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Are You Judging Your Spouse With Teenage Stereotypes? · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for September 30, 2026 Are you judging your spouse with teenage stereotypes?
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  I was recently on a message board with a fellow who had a very narrow and very
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  negative understanding of Christians.
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  Several people posted evidence-based information to help him see that there
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  was more to it, but he rejected every attempt.
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  He had an assumption, and he was not going to allow facts to change his view.
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  Most of us have biases and assumptions about the opposite sex.
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  You hear it all the time in phrases like, men only want, and all the women are.
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  The fact that most men are a certain way does not mean your husband is.
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  And the fact that many women feel a certain way doesn't mean your wife does.
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  Most of our gender assumptions go back to before we were married.
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  Some came from our parents.
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  Others we got from our friends growing up. Media can also play a part.
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  Some of what you have accepted you would reject if it were given to you for
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  the first time now as an adult.
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  When you were young, you were looking for understanding and often accepted what
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  seemed like knowledge without betting it.
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  You had less experience to help you see other possibilities and possibly peer pressure.
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  Once those assumptions were made, they got locked away. We continue to think
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  such things are valid, even though they were based on no real evidence.
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  Beyond that, what might have been true for most teenage boys may not be true
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  for adult men, likewise for teenage girls and women.
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  Challenging our assumptions is difficult because they are such an integral part
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  of our thinking. It's like a mathematical constant we learn and don't question.
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  One indication you have some wrong assumptions would be regular confusion or
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  frustration between you and your spouse.
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  Perhaps one of you is working with an understanding that it is no longer true.
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  Anytime you have a disagreement, it's wise to check your assumptions if you
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  haven't done so recently.
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  We can also wrongly assume our spouse is okay with or willing to put up with something.
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  Or perhaps that was true in the past, but isn't now. Or it's not true under
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  specific circumstances.
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  We can also wrongly assume our spouse is okay with or willing to put up with something.
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  Living well with your spouse requires having the right information.
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  Loving your spouse also requires the right information.
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  Limit assumptions and check them regularly. This is Paul, and working with wrong
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  ideas gets in the way of doing marriage well.