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MONEY DIARIES: Jail, Debt & Learning to be Free · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
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Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money. Hello, and
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Speaker 3: welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials
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Speaker 3: who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of
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Speaker 3: our money diaries where we get to talk to one
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Speaker 3: of our incredible She's on the Money community members all
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Speaker 3: about their journey. Let's dive straight into it because we
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Speaker 3: got an email this week and it went a little
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Speaker 3: bit like this, Hey, She's on the Money. I grew
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Speaker 3: up in a family with a lot of money and
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Speaker 3: was very spoiled till one day when I was fifteen
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Speaker 3: years old, I was woken up by the police who
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Speaker 3: were raiding my family home. This resulted in my dad
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Speaker 3: going to prison and our family losing all of our money.
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Speaker 3: As a result, I've learned how to be one hundred
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Speaker 3: percent independent, manage my money, travel the world, pay for
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Speaker 3: an expensive wedding and honeymoon with cash after going through
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Speaker 3: a wild thirty thousand dollars debt cycle kicked off by
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Speaker 3: taking bad advice from my aunt. I can't wait to
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Speaker 3: share my story with you, money Diarist, I can't wait
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Speaker 3: for you to share your money story with us either.
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Speaker 2: Thank you.
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Speaker 3: What a wild journey.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been a riot.
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Speaker 3: That has been a ride. Indeed, I cannot wait to
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Speaker 3: hear more about it. First things first, though, I want
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Speaker 3: to know what grade would you give your money habits.
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Speaker 3: If I asked you to give yourself a grade from
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Speaker 3: A through to F.
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Speaker 2: I would give myself a B plus.
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Speaker 3: I think powesam all right, Well, let's kick straight into it,
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Speaker 3: money Diarist, I'm desperate. I need to know give us
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Speaker 3: a little bit more information about your money story.
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Speaker 4: So yeah, like it said, I grew up in a
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Speaker 4: wealthy family. I was pretty spoilt, got what I wanted.
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Speaker 4: We'd go on holidays all the time. And then yeah,
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Speaker 4: when I was a teenager, I woke up one morning
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Speaker 4: and it was a police officer waking me up telling
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Speaker 4: me I had to go sit in our living room
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Speaker 4: while our house was raided.
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Speaker 2: And then from that day it.
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Speaker 4: Was fourteen years until I saw my dad not behind
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Speaker 4: bus anymore. So this was super shocking, obviously and confronting
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Speaker 4: for everyone. Mostly I would say for my mum because
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Speaker 4: she had no idea, Oh my god, what was going on,
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Speaker 4: like where the extra money was coming from. So she
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Speaker 4: was just in shock and everything was taken away. So
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Speaker 4: the lifestyle of holidays and buying whatever you want and
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Speaker 4: all of that was taken away, and we had to
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Speaker 4: learn how to navigate that life without money. And my
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Speaker 4: mum hadn't worked for a long time since one of
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Speaker 4: my last siblings was born, so that was about ten years.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 4: Wow, So it was going through navigating getting money and
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Speaker 4: going back into the workforce and raising kids alone.
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Speaker 3: Oh my god, what is it like having a house raided.
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Speaker 2: It's not nice.
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Speaker 3: I can't imagine it being nice. It's not the number
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Speaker 3: one word that I would have used confronting, terrifying.
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Speaker 2: Maybe I wouldn't recommend it for anyone.
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Speaker 3: One out of ten. Can't recommend it.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, cannot.
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Speaker 4: I would say it's scary, Like even thinking about it now,
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Speaker 4: I still get a bit icky thinking about it all
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Speaker 4: these years later, and it's like, well, they treated us
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Speaker 4: like we were criminals, even though we were like little
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Speaker 4: kids and didn't know anything that was going on.
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Speaker 2: And yeah, they just make a whole lot of mess
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Speaker 2: and leave it.
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Speaker 3: And then what happens, what happens when they leave, like
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Speaker 3: you clean it up or you're not allowed to be there, or.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, we just had to clean up the mess. And
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Speaker 4: whatever they took, they took. They seized a lot of assets, cars, houses,
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Speaker 4: like all of that, and yeah, we're just clean up
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Speaker 4: the mess after it actually happened more.
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Speaker 3: Than once, so more than once.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been woken up a few times by the boys.
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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. So you're like, oh, wow, that's a
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Speaker 3: five am knock on the door. Must be the coppers.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, not ideal. So wouldn't recommend.
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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, No, that is literally the worst. And
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Speaker 3: obviously you had no idea about what was going on,
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Speaker 3: what was going on in the background. Obviously your dad
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Speaker 3: did knew.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, so my dad had a side hustle and he
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Speaker 4: was just manufacturing drugs.
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Speaker 3: Really just a side hustle.
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Speaker 2: Well, that's we call it. He had his normal business.
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Speaker 3: Some of us go on dogwalks, some of us take
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Speaker 3: our babysitting. Some of us Swedish manufactured drugs. One of
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Speaker 3: these things will get your house rated.
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Speaker 4: It'll get your head fast, but then it'll take you
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Speaker 4: real far back, real quick.
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Speaker 3: Yeah obviously, Oh my gosh, well that makes sense. Then
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Speaker 3: if the house got raided, I was like, oh, well,
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Speaker 3: where does this come from? Because it's not you know,
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Speaker 3: his dog walking business gone awrye, that's not how these
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Speaker 3: things work. But talk to me a little bit more
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Speaker 3: about I guess what happened with your mum, because that
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Speaker 3: would have been heartbreaking if she had an absolutely no
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Speaker 3: idea to then have to learn how to budget and
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Speaker 3: cash flow and deal with you and your siblings, and
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Speaker 3: obviously as a teenager, like teenagers suck to deal with already,
5:40
Speaker 3: imagine a teenager going through that circumstance, Like I just
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Speaker 3: I really feel like she might have had a bit
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Speaker 3: of a hard time throughout this process.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, So it was a huge shock and confronting for her. Obviously,
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Speaker 4: and it took a long time for her to find
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Speaker 4: her feet. So I guess it's like imagine having your
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Speaker 4: lifelong partner just taken away from you, the person that
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Speaker 4: kind of always relied on, and having not have worked
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Speaker 4: for a long time, and then now having to go
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Speaker 4: back through that. So at first it was kind of
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Speaker 4: like stick your head in the sand, and all our
6:20
Speaker 4: money went obviously towards solicitor bills and everything like that,
6:24
Speaker 4: and then eventually it got pretty bad, to the point
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Speaker 4: where the mortgage wasn't being paid and like everything was
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Speaker 4: in arrears. So actually, when I was in my early twenties,
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Speaker 4: I was asked to put the house in my name,
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Speaker 4: to have our mortgage transferred to my name and the
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Speaker 4: debt essentially, and it was sold to me like it
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Speaker 4: was going to be so good for me.
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Speaker 2: So I did it to save the family home.
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Speaker 4: And that was like the worst thing, the worst decision
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Speaker 4: I've ever made.
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Speaker 3: Why was that the worst decision you've ever made? What happened?
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Speaker 4: Well, because now it's like I don't have control, so
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Speaker 4: there's a caveat that, Like my mum and dad still
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Speaker 4: own it, and so I'm essentially I have their debt
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Speaker 4: on my.
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Speaker 2: Name and everything, like I can't really.
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Speaker 4: Move forward, like unless it gets sold, so like I
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Speaker 4: can never get a first home buyer grants or anything
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Speaker 4: like that. And now that I'm married, it's like a
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Speaker 4: whole thing, like me and my husband can't get that
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Speaker 4: because he has to go do that himself if he
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Speaker 4: wants to get their first home buyer Wow. And then
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Speaker 4: I'm always behind because I don't technically like I own it,
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Speaker 4: but I don't technically own something.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't actually get any of the benefits. You
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Speaker 3: just have to hold all the debt for them.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I just get the debt in the stress.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: Great, that's a really good money outcome. What is the
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Speaker 3: benefit to them for having their debt in your name
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Speaker 3: apart from the fact that obviously, you know, the debt
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Speaker 3: isn't lauding over them. Was it because they legally couldn't
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Speaker 3: have it anymore? Or what there?
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Speaker 4: Yeah, so because the house was going to be repossessed
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Speaker 4: and taken essentially taken off them because the mortgage wasn't
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Speaker 4: getting paid, it's just kept the house within the family.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, which who cares?
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Speaker 4: Why don't you just sell it and get a new one.
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Speaker 4: But that's that kind of generations holding onto the things
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Speaker 4: that they put their bloods, fed and tears into.
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Speaker 2: So yeah, that's the benefit.
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Speaker 4: And then like eventually they want to be able to
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Speaker 4: buy it back, but the credit history isn't the best,
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Speaker 4: and then they obviously have to prove servicing and all
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Speaker 4: that kind of stuff, like they pay it, they pay
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Speaker 4: the mortgage. But yeah, it's like all of that, it
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Speaker 4: kept it their house. That's the only benefit.
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Speaker 3: Interesting. I am again super pervy because this is an
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Speaker 3: anonymous money diary, so like I'm here to ask all
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Speaker 3: the questions. You said. They so your mum and dad
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Speaker 3: still together after all of this, Yes, yeah, oh my gosh,
8:53
Speaker 3: what a journey for them to go through. But do
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Speaker 3: you know what I'm really impressed. Yeah, if I found
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Speaker 3: out that my husband had a side hustle of producing
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Speaker 3: drugs and had to go to jail for fourteen years
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Speaker 3: and I was dumped with the kids, you best believe
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Speaker 3: that that wouldn't be the best outcome for him.
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Speaker 4: I said, that's my husband so many times, and I
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Speaker 4: just said, you know, if you go to jail, I'm
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Speaker 4: not sticking by yourself.
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Speaker 3: You're like, I have seen this firsthand and here's the outcome.
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Speaker 3: I'm just giving it to you straight, would not recommend.
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Speaker 2: I'm not visiting you in jail for every week for
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Speaker 2: fourteen years.
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Speaker 3: Like hell no, kudos to your mum though, that is apa. Yeah,
9:31
Speaker 3: all right, I want to talk a bit more about you. Now,
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Speaker 3: what do you currently do for work? How much money
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Speaker 3: do you earn?
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Speaker 4: So currently I'm in business development and I have an
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Speaker 4: online coaching business as.
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Speaker 2: A side hustle.
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Speaker 3: Oh, very cool.
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Speaker 4: So for my full time role, I earn one hundred
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Speaker 4: and ten thousand before.
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Speaker 3: Super Oh very nice.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, and my side hustle I make between like ten
9:55
Speaker 4: to thirty thousand a year, depending how much time and
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Speaker 4: effort I put into it.
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Speaker 3: Wow, what kind of coaching business is that?
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Speaker 2: I'm an online PT?
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Speaker 3: Yeah? Very cool? And how did you start that? How
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Speaker 3: do you promote that? That's very fun?
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Speaker 4: Well I started, I became a PT and then did
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Speaker 4: a whole bunch of extra courses on top of the
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Speaker 4: personal training course because that really doesn't teach you anything.
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Speaker 4: And then yeah, and then when I moved, I've decided
10:21
Speaker 4: I wanted to like move on to online. I decided
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Speaker 4: that because other than the time factor, you get so
10:27
Speaker 4: much more bang for your buck if you have an
10:29
Speaker 4: online coach rather than an in person coach. In an
10:32
Speaker 4: in person coach, you pay like one hundred dollars and
10:34
Speaker 4: you see them for forty five minutes a week and
10:36
Speaker 4: they just run you through a workout, whereas being an
10:39
Speaker 4: online coach, I could give my clients like a full
10:42
Speaker 4: program with like all of the exercises, their nutrition outlines,
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Speaker 4: everything like that, and then they do video check ins
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Speaker 4: and weekly check ins where I monitor what's going on
10:54
Speaker 4: with their body. So it's just a whole Like I
10:57
Speaker 4: would never just go to an imperson coach if I could,
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Speaker 4: because it gets so much more value with an online one.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, makes sense, all right. I want to know what
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Speaker 3: is currently your big money goal? What are you working towards?
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Speaker 4: So it was until recently our wedding. So we managed
11:14
Speaker 4: to obviously pay up in cash.
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Speaker 3: How recent was that? When did you get married?
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Speaker 2: It was late last year?
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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, so exciting. Congratulations thanks you.
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Speaker 2: Congratulations to you too.
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Speaker 3: Oh I love it. Tell me a bit more about
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Speaker 3: your wedding. How did you budget for it? How did
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Speaker 3: you work out how much you were going to spend?
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Speaker 4: Well, as you know, you think one thing and then
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Speaker 4: you go into it and it's a whole different ballgame.
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Speaker 2: It's a shock of your lifetime.
11:39
Speaker 4: And even though I had known, like in my head,
11:40
Speaker 4: I've always said to people, like, weddings are so expensive.
11:43
Speaker 4: I know they are, and I used to hear people
11:45
Speaker 4: be like, oh, I would never spend more than twenty
11:47
Speaker 4: thousand dollars on a wedding, And now, like even before
11:51
Speaker 4: I got engaged, I was like, that's not realistic unless
11:54
Speaker 4: you're having a backyard or like really small wedding.
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Speaker 2: And I never wanted that. My husband didn't want that.
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Speaker 4: We went into it thinking, can know, forty five thousand,
12:03
Speaker 4: that's like, all right, that's a good sum. But we
12:06
Speaker 4: decided we would choose the top things that we wanted
12:09
Speaker 4: to spend money on. So like it was like photography, videography, food, entertainment, venue,
12:16
Speaker 4: and then everything else. I was like budget mode, like wild,
12:21
Speaker 4: but it's still just like there's so many, so many
12:25
Speaker 4: things that add up.
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Speaker 2: So it was very quickly we're like, forty five.
12:27
Speaker 4: Thousand, it's not going to cut it, and then we're left,
12:30
Speaker 4: sixty five thousand is not going to cut it. No,
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Speaker 4: So I think it was it was around eighty thousand
12:37
Speaker 4: dollars in the end, but it was perfect, like I
12:40
Speaker 4: wouldn't change a thing, And that was me like being
12:44
Speaker 4: so like, I'm so good with getting the cheapest steel.
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Speaker 3: I can completely sympathize. Our budget went from one thing
12:51
Speaker 3: to a completely different thing. And while we weren't I
12:54
Speaker 3: don't know how you feel about this, but we weren't
12:56
Speaker 3: mad about it because we knew we were getting what
12:58
Speaker 3: we wanted. And once we, you know, started talking about
13:01
Speaker 3: the budgets and what it would cost and the vendors,
13:04
Speaker 3: you go, Okay, I can see why this costs. This
13:06
Speaker 3: we will pay for it. But I was still a
13:09
Speaker 3: bit salty. What was the number one thing that the
13:11
Speaker 3: price of it shocked you?
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Speaker 2: Florals?
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Speaker 3: Yes, Sam, Yes, flors It was wild. I was like, what,
13:21
Speaker 3: I did not believe that florals cost. And I get it,
13:24
Speaker 3: it's a lot of time, a lot of energy, a
13:25
Speaker 3: lot of effort. These things are expensive. But I genuinely believed.
13:30
Speaker 3: I was like, this will be our budget. That is
13:32
Speaker 3: so much money for flowers?
13:34
Speaker 2: Double it, yeah, double it, triple it. It was wild.
13:37
Speaker 2: Oh no.
13:38
Speaker 4: And then because obviously all the floods that happened last year,
13:42
Speaker 4: the florals went up more because it was harder to
13:45
Speaker 4: get them. And then, yeah, and I don't do things small.
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Speaker 2: I was like, I don't just have no Florence.
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Speaker 3: No, that's fair. No, I totally get that. And once
13:53
Speaker 3: you've gone that far, you're like, I haven't come this
13:55
Speaker 3: far to only come this far. Yeah, and it's a
13:57
Speaker 3: really negative mindset, like that is not a good thing.
14:00
Speaker 3: But at the same time, I can completely sympathize with
14:03
Speaker 3: brides who are like no, Like it was a week
14:05
Speaker 3: before the wedding and I decided to spend X on this,
14:07
Speaker 3: and I'm like, you know what, I get it now,
14:08
Speaker 3: I really do. Whereas before, having not planned a wedding,
14:11
Speaker 3: I'd be like, well, why can't you just be a
14:13
Speaker 3: bit more conscious about your spending. And now I've done it,
14:16
Speaker 3: I'm like, now, no no judgment ever here.
14:18
Speaker 4: Yeah. And my husband kept saying like, cry once about
14:21
Speaker 4: the price, and will have the wedding of our dreams
14:23
Speaker 4: or you're going to regret cutting it, And I was
14:26
Speaker 4: like okay, and I'm like I had this picture of
14:29
Speaker 4: exactly what I wanted and he was the one like,
14:31
Speaker 4: cry once, and we'll pay for it, Like it's fine.
14:34
Speaker 3: Okay. So I thought my husband would be really budget
14:37
Speaker 3: about things and not see the value. And he was
14:40
Speaker 3: the one that was like, but what about we add
14:41
Speaker 3: this and what about this? And I'd be like, do
14:43
Speaker 3: you realize how much these things cost? Steven? Do you
14:46
Speaker 3: not realize?
14:47
Speaker 4: Yeah?
14:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's wild.
14:49
Speaker 3: So it's surprising how involved the partner gets. Even though
14:52
Speaker 3: I thought that I would be planning one hundred percent
14:54
Speaker 3: of it, wasn't the case. Yeah.
14:55
Speaker 2: No, my husband, I did everything, but he did have
14:58
Speaker 2: like decisions. I'm the doer. He just follows a lot.
15:03
Speaker 3: Fair.
15:04
Speaker 4: He complained that he had to write a speech because
15:06
Speaker 4: he's like I thought I just had to show up.
15:07
Speaker 3: I was like, no, oh, no, sir, no, but he
15:11
Speaker 3: did a great job. Yeah. Good. So, and now you're
15:14
Speaker 3: off on a honeymoon. How did you decide when to
15:17
Speaker 3: do that, because obviously that's a couple of months after
15:19
Speaker 3: getting married. Was that strategic or purposeful?
15:22
Speaker 4: It was because our wedding was so expensive, so we
15:26
Speaker 4: needed time to save for the honeymoon. We didn't include
15:30
Speaker 4: the honeymoon and our wedding funds. Yeah, so we've saved
15:34
Speaker 4: since the wedding are crazy to pay for the honeymoon
15:38
Speaker 4: because it's a long, longer honeymoon than the average person.
15:41
Speaker 3: That's so exciting though, Yeah, yes.
15:43
Speaker 2: So exciting.
15:44
Speaker 4: And I had always said I wanted to go here
15:47
Speaker 4: for my honeymoon. So I'm doing it, and I'm paying
15:50
Speaker 4: for it, and you know, like weddings, travels doubled, so
15:54
Speaker 4: everything's dubby as it would have been four years ago.
15:57
Speaker 4: But I never regret spending money on experiences. It's just
16:02
Speaker 4: being able to say for it.
16:03
Speaker 2: Obviously.
16:03
Speaker 3: It doesn't make it hurt any less. Though. So when
16:06
Speaker 3: you get back from your honeymoon, what is going to
16:09
Speaker 3: be your money goal? Returning?
16:11
Speaker 4: Returning, We're going to knuckle down and save for a
16:14
Speaker 4: deposit to buy a house.
16:16
Speaker 3: That's exciting, that's so fun, all these big ticket items
16:19
Speaker 3: being ticked off. Let's hold it right there and go
16:22
Speaker 3: to a.
16:23
Speaker 2: Really quick break.
16:28
Speaker 3: I want to know next question, do you have any investments?
16:32
Speaker 3: If so, what are they?
16:34
Speaker 4: Yes, so I obviously have my super which is at
16:38
Speaker 4: about fifty five thousand.
16:41
Speaker 2: Dollars from memory.
16:42
Speaker 3: That's very good.
16:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was actually surprised when we're doing our wills
16:45
Speaker 2: the other day.
16:46
Speaker 3: That's solicitor okay, but like queen behavior, Yes, we do
16:49
Speaker 3: wheels here.
16:50
Speaker 4: I was like, we need to do our wills, so yeah,
16:53
Speaker 4: and that's I was like, wow, I was shocked because
16:54
Speaker 4: I swear last time I checked it was.
16:56
Speaker 2: Much lower than that.
16:57
Speaker 4: And then we have about eight thousand dollar in like
17:00
Speaker 4: ETFs and shares and then a few thousand in crypto,
17:04
Speaker 4: which I just kind of leave that to ride.
17:08
Speaker 3: Very fair, all right. And then debts. Obviously you've got
17:11
Speaker 3: this house debt. Do you have any other debts and
17:15
Speaker 3: what are they.
17:16
Speaker 2: Other than that?
17:16
Speaker 4: I currently have fifteen hundred left on a loan that
17:21
Speaker 4: is only about eight percent interest, which I will be
17:23
Speaker 4: paying off as soon as we get back from our honeymoon.
17:27
Speaker 2: And that loan was.
17:29
Speaker 4: Over thirty thousand from consolidating all of the credit card debt.
17:34
Speaker 3: I was in, Oh my gosh, that's so close, Like
17:37
Speaker 3: that is so close to finishing it. What are you
17:39
Speaker 3: going to do when you've paid all off? I feel
17:40
Speaker 3: like it's always super anti climac diicts. So we've got
17:42
Speaker 3: a plan for ourselves to have an exciting time.
17:44
Speaker 4: Yes, I don't know, maybe like go out from bougie
17:48
Speaker 4: dinner or something.
17:49
Speaker 3: Like we did know, or a bottle of champagne or
17:51
Speaker 3: something like, there has to be something because when you
17:54
Speaker 3: submit your final debt repayment, they're like thank you, and
17:57
Speaker 3: then the window closes and you're like, whath that's it.
18:00
Speaker 3: There's no like streamers or balloons. No one locks on
18:03
Speaker 3: my door and says you're out of debt, Like what
18:05
Speaker 3: is this about?
18:06
Speaker 4: Yeah?
18:06
Speaker 2: Might buy some streamers that you popper and do it.
18:09
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. I am totally behind that.
18:12
Speaker 3: Please film it and say that to me because I
18:14
Speaker 3: get so excited. Money darist. I want to know what
18:17
Speaker 3: do you think your best money habit is?
18:20
Speaker 4: My best money habit is I can get a bargain anywhere,
18:24
Speaker 4: and I make money work for me in every way
18:27
Speaker 4: I can. I'm not a stinge, but I'll always look
18:31
Speaker 4: for the best steal if the products the same.
18:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, airpic and flipping that that's a very good money habit.
18:37
Speaker 3: But what is your worst money habit?
18:39
Speaker 4: My worst money habit is I would say gift giving.
18:43
Speaker 4: Gifts is my love language, and I budget for it,
18:46
Speaker 4: but I don't think I budget enough. And because I've
18:49
Speaker 4: lived very close to my family and friends, I can't
18:52
Speaker 4: just do like kind of free things, so I often
18:55
Speaker 4: am sending them things like gifts or flowers or anything
19:00
Speaker 4: like that and buy them experiences.
19:02
Speaker 2: And that's obviously not very cheap.
19:04
Speaker 4: And I always think I'm only going to buy a
19:05
Speaker 4: few people, but I just randomly send people gifts to
19:08
Speaker 4: them up things like that.
19:10
Speaker 3: That's really sweet though that's not the worst. That's so wholesome.
19:14
Speaker 1: I love it.
19:15
Speaker 4: It's a good thing that I just see being more realistic,
19:18
Speaker 4: Like I need a bunch of thousands for that.
19:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like instead of sending flowers, maybe, like let's switch
19:23
Speaker 3: that out. Just a nice note or something occasionally.
19:26
Speaker 2: That's true, a nice note. I never think of that.
19:29
Speaker 3: But then I always come to writing the nice note
19:31
Speaker 3: and I'll be like, the nice note would look really
19:33
Speaker 3: good on a bunch of flowers.
19:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, or like with the candle or something.
19:36
Speaker 3: So I send it, yeah, one hundred percent. And you
19:38
Speaker 3: know what always gets me when you do the florest checkout,
19:41
Speaker 3: because gifting is my love language too, is the upsell.
19:43
Speaker 3: They're like, do you want to add the vase? Do
19:45
Speaker 3: you want to add the chocolates or the Teddy Bear
19:48
Speaker 3: or the whatever else? And you're like yes, And also
19:50
Speaker 3: I want to buy your gift card, even though you're
19:52
Speaker 3: going to give me a free one, like I always
19:54
Speaker 3: do that too. It's really bad.
19:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like they even charge you for a card now, yeah.
19:58
Speaker 3: What the heck is that. I just believe they should
20:01
Speaker 3: be absorbing that into the cost of the flowers. Instead
20:03
Speaker 3: of charging his fifty bucks charge me fifty five. I
20:06
Speaker 3: won't notice the difference and say that there's a free
20:08
Speaker 3: card like that way, I'm paying for it, but I
20:10
Speaker 3: don't feel like I'm paying for it.
20:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agreed.
20:13
Speaker 4: I feel like it'd be better for me mentally if
20:15
Speaker 4: it's just all one price.
20:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly. None of that helps my budget, but
20:20
Speaker 3: it does help.
20:20
Speaker 2: Me mentally, yes, mentally.
20:22
Speaker 3: Money Doris, obviously you've come a long way, Like going
20:25
Speaker 3: through the situation you went through is insane, but unfortunately
20:30
Speaker 3: it's not an exclusive experience. This happens unfortunately every day
20:34
Speaker 3: to families around Australia. What would you say to baby
20:38
Speaker 3: you at fifteen, what would you say to her now
20:42
Speaker 3: to say, ah, it's actually going to be okay, because
20:45
Speaker 3: I'm assuming you were terrified at the time.
20:48
Speaker 2: Yeah.
20:48
Speaker 4: I was terrified at the time, especially because I was
20:51
Speaker 4: really close with my dad, so that was kind of
20:55
Speaker 4: losing him, was like losing my best friend, even though
20:58
Speaker 4: he was obviously around in the house anymore.
21:02
Speaker 2: I would say, like, this.
21:04
Speaker 4: Is probably as horrible as it is, it's probably the
21:07
Speaker 4: best thing that's going to ever happen to you, because
21:10
Speaker 4: you're going to learn how to be so independent and
21:14
Speaker 4: not rely on anyone and just do everything on your
21:18
Speaker 4: own and pay for yourself and pay your own way,
21:20
Speaker 4: and you're just going to.
21:23
Speaker 2: Overcome everything.
21:24
Speaker 4: Whereas some of them, my siblings that were older at
21:27
Speaker 4: the time, they had been spoon fed to the point
21:30
Speaker 4: that when they moved out, their rent was paid and
21:33
Speaker 4: they've never come out of that mindset. So for it
21:36
Speaker 4: to happen to me when I was younger, I'm so
21:38
Speaker 4: glad because, yeah, I've just gone out and done it
21:41
Speaker 4: all myself, and I have a thing where I'll always
21:43
Speaker 4: own my own money and I don't want anyone to
21:45
Speaker 4: ever like have that over me.
21:48
Speaker 3: I feel like this is a really good place for
21:49
Speaker 3: this conversation to lead because on the surface, like I
21:52
Speaker 3: don't mean to generalize, you are a very beautiful blonde
21:55
Speaker 3: woman who has just gotten married. You obviously had a
21:59
Speaker 3: dream wedding, Like it's stunning, right, And I think that
22:03
Speaker 3: if people see this on Instagram or on Facebook or online,
22:06
Speaker 3: they must be like, oh, she must be so entitled,
22:08
Speaker 3: like you know, her family must be so wealthy because
22:10
Speaker 3: a lot of this stuff is hidden, right, people aren't
22:12
Speaker 3: going to know the full story of your family because
22:14
Speaker 3: it's none of their damn business. Like people would see this,
22:18
Speaker 3: but the reality is you did this all yourself. This
22:21
Speaker 3: wasn't your family funding your wedding, This wasn't your family
22:24
Speaker 3: organizing your honeymoon or setting your financial goals. And you
22:28
Speaker 3: won't have that leg up. Do you find that people
22:31
Speaker 3: still put you into that bucket of like, oh, she
22:33
Speaker 3: must just be really entitled.
22:34
Speaker 4: Yes, people look at me and like on any social media,
22:38
Speaker 4: but even people that meet me or like me and
22:41
Speaker 4: my husband, they think, oh, they've just got it lucky.
22:44
Speaker 4: They just earn lots of money, They just this, They
22:47
Speaker 4: just that. It's the same with fitness, when people look
22:50
Speaker 4: at someone with like a strong muscular body and they're like, oh,
22:53
Speaker 4: it must be easy for her, and it's like, well, no,
22:55
Speaker 4: we work really hard to get to this point. I
23:00
Speaker 4: was in thirty plus thousand dollars of debt, credit card debt,
23:04
Speaker 4: and I had to dig myself out of that and
23:06
Speaker 4: I never thought I would get out of that, and
23:08
Speaker 4: I'm fen hundred dollars away from it, Like.
23:11
Speaker 2: We're just so exciting yet so exciting, and they don't
23:14
Speaker 2: know your parts.
23:15
Speaker 4: And because I don't, like, I don't lead with hey like, yeah,
23:18
Speaker 4: this happened to me. I don't actually tell anyone about
23:20
Speaker 4: it because I don't want their judgments. I don't want
23:23
Speaker 4: them to think of me in a different way. But yeah, like,
23:26
Speaker 4: you don't know what's happened in people's lives to get
23:29
Speaker 4: them to where they are. Some people yet it's on
23:31
Speaker 4: a silver platter, but not really like we could say
23:34
Speaker 4: I was privileged because I was, and I'm privileged in
23:37
Speaker 4: the fact that I have a loving family who always
23:40
Speaker 4: kind of stick by each other's side. But yeah, we
23:42
Speaker 4: did have everything taken away from us and did have
23:45
Speaker 4: to try and save the day, which hasn't been a
23:48
Speaker 4: great idea. And it's taken a while, but slowly come
23:51
Speaker 4: to the point where I feel like I'm in control
23:54
Speaker 4: of my finances and I'm on top of it and
23:57
Speaker 4: it's all on me.
23:58
Speaker 2: The buck ends with me.
23:59
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I just I find it really interesting because
24:02
Speaker 3: I guess the more successful you are the more you
24:05
Speaker 3: work towards things, you know, the wedding, the house, you know,
24:08
Speaker 3: organizing all of this stuff, I think people just automatically
24:11
Speaker 3: start assuming that you must be privileged to achieve these things.
24:14
Speaker 3: But it's all about putting your head down and getting
24:17
Speaker 3: the work done and organizing it. And I mean, I've
24:19
Speaker 3: said it before. If you're in a situation where you
24:22
Speaker 3: are in poverty, no budgeting isn't going to get you
24:24
Speaker 3: out of that. There are a million other resources that
24:26
Speaker 3: you can rely on. But if you see somebody who
24:30
Speaker 3: has achieved some things, I think we need to be
24:32
Speaker 3: reframing our thoughts and going, well, how did they do that?
24:35
Speaker 3: Like if you're interested about it, but also knowing deep
24:37
Speaker 3: down it's actually none of your business how they achieved
24:40
Speaker 3: that focus on you. If you're not in the position
24:43
Speaker 3: you want to be in, what are you doing to
24:44
Speaker 3: change that? Instead of looking at someone else and being like,
24:47
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, that money, Dirist is so lucky. I
24:49
Speaker 3: can't believe they had an eighty thousand dollar wedding. Like
24:51
Speaker 3: those are your goals and your values, and I'm so
24:53
Speaker 3: bloody glad that you got to achieve them. And I
24:57
Speaker 3: think it's a good conversation. So in light of that,
24:59
Speaker 3: it sounds you are an actual legend having gone through
25:03
Speaker 3: all of the circumstances that you've gone through. You know,
25:06
Speaker 3: obviously growing up in that situation would have been really tumultuous.
25:10
Speaker 3: You told Anna Lisa, our producer before we interviewed you,
25:13
Speaker 3: that you actually moved out at sixteen as well, which
25:16
Speaker 3: is only going to add to all of that stress.
25:19
Speaker 3: But now you're a business development manager and you make
25:21
Speaker 3: six figures and you're killing it. Your super's looking really sexy.
25:24
Speaker 3: You have an online side hustle. You just paid off
25:27
Speaker 3: your wedding in cash, which was eighty grand. You got
25:30
Speaker 3: fifty five thousand dollars in souper. You're only fifteen hundred
25:33
Speaker 3: dollars away from being out of debt completely when it
25:35
Speaker 3: comes to personal debt. Do you really think you're a
25:38
Speaker 3: B plus?
25:38
Speaker 4: Come on, yes, I do think I'm a B plus right,
25:42
Speaker 4: all of it I've been.
25:43
Speaker 2: I could do more like.
25:44
Speaker 4: I just want more and chairs and will consistently be
25:47
Speaker 4: investing in them.
25:49
Speaker 2: That's the only thing.
25:49
Speaker 3: All right, Well, I will let you have that because
25:51
Speaker 3: I still think B plus is a pretty good grade.
25:53
Speaker 3: But oh my gosh, you are doing so well, and
25:55
Speaker 3: I'm so proud of you, and it's just so interesting
25:58
Speaker 3: and a little bit pervy to hear from someone who's
26:00
Speaker 3: been through a circumstance like that, So I'm really grateful
26:03
Speaker 3: that you shared it. So thank you for coming on
26:04
Speaker 3: the show Money Drest. It has been a pleasure.
26:07
Speaker 2: Thank you very much, Thanks for having me.
26:09
Speaker 3: All Right, guys, that is all we have time for today.
26:11
Speaker 3: We will see you on Wednesday. The advice shared on
26:21
Speaker 3: She's on the Money is general in nature and does
26:23
Speaker 3: not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists
26:27
Speaker 3: purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon
26:31
Speaker 3: to make an investment or financial decision. If you do
26:34
Speaker 3: choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS TMD
26:37
Speaker 3: and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.
26:41
Speaker 5: Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives
26:45
Speaker 5: of Money Shova Pty Ltd ABN three two one IS
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Speaker 5: six four nine two seven seven zero eight AFSL four
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27:00
Speaker 4: The same would say