Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 697: Your Ex Will 100% Reach Out If You Do THIS

Transcript

Episode 697: Your Ex Will 100% Reach Out If You Do THIS · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:01
  Most people, when they're dumped, will chase and beg.
• 0:05
  They think that if they pour out their feelings, their ex will
• 0:09
  suddenly see the light and come back.
• 0:12
  But that's not how attraction works.
• 0:15
  It's actually the opposite. The more you push, the further
• 0:20
  they run away from you. The less you chase, the more
• 0:24
  inclined they'll be to come towards you.
• 0:27
  People don't come back because you want them to.
• 0:30
  You can't force someone to come back, just as you can't force
• 0:34
  someone to date you. Exes come back because they miss
• 0:38
  you and they realized your value while they were away from you.
• 0:44
  So how do we make your ex miss you and realize your value?
• 0:49
  Stay tuned and you'll find out. Hi, this is Lucia with the Art
• 0:53
  of Love. I'm a deity and relationship
• 0:55
  expert specializing in helping you get your X back or to get
• 0:59
  over your X. And welcome back my beautiful no
• 1:02
  contact army. If you have my Silencio app, do
• 1:07
  you know that you can do affirmations?
• 1:10
  There's a section where you can do three free affirmations if
• 1:14
  you are into affirmations or even ask formations.
• 1:19
  So if you haven't checked that out, make sure you do.
• 1:20
  The link is underneath every single video and podcast.
• 1:23
  And if you too would like to join our beautiful no contact
• 1:26
  army, all you have to do is hit the subscribe button and the
• 1:31
  bell notification and you're in. And to read our manual, go to
• 1:35
  nocontactsecrets.com where you can read 2 free chapters before
• 1:39
  you purchase the book. Before I start, I want to
• 1:42
  mention something that's been on my mind for a while. 65% of
• 1:46
  people who listen to me are not subscribed.
• 1:50
  So if I can ask you a favor, if my videos have helped you in any
• 1:54
  way and you want to give something back in return, then
• 1:57
  please hit the subscribe button and I promise I will continue to
• 2:01
  work hard to put out interesting and helpful videos.
• 2:04
  Thank you. OK, let's get into it.
• 2:08
  When something of value seems to be slipping away, our natural
• 2:13
  inclination is to chase it. However, the more you fight to
• 2:18
  keep your ex in your life, the more they'll resist.
• 2:23
  But why does showing that you care often have the opposite
• 2:28
  effect? It's because when you chase, the
• 2:33
  message you're sending is that your value, your worth, and your
• 2:38
  validation depends on your ex. This comes across as desperate,
• 2:44
  and desperation is never attractive.
• 2:47
  No one is going to come back because they pity you, just as
• 2:51
  no one is going to date you because they pity you.
• 2:55
  People need to see value in both dating you and in coming back to
• 2:59
  you. When you truly let go, you shift
• 3:05
  the dynamic completely. This is why people often hear
• 3:09
  from their exes when they decide to just let go or move on.
• 3:14
  That's why I have the meditation to take your energy back from
• 3:20
  your ex and I'll put the link to that in the upper right hand
• 3:23
  corner. Their ex can sense the shift in
• 3:28
  energy and if they're still interested, they reach out.
• 3:34
  Your absence forces them to confront the reality they never
• 3:37
  expected. You're no longer chasing them
• 3:40
  and possibly no longer waiting for them.
• 3:44
  But this is where most people screw up.
• 3:47
  They think that just a little reminder to their ex won't hurt,
• 3:52
  so they'll post something on social media that their ex noses
• 3:56
  for them. Or they'll break no contact just
• 4:00
  to check in. Just check it in.
• 4:03
  A breakup is not a hotel or an airline.
• 4:06
  You don't need to check in every time you reach out.
• 4:12
  You dilute the effectiveness of no contact.
• 4:16
  And do you reassure them that you're still there and they have
• 4:20
  absolutely nothing to worry about?
• 4:23
  You're still waiting, you're still invested.
• 4:26
  And just like that, they no longer feel the need to come
• 4:29
  back. You just shot yourself in the
• 4:32
  foot and you have no one to blame but yourself.
• 4:36
  Instead, by not chasing them, you're showing self respect.
• 4:42
  You're showing that you're not going to chase anyone who's
• 4:45
  chosen to walk away from you. And for those of you who have an
• 4:48
  anxious attachment style because of an abandonment in childhood,
• 4:52
  your first instinct is going to be to chase them instead.
• 4:57
  You need to be working on your attachment style, not chasing.
• 5:02
  By doing no contact, you're communicating without words that
• 5:07
  you're strong enough to walk away and stay away.
• 5:11
  That strength is magnetic. Most people trip themselves up
• 5:18
  by thinking, but what if they never come back?
• 5:21
  What if they move on? Well, you need to ask yourself,
• 5:25
  do you really want someone who doesn't see your worth and your
• 5:28
  value and who has no problem walking away and never looking
• 5:33
  back? How can you build a future?
• 5:36
  How can you build a relationship with someone like that?
• 5:41
  When you stay away from your ex, you start to regain control of
• 5:44
  yourself. You start to actually get
• 5:47
  yourself back. Many people lose themselves once
• 5:50
  they start dating someone or they're in a relationship.
• 5:54
  They start overreacting, analyzing every little thing,
• 5:58
  overthinking and waiting. You think that the way to prove
• 6:04
  your worth is by making them stay, but in reality, you prove
• 6:09
  your worth by not chasing them. When they walk away, let them
• 6:14
  sit in the silence of not hearing from you.
• 6:18
  Let them experience what it's like to not have you in their
• 6:21
  world. Absence speaks louder than
• 6:25
  words. Your power comes not from
• 6:28
  chasing them, but from your absence being felt so deeply
• 6:33
  that they have no choice but to come back.
• 6:37
  However, absence alone isn't enough.
• 6:42
  You need to become someone they can't ignore.
• 6:47
  You can't just stop at disappearing.
• 6:49
  You need to go beyond that. Your ex needs to see you're no
• 6:54
  longer the person they walked away from.
• 6:57
  You're going to work on becoming the best version of yourself.
• 7:02
  You want your ex to see you as someone new, someone who's not
• 7:06
  been sitting around waiting to hear from them but has been
• 7:10
  actively working on themselves and their life.
• 7:15
  Yes, of course you're going to level up physically.
• 7:18
  Go to the gym, change your diet if necessary, update your
• 7:23
  wardrobe, get a haircut that's more flattering for your face
• 7:26
  shape, maybe a different hair color.
• 7:29
  However, your real power is going to come from your mental
• 7:34
  transformation. Instead of letting the breakup
• 7:38
  get to you and letting it determine yourself worth, you're
• 7:43
  going to take control of your life.
• 7:46
  Do things that make you feel powerful and independent.
• 7:50
  Read, attend seminars, workshops, go to therapy.
• 7:56
  Whatever it is, you need to feel mentally stronger to become a
• 8:02
  person who doesn't need external validation in order to feel
• 8:05
  whole. Your ex expected you to crumble
• 8:09
  when they walked away, and instead the breakup has had the
• 8:13
  opposite effect. When they see you thriving
• 8:17
  without them. And they will see it.
• 8:19
  Even if you don't think so, they're going to see it.
• 8:21
  Don't worry, they will be shook. This is when they start to
• 8:26
  second guess their decision. The paradox of attraction is
• 8:31
  that the moment you stop needing their attention is the moment
• 8:36
  that they actually want to give it to you.
• 8:40
  Who do you want to be when they come back?
• 8:44
  Do you want to be the same person you were when they walked
• 8:47
  away from you? Or do you want to be your best
• 8:50
  self so that by the time they return, you may not even be sure
• 8:55
  that you even want them back? When they do come back, the
• 8:59
  choice will be yours, not theirs, and the only way to get
• 9:05
  to that place is to mentally detach.
• 9:09
  Attachment is what's causing the pain you feel, not the loss
• 9:14
  itself. It's not their absence that
• 9:17
  hurts, but the fact that you're still emotionally tied to them.
• 9:23
  You're still making them the center of your thoughts.
• 9:27
  You're still letting them live rent free in your head even
• 9:30
  though they walked away. That's why you feel stuck and
• 9:34
  can't fully move on. Instead of living in the
• 9:38
  present, you're a prisoner to the past, replaying memories and
• 9:43
  wondering what you could have done differently.
• 9:47
  Detachment isn't about suppressing emotions and
• 9:50
  pretending you don't care. Detachment is about accepting
• 9:54
  reality as it is at this moment. No resistance, no anger.
• 10:01
  And this is where the magic happens.
• 10:04
  With that acceptance comes the feeling of calm and peace.
• 10:09
  When you're no longer fighting the current reality, it no
• 10:12
  longer effects you. Remember, you always have power
• 10:16
  over your mind and how you choose to view a situation.
• 10:20
  You couldn't control your ex breaking up with you, but you
• 10:24
  can't control how you react to the breakup.
• 10:27
  And that's the moment that you reclaim your power, except that
• 10:33
  nothing and no one is permanent and you will never be in fear of
• 10:37
  losing anyone. So now I want to hear from you.
• 10:44
  How long have you been in no contact and how is it going?
• 10:47
  And in the meantime, if you would like my help to get your
• 10:50
  ex back, please contact me at theartoflog.net/contact and we
• 10:57
  will send you the rates. The link is underneath every
• 10:59
  single video and podcast. If you found this video helpful,
• 11:03
  please like, subscribe, and share.
• 11:06
  If you're listening to this as a podcast and you want to help the
• 11:09
  channel, please download this episode.
• 11:11
  And finally, remember, love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
• 11:17
  enlightens.