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Train Your Nervous System To Turn Off Survival Mode · Bye Bye Panic

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to get out of survival mode, you're going to need to shift your approach from healing your nervous system to training it.
• 0:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Over the last 15 years, I've been helping people in this nervous system healing space, helping them overcome their chronic symptoms, anxiety, panic, stress, and the longer I'm in the space.
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: The more I'm convinced that overcoming your symptoms is more like training your nervous system like a muscle, not healing them.
• 0:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: So in this video, I want to share with you why nervous system healing may be the thing that's keeping you stuck, why training your nervous system as a muscle is actually a better approach and why I think is the future of nervous system work and I'll also go over common questions like how do you know when to rest and when to push yourself and what to do if you
• 0:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: So just like you, when I first fell into this cycle, I was told by professionals that this was something I could only manage.
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: and that the best that they can do were just some coping tools.
• 1:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: So whenever you hear this concept that you get overcome your symptoms, that you can heal your nervous system, it brings a lot of hope that you don't have to live like this forever.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: It also gives you a sense of direction if you've been feeling stuck for years.
• 1:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: So the concept of healing is a good thing because it's like an anchor.
• 1:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: It gives you hope, it gives you direction, it even gives you stability and hard times.
• 1:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: but just like any anchor, it can also be the thing that holds you back.
• 1:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the reason why is because a major principle and overcoming your symptoms is not monitoring your progress based on how you feel.
• 1:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you monitor your progress on how you feel, this journey is going to feel like a roller coaster.
• 1:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: You monitor your progress based on how you respond.
• 1:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you treat this like a healing journey, well, I would ask you, how do you know when you're healed?
• 2:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: You would say you know that you've healed when the symptoms are gone.
• 2:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you know that you've healed if the symptoms are gone, and you can't monitor your progress based on how you feel, well, these aren't direct conflict.
• 2:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: It becomes a paradox.
• 2:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: The way you're trying to measure progress keeps you focused on the very symptoms you're trying to move beyond.
• 2:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: So this is a major limitation of viewing this as a healing journey.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: A much better approach is viewing this as training your nervous system.
• 2:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because when you're training your nervous system, you're not hyper-focused on how you feel.
• 2:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you're focused on training, that also means you have to change your approach of how you measure progress.
• 2:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: This leads me to point two, which is treat this as gaining strength.
• 2:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: not avoiding pain.
• 2:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whether you realize it or not, healing your nervous system still has an undertone of avoidance.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: A key phrase I say in this channel is, get better at feeling discomfort.
• 2:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: We always say, focus on long-term freedom, not short-term comfort.
• 3:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when you're healing your nervous system, you're allowing the discomfort to be there,
• 3:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: to make the discomfort go away long term.
• 3:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you get better at tolerating the discomfort, but you also have a stopwatch in your mind where you think, okay, I'm tolerating the discomfort, but I'm tolerating it and hopes that it goes away in the future.
• 3:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: The intent behind every action is still pushing this away and that's why viewing this as a healing journey is what gets many people stuck because if I can summarize this whole journey in one sentence, it's that overcoming your symptoms is about getting good at feeling bad.
• 3:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: not feeling bad so that you can feel good, just getting good at feeling bad, period, full stop.
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Viewing getting good at feeling bad as a skill.
• 3:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: So right now, you might be having feelings of discomfort and it's just very challenging.
• 4:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of viewing the discomfort as, oh, I'm feeling this symptom, so I must have not healed.
• 4:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Instead, viewing it as just a skill that's been underdeveloped.
• 4:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's all it is.
• 4:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Training your nervous system rather than trying to heal it allows you to experience the discomfort without making its disappearance the purpose of the practice.
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Training your nervous system is just about becoming more capable of being with your feelings.
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: The mindset shift here is to view this as becoming more capable to feel your feelings without running away.
• 4:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is
• 4:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: building capacity.
• 4:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it's not about healing your nervous system.
• 4:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's about building capacity within your nervous system.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's about building resiliency.
• 4:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Building capacity is also what D sensitizes your nervous system.
• 4:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is what turns off those alarm systems.
• 5:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: As your nervous system gets stronger, your nervous system, D sensitizes.
• 5:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: It becomes less sensitive.
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And here's the
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: The word healing can leave you feeling like something inside you needs fixing.
• 5:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you view this journey as something as you're just building capacity, this comfort becomes something you're learning to handle.
• 5:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't become a measure of progress.
• 5:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And here's the thing that I see so many people get stuck with that have been on this journey for a while.
• 5:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: what happens when you feel discomfort in the future?
• 5:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Something that has nothing to do with your symptoms.
• 5:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's say you have a stressful week at work.
• 5:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have a conflict in the relationship.
• 5:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have uncertainty about the future.
• 5:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: When those feelings show up, does that mean you haven't healed?
• 5:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can't make the destination the absence of something.
• 5:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can't make the destination the absence of discomfort.
• 5:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: because you'll never reach it.
• 5:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whenever you make the absence of discomfort, your destination, every uncomfortable feeling becomes evidence that you're not there yet.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: The reason why training your nervous system works so much better is because you're moving towards something.
• 6:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're becoming someone that's more capable at handling things.
• 6:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you know your nervous system in many ways is like moving away from something?
• 6:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: but training it is like moving towards it.
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's why a better analogy is instead of viewing this as healing your nervous system like getting over a cold, it's like seeing this like you're training in the gym.
• 6:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't go to the gym to avoid discomfort.
• 6:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: You go to the gym so that you get better at handling heavy things.
• 6:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: The consequence is that your nervous system, your muscles get stronger.
• 6:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the pains that you feel disappear, not because you healed, but because your nervous system or muscles in this analogy gets stronger at what used to overwhelm it.
• 6:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Training your nervous system is a much better mindset frame to use on this journey, but if you're looking at it this way, you might naturally think, okay, are you just telling me I'm supposed to feel bad forever?
• 7:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: If training is uncomfortable, should I just accept the fact that I'm going to feel terrible always?
• 7:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is a very common question I get asked all the time.
• 7:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it's important to realize that getting good at feeling bad doesn't mean deciding that you will always feel bad all the time.
• 7:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Training your nervous system doesn't mean you have to accept that you're gonna feel bad all the time.
• 7:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: The purpose of training your nervous system is simply to stop making every uncomfortable moment a test of whether you're getting better or not.
• 7:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you're viewing this as a healing game, you are treating every discomfort as and my making progress and my not.
• 7:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: How do I know I've healed?
• 7:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: The purpose of training is just to let go of that.
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't mean that you'll accept a feeling bad forever.
• 7:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: As your capacity grows, that same discomfort can affect you differently.
• 7:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: What overwhelmed you in the past can become something you handle with much less struggle.
• 8:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: and an analogy here that I think can help you that has nothing to do with nervous system work is when I started filming content, it was so difficult.
• 8:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was so uncomfortable and it took so long.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: I used to feel very nervous filming, but over time it got easier.
• 8:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I, in fact, actually, it got fun really fast.
• 8:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: I really enjoyed content, but content didn't get better because I stopped doing it.
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just kept doing it and the nervousness disappeared slowly.
• 8:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's because my capacity grew and filming no longer felt overwhelming.
• 8:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's the same thing with your symptoms.
• 8:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: training your nervous system doesn't mean you're going to feel uncomfortable always.
• 8:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: It might feel overwhelming right now, but over time it gets easier, and it's not because the symptoms went away.
• 8:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's because your nervous system developed more resiliency.
• 8:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: It developed more strength, so it just felt lighter.
• 8:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: People think that in order for a symptom to disappear, it needs to go away.
• 9:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: but there's another way, your symptoms can disappear just by your nervous system getting stronger.
• 9:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, this might all be making sense, but you might also be thinking, yeah, Sean, but the reason I felt into the cycle is because I pushed myself too far.
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're telling me to train my nervous system,
• 9:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the exact same thing that made me fall into the cycle.
• 9:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: So this seems like terrible advice.
• 9:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so this leads me to the next point, which is, it's the same effort, but it's a different approach.
• 9:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you falling into this was because you pushed yourself too far,
• 9:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's because you didn't have clear boundaries of when to stop.
• 9:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Training your nervous system is different than grinding.
• 9:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you're grinding and you never stop, that leads to burnout.
• 9:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: That leads to survival mode.
• 9:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you're training your nervous system, whenever you're building capacity, it still requires you to stretch yourself.
• 9:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: but you're stretching yourself in limits, that doesn't mean you fully ignore your limits.
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you were like me and this is how you fell into the cycle, you were likely grinding.
• 10:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: You were demanding more, you were sacrificing more, you probably were not sleeping as much, not taking breaks, not having downtime.
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: You treated yourself like a machine,
• 10:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: instead of a human being, that should just always be producing.
• 10:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: That leads to burnout.
• 10:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: But training your nervous system, you understand that effort takes something out of you.
• 10:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: You stretch yourself, but you also make room to recharge.
• 10:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: You adjust what you've been asking for yourself, and then you gradually build from there.
• 10:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: The key distinction here is that you're building more capacity.
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not building infinite capacity.
• 10:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Getting stronger doesn't mean you stop needing rest.
• 10:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: This to me is the future of nervous system work.
• 10:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think over the next few years, you're gonna see a lot more people talking about training their nervous system.
• 10:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you wanna know more insights about this nervous system work and you want me to be brutally honest with you, make sure to check out this video right here.
• 11:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for watching.