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31. Stuck in Discouragement? How to Experience Freedom When You Feel Depleted · Believe & Become | Ministry, Biblical Encouragement, God's Will, How to Change, Holy Spirit

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Today we're talking about discouragement. What is it? Why do we seem to get stuck in it and what can we do to get out of it and stay out? We've got some good strategies and biblical insight for you today. This is going to be a good one. If you're tired of leading others while secretly battling doubt, discouragement and mental warfare.
• 0:22
  Speaker B: And you want practical tools to renew your mind and walk boldly in your.
• 0:25
  Speaker A: Calling as a leader, you in the right place. Welcome to Believe and Become.
• 0:29
  Speaker B: We're Josh and Carina, your spirit filled coaches, here to help you overcome those limiting beliefs and lead others confidently.
• 0:36
  Speaker A: If you're ready to hear God's voice more clearly, to step into your purpose and find joy and strength in the.
• 0:42
  Speaker B: Everyday, silence those Bible app reminders judging you from your lock screen and let's jump in. Hey friend, here's a quick invitation before we dive in. If you're a spirit filled Christian in leadership, whether you're a pastor, business owner or a stay at home mom, and you're feeling stretched thin, stuck in, overthinking or unsure how to break through, what's holding you back? You are not alone. We would love to invite you to our brand new Facebook group, Overcome Limiting Beliefs for Christians and Leadership. It's a space for faith filled leaders like you to be refreshed, encouraged and equipped to renew your mind and lead from God's presence, not pressure. Inside you'll find community, practical guidance and uplifting conversations that help you step into greater clarity, peace and purpose. Come join us. Follow the link in the show notes. We'll meet you there.
• 1:35
  Speaker A: All right, welcome back to the podcast. We are excited for today. Today we are talking about discouragement. So what is discouragement? Why do we get discouraged? One way that I like to look at it is discouragement is a pattern of thinking that we get stuck in. So I like to think of it as if we let disappointments build up, it becomes kind of a way of life. That's discouragement. So you might get disappointed. I didn't get the raise I wanted the job or I didn't get into the school I wanted or things just, you know, whatever situation didn't work out the way I thought it was going to be. And then you kind of start to go, you start to connect the dots in your brain. It's like that was, that was a disappointment. That was a disappointment. My whole life is a disappointment. I'm discouraged. Things are never going to get better for me. You kind of spiral into this pit of negative thinking and then Just every day is kind of like, well, it's never going to get any better. You know, I've just kind of given up. And what it is, is we've formed a belief system around a couple negative things that have happened in our lives. And the new belief system is that God doesn't care about me and it's never going to turn around. And that's, quite frankly, it's just awful. It's an awful place to be.
• 2:50
  Speaker B: It's really. Hopelessness is probably another word for discouragement that there's no hope, that nothing's going to change, that I can't do any better than I've done. Proverbs 13:12 tells us hope deferred makes the heart sick. And you can look at that hope deferred like disappointment, right? The thing that I was hoping for didn't happen. So there's this overwhelming sense of hopelessness over our lives. Even if it's just over one situation, it's really easy to get discouraged over that thing and allow that to seep into everything else. And we have this, like you said, belief system of hopelessness. And sometimes it can be one thing that triggers. You're like, it's not an. It's not all these things. It's just this one thing happened. And now I just feel super discouraged. But really what it's doing, it's triggering that belief system. And I've experienced, experienced this in my life where I've had some health struggles over the last 10 years. And at first I tend, I have always tended, generally tended to be a more hopeful person. Like, it's going to be okay, it's going to work out, God's going to move. And so that's kind of how I approached it at first. But after a while it started to feel really heavy. And there was definitely that sense of hope deferred where, you know, I wasn't getting better, things weren't improving, and I felt stuck. And so when I did start to come out of kind of the first round of health issues, I started to see there is hope. And I started to feel like, okay, we can do this. And then I would have a flare up and it was like immediate discouragement where I could feel it. You know, the first when I would wake up in the morning with just really high inflammation or pain in my neck or my shoulders and I would be like, is like all that hope just got completely blown out the water. And now I'm back and I'm discouraged and this sucks. And so for me, it has been this triggering point. But I've actually learned to recognize it and begin to deal with it in a more. In a healthier way where I can see, I see your discouragement, and I'm not letting you take me out. There is hope for me, There is hope for my health, and God is going to do something. And so I can start to come out of that discouragement more quickly than I used to. So that's one of the reasons that we love working with our coaching clients, is because we can help them develop strategies and recognize these patterns in their lives. Where we can say, this is what these are the words you're saying. You're telling me this thing happened that created this feeling, but actually, let's dig into that belief system that's making you feel that way. I love that. Wendy Backland teaches that you can know what you're actually believing by the emotions that you're experiencing. That's not exactly how she says it, but that's the gist of it. That when you're having a reaction, an emotional reaction to something, you might respond in a way that says, God isn't gonna come through for me, but you know that God will. Like, clearly you're believing differently than you think. You know, right? Like you have mental ascent to a truth in scripture, but your belief system underneath it is not grounded in that truth. And so we love to take our coaching clients deep and dig into those belief systems. When you're having a feeling, why are you having that feeling? Let's talk to the Holy Spirit about it. Let's encounter the Lord and ask him about this emotion, this pain, this discouragement. Why are we stuck here? And we love to help you get unstuck, to get out of the discouragement, to get out of the disappointment, get out of the despair, and to really walk in lasting breakthrough. We want to help people align their beliefs with the truth of God's word. And so you can find out more about our coaching program at joshandkarina.com coaching j-o s h a N-C-O-R-I-N a.com coaching we would love to meet with you and to help you get unstuck and undiscouraged, also known as encouraged.
• 6:33
  Speaker A: You're a powerful person. Choose to not stay stuck in discouragement. I chose to stay stuck for way too long. But you can choose today to get unstuck. Go to our website. You can schedule right on there. You can pick a time that works for you. Schedule an hour with us. It's simple. We can help you get unstuck and get momentum to move forward in your life and to move out of discouragement.
• 6:54
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 6:54
  Speaker A: So here's a few tips that we have for just getting out of discouragement that have helped both of us along the way. The first one is to take care of yourself. So many times when we're discouraged, we like to sit on the couch and watch Netflix.
• 7:09
  Speaker B: Eat a whole bag of cookies.
• 7:10
  Speaker A: Eat a whole bag of cookies, A bag of cheese puffs, whatever it is. And so it just kind of. We're stuck in a spot where we can't get out.
• 7:20
  Speaker B: So physical reality starts to mimic your emotional state. Right. Like you're. You start to do on the outside how you feel on the inside of just stuckness.
• 7:30
  Speaker A: Yeah. So choose to take care of yourself. Eat some healthy food, go for a balanced diet, get some exercise. We're not even talking about going to the gym or doing anything crazy. Just go for a walk.
• 7:40
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 7:41
  Speaker A: Get outside. Outside. Get some vitamin D from the sun. Like that really can help improve your mood. If you live in the Pacific Northwest, where some of my family does, and it's raining and cloudy all the time, figure out a way. Get one of those lamps that shines the nice bright sunshine on you. Those are all things that God has given us to help improve our mood. And science backs it up left and right, that if we take care of our bodies, it's going to improve our mental health as well. Don't sit around just thinking about how awful your life is and how discouraged and it's just never going to get better. Do something and be gentle to yourself. Just go for a nice calming walk with the Lord and invite him to go along with you.
• 8:21
  Speaker B: Well, and I think it's. It's important to recognize that this is a hard time. If you are stuck in discouragement, if you feel overwhelmed, overwhelming despair. It's important that you don't expect yourself to just jump up and do all the things. We don't expect you to jump up and do all the things, but do one thing. Do one small thing. Like eat a carrot. Walk to the mailbox. Right. Like do. Do one thing and then celebrate that you did that thing. Like I ate a healthy meal. Instead of going through the drive through one more time, I chose to make myself a sandwich and. And sit in the sunshine. It doesn't have to be this whole overhaul because it's not, it's not a one and done sort of situation. It's something where you have to kind of begin to dig out. And I love the verse in the Psalms that says, he pulled my feet out of the miry clay. That's what this is. He is pulling you out of that miry clay. He's pulling you out of the mud that has held onto you. Your feet are going to be set on a rock. But it takes a process. And so give yourself grace in that process.
• 9:25
  Speaker A: Right now I just sense the Lord giving you grace to make a healthy decision for yourself, even if it's a small one.
• 9:31
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 9:32
  Speaker A: And I love to even set the timer. Yeah.
• 9:34
  Speaker B: So valuable.
• 9:35
  Speaker A: I'm going to do something healthy for myself for five minutes. You can do anything for five minutes. I can go for a walk for five minutes or set a goal of, okay, this week I'm going to not eat a bag of cookies, you know.
• 9:47
  Speaker B: Or I can eat vegetables for five minutes.
• 9:49
  Speaker A: I can eat one vegetable a day. You know, whatever. Whatever it is. Make a small change. And then I love that. Karina said, celebrate what you've done because you are moving forward. And as you move forward, you're going to gain momentum and the Lord is going to come behind you. He's pushing you from behind you. You have a tailwind that's pushing you forward to just get really healthy. So another thing that is important to get out of discouragement is to connect with other encouraging believers. Isolation is definitely our enemy. But I know when you're feeling real discouraged, the last thing you want to do is go talk to somebody or go somewhere, hang out. Yeah. It's just much easier to stay at home and in your bathrobe or with your fuzzy blanket, watching TV or scrolling through social media. Those things which are actually pretty damaging to us. Yeah. But make the choice to meet with somebody. That's encouraging. And that's the other thing. You don't want to go hang out with your other discouraged buddies because you're all just going to get more depressed.
• 10:50
  Speaker B: Right.
• 10:50
  Speaker A: From talking to about how bad life is. But find somebody that is full of hope. Spend some time with them. Get coffee with somebody like that. Talk to your pastor, who's going to encourage you. Talk to a friend that's gotten out of discouragement. But it's so important to bring light to your feelings.
• 11:07
  Speaker B: For sure.
• 11:08
  Speaker A: Bring it out into the open and say, look, this is what I'm experiencing. I just feel super stuck in discouragement and I'm not sure how to get out. I need help. And when we bring those thoughts, those feelings into the light, it disempowers the thoughts, the lies of the enemy that are behind that Stronghold. And it begins that process of breaking them down. That's how we do it. We just bring it out into the light. And then we. We ask the Lord to breathe truth on it. And that will destroy that stronghold of discouragement.
• 11:40
  Speaker B: Yeah, that's so good. And spend some time with God. This can feel hard when you're discouraged because you really just want to sit and complain. But we know that in Philippians 4, 6 and 7, it gives us that strategy of presenting our request to God with thanksgiving and rejoicing in Him. And so when you're discouraged, you can lift that discouragement to him with thanksgiving. God, thank you that this problem is not bigger than you. Even if that's all you can do, is to say, I know that you're bigger than this. You're choosing to worship. You're choosing to put him. Put your situation in light of who he is. And when we spend time with him, when we pray, when we read our word, when we worship, we are putting God before the problem. And that can often just begin to. To break down and tear away at that stronghold. Psalm 42:11. I love that the psalmist brought his discouragement before the Lord. Why my soul are you downcast? Why are you so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. So we see how he brings his discouragement, but then he reminds himself that God is the one who holds my hope. He is the only one that is worthy of my praise and my hope and my trust. And so when you begin to remember who God is, then that will begin to put that discouragement, the situation that you're discouraged over, in the true light of who he is, and kind of maybe put it in. Put it in its place.
• 13:10
  Speaker A: Yeah, I love to just put on some worship music. And don't put on depressing worship music. Find the stuff that's. That is speaking to your soul, that is going to encourage you, bring hope to you, even ask the Lord, what will you. Put a song in my head, put a song in my heart for this, this season that I need. And the Lord has been doing that for me. I've woken up in the middle of the night singing songs that were not on my mind or I don't ever think about. And it's just him really speaking to me. He can speak to us through a song and then just live in that song. Put it on something that is going to encourage you, give hope to you, allow that just to minister to your soul, spend time in his presence, allow him to speak truth into your situation. And that's where we find everything that we need. It's all found in his presence.
• 14:00
  Speaker B: And another thing that you can do too, is just open the word, open the psalms, and begin to read until one begins, one resonates with you. And then stay there and read about God's faithfulness. Remember his goodness, and remember what he's done for you. And that's. Our next point, is to remember the faithfulness of God.
• 14:19
  Speaker A: God, yeah, there's. It's so important for us to go back and rehearse the things that he's done in our life. We all have a testimony. If you're a believer, you've been saved. You have a testimony of what God has done in your life, how he moved powerfully to bring you out of darkness and into light. And so think about that. Write down your testimony. Remember all the different times throughout your life where God has shown up and has been faithful to you. Because that's the testimony of Jesus. What he's done in your life, that will break through. Because if God did it before, he'll do it again. He's done it for somebody else. He'll do it for you. So remember the testimonies. Record them of what God has done. Listen to testimonies of other people. Ask a friend, what has God done in your life? And you can even write that down and say, okay, that's their testimony. I can claim that too. For me, God did that for my friend. He'll certainly do it for me. And rehearse those. That faithfulness of God is so powerful to break us out of that pattern of God's not doing anything. When we choose to focus on what he is doing and what he has done, it changes our perspective. Actually, God's doing a lot of stuff. He's actually moving very powerfully. And he's moved powerfully in my life before. He's going to do it again. I'm not stuck. That's not the way God wants me to think. Remember his faithfulness.
• 15:33
  Speaker B: Revelation 19:10 tells us that the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy. And so when you hang on to those testimonies, when you rehearse the testimony, actually prophesying into your own life, into your situation, about what God will do. So if he healed somebody else, he will heal you. Because that testimony is actually the prophetic spirit going forward to accomplish the thing that God has already done. That's why Josh said, if he did it in somebody else, he can do it for you. He will do it for you, because that is his testimony. So you can even go to the Word. If you need healing, you can find scriptures where Jesus healed somebody. If you need comfort, you can find scriptures about comfort and prophesy into your own life. The testimony of Jesus, what he has done and what he will do for you.
• 16:20
  Speaker A: Yeah. Psalm 77, 11, and 12. It says, I will remember the works of the Lord. Surely I will remember your wonders of old. I will also meditate on all your work and talk of your deeds. That I love that. That's beautiful. Remembering the works of the Lord, his wonders of old, meditating on everything that he's done. If that doesn't get you fired up with hope and out of discouragement, that's. That's really God's prescription. Doctor, God speaking to us. He says, I've done it before. I'm still faithful. I haven't changed.
• 16:53
  Speaker B: Yes. And those are the kind of songs you want to be listening to, the ones that are declaring his faithfulness. The ones that are saying he will do it again. The ones that are saying, look what he's done. Look where he's taking us. Those are the kinds of worship songs you want to be putting on, the ones that are going to encourage your spirit. There are ones that will carry on about the problem before you get to the solution. And we want to go straight to that solution. What is it that God's doing when you're in this place? Those songs are important. The words that you're listening to are feeding your soul. So make sure that you're feeding them good food.
• 17:26
  Speaker A: So those are just a few things you can do to get out of discouragement. Let's talk about how we stay encouraged.
• 17:31
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 17:32
  Speaker A: And I love. Karina actually said this. I love what she said. It's just like taking your medicine. So the doctor gives you the antibiotic. You start feeling better after a few days, and you say, I'm not. I don't have anything. Have to take the rest of those, you know, but you really have to finish that prescription to really kill that infection. So it's the same thing with discouragements we'll get. We have an encounter with the Lord, or he shows up real powerfully, and we're like, I'm all better. And then next couple days later, we're back to discourage. So it's something that we actually have to practice in our lives, set up things. Whatever got us out of discouragement, continue to do those things. Make it a practice in your life so that you stay encouraged.
• 18:10
  Speaker B: Yeah, I think it's Important that you're forming new healthy habits and new healthy thought patterns around this area that you have been set free from or that you have come away from. Because as, as we know, we all know, like this situation that Josh just described, we start to feel a little bit better and then we go back to the habits that we had before, right? So then we go back to sitting in front of the TV mindlessly for hours, or scrolling on social media or eating a bunch of junk food, or we just go, we, we tend to go back to where we were. And then we wonder why we're stuck again where we started. And so we have to not just do the things to get us out, we have to continue to do those things to keep us out. And so continue to eat healthy, continue to exercise, continue to read your word, continue to meet with other believers, continue to remind yourself of God's faithfulness and rehearse the testimonies that, that have brought you to the place where you have found freedom.
• 19:06
  Speaker A: In 1st Samuel 30, verse 6, it says that David encouraged himself in the Lord. Some versions say David strengthened himself in the Lord. It's the same thing. David, there's bad things happening in his life. His men were actually after him. They were going to stone him, they were going to kill him. And what did David do? He turned to the Lord and he strengthened himself. He encouraged himself. He said, even though evil men are after me, I'm going to believe in God. And he continued. He did those things that encouraged him before. He did those things that gave him strength. And it's just what we're talking about, continuing to do those things that got you unstuck, those will keep you encouraged. And actually you're gonna go beyond discouragement into abounding hope.
• 19:46
  Speaker B: Yeah, that's so good. And you wanna recognize the patterns. Like I was talking about earlier, about my health issues when I recognized, oh, every time I have a flare up, I feel discouragement or depression starting to take hold. I recognized, well, what am I thinking about when this happens? Oh, well, I'm thinking I'm going to be stuck here. I'm thinking my family's going to have to take care of me for the rest of my life and I'm not going to be able to take care of myself. I'm going down these spiraling rabbit holes of negative thoughts. And so I had to recognize those thought patterns in order to overcome them. So sometimes at first that will feel not as easy. It'll feel difficult. Like I've been stuck here for a month now. You but then the next time it's like it's only two weeks or it's only a week and a half and it gets less and less. The better you get at recognizing and stopping those old patterns. But it's also things like we just talked about those old habits. The social media, maybe the people that you're hanging around with are negative and always talking about the how the world's going to hell. And this is you're in. You put yourself in situations that are discouraging or depleting you. Social media, fun as it is, can be one of those places where you see all the pretty people and you just, you compare, right? You compare other people's highlight reels to your everyday. You know, you see this family or this person and every time you see them, it just makes you feel bad about yourself. Unfollow. Can I give you some advice? Okay. You can come to coaching and I will tell you. Unfollow. Those people are showing you the highlights. They're not showing you their real life. So don't put yourself in those positions where you are going to be discouraged. And you know you're going to be discouraged. Right? We got to recognize those patterns. Like I like following people who go on fancy vacations because it just seems so fun and I want to live vicariously, but every time I put my phone down I feel like, gosh, my life sucks and I just could never do something like that and I have to go camping and that totally sucks. Right? Stop following them. Stop looking at those things. It's like, what is that show? That old show, the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. Right, like where, like just watching other people have these great experiences or whatever it might be, but we're never really seeing behind the curtain. And so appreciate where you are. But don't put yourself in a situation where you are comparing and just feeling so depleted and discouraged every time you're in that situation. Just don't do that anymore.
• 22:05
  Speaker A: Yeah. And gratitude is so huge to just be thankful for what you have, what God's provided, what he's doing. Again, it's a focus shift. I'm not focused on what's not happening. Focusing on what God is doing, how he's met all of my needs and so much more. I have so many blessings. And stop that comparison trap that's never going to help you. And make sure that you're getting filled up. You know, be involved at your church, be part of the body, be serving people. Serving others is a huge way to get out of discouragement and just continue. You're like, we want to be. We don't want to be a lake. We want to be a river. We're getting filled up and we're pouring out to other people. That is huge sometimes, just getting out. And you know what? I'm going to serve some people today. I'm going to volunteer at the homeless shelter, serve meals, whatever it is that you can do sometimes that is just so powerful to break us out of a negative cycle.
• 23:00
  Speaker B: Remember that it takes about 63 days to form new habits and thought patterns. So don't give up, keep going and keep doing the things that you need to do to get out of discouragement, to stay out of discouragement. So just like we said, if you gotta take your medicine, you gotta take it for 63 days. Okay? So don't. If you start. If you eat that carrot and you feel really empowered and your life turns around and the sun starts to shine, don't stop eating the carrots, right? You want to keep going, keep doing those things. Eat two carrots, go walk for 10 minutes. Do the things that, that are bringing health and reviving your body view. Spend five minutes in scripture, and that encourages you. Spend 10 minutes in scripture, stay in his presence until you feel filled up and ready to go, and then keep doing those things. Take your next 63 days. If that feels too big, you know, 10, five days or 10 days, and just give yourself. This week, I'm going to do one thing that promotes my health and encourages my heart. Listen to encouraging podcasts like Believe and Become. Listen to encouraging and uplifting music. Do something for your, your soul that is going to feed you, and then continue to do those things over and over and over.
• 24:15
  Speaker A: I know that when I was discouraged, if someone told me it would take 63 days, I would say, well, it's.
• 24:21
  Speaker B: Never going to happen.
• 24:21
  Speaker A: It's never going to happen. So don't be discouraged.
• 24:24
  Speaker B: Don't think about it.
• 24:25
  Speaker A: 63. What we're trying to tell you is that you can break that into three sets of 21 days or just start with a week. Just start with a week or a day. You know, break it down. You can do this because again, you're not doing this on your own. God is giving you his strength to change. Rely on him and follow his leading. Ask him, God, what is one thing I can do today to get out of discouragement? Do that thing. And then continue to do that. Ask him, what's the next thing? And the most important thing is to never stop starting. So even if you Miss a day or you miss a week, whatever it is, get back up and say, you know what, I'm going to start again. I'm starting again today because it's that important. God has incredible things for you. He has an abundant life that he paid for and he wants you to live that. But we have to choose to start moving forward and not staying stuck. And then all along the way, celebrate yourself. I ate that carrot.
• 25:20
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 25:21
  Speaker A: Go me. I'm so proud. Woo. I'm excited. I ate a carrot, I got out, I went for a walk for five minutes.
• 25:27
  Speaker B: High five me.
• 25:28
  Speaker A: High five me. Do a little happy dance. Yes. All of that celebration is going to cause a positive reinforcement in your brain. You're going to continue to do it. We actually have a habit tracker that we'll make available in the show. Notes where you can write down, okay, today I'm gonna read my Bible. Today I'm gonna go for a walk and just put those things on the counter, you can check em off. And then you start to build momentum. I actually did this for three days in a row. That's a pattern.
• 25:56
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 25:57
  Speaker A: Now I've done it for a week and then pretty soon you've checked off your three sets of 21 days and you have a new pattern that you've formed in your life.
• 26:05
  Speaker B: Yeah. And so remember just these simple things. Take care of yourself, connect with encouraging believers, spend time with God and remember his faithfulness. If you could just take one of those things, add it to your habit tracker this week and then next week add another one and the next week add another one. Soon discouragement will be so far in the past you won't even recognize who you've become because you have developed these new healthy habits that have brought you to a new place. Really supported by the Father pulling you out of that miry sticky clay and setting your feet on the solid rock that is a firm foundation of Jesus. So thank you so much for listening and for spending time with us today. We hope that you walk away from this feeling encouraged, giggling a little bit every time you go to eat some vegetables. Because really nobody likes to eat vegetables. I mean, some people do, but they're not me. So we hope that you feel a little bit encouraged and that you can walk away from this episode with some really tangible things that you can apply to your life today. Just one thing that you can do today to move towards being the person that God created you to be. He didn't create you to be discouraged. He did not create you to walk in despair. That second half of Proverbs 13 the first half of hope deferred makes the heart sick, but that second half says a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. When you begin to allow God to fulfill these places in you, it takes root and becomes a tree of life in you. So as you take care of yourself and connect with others and spend time with God, you're watering that tree of life and you're building and creating and and you're growing something new and beautiful. And the Lord has such good things for you. So we just bless you today. Thanks for tuning in and we'll catch you next time. Hey friend. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. If so, would you take 30 seconds to share this podcast with someone who may need encouragement or practical tools for fighting their battle?
• 28:04
  Speaker A: Then rate and review this podcast. Help us spread the message of transformation far and wide.
• 28:09
  Speaker B: All right, time to walk back into the noise with peace, purpose and maybe a tiny bit of guffing.
• 28:15
  Speaker A: We'll meet you back next Thursday for another episode.
• 28:18
  Speaker B: Bye.