Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #27: How to Implement a Routine Without Being Rigid

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#27: How to Implement a Routine Without Being Rigid · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: This is a Happy Families podcast with doctor Justin Kilson.
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  Speaker 1: We are Lukin Susie and this is the podcast for
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  Speaker 1: time poor parents who just want answers. Now.
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  Speaker 2: One thing that you hear often with parents is they're
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  Speaker 2: always so good at school. Why can't I get them
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  Speaker 2: to behave like that at home? But I think one
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  Speaker 2: little word seems to explain at all. Routine, establishing routines.
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  Speaker 2: It's kind of an important thing.
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  Speaker 3: Well.
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  Speaker 2: I think it was learning that it was an important
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  Speaker 2: thing for kids that made me realize it's kind of
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  Speaker 2: an important thing for us grown ups as well.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, we seem to actually do better when life feels predictable.
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  Speaker 4: It makes us feel more secure and we actually get
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  Speaker 4: more done. It's funny, though, when I talk to a
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  Speaker 4: lot of parents, they say, I just don't like being
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  Speaker 4: in a routine because then I feel like I'm rigid,
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  Speaker 4: I'm stuck, I don't have any flexibility. You can have
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  Speaker 4: a routine and have a degree of flexibility around it.
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  Speaker 4: Routine actually allows you to have that flexibility and then
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  Speaker 4: come back to that safety when things aren't working out
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  Speaker 4: quite right.
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  Speaker 1: And it's important, Well it is, And so I'm not
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  Speaker 1: a disciplined routine personality. It's not natural to me. But
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  Speaker 1: as you say, what I've learned is that if I
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  Speaker 1: actually do a portion of my life well on routine,
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  Speaker 1: everything else, the freedom and the adaptability that I do well,
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  Speaker 1: it comes easier because everything's in a good place.
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  Speaker 4: That's it. I mean, you can be all army commander
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  Speaker 4: and you know, disciplinarian, ship shape and all that sort
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  Speaker 4: of thing, and that works for some families, and if
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  Speaker 4: it works for you, then that's fabulous. I prefer that
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  Speaker 4: kind of an approach myself. I like to know that
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  Speaker 4: it's seven o three, this is what's happening at seven
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  Speaker 4: o six. You know that that works for me. But
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  Speaker 4: my wife doesn't like that, and so we've compromised and
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  Speaker 4: we've set up what we call time targets, and so
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  Speaker 4: we've just got two or three time targets that anchor
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  Speaker 4: our morning or that anchor our evening. And it's those
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  Speaker 4: time targets that keep us on track. We've got flexibility
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  Speaker 4: out out of those things. But we know that bang
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  Speaker 4: on this time the whole family comes together for a
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  Speaker 4: meal or everyone has to be out the door or
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  Speaker 4: whatever it is. And that seems to work pretty well
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  Speaker 4: for us.
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  Speaker 2: Well, we get that routine is important, but how do
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  Speaker 2: we get young children to see the same thing. It's
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  Speaker 2: The Happy Family's Podcast with doctor Justin Coulson.
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  Speaker 3: More next, Most children are born curious and confident. They
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  Speaker 3: love to explore the world, meet new friends, and try
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  Speaker 3: new things. But between the ages of two and twelve,
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: confidence often drops off. Why and how can we rebuild it?
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: Creating Confident Kids is an easy to read e book
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  Speaker 3: for busy parents where you'll discover the five biggest mistakes
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  Speaker 3: most parents may that crush their kids confidence and the
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: five best confidence boosters for building resilience and well being
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  Speaker 3: in your children. Creating Confident Kids by doctor Justin Coulson
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  Speaker 3: at Happy families dot com dot a youu.
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  Speaker 2: It's the Happy Famili's podcast with doctor Justin Coulson. As
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  Speaker 2: we talk about the importance of routine in our families,
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  Speaker 2: so we know.
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  Speaker 1: How important it is, how do we because we can't
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  Speaker 1: really sit down with young children and go right, let's
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  Speaker 1: talk about the importance of routine. How do we get
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  Speaker 1: them to follow the program that we think is important?
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  Speaker 4: Well, I think that the best tip and look, there's
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  Speaker 4: a handful that I could give you, but I'm just
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  Speaker 4: going to give you one because it works so well
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  Speaker 4: with children of pretty much any age. You use music
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  Speaker 4: to set them up for success. So what you do
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  Speaker 4: is you get one of those little Bluetooth speakers, or
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  Speaker 4: you go over to your seat and your player or
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  Speaker 4: whatever it is that you use to play your music
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  Speaker 4: nice and loud through the house, and you say, kids,
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  Speaker 4: every morning, when you hear this song, what we're going
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  Speaker 4: to do is we're going to get together for this thing.
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  Speaker 4: And when you hear this song, that means it's time
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  Speaker 4: to go and do that. And it's great for two reasons.
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  Speaker 4: First of all, the kids get to pick songs that
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  Speaker 4: make them feel fantastic, which means that you don't have
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  Speaker 4: to go.
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  Speaker 1: Kids, kids, how do you a thousand times? Kids?
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  Speaker 4: You know, you actually get to be calm and quiet
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  Speaker 4: and just play a song that makes them feel great.
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  Speaker 4: But the other thing that's really good about it is
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  Speaker 4: they've got some buying into it. It's kind of it
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  Speaker 4: changes the energy in your home. So in our family,
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  Speaker 4: we've got a song that I play on the piano.
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  Speaker 4: I don't play the piano well, but I've got three
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  Speaker 4: songs that I can play, and I play one of
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  Speaker 4: those songs every morning at six point thirty, and when
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  Speaker 4: the kids hear that song, they know that they've got
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  Speaker 4: five minutes to be in the living room so that
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  Speaker 4: we can plan the day, get on with things, and
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  Speaker 4: make things happen. And then I play another song. Usually
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  Speaker 4: it's one of the kid's favorite songs. Lately it's been
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  Speaker 4: this is going to be the best day of my life.
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  Speaker 4: I know that's so twenty fourteen whatever, And we play
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  Speaker 4: that song. It gets everyone pumped up and slicked up,
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  Speaker 4: and they know that when that song comes on, they've
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  Speaker 4: got about three and a half minutes to the end
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  Speaker 4: of the song before they've got to be in the
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  Speaker 4: car so we can get them off to the bus
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  Speaker 4: stop or off the school or whatever it is. And
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  Speaker 4: those couple of little time targets stop us from shouting
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  Speaker 4: and yelling. And it actually, I guess the word is
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  Speaker 4: condition songs. It's got to like pavlos. They start salivating.
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  Speaker 4: The kids know that it's time to do their thing.
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  Speaker 2: Oh that's great. It's kind of like the school bell.
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  Speaker 2: Kids know when the school bell rings, it's under line up,
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  Speaker 2: or it's time to go to lunch or whatever it is.
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  Speaker 2: Love it, but it's something that is actually good for
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  Speaker 2: the whole music is so good.
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  Speaker 1: I just there's so many not to say that I
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  Speaker 1: ever think that your ideas are bad, Justin, but this,
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  Speaker 1: this is so in the in the sweet spot for
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  Speaker 1: our family, our boys. We do this. We sit around
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  Speaker 1: the speaker and they choose a song just because, and
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  Speaker 1: we have a little family playlist because of songs that
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  Speaker 1: we're okay, we've filtered through and that they love. And
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  Speaker 1: this this is just a natural next step to help.
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  Speaker 1: I love it like a tear and teeth song suit. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: do get your uniform.
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  Speaker 4: Love it. My work here is done.
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  Speaker 2: You too helping us re establish routines from Happy Families
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  Speaker 2: dot com.
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  Speaker 4: That are you?
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  Speaker 2: It is doctor Justin Coilson.
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  Speaker 4: Thank you so much, always a pleasure.
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  Speaker 2: For more info in all of Justin's books, podcasts, and programs,
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  Speaker 2: you can jump online to Happy Families dot com. Do
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  Speaker 2: are you to find out how to have Justin speak
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  Speaker 2: at your school or you can come along to your
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  Speaker 2: organization as well. Go to Justin Coulson dot com.