Latest / Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild / The Simple Tool That Gave Me My Voice Back

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The Simple Tool That Gave Me My Voice Back · Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is Get It Got It Girl.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: This is episode 10.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: And this is about something that changed my life.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: How did it start?
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: The tool that changed my life.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's a tool that gave me my voice back.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: It allowed me to have clarity.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: It gave me myself back.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: It was truth.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: It was raw.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: It was a raw moment with myself that I had no idea was going to turn into this tool.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Something that would change my life.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Something I want to share with you.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: It was that life-changing.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: In this episode, I'm finally going to name it.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's called Mirror Back.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's the tool, it's the tool that changed everything.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Everything for me.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I'll set the scene.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: I know a lot of us cry in private.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Those moments that are so tough that I don't know, maybe you just need to be alone to get it out.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I know people who cry in the shower.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: People who cry in their car.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And by all means, I'm not a therapist.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is just something that personally worked for me.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you are in serious trouble, please, please get some help.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be embarrassed.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Just reach out.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I will start with 11 months ago I left a narcissistic pattern of 36 years going out with the same type of guy.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And at the time I finally went to counseling.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying bad things about counselors.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: My particular counselor, I was sharing how I felt, and I was being raw because I wanted to get the real healing.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's like when you go to the doctor and you don't tell them everything that's wrong.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I told her what was wrong, and she asked me, Do you still love him?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I paused for a minute because I felt like she wanted me to say no.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, no, for this to help me, I need to be honest.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I said yes.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And her face was shocked.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: She even, her mouth dropped.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Period.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm not gonna say anything bad about a therapist.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: This just was not a good experience for me because it made me feel like, oh no, now I need to, I need to, I need to bite, you know, tighten this up and not be honest and say what everybody wants to hear.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and later I did get a good counselor.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I had the one of the best counselors, and I was embarrassed to go get counseling, but I knew I couldn't do it alone anymore.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so happy I went and I'm so grateful for her, and I'm grateful that I took the step.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so back to Mirrorback.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I'm calling it.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: I will write a book, I will spread the word.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: If this helps you, spread the word.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this helps you, like it helped me.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I'm gonna set the scene.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: I was having a rough day.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I don't particularly remember what it was, probably maybe three to four months into the breakup.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I was so sad.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't want to tell anybody how sad I was and what I was really feeling, so I recorded it to myself.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I make recordings to share them.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I can't share them because they're just not only just personal, but they're just so brutal.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I shared with myself where I was at.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I know I was having a very hard time.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: I was crying in the car, I was upset, and I felt lost, I felt scared.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was glad to be away from the toxic patterns, and that's definitely what I'm helping with people.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I recorded it like I normally would.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: This one was so raw with myself.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: I told myself exactly what I was feeling, exactly what I was going through.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: I did not sugarcoat it.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like telling it, and I'm crying, and I'm just like talking to it.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, well, maybe this will just help, just to get it out there.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was deciding if I was gonna put it on air, and I didn't.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm listening to it, and I found myself talking back, and that's how I came up with Mirror back.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm playing the video, I'm talking to myself, and I am talking so differently than I normally talk to myself in my head at that point.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Now I've learned to do more positive talking, and I'm like, okay, it's gonna be okay.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very compassionate, I'm very empathetic, and to myself, I wasn't being that way.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I talked to myself, the mirror back, as if I was talking to a a good friend, maybe my daughter, somebody I love, like my sister.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: I just talked with compassionate care.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: It was nothing like how I talked to myself at the time.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'd be like, okay, that's silly, that's stupid.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know you can't feel this way.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's nope, you're not supposed to feel that way.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: You're supposed to be over it, you're healed.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: And from that moment, I realized I had something powerful, something that would help me, and that's what I would do.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I started recording videos sometimes to myself during different moments, and I still do today.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been very helpful because uh it made me realize you need to be gentle to yourself.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I take accountability for my role in this, and that's what I'm really working on right now.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: But there was a moment when I needed to hear that, and so I really think this is a very, very good tool for you.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: It was for me.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: It changed my life.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: It gave me my voice back.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Telling you this, reliving the story, telling you the tool takes me right back there.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: But this time's different.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: I've healed a lot since then.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: I've come a long way.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Do I still talk better to myself?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Perfect?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: But this is just a gentle reminder that you do deserve better.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: You deserve everything that you want.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: So please, when you're being hard on yourself, don't forget to be easy on yourself.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Be compassionate, be real.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how I learned to not apologize anymore.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Now I know my own truth.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I knew my own truth before I was just afraid to meet the truth.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, once I let myself meet the truth, I could help myself.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's like if you go to the doctor, like you said, you go to the doctor and you're like, oh yeah, I'm fine, but maybe, maybe you have like this splitting headache, and you don't tell them.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: So he's like, okay, so you're doing good, we'll see you later, you know, and you're out the door, and you get home and you have this bad headache.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you didn't say what was wrong.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: So how can you fix it or improve it?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, everybody.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Stay tuned.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And don't forget to try the mirror back exercise.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: There's no shame in how you feel.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, I'm Get It Got It Girl.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Your transformational coach, emotional intelligence strategist, and I'm here to give you some tools to break the pattern.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Until next week.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: A wonderful week.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: If this does help you, please spread it to your friends.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Please share my podcast so I know that I'm helping people.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you.