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Transcript

I Care Too Much And It’s Ruining My Peace · Ok But Are You Good?

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Corinne, and this is Okay But Are You Good, where we check in ourselves on a weekly basis to see how we're doing.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now we're living our best lives and we're just trying to get by.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: I feel fantastic.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I I love my good moods, and I'm gonna take them and run with them.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: So hopefully everyone else is having a good week.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: I can't believe it's May.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Time is just flying and it's gonna be a good month.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get into it.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I have been realizing something.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I kind of already knew this, but I care too much.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't really mean that in like a positive, great quality.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's more of caring too much that it sucks the life out of you and it affects your peace and staying in a good mood.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it looks something like thinking about things way longer than I should be, feeling things deeper than they need to be, and giving energy to things that don't deserve it.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a quality I've always had.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I honestly, for me, it ties into my anxiety.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So caring too much, overthinking too much, it's just how my brain works.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, what I've been noticing lately of how it's like different is I'm replaying like really simple and chill conversations and like doubting my responses to them, and also wondering like if I gave the wrong reply, which then ties into taking things way more personal than they need to be.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not even about me.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And this has kind of just been a constant, probably all my life, but like in a different way.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: But lately it's just been exhausting, and I'm tired of living like this.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's not something I'm gonna fix overnight.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: I know that.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm tired of caring about things that don't need my energy, and it's just wasteful.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's wasteful of my time.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think lately, like I've realized, like, oh, you're caring too much about like things that are so irrelevant, and like other people would just like do it without thinking about it.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm trying to be one of those people, but still like keep my own good qualities and characteristics of like you can still care, but not have it take over your life and your thought process and like drain everything in you.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really just having interactions with people.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: I think I've had a lot of like awkward interactions lately, and it's made me feel like uneasy.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh gosh, like, why did I say that?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Why did why was my body language so awkward?
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I like second guessing plans I have coming up?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Just like a mix of a multitude of things, and I just like don't feel like myself.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm I I do tell myself, like, okay, like you're fine, push through it, like this isn't that big of a deal, like you're gonna get over this.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: But it's so hard, like when you're in the mix of that, to be like, it's all gonna work out.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And we've talked about this on so many episodes of like, don't waste your energy on people, don't care so much, only focus on what you can control.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I think like I have been trying to do that, but sometimes it's too much.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And like you have to like train your mind, and it's you can't train on every little circumstance ahead of time.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like it it things come and go, so you have to like work to through it.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have post-its that tell me that it's not personal and nobody cares because I need those, like it's kind of sad reminders, I guess.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: But for me, it's like, okay, like it's a snap back in reality of like, this isn't that serious.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: No one's thinking about your conversation you had, no one cares if you said something and it was like socially awkward.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, everyone's moved on.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's so tiring, and I am tired of caring too much, especially about these little conversations that like just take over your whole day.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, sometimes I have like dreams about it, and it's like, ugh, like, no, like it's doing too much.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, chill out for real.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes, you know, this comes out of nowhere.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: For me, I never know what I'm getting into, depending on the week.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: It varies.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of fun, you know.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, not really.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I hate it.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I wish everything was like easy, same boring day all the time, but that's not how life is, right?
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: But when it doesn't come out of nowhere and you recognize the signs or the experiences, it's coming from like these thoughts that you have in the back of your head of you're trying to keep people in your life, you're trying to avoid any conflict, you're people pleasing, you're just trying to have things run smoothly with no hiccups.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: And like also, I think it's just as simple as wanting to be understood.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think I have a hard time with how my thoughts work and my brain works, and some people just don't get me, and they just that's it.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I just have a hard time explaining myself, and in doing that, I end up overexplaining, and then it's like word vomit, and then people interpret that the wrong way, or they look at it the wrong way, and then that causes conflict, and then bam, there's your anxiety, and it's so funny because it's it's me, like I am the problem.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Hello.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: But we're self-aware, so it's fine.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: But from like caring too much and like trying to avoid conflict and like people getting upset, it just or like inconveniencing other people.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's too much, like it's caring too much, and you can't just live your life.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't want to be having to think about every single move.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm playing chess all day.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: I want to just wake up not stressed about how the day is gonna go.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: I want to stick to my boring routine, do what I gotta do, and go to bed and chill and doom scroll or read, you know, try and be productive out here because I recognize I'm losing my peace, I'm losing my energy and my happiness, honestly, from thinking too much and caring too much and like not trying to be a burden on other people, even if it's like the most minuscule thing.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel drained.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like I am, I feel great right now, but like this past week I've been feeling drained and like just a shell of myself.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I recognize like it's because I'm caring about the wrong things, I'm putting energy into things that don't need it.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why my goal is to work on stop caring so much, where it gets so exhausting.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this isn't empathetic caring.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is like caring about the wrong things, irrelevant things, and just wasting energy because not everything deserves the same level of attention.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's where like your common sense comes in and like your like survival skills, I guess, in a way.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes, you know, I don't have common sense that uh to the level other people think I should.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know, man.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: I just have my silly dumb moments, my little hike hiccups, and I'm like, oh yeah, wait, like this isn't priority, this isn't important.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: So you gotta readjust and realign and focus on like what does matter.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I can save my energy and my peace and my time and like be in this good mood I'm in right now.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I will I will say I'm probably in a good mood because I was able to work out.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not my knees didn't hurt from my my little marathon.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that that's helping.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's those endorphins.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: All right, I digress.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, so some of the signs I've been trying to like keep in the back of my mind and like catch myself before I spiral and like get in that rut of overthinking and caring too much is not assuming everything's about me, letting things go quicker and not sitting on them for so long, asking myself the very simple question of does this actually matter?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Does this need so much of your energy and time?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure 85% of the time, no.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: The answer is no, babe.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: And look, it's not perfect.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a licensed therapist, I'm just a girl with feelings, you know, feelings and thoughts, and like trying to work towards being my best, happy, and healthiest self.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's all I care about, man.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing else.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, ideally, that's all I'd care about.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm too stuck on conversations that don't even matter, and whoever I had them with does not care because nobody cares, right?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: But that's why we keep working.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: We have our routines, we have our habits, we have things to look forward to so we can get back on track.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: We can reset when we fall off the wagon of spiraling over caring too much, of focusing on the wrong things.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because life isn't perfect, but you can work towards being very close to it.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I'm working on.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you're not alone.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're not alone if you have too many thoughts, too many feelings, you're doing too much.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think the world is about having people that are too much and too less because we mesh together and we make it work.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone is working towards living their best life.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: In some capacity, it all looks different.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: So don't worry if you've been feeling drained, if you've been caring too much about things that are so irrelevant, I got your, I got you.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: We'll work towards it.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Just remember not everything deserves all your time and energy.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta reevaluate the situation, take a step back, and give yourself that chance to move on.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: So make sure to check in with yourself this week and ask, okay, but are you good?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for listening in, and don't forget to like and subscribe.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.