Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 671: When He Comes Back: How To Handle His Return Like A Pro

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Episode 671: When He Comes Back: How To Handle His Return Like A Pro · The Art of Love With Lucia

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  He broke your heart a few months ago or a few years ago.
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  He ended things or you had to end things with him because he
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  was taking you for granted or he wouldn't move things forward or
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  commit. And now here he is again, asking
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  to see you. What should you do?
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  What should you do? If you still want to be with
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  him, well, stay tuned and you'll find out.
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  Hi, this is Lucia with the Art of love.
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  I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
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  you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
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  And welcome back my beautiful no contact army.
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  Have you downloaded my epsilencio to help you stay in
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  no contact? If you haven't, then the link is
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  underneath every single video and podcast.
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  And if you too would like to join our no contact army, all
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  you have to do is say the subscribe button and the bell
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  notification and you're in. And to read our manual go to
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  nocontactsecrets.com where you can read 2 free chapters before
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  you purchase the book. He's back but you don't know
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  what his reason or reasons are for coming back.
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  Do not ask him what he wants. Do you really think he's going
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  to tell you like Oh well I'm horny or the girl I was seeing
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  dumped me so I need an ego boost and validation?
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  His reasons may be selfish or they may be selfless and only
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  time and his actions can tell the truth.
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  You're going to eventually need to determine if he's coming back
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  because his ego is hurt or he just wants access to you again
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  or if he actually wants to move forward with you.
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  So let him do all the talking as well as make the effort to put
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  the relationship or budding relationship if it never quite
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  got off the ground, back together again.
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  Don't you dare lift a finger. If he's trying to play you, he
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  won't say anything about what your status is because he hopes
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  that you'll give him the same treatment as before without him
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  having to do anything or say anything.
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  And This is why, for now, you're not going to give him any
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  girlfriend benefits. And yes, that includes SEX, so
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  let him know there won't be any SEX because you want to focus on
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  building back the emotional attraction.
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  Don't say this because, well, I don't know why you're back here,
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  so I'm not going to be intimate with you.
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  No, no, no. Just use the emotional
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  attraction as an excuse and until you're officially back
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  together, you are not going to make any sacrifices or
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  adjustments for him. Otherwise, you're showing him
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  that he still has power over you.
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  He doesn't automatically get you back.
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  He has to win you over like he did when you first started
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  dating. He needs to show you how badly
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  he wants you and one of the ways that he needs to do that is by
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  answering the six questions that I talk about in my video 6
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  Questions to Ask Your Ex When They Want You Back.
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  And what are those questions you may ask?
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  They are. Why do they want you back?
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  Why should you give them another chance?
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  Why did they change their mind? Why should you trust them?
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  What's going to be different? And maybe most importantly,
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  which most people usually skip, how are they going to make it up
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  to you? They need to pay a price.
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  They need to make it up to you. And he's going to need to give
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  very good answers to those questions, otherwise he's not
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  serious and he's wasting your time.
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  So check out that video. I'll put the link up in the
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  right hand corner on YouTube and it'll explain more about how to
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  answer. Ask the questions because you
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  don't just rapid fire the questions one after the other.
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  No, no, no, you have to be more subtle than that.
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  And until you're back together, let him know that you're single
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  and you will be dating others. And if he says that, Oh well,
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  then he's going to date others too.
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  Since you're dating others, then he obviously doesn't want you
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  back that badly. And voila, you have your answer.
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  Because if he was serious, he would wait.
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  He's the one who screwed up and this is part of the price he's
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  going to have to pay. And years ago I had an ex come
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  back after a year and I was actually dating someone else.
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  And he said, well, I'm willing to wait as long as it takes.
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  So he didn't say, oh, we'll drop the other guy or I'm going to
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  see other people too. He waited and I actually got rid
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  of the other guy pretty fast so he didn't have to wait that
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  long. And if he says that he just
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  wants to be friends, then he's wasting your time.
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  He needs to show you that he's serious about moving the
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  relationship forward, not a friendship forward.
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  And you can even say to him, well, how do I know you really
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  mean it? And let him figure out the
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  answer to that. Because guys may tell you that
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  they want you back and even pour their heart out to you, tell you
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  they missed you and all that. And then it just turned out to
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  be a whim of the moment and oops, off they go once again.
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  And you are once again broken hearted.
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  So it's only through sustained, reliable, consistent actions
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  that count that will prove to you whether his words are true
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  or not. And a guy who really wants you
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  back? He will treat you with kid
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  gloves. He will treat you like a
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  Princess. He'll want to consistently spend
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  time with you. He will apologize.
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  He'll ask for your forgiveness. He'll say something like he's
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  been a fool forever, letting you go in the 1st place or behaving
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  in a way that left you with no choice but to break up with him.
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  That's how a man who wants you behaves.
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  And I also want you to set an internal clock, a time limit of
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  how much time you're going to give him to prove himself.
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  And don't tell him about this. Otherwise he may just do
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  everything put on a show because of the time limit.
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  Do not give him the playbook and don't make the time more than
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  one or two months. And in those one or two months
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  there needs to be consistent change through action, not
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  words. And if he's serious, he won't
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  take forever to show you that he's changed and things are
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  going to be different. He'll do what he has to to
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  convince you that he does want to make things work, and if he
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  can't do that, then he's not serious and he's just wasting
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  your time. Think of all the men who would
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  never dream of letting you go in the first place because it
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  didn't take losing you for them to realize what they had.
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  OK now I want to hear from you. How long have you been in no
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  contact and how is it going? And if you would like my help to
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  get your ex back you can contact me at theartoflove.net and we
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  will send you the rates. They are not on the website and
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  the direct link to that is below.
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  Every single video and podcast. And if you found this video
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  helpful, please like, subscribe, and share.
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  If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review.
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  And finally, remember, love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
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  enlightens.