Speaker 2: website Carlietaylor Coaching dot com dot au and on that note,
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  Speaker 2: have a great week and I'll catch you next week.