Latest / Bomb Life / Men Want This, Women Need That: Why Sex Feels Off with Todd Malloy |323

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Men Want This, Women Need That: Why Sex Feels Off with Todd Malloy |323 · Bomb Life

0:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Because the only way to be free and be wherever you want to be, you have to be out of the self, honest with yourself, and honest with your environment, other words, you have that possible to be free.
0:10
[SPEAKER_00]: So number one, you have to articulate your care and concern in what you want, and not about what the other person is in doing.
0:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
0:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, I'm looking to explore deeper into intimacy and our emotional connection.
0:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would wonder if you can partner with me on that because if that about what you're
0:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, that's why I could go on I'm looking for something different.
0:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to have a different experience.
0:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Not the person is the construct of how we do what we do.
0:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, we may be missing every day, all day.
0:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I just we nobody needs to get you.
0:42
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's let's try something else and let's go to toy store.
0:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's watch things on TV.
0:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's do the extension created.
0:49
[SPEAKER_00]: But in the midst of that sharing how it's a win for the other person and how this fast is our relationship to secure our ever last.
1:11
[SPEAKER_04]: Welcome to the Bond Life Podcast where fitness, vines, and real talk collide.
1:16
[SPEAKER_04]: This is it just about workouts.
1:17
[SPEAKER_04]: It's about transforming your body, mind, and life.
1:20
[SPEAKER_04]: Get ready for unfiltered conversations, expert advice, and the motivation you need to level up in every way.
1:40
[SPEAKER_04]: Hey everyone, welcome to the Bomb Live podcast.
1:43
[SPEAKER_04]: I am Melissa Volgle your host.
1:44
[SPEAKER_04]: Welcome to the show.
1:45
[SPEAKER_04]: If you are brand new, oh, man did you fall on a good episode and listen to and if you are returning listener, welcome back.
1:52
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm so glad that you're here.
1:53
[SPEAKER_04]: Please, you guys, as always, give a five star review.
1:55
[SPEAKER_04]: I always forget to say that.
1:57
[SPEAKER_04]: So I'm just seeing it right up front right now.
1:58
[SPEAKER_04]: Five star review, make sure you leave a comment.
2:01
[SPEAKER_04]: All things are greatly appreciated.
2:03
[SPEAKER_04]: Today's episode, it's gonna be a great day.
2:04
[SPEAKER_04]: you're going to set your soul on fire, hopefully you're heart and everything else down below, because we are talking about sex today and relationships and the importance of an intimacy feeling safe and, oh, such good conversation.
2:17
[SPEAKER_04]: I talk about sex on here often.
2:20
[SPEAKER_04]: If you are a new listener or the returning listener, and you haven't gone back and listened to all of the shows, please just like Netflix and binge, but the Bomb Life podcast, go back and listen, because
2:33
[SPEAKER_04]: There's great information on products, discount codes, like everything, and then four, you're going to hear all of the topics that will relate to this, too.
2:42
[SPEAKER_04]: And every time we have a guest on, even if we're talking about kind of the same topic, you learn more information.
2:48
[SPEAKER_04]: Every guest shows up differently and has something new to offer and just makes light bulbs go off, starts fire in your soul.
2:57
[SPEAKER_04]: And our guest today, Todd Mulay, does that as well.
3:00
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god, okay, first I have so many housekeeping things to tell you guys.
3:03
[SPEAKER_04]: Now, when this episode airs right now, we have just started the fit body method.
3:10
[SPEAKER_04]: And if you join this weekend, I will still let you in.
3:13
[SPEAKER_04]: So I just wanted to say that because I know where to pass the start date.
3:16
[SPEAKER_04]: The start date is May 4th and it is May 7th now.
3:19
[SPEAKER_04]: So we're a couple days past, but if you're listening to this going, good.
3:23
[SPEAKER_04]: I forgot.
3:24
[SPEAKER_04]: I totally forgot.
3:25
[SPEAKER_04]: I wanted to do that.
3:26
[SPEAKER_04]: Still go to the link in the bio.
3:27
[SPEAKER_04]: Click and join and get in.
3:29
[SPEAKER_04]: We'll get you caught up.
3:30
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
3:30
[SPEAKER_04]: I got it.
3:31
[SPEAKER_04]: You know me times that's happened to me before.
3:32
[SPEAKER_04]: Like I totally got it.
3:33
[SPEAKER_04]: But also like if you were on the fence and you're like, Oh, shoot.
3:36
[SPEAKER_04]: Well, I missed that.
3:37
[SPEAKER_04]: I missed that start date and I can't do it.
3:39
[SPEAKER_04]: No, you can.
3:40
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to take that excuse away from you right now.
3:42
[SPEAKER_04]: Get in.
3:42
[SPEAKER_04]: It is an experience.
3:44
[SPEAKER_04]: That's going to change your life and your body.
3:46
[SPEAKER_04]: And you guys, it's $2 a day.
3:47
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not even joking.
3:48
[SPEAKER_04]: $2 a day.
3:50
[SPEAKER_04]: And we're going to transform you before summer.
3:52
[SPEAKER_04]: the fit body method so go to the link you'll find information if you have other information and you're still on the fence like what you know but i'm taking away i don't know the money i'm taking that away i'm totally taking that excuse away you can't use it what other excuse do have and give it to me okay if you have questions concerns or you're like i'm want to do this but then i want to do something else i go to the link i always put my link to my calendar in there and you can click and book a call with me
4:15
[SPEAKER_04]: All right, okay, let's dive in today's episode if it's a little bit longer, but you won't even, you won't even know.
4:20
[SPEAKER_04]: Today we have Todd Malayon, and Todd is a psychotherapist, a licensed marriage, and family therapist, and a certified sex therapist.
4:30
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, and he helps people move from self-survival to self-reclamation, and some people don't burn out because they're weak.
4:39
[SPEAKER_04]: They burn out because they've learned how to survive too well, and our guest today knows that story all too personally, and you can also have this happen in your relationship too, and with sex and intimacy, and you get burned out, or you never even learn
4:57
[SPEAKER_04]: this episode is for singles.
5:00
[SPEAKER_04]: It is for if you are married, if you are dating, it doesn't matter.
5:06
[SPEAKER_04]: You need to know and learn this information.
5:08
[SPEAKER_04]: Todd Maloy grew up carrying adult responsibly early and he succeeded in corporate, in a corporate career that looked right on paper.
5:16
[SPEAKER_04]: And he still felt deeply misaligned inside.
5:19
[SPEAKER_04]: And today, he's a psychotherapist, like I said, licensed marriage, their family therapist, sex therapist, and he helps so many people just move from that survival mode to self-reclamation and in the bedroom.
5:32
[SPEAKER_04]: And this conversation, Todd breaks down, like, why intimacy is so important.
5:39
[SPEAKER_04]: How do you change things if you're on one level, but your partner's on another?
5:42
[SPEAKER_04]: How does emotional safety impact women's sex drive?
5:46
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, how do you create these changes?
5:49
[SPEAKER_04]: What can you do to change things today?
5:51
[SPEAKER_04]: It's just, it's amazing.
5:53
[SPEAKER_04]: So I want you all to listen to this and then if you have a partner in your life, I want you to pass it on to them.
5:58
[SPEAKER_04]: And be like, I need you to listen to this too because it's such good information for men and women both.
6:03
[SPEAKER_04]: We both need to hear this message.
6:05
[SPEAKER_04]: And I'm here to be the voice and to ask all the hard questions for you.
6:09
[SPEAKER_04]: All right, everyone, go to the show notes, check him out, check out the links, join the Fit by the method, and enjoy the show.
6:33
[SPEAKER_04]: Uh, I'm excited to have you on.
6:36
[SPEAKER_04]: We, we get to talk about, I don't know, just everything, sex, growth, relationships, intimacy, and you're the perfect man for this, because you're a, a cyclist, correct?
6:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Correct.
6:48
[SPEAKER_04]: And a licensed marriage and family therapist, a certified sex therapist, and just an overall sexuality educator.
6:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Correct.
6:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm basically the quintessential nerd.
6:57
[SPEAKER_04]: I love it.
6:58
[SPEAKER_04]: I love your type of nerd and I will totally nerd out with you.
7:03
[SPEAKER_04]: So I got to ask first like about just your store in your background.
7:07
[SPEAKER_04]: It's my favorite question to ask our guests because it kind of just lays the platform, you know, or the foundation of like how you went into this.
7:13
[SPEAKER_04]: How did you go?
7:14
[SPEAKER_04]: Why did you go into sex therapy and marriage and family like how did this become what you do and specialize in?
7:20
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, when I was a kid, I grew up in a marginalized community of African American, my mother had a nice, my parents were married when I was born.
7:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I went to my father and stick around.
7:31
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was raised by a single mother who was two sons in the 1960s and that social economics situation that was stressful.
7:39
[SPEAKER_00]: So in the midst of that, that taught me how fragile life
7:43
[SPEAKER_00]: was.
7:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And I decided that I chose to be a part of the solution I was supposed to part of the problem.
7:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I really used that it wanted to dedicate my life to helping people.
7:52
[SPEAKER_00]: But in the midst of helping people, you get distracted.
7:55
[SPEAKER_00]: However, I've always wanted to be a therapist.
7:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And then when I was 17 years old, I would have going to a Catholic private school, which I paid for.
8:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Because when I was in the public high school, I shared with my mother, I wanted to get caught into the neighborhood and get sucked
8:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So I said, I'd go to work, I'll do whatever I need to do, but I can go to somewhere else.
8:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So I facilitated getting a part-time job to build a school, to kind of pay my way to high school, so I didn't have a big an experience.
8:22
[SPEAKER_00]: In the midst of that, they took me to the University of Connecticut Medical School like Career Day when you want to be.
8:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And I went there and gentlemen, I was standing up front just as excited and happy as I want to be as a kid.
8:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying my dreams come true.
8:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And guys, looking like Kent standing there with the glasses, the slick hair, the white coat, he's standing up right there.
8:41
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you want to do?
8:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be a psychiatrist.
8:44
[SPEAKER_00]: He said, you have 12 more years of school when I drop my head.
8:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I said, wait a minute, I don't know where to get 12 years that I kind of mudded from.
8:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
8:53
[SPEAKER_00]: To be with him, so I kind of
8:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the ended up because my uncle was a draftsman for an engineering company I was creating math for science and said, hey, why don't you go get an engineering degree?
9:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And that only came for years.
9:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you can do what you want to do.
9:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And then my naive self said yes.
9:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So then by however the joke was on me because it ended up taking 10 years to get a four year degree as it wants.
9:17
[SPEAKER_00]: So I ended up graduating from a college with a degree I didn't want.
9:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And actually on my graduation day cried.
9:23
[SPEAKER_00]: because I was successful at being doing what I didn't want to do.
9:27
[SPEAKER_00]: It actually took me to about 42.
9:29
[SPEAKER_00]: It actually gave myself permission to be who I wanted to be because I was actually waging my kids not to be me.
9:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I recognized that he passed with you because I'm starting to get mad at my kids.
9:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to discipline them, but then I said, why are you disciplineing them to be for being who you wanted them to be and who you raised and to be?
9:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I have to check myself.
9:47
[SPEAKER_00]: But in the midst of that, and I was a kid and effects and all of those things, I really wanted to be a punch star,
9:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't.
9:54
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't know this.
9:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't maybe a porn star made a porn movie, but then I recognized that it's probably saying my mumma.
10:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Then when I got the opportunity to meet a woman by the name of Sally Foley.
10:06
[SPEAKER_00]: who was ahead of the sexual education for sex therapy, training program at Dilertal Michigan, at Arbor.
10:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I met her and she changed my life.
10:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And she introduced me to sex therapy.
10:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I read, it registered greatly with me.
10:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I can legitimize my desire for intimacy and sex, so I don't say my mom, I can put some letters behind it, and I can make a vocation.
10:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, so here I am.
10:31
[SPEAKER_04]: So I love that.
10:32
[SPEAKER_04]: I love that.
10:34
[SPEAKER_04]: No shame in the mama, that's for sure.
10:36
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm from Michigan, Todd.
10:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, actually, actually I'm weird.
10:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Saginaw.
10:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, okay, excellent.
10:42
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what you have.
10:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Jake worked very mind-grain from Saginaw.
10:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh-huh.
10:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh-huh.
10:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying that she did.
10:48
[SPEAKER_00]: So, but you don't live there now because it'll winter them, right?
10:51
[SPEAKER_04]: Uh, you do not, and you can't pay me enough to go back.
10:53
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm in California now.
10:55
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I went, like, as far as you could go.
10:57
[SPEAKER_00]: All right.
10:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
10:58
[SPEAKER_00]: That's nothing.
10:59
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a beautiful place, but the winter's over.
11:01
[SPEAKER_04]: it's rough.
11:02
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
11:03
[SPEAKER_04]: It's definitely rough.
11:04
[SPEAKER_04]: So for those of us, those listening, can you explain just real quick, like, what is a sex therapist?
11:11
[SPEAKER_04]: What does that look like?
11:12
[SPEAKER_04]: What do you help with?
11:13
[SPEAKER_04]: Because I'm sure there are people listening going.
11:17
[SPEAKER_04]: like what would exactly do you help with it talk with people or do you people them?
11:21
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm sure there's people that don't have any idea.
11:24
[SPEAKER_04]: Any idea?
11:24
[SPEAKER_04]: What do you do?
11:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So first and foremost, I don't touch people.
11:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Even if I show you something, I won't be touching people.
11:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
11:31
[SPEAKER_00]: What will be the interest?
11:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
11:33
[SPEAKER_00]: No, but we have to look at sexes just another medium to feed to our lives.
11:38
[SPEAKER_00]: If the peace tool of public is not the whole change,
11:44
[SPEAKER_00]: It's only 25%, but when it's bad, it could be up to 85% of the power.
11:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, think about this.
11:51
[SPEAKER_00]: When we come to an intimacy, no one wants to talk about it.
11:54
[SPEAKER_00]: We're like a taboo subject.
11:56
[SPEAKER_00]: So how do you feel every feel comfortable that something that's made to see in Tardry?
12:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I have women that say, hey, my mother tells me all the things that I shouldn't do before getting married.
12:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Then when it's time to get married, my husband wants me to swing on a chair to live, but I keep hearing my mother's voice in my mind, and have green girls don't do this.
12:14
[SPEAKER_00]: So what I help do is normalize it and allow it to show how it's a piece to a puzzle.
12:20
[SPEAKER_00]: We're all a system.
12:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Our relationship is in the system.
12:23
[SPEAKER_00]: We're a system with that ourselves.
12:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And we have pieces and parts and we need to understand our body, so we can show what for ourselves the best way possible.
12:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
12:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if we don't understand our body, then so we can actually setting ourselves up to be Pinyana's for other people.
12:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if I don't understand my buying, I can teach you how to care for me.
12:42
[SPEAKER_00]: You're asking the other person to take three shots of jacks, spin around in the circle that hit a bull's eye.
12:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
12:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody own their own orgasm.
12:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Nobody creates that point.
12:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Because your ability to relax your body, your ability to kill the most of the excitants, sure that will circulate that puzzle.
12:59
[SPEAKER_04]: Todd, do you need that on a t-shirt?
13:01
[SPEAKER_04]: You own your orgasm?
13:03
[SPEAKER_04]: How do we get that printed on this watcher?
13:06
[SPEAKER_04]: But it's true.
13:07
[SPEAKER_04]: And people are just not having conversations like this.
13:11
[SPEAKER_04]: And you want to do it all day every day.
13:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't like talking about it.
13:16
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
13:16
[SPEAKER_04]: And I have lists of questions from people that, you know, because I always, I was telling you before the show, I always ask people, my clients, you know, one on one clients, people out there social media like, hey, I'm this guest coming on.
13:29
[SPEAKER_04]: This is going to be the topic.
13:30
[SPEAKER_04]: What are the questions you have?
13:31
[SPEAKER_04]: So I have all these questions that I'm like, you know what, 90% of them would be answered with just talking with your partner, too.
13:38
[SPEAKER_04]: You know, you hold the answers in your relationship, but Todd, even for women.
13:44
[SPEAKER_04]: when they get together, it's so crazy when I talk one on one with a client because I dive into all areas of life.
13:51
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm like, we're talking sex, we're talking relationship, we're talking like how many reps and sets you're doing at the gym, like we're talking everything because that all impacts your journey.
13:59
[SPEAKER_02]: for right.
14:00
[SPEAKER_04]: And you know, and we start talking, I'm like, oh, my time of week, are you having sex?
14:04
[SPEAKER_04]: You know, what's that look like?
14:06
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, come on, let's have a real conversation around this.
14:08
[SPEAKER_04]: And they're like, oh, my God, it's so hard for them to open up in the beginning.
14:12
[SPEAKER_04]: But they're like, I can't talk about this with my girlfriends.
14:15
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, we don't sit around and talk about things like this.
14:18
[SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, man, the sheem in just hiding.
14:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
14:23
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not necessary.
14:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And for it again, it's because remember, no one really teaches us how to live.
14:28
[SPEAKER_00]: We're only taught to be students, professional law enforcement, military personnel.
14:33
[SPEAKER_00]: After that, you got parts like our parts, let's throw it together, hope to live that.
14:36
[SPEAKER_00]: It's great.
14:37
[SPEAKER_00]: But I would have to remind man that the traffic to pop said, tell them how you want it, maybe never tell you how to live it.
14:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Ask questions.
14:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Make yourself relevant in your own situations, because if you don't ask questions, you're using it all the cohesion and a new experience,
14:54
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
14:55
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
14:55
[SPEAKER_04]: And this, it can be such a beautiful, large part of most definitely.
15:01
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a quality believe it or not.
15:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, intimacy sex is the quality of life.
15:06
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not an act.
15:07
[SPEAKER_00]: It's about quality of life made really to anxiety and depression.
15:11
[SPEAKER_00]: increase the dopamine, all of these good things, creates a bondy that's not, think about it this way.
15:17
[SPEAKER_00]: It's intimately, when we're together with like a mother breast shooting a child, that's saying bonding between mother and child, who's happening between partners when they're entering, and getting them more and more slowly to stay from securing the field with that partner, the greater the out-of-body experience.
15:33
[SPEAKER_00]: We will orgasm and ejaculate because of nerve-rending moving.
15:37
[SPEAKER_00]: But the item body guidance experience that people are looking for is a result of the emotional connection that is acquired through transparency, vulnerability, and anything which equals emotional safety with equals truck.
15:50
[SPEAKER_00]: With that, now we can connect to your personal guard forces and have the outer body experience.
15:55
[SPEAKER_00]: But without the emotional connected, a willingness to be transparent, vulnerable, and shame, communicate, sharing your wants to design needs, even by using watching TV.
16:05
[SPEAKER_00]: You see something you like on TV.
16:07
[SPEAKER_00]: You say, hey, let's have a discussion.
16:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, what do you think about what we just saw?
16:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
16:11
[SPEAKER_00]: To introduce us a soft start.
16:14
[SPEAKER_00]: So as you're moving through like, hey, I had a thought.
16:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I had a question.
16:18
[SPEAKER_00]: But then actually pursue it.
16:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
16:20
[SPEAKER_00]: But again, how can I be making another shame, but not making another shame?
16:24
[SPEAKER_00]: If I want to take my clothes off and I'm trying to hide myself at the same time, how comfortable can I be as opposed to just say, hey, love me or leave me alone.
16:33
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
16:33
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god, Todd, you have no idea how many women how many times I hear that they have sex with the lights off.
16:40
[SPEAKER_00]: They have sex with clothes still on because there's a guy.
16:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Women have the things to stick up gain weight or no, when you're giving a compliment they reject the compliment and I have to share I said why do you want to mess up your man to this because when he's telling you he likes what you see And you're telling him not it's almost like you're pushing him away to somebody else.
17:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah
17:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So when we accept you, we accept you.
17:14
[SPEAKER_00]: We want to see, we want to see the glow in your eyes.
17:17
[SPEAKER_00]: We want to see the smile on your face.
17:19
[SPEAKER_00]: We want all of it because all of it, we accept you new as a whole person.
17:23
[SPEAKER_00]: But we can't do that if you want to allow us.
17:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And then when you don't, we feel the rejection, then we act out, then here we go, we have the cycle.
17:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
17:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the third cycle.
17:33
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, at one I think I think so many women in it's it's an epidemic and this goes into so many different layers and areas like so many women we we can't accept that we have a really hard time that that man doesn't see the cellulite and the fat that we see in the mirror they don't you guys don't you don't see our imperfections like we do and then it's so hard and that goes back to a whole like self love.
18:01
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
18:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And what's hurting with all this?
18:03
[SPEAKER_00]: That's great.
18:04
[SPEAKER_00]: What do we experience with a child and then identify your own self values and own self work?
18:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
18:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And then if you're having to do shaming guilt and you always feel judged, how can now that it's almost like the family familiar feeling when you're a kid, you're in a like an an incubator for so long that not even on the move from the incubator.
18:24
[SPEAKER_00]: My mom won't let me leave.
18:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
18:26
[SPEAKER_00]: because I create situations to create because I ain't feeling so I self-sadget large, my happiness and my joy.
18:33
[SPEAKER_04]: Mm-hmm.
18:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Did I make fun?
18:35
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, absolutely, a thousand percent.
18:39
[SPEAKER_04]: And you had mentioned something like this before a little bit earlier, two of like, women are told to be the good girl.
18:47
[SPEAKER_04]: You know, like, don't masturbate, don't touch yourself.
18:51
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, that's disgust, you know, what are you going to do?
18:53
[SPEAKER_04]: And then bring in religion and do it.
18:55
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, you're going to go to hell.
18:56
[SPEAKER_04]: And oh my god, Todd, you have to watch this movie.
18:59
[SPEAKER_04]: I just saw this.
19:00
[SPEAKER_04]: It's on, I think it's prime.
19:02
[SPEAKER_04]: And it's yes, God, yes.
19:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, it's hard to have with God, but I mean, no one was above.
19:08
[SPEAKER_04]: You have to watch it.
19:09
[SPEAKER_04]: I just randomly like started watching it.
19:11
[SPEAKER_04]: Did you watch the show?
19:12
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god, the big one on Netflix, that all the teenagers watching scary things.
19:16
[SPEAKER_00]: No, all all.
19:17
[SPEAKER_00]: It's Ranger things.
19:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Very good thing.
19:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Bob put me with a button.
19:20
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
19:20
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
19:20
[SPEAKER_04]: So the older sister in that show, and I'm just bringing this up.
19:24
[SPEAKER_04]: So our listeners know, too.
19:25
[SPEAKER_04]: Like because they'll be like, oh, yeah, I know.
19:27
[SPEAKER_04]: The older sister in there is the star of the show called, Yes, God, Yes.
19:32
[SPEAKER_04]: And it's all about this Catholic girl that is, I think, she's a junior senior in high school, and
19:41
[SPEAKER_04]: There's a rumor that started that she tossed this boy's salad.
19:46
[SPEAKER_04]: And she's just like this good girl doesn't know much.
19:49
[SPEAKER_04]: But she's starting to get like feelings in, you know, like very curious about sex and everything.
19:55
[SPEAKER_04]: And then she goes away to this camp.
19:57
[SPEAKER_04]: This church has this camp.
19:59
[SPEAKER_04]: And they talk about these things and explore and like how you will go to hell, you know, and touching yourself is bad.
20:07
[SPEAKER_04]: And sex is even worse until you're married.
20:10
[SPEAKER_00]: and all the stuff happens and I'm sitting there going, oh my god, that's like my childhood.
20:36
[SPEAKER_02]: for praise.
20:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, the male fact that there's yours, you should be familiar with them, you should understand it.
20:42
[SPEAKER_00]: It's for later news or for by you or someone else, at least you can teach them how to care for your poultry.
20:48
[SPEAKER_00]: If we think about it this way, everything we buy on life has on structure.
20:52
[SPEAKER_00]: and we really need a structure for the best care.
20:55
[SPEAKER_00]: But if we don't take the time to learn ourselves and cheat, we will set ourselves up to be in its handle.
20:59
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll set ourselves up to be disappointed and our partners to fail.
21:03
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's our sabotage that we support or we don't have to do.
21:08
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just about learning ourselves well enough to cheat someone and recognize that I don't have to apologize for enjoying my life the way I see fit because nobody else has asked me permission to move.
21:18
[SPEAKER_00]: So why do you care?
21:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Hmm, amen.
21:25
[SPEAKER_04]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
21:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yes, no, that intimacy is neck up, not weighs down.
21:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
21:47
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's bio psychosocial.
21:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So from clogged up, and I'm thinking about sex, it worked minimized reduces the arousal process.
21:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
21:56
[SPEAKER_00]: So basically, it's really about relaxing the environment, even though men of C1 have we wanted to just jump out the child we just want to call it.
22:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Women need the environment, creating staging the environment.
22:08
[SPEAKER_00]: They want atmosphere to some degree to best way to say that women are looking for afterglow to have to want sex.
22:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Men are looking for sex to experience an afterglow.
22:18
[SPEAKER_00]: They are in life complex.
22:20
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is why I share with men, when you need a woman, you buy a cloud and take it to the dining, you see nice stuff.
22:26
[SPEAKER_00]: But after the relationship is growing and things are changing and bringing children, it's taking things off her lips or to do them.
22:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Because women lack the right to focus on body image, the to-do list for the children, the to-do list for the house, if they have a job, they have to do all of these things.
22:43
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's a man for play changes and you have to do it.
22:46
[SPEAKER_00]: blow their brain down by taking things off the inflate.
22:49
[SPEAKER_00]: But nobody tells us this, women don't share it.
22:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Men don't have.
22:54
[SPEAKER_00]: So then they, they, you somebody like me that have to come in when they, when they have this, you got off the head.
22:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't we do it this way?
23:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
23:01
[SPEAKER_00]: If to turn into conversation, reason, turn into conversations we have oftentimes that we never share, you don't want to share it because we don't want to hurt someone.
23:09
[SPEAKER_00]: It's you and we don't want to make them uncomfortable.
23:11
[SPEAKER_00]: But what that is, is putting a bandage with something to be sad about later.
23:16
[SPEAKER_00]: you're voting the relationship in tunnel.
23:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So instead of avoiding the issue, I would be better to talk about the alternate in the room because it gets too big.
23:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Nobody's going to be in the room.
23:28
[SPEAKER_04]: Yep.
23:29
[SPEAKER_04]: Yep.
23:29
[SPEAKER_04]: You said such a good point.
23:31
[SPEAKER_04]: I was like, no one's asking these questions.
23:32
[SPEAKER_04]: No one's talking about it.
23:34
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm like crazy.
23:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And when I was the pastor, I used to talk about sex and money.
23:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And the church used to get upset or uncomfortable.
23:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And I said, I'll tell you what, sexy money is what people want most.
23:45
[SPEAKER_00]: We had to talk about it in the church, let's go out in the park.
23:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Ready?
23:48
[SPEAKER_00]: But at some point, we have to talk about these things.
23:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
23:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Something to get better.
23:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
23:53
[SPEAKER_00]: We really want to, someone to understand us.
23:56
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's time out where you're just supposed to know.
23:59
[SPEAKER_00]: It's time out for really TV.
24:01
[SPEAKER_00]: If I'm here and I don't want something from you, I should be able to be naked.
24:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I understand that free enough with you to share whatever is in my mind.
24:09
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you like it or not, I should be safe enough to not feel judged and you give me a real answer.
24:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
24:14
[SPEAKER_00]: That should be the relationship.
24:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, it should be, it should be.
24:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, but if it isn't, then you have to ask yourself, are you in the right place with the right person, or are you failing your own self by not ironing your own true?
24:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Because we show up at the represented.
24:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
24:29
[SPEAKER_00]: My job is to kill the represented.
24:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if we find we show up with the represented big, except the representative.
24:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, the representative can only last 18 to 24 months.
24:39
[SPEAKER_00]: After that, you've switched, but meanwhile, you're in the open of relationship with a person that's looking for you to be in your new steppe and they're waiting for that person to come back.
24:48
[SPEAKER_00]: But then I have to remind that person's not coming back.
24:52
[SPEAKER_00]: You let now you know the way it hurts you, but now, but also the flip side not just what it would be gaslighting to one else, but therefore, but the person I showed up with the representative challenge for them is you never know if you're truly accepting.
25:07
[SPEAKER_00]: So, not even though you're in the relationship, you don't feel the most distinct and secure why, because they're part of the stuff you don't want to show the other person.
25:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So, when you're in a relationship where you should be naked and not ashamed, it doesn't
25:21
[SPEAKER_00]: spiritually and mostly verbally.
25:23
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you're not willing to do that, how do you ever find your own acceptance?
25:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
25:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
25:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So, so therefore the representative should just be show up because we are who we are, no matter where we are.
25:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I may not be the doctor I've wanted to be, but I'm on that path and you may on the path as opposed to being perfect in a moment because my life is a life.
25:44
[SPEAKER_00]: For example, you've been a fitness person.
25:47
[SPEAKER_00]: It's probably, and I'm taking a big step of faith to you.
25:50
[SPEAKER_00]: But when people say, hey, I want to be successful by class reunion or whatever the case may be.
25:56
[SPEAKER_00]: That's cute.
25:57
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you really want to, the way of life, it's not for a moment.
26:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
26:01
[SPEAKER_00]: No, what it is, it's an incremental approach to the rate of moment.
26:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm on 60,000 years old, I'm 65, 233 pounds out of this morning.
26:09
[SPEAKER_00]: and my athletic bill, why, but I started my journey about helping being a whole person at 42 years old, and I've had a regiment from 42 to 62 firm.
26:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
26:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So it takes me probably being the healthiest I've ever been in life.
26:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
26:24
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's a way I like the minds and I'm not shooting for a game because if I focus my way of life, the body will take care of itself.
26:32
[UNKNOWN]: Right.
26:32
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, well, it reminds me like what I was saying earlier about how, you know, I'll get people that come to me and they're like, I just need to lose like the 20 pounds and like whatever.
26:40
[SPEAKER_04]: And they don't want to talk about, well, what are you truly eating?
26:45
[SPEAKER_04]: What are your relationships?
26:46
[SPEAKER_04]: Like how toxic is this?
26:47
[SPEAKER_04]: How much sex are you having?
26:49
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, it goes into everything and you know, how safe do you feel?
26:54
[SPEAKER_04]: Safety is so important, especially for women to feel safe.
26:58
[SPEAKER_04]: One in your body to actually
27:01
[SPEAKER_04]: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
27:22
[SPEAKER_04]: you know, and I'll hear I am, and I had to really learn what do I want in a man, what is it important to me, what was I not feeling then?
27:30
[SPEAKER_04]: And I learned first hand how important feeling safe is not only for me to just thrive, you know, but also for my sex life and like holy crap, that really does play a big role in it.
27:45
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
27:46
[SPEAKER_04]: And I mean, we've said that word several times now, but I'm so glad that you brought up to about how that changes.
27:53
[SPEAKER_04]: You know, once you are married and have kids and like it's sexy as hell to come home and the man like did some dishes and cleaned up and you're like, oh my god, I can just relax.
28:01
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't have to do that.
28:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
28:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, I've been what that does as long as woman's brain down to go ahead.
28:07
[SPEAKER_00]: If you take care of, you take a child, read a book or whatever.
28:10
[SPEAKER_00]: But by the time he comes to bed, you're like, hey, I got time for me to exactly because not you allowed me to restore myself.
28:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel valued.
28:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel preaching.
28:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel seeing after you heard what when I do for me.
28:23
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
28:23
[SPEAKER_04]: And then answers the question, how do you get out of your head during sex?
28:28
[SPEAKER_04]: That is your answer, you know?
28:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you get out of your head and by sharing whatever you can turn to.
28:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I even share, you know, I'm over 50 obviously, I'm very serious.
28:38
[SPEAKER_00]: and you have different things happening during those moments.
28:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And now, in very humbling moments, I always share with men communicating these.
28:47
[SPEAKER_00]: So now, here it is in my life.
28:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And now it's sort of in my own personal life.
28:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I have to see if I can let the feeling you actually work in practice.
28:54
[SPEAKER_00]: However, it was amazing that it does because no matter how you feel, no matter what anxiety you have, you actually speak to it, it dissipates.
29:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're with a new person, you say, you know what, I'm with a hearing, I know we're in a situation that's very comfortable with, I choose to be here, but feel like a virgin because we haven't been together.
29:14
[SPEAKER_00]: So I could go slow and just be intentional about what we're doing ever both with you.
29:18
[SPEAKER_00]: You know how settling ad would be for yourself and the other person because they probably here in the same way.
29:23
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god.
29:24
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
29:25
[SPEAKER_04]: Absolutely.
29:25
[SPEAKER_04]: And if they're a dick about it, they can't.
29:28
[SPEAKER_04]: You probably should run anyways.
29:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
29:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's a lot to pursue.
29:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
29:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
29:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Because they're trying to steer that and we both go.
29:36
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't take the ATL.
29:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Now we can explore and it'll create a world of its own.
29:42
[SPEAKER_00]: It'll take because now we're not answers.
29:44
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not more than about performing.
29:46
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'd worry about any other things about it.
29:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Shearing and joining in appreciating.
29:50
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
29:51
[SPEAKER_04]: Hey, Bob and my fam, I have a question for you.
29:54
[SPEAKER_04]: Are you the kind of person who crushes it at work?
29:55
[SPEAKER_04]: It shows up for your family, checks off every to-do list.
29:58
[SPEAKER_04]: But when it comes to your fitness, your energy and your confidence, it feels like something's missing.
30:03
[SPEAKER_04]: You might be doing the workouts listening to all the right podcasts.
30:05
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, you are listening to this one.
30:07
[SPEAKER_04]: But deep down, you know you're just kind of going through the motions and you're done playing small in this area of life.
30:12
[SPEAKER_04]: That's exactly why I created Fit Mind Coaching.
30:15
[SPEAKER_04]: My private one-on-one program for high-achieving women and men who are ready to level up.
30:20
[SPEAKER_04]: This isn't just another fitness plan, this is about building the body and the mindset to match the life you're working so damn hard for.
30:26
[SPEAKER_04]: Because success in business means nothing if you're hiding in hoodies avoiding mirrors or dragging through your day with your energy.
30:33
[SPEAKER_04]: 4.
30:33
[SPEAKER_04]: Showing up on Zoom meetings, feeling good from the chest up, but praying no one ever sees what's going on below the screen.
30:39
[SPEAKER_04]: We're talking about fat loss, muscle building, and real confidence that bleeds into every area of your life.
30:44
[SPEAKER_04]: Your boredom, your bedroom, and your parenting.
30:46
[SPEAKER_04]: You want it all?
30:47
[SPEAKER_04]: Good.
30:47
[SPEAKER_04]: You should have it all.
30:48
[SPEAKER_04]: Let's go, click the link in the show notes and book your free call with me today.
30:52
[SPEAKER_04]: Let's build the strongest, most confident version of you inside and out.
30:56
[SPEAKER_04]: You're ready for more, and I'm ready to show you how back to the show.
31:00
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, one of the questions was someone was asking, like, I think it was a guy.
31:04
[SPEAKER_04]: What makes someone like magnetic in the bedroom?
31:06
[SPEAKER_04]: And everything that we're saying right now is that answer.
31:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
31:11
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I back in 2012.
31:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I had the benefit of going to Austin to see a friend of mine.
31:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And in the airport, that's what maximum magazine is.
31:21
[SPEAKER_00]: The man who don't know is magazine.
31:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
31:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And it had lesbian love making.
31:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I was intrigued.
31:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, okay, it's the men's magic thing, but we gotta never be in love making it.
31:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't make sense.
31:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm from by, you know, so I bought it and what it did was explain how a woman makes love to a woman.
31:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And they did it then put in the article for a put in the article for men to learn, and that's a blanking from the article.
31:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's what I did, I actually used, I actually read the article, obviously the nature of what I do, I applied the theory when I got home.
31:56
[SPEAKER_00]: now I'm also the voice.
31:58
[SPEAKER_00]: My then wife probably still remembers that thing and she reminds me of because anytime I say you know you know 20, 20, 12 and all this you know exactly what I'm talking about because I apply what I've learned and what I learned is it's a full body experience not just a mission it's an exploration because it's scientifically the largest sex organ in the skin.
32:22
[SPEAKER_00]: So why are we just focused on the pelvic region?
32:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So if I'd actually slow down and explore from head to toe, next to right up to down, sunny side up and around, and allow the heightened sense of allows we're having, who knows what could happen.
32:36
[SPEAKER_04]: Mm-hmm.
32:37
[SPEAKER_04]: What if we have someone listening right now, which I'm sure we do, and it could be a female listening, or a male, it could be applied both.
32:44
[SPEAKER_04]: What if there, someone's listening to this going, yes, that, okay, I'm all open to that, this.
32:49
[SPEAKER_04]: I want more of this, but they're like, I know my partner's not.
32:54
[SPEAKER_04]: Like what if your level of intimacy or sex drive doesn't match with your partner?
33:02
[SPEAKER_04]: You know, and there was a gray, but I don't think I could get her to do that or I try to go home, but he's always tired.
33:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, first and foremost, I would say gauntlet joke perception be the other person's true.
33:15
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, you, that's a good one.
33:17
[SPEAKER_04]: That's a good one.
33:20
[SPEAKER_00]: So, why are you thinking and talking and speaking for someone that's right next to you?
33:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't you turn it into a conversation?
33:27
[SPEAKER_00]: How am I to be your own feel of yourself and be projecting your own uncomfortability of that conversation and with projecting and making it the awkwardness problem will you never talk to when you confirm?
33:37
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the number one story.
33:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's step out.
33:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Once you get to pass that coin, you actually have the conversation.
33:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And what it is is that you're expressing what you want, but not just expressing what you want, but the why.
33:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah.
33:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And the priority that what it creates for you and what that person has an opportunity to create for you that they get to share and that fostered a binding and a stronger connection between the two.
34:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So most people, you know, they'll either have a fitness button.
34:07
[SPEAKER_00]: There are a number of fitness people out there, but your pitch, your brand, your why.
34:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Your story resonates with the person and then they are drawn more to you, right?
34:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So as I'm revealing my intimate self, as I'm being naked and unshamed, verbally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, we're actually bound in culture and closely together to make the connection when we do come together, that out-of-body experience, that I am emotionally say, I feel secure, I feel her, I feel valued, I feel appreciative, so there are no limits at this.
34:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Because all the walls in the barrier and how I can't turn the lights off, I can't see what we don't care about those things.
34:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's bigger than the moment.
34:47
[SPEAKER_00]: It's an experience, not a mission.
34:49
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like not the charity of the Lord.
34:51
[SPEAKER_00]: We have a man of so-called the Son of the Lord.
34:53
[SPEAKER_00]: We are the ones that they don't focus on the experience.
34:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Women want the experience.
34:57
[SPEAKER_00]: and me the research shows that all women don't have to have orgasms every time to have a pleasurable sexual experience.
35:04
[SPEAKER_00]: But the guys always focus on what I got to make so as you know, how about the things you're enjoying the experience?
35:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Understanding what's going on in your body with the people forever recognize.
35:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Good intimacy is you being self-aware of yourself.
35:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, instead of giving somebody directions on what to do, why don't you shift your own hips to the left to the right, you know what you want to be?
35:23
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, you know, help me get this message across to women too, Todd, because I hear this a lot.
35:29
[SPEAKER_04]: Men are so, and this isn't my experience.
35:33
[SPEAKER_04]: This is also like what other women tell me men are very touchy like they want to grab your butt.
35:39
[SPEAKER_04]: They want to grab your boob, you know, they're there.
35:41
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, it pot you like you said earlier like I'm sorry, they want to pot you and women take that and I think it's probably lack of education like no one taught us anything but women take it is like oh my god, you just see me as you know, it's an ass and like you can
35:58
[SPEAKER_04]: You just see me at the lab, you're just always, it's just about sex for you, isn't it?
36:03
[SPEAKER_04]: And I hear women say it's all the time.
36:05
[SPEAKER_04]: He's always grabbed my book.
36:06
[SPEAKER_04]: He's always grabbed my butt.
36:06
[SPEAKER_04]: He's not in it.
36:07
[SPEAKER_04]: And I'm always like, you have to realize that men are different creatures than us.
36:13
[SPEAKER_04]: And they are driven differently.
36:14
[SPEAKER_04]: And I'm not going to speak for men because I'm not a man.
36:16
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm all you speak on it.
36:17
[SPEAKER_04]: But that's kind of the message I'm trying to get to them and get them to understand.
36:21
[SPEAKER_04]: And they also love you.
36:22
[SPEAKER_04]: They...
36:23
[SPEAKER_04]: if they we took that away from you Karen tomorrow you'd be very sad that your husband's not touching and after you anymore.
36:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So remember that very very much so help me that message across and like get women to understand this.
36:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Well to your point men and women are different.
36:39
[SPEAKER_00]: It really boils down to that allowing your perception of what he's doing, be heaps term.
36:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm, that's why it's important, that's why it's significant, it's the why you want to know about, yeah, say, man, I'm touchy, clearly, man, I'm visual creatures, yeah, man, I'm deviant, or I'm brave to be hunted, we haven't been captured, we do these things.
37:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So, you're our parish.
37:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you're I'll give and remember man can get to after go to the sex to rest the anxious in depression without going through the path of sex.
37:14
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a big piece to the puzzle.
37:16
[SPEAKER_00]: You have multiple coping mechanisms, but naturally or yeah, great sex.
37:19
[SPEAKER_00]: at least when your teenager and up and then have like change or stay in change.
37:24
[SPEAKER_00]: But we're hungry by nature.
37:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So if not just grabbing and poking it to objectify, if because that's the back connection that it, oh, another way, the way the best way the same thing.
37:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Man will never ask what's back on the tail or flowers, but they will never reject Daniel.
37:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Why?
37:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Because man or justice emotionally, that's emotional and wants emotional connection to women.
37:46
[SPEAKER_00]: We just can't tell you
37:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So, but therefore, that's a form of being by you making yourself available, that's the way of what's feeling that we're wanted, we're accepted, we're designed, because I hear a lot we're managing women during this year, and then women say, well, men don't want women in this year.
38:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, we do, because we're always pursuing you, I don't really know if you want enough, because sometimes when we're working, we can tell the difference.
38:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's the difference.
38:16
[SPEAKER_00]: We do know when you want to be there and when you don't.
38:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, even if not just for the ejaculation, men can tell.
38:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And without you pursuing us and showing us that we're more than the dire, how do we know that?
38:29
[SPEAKER_00]: So what they've seen, and pulling it's broad and that's our emotional communication.
38:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Because again, we learn sex in the lock of them.
38:35
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't know, no women were around.
38:38
[SPEAKER_00]: So you know, I always say, hey, that's the problem.
38:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're all in the locker room, talking about sex.
38:43
[SPEAKER_00]: But the one thing, there's no woman hits the
38:49
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
38:50
[SPEAKER_04]: So you're just learning off of lies and fibs and tales.
38:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And exact.
38:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
38:57
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I think it's it's just so important to have these conversations and remind men and women of this and yeah, and now women we need to be initiating to like you hit the nail on the head like men need it just as much.
39:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, very much.
39:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And just by having the conversation, then we can level say,
39:16
[SPEAKER_00]: the high-performance local homes because now we're having conversations with finding that sweet spot.
39:21
[SPEAKER_00]: You ought to be sharing with any time you meet a person, whatever your definition of a bad-hood womanhood of relationships are, all needs to be blown up.
39:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Why?
39:29
[SPEAKER_00]: because neither one of you will round when your boxes were made.
39:34
[SPEAKER_00]: So therefore, they don't have to include the other person.
39:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm.
39:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, if I just meet, I just met you today.
39:40
[SPEAKER_00]: So therefore, if we were pursuing one another, whatever I think about manhood, womanhood, or literature, I have to understand and curse.
39:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So when I show up at the man I am, if that is frequency, you understand.
39:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
39:52
[SPEAKER_00]: So that means that I have to be open to learning you to understand what's important.
39:57
[SPEAKER_00]: that's how I show my value to you.
39:59
[SPEAKER_00]: If I step outside of my comfort zone, to me too, where you need to be medical.
40:04
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm not going to step out of my comfort zone.
40:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't really want you.
40:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to conform to me.
40:09
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
40:10
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
40:12
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and all of this in order for me to communicate that like I have to know what I want and what I thought out of I think, you know, because I can't tell you and you can't know unless I know then man having to start over and really learn the dating world and what I had to communicate I learned I have to be very, very clear because I can come across is like the boss bay like.
40:36
[SPEAKER_04]: You know, I can come across and it's very masculine in some areas and I had to make sure I communicated very well that like look I want that masculine rule like you're going to have to be man enough to be the rock and hold me because I don't want to be in my masculine I want to be in my feminine and I know sometimes I can appear differently like oh she just wants to be the boss babe more the panzer relationship I don't I really don't I want to feel safe I want to let my guard down I want to feel and be like a little girl and
41:05
[SPEAKER_04]: you know, I've heard that before like, I feel like a lot, you know, a woman feels safe when she actually acts more childish and more like a little girl.
41:14
[SPEAKER_04]: And I want to, you know, I had to learn that I wanted to be dominated.
41:19
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't want to be in that role.
41:21
[SPEAKER_04]: And that was important to me.
41:22
[SPEAKER_04]: And if if a man couldn't step up on the outside and in other ways, I was like, oh, there's going to be a way he's going to do that in the bedroom either, but
41:30
[SPEAKER_04]: I'd learn this about myself, and that's what I wanted first.
41:35
[SPEAKER_00]: But that means that also meant when I'm looking for someone, you have to already despair and emotional save your own personal and emotional safety and security.
41:44
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to only be connected to an owner or an emotion, but the man that secure doesn't have an issue with the woman that shows up with masculine energy at time, because while he shows up as a man, that woman will surrender.
41:57
[SPEAKER_00]: One of my fantasy girl kind of Jill Scott, the fan, Jill Scott, and she said to who I believe and personified femininity in an excellent way.
42:09
[SPEAKER_00]: She's strong, she's powerful, but she's soft and delicate at some time.
42:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And Tai Chi, they would say, I don't know the rap with cotton.
42:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And but she said, if you're a man, that can tell me what to do, you can tell me what to do.
42:23
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you're not, you can't.
42:25
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you're a man who shows up in your steadfast and you're consistent and who you are and how you care for me, you can say what you need to say because I'll surrender because you demonstrated you are in that position.
42:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
42:36
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you're inconsistent, you need that apply.
42:39
[SPEAKER_04]: Mm-hmm.
42:40
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't want to step away.
42:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, exactly.
42:43
[SPEAKER_00]: But it begins with your own self-awareness.
42:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
42:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And then giving yourself permission to share your term.
42:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
42:55
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, yeah, maybe you can help me with this because I know I got a couple of questions about this and you know, we have a lot of single people dating married long term short we have a variety on here, but I would say probably a lot of people are probably married in a relationship, but probably long term and they're always looking.
43:16
[SPEAKER_04]: How do we go next level?
43:17
[SPEAKER_04]: How do we how do we explore this without getting danger dangerous or like you know some people want to go to a strip club or like a lifestyle club or like how do we do more and always explore that but not go too far.
43:30
[SPEAKER_04]: I think a lot of people worry about ruining their relationship but we know we need to change things up.
43:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, we really changed things up and changed things up.
43:38
[SPEAKER_00]: How secure are we with each other?
43:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so before we begin to explore, are we sure that we've dealt with all of our issues?
43:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And I can't stop.
43:47
[SPEAKER_00]: We can both come from a place of giving each other the benefit of it down.
43:53
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, if the foundation is thinking about this, we're together here real relationship and we're going to build the system up above us.
44:00
[SPEAKER_00]: That means we have to be in lockstep in order for it to solve.
44:04
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's long.
44:05
[SPEAKER_00]: It's we're going to build this has to be solid.
44:08
[SPEAKER_00]: But if this is not solid, I wouldn't really encourage you because that's going to open a door to confusion.
44:13
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the things that I work and obviously the sex community with alternative lifestyle, etc.
44:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And, one, personally, I'm just speaking personally, I don't think one's any better than the other.
44:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Because what I know is that all of them, if you don't have care, if the person who doesn't have care, they're going to violate the rules, no matter what game you're playing.
44:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Such a, such a, such a.
44:34
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, so it's just important.
44:36
[SPEAKER_00]: that we understand ourselves and make sure the other folks understand themselves and we teach them how to care for us.
44:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And then in that sharing our wives and having that open communication, then we can build and we can add whatever because after a while, when I got married, the first time married we waited four or five years to have children.
44:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, everybody was saying, are you going to get me?
44:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you going to have children?
44:58
[SPEAKER_00]: No, but what happened is we got tired of Rick Kirk.
45:01
[SPEAKER_00]: We were traveling over the world, we're doing this, we're doing that.
45:04
[SPEAKER_00]: We said, I'm bored.
45:06
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't do something different right now.
45:07
[SPEAKER_00]: We ain't going to make it.
45:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
45:09
[SPEAKER_00]: So then let's go ahead and get you to do it.
45:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, cool.
45:11
[SPEAKER_02]: That's all I did.
45:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
45:14
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's an incremental process.
45:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
45:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, as we're becoming as we're growing as we're involved in, we should be able to communicate this, how we're involved in.
45:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And because we should create cold blue communication oftentimes people get married with the false or come together with the false illusion that you're going to keep the person you met every moment, every day they have a variable changing in life.
45:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't always have great here.
45:37
[SPEAKER_00]: So therefore, we should always be consistently what I call Jay Z Moments, allow me to reintroduce lots of Moments, right?
45:44
[SPEAKER_00]: So as I'm going to life, as I'm impacted by life and ideas are changing mindset to changing.
45:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, sure though.
45:51
[SPEAKER_00]: So when I say, let's go to a Swingers Club, it's not a shock, because it's been an involved in relationship, whatever.
45:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And hey, I'm intrigued about this.
45:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I was watching Netflix, and they had the love on the spectrum or whatever
46:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was interested, it's all the kind of interesting.
46:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, you want to walk this way.
46:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, if you want to say, hey, I'm thinking of maybe a third person.
46:13
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't just say, hey, I want a third person.
46:15
[SPEAKER_00]: We start talking about sex.
46:16
[SPEAKER_00]: We talk about exploring.
46:17
[SPEAKER_00]: You may even invite a doll in the room to be playing with, be playful.
46:21
[SPEAKER_00]: They'll explore the dooms and adults will be open to hearing each other after we share.
46:25
[SPEAKER_00]: But again, in that being truly transparent, vulnerable and open to hearing what you don't want to hear,
46:31
[SPEAKER_00]: but also be open to just open to what you want to hear in what you don't want to hear, but understand the why that we can continue to walk together in one.
46:40
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and be willing to not judge what you hear if it's something that you don't want to hear, like we're just going to have this open and raw conversation around it.
46:47
[SPEAKER_04]: And just listen.
46:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I think something that we've been talking to me would say, remember, keep saying, well, it's such a hard conversation.
46:55
[SPEAKER_00]: But during adult adults are the only ones built to have a hard climate change.
46:58
[SPEAKER_00]: We really only want the climate reference children don't have a climate change.
47:02
[SPEAKER_00]: So as an adult, we should be comfortable in the hard climate sections.
47:06
[SPEAKER_00]: But if not, how does it want to get what we want to be called?
47:09
[SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.
47:11
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
47:12
[SPEAKER_04]: And, you know, just as you're talking, I'm just thinking like, just strengthening that like that foundation alone can take your relationship in your sex life to a new level.
47:22
[SPEAKER_00]: But without you going to a strip club or bringing a exact exactly exactly because the stronger they're because now we're open and free and we're creating our own exploration.
47:32
[SPEAKER_00]: You can be caught up in an intimacy where they are no rules.
47:36
[SPEAKER_00]: you're not worried about violating a rule because you're so free in the energy, the energy of the collective.
47:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
47:42
[SPEAKER_00]: So you don't, you know, I think I toy, they have all the things, but they're not necessary when that emotional connection is there and we recognize what we're here for and what this is about.
47:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's a truth to it.
47:53
[SPEAKER_04]: This part of life taught it's so important and I, my mind just keeps going to people that I know they're a part of listening and they just, they're having sex like once a month, every other month, some people are listening and probably going, I can't.
48:11
[SPEAKER_04]: or they do it like once every Saturday morning and have this area of their life is just gone.
48:17
[SPEAKER_04]: I know people that have been married for years and they just don't anymore.
48:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're mugged over the end of the house.
48:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I hate, yeah, and I have a couple saying they haven't been sexual in 10 years.
48:28
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh my God, it's like the one thing that you do that separates you from being just roommates and really best friends.
48:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
48:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
48:37
[SPEAKER_00]: The one thing.
48:39
[SPEAKER_00]: You only, I've said many years ago, you're only different between of your partner and anyone else with the relationship you share in the book.
48:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.
48:49
[SPEAKER_00]: That's no different.
48:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that creates a bond and a connection that you can't duplicate anywhere else.
48:55
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
48:56
[SPEAKER_04]: What would you say to those people that are listening that are going like, but how, what do I do?
49:00
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, I don't know how to get started or I want to, but I don't like that he does like, and I know this whole episode is going to help them.
49:07
[SPEAKER_04]: I feel like we already answered that question, but, you know, I know we probably have people sitting there listening going, yeah, this is me.
49:12
[SPEAKER_04]: Well, this is probably talking about me right now.
49:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, but in my first name would say, but I know your own truth and luck that could have once too, because the only way to be free and be wherever you want to be after the
49:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm with yourself and I look with your environment, otherwise you get that possible to be pretty.
49:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So number one, you have to articulate your care and concern in what you want and I'm about what the other person is in doing.
49:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
49:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, I'm looking to explore deeper and to intimacy and I'm emotional connects and I will wonder if you can partner with me on that because if that about what you're not,
49:47
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like we've grown, I'm looking for something different.
49:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to have a different experience.
49:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Not the person is the construct of how we do what we do.
49:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, we may be mentioning it every day, all day.
49:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I just, nobody needs to get it.
50:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's try something else.
50:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And let's go to toy store, let's watch things on TV, let's do these things and create it.
50:09
[SPEAKER_00]: But in the midst of that, sharing how it's a win for the other person
50:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
50:18
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a win for everyone, not anything I'm talking about, and the sad thing is, I always have to hear some quite after a year, being intimate with someone that's not anybody taking anything fun.
50:30
[SPEAKER_00]: It's actually something that you share and together.
50:33
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh.
50:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And to all the time, people feel like they're somebody calling from me, taking from me.
50:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
50:39
[SPEAKER_00]: No, but actually, if you actually would like to actually point back into you, you're feeding them, but they're also feeding you with the reciprocating energy.
50:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, if you allow it.
50:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, exactly.
50:50
[SPEAKER_04]: If you allow it, if you allow it, and accept it.
50:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
50:56
[SPEAKER_04]: It's just such an important part.
50:58
[SPEAKER_04]: And these conversations are so crucial.
51:02
[SPEAKER_04]: And you know, and I think a lot of people out there, like even just a lot of influencers, everything was an influencer now.
51:09
[SPEAKER_04]: And I think they haven't done the work in the journey and the healing in their own life to be able to have the conversation and be open about it and confident enough and secure enough to have the conversation.
51:20
[SPEAKER_04]: So like, even people that are out there and have a voice, they're not saying anything.
51:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, they're about to be doing some research, even medical doctors, which are trained through the University of Michigan.
51:33
[SPEAKER_00]: All of the research showing that only 25% of doctors are comfortable with their own sexuality.
51:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, they're not going to talk to you about children soon.
51:40
[SPEAKER_00]: You have when they haven't used to elect them, it's all going to end up sharing that's going to impact their sex life.
51:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, because now it's a new and normal.
51:47
[SPEAKER_00]: They've been most pieces of the parts.
51:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So now how you organize them, all of the people, they don't tell when and after babies.
51:54
[SPEAKER_00]: then when what we have a warning now and come between you later that apply to the new normal and you might have to explore themselves differently.
52:00
[SPEAKER_00]: It's actually the same shift in change.
52:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So if we're not getting it and we get a very generic version in Spoon, we don't talk about it.
52:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Dr. Don't talk about it.
52:11
[SPEAKER_00]: If we don't talk about it, we're going to suffer.
52:14
[SPEAKER_00]: and that the quality of life is on and yourself on your own truth and not to care and love about yourself and not to say hey I'm hurting I'm wanting and you're my person and you're supposed to be by safe points but then if they're proven out to be safe rates then that's a data point that you should
52:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Connect, collect, and make choices and decisions out of the result of it, because whether you like it or not, everything we receive is data.
52:38
[SPEAKER_00]: If not about whether you like it or not, all the data that we get as far as to receive, so we can make the health use of choices.
52:44
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you only want to receive what you like, you're not counting the other 50% of the data, so how you're making that to your choice of the decision on your situation.
52:53
[SPEAKER_00]: But if I look
52:56
[SPEAKER_00]: weighing the data points and patterns and patterns, and if these are for me to make the health and choice in the seed.
53:02
[SPEAKER_04]: Yep.
53:03
[SPEAKER_04]: Todd, what's one tip that you would give men listening?
53:07
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, men, you need to know this before we on this episode, and then what's one tip that you would give women?
53:13
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, women, you need to know the people that we wrap up.
53:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, the one thing I want men to know is women lack your lot of focus.
53:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, good one.
53:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Slow her going down.
53:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
53:24
[SPEAKER_00]: By being supported.
53:26
[SPEAKER_04]: Hmm, erotic focus.
53:28
[SPEAKER_04]: I've never heard that term before.
53:30
[SPEAKER_04]: I love it.
53:31
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
53:31
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
53:32
[SPEAKER_04]: Got it.
53:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank for women.
53:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Men want to be one of the desires.
53:36
[SPEAKER_00]: That's as much as you do.
53:37
[SPEAKER_00]: But they want to tell you that you're going to have to show up by asserting your true feelings and emotions and passion towards the person.
53:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm.
53:47
[SPEAKER_00]: You'll see him surrender in me over a whole lot more.
53:50
[SPEAKER_00]: But when he asked to ask you and beg you for care and attention, not a good look.
53:55
[SPEAKER_04]: Nope.
53:56
[SPEAKER_04]: Nope.
53:57
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, so good.
53:58
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, like mic drops.
53:59
[SPEAKER_04]: Like I boom, I just need to like drop some of those.
54:02
[SPEAKER_04]: So good.
54:03
[SPEAKER_04]: Todd, where can people find you follow you work with you?
54:07
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, do you work with people from other states?
54:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yes.
54:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
54:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
54:10
[SPEAKER_00]: And I work globally actually down the street.
54:13
[SPEAKER_00]: with now very insurance companies like you to do virtual sessions with support.
54:18
[SPEAKER_00]: You can reach me at ToddmoLoy.com.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know you'll see all my Facebook, social media platforms.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You can buy a product, add it to them cards.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I help you find yourself intimately personally.
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[SPEAKER_04]: Todd is in cards.
54:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Todd is in cards.
54:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Todd is in cards.
54:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The foster commoners communication on all their personal growth and development relationship, sexuality, so forth and then
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[SPEAKER_00]: where we create simulated create conversations, but also do a deep dive within yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, ask yourself the five wives, find wives who cause anality, that corporate American don't.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But we can incorporate some of those five wives and ourselves and we have to get a root cause of why we are who we are, the solutions on what's used here to find.
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[UNKNOWN]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_04]: Well, we'll put everything in the show notes, too.
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[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, thank you.
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[SPEAKER_04]: Todd, this conversation was so perfect.
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[SPEAKER_04]: I can't thank you enough for coming on.
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[SPEAKER_04]: You're you're a blessing to the show.
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[SPEAKER_04]: This is great.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, thank you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate the opportunity to buy it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's very much.
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[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, this is awesome.
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[SPEAKER_04]: You guys run to the show notes.
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[SPEAKER_04]: Check them out, give them a follow, go to the website.
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[SPEAKER_04]: Everything will be there for you.
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[SPEAKER_04]: And in the meantime, listen to Todd, take his advice, play this episode again, and then send it to your partner.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, Blacky.
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[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, everyone, stay safe, stay healthy, until next time.