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The Breaking Point: Why You Can’t Afford to Ignore Sexual Frequency · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for May 1st, 2026 The Breaking Point Why You Can't Afford
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  to Ignore Sexual Frequency A note This podcast is not what I had intended,
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  but it's the truth, and I think it's what needs to be said.
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  I pray those that should hear this will somehow come across it.
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  One of the things most often put up with in the bedroom is not enough sex.
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  We think of this as a male issue, but in 20-25% of marriages,
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  the wife says she wants more than she can get.
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  Additionally, there are a growing number of couples where both would like to
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  have sex more often, but are too busy to make it happen.
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  The idea that what you put up with is what you live with is a big issue here.
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  If you have accepted sex once a week for years, why should your spouse think you really need more?
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  What actually happens is the man or woman reaches a breaking point.
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  They just can't take it anymore.
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  And being in that place does not make it easy to have a calm, rational discussion.
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  Years of frustration, anger, and feeling unloved are screaming to get out.
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  If your spouse wants more sex, please hear one thing.
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  Virtually every man and woman we've talked to about not having the sex they
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  need, and we've talked to many, say they feel unloved because of it.
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  I realize this is rarely the reason for the lack of sex, but if it's nearly
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  universally the message received, then it's legitimate.
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  And the solution is not trying to convince them that you really do love them.
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  It's rare a marriage ends just because of a lack of sex, but it's a contributing
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  factor far more often than most know.
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  In various studies, 40-55% of those who sought a divorce said a lack of sex
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  was a major contributing factor. That's huge.
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  A lack of sex causes a couple to drift apart.
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  It's hard to be generous, much less to sacrifice, for someone you don't feel loves you.
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  Adultery becomes more likely not so much because of the lack of sex,
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  but the lack of intimacy and love.
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  So it's not just a lack of sex. It's what a lack of sex does to the relationship.
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  If there's not enough sex in your marriage, that's an emergency situation.
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  An emergency means you need to act now, not that it's too late.
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  The fact that the spouse unhappy with that has put up with it for years doesn't
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  make it less of an emergency.
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  At best, you stay together as your relationship becomes more like that of roommates.
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  At worst, your spouse reaches the end of their tolerance and leaves.
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  If that happens, you have virtually no chance of fixing the relationship As
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  it means their love for you is dead,
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  I know there are all kinds of reasons why sex is difficult and you can't do
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  anymore And I know none of those will save your relationship or reduce the odds
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  of a divorce If you care about your spouse or your marriage,
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  please get help If your spouse is part of why you don't say yes more often Then
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  make it clear that they need to work on that This is Paul And often saying no
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  to sex is not doing marriage well out.