Latest / The Dr. Psych Mom Show with clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten / Why Do People With "Great Lives" Still Suffer From Depression?
Transcript
- 0:05Hi everybody, and welcome to the dr.
- 0:08Psych mom show. I wanted everybody to look at
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- 0:17Before I start talking because I have so many extra episodes and
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- 0:32So do that now and then we can move on to to our topic that's
- 0:38for today. On the docket is why the people
- 0:42with good lives that seem like they ought to be happy.
- 0:46Why do those people suffer from depression sometimes?
- 0:49Right? So I got this question and my
- 0:53Facebook page and somebody said why if somebody has a good life
- 0:58with whatever they want you no family support a family, good
- 1:02job whatever. Why can those people be?
- 1:05Dan, you know, working in my field, sometimes you you're not
- 1:08sure what you know like how people even think about
- 1:13depression or things like that anymore to me.
- 1:16It's so obvious in my field that I work with.
- 1:19So many people all the time that I have great lives and suffer
- 1:22from depression. I'm great ostensibly from the
- 1:24outside. I forget that that seemed idea
- 1:28to many people is surprising or confusing.
- 1:32So, I wanted to explain Lane why people do suffer from depression
- 1:38and why it transcends, what sort of life, you, you seem to have
- 1:43so like everything depression. And by the way, you could also
- 1:46insert anxiety here or any anything borderline personality,
- 1:52really any any issue at all PTSD, people understand more
- 1:57PTSD comes from trauma. But in even with PTSD, there are
- 2:01genetic loading. So there's, you know, that are
- 2:04going to make you more Are likely to get PTSD from any
- 2:08trauma. So everything is nature and
- 2:11nurture, everything is both nature, and nurture, you come
- 2:14into this world with your DNA and that is coded for
- 2:20predispositions to certain issues that your parents
- 2:24struggled with, you know, your parents or the generation
- 2:27before. But most often you don't really
- 2:28have to go further than your parents to see why you may have
- 2:32a genetic predisposition for certain things in.
- 2:35Fact, the length of time that babies spend crying after they
- 2:38get their heel prick to take their blood as a newborn baby in
- 2:42the hospital predict whether they're going to be depressed at
- 2:46age 18. That's a study that I read some
- 2:48years ago that was very interesting.
- 2:50Literally the baby comes out of the womb and is already
- 2:55predisposed to cry a lot or not in response to the heel prick,
- 2:59the needle. And if the ones who cry longer
- 3:03and are less readily soothed are Likelier to be depressed later
- 3:06on. They just have that genetic
- 3:09loading for depression, and that there's really nothing that you
- 3:13could do about that. So, environment is extremely
- 3:18important to, but frequently the best environment, the world
- 3:23cannot make up for what you're genetically predisposed to have.
- 3:26So, if you have two depressed parents, let's say, and then
- 3:29you're adopted a way into a family of extremely laid-back.
- 3:34Loving nurturing. Cheering people.
- 3:36There is still a chance that you're going to end up with
- 3:38depression down the line because you are genetically predisposed
- 3:42toward depression now because environment can have a
- 3:46moderating influence. You are maybe less likely to
- 3:50have depression and and or the depression would be less severe
- 3:54than if you had remained in this.
- 3:56Hypothetical situation being raised by two parents who are
- 3:59both extremely depressed. So what happens, by the way,
- 4:03most people are not adopted away.
- 4:05We know a lot of our, we have a lot of our knowledge about
- 4:09nature versus nurture and the relative importance of each from
- 4:13twin studies where identical twins are adopted away into
- 4:17different families. I actually just saw that.
- 4:20There are interesting documentaries out now because
- 4:22some of these studies were done in the 50s through 90s and they
- 4:26were very unethical. And they the Twins were adopted
- 4:29away on purpose and two different families and not ever
- 4:32told that they had a twin. And the families were not told
- 4:34that the baby they were He had an identical twin and this was
- 4:37done for the purpose of these studies.
- 4:40And for this body of research on nature versus nurture, which is
- 4:43obviously very unethical, but it does not mean that important
- 4:47research wasn't done. It shouldn't have been done.
- 4:51Of course, people should have known that they had a twin,
- 4:53right? But, you know, the data stands
- 4:56and so we know a lot from those twin studies and from other
- 5:01studies of babies and, and following them YouTube channel
- 5:05research, Etc. So the point here is that
- 5:09there's something called the diathesis-stress model of mental
- 5:14illness. And it means that if you have a
- 5:16genetic loading for a specific mental illness, you are likelier
- 5:22to express that if you are in a stressful situation.
- 5:27So for example, boot camp turns on the schizophrenia Gene in a
- 5:35Out of men that had a genetic loading for schizophrenia.
- 5:40And then they may not that may not have ever happened though.
- 5:45It may not have come out unless they had a major stressor.
- 5:49So there was a study I read years ago about that.
- 5:52This was a lot of what we learned in grad school was the
- 5:55relative importance of nature versus nurture.
- 5:58So if you undergo an extremely stressful experience, you're
- 6:01likely your to express your genes basically.
- 6:05Turned on like you have a dormant depressive
- 6:11predisposition but then if you undergo a massive stress that it
- 6:14turns on. So a trauma can turn on the
- 6:19depression gene or the anxiety gene or what have you.
- 6:23So the reason that people who have supportive families and a
- 6:28great job and they're real attractive and Wealthy like
- 6:31movie stars, right? Movie stars kill themselves,
- 6:34they have depression, Not all of them, obviously, some of them
- 6:37and why people think that they are, you know, living the dream
- 6:41because there are biological predispositions for depression.
- 6:45Depression is an illness. You do not have the rights, you
- 6:49know, neurotransmitters going on.
- 6:50You don't have enough serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine in
- 6:54the right balance in your brain. This is frequently due to
- 6:58genetics, just coming from a depressed parent or, you know,
- 7:03to depressed parents. Then also, Most people are not
- 7:06adopted way, they're raised by those same depressed, parents,
- 7:09and parents with depression, don't parent as well as Parents
- 7:12Without depression and I could link you to things.
- 7:14I've written about how depression impact parenting
- 7:17doesn't mean everybody with depression is a bad parent.
- 7:20It just means that you are teaching usually more negative
- 7:27worldview because that's what you have, you know?
- 7:30So that's why it's so important to get help if you are a parent
- 7:33with depression. Both therapy and medication can
- 7:37help. So, it's nature and nurture,
- 7:39you're coming out with jeans for depression, and then you are
- 7:43being parented by somebody with depression, who's then
- 7:46implicitly training, you to view the world in a negative way.
- 7:49And also depressed, parents, they do less of certain
- 7:54important things when the child is in critical stages such as
- 7:57mirroring, when the child, is a baby.
- 8:00If you feel very apathetic and down, then when your baby
- 8:04laughs. And smiles and Chatters instead
- 8:06of laughing and smiling and making noises back, you just
- 8:09don't do anything, you know. And and that that's upsetting to
- 8:14the baby and kind of doesn't show the baby that they have any
- 8:18agency in the world. It's like an example of the
- 8:21still face experiment which is an analogue of Parental
- 8:25depression, where the baby tries to talk and make noises, and the
- 8:31parent is told not to respond at all and just have a still face
- 8:34first. D s and this upsets the baby and
- 8:37they don't do this to be cruel. But as to show what it does,
- 8:41when a child does not get a healthy level of Parental
- 8:45responsibilities and I could link you to the still face
- 8:48experiment into something on that.
- 8:51But the point here, is that you could have the best life in the
- 8:56world, your your could have a loving spouse, you could have
- 8:59great kids, you could be like, Rich, whatever but if Your brain
- 9:06is has a genetic wiring for depression, then you're going to
- 9:11be depressed. Also hormonal changes, many
- 9:15women have pmdd that you that is a genetic thing to premenstrual
- 9:19dysphoric disorder. It's like no matter what they
- 9:21do, no matter how great their life is, they're going to feel
- 9:23like shit the week before their period.
- 9:25I just talked about this in a different podcast.
- 9:28What about hormonal changes in menopause?
- 9:30That's pretty big. What about men with low
- 9:33testosterone, if Testosterone goes down men and up.
- 9:36Depressed, a lot of the time, it doesn't matter how wealthy and
- 9:41successful they are, they will still be depressed if they have
- 9:43low testosterone. What about childhood trauma?
- 9:47You could have really no loading for depression at all, but if
- 9:51you're abused throughout your childhood, that turns off
- 9:54certain genes and turns on other ones and then you're in a
- 9:58constant trauma, you know, induced State later on, You
- 10:03release more cord. Has all the stress hormone as a
- 10:06child and it rewires your brain. So that your hyper-vigilant and
- 10:10anxious and depressed later in your life, some of these issues
- 10:15can be ameliorated with treatments.
- 10:16Some of them are harder to address.
- 10:19So there are a million reasons that have nothing to do with
- 10:24your external life that show why you're depressed.
- 10:29And if you don't realize this, then you may blame things on
- 10:33like your marriage. Your job or the fact that you're
- 10:37not the weight you want to be or whatever.
- 10:39But it's never just one thing, you know, it's usually a whole
- 10:44bunch of things. I mean, it doesn't like so a lot
- 10:47of people they get divorced and they're like, oh my depression
- 10:50was due to my bad marriage. Now it's all going to be better.
- 10:53I mean like that never happens. Really, like if you are somebody
- 10:57who struggles with depression, your depression is going to come
- 10:59back, you know? And at that point where it comes
- 11:01back, you're going to be like, oh, I guess it wasn't due to my
- 11:04Marriage. Now, that doesn't mean your
- 11:05marriage wasn't bad. It doesn't mean that you
- 11:07shouldn't have divorce, but what it means is that there's usually
- 11:10not a one. One variable Magic Bullet
- 11:14solution to depression. Depression is a multivariate.
- 11:18A deep-seated illness, you know, just like getting into a better
- 11:22marriage. Is it going to cure your
- 11:23diabetes? This is not going to cure your
- 11:25cancer. It's not going to cure your
- 11:26depression. You know when women have
- 11:29atypical depression, they're more responsive to pleasurable
- 11:31events but eventually they go back.
- 11:34To a baseline of depression. So you know, in my situation I
- 11:39have been divorced and then I remarried and I still struggle
- 11:43with depression, you know, it's nothing my husband did or didn't
- 11:46do you know? It's it's how I am and there are
- 11:50ways to treat it, there are certainly ways to try to keep
- 11:52yourself in a good place. Whether that's therapy
- 11:56medication. Exercise meditation looks
- 11:59different for everybody but it's never just like finding the
- 12:02right person or finding the The right job or, you know, or
- 12:08moving like people try to move, they're like, oh, I'm just not
- 12:11happy because I live in a city. I'm going to live in the
- 12:13country. Well then guess what you're
- 12:15depressed in the country to if you don't see that it's a deeper
- 12:18issue. And if it's unresolved childhood
- 12:21trauma, you got to work on that in therapy.
- 12:24You know, it's really important to understand that if you do not
- 12:28process and work through your unresolved childhood issues that
- 12:32that's going to keep and perpetuate.
- 12:34Depression. So there are a lot of causes of
- 12:38depression and there are a lot of reasons that people try to
- 12:44obviously think that there could be a Magic Bullet that's really
- 12:48a nice thing to think it's a fantasy though you know and it
- 12:52doesn't really help because then you're just going to keep on
- 12:54moving or changing jobs or changing spouses or something.
- 12:57If you don't realize that the issue is more internal and
- 13:01there's a book about meditation. Ation wherever you go.
- 13:06There you are. I could link you to that.
- 13:08And that really is a one-sentence summary of why it
- 13:12doesn't work to try to just change your job and then
- 13:15everything's going to be better. I mean, certainly people could
- 13:17find careers that are better suited to them and so forth, but
- 13:20it's never just one reason why a person has clinical, depression,
- 13:23you know, it's usually nature and nurture combined with
- 13:27whatever stressors are being undergone in the moment.
- 13:30And even if there are no, real stressors to speak of in a
- 13:34person's life, Life, they can still suffer from the illness of
- 13:37depression, which is a brain illness, right?
- 13:40It is a brain illness, seasonal, depression, pmdd
- 13:45hormone-related, depression, all of these things they just turn
- 13:49on sometimes you're okay, okay, okay.
- 13:51And then you're not and there wasn't really a trigger, that's
- 13:55external, it's hormonal, biological seasonal, I mean
- 14:00there could be so many reasons. So hopefully this gave you View.
- 14:04A little bit of an understanding about this difficult topic to
- 14:08understand. And thank you so much for
- 14:12listening and listen to this one again, you know, and if there
- 14:14were things that you didn't understand, write them down,
- 14:17Google them, Google more about depression, you could ask me to
- 14:21about different sorts of questions that you have when you
- 14:24listen to my podcast, things that you'd like me to expand on,
- 14:28but for now, I hope that this one gave you a little bit of a
- 14:31broader understanding about the confusing topic.
- 14:34Topic of why people with ostensibly great lives.
- 14:37Still suffer from depression.