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Episode 80: Meditation Isn't The Answer · Heal Yourself Podcast

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Denise, a speech language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we're here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind, and soul.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: From the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma, and even transforming your money story.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: We're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: So whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally, or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Or another window.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be a door.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, maybe a side door, back door.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: It can be a window.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean, I've expressed the issues going on, right?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Denise is just laughing.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm laughing because I can hear your husband in the background.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh guys, this is what we get.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have an office.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Is he having a meeting?
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: He's talking to an attorney right now.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: About our house situation.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Ah, there we go.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: We need to have this phone call definitely.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: He needs to have the conversation, but unfortunately, it's like we don't have an office.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have anywhere else to go.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: So it's fine.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: We're winging it.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I mean, this kind of goes back to that.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like I finally got a nice little walk-in and message Denise.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, let's talk about it.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: When one door closes, another one opens, because I think it is so easy to have like those singular glasses or rose-colored glasses or whatever we want to say of like, oh my gosh, this thing, this relationship ended, my finances crashed, this job ended, um, my house, I wanted to live in this house, right?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's where I was at.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: But we're not seeing the big picture.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: We're just like, again, we've got like these blinders on, and all we see is, oh, this thing happened, and I was so happy with this thing, and now this other thing might not be as good.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: But what if?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: What if miracles happened?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: What if another door, another 10 doors, another 20 doors open, and you have all these amazing possibilities?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: You are not opening yourself up to them if all you're focused on is, oh, but this door just closed.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to add to what you're saying that it doesn't have to open the next door, the second door, the window, or whatever.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's not opening right away.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: It could open right away, but it could open in a month and two and in a year.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes like it's um, you know, rushing.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: We are rushing, like, when is it gonna open?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: This one door closed.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: We just gotta like really, you know, trust and surrender the process.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And just like how we talked about the obstacles and the opportunities.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: We talked about obstacles being learning opportunities, same thing.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so many people, if you read their stories or if you listen to their stories, or they just said, Oh my goodness, I got fired, but that was the best thing that ever happened to me.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because if I didn't get fired, I wouldn't have started this business, right?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Or if if uh and I I mean, I don't know, correct me if I'm wrong, Kira, but I feel sometimes when we don't listen to the whispers, something thing, something really big happens.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: So we are forced to leave the one door and then look at the other door or the other window or the other whatever, because we were constantly making excuses while we're not opening that second door or that third door.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I hear like there's a third door as well that we are refusing to look at.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, a hundred percent.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't know if I shared this maybe, and it was a long time ago, so I'll share it again because it's relevant.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: But years ago when we were living in Vegas, my husband kind of woke up with a dream and was like, I don't know, I feel like we're supposed to leave Vegas.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, What?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: I like Vegas, I'm happy, I have friends, like it feels good.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but he was starting to listen to that whisper, and I trusted that whisper, intuition, whatever we want to call it.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then we were starting to look at homes in Boise because we thought that's where we want to go.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's where our 3D minds took us.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we want to go to Boise, and then the house wasn't selling.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, this makes no sense.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Every house around us is selling, and ours is nicer, like truly.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when I woke up and said, What if we're not supposed to go to Boise?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: What if we're not listening to the whispers?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: We talked about Austin 10 years ago, and I had never been, he had never been, neither of us had ever visited Austin.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, okay, I'm throwing this out.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: If somebody offers, makes an offer on our house in the next 24 hours, we're supposed to go to Austin, and we got three offers.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: Had we not listened to that, right?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: I did not, I was not ready to close that chapter, but I knew it was time.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: And just like we got here and my job ended, right?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: The contract I had for seven and a half years, my doctor was like, we're done.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: And my husband lost his job within a month.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: Anyone else would have freaked out.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Those were the biggest blessings for us.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: They really absolutely.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you just don't know.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's so many opportunities, but like you said, you don't know it right then.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't, I didn't know it in that moment.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, I complained to you for a long time.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Why isn't my business growing?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking at all these colleagues and they're doing amazing, and I know I must not know enough.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: So let me get another training and work with another coach.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: And right now, in this moment, with everything that has happened in this last year, I couldn't have done it.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: I needed this time.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: There's no way.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: And again, you don't see it right away, right?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: However, sometimes when you look back, so all right, right now, you telling the story, it sounds like the puzzle pieces fitting.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: I was interviewed on a I was interviewed on a speech therapy podcast, and then you know, they ask you like, how did you start your business and things, and and I'm not gonna go into details here, but the way, and I would like stop myself during the interview and be like, oh my goodness, like I didn't see it then, but now that I'm repeating it and telling it to you, it feels that like all the puzzle pieces are fitting.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: But when I was going through them, I couldn't see it, but I surrendered, right?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't grasp and grip to the I was like, you know what?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: It is what it will happen when it needs to happen, whatever needs to happen.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And and I stayed open because I was really determined to opening a clinic, but the route led me to not just to being a mobile, and that's what I'm wanting flexibility, and I love it.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Had I opened a clinic, I probably would have been way more stressed out about it, like you know, just having a clinic, having a space, and now I feel so good about not having a clinic, you know what I mean?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: So that one that's one example, but you don't see it then because you're in it, but during then though, the surrender and letting um letting go a little bit, like letting go of that grip is good because you are gonna see later.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Once you start looking back, you're like, oh, they're fitting.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's what the story or the pieces led me to.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: And that was the greater thing, but we can't get to that greater thing if we're holding on so tight to whatever that door was.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I also want to say here for people who are like, you know, what about a relationship I'm in that's not serving me?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, is that door supposed to close?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I want to differentiate here.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: If you are unhappy and you're unhappy in whatever the situation is, the finances, the relationship, the career, don't like when we say surrender, we don't mean just like roll over and die, right?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there's a doubt, a balance.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Do you get what I'm saying?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: Denise is laughing, but there's a balance, right?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: If you're unhappy, yes, in in this situation for me, I've been unhappy, but like I am taking action to do things.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: You still have to take action, you can't just be like, I surrender and just like lay down for the next six months and hope that another door opens.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like you gotta take action, right?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, and I I'm laughing because I was under that misconception of surrendering is not doing anything.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I'm like, okay, I'm surrendering, I'm doing, I'm sitting on my couch and reading books and meditating, and then but then I was like, wait a minute, nothing's happening.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: It is the the action.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: I know some people call it an inspired action.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: I would like to twist it and say, because when you are sometimes in the thick of things, you're not inspired.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I wasn't inspired to look for a new it is the uncomfortable action.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's the one that you're like, ooh, it makes me uncomfortable.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Guess what?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: That is the one.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know what I mean?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of the times you're not inspired, but you take that uncomfortable action and you're like, okay.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Thank goodness I did it.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah you know what I'm trying to say?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: So it is just it is truly in the it's not like, and again, like I was really under the whole misconception of you know meditating and mindfulness and stuff like that.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: These are all great, however, they're they don't do you any good if you are not taking that next step.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: No, I agree, and this is where because I I reveal the other day about go ahead.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, it was breaking up.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't hear you.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Keep going.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: Your turn.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: I shut up.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's fine, keep going.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: No, I was just gonna say, like, looking for a house, I was not inspired, right?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't want to leave my current one, but I did it.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: And even looking back at the job situation where I had the error was I was let go and I was like, oh my gosh, I gotta do all these things.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I was taking the action, but in the wrong way of trying to force something rather than that surrender piece was kind of missing, if that makes sense.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: So there's that delicate balance of yes, you gotta surrender the situation that's happening, but you still have to take some action.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, like taking the action, but not constantly, like also um, you know, like, okay, when is it gonna happen?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: When is it gonna happen?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: When is it gonna happen?
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's that's where the surrender comes in.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe we need to kind of like have an episode about that, like to kind of like maybe dig deeper and differentiating.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: But I was just talking about, I was saying before we cut each other off, um, I was saying something like I recorded a reel on our podcast Instagram about, you know, like um when people go to therapy or like when I go to therapy, and then it's talk therapy, which is great.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Talk therapy is great, I definitely like it.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: However, but if you are not taking the action that the therapist or the professional is telling you to do, or whatever they are, and usually those actions are uncomfortable, they're not comfortable because you're you're wanting a change, right?
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, and if you're not doing those, and this is just a gossip session, yeah, you know, so it is important to take this, they to take this uncomfortable and right now I am I go to the discomfort, yeah, I follow it on purpose.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's where the growth happens.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: The other thing I do want to say about this is going back to the door closing, right?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: We've talked about surrendering, but also taking the uncomfortable action.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's also important to grieve.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like it goes back to episode five when we talk about emotions.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: You need to grieve some of these things, right?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: As cheesy as it is, I had to grieve the loss of the house.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: Of like, I wasn't ready to move, I wasn't ready to leave the neighborhood.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't want this to happen.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: I miss my walks.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I told you yesterday, I messaged Denise on WhatsApp.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, drove back to the neighborhood and I took a walk.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: I took the walk that I used to take every single day, and it felt so good, but it felt like I was also grieving.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta do that, you gotta get the emotions out.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, yes.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Feel them, go through them.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and there are energy in motion.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Don't suppress them and don't deny yourself that.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I really love what you said.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even though you are at peace with the move, sure, you're not happy, you may not be happy, but you are at peace with it and you're seeing it as an opportunity, etc.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: etc.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I know maybe in a few months you're gonna see the bigger picture.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: I have I get that.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: However, I really love also what you said is that I'm allowing myself to grieve the picture that I had in my mind, but I'm not dwelling, you're not dwelling over it.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: You're not hearing tears cry.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you could have cried, you know, I'm not saying that, but like you are also allowing that, you know what?
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I'm grieving.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted something different.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: However, I'm open to that new door, I'm open to that new window that's opening up for me.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, and that's where you know, also experiencing all of those emotions and not being in denial.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're not, oh, you're not saying, you're not spiritually bypassing and saying, Oh, the door, the new door's opening, everything's gonna be great.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Blah, blah, blah.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: No, you took a moment, then you're like, you know what, dude, I missed this and I am going to miss this.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it sucks, but guess what?
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: I get to grieve it and I get to experience the new thing right now.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's where sometimes there is that fine line between pretending that you're happy because a new door's opening it.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know, make does that make sense?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, or even staying in grief too long of like, oh my gosh, this thing happened, this relationship ended, this job ended.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: Gre you know, go through the grief, but then move through it.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Move on eventually.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: Don't stay there for three more months.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right, because that's where you're going into the victimhood, where it's like, oh woo me, woo me.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, you know what?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're not the only you're not the only one.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're not the only one that was diagnosed with this.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: You're not the only one that left the relationship, you're not the only one that left the house, you're not the only one.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Just like move on, let's let those emotions go through and set a time, whatever.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: And and then they they may creep up on you, like you, Kira, for example, like six months from now, you may be in a home and you're like, oh, you know, I love the walks here, but I also miss the other home, and that's okay.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: But you're not like you know, being you're not obsessing over them and constantly about it or whatever it is, but that's where optional fizz in as well.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like yeah, I agree.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: So feel the grief, feel the emotions, don't get stuck in them.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you said something too, and my husband kept saying this, it could have been worse, it could always be worse, and so that's where the gratitude sneaks back into of like, I'm thankful that we had the means to do this, I'm thankful we're able to do this, I'm thankful that you know, just reminding ourselves.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, absolutely, and then exactly like we tend to think of the worst case scenario.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't why don't we think of the best case scenario?
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, and yeah, and I mean I don't know, I think your action step I feel that wherever area it is in your life, whatever this uncomfortable action that's been calling you, because you know what it is, and it's been calling you um entertain the idea of actually doing it.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you don't want to do it yet, because some some actions can be harder than others, but entertain that idea.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: What if I take that action that I've been thinking about?
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's uncomfortable and I'm gonna feel the discomfort, but you know, kind of like start thinking about it.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: I feel that that's that's an action step that I can tell you because this past year I've been just thinking taking one uncomfortable step after the other, like legit.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: And those those ideas are put in your head for a reason.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: So what do you think is your yeah?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I was gonna agree.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: I think that is the action step is there are like those ideas are put in your head for a reason, right?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just oh that's a cool idea.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: Next thing, oh that's a cool idea, take the action.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: And again, you take the action and it it didn't end up cool.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's fine.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, you know what, I took it and it wasn't for me, and let's move on to the other one.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because not all of the the the thoughts are going to be or not all of the action, the whisper actions are gonna be for you, but they're gonna teach you something.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's really important that you follow.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I think due to our very internet uh connection instability, uh, we are going to possibly cut this short.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: However, uh and I have another homework for you, uh not for you, Kira, but for everybody, to um look back in your life and then see where find the evidence where when one window, when one door closed, another one opened for you in any area of your life.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: So you can start looking at the evidence.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because once we have evidence, it's easier to uh think about remember 10 years ago or five years ago when this other door closed, another one opened, and it was the best thing of my life.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: So try to find start to think of the evidence.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: I like that.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and don't forget, guys, we do have a premium to homework, and I was just gonna say we do have a premium channel, so don't forget you guys can do a trial for seven days, get on there, listen to our short episodes, right?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: We want this to be more personal, we want it to be geared towards what people are asking for.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yes, the podcast is what you're asking for, but these are short, actionable little episodes, so give it a try.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and then we do end with our breathing, even though you're cutting off.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not cutting off.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: You do it.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, maybe I am, I don't know.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's my maybe it's on my end.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Alrighty.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: So we are going to uh remember if you're driving, do not close your eyes.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: But if you are not driving, please close your eyes.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna take a breath in for four, we're gonna hold for two, and we're gonna exhale for six.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna do it two times, and our mantra is everything always works out for me.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, again, we're gonna take a deep breath in.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: One, two, three, four, hold for two, one, two, exhale for six, two, three, four, five, six.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is always working out for me.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Again, we're gonna inhale.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: One, two, three, four, hold for two, one, two, and exhale for six, two, three, four, five, and six, and everything is always working out four.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: And we will see you guys on the next episode.