Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Fantasy Roommate

Transcript

Phone Tap: Fantasy Roommate · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's time for your prank phone calls, Brooke and Jeffrey,
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: in the morning.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: And I'll be honest, I'm in one of Jose's fantasy
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: football leagues, and I don't know half the people in it.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I thought you were going to say you didn't know
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the players.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: I don't know half the players on my team either,
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: but that's a different issue. My point is, it's not
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: uncommon to end up in a fantasy league. where you
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: don't know a lot of the other participants.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, some of them are tight, some of them are
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: just random.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: And that's what happens today when we call a guy
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: who was referred by a friend to join a new league,
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: hasn't met anybody from it, and before the season starts,
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: he's about to get a call from the commish to
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: go over their very specific set of rules in your
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: phone tap right now.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s. Hello? Hi,
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: is this James? Yeah, who's this? One second. Let's load
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: this up. Welcome to the league. Sorry to stop in
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: a second. No, it's replayed. Shoot, sorry. Welcome. Thank you.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Who's this? This is Topher. I'm the commish of the
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: fantasy football league that you just joined. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Hi.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Hi. Your buddy Robin said that you'd be a good
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: addition to our fantasy crew. Yeah, yeah, I'm ready to
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: do it. Sweet. Awesome. So is there something you wanted
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: to talk about? Sorry, what? Is there something you called for? Oh, yeah,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: we should. I'm just trying to connect because we should
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: talk about the draft. So who are you going to
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: take first?
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: I honestly don't know.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: I haven't looked. Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who?
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Scataboo who? I just told you my number one pick.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Cam Scataboo. Shh, don't tell anyone. Dude, I really like...
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I know. It's a lot to take in. It's pretty
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: cool to be part of the crew now. Anyway, how
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: big is your place? Why does that matter? Well, just
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: because we were going to do the draft at my place.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: But guess who got evicted? I'm guessing you. Yeah. You're
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: good at this game. Sorry, I should load up the music.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: You did it. I did what? You guessed who got evicted.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: It was me.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was pretty obvious, man.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know that those rent payments aren't just suggestions? Like,
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: they actually enforce those. Yeah, I'm familiar how rent works.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Speaking of, actually, I'm going to need your league fees
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: up front for the next six years. So, what's your Venmo?
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Hold up, wait, six years?
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Why would I give you six years of league fees?
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Just help a brother out.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: You know what? I'm not comfortable with that at all.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: I'm not trying to come at you, bro. But for realsies,
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: if we can't do the draft at my place because
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: of the whole eviction thing, we either could do it
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: at yours. No, that's not happening. Or the local blood bank. What? No,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: we're not.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to a blood bank.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Ka-ching! Take my plasma. And for my second pick, I
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: am taking... This isn't a draft. I don't know what...
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Bing Manning! He's retired. Oh, shoot. He's not playing. Okay, look.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: Robin didn't tell me that this was going to be
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: this involved, and.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, you know what? James, are you worried that if
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: I come over to your place for the draft, that
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: after everyone leaves, I'm just going to lock myself in
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: your room because I don't have anywhere else to live?
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I hadn't even thought about it until you just said that. So, no.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: You know what? Pretend I never said anything.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: And we'll just see what happens.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Why would I pretend? I don't have time for this.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: This is starting to ruin my day, and it's really
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: stressing me out.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: I should fill you in on the new rule this
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: year that the new guy has to have somebody else
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: in the league live with them. Let me guess. That
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: new person is you, Topher. Oh, you did it. You
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: guessed correctly.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Bro.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Well, don't worry. It's only until the check's clear from
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: the blood donation place. No, just stop, dude. You're acting
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: like we're not friends. We're not pals.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: We're not friends.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: We're not pals. But I already told you my first pick. Scataboo! Okay, cool, man.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: I'm out.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Look, clearly you need some help.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: I'm not doing this, okay?
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: But I didn't even get to tell you my second pick,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: which is Brooke and Jeffrey's prank calls in the morning.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Are you... That's right. You just got pranked on the radio, fool.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? It's Brooke and Jeffrey's phone tap. Oh,
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: my God. I can't believe. Oh, my God.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: My real name is Jeff. Your friend Robin told us
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: that you're just joining this brand new league and he
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: wanted us.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: To prank you. I'm just excited because we're going to
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: be roomies.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: That voice.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Tomorrow morning, 7 a.m., running back brunch. Brooke and Jeffrey's
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: phone taps on the 20s. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.