Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 214. Eating Disorder, Grief & The Dark Side of The Dance World With Kyra Dooley

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214. Eating Disorder, Grief & The Dark Side of The Dance World With Kyra Dooley · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

0:05
Speaker 1: Apodjay Production.
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Speaker 2: Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy and I'm Tiana.
0:14
Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment.
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Speaker 3: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most
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Speaker 3: authentic version of yourself.
0:21
Speaker 2: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
0:23
Speaker 2: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone
0:26
Speaker 2: else is too afraid to talk about.
0:28
Speaker 3: Get ready for your next level of self.
0:35
Speaker 2: Hello everybody, welcome back to she Rises. Happy Monday. We
0:38
Speaker 2: have a very special guest on today, introducing Kira, my
0:41
Speaker 2: dance teacher.
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Speaker 4: Hello, but we're not gonna be talking about dance.
0:45
Speaker 2: There's lots of things we're gonna be going deep into today.
0:47
Speaker 2: But for anyone who doesn't know who you are, you
0:49
Speaker 2: tell us a little bit about yourself.
0:51
Speaker 4: Hello.
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Speaker 1: I'm Kaira.
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Speaker 5: I am twenty five and I was born and raised
0:57
Speaker 5: on the Gold Coast. I have been a dancer since
1:00
Speaker 5: I was five years old, so twenty years now, which
1:04
Speaker 5: is crazy.
1:06
Speaker 2: Yeah.
1:06
Speaker 5: I do full time modeling, social media. I have an agency,
1:11
Speaker 5: a modeling and social media agency called Maverick.
1:15
Speaker 1: And just a girl that enjoys the beach, enjoys.
1:20
Speaker 2: Yeah.
1:20
Speaker 1: Life just an everyday routine as well.
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Speaker 4: Just yeah, amazing.
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Speaker 2: So we're gonna dive deep today into dancing of course,
1:29
Speaker 2: also the dark side of the dance world. Yeah, I
1:31
Speaker 2: grew up dancing, and I know there's definitely a darker
1:33
Speaker 2: side to it. Yeah, grief and also your journey with
1:37
Speaker 2: an eating disorder. Yeah, so let's take it back to Jankari.
1:41
Speaker 2: You obviously started dancing when you were five years old.
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Speaker 4: You loved it.
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Speaker 2: I'm guessing it was almost like a hobby but also
1:47
Speaker 2: got you through your hard times.
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Speaker 1: Yes, honestly, and it still does now.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, Like whenever I feel like I have a day
1:54
Speaker 5: or even the other day, I took class at one
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Speaker 5: of my friends classes and I messaged her after and
1:59
Speaker 5: I was like I needed that and it just and
2:01
Speaker 5: it wasn't because I got picked out or was it
2:04
Speaker 5: me was anything special, But I just like whenever I'm dancing,
2:08
Speaker 5: and you might feel like this as well, I don't
2:10
Speaker 5: really think about anything else and you're so involved in it.
2:14
Speaker 5: So even now, like whenever I'm having those days, I'm like,
2:17
Speaker 5: I just need to take a class for myself. Yeah,
2:20
Speaker 5: and then I'm kind of getting back to who I am.
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Speaker 2: Yes, I that even in my teenage years because I
2:26
Speaker 2: danced so much, literally every single afternoon.
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Speaker 4: But it was my escape from being at home with
2:30
Speaker 4: my stepdad.
2:31
Speaker 2: But you're right, I didn't think about anything else except
2:33
Speaker 2: the moves and being in my body and the music
2:35
Speaker 2: and being in the environment.
2:36
Speaker 1: And then you can deal with all that stuff after.
2:38
Speaker 2: Literally, Yeah, it's like my antide present growing up was yeah,
2:41
Speaker 2: so incredible interesting.
2:42
Speaker 3: Hey, I can relate to that ties the dance when
2:43
Speaker 3: I was younger as well, and it is it's like
2:45
Speaker 3: even now as an adult, coming back to it after
2:47
Speaker 3: such a long time, like even heels classes. Yes, it's
2:50
Speaker 3: the only thing that you can focus on. You're so
2:52
Speaker 3: lovely present at the moment. Yeah, you literally have no
2:55
Speaker 3: time and capacity to focus on anything else.
2:57
Speaker 5: And it's just like it's a good escape that you
3:00
Speaker 5: just feel so invested in it and then yeah, you
3:03
Speaker 5: go back to reality obviously, But it's also it's a
3:06
Speaker 5: healing thing for me because it.
3:08
Speaker 2: Does so dance is so beautiful in so many ways,
3:10
Speaker 2: But as I said, there is a darker side, And
3:12
Speaker 2: I remember as a teenager, I definitely did not have
3:14
Speaker 2: a healthy relationship with my body. There was a lot
3:16
Speaker 2: of pressure, Like I remember one of my dance teachers.
3:19
Speaker 2: She put a rule in place at the dance school
3:21
Speaker 2: that I was at that everyone had to do ballet,
3:23
Speaker 2: and I remember her saying that to.
3:24
Speaker 1: Me a very big thing.
3:25
Speaker 2: It's huge, and I was up on points shoes within
3:27
Speaker 2: six months. I was very good at it. But I
3:29
Speaker 2: remember her saying to me, just so you know, you'll
3:31
Speaker 2: never make it as a dance because your hips.
3:33
Speaker 4: Are too big.
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Speaker 2: I was, Oh, my goodness, and just looking back on
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Speaker 2: my thirteen year old self, was like, ah, right, that
3:40
Speaker 2: would have been really hard to process because I already felt.
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Speaker 4: Like I was one of the bigger girls. I wasn't
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Speaker 4: like tiny shoulders.
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Speaker 2: And yeah, there's obviously other things gone in my life,
3:50
Speaker 2: but I remember there was a big period where I
3:52
Speaker 2: was blieming and throwing all my food up, and dance
3:55
Speaker 2: was still on a skate. But I know this also
3:56
Speaker 2: had an impact on you. And now you teach younger
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Speaker 2: women also about food and how to deal with the
4:01
Speaker 2: pressure of being a certain size in the dance and
4:04
Speaker 2: rog talk about your journey with eating.
4:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely.
4:07
Speaker 5: So when I was thirteen, I remember this was probably
4:13
Speaker 5: the time where I started taking dance a little bit
4:15
Speaker 5: more not serious, but it's like it came to a point.
4:18
Speaker 5: I was also a netball player, so Mum was kind
4:20
Speaker 5: of like, you can't do it all unique because netballs
4:23
Speaker 5: on the weekend. Dance competitions are on the weekend, so
4:26
Speaker 5: Mum was kind of like, you.
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Speaker 1: Need to pick one.
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Speaker 5: So I picked dancing and kind of stuck to that.
4:30
Speaker 5: And then I was like, kind of could see where
4:33
Speaker 5: dancing can take you in places, so I took it
4:35
Speaker 5: a little bit more serious. You're in every age group,
4:38
Speaker 5: you're doing dance comps. And then I remember I wasn't
4:41
Speaker 5: the best dancer as well when I was no when
4:44
Speaker 5: I was younger, I wasn't naturally flexible. I didn't have
4:48
Speaker 5: the look. I wasn't a big girl or anything. I
4:50
Speaker 5: just again like what you were saying, a little bit bigger,
4:53
Speaker 5: had a little bit more like bigger shoulders and stuff
4:56
Speaker 5: like that. You had a different body type obviously compared
4:59
Speaker 5: to hootypical dancing what people. And I was always in
5:03
Speaker 5: the cool group, but I wasn't the best dancer. So
5:07
Speaker 5: I was always just around the best dances and we're
5:10
Speaker 5: all friends.
5:11
Speaker 1: And then I remember there's this one moment that kind.
5:14
Speaker 5: Of like triggered it was, well, I was with my
5:18
Speaker 5: friend and we're at Max Brenner just having like a
5:22
Speaker 5: fonder for two just what you do with thirteen year
5:24
Speaker 5: old And I think this is I was actually thinking
5:27
Speaker 5: about this the other day and I was like, what
5:29
Speaker 5: triggered it? And I think this hit the spot. This
5:33
Speaker 5: was when Instagram first started and she posted a photo
5:38
Speaker 5: and another girl at the studio commented Kaira douly fatty
5:42
Speaker 5: and not the other girl just tagged me and wrote that,
5:48
Speaker 5: and it was just a photo of us sitting with
5:50
Speaker 5: our fond And now hearing this, I'm like getting choked
5:53
Speaker 5: up because I'm like, I could never or imagine if
5:57
Speaker 5: that happened to my daughter, and like I remember this happening.
6:01
Speaker 5: And then the post got taken down and stuff like that, but.
6:05
Speaker 1: Pack was made the impact and that was the thing.
6:07
Speaker 5: I think she apologized at the point because my mum
6:10
Speaker 5: obviously said something. But I think that was just like
6:13
Speaker 5: a oh, how come that just came.
6:16
Speaker 1: To me but not the other girl.
6:19
Speaker 5: Now I wouldn't even think about something like like, I'm
6:22
Speaker 5: so past that point of my life. But and I
6:25
Speaker 5: think because she was in the dance group, she was
6:28
Speaker 5: one of the favorites and she yourself. Yeah, and being thirteen,
6:34
Speaker 5: obviously your hormones are starting to change. You're going through
6:37
Speaker 5: your periods, and like I didn't have my period at
6:40
Speaker 5: the time, so and then the next week, I remember,
6:43
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, I just won't eat chocolate for
6:45
Speaker 5: a week, and then then it went it escalated to oh,
6:50
Speaker 5: I won't have junk food for a like you know
6:53
Speaker 5: how it just keeps me once and then I just
6:56
Speaker 5: I think that's what it triggered, and it started, and
6:59
Speaker 5: then the ball rolled and I was the most dedicated
7:04
Speaker 5: dance when I was younger. So I remember when I
7:06
Speaker 5: was I was dancing every afternoon for like four to
7:10
Speaker 5: five hours. I did every class possible just because I
7:13
Speaker 5: knew where I wanted to be and I wanted to
7:15
Speaker 5: be the best. So obviously when you're young, you're dancing
7:19
Speaker 5: every single day. And then also I was going through
7:22
Speaker 5: like a gross burd So I think within like four weeks,
7:26
Speaker 5: I just not eating and losing all that weight and
7:30
Speaker 5: also growing taller into my body, becoming more of a woman.
7:34
Speaker 5: I was like, it happened kind of really quickly for me,
7:38
Speaker 5: And this is the thing now that also is very
7:41
Speaker 5: like scary when people start saying.
7:43
Speaker 1: To you you look really good. But as a young teenager,
7:47
Speaker 1: I was like.
7:48
Speaker 4: Good to hear that.
7:48
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, I'm looking amazing. Everyone's saying I'm
7:52
Speaker 5: looking good. And my dancing was getting better, and I
7:55
Speaker 5: was improving because obviously like when you're getting more into
7:59
Speaker 5: your body and stuff like that.
8:00
Speaker 1: And then I was getting more confident.
8:01
Speaker 5: So I was standing at the front of class and
8:04
Speaker 5: I was having those little moments of like, I'm getting
8:07
Speaker 5: better and teachers are recognizing me now.
8:10
Speaker 4: In your habits.
8:11
Speaker 5: Yeah, So I was like, well, I'm just going to
8:13
Speaker 5: keep doing what I was doing, so then you start
8:15
Speaker 5: obviously working.
8:16
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I was.
8:18
Speaker 5: Having one time, I was like, my breakfast was one
8:21
Speaker 5: weet beak and then at fourteen, and then i was
8:24
Speaker 5: going to school and I had a piece of fruit,
8:26
Speaker 5: and then afternoon I'd have like a nutbar and then
8:29
Speaker 5: dinner and then I'm like, now I'm thinking.
8:30
Speaker 1: I was like, what in the world was that.
8:33
Speaker 5: Yeah, I was like that is just crazy to me.
8:36
Speaker 5: And then I remember I was dancing and then one
8:40
Speaker 5: girl also came up to me.
8:42
Speaker 1: She's just like, I can.
8:43
Speaker 5: See your ribs when you're dancing, and I was like
8:46
Speaker 5: fourteen at this point, and I was like it started
8:48
Speaker 5: clicking to me that I was like, whoa, Like I'm
8:52
Speaker 5: getting really tiny, But to me, I was just like
8:56
Speaker 5: dancing was everything. So I just I took that into like,
8:59
Speaker 5: well I'm getting better.
9:00
Speaker 4: I was don't care about anything.
9:02
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, And I was.
9:03
Speaker 5: Just like I think that one made to me back
9:06
Speaker 5: then to now, I was like it's just so crazy
9:09
Speaker 5: to yeah really.
9:11
Speaker 1: But again it shaped me to who I am today.
9:13
Speaker 5: Yeah, of course, so I not that I wish that
9:17
Speaker 5: was never said, but then I'm happy with my journey
9:21
Speaker 5: dealing with it because now I can help younger girls,
9:24
Speaker 5: which you are doing hopefully I am doing, but also
9:28
Speaker 5: talk about my story and it brings light onto the
9:31
Speaker 5: topic because I don't want to ever want to feel
9:33
Speaker 5: like to me, it kind of helped me to who
9:35
Speaker 5: I am today, and I'm glad I had that experience
9:39
Speaker 5: because it taught me a lot about food as well,
9:42
Speaker 5: and what you need to obviously go through and like
9:47
Speaker 5: the food that you need to fuel your body with.
9:51
Speaker 5: With everyone grow even now like me dancing and having
9:55
Speaker 5: my schedule I do, I still need to feel my
9:57
Speaker 5: body as much as I can to be able to
9:59
Speaker 5: still dance at twenty five and be able to nourish
10:02
Speaker 5: and like look after it. So I'm glad that I
10:06
Speaker 5: I had that experience, but obviously not in the way
10:08
Speaker 5: that it happened, of course, I feel like at that
10:10
Speaker 5: age as well, it was so impressionable, you know, such
10:13
Speaker 5: a like what you were saying about the hormones and
10:15
Speaker 5: you're coming into a period.
10:16
Speaker 4: It's like you're not confident with who you are.
10:18
Speaker 5: Well, then I lost and then I didn't obviously get
10:19
Speaker 5: my period until I was like sixteen seventeen, because I
10:23
Speaker 5: was I lost it, so I didn't even my body
10:26
Speaker 5: just suck to a thirteen year old body.
10:29
Speaker 1: I was so young.
10:30
Speaker 4: I was the same to get mine tool seventeen.
10:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, did your dance teachers or your mom obviously pick
10:35
Speaker 2: up on anything or did they say anything, because I
10:36
Speaker 2: remember Nick picked up me throwing my food up, put
10:38
Speaker 2: me up aside dance class one day and was like
10:40
Speaker 2: let's talk.
10:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, Nick really was fronted, really really good with it.
10:45
Speaker 1: You have the same dance teacher.
10:47
Speaker 4: It was seen it many times before. She's like is
10:49
Speaker 4: going yeah.
10:50
Speaker 5: So it was so crazy because now thinking back, like
10:53
Speaker 5: remember the little Ntella packets like the little to Go one.
10:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was scared to eat one of those.
10:58
Speaker 2: Like.
10:58
Speaker 5: It got to a point and then I wasn't going
11:01
Speaker 5: to school, like I just didn't want to be around people.
11:05
Speaker 5: Moved schools as well, and Mum, I remember I was
11:09
Speaker 5: my clothes got to like a size four at like yeah,
11:12
Speaker 5: it's like size four but like still falling off me
11:16
Speaker 5: and stuff like that, like and then I started going
11:18
Speaker 5: back into kid sizes. And then I remember one night
11:22
Speaker 5: Mum pulled me aside in my room and she was like,
11:25
Speaker 5: what's going on. It came to a point where she
11:27
Speaker 5: was like I thought, not that, like she knew that obviously.
11:30
Speaker 5: I was growing into my body what people do, and
11:33
Speaker 5: like you get taller, and I like, I understand that,
11:36
Speaker 5: but she was like.
11:37
Speaker 1: It's gone way too far now.
11:40
Speaker 5: And then I remember she had a meeting with Nick
11:42
Speaker 5: and stuff like that, and I really wanted to do
11:44
Speaker 5: part time, which was a program that you dance every
11:48
Speaker 5: Friday and you don't have to go to school, but
11:50
Speaker 5: they wouldn't allow me because Nick was And it wasn't
11:53
Speaker 5: out of anything bad, but she was like health rived,
11:56
Speaker 5: I'm not and I actually had to stop dancing over
12:02
Speaker 5: so it was during the Christmas period to the new year.
12:05
Speaker 5: But then I remember coming back, I wasn't allowed to
12:07
Speaker 5: dance I think for like three to four months until
12:11
Speaker 5: because each week I obviously had check ins with my
12:14
Speaker 5: doctors and stuff like that, so that I was putting
12:16
Speaker 5: on the way when I was on my health journey
12:18
Speaker 5: back getting back to what I was. But yeah, I
12:21
Speaker 5: remember just I came into class and I just had
12:23
Speaker 5: to sit.
12:24
Speaker 1: Down and watch them dance so hard.
12:26
Speaker 3: How was that for you going through that over the
12:28
Speaker 3: three that was my motivation?
12:30
Speaker 5: Yeah, So to me, Nick and my mom had a
12:33
Speaker 5: meeting and they both sat me down and was like,
12:37
Speaker 5: we need to get you better, like we you cannot
12:40
Speaker 5: be dating or not eating. And then that again was
12:45
Speaker 5: another switch of like and I knew I was starting
12:48
Speaker 5: to get good and I knew that dancing was going
12:51
Speaker 5: to be a big.
12:51
Speaker 1: Part of my life. So I just had that moment
12:54
Speaker 1: of like, I need to get my shit, I need
12:58
Speaker 1: it get I need to.
12:59
Speaker 5: Start eating and just and obviously you still have those
13:03
Speaker 5: hard times of like, and I had heaps of fights
13:06
Speaker 5: with my mom. It was just like I remember she
13:09
Speaker 5: used to go to work and I used to scream
13:11
Speaker 5: to her like I'm not eating this today.
13:13
Speaker 1: I would run out.
13:13
Speaker 5: She used to send my sister over to my house
13:16
Speaker 5: to come and then I would run out because I
13:18
Speaker 5: was like I don't want anyone else but you, and
13:20
Speaker 5: like many and.
13:21
Speaker 1: Many fights and stuff like that.
13:23
Speaker 5: But Nicole, thank god, because yeah, she stopped me dancing
13:26
Speaker 5: and I just had to go in there and everyone
13:29
Speaker 5: obviously knew what I was going through, the girls, and
13:31
Speaker 5: they were very supportive, and it was good to see
13:34
Speaker 5: them in a different light. Now it's just seeing like
13:37
Speaker 5: what like some words can say, can actually really dictate, yeah, impact,
13:42
Speaker 5: And it was so hard because being in high school
13:44
Speaker 5: as well, I was on set schedules for eating, so I.
13:48
Speaker 1: Used to have to walk to like out of the
13:49
Speaker 1: classroom like ten o'clock. It was like eat your little snack,
13:53
Speaker 1: go back in.
13:54
Speaker 5: But that to me was motivation because I was like,
13:56
Speaker 5: I don't want to be that girl, Like I didn't
13:59
Speaker 5: want to be that person that's like people were watching,
14:02
Speaker 5: and like had to And then obviously it was so
14:05
Speaker 5: hard because at dance class, I felt they're all getting better,
14:10
Speaker 5: They're all dancing every day, getting to be in these routines,
14:14
Speaker 5: learning the solos. As I was sitting down, not getting worse,
14:18
Speaker 5: but like I'm.
14:19
Speaker 1: Not getting anywhere. So that to me was like I need.
14:22
Speaker 5: To get better like this if this is what I
14:24
Speaker 5: want to do with my career when I get older,
14:27
Speaker 5: I need to eat.
14:28
Speaker 1: I need to start fueling my body.
14:30
Speaker 5: So to me, that was a motivation of like you, yeah,
14:34
Speaker 5: I need Like this isn't something I want to be
14:37
Speaker 5: And also I was at the point of hospitalization. They
14:40
Speaker 5: were like, if you lose one hundred grams, like you're
14:44
Speaker 5: going to be in So my mum sat me down
14:46
Speaker 5: and was like, you will be force fed, and I
14:51
Speaker 5: don't believe that's getting you better because you don't want
14:53
Speaker 5: to eat.
14:54
Speaker 1: You're getting forced like with the tube and stuff, and
14:57
Speaker 1: it's resisting it anyway. And she was like, she was like.
14:59
Speaker 5: You're not actually eating the food, so you know. And
15:01
Speaker 5: she was like, you're in hospital at fourteen.
15:03
Speaker 1: I won't be with you, your.
15:05
Speaker 5: Family won't be with you. You're going to be by yourself.
15:07
Speaker 5: She was like, like, my mum was very real with me.
15:10
Speaker 5: She wasn't like beating me around the bush or anything.
15:13
Speaker 5: So she was like, here's your options. This is what
15:16
Speaker 5: if you want to dance again, this is what you
15:19
Speaker 5: need to do, which saved me, which was like a
15:22
Speaker 5: little like realization of like, oh shit, I need to
15:26
Speaker 5: fix this, Like what you needed.
15:28
Speaker 1: I needed to hear it. I needed to hear that.
15:30
Speaker 5: And I think as well. Dance was just my whole
15:33
Speaker 5: life growing up. I was that competition kid. I did
15:36
Speaker 5: every single solo. I wasn't like that typical teenager like
15:41
Speaker 5: at fourteen went to the parties and stuff, Like my
15:44
Speaker 5: life was dancing, So I didn't care about that.
15:46
Speaker 1: So I was like, I need to get better.
15:50
Speaker 2: And so that was age thirteen, and then fourteen you
15:52
Speaker 2: started to get better. Yeah, and then I know, which
15:55
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry for you. You lost your dad at sixteen,
15:57
Speaker 2: So do you want to walk us through that process
15:59
Speaker 2: of getting better? Yeah, that happening and then that kind
16:02
Speaker 2: of impacting impacting it again.
16:04
Speaker 5: Yeah, So got better and it was great because I
16:08
Speaker 5: had Megan who owns Healed, helped me through the program
16:12
Speaker 5: seeing her and stuff. So I'm an ambassador for Healed now.
16:16
Speaker 5: So it helps young girls with mental illness and eating disorders.
16:21
Speaker 5: So I had like kinesiology with Megan like weekly, and
16:25
Speaker 5: she kind of just like examined your body and dives
16:29
Speaker 5: deep into and I think that's as well. When I
16:32
Speaker 5: remember seeing Megan, she delve deep and it kind of
16:35
Speaker 5: went back to that point of like what triggered it
16:38
Speaker 5: and those words, and then I was like, oh, that's
16:41
Speaker 5: actually what triggered it. So it's a program now to
16:44
Speaker 5: help younger girls with going through these times and stuff
16:48
Speaker 5: like that.
16:48
Speaker 1: So I've come on as an ambassador to help it.
16:51
Speaker 4: That's really good. So she had her help you through.
16:54
Speaker 5: That, through that, through those times. And then at sixteen,
16:58
Speaker 5: I remember mom and I were at boxing day and
17:02
Speaker 5: my dad, he was a landscaper, so in the sun
17:05
Speaker 5: all day and we could see him kind of get
17:09
Speaker 5: smaller and skinnier, but he was losing weight and stuff
17:12
Speaker 5: like that. But we just thought, like, it's getting to summer,
17:16
Speaker 5: and boys their weight always goes up and down, and
17:19
Speaker 5: we just thought he was working harder later hours. And
17:23
Speaker 5: my dad was the kind of person that didn't usually
17:25
Speaker 5: just like he won't just go to the doctors if
17:27
Speaker 5: he's feeling sick.
17:27
Speaker 1: He's kind of like, you know, he's like, right, fine,
17:30
Speaker 1: I'm fine, And it was such such a dad thing.
17:32
Speaker 1: He was just like, I'm fine, don't worry about me.
17:35
Speaker 1: And then I remember it.
17:36
Speaker 5: Was like my last dance concert that he watched and
17:39
Speaker 5: he just could tell he didn't want to be there.
17:42
Speaker 1: It was the end.
17:42
Speaker 5: He was like, let's go home quickly and stuff like that,
17:45
Speaker 5: and we were like, this is not him. And then
17:47
Speaker 5: on Christmas Day he was sleeping the whole day and
17:52
Speaker 5: like it got to a point where we were like, okay,
17:54
Speaker 5: Mum was like you need to go see a doctor.
17:56
Speaker 1: This isn't right.
17:57
Speaker 5: And then we were at Rubina Town Center on Boxing
18:00
Speaker 5: Day and then driving home, my dad took himself to
18:03
Speaker 5: the hospital and then yeah, got the call and he
18:06
Speaker 5: was just said you need to come home now. We
18:08
Speaker 5: just have got cancer and within six months.
18:12
Speaker 1: Died passed away. Yeah.
18:14
Speaker 5: So it was a big, big shift for our family,
18:18
Speaker 5: which is crazy because at sixteen, you just it's what happens.
18:22
Speaker 1: Now.
18:22
Speaker 5: You hear stories of people and you're like freak accidents
18:26
Speaker 5: and stuff like that.
18:27
Speaker 1: But to have that moment of.
18:29
Speaker 5: Like, this is actually happening to me, Like you hear people,
18:33
Speaker 5: you hear people have like cancer and stuff, and you
18:35
Speaker 5: don't think it's going to ever happen to you and
18:37
Speaker 5: your family. But remember him calling mum, and I remember
18:42
Speaker 5: Mum and I probably have a bit of guilt now
18:44
Speaker 5: because we were shopping. We just you don't think of
18:46
Speaker 5: any and it's it's not like you have those moments
18:49
Speaker 5: of like we're in the wrong, but it's just like
18:52
Speaker 5: we were out shopping. Didn't think it was going to
18:55
Speaker 5: be cancer or anything. But we just thought maybe something
18:58
Speaker 5: little or injured himself or something.
19:00
Speaker 1: But and then my.
19:01
Speaker 5: Brother's called us as well and was like you need
19:03
Speaker 5: to come home now, like it's bad. And then within
19:07
Speaker 5: six months, yeah, passing. But throughout that time he was
19:11
Speaker 5: up in the Brisbane hospital. Chemo just I think we
19:16
Speaker 5: caught it too late and it was just in the lungs.
19:20
Speaker 1: It just it got too far.
19:21
Speaker 5: And then we tried everything. It was chemo, the natural
19:25
Speaker 5: way and stuff. But at sixteen, I just I didn't Again,
19:31
Speaker 5: it was just did not know within six months he
19:34
Speaker 5: was going to pass. And I think now looking back
19:38
Speaker 5: at it, I just not that I forgot that time
19:41
Speaker 5: in my life, but I think I tried to.
19:43
Speaker 1: Shut it out because so painful.
19:46
Speaker 5: I remember, like because my sister also taught at my
19:48
Speaker 5: high school that I was at, and she I remember
19:50
Speaker 5: days that she just wouldn't come to school and I
19:52
Speaker 5: called MoMA was like, why am.
19:53
Speaker 1: I at school? Why am I at school?
19:55
Speaker 5: And she's not, and just she was like, just come
19:57
Speaker 5: home then, And because my dad was in Brisbane those
20:01
Speaker 5: last six months, we weren't even really with him because
20:03
Speaker 5: he was in and out of hospital. Me being sixteen,
20:06
Speaker 5: I was like, he'll be okay, likes thinking, not not
20:10
Speaker 5: fully understanding it. So I was also going through like
20:14
Speaker 5: I was a dance class. I went to everything that
20:17
Speaker 5: I could. I did the competitions. Everyone kind of helped
20:20
Speaker 5: me because Mum was looking after my dad and I
20:23
Speaker 5: just I kind of blocked it out and really seeing
20:27
Speaker 5: him deteriorate because it got to a point where we
20:30
Speaker 5: had the doctors that act because he didn't want to
20:32
Speaker 5: pass at a hospital.
20:34
Speaker 1: He wanted to in our family home and stuff.
20:36
Speaker 5: So we had the doctors come over every day and
20:40
Speaker 5: just we had all the machines. And it's hard to
20:42
Speaker 5: think now because I'm like, I don't remember that time
20:46
Speaker 5: clearly because I think I just I tried to block
20:49
Speaker 5: it out as much as possible because I don't want
20:51
Speaker 5: to remember seeing him like that. And that was the
20:55
Speaker 5: hard part because Mum was changing him and had to
20:58
Speaker 5: take him to the toilet and really take care of him.
21:01
Speaker 5: And I'm just like, I don't want to remember him
21:04
Speaker 5: like that because he wasn't that father to me.
21:06
Speaker 1: He was like a very active.
21:09
Speaker 5: Hands on dad and stuff like that. So and then
21:13
Speaker 5: obviously throughout that time, Mum was so invested in Dad.
21:19
Speaker 5: That's when And it's not that I didn't want to eat,
21:21
Speaker 5: but I think those old habits came into topic because
21:25
Speaker 5: I was so like, my dad's sick, I don't want
21:28
Speaker 5: to eat, like I'm not hungry, and I came to
21:30
Speaker 5: a point where I wasn't hungry, and then stress came involved.
21:33
Speaker 5: Obviously I was just thinking about him. I was dancing,
21:38
Speaker 5: not thinking that he would pass. I was still trying
21:40
Speaker 5: to keep up with everyone else. And then I remember
21:43
Speaker 5: my sister coming to me and she was like, are
21:46
Speaker 5: you okay? Like Mom can't deal and then remember Mom,
21:49
Speaker 5: she was like, I can't.
21:50
Speaker 1: Deal with you as not me, not me, but she
21:53
Speaker 1: was like, I'm dealing with your dad.
21:55
Speaker 5: I can't deal with you going through your eating disorder again.
21:59
Speaker 5: And then I actually didn't think I was going through
22:02
Speaker 5: I just thought I was not like and I was like,
22:06
Speaker 5: I'm not physically trying to do this to myself.
22:08
Speaker 1: I just just had a relapse.
22:11
Speaker 5: And then I remember one of my friends came with
22:13
Speaker 5: me and saw my dad in hospital. And then we
22:16
Speaker 5: were up at Brisbane doing a dance comp and I
22:18
Speaker 5: remember she came up to me and we were getting
22:21
Speaker 5: ready and my costume was so big on me and
22:24
Speaker 5: everyone could just tell what I was going through again,
22:28
Speaker 5: and she came up to me. She was like, this
22:30
Speaker 5: isn't right. She was like, we need to get you better.
22:32
Speaker 5: You're looking thin again. And then it was so good
22:36
Speaker 5: because throughout that whole time I had Nicole really helped me.
22:39
Speaker 1: I had some nights.
22:40
Speaker 5: Where if I just couldn't not couldn't be at home,
22:43
Speaker 5: but couldn't deal with it, I would say at her house.
22:45
Speaker 5: She would always let me stay at her house whenever
22:47
Speaker 5: I needed to because her dad also passed as well,
22:50
Speaker 5: so she was very hands on with me and my
22:54
Speaker 5: dad and every and everyone at the studio was just
22:58
Speaker 5: so good with it. But again, yeah, it was so
23:01
Speaker 5: crazy that how the littlest things can also just trigger
23:05
Speaker 5: up something a big thing, but just how just something
23:11
Speaker 5: can just like I was not even trying to not
23:15
Speaker 5: eat or anything, it just that was obviously a trigger
23:18
Speaker 5: and just having those emotions come up.
23:21
Speaker 4: Just yeah, just one of my girlfriends has been through Anna.
23:24
Speaker 4: Actually I remember now she's out of it.
23:26
Speaker 2: She looks back on the time in her life and
23:28
Speaker 2: she said she didn't know she was doing it, but
23:30
Speaker 2: because everything else in her life felt out of control,
23:33
Speaker 2: including what had happened to her when she was younger,
23:35
Speaker 2: when she believe started her eating disorder, that food and
23:38
Speaker 2: her body was the one thing that she felt like
23:39
Speaker 2: she could control.
23:40
Speaker 4: So she felt good off that.
23:42
Speaker 2: She goes like, I didn't no matter what anyone else said,
23:44
Speaker 2: that was the one thing in my life I could
23:45
Speaker 2: control and no one was going to take that away
23:47
Speaker 2: from me, because so much has been taken away from me.
23:49
Speaker 2: Did you ever have moments of consciously thinking that or
23:51
Speaker 2: feeling that?
23:52
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think as well, now I can really kind
23:57
Speaker 5: of control my emotions and stuff like that as well,
24:01
Speaker 5: Like I know what I can control and like what
24:03
Speaker 5: you were saying. But when I was younger, I feel
24:06
Speaker 5: like I didn't have anything like that.
24:08
Speaker 1: I was trying to be.
24:10
Speaker 5: The best person and as well, I'm a big people
24:12
Speaker 5: pleaser and.
24:13
Speaker 1: Stuff like that.
24:14
Speaker 5: So when Mum said that to me, I was like,
24:16
Speaker 5: but I'm not meeting, and I felt like my hands
24:20
Speaker 5: and even now I still feel the same, like I
24:22
Speaker 5: try to do everything for everyone, but I really feel
24:25
Speaker 5: like the things Obviously when I was younger, I couldn't control.
24:28
Speaker 5: I just they just were out of my hands and
24:31
Speaker 5: stuff like that.
24:32
Speaker 1: So you didn't understand I didn't understand it properly.
24:35
Speaker 3: Yeah.
24:35
Speaker 1: Yeah.
24:36
Speaker 2: And so you got through when all that was happening
24:38
Speaker 2: with your dad and you relapsed. What happened after that?
24:41
Speaker 2: Did it because you'd already been through? Did you find
24:44
Speaker 2: you could pick yourself up quicker? Or was it quite
24:46
Speaker 2: a long process to where you are now?
24:49
Speaker 1: I think a bit of both, to be honest.
24:51
Speaker 5: Because the thing is, the night before my dad passed,
24:55
Speaker 5: we were all going we went into the hospital and
24:58
Speaker 5: because again I was off to America, which was another
25:01
Speaker 5: really big thing, because I didn't go to my dad's funeral.
25:04
Speaker 1: I was in America.
25:06
Speaker 5: But the reason why I was well at the point
25:09
Speaker 5: where it was a trip for Danceforce, and they were
25:11
Speaker 5: like that everyone knew I was either going to go
25:14
Speaker 5: or I wasn't.
25:15
Speaker 1: It wasn't a setting stone.
25:16
Speaker 5: We didn't know with my dad how long he had left,
25:19
Speaker 5: we didn't know, and we were in America for like
25:21
Speaker 5: three weeks that time.
25:22
Speaker 1: It was, and it was my first America trip. I
25:25
Speaker 1: was sixteen. I was so excited. I remember, that's all
25:27
Speaker 1: we ever wanted.
25:28
Speaker 5: And we actually won the trip that year, so our
25:31
Speaker 5: group we won a competition and we all want to
25:33
Speaker 5: go over, so it.
25:34
Speaker 1: Was a big thing for us as well.
25:37
Speaker 5: And I remember the night before I think we all
25:40
Speaker 5: knew this was the time, because I was leaving for
25:43
Speaker 5: America the week after. Yeah, and I remember he whispered
25:46
Speaker 5: in my ear. He was like, you go on that trip,
25:49
Speaker 5: like you go to America and to my mum and
25:52
Speaker 5: stuff like that. Because it's hard because I didn't go
25:54
Speaker 5: to the funeral. I didn't have those times. I don't
25:58
Speaker 5: sometimes I don't feel like I had that closure with
26:00
Speaker 5: him that some of my other family members might have.
26:04
Speaker 5: And I feel like my dad, I'm the youngest in
26:06
Speaker 5: my family, so I'm when you're the baby, you're always
26:10
Speaker 5: you treat it as the baby of the family. I
26:12
Speaker 5: always feel that, even with my brothers and stuff that now.
26:15
Speaker 5: But my dad's he used to call me his little mini,
26:18
Speaker 5: so I used to go everywhere with him. I used
26:20
Speaker 5: to go to work with him, on the weekends, used
26:22
Speaker 5: to mow the lawns for like five.
26:24
Speaker 1: Dollars and stuffing like that, like had the little things.
26:26
Speaker 1: But he said to me, he was like, you need
26:29
Speaker 1: to go on that trip.
26:30
Speaker 5: And there was and I my mom, everyone knew I
26:34
Speaker 5: needed to go for myself, which I'm so happy I did,
26:37
Speaker 5: but and I had I wrote a little speech and
26:40
Speaker 5: got someone to speak it for it funeral and stuff.
26:43
Speaker 5: So Nicole helped me write a little speech in America
26:47
Speaker 5: which I have on my phone in my notes now
26:49
Speaker 5: still like twenty sixteen, that note and I still have
26:55
Speaker 5: the memories of just everything now. And yeah, he said
26:58
Speaker 5: that to me, and I think as well. I had
27:02
Speaker 5: Nicole and Mom really in my corner saying like, you
27:06
Speaker 5: can't go down that road again, like you need and
27:10
Speaker 5: everyone was very much supporting me. And I knew I'm
27:15
Speaker 5: physically and I mentally couldn't put Mom through that again
27:18
Speaker 5: because my mom was everything that she's everything to me now,
27:22
Speaker 5: so I knew she couldn't deal with another thing, and
27:25
Speaker 5: I know mentally now that I mentally couldn't. It was
27:29
Speaker 5: a long road because I was obviously going through my
27:33
Speaker 5: dad's grief. But I think as well dancing helped because
27:38
Speaker 5: that's when I started getting really good. I think my
27:42
Speaker 5: dad's passing, I put everything into dancing like for him,
27:48
Speaker 5: and even now I have dances that you've seen and
27:51
Speaker 5: stuff like that that I have dedicated specially for my
27:53
Speaker 5: dad that I even do now, and it was so special.
27:57
Speaker 5: At Dance Forces twenty year concert they had me for
28:01
Speaker 5: my full time graduation.
28:02
Speaker 1: I had a routine that I did a soul dedicated.
28:05
Speaker 5: For my father, beautiful, and then they had me redo
28:08
Speaker 5: that again for the twenty year concept and they actually
28:11
Speaker 5: had the video of me doing it for my dad
28:14
Speaker 5: at the graduation behind me, so they had snippets of
28:17
Speaker 5: me doing it now but then.
28:19
Speaker 1: Versus back then.
28:20
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I honestly think dance save me the.
28:25
Speaker 1: Way that I was wanting to have a career in it.
28:28
Speaker 5: Dancing really saved me of like I really want to
28:33
Speaker 5: do this. So it's so beautiful, I think, and even now,
28:35
Speaker 5: like it's so hard because I remember when I was younger,
28:37
Speaker 5: people used to say, just go eat a burger, and
28:41
Speaker 5: my brothers used to say that as well, but not
28:43
Speaker 5: as a bad thing.
28:44
Speaker 1: But they just don't understand.
28:46
Speaker 4: That it's not easy. I would go eat the dance.
28:49
Speaker 1: It's honestly a mental illness. Yeah.
28:51
Speaker 5: So, and even now, like you're never gonna fully get better,
28:55
Speaker 5: there's always time to especially in our industry as well.
28:59
Speaker 1: Being on social media.
29:00
Speaker 5: Being a model, being a dancer, being on camera. I'm
29:04
Speaker 5: looking at myself in a mirror twenty four to seven,
29:06
Speaker 5: and I'm always like, oh, you.
29:08
Speaker 1: Always nitpicking around other models.
29:11
Speaker 5: I know how to switch it of, like that's my
29:15
Speaker 5: mind talking and now to like, oh no, that's my
29:18
Speaker 5: mind talking, my comparing me to other people, to myself
29:22
Speaker 5: being like no, that's that's not right. Yeah, Like I
29:25
Speaker 5: know how to I know now what's right and what's wrong.
29:28
Speaker 4: Ad internal dialogue.
29:29
Speaker 1: I know how to switch it up.
29:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like the discernment of like all this feels like
29:33
Speaker 3: the old past version of me, and this feels like,
29:35
Speaker 3: oh no, I actually need to pay attention here.
29:37
Speaker 4: Yes, And what do you find now?
29:39
Speaker 2: Because you're obviously helping younger women and you do you
29:42
Speaker 2: teach a lot of dance classes. Do you see parts
29:44
Speaker 2: of yourself in young girls? And do you pull them
29:47
Speaker 2: up and have conversations? Do you talk to their moms?
29:49
Speaker 2: How do you approach helping young women not go down
29:51
Speaker 2: that path that you went down.
29:53
Speaker 5: I really want to start approach when Megan and I
29:56
Speaker 5: were trying to start a program, I would love to
29:58
Speaker 5: go into dance schools and kind of have like a
30:00
Speaker 5: set hour and basically tell my story, but also talk
30:05
Speaker 5: to them and say like, it's okay to be feeling
30:08
Speaker 5: like this. I never want people to feel like they
30:10
Speaker 5: can't because everyone has those feelings. Everyone's going to.
30:13
Speaker 1: Feel it and stuff like that.
30:14
Speaker 5: But I do see it a lot in dance schools
30:17
Speaker 5: and stuff like that, and girls comparing themselves to each other,
30:20
Speaker 5: or she's better, but maybe because she's better, she looks
30:24
Speaker 5: a certain way or is a certain body type, so
30:27
Speaker 5: maybe that's why she's better. But it's like, no, that's
30:30
Speaker 5: not that at all. And I have had a few
30:33
Speaker 5: people come up to me, and I've gone up to
30:35
Speaker 5: a few girls as well and not actually said to
30:37
Speaker 5: him like what's.
30:39
Speaker 1: Wrong with you? But I'm like, is everything okay?
30:41
Speaker 5: Yeah?
30:41
Speaker 1: Like, and I think that's all it needs to be.
30:43
Speaker 4: Is that open up the conversation.
30:45
Speaker 1: The conversation.
30:47
Speaker 5: I have had a few mother's message me privately because
30:49
Speaker 5: they have heard my story, and even a few younger
30:53
Speaker 5: girls dm me and just be like I've heard your story.
30:55
Speaker 1: I'm going through this now.
30:57
Speaker 5: Is there anything you can recommend or me go see
31:01
Speaker 5: someone and stuff like that, or even sometimes I say, hey,
31:05
Speaker 5: do you just do you want to go have a
31:06
Speaker 5: coffee or do you want to go for a walk
31:09
Speaker 5: and we can chat about it because right now, like
31:12
Speaker 5: I would love to have my own program and go
31:15
Speaker 5: into schools and like dance schools and talk to young
31:18
Speaker 5: women and have that open conversation of like, because even now,
31:23
Speaker 5: I can see when some girls are getting really well,
31:25
Speaker 5: there's a big event or something coming up when they're younger,
31:29
Speaker 5: and all of a sudden, they've dropped so much weight
31:32
Speaker 5: and they're just looking a certain way. I saw her
31:34
Speaker 5: two years ago with one girl. I knew she had
31:37
Speaker 5: something coming up and all of a sudden, and I
31:39
Speaker 5: was talking to Nicole, and I was like, I think
31:42
Speaker 5: this is really affecting her, and she's really great now.
31:45
Speaker 1: I think it was just a little moment in her life.
31:48
Speaker 1: But I was like, it's so crazy to me how.
31:51
Speaker 5: Something so like an event or something like that can
31:54
Speaker 5: really impact your life and the way girls look at
31:57
Speaker 5: themselves and feel like that's what they have to do
31:59
Speaker 5: to be a certain way.
32:02
Speaker 3: I think I really liked the way that you were saying,
32:04
Speaker 3: the way that you would have approached the girl.
32:06
Speaker 5: Rather than because I think the way when I was
32:09
Speaker 5: younger when someone was like to me''re wrong, or like
32:12
Speaker 5: I can see your risks and that to me, to me,
32:16
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, it wasn't a good feeling. So
32:20
Speaker 5: because I when I also lost weight, I lose it
32:23
Speaker 5: a lot in my upper body first and my college
32:27
Speaker 5: like you could see, I was like I was a sick.
32:30
Speaker 5: I was so tiny and yeah, someone she was like,
32:34
Speaker 5: I can see your all your bones and it was
32:36
Speaker 5: just like those little comments and I would never want
32:39
Speaker 5: someone to feel the way I felt, of course when
32:42
Speaker 5: someone said that to me, and so beautiful.
32:44
Speaker 3: That like you can relate to the girls and what
32:46
Speaker 3: they're going through because you will be able to navigate
32:48
Speaker 3: it in a much more beautiful way than the way
32:50
Speaker 3: that you received it to.
32:52
Speaker 5: I think now it's not a thing I would want
32:55
Speaker 5: anyone to go through. But I think, having my past experience,
32:59
Speaker 5: I think I'm glad the way I had it received
33:02
Speaker 5: to me because I wouldn't want to have that on
33:03
Speaker 5: someone else.
33:04
Speaker 1: So I'm glad I had it in that way.
33:06
Speaker 5: So then I can put onto the next girls in
33:08
Speaker 5: a way that I would like to have been approached.
33:10
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like almost like removing the shame around it
33:13
Speaker 3: even happening in the first place. Of like, you're in
33:15
Speaker 3: this harsh environment that there's a lot of pressure, there's competition,
33:19
Speaker 3: there's you are technically competing against other women as an individual,
33:23
Speaker 3: so it's like, of course you're gonna be exposed to
33:25
Speaker 3: that environment. But like having support at that age and
33:27
Speaker 3: by the sounds of it, your old dance teacher and
33:29
Speaker 3: Nicole was an amazing like leader and you really yeah,
33:34
Speaker 3: she really The fact that you get to be that
33:36
Speaker 3: for other like for young girls so powerful.
33:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, And what would you say to someone listening, Maybe
33:41
Speaker 2: it's a mum, because we've got a lot of mum
33:43
Speaker 2: listeners that have daughters that are going through what you're
33:44
Speaker 2: going through, Like, what would you say would be the
33:46
Speaker 2: first step to get help because a lot of people
33:48
Speaker 2: don't have someone like Nicole, They don't.
33:49
Speaker 5: Have a support anyone family that gets burger Yeah, which
33:54
Speaker 5: is so hard I think as well for a young girl,
33:58
Speaker 5: even if you don't have that motherly figure in your
34:01
Speaker 5: life or something like that, I think go to someone
34:04
Speaker 5: you do feel comfortable talking to or even as a mother.
34:08
Speaker 5: If you have that and you're seeing your daughter something
34:10
Speaker 5: like that, maybe just approach her in the sense of
34:13
Speaker 5: like my mom did, like is everything okay?
34:16
Speaker 4: Like what if they're deny it though? So yeah, Mom,
34:17
Speaker 4: I get off my back.
34:18
Speaker 5: And that's what I did at the beginning, definitely. I
34:21
Speaker 5: remember I was wearing the baggy jumpers that you do
34:23
Speaker 5: and you try to cover your body up because I
34:25
Speaker 5: remember I went through all that stage for so long,
34:29
Speaker 5: and she used to come into my room three times
34:31
Speaker 5: a week and do it was just at nighttime, like
34:33
Speaker 5: you need to tell me what is going on? But
34:37
Speaker 5: I think if you're a mother trying to and coming
34:39
Speaker 5: from me I was pulling away, I think maybe you
34:43
Speaker 5: just need to kind of sit it down and be like, no, seriously,
34:47
Speaker 5: like it's okay if you're feeling this way, or if
34:50
Speaker 5: you're having these emotions brought up, or is there anyone
34:53
Speaker 5: saying something to you? Are you having like a bully
34:56
Speaker 5: or something? I think really sit it down and not
34:58
Speaker 5: just be like, oh, okay, you're okay. I really be like,
35:01
Speaker 5: is there something deeper than what it is? Get really,
35:06
Speaker 5: but don't play it down as like.
35:08
Speaker 1: It's a bad thing.
35:09
Speaker 5: Yeah, like it's okay to talk about it because I
35:11
Speaker 5: think as well, what I feel like what I came
35:15
Speaker 5: out the other side is it was okay to talk
35:17
Speaker 5: about it. Like Nicole never shamed me. I remember, I
35:21
Speaker 5: wasn't I didn't have to not go to dancing. She
35:23
Speaker 5: was like, come to dancing. This is what you want
35:25
Speaker 5: to like get towards to like And it was so
35:28
Speaker 5: good because my mum never said to me like you're
35:30
Speaker 5: not going to dancing or she thought that I was
35:32
Speaker 5: going to go take class secretly or something, because I
35:34
Speaker 5: used to just sit in the corner watching them dance
35:37
Speaker 5: because I'm like, that's what I want to do. So
35:41
Speaker 5: it wasn't shamed that I did have an eating disorder
35:44
Speaker 5: back then, Like I feel like everyone kind of approached
35:47
Speaker 5: it as like, this is your problem, let's find a
35:50
Speaker 5: solution and let's try and help you so then you
35:53
Speaker 5: can get back to what you love doing.
35:54
Speaker 4: And you had a doctor.
35:56
Speaker 2: Where in did you have a psychologist or a counselor
35:58
Speaker 2: or anything all of them?
35:59
Speaker 5: So I had a doctor, weekly psychologist, I had a
36:04
Speaker 5: DIETYA I was on everything you could.
36:07
Speaker 1: Do was my mom was doing for me.
36:10
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's hard because it was scary because when you
36:14
Speaker 5: had those dieticians and you see the plants. I remember
36:17
Speaker 5: I was looking at that and I was like, whoa,
36:19
Speaker 5: that's so much food. But my Mom's like, that's normal.
36:22
Speaker 5: People your age probably eat twice much. Yeah, and stuff
36:26
Speaker 5: like that. But it's so crazy to think in a
36:28
Speaker 5: young girl's brain the mental.
36:30
Speaker 1: Switch of like, oh, I have to eat all of that.
36:33
Speaker 5: But even now I remember my plan exactly because obviously
36:36
Speaker 5: I was doing it for so long. Now I was like,
36:39
Speaker 5: oh God, that wasn't even much at all, But it's
36:42
Speaker 5: so crazy to me. Back then it was just like
36:44
Speaker 5: the biggest thing.
36:46
Speaker 3: What would you say to somebody who's going through that
36:48
Speaker 3: right now and potentially has to go through that for
36:50
Speaker 3: that moment when they look at the plan, or potentially
36:52
Speaker 3: look at changing and evolving the way that they're choosing
36:56
Speaker 3: to eat, if they were like feeling that fear, what
36:58
Speaker 3: do you think that you would share with them?
36:59
Speaker 5: What I did was I did one million at a time,
37:02
Speaker 5: and some days, like I said, I had those outbursts
37:06
Speaker 5: with my mum and should have to get my sister
37:08
Speaker 5: to come over, and and that is normal you're going
37:11
Speaker 5: to go through that. But to me, what we did
37:14
Speaker 5: is just one Melli at a time.
37:15
Speaker 4: Yeah.
37:16
Speaker 1: I remember my foods.
37:18
Speaker 5: We always had foods that I did enjoy, Like I
37:20
Speaker 5: wasn't going to eat something that I wasn't going.
37:23
Speaker 1: To enjoy, which also I think helped. But I remember,
37:27
Speaker 1: I'll just get through breakfast. I would just get through.
37:30
Speaker 3: Yeah.
37:30
Speaker 5: I think that's what really helped me was I didn't
37:33
Speaker 5: look at it as like I got to eat all
37:35
Speaker 5: of this food today, and I think it was just
37:37
Speaker 5: for me. I was like, break it up, break it up.
37:40
Speaker 5: It's kind of like everything. It's like when you see
37:43
Speaker 5: your to do lists. Even I'm such a notes person.
37:50
Speaker 5: My notes, it's like courage to do lists today it's
37:53
Speaker 5: like important, Yeah, what's not important. That's what I used
37:56
Speaker 5: to do and that's what I do now, and I'm
37:58
Speaker 5: such like a I'll just do one job at a time.
38:01
Speaker 1: So that's what I would say to people now. Even
38:03
Speaker 1: with food, I just do one meal at a time,
38:06
Speaker 1: and you.
38:07
Speaker 5: Are you are going to have those moments where I
38:09
Speaker 5: was like I'm not eating this, but it's just like
38:11
Speaker 5: it's okay, or even eat half yeah, and then come
38:15
Speaker 5: back to it. Just as long as you're getting it
38:17
Speaker 5: into your body and knowing that it's going to help you.
38:20
Speaker 1: Honestly, that's what I did.
38:21
Speaker 5: I just I was at lunch and I just one
38:24
Speaker 5: meal of the time. I'll think about dinner when it
38:26
Speaker 5: comes to it. You don't need to be thinking about
38:27
Speaker 5: that now.
38:28
Speaker 2: It's like that quotes like when there's a staircase, like
38:30
Speaker 2: don't think about getting to the.
38:31
Speaker 1: Top one set, And I think that's all you need
38:33
Speaker 1: to do.
38:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, and now twenty five, you're teaching dancing, my dance teacher.
38:38
Speaker 2: I find it very inspiring and I've loved my journey
38:41
Speaker 2: getting back into dancing. How is your relationship with food
38:43
Speaker 2: and your body? Obviously you're modeling, so I would assume
38:46
Speaker 2: you're quite a confident person.
38:48
Speaker 4: So tell us how you're feeling now.
38:49
Speaker 5: Like what was saying, You're always going to still get
38:51
Speaker 5: those moments of like.
38:53
Speaker 4: A little mean girl pops in, the little mean.
38:55
Speaker 1: Girl pops in.
38:56
Speaker 5: Maybe I didn't get a modeling job because I didn't
38:58
Speaker 5: look a certain way and stuff like that hard. Honestly,
39:02
Speaker 5: it's so hard to switch my mind set again. But
39:06
Speaker 5: I think I'm in such a great relationship with my family.
39:09
Speaker 5: I have a great partner, I have great friends. I
39:12
Speaker 5: only have a small group of friends who you surround
39:15
Speaker 5: your circle with and stuff like that. But now I
39:17
Speaker 5: think as well, coming out the other side dealing with
39:22
Speaker 5: it's so crazy twenty five. I've gone through an eating disorder,
39:26
Speaker 5: losing my dad, general life, yeah, mishaps and stuff like that,
39:31
Speaker 5: I think as well, Just I know I'm strong, so
39:34
Speaker 5: I think as well, I'm like and as well having
39:37
Speaker 5: my agency, I'm kind of on the other side.
39:40
Speaker 4: There on the front and behind the lane.
39:42
Speaker 1: I'm on the front and the behind.
39:44
Speaker 5: So now when I get briefs and one of my
39:47
Speaker 5: models didn't get the job and I understand why, I'm like, oh, maybe.
39:50
Speaker 1: That's why I didn't get the job.
39:51
Speaker 5: Now as well, so I've kind of switched my mindset
39:55
Speaker 5: to what's meant for me will come yeah, and what's
39:59
Speaker 5: not meant for me won't. So now I'm looking at
40:02
Speaker 5: myself and I have a trainer.
40:03
Speaker 1: We have the same trainer job.
40:05
Speaker 5: And he's great, and it's like he's really as well
40:08
Speaker 5: fueled my body and also hitting.
40:10
Speaker 1: My protein and like giving you giving me a new focus.
40:14
Speaker 5: And it's not me going down another path, but it's
40:17
Speaker 5: me just like wanting to get stronger. And he's not
40:20
Speaker 5: a shame because like if you're at an event, go
40:23
Speaker 5: eat the food. We can come back again one step
40:26
Speaker 5: at a time. You can go back to your plan tomorrow.
40:29
Speaker 5: It's not going to do any harm to you. And
40:30
Speaker 5: it's like it's so good hearing that as well, because
40:33
Speaker 5: it's like you only live once and you're not gonna
40:37
Speaker 5: not enjoy something because of this. So it's really nice
40:40
Speaker 5: now being a model and obviously having all of these
40:44
Speaker 5: different question programs and stuff that I'm doing, of like
40:48
Speaker 5: it all kind of comes in together as one, and
40:51
Speaker 5: it's really nice to like put my focus into other
40:54
Speaker 5: people and hopefully helping other people as well, Like you
40:57
Speaker 5: can be a model, but you don't have to be
40:59
Speaker 5: a sick, thin model. We're just so nice and it's
41:05
Speaker 5: so nice.
41:06
Speaker 1: Dancing is turning.
41:07
Speaker 5: That way obviously years ago there or you were saying,
41:13
Speaker 5: I mean if you're a ballery now it's very different story.
41:16
Speaker 5: But commercial jobs everything they want diversity. They want women
41:21
Speaker 5: of every size, color like everything which is which is
41:25
Speaker 5: beautiful and it's so nice to see and it's so
41:28
Speaker 5: nice seeing dance going down that path.
41:30
Speaker 2: Let's use tape mccraye, for example, She's an amazing figure,
41:33
Speaker 2: but I know back in my day, like she would
41:35
Speaker 2: have been considered a curvy girl in my dance teacher.
41:38
Speaker 2: If I look like her, she would have said, you're
41:40
Speaker 2: never gonna make it.
41:41
Speaker 5: Even I saw her concept in LA last year when
41:44
Speaker 5: I went and saw her, and I was just so
41:46
Speaker 5: inspired by her, her dances and her and I'm like,
41:51
Speaker 5: there's no way she'll not be eating to get through
41:54
Speaker 5: her shows that she's doing now. And that's what I
41:56
Speaker 5: always need to remind my dances and stuff like that,
41:59
Speaker 5: Like if you're in a professional show like I was
42:02
Speaker 5: last year.
42:03
Speaker 1: I was at Pink Flamingo, I was in a two
42:04
Speaker 1: hour show.
42:06
Speaker 5: There was no way I was getting through a show
42:08
Speaker 5: or any professional job by not eating at all or
42:12
Speaker 5: fueling your body to what And that's what it's so
42:14
Speaker 5: good now having George and stuff like that, isn't it.
42:17
Speaker 5: It's like I remember a few years ago, I started
42:19
Speaker 5: going back down that path of like I know, if
42:22
Speaker 5: I had a bikini shoit in the morning, I won't
42:23
Speaker 5: eat breakfast because I don't want to feel.
42:26
Speaker 1: Bloated or certain kind of way.
42:28
Speaker 5: But now it's like, no, I need my fuel to
42:31
Speaker 5: get me through to lunchtime and stuff like that. Like
42:34
Speaker 5: it's so nice retraining my body again of like what
42:38
Speaker 5: I actually need to do.
42:39
Speaker 2: That's the cool thing with George is like because I
42:41
Speaker 2: was always very against calorie counting and macrocounting, and when
42:44
Speaker 2: I first became friends with Gianna, she was tracking her
42:47
Speaker 2: macros and I remember just being so resistant because I
42:50
Speaker 2: had been out that path too where I wasn't eating
42:52
Speaker 2: right and I never wanted to become obsessed with it
42:54
Speaker 2: or feel guilty for not hitting it.
42:55
Speaker 1: For hitting your targets and stuff like that.
42:57
Speaker 2: The way George explains, it's like you need a certain
42:59
Speaker 2: amount of fuel and protein to get stronger in the gym,
43:02
Speaker 2: and if you want to be more tone like, I'm
43:04
Speaker 2: not going to be able to get you there unless
43:05
Speaker 2: you eat more. You're eating the right foods now, it's like, oh,
43:08
Speaker 2: even about the numbers, it's just like I know I
43:10
Speaker 2: will feel and look my best when I am out
43:12
Speaker 2: of food.
43:13
Speaker 5: And that's crazy because now I'm when I'm on Now,
43:15
Speaker 5: I'm on my plan. If I miss a meal, if
43:17
Speaker 5: I'm just out, I don't have a snack or something,
43:20
Speaker 5: I'm like Damn, I wish I had that or I
43:23
Speaker 5: just have it later or something, because I'm like, you're
43:24
Speaker 5: feeling it in the gym later. I'm not just as
43:28
Speaker 5: strong or I'm not like I can really feel it
43:31
Speaker 5: if I'm busy on a shoot and it does. It
43:34
Speaker 5: gets like that where you're shooting for eight hours and
43:38
Speaker 5: you're having your breakfast, your lunch, you're not even thinking
43:40
Speaker 5: about all the in betweens and the gym next day.
43:42
Speaker 5: And I was like, damn it likesion with you.
43:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, I cannot. I mean, I'm not that fait anyway,
43:49
Speaker 2: but I can.
43:49
Speaker 4: I can feel that. You can feel like.
43:54
Speaker 3: I don't recover as well, and training you feel it
43:57
Speaker 3: and you do a performance.
43:59
Speaker 5: And he was saying, and it's sleep is such a
44:02
Speaker 5: big thing. Eight hours And he's like, are you hitting
44:05
Speaker 5: ate hours sleep? And I was like, no, definitely, haven't
44:07
Speaker 5: hit that tonight or something, but yeah, it's it's so important, Yeah,
44:10
Speaker 5: so important.
44:11
Speaker 3: I think something that was helpful for me with accounting calory,
44:13
Speaker 3: Like I don't count calories now, but I just I
44:16
Speaker 3: roughly know because I did it for so long, you
44:18
Speaker 3: know what. Yeah, but I remember somebody telling was actually
44:21
Speaker 3: an ex partner of mind, saying like, you will lose
44:23
Speaker 3: bone density as a woman with time if you don't
44:26
Speaker 3: consistently eat the same amount of.
44:28
Speaker 1: Food and fuels your body in the right way. And
44:31
Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, what.
44:31
Speaker 3: A beautiful way to look at it, and to like
44:34
Speaker 3: not so much obsess with the numbers, but do it
44:36
Speaker 3: from a standpoint of like longevity of health, because it's like,
44:40
Speaker 3: you know, we think about, you know, when you get
44:41
Speaker 3: older and you know, older women having falls and breaking
44:43
Speaker 3: their hips and stuff like that, because there's the loss
44:45
Speaker 3: of bone density, you know, lack of food, lack of nutrition,
44:48
Speaker 3: and that's just a really beautiful way to look at
44:50
Speaker 3: it from that standpoint.
44:51
Speaker 5: That's what I say to my girls now that I
44:53
Speaker 5: teach and stuff like that. Like a lot of them
44:55
Speaker 5: in full time and academy, they do their big performances
44:57
Speaker 5: at the end of the year, and I always I
45:00
Speaker 5: love going in at the beginning of the year and
45:01
Speaker 5: talking to them saying like, in some days they do
45:04
Speaker 5: two run throughs of show and it's hot, there's seventy
45:08
Speaker 5: plus people in it. There's so much and I'm like,
45:11
Speaker 5: especially with you guys, like you're not older, so usually
45:14
Speaker 5: lose weight a lot quicker than what someone in their
45:16
Speaker 5: twenties plus would be. And I was like, guys, if
45:19
Speaker 5: you're getting through a two hour show, you need to
45:22
Speaker 5: fuel your body.
45:23
Speaker 1: But I'm not.
45:23
Speaker 5: Saying just like a burger or something, go meal prep
45:26
Speaker 5: for the week, Like I find that. And I was
45:28
Speaker 5: saying that last year when I went into the girls
45:30
Speaker 5: and I spoke to them, I was like, on a Sunday,
45:33
Speaker 5: get with a group of your friends, go to someone's
45:35
Speaker 5: house and make it a fun thing, like don't be
45:38
Speaker 5: ashamed of it, like meal prep for the week, and
45:41
Speaker 5: like make it like a group thing and like good.
45:44
Speaker 1: Chicken, mince or be like really.
45:47
Speaker 5: Whole foods, and like after you can go treat yourselves.
45:50
Speaker 5: And I'm not saying don't ever do that, but I'm like,
45:52
Speaker 5: good quality food is really going to help you, guys,
45:56
Speaker 5: And it's going to make you better. Dances, that's your
46:00
Speaker 5: end goal, Like it's going to make you better.
46:03
Speaker 3: And it also teaches them to learn how to take
46:04
Speaker 3: care of them at a young age.
46:06
Speaker 1: What I want to see, Yeah.
46:08
Speaker 4: You don't want to start that when you're my age.
46:09
Speaker 4: You want to start as you can.
46:11
Speaker 2: There was no education around food back when I was
46:14
Speaker 2: when I was younger, like.
46:15
Speaker 5: And it's so no one talks about it, and it's
46:18
Speaker 5: like it's like a scary thing. Yeah, and that's why
46:21
Speaker 5: I'm so happy I'm on here today and it shouldn't
46:23
Speaker 5: be a scary thing to talk about. Or yes, I
46:25
Speaker 5: went through some hard times when I was younger and
46:27
Speaker 5: stuff like that. But if I can help the next person, yeah,
46:31
Speaker 5: or that one person to message me and be like
46:35
Speaker 5: thank you, I am actually going through this right now.
46:37
Speaker 5: But maybe I'm just going to take that journey and
46:41
Speaker 5: go see a dietician and just take that step or
46:44
Speaker 5: tell my mom, Hey, look I'm going through this, can
46:46
Speaker 5: you help me?
46:47
Speaker 2: I think environment is really important too, Like your environment, Yeah,
46:51
Speaker 2: like what are your friends saying?
46:52
Speaker 4: Are they doing what you're doing? Like is it healthy?
46:54
Speaker 2: You have been spending lots time with them if they're
46:56
Speaker 2: actually enabling your habits and or normalizing it. So like
46:59
Speaker 2: if you're at a dance school or even at school, like
47:01
Speaker 2: checking who you're around around a huge impact.
47:05
Speaker 5: Because again, like obviously I wasn't with a very nice
47:08
Speaker 5: group of people when I was younger for her to
47:11
Speaker 5: have that comment on me obviously now it's so different,
47:15
Speaker 5: But I could never say that to someone and post
47:17
Speaker 5: that on social media or like just even think that
47:22
Speaker 5: is okay, Or even if I had.
47:24
Speaker 1: A daughter and she wrote something like that, I would
47:27
Speaker 1: be like, are you like what's going on? Like You're
47:31
Speaker 1: not going to be the bully.
47:33
Speaker 3: It's so interesting though, hey, Like, I feel it's so
47:36
Speaker 3: important to educate younger women and young girls of like
47:39
Speaker 3: how to be strong in themselves too, because it is
47:41
Speaker 3: you're so easily influenced by the people around you. I
47:43
Speaker 3: remember when I was younger, I went through a breakup.
47:47
Speaker 1: I was like fifteen to eighteen.
47:48
Speaker 3: We were together for like three years, and my ex
47:50
Speaker 3: had a best girlfriend and she was an absolute cow
47:53
Speaker 3: to me.
47:53
Speaker 1: She was like hated me.
47:55
Speaker 3: I remember hearing back a comment that she had said
47:57
Speaker 3: about me, which was, oh, wow, Tiana looks like she's
48:00
Speaker 3: taking the breakup really bad. She looks like she's been
48:02
Speaker 3: eating an ice a tub of ice cream every night.
48:05
Speaker 3: And I remember it was one of those moments like
48:07
Speaker 3: it was for you, where it was like that kick
48:09
Speaker 3: started my health and fitness journey. But it was also
48:12
Speaker 3: one of those things that really stayed with me.
48:14
Speaker 5: That's the thing, because I was thinking about this and
48:16
Speaker 5: I remember I probably haven't thought about this since I
48:20
Speaker 5: got the questions and when you were telling me, and
48:21
Speaker 5: I was like, what trick is it? And then I
48:23
Speaker 5: was like thinking back to when I had those appointments
48:25
Speaker 5: with Megan and she really dug deep with kinesiology and
48:29
Speaker 5: went back to a time when I was younger, and
48:30
Speaker 5: she was like what he and I was like, I
48:33
Speaker 5: think that's.
48:33
Speaker 1: What it was. Yeah, that one comment.
48:36
Speaker 5: And I think because it was aimed at me, not
48:39
Speaker 5: at the other girl in the photo as well.
48:41
Speaker 1: And we looked these the exact same size, so it's
48:44
Speaker 1: not like I was bigger or she was tiny, like
48:47
Speaker 1: you were exact same and.
48:48
Speaker 4: Just thirteen year old girls.
48:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, thirteen year old girls.
48:51
Speaker 5: And I think having that one comment directed at me,
48:54
Speaker 5: I was like, that's what hit.
48:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, it starts as young as like my daughter's three,
48:59
Speaker 2: and you know it should be nudy and go look.
49:01
Speaker 1: At my big and I'm like, look at your beautiful belly.
49:05
Speaker 4: I'm so careful.
49:06
Speaker 5: I say to her, my sister is as well with
49:08
Speaker 5: her children as well, like like I would say something
49:11
Speaker 5: and she was like, no, no, say it like this,
49:13
Speaker 5: but not in it, not an eating way. But I
49:15
Speaker 5: think just like the way with kids, and I was like,
49:18
Speaker 5: that's so right, because it's just you just don't think
49:20
Speaker 5: about at such a young age then, and they're just
49:23
Speaker 5: gonna they listen to what everyone.
49:25
Speaker 2: Says the first seven years, like even affirmations, like they
49:29
Speaker 2: sound fluffy, but I've done I'm so long.
49:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, I believe in all that.
49:34
Speaker 4: I'm clever, I am clever. I'm clever.
49:35
Speaker 2: For the first seven years of your life, you're gonna
49:37
Speaker 2: have a belief you're pretty damn clever. Someone's gonna say
49:39
Speaker 2: you're dumb or you're not clever. She's gonna be like, no,
49:41
Speaker 2: I'm clever.
49:43
Speaker 1: I always find that with manifesting and stuff like that.
49:46
Speaker 5: It's like you can say it and it's like hah,
49:48
Speaker 5: but if I write it down or if I see
49:50
Speaker 5: it visually, or it's kind of like how I've manifested
49:53
Speaker 5: my whole career. There's so much stuff that I've it's happened,
49:57
Speaker 5: but it's just happened in a different way. Like I've
49:59
Speaker 5: had so much great opportunities, but it's come, but just
50:02
Speaker 5: in a different way than I expect it.
50:04
Speaker 2: Yeah.
50:05
Speaker 5: Yeah, but it's because I've always visualized me doing it,
50:08
Speaker 5: and I always see myself and I say it to myself,
50:11
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, I'll get there.
50:12
Speaker 1: I don't know how, but I'm going to.
50:13
Speaker 3: Get You have like a deep rooted belief that there
50:16
Speaker 3: and you're like, yeah, this is the way.
50:18
Speaker 2: Yeah.
50:18
Speaker 5: And I think that's what happened when I was sixteen
50:20
Speaker 5: with my dad and everything. I was like, I know
50:23
Speaker 5: I'm going to get through this. I know I'm going
50:25
Speaker 5: to be great. Like I knew I was going to
50:27
Speaker 5: have those moments and I did, but I just happened in.
50:30
Speaker 1: A different way. But I just like, you just got
50:33
Speaker 1: to believe in it.
50:34
Speaker 4: It's beautiful.
50:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you so much for joining us, sorry for
50:37
Speaker 2: having me on here tell your story and and I'm
50:41
Speaker 2: so excited that you are with the Healed Organization. You
50:44
Speaker 2: can help younger girls because I did have nick there,
50:47
Speaker 2: but I wish there was more sisterhood or motherly figures
50:50
Speaker 2: that could have helped me through it. And I know
50:52
Speaker 2: there's so many other girls that don't have that environment
50:54
Speaker 2: at home and they they need someone like you're talking
50:56
Speaker 2: up and being that safe person that can come too.
50:58
Speaker 2: So I'm really happy that you're working with so many
51:00
Speaker 2: young girls.
51:01
Speaker 3: Thank you for just normalizing the conversation as well without
51:03
Speaker 3: any shame, Like that's what we on this podcast is
51:06
Speaker 3: like we like to talk about the things that people
51:07
Speaker 3: don't really want to talk about because it's like in
51:10
Speaker 3: the shame of things is why people suffer because they
51:13
Speaker 3: do it alone and they don't deal with support. And
51:15
Speaker 3: it's like things that we go through are made to
51:18
Speaker 3: be felt like a big scary thing that we shouldn't
51:20
Speaker 3: be going through and it's like we want to remove
51:22
Speaker 3: all lot.
51:22
Speaker 4: And actually so many people are going through it.
51:24
Speaker 2: But the more that everyone talks, as Lana say about
51:25
Speaker 2: being in the dark room with the torture.
51:27
Speaker 3: Oh so as Lana as a previous guest that we
51:29
Speaker 3: had incredible, human, incredible.
51:31
Speaker 4: Story her daughter, it was fourteen, she's suicide and human.
51:37
Speaker 3: She talks about grief in this way that when you're
51:39
Speaker 3: in your grief, you're in the dark, and she goes,
51:42
Speaker 3: you know, if we just would shine a light on
51:44
Speaker 3: our grief, we would realize that there are thousands of
51:46
Speaker 3: people standing with us.
51:48
Speaker 1: And she's it's just like a really.
51:49
Speaker 3: Beautiful way that she explained it, because it's like, you
51:51
Speaker 3: know what, she's right, Like everyone is experiencing their own
51:54
Speaker 3: level of suffering.
51:55
Speaker 1: But they're doing it a long way.
51:56
Speaker 2: Yeah.
51:57
Speaker 3: So long as people are willing to open up, be vulnerable,
51:59
Speaker 3: and like people to be supported, they would not have
52:02
Speaker 3: to suffer alone.
52:04
Speaker 1: Yeah.
52:05
Speaker 4: Alone, it just feels so much.
52:07
Speaker 5: It feels so much harder, And I think that's what happened.
52:10
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful I wasn't.
52:12
Speaker 5: I had my mum, my family nied Megan. I had
52:15
Speaker 5: everyone kind of cheering for you, cheering for me the
52:18
Speaker 5: whole time. Wasn't saying like they didn't leave me. Yeah,
52:22
Speaker 5: they kept not pressuring me, but they kept pushing me
52:24
Speaker 5: and be like, you know where you're okay, You're okay,
52:26
Speaker 5: You're okay.
52:27
Speaker 1: Like we've got you, which I think that's what you need.
52:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyone listening, where can they find you and connect
52:33
Speaker 2: with you? I know when you get back from America,
52:35
Speaker 2: we're going to do another Sunday.
52:37
Speaker 4: Yes, and a group one.
52:39
Speaker 1: Yes.
52:39
Speaker 4: I hold a group class for everywhere.
52:40
Speaker 5: I actually yeah, I'm holding one for Healed. So on
52:44
Speaker 5: my instagram Kirodley you can find on the first of
52:48
Speaker 5: March a Sunday night, I am holding a class and
52:53
Speaker 5: all the proceeds go back into the Healed program. So
52:56
Speaker 5: the first thirty minutes of class, it will be Megan
52:59
Speaker 5: and I talking just about healed, a quick backstory of
53:03
Speaker 5: just how I got started at thirteen and how I've
53:06
Speaker 5: met Megan, and then we have an hour dance class
53:09
Speaker 5: which will be so fun and it can be for anyone,
53:11
Speaker 5: so if you've never danced before, if you've done advanced classes,
53:15
Speaker 5: but it's just going to be a fun night. It's
53:18
Speaker 5: all about the experience getting to dance together, women together,
53:21
Speaker 5: boys if they want.
53:21
Speaker 1: To come, whoever.
53:24
Speaker 5: And then the last thirty minutes we have a sound healer. Yeah,
53:29
Speaker 5: so yeah, and we have some cookies there, We have
53:31
Speaker 5: some selfish shops there, we have a bit of everything there,
53:35
Speaker 5: and we'll have lots of people there cheering you on.
53:38
Speaker 1: And yeah, such a good night.
53:39
Speaker 4: Yeah.
53:40
Speaker 2: We will leave all the current details in the show
53:42
Speaker 2: notes below, but thank you for joining me.
53:44
Speaker 3: Thank you Bye,